Can we get a list of the brothers in order of how Otto feels about them romantically or in other ways ;)
"So, we'll rank the brothers in 5 categories:
Attractiveness
Performance/enjoyment (to phrase it politely)
Long term eligibility
Clout
Extra skills
Each will be scored out of 6 for a possible total of 30 points."
John Dory, total: 14
"John Dory is plenty attractive in a rugged kind of way. He scored slightly above average in performance (to everyone's surprise). He is single, however he has a bad track record with romantic commitment. He's also not a Brozone fan-favorite, and doesn't have many extra skills that would benefit me as his partner."
Bruce, total: 20
"Bruce is objectively the most attractive brother and the most popular member of Brozone, which gives him full points for "attractiveness" and "clout." He scored the lowest possible point on "long term eligibility" on account of him already being married. He doesn't have a lot of extra skills outside of parenting and managing the restaurant (not especially beneficial to me)"
Clay, total: 25
"Clay is very attractive, very tall, and very skilled. He has a job and many qualifications which adds to his attractiveness. He is single and seems unafraid of commitment. He scored low in "clout" since he's a less popular member of Brozone. However, he's the best dancer, he's funny, and he's still a very good singer. Very talented indeed 💙"
Floyd, total: 19
"Floyd is very beautiful, but not a great match for me. He is caring and emotionally intelligent which makes him a good partner (but not for me). His performance was... Not to my tastes. He is the second most popular Brozone member so he ranks high on "clout." He doesn't seem to have many additional skills. Flop."
Branch, total: 18
"Branch is the best singer of Brozone and very popular (even though he only performed live once). It feels weird to give him the highest possible score for clout since he was most famous as a baby. Despite being exempt from the "performance" category, he still has a higher total score than John Dory. He also seems to have a lot of skills from growing up alone and fending for himself. After being abandoned. Very resourceful!"
"And there you have it! My official ranking of the Brozone members based on my personal experience with them! 💙"
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I always think it's a little surprising, irritating, endearing, something when big, tough men find solace in being gentle with their daughters.
There's reason to do tough things with them, too, to make sure they grow up strong and independent, but I think of a man like Simon "Ghost" Riley, who spent a huge percentage of his life being beaten down consistently by almost all the men who were around him.
And sure, he trusts the men in his task force with his life now, no question about it, but... I think the sudden calm he experiences when he starts to raise a daughter is beyond strange for him, but also weirdly... healing, too. Enjoyable.
That's not to say he doesn't, and hasn't, enjoyed the boyish things in life, the watching sports, the playing in the dirt, the pretending to hold guns part of growing up... but he finds himself sitting through your daughter's ballet class, overwhelmed by the calm that surrounds him, actually able to focus on the intensity of her pliers, her releves, the way her pink skirt ripples when she leaps into a sauter.
It's a new realization, a new kind of war (between him and learning how to be a parent), but it's one that doesn't revolve around the consistent anxiety that warps his stomach when he watches boys, little or not, teeter the line between roughhousing and fighting, picking on one another for shedding accidental tears that, really, cause no harm.
With your daughter, he's set in charge of watching her play with her friends and finds there is no lump in his stomach when she giggles with them, no dark possibility drifting in the back of his mind that she'll reach out and get her arm broken by someone she trusts--the fights she fights with her peers all between the characters they play and not between their fists, their games of laughter and drama and screaming but not of raging violence.
There's people who ask him, people who joke, wouldn't a man like him prefer a son? He must've been so disappointed... Yet, Simon still has yet to think of the best way to tell them that he honestly enjoys having a daughter a little bit more, that she runs to him and not for a second is he afraid she's hiding a snake up her sleeve, because she's only ever greeted him with flowers.
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It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.
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