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romanticintheory · 2 days

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on my knees BEGGING for more price and civilian!reader. i just read it and i can’t stop thinking about all the cute itty bitty interactions- their date, their convos, maybe him meeting her surprisingly scary dog (currently in love thinking about COD men and K9s yknow?).

Like if there’s not a single supporter for this, i’m dead in a ditch somewhere

what it's like dating john price as a civilian.

john price x gn!reader

part 1

more fluff, more domesticity, me being down bad

a/n: KSAHDASDKJ im so glad u love them as much as i do!! hope this does them justice for u <3

the date went really well, thankfully. he showed up at your place ready to pick you up with the bouquet of flowers he knew you deserved. call him old-fashioned, but he was adamant on making sure you didn't have to lift a finger for anything.

hell, he even asked you why you were standing out there in the cold by yourself, saying, "i could have come to your door so you didn't have to freeze all the way out here, sweetheart!"

he held out his hand for you to take as he guided you down the stairs, opened your side of the door for the car, and always walked with you on the side closest to the street.

the movie was a cute action comedy. it was even funnier with john because he'd sometimes pipe up at the action sequences talking about how unrealistic some scenes were.

when you told john that the main character's actor, a built, older-looking man, was used to be your celebrity crush in high school, he couldn't help but let a chuckle rumble in his throat and ask, "got a type then, love?"

"yeah, probably do," you admitted shamelessly.

the dinner was just as nice as the movie: he took you out to a nice restaurant and hung onto every word you spoke. likewise, you couldn't take your eyes off him whenever he told you stories about him and his boys.

he wouldn't tell you stories about him doing his job, mostly because he didn't want to disturb you with what he's had to do. he did, however, happily tell you stories about the ridiculous things he's seen his task force get up to.

"they sound like a handful," you said warmly, "you sure they're not your kids?"

"no, but they certainly sound like it," he leaned just a little bit closer to hear you better over the chatter of the restaurant.

"i get that. i've got a handful at home, too." you paused to take a sip of your drink. "a little puppy."

"really? what's its name?"

when he takes you back home, he wordlessly walks you back to your door.

"would you like to meet beau, john?" you ask, hand hovering over the door you unlocked.

he opens his mouth to speak but gets interrupted by the sound of scratching and a dog panting on the other side of the door.

"well, only if he's okay with meeting me."

when you open the door, john is surprised to see a full-grown rottweiler launching at him at full speed. for a second, he saw his life flashing before his eyes before he realized the wagging of beau's tail.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!" you call out immediately, "he's usually more polite around strangers. beau- beau get down!"

john only laughs at your panic and took your dog's friendliness as a sign to pet him. "'s alright, love. i trust you enough to know you wouldn't put me in harm's way."

he takes in beau's stature. from the looks of his larger-than-average size, he might be a guard dog for you. or maybe you just wanted company and decided to hone in on his scariness and bulk by adding that spiked collar.

"so, a puppy, huh?" he points outed humorously, locking eyes with you after realizing that your canine was, in fact, fully grown.

"hey, he's still a puppy to me!" you interject, kneeling down beside john's crouched figure to also show the rottweiler some affection.

"i see," he nods thoughtfully, turning his attention back to beau. "you're just as gorgeous as your owner, huh?"

your face is on fire again. "you flatter me, john."

"how does the saying go? it's not flattery if it's true?" he stands up much to the disappointment of beau and to take a step closer to you.

"you're too kind."

"jus' trying to treat you like how you deserve."

it's like he's trying to light you aflame on purpose. your embarrassment grows so much you have to cover the smile on your face with your hand. once your face has cooled down, you take a deep breath and let your hand fall down back to your side.

"thank you for tonight," you say quietly. "i had a really good time."

"glad to hear," he replies. "'m also happy to see beau likes me, too."

"well, we both have that in common, i guess."

"oh, who's doing the flattery, now?" john says playfully, his hands on his hips as you laugh softly at him.

"still you!" you insist.

"hm. maybe next time we can figure it out, yeah?" he proposes, a hopeful glint in his eye.

"next time? you already ready for a second date, price?"

oh, he was ready for more, but he didn't think you were ready to hear that.

"unless you're not," he tells you slowly, afraid of pressuring you into saying yes already.

sensing his worry, you reassure him with, "how could i not be?"

he relaxes at your admission and leans forward to give you a kiss on the cheek. "i've got your number. next week sound fine to you?"

"of course. whatever you like, soldier," you nodded, the lingering feeling of his lips on your cheek leaving a tingling sensation. if you were just a bit more confident, you would have kissed him then and there.

"i'll see you then, love."

he bends down to give beau a well-deserved goodbye pet before turning to leave, looking you in the eyes one last time before leaving for home.

#call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #call of duty x you #john price x reader #captain john price x reader #john price imagine #john price x you #cod x reader #cod x y/n #cod x you #rarawrites #call of duty fanfic #john price fanfic #captain john price imagine

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kindlespark · 16 hours

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sam i didnt even watch fhjy but can you tell me more of ur thoughts abt kipperlilly? any thoughts even stream of consciousness, she seems so teenager rage gone wrong im so fascinated by her

HJBFESJBFEKSFS THIS IS SO FUNNY OFC ok this is going to be a range of thoughts about the reactions i've seen from both ends of the rat grinder Discourse™

i think it's fine to be like, yeah, what kipperlilly's anger stems from is like deeply unsympathetic and comes from a very privileged status. i think being like "no that's normal for a teen girl" is silly. she is very much not normal she's a little upper-middle class brat and i love her. i love that she's so deeply distasteful and unappealing to people LOL. hate when female characters have to be smoothed down to be liked! like we don't have to downplay her negative traits when people are obsessed with male serial killers all the time etc etc

BUT i also think people forget that like... the bad kids were reading private thoughts she shared with her therapist (which is a massive invasion of privacy)! like of course it was fucked up. that's why she was going to a therapist lmao!!! it stresses me out that people are this vitriolic about a teen character who is pretty explicitly mentally ill and trying to get better about it but is being manipulated by a deity of rage and possibly her adult vice principal like. you don't have to LIKE her but calling for her to be violently murdered is wild to me. the bad kids had never even HEARD of her before this season and you can metagame about brennan not having invented her character yet all you want but in canon u gotta assume she was successfully keeping that rage down until she got got and is now being actively corrupted by a powerful rage deity lmaoooo

and like! she got her narrative punishment!! the monkey's paw curled and she lost her best friend she's got her traumatic backstory now!!! she's already suffering and at her lowest i don't need her to die (again!)

i think brennan is past the point of making teen characters irredeemable so i can only hope that the cast follows through on that bc i feel like redemption and healing from trauma is one of the strongest themes in fantasy high like i bawled my eyes out in every aelwyn and adaine scene. which is why it's really funny to me that siobhan is kipperlilly's biggest hater because i feel like she's a great mirror to adaine's spite and aelwyn's redemption..... like siobhan's characters are all very appealing to me because of their rage. god im hoping and praying they don't kill the rat grinders in the finale god bless

oh final petty thing i think saying kipperlilly's name wrong was only funny the first 200 times <3 love u all mwa

#the rat grinders #kipperlilly copperkettle #d20 #fantasy high

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maomango-doodle · 8 months

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Playing around with the color wheel WEEE

#self-indulgent doodles babyyy #mostly a mix of pose studies and chibis #my fave color is green but im rly into pink lately #color palettes based on pride flags btw. except for the last doodle page #gender is like clay. its whatever i want it to be 🫶#half op vash and no op knives are so important to me #love me some relaxed/silly vw. sharing clothes or glasses #SOOOO normal about ww wearing vash's coat :DDD #and vash being comfortable enough to let his wings and feathers out around ww and not cover up his scars #also tryna come up with a name for legato-vash-midvalley trio. not even a romantic trio theyre just a couple of buffoons annoying each othe #midgatovash? legavashvalley?? VHS as in vashhornsummers?? valleybluestyphoon???#god im so bad at coming up with names.....#i'm mainly thinking of their dynamic in '98 but trimax also works #so much flavor to this trio imo #anyway. it's fun playing dress up with characters and trying to find what would fit their style and all. i wanna do more of that #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #millions knives #legato bluesummers #millionsummers #midvalley the hornfreak #shinxo art

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wacky-wonders · 6 days

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made even more horror stamps (+ hoffman getting punched in the face 😁)

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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idk if ill ever finish/polish this so here ya go. anyway helloooo Howdy/Barnaby nation, im joining your ranks full speed

#THEYRE SO!!!!!#wait fuck whats their ship name #is it... billar. cause barnaby B beagle and howdy pILLAR #no wait. cue sports. pool. nvm #is it... howby? barnapillar?#hold on give me a second i can come up with a name thats a joke. its what they deserve #oh my god im so bad at jokes.... uh how bout wordplay.... Earworm?#cause howdys a caterpillar and barnaby um.. has fluffy ears... also this ship is absolutely Infectious...#no seriously whats their name i need to know so i can Tag Things going forward #cause i have Ideas and Thoughts sometimes #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #scribble salad #LaughingStock

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bucephaly · 7 months

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Oh my g-d okay your tags on the Cherokee 'great grandma was a princess' post. 'Spirit wolf' whatever names? According to the BIA, that's literally a sign that a tribe is full of shit. A lot of times, the folks running admin for these groups have names like 'Big Standing Bear Jones'. My personal favorite was 'Buffalo Sister'. It's connected to 'naming ceremonies' they give themselves, which is also a common thing the BIA has noticed with all of these groups. Whatever you do don't go on Tiktok it's terrible there

YEA I think I've seen you talk abt that before, or I've seen it somewhere. It does feel like I see bogus state tribe people talk about getting Naming Ceremonies soooo often and then actual connected people ive seen are like. 'Yea my grandma just called me worm' or smth lmao.

It's so funny cuz the 'cherokee names' in the fake tribes are always in English... or at least mostly. I've even heard someone say 'I was named [such and such in english] and we just don't know what it would be in cherokee yet' like. A cherokee name..... get this... a cherokee name is by definition... in cherokee.

#and then you get people who come up with names for themselves like im guessing thats probably where the #'gator lone wolf' type names come from if not from a bullshit fake group #man when i was with the choctaw a few weeks ago someone came up to the elder that was with us #and was like im choctaw too im in a group that isnt recognized.#here let me show you on my phone what my choctaw name is (: [couldnt even say it ???]#and the choctaw woman was like. uh. well this bit sorta sounds like the word for long'#and the girl was like 'it means eternal flower (:' its just. so weird lmao #god yea i bet tiktok is so bad with this garbage #i admit i have been tempted because facebook reels kinda suck and are full of stolen content #but i feel like tiktok is just. so awful

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altruistic-meme · 1 month

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............ i want to come out.

#its so hard but also im so tired of this ya know???#my parents will be back in may #and..... idk. theyll only be here for a month before theyre on the road again for another god knows how long #it was like 10 months this time that theyll have been gone #and i just....... i want to tell them #maybe this is a result of me reading heattstopper lmao #i got to the part about charlie telling his parents about his ed again and just started tearing up #but also I've BEEN wanting to come out i just think i might actually be to the point where i just. do it.#I'm still half tempted to just send the email i wrote lol #i may print it and hand it to my mom just cus i can never actually say things out loud #but also i need to talk to my sister first cus i think I'll need that back up #sigh #idk. i want to so bad. i want to try.#im so. ugh.#its like a block in my chest and i hate it #my sisters partner sent me a photo earlier of some item in bg3 bc it has my legal name #and i kniw she was sending it as a funny joke thing but just... yeah.#anyway #im just ranting as per usual lol #fuck #shh ac

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murmurmurl · 3 months

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I think I'm gonna make a side blog for my silly little guys because um. This is getting out of hand,,

But first I gotta figure out the damn name for their unit,,,,,, eugh,,,,

#i actually think i have a way to do it #its a little silly #but im so bad at naming things that. yk.#basically ill just write their main story and come up with a name thay way #yk as if i were them?#does that make any sense at all #can you tell im desperate im so terrible at baming things oh god

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ozymoron · 12 days

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dude its always "be yourself" till youre trans and now suddenly oh i get to nitpick every little thing about you oh that gesture was very feminine made you look like a girl oh youre wearing a shirt thats cream coloured? seems a little feminine to me oh you paint your nails? so youre a girl after all like ???? youre giving me mixed messages here am i meant to be myself or am i meant to conform to your idea of what a man is in order to be accepted as one by you

#⚠️#one time after i came out my mum saw me lounging around in a black t shirt and she was like oh it made you look like a man thinking it was #compliment but dude i got so mad i was like for fuck sake is that seriously what i have to do to be considered a man is lounge around in a #black t shirt??? lounging around is masculine???? what????????#i was also just a very angry person in general but still that really confuses me #had a psychiatrist note down shit about my appearance saying whether they thought it was feminine or masculine (they thought it was all #feminine) which was fucking crazy cause i went in for an adhd diagnosis #people just find out youre trans and suddenly start acting like experts on whats feminine and whats masculine and what makes you either #gender like shut the fuck up #can also come from people who they themselves accept some cis men are feminine and some cis women are masculine but suddenly as soon as you #try to transition now you have to be masculine or be feminine or youre not valid in their eyes #its fucking crazy #like if i showed them a dude with long hair theyd be like thats a dude with long hair but as soon as i have my hair long im told to cut it #i can show them a dude in a skirt and theyd probably laugh thinking its funny or some bullshit but theyd still think its a dude in a skirt #but if i wear a skirt suddenly im a girl #i know at the root of all this they truly believe people cant switch genders cause in their minds sex and gender is the same but still its #so annoying especially when they pretend to be accepting or think theyre being accepting and when you challenge them on their transphobia #they get all mad at you and act like youre being rude for criticizing them for doing the bare minimum whilst also just continuing to be #transphobic #like yeah you use my correct name but when im not around you use she/her for me and you say i **want** to be a boy instead of i am a boy bu #when i talk to you about this suddenly im the bad guy like its my fault youre using language for me thats transphobic #like ok man. whatever.#sorry for asking you to be a decent fucking human being toward me and treat me with respect #its like people just treat trans peoples gender like something they can just dismiss like its nothing liek we're just playing pretend or #something #like god its frustrating. i need to cut my mum out of my life fr

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onepiexe · 1 year

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fit 06: better man than you'll ever be you cis mf

#logbook #exe #yeah this fit was inspired by hating on a l*wes manager who i used to be on good terms with and then got in my face and ive hated him ever #since. and he wore caps backward a few times and also wore button up with a zip hoodie once so i was like.#im hot and a better man. take this :'l #too bad i didnt see him. but the security cameras and some employees got my swagger when i visited l*wes earlier so.#god every employee begged me to come back. even that supervisor who *totally* hates me. lol.#so glad i dont work there anymore but i miss everybody. apparently my name comes up every shift both in gc and in store???? 😭👈 bro

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apathyfairy · 1 year

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i spent 3 months watching gilmore girls and i finally finished it and a year in the life and then netflix is like hmm what should we recommend... gilmore girls season 1 episode 1 is starting in 3 seconds

#against my better judgement i watched a year in the life again and it was so much worse the second time. i only watched it when it first #came out and then forgot everything that happened because it was so bad it didnt even have to be that bad but it was so bad.#like this might be an unpopular opinion but god whenever they reboot shows or do like a reunion the magic from the original is just gone #that came out wrong i dont mean the original show loses it's magic but that the reboot is missing the thing that made the original special #like ok spoilers and also unpopular opinions but there was just like no chemistry between any of the cast anymore IMO. imo dont come for me #i have no idea what the actors were doing or what they had to move around to make cameos or whatever but just imo alexis was like on another #planet i have no idea why rory was like that. it was just so. routine and expected ? like they were acting how we would expect them to act #but it was just so insincere? i guess is the word #like season 7 sucked and we all know it but god season 7 was better than a year in the life in retrospect #the ONLY good thing about a year in the life is emilys story like good for her finally living her own life and finding what she loves #that makes sense and that all adds up like love that for her.#im biased because ive been a jess girl since i was 8 but jess. fantastic. sucks that he's still in love with rory but hes doing great fine #lane deserved more than that that was bullshit that she was there for 5 minutes and sookie too like #from what i remember melissa mccarthy couldnt be in it or didnt want to or i dont know but i didnt like that they essentially made sookie #abandon jackson and her kids idk.#christopher i dont care about but PARIS deserved more as well #dont get me started on the wild plot omg.#but that's another thing that ruins the reboots is they just try to add such topical references and it just ages so badly imo #and anyway im just so confused. rory is still sleeping with logan but she has a boyfriend whose name she cant remember but also #she's having one night stands at comic con ?#all for the show to end with SPOILER her saying she's pregnant ?#? ? ?#?#ok.#like. they ruined her character a long time ago but they just completely gave up in this.#lorelai is lorelai i expected nothing else so it was boring i just. think this was the wrong show to do a reunion with i dont know.#i didnt watch it but i think the friends thing is the best way to go where they dont make new episodes but just bring the cast back together #like it was so much better with us all just imagining luke and lorelai got married and had another kid and rory went on to be a journalist #and that was that but here we are

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bl00dw1tch · 1 year

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God. Overjoyed to be at a point in my life.

#horse.txt #thats it thats the post #not really but #i dunno. i dont wanna be messy but also im proud of myself its actually really nice #its 1 am which Isnt great bc it made me go browsing my blocked blogs to see where some mystery rbs are coming from #and i saw my exes blogs and ended up looking bc. shit happens its 1 am #but im happy bc for once doing so hasnt left me nauseous and shaking like a chihuahua afterwards #i used to get such bad anxiety shakes just thinking abt that mfers name man.... but now im just kind of. huh #2-3 years and you still haven't character developed at all huh. in fact youve active regressed! inchresting!#MAN i could say one more thing but i wont. too specific too much i think. but my god. the caucasity. ill leave it at that FSGCRHCFH

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buff-borf-bork · 5 months

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"while you were learning to create and deepen your human relationships, I was studying how to pull the threads of reality apart and rewrite them" - new oc thats about to live rent free in my mind

#its a god marysue #ill admit that #but i also dont care #and is she really a marysue if no one in the fiction likes her?#i enjoy making oc dolls that are deeply unlikeable women who cant make friends #she doesnt have a name yet but her origin story is that she was from one of those fics where kids would write #“and i woke up with all my best friends in our favourite fictional universe!!!” before we knew what dnd was #except she has the robinsons goob glasses on #and so automatically counting herself out with rejection sensitivity making things hurtful that wasnt intended by her friends #distances herself #and realizes hey we come from another world #one that kinda made this one #are things not more.... malleable here?#and spends time away to figure out who to rewrite and design and even au hop #YES IM INFLUENCED BY UT OKAY I WAS IN THAT FOR A LONG TIME #and comes back when one of her old friends have gotten sick #and she knows why #theyve also forgotten her or are more distant from her surprised to see her not because they were bad friends but her own distancing #self-fulfilling prophecy #anyways shes like hey i can help and saves the friends life by doing something weird #what she knows but the rest dont is she has just made that friend a proper piece of the story and narrative #healing and saving that friend but also taking away their ability to do the same as herself #because they all have the potential #and she becomes stronger for it #also maybe gets a little tattoo based on how many other people's creation abilities she's consumed #ANYWAYS----

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abyssalpriest · 10 months

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22y/o me's "i really want to take some sunflowers down to the ocean for (the Storm Mother) to apologise for everything I've ever done because she hates me and I'm disgusting and I just want her to be ok... I'm not supposed to go near sunflowers bc they're related to her but I just want to apologise and make it right and nothing else ive done has succeeded in that" vs 26y/o me's "I want to buy sunflowers for myself because I deserve it and they remind me of her but fuck it, mine now, and I want to visit the ocean w Storm Mom for fun and spiritual purposes bc we're close and she never hated me, I don't even need to think about that" fight

#ramblings //#man i really cannot put into words the weight of being drawn to someone but for basically 5 years youre made to feel like even thinking #about them or saying their name in your head is bothering them. and they hate you and think youre disgusting because...#you made comments about a video game character being attractive.... and she never apparently forgives you no matter what #and the same people who are telling you this are like ''oh im so sorry i mean i kinda understand where you were coming from but #you were kinda gross about it'' like. hearing ''yeah she still really doesnt want anything to do with us because you were gross and shes #way above you and a god and you just really fucked it up'' every time i even thought her name... that wasnt even her name come to find out.#To not even be able to THINK of her in my own head because that was a transgression and she could hear it so if i ever did it accidentally #i was just being bad again and hurting her again and again and again. my very thoughts themselves against me.#it was a harsh 5 years but anyway im just really thankful that. hey whats up storm mom youre chill af and we get along great #and now i see why they were obsessed w making sure i didnt connect with you bc like #partially you saved my life lmfao #storm mother //#and a lot to be said about how we just could never get in contact for Some Reason with (their code word for Leviathan & Hermes)#(as well as others but) like.... for some reason my ex had such Deep Knowledge of his cult shit but couldnt get into contact #with Leviathan or the Storm Mother or Hermes around me............................................ weird.........................#almost like when they saw what my ex was doing and saying about them they would realise shit was severely wrong..........#diary //

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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heya, i have to wake up in three hours but! here's another lil human au snippet! ft. lightly implied Laughingstock! disclaimer i am so so tired so don't come at me for typos or strangely worded sentences or missing info <3

Before heading home, Eddie swings by a charming little store he’s been to once or twice before. He usually goes to the chain store by his house, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the hustle and bustle and the endless aisles. This little store is quiet, nice, and strangely has everything anyone could need.

The lot is mostly empty at this hour, so Eddie claims a spot right at the front. As with the other times, the windows are littered with displays and stickers - half off on this, sale on that. Eddie enters Howdy’s Place with the chime of the door’s shopkeeper’s bell. He’ll get what he needs and get out, quick and easy and peacefu-

Boisterous laughter slams into Eddie like a hammer, so sudden that he jumps in place. An employee stocking cans nearby glances weirdly at him. Eddie clears his throat and hurries into the nearest aisle as the laughter tapers off. The silence barely lasts a second before loud chatter starts up. It’s too fast and muffled for Eddie to understand, but he can pick out two distinct voices - one deep, one less so but still decidedly masculine.

Eddie tries to tune it out as he gathers what he needs. Toothpaste, some paper towels, shampoo. For the hell of it, he nabs a box of classic bran muffins from the spacious food section. He lingers for a moment, enjoying how far-away the conversation seems at the other corner of the store. Unfortunately, theft is illegal, so Eddie is forced to move towards the noise.

A strange thing about the store - it’s a combination general store, antique shop, and diner, complete with a miniature gift shop separating the two. One long checkout counter stretches from the open store area, behind the gift shop, and into the diner, where the conversation is coming from. An interesting setup, but an understandable one. It allows anyone behind the counter to move fluidly between customers and sections.

As Eddie approaches, the conversation becomes slightly clearer.

“-said, no wonder you didn’t get her number!” the deeper voice barks, and the two dissolve into that almost-too-loud laughter again.

As it tapers off, the other voice says, “Sounds like a real charmer! But really, you oughta be careful, Barn. One of these days someone’s gonna throw a right hook at ya.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. A transatlantic accent? He hasn’t heard that anywhere outside of real old movies and a queen he once knew. It sounds natural too, like the man was born to sound like he belongs on a 1920s radio show. It nudges something in the back of Eddie’s mind. He’s started to get really sick of that nudge.

“Oh, this guy did.”

“No kidding? I don’t see a shiner.”

“Well, yeah. I went left.”

Both of them laugh again, and Eddie feels a tiny tug at the corner of his mouth. That wasn’t funny enough to garner an actual laugh in his opinion, but it wasn’t unfunny.

Eddie steps up to the counter and quietly puts his acquired items on it, not wanting to interrupt. He chances a glance to the side - walking space in front of the counter’s length lets him see right down into the diner.

A large man with dyed-blue hair and an interesting fashion sense is at the bar, talking to an employee leaning against the other side. The employee doesn’t really catch Eddie’s gaze, but the other man… Eddie swears he’s seen him before. He studies him from the corner of his eye, not wanting to be rude but unable to mind his business.

“Our bouncer didn’t even get a chance at the action - the idiot knocked himself out tryin’ a second swing!” The customer says. His deep voice, wavering with humor, only adds to the sense of familiarity. Metal glints in his right ear. Eddie knows this man from somewhere.

The employee shakes his head, tutting. His busy hands polish a vintage pitcher. “I swear, you get all the crazies.”

“Makes for a good story, though.” The customer takes a sip from his tall milkshake and scoffs. “Though if it wasn’t all well-ending, amusing bull, I doubt I’d be so tolerant.”

Minutes drag by as the two keep talking. Eddie goes from patiently waiting to awkwardly trying to get the employees attention. If only there was someone else behind the counter, but the only other staff member is elsewhere, likely still stocking shelves.

The two men are too absorbed in their little world, even though both are facing Eddie’s way. The customer has both elbows on the counter, one of them bent to prop up his chin. The employee has his hip leaned against the edge as they chat. They’re obviously very familiar with each other, and clearly deeply enjoy each other's company.

Still - and Eddie is sorry to say, but it’s bad customer service. He’s not in a rush, but he’d still like to be on his way home. He could be fishing out the complex keys right now. He checks his phone - he’s been here for nearly fifteen minutes. Picking out the items took less than five.

Eddie sighs, staring at the various cigarette packs displayed behind the counter. He’s never seen the appeal in smoking, but as the laughter starts up again, he almost wishes he did. He’s going to treat himself to a very long shower once he gets home.

The store’s other employee walks behind the counter, carrying a box. Eddie lights up. Finally - she pointedly clears her throat and heads into the back.

The constant conversation stalls for the barest moment, and he looks over. The customer grins at him for a second - lord he’s handsome - before turning that grin towards his friend.

“You’re losin’ your touch, Howds,” he teases, bringing his shake straw to his lips.

“I resent that statement. You’re just distracting.”

“Lil’ me? Distracting? C’mon, you can just tell me I’m pretty to my face. I’ll take it like a champ, I swear!”

“Ha, good try.” The employee sets the pitcher down and starts to mosey in Eddie’s direction. “Your ego is big enough for the both of us as is. One more compliment and your head’ll pop like a balloon.”

“Well, given that most balloons don’t really pop, they just kinda deflate slowly-”

“Sorry for the wait!” the employee says loudly in a glaringly obvious customer service tone. He stops in front of Eddie with a cardboard smile. At the other end of the counter, the familiar man snickers and hides his grin behind his drink. “I trust you found everything you did - and didn’t! - need.”

Eddie just stares up at him for a moment. At six-one, Eddie hasn’t felt small in a very long time. He usually stands at least a full inch above other people. This employee - Howdy, his name tag states - has several more on him.

“Uh, y-yes, I uh, I did,” Eddie stammers, glancing at his items.

“Wonderful! And again, my sincerest apologies for the delay. My friend makes a game out of keeping me from my job.” Howdy shoots his ‘friend’ a glare with enough heat in it to make an ice cube sweat.

“No worries.”

Howdy scans the items at an almost frightening speed. Beep, into a paper bag. Beep, in. Beep, beep - “Oh, no.”

“What?” Eddie says, dread plucking at his ribs as Howdy holds the bran muffins and shakes his head. “Is there somethin’ wrong?”

“Indeed there is! You’re making a mistake with these. They’re absolutely horrible, I tell ya - and bad for you, too!” Howdy tuts and puts the box to the side. “No, no, you don’t want those.”

“I… don’t?”

“Not if you knew better! Lucky for you, I’m here to set you straight. What you need is-” he snaps his fingers, “Barnaby, be a pal and-”

“Already on it,” ‘Barnaby’ says, appearing next to Eddie.

If Eddie weren’t already paralyzed, he’d jump right out of his skin from how Barnaby towers over him. He has to be a scant inch or so shorter than Howdy, but he still makes Eddie feel tiny. Unfortunately, Barnaby is even more handsome up close.

“Here ya go.” Barnaby hands a plastic container to Howdy and taps it, smiling lazily down at Eddie. “I’d take his advice on this one. Those bran-named muffins may sound fancy, but they’re pretty crumby! You want muffins of quality. Real breadwinners!

Eddie can’t help a soft laugh. “Breadwinners, heh, that’s a good one.”

“Are you selling these or am I?” Howdy says, raising a bushy eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m just doin’ what you asked! I’m bein’ a pal.”

“And I - I’m sorry," Eddie interjects, "but you’re awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”

“Eh, I’ve been around, but uh… you ever been to [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE]?”

Howdy clears his throat. “I’m trying to make a sale here, Barn. You can flirt on your own dime when you’re not costing me mine.”

“Didja know your nose gets redder when you’re jealous?”

Howdy rolls his eyes and shoves Barnaby in the diner’s direction. Barnaby goes with a hearty snicker. Despite the joke, Eddie thinks it has some merit as Howdy scans the final item and rings him up, considerably frostier than before.

Belatedly, Eddie realizes that he didn’t actually agree to the different muffins. Too late now. “Say, what kind of muffins are those?”

“Poppyseed-lemon.”

Eddie relaxes - that is a lot better than boring bran. “Y’know, my mother loved poppyseed-lemon muffins.”

“Did she now,” Howdy drawls.

“Like you wouldn’t believe! If baking was so much as mentioned, she’d jump right on houndin’ us to whip some up for her, or send us to go buy some. We’d never even get a taste! They’d be gone the moment they hit the air, I tell ya.” Eddie chuckles. “Took me a while to understand what all the fuss is about, but man was she right. They are good!”

“Uh-huh. Well, we have a fresh batch delivered every morning. They’re not the same type every time, mind you, but I can promise that they’re all of the highest quality.”

“Breadwinners, right?” Eddie jokes. Howdy doesn’t blink, but Barnaby snorts. He’ll take it. “I might have to come by more often, if that’s the case! Thank you kindly, sir.”

“Mhm, have a good day.” Howdy hands him the bag and strides away without a glance. The dismissal is clear as day. “Say, Barn, did you hear about the racket one of those cult crackpots stirred up at our dear friend’s tearoom?”

Eddie doesn’t catch the tail-end of the sentence as he hurries away, but he frowns. Cult? What cult? There’s a cult? He certainly didn’t hear of one before moving here, and none of his background checks had turned up anything of the sort. He hopes it was just a figure of speech.

The door chimes again as Eddie leaves. It isn’t until he’s in his car that the embarrassment of that whole exchange catches up with him. If he had a nickel for every time he’d made a fool of himself in front of a gorgeous, strangely familiar man, he’d have three nickels. At the rate he’s going, he’ll either be rich, or he’ll have to move.

Eddie subtly tries to peek around the store’s window displays from the safety of his car. He catches a scant glimpse of blue hair - come to think of it, it’s a similar shade to Wally’s. But where Wally’s had, to Eddie’s memory, been uniformly dyed right down to his eyebrows, Barnaby’s rich brown roots were obvious. His beard and eyebrows weren’t dyed, either.

As Eddie relaxes back into his seat, he re-reads at the store’s name. The color drains from his face and he barely restrains himself from slamming his forehead against the steering wheel.

Oh, of course. Of course he made a fool of himself in front of the owner. Eddie can never come back here again. And it was such a nice store…

#wait wym this is almost 2k words what the Fuck!#ok! the writing gods blessed me tonight i guess!#anyway slight context -#in my mind there's a whole Plot and stuff for this au #where it starts off with eddie running into The Group™️ and meeting them mostly separately #before they all meet up and go 'hey yeah you guys ran into eddie from high school too? cool. he's ours now'#and forcibly drag eddie into their little Circle #wh modern human au #snippets from the bog #also sorry about the [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE] lmfao i cant come up with one atm #i want it to be wh-related and Clever #but i am not very clever on a good day and this has been a bad one! and again! im tired!#i. dont know how to tag this. whatever! if you see it you see it!#ok im going to sleep. for a whopping three hours before my alarm goes off. *less than three. Sigh.#i always do this! its like 'oh i have to wake up early tomorrow! lets not sleep at all! im feeling so creative!'#gonna go think about this au's laughingstock as i drift to sleep #FOR THREE. HOURS.#have i mentioned the three hours????

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