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cold-kitty · 1 month

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Today's poll winner was... Yandere Neuvillette! (HAPPY ASS SQUEALING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH)

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DISCLAIMER: I only know a little about him, I only just started Fontaine, so sorry if anything is super wrong.

Contains: Thoughts of kidnapping, slight depression for Neuvillette, angsty (if you squint), actual love <3

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Yan!Neuvillette is definitely a guilty yandere, he hates that he's like this.

Yan!Neuvillette had someone find him an office helper, someone to tidy a bit, help with cases possibly, maybe get him some water here and there. and that's all you were for a while.

Yan!Neuvillette who finds himself drawn to you, catching himself stealing a glance every now and then.

Yan!Neuvillette who at first thinks that he just likes you, might as well like each other if you work together after all. but he finds his chest swelling every time he looks at you, a lovely yet almost painful feeling.

Yan!Neuvillette who is much happier when you're around him, it's almost always a sunny day.

Yan!Neuvillette who finds himself jealous when you're around other people, especially if you're laughing or touching them.

Yan!Neuvillette who finds himself dreaming about having you all to himself, keeping you in a lavish room...

Yan!Neuvillette who wakes up in a cold sweat, disgusted with himself. he avoids you at work, it was cloudy that day.

Yan!Neuvillette who doesn't see you at work the next day, and he starts to feel guilty. did you feel bad because he avoided you? were you sick? it was extra cloudy that day.

Yan!Neuvillette who doesn't see you the next day either. he spends that day crying at his desk, wondering if it's his fault. it was rainy that day.

Yan!Neuvillette who ends up sobbing the next day, getting absolutely no work done. the town was under flood warning that day.

Yan!Neuvillette who prepares himself for another crying session the next day only to see you waiting in his office. he lunges at you, quite literally, and almost falls to his feet as he squeezes you into a desperate hug.

Yan!Neuvillette who feels a mix of great relief when you tell him that you were just sick, watching as you try to awkwardly return the hug. he tells you that he'll make you soup the next time you get sick, so just tell him.

Yan!Neuvillette who wants nothing more than to hold you like this all day, and he sort of does, making sure he's near you at all times. it was dribbling slightly that day, but it was extremely sunny. his chest was full of that swelling feeling, that lovely, painful feeling of love all day.

Yan!Neuvillette who watches as you excitedly point out the window, confused at first, but then he sees...

a rainbow as beautiful as you.

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SCREAMING CRYING PISSING MYSELF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

I definitely spent a lot of time on this one, (I am delusional and I have an actually unhealthy obsession with him) so I hope it was good!

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RANDOM BUT LOOK AT MY DOOR

ITS NEUVIEEEEEE (send help)

~🐈‍⬛

#yandere x reader #yandere x male darling #yandere x you #yandere #yandere neuvillette

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beykhabarr · 2 years

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I am so angry

#its always my responsibility if something goes wrong #im the easiest person to put the blame on if anything isint goinf well #my mom and my brother both of them just #always immediately point fingers at me if my dad is reprimanding us about something #and then for the next several days i feel like its me against thr three of them #and even when i know its not my fault entirely i just feel so sorry and guilty and sad and pathetic #they talk about me infronf of me as if im nof fhere #and i just #god #i kept increasining the volume so that it would blurr out their noices and the way they take my name with that jeering tone im god okay now #im crying lmao #i keep telling myself to not let them get to to me that the nect 10 dahs are very important and i absolutely cannot lst them mess wifh my #head but god #now here i am crying in the bathroom #and im gonna go out anf then they are gonna look at me with that distant hateful glance as i am not their own and just someone using up all #theor resoirces in vain and doesn't #god its fine #lmao its okau

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slonechnik · 2 years

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ahhh

#riemblings #could've been a crab could've been a fucking amoeba but nooo #had to have opposable thumbs and self awareness literally just off me #feeling absolutely joyless today and actually kind of exhausted with the general state of my life #and that i know exactly what to do to make it somewhat manageable and yet having no energy to do it #prisoner in my own fucking body absolutely fucking disgusting #i hate it i hate that i dont know how to stop it how to start feeling even remotely normal again why cant i just fucking get up and do shit #and complaining abt it is just so humiliating here i am a fucking useless lazy loser complaining abt my shitty life like its not my fault #my doing.#magical thinking trying to wish myself into better life why cant i just move and do shit why am i constantly so fucking paralyzed #what am i even fucking scared of #wish someone just took the choice out of my hands i dont even deserve free will

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xiexiecaptain · 1 year

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The biggest thing I've learned to help manage my ADHD in regards to getting things done is to Follow Those Impulses

(I'm not saying this will work for or is even a good strategy for everyone, but in my own situation it's helped me.)

I'm like allergic to consistency in schedule and cannot enforce one on myself so all it leads to is self-loathing and failure. Trust me, I've been attempting to will-power, shame-fuel my way through it since I was a preteen (I'm currently almost 30.) It does not work for me.

Obviously medication can give me a huge leg up on stuff. But beyond a certain point my brain is simply not wired for long-term sustained consistency.

As in many of my issues, I've found that working with myself gets better results than fighting myself.

When I follow those sudden impulses of interest and motivation, I get things done.

To the outside, I look absolutely haphazard. I'll pause a show I'm watching mid-sentence, stand up, and go empty the dishwasher because my mood/brain/chemicals *ping*ed that it was suddenly do-able and not a huge overwhelming task. Or I'll be putting away laundry and that *ping* will go off and I'll spend three hours re-organizing my closet.

To a neurotypical, this looks like distracted and disorganized behavior.

To me, it's following the way my brain naturally works in order to accomplish tasks.

My ADHD manifests in that I experience very small and unsustainable windows of motivation and interest. So when I feel that window crack open, doing the Thing right then (when the situation enables me to) can mean the Thing actually happens. Even if it's not the thing I'm "supposed" to be doing.

With a neurotypical in that situation, they might be putting away clothes and think: "Oh, I should organize my closet. I have time this weekend, I'll do it then," finish putting away their clothes, and then organize the closet when they had free time that weekend.

I used to try to do things that way too. Because it was how I was taught that "responsible, real people" did it, and had "finish one thing before you start another" drilled into my head. But I'm literally not wired to work that way. And I've been working on undoing that internalized ableism of believing one way of doing things is better and I need to change to adhere to it. I don't and shouldn't be expected to to my own detriment.

For me with the closet example, the weekend would come and I would spend 5 hours screaming at myself to stop working on whatever did have my interest in order to go organize the closet. Sometimes I might ended up doing it. More often, I would not be able get myself to do it even after all that. I would just sit there, yelling at myself, hating myself despite my brain literally not having the chemicals to initiate the activity (let alone follow through) and nothing would get done. Not even the thing I wanted to focus on instead.

The only thing I did accomplish was hating myself for not being able to do "simple" things like other people (read: neurotypicals.)

This is basically how I spent the majority of my schooling; doing simple tasks felt like running in sand. And I internalized all the messages that told me it was my own fault I couldn't run as fast and in as straight a line as those running on pavement.

The past few years, I've been trying to follow impulses more. And its honestly been really helpful.

I get more done even if it isn't a "consistent" amount or I can't always count on having a specific thing done by a certain date.

But the big thing is that I spend less time hating myself for not doing what I "should" be and more time actually doing things when I have the motivation for them. More shit happens, I'm undoing some of that self-loathing.

tl;dr: My advice for fellow adult ADHD-ers is:

Try to learn what your natural rhythms are and, where possible, try leaning into them. Without judgement, try working with your natural tendencies rather than battling them at every moment. See how it feels, see what you accomplish (and not just in the capitalistic "productivity" way--spending 3 hours hyperfocusing on researching the history of wheat germ counts!) See how your brain and body feel.

Your brain is wired different, let yourself operate different.

#adhd #add #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #adult adhd #adhd inattentive #adhd tips #adhd acceptance #original posts

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ivyangels-blog · 4 months

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Brother's Ex-Best Friend

Summary: After watching Hawk break your brother's arm, you have trouble trusting him again.

A/n: I've discovered I enjoy writing hawk angst, so now you all must suffer

Warnings: violence, angst, injury and a rushed ending

I only got into karate because of my brother. I agreed that it might be good to learn to defend ourselves. I had no idea that it would increase the odds of us needing to tenfold.

Now I'm hiding in the corner of the laster tag place downtown, watching the boy who used to be my best friend, who I used to believe I was in love with, beat my brother to a pulp.

He pins Demetri to the ground, grabbing his arm and tugging it back.

"Finish him!" the other Cobra Kai's shout.

"Demetri!" I jump up from my hiding spot, rushing towards them.

Demetri is trying to reason with him. "Eli, Eli, it's me," he cries.

The other Cobra Kai's are shouting over him.

"Stop!" I cry, running towards them.

Eli looks up at me, but I realize that it's no longer him. The Eli I knew was kind and loyal. The person staring over at me is the complete opposite. His stone cold face is filled with nothing but hatred.

I watch in horror, as Hawk jerks my brother's arm, bending it backwards.

The crack echoes in my ears, only drowned out by the sound of my brother's scream.

"Demetri!" I drop to the ground beside him.

The other Cobra Kai's are already turning and leaving.

"It's okay," I mumble. "It's gonna be okay."

I look up to see Hawk still staring down at us.

"Just go!" I shout at him, tears spilling past my cheeks at having to listen to Demetri's whimpers.

I reach into my pocket, digging out my phone and calling 911.

By the time I've finished explaining the situation to the operator, Hawk is gone.

Time Skip

I wasn't able to forgive Hawk as easily as my brother did. I guess guys have a different sort of resolution to their fights. One second they hated each other, the next it was like a switch was flipped and they were best friends again.

I wasn't won over so easily, but maybe it has to do with the fact that I've barely talked to Hawk since he left Cobra Kai. Every time he comes over to hang out with Demetri, I find something to do elsewhere.

It's not until I absolutely have to, that I talk to Hawk again.

I was at work at the library where I intern. I was in charge of closing and I guess my boss didn't care if it was a sixteen year old all alone at night.

I should've locked the door after my coworker left, but I forgot.

It's my fault really.

I was shelving my last stack of books when I heard the bell of the front door.

"We're closed," I say, slipping another book into its spot.

"You hear that boys?" Kyler's voice makes my heart drop. "We got the whole place to ourselves."

A group of Cobra Kais appears in the middle of the library, about five boys.

One of them catches sight of me from my spot beside the bookshelf.

I drop the books in my hands, sprinting towards the back of the building.

Their shouts cut through the air behind me and I hear the pounding of their feet in pursuit.

I sprint down the back hallway, locking myself into the librarian's office.

The boys must not have seen where I went, because I hear them opening and closing other doors in the hallway.

I reach into my back pocket for my phone, but it's not there.

I must have left it by the front desk.

Frantically looking around, I spot the landline sitting on the desk.

I rush over to it and dial my home phone number, but no one picks up.

"Shit," I whisper, dialing Demetri next.

He doesn't answer either. My hands are shaking and my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

I try the only other number I have memorized: Eli's.

I press the numbers as fast as I can, forcing myself to take deep breaths. The door knob starts to jiggle, as I place the phone to my ear.

"Hey guys, I think she's in here!"

I press a shaky hand to my mouth, to hold back my gasp.

The phone rings...

and rings...

and

Please leave a message after the tone.

"Dammit," I mumble.

The door crashes open and I scream, dropping the phone so it dangles beside the desk by its wire.

"Looks like we've got you cornered now," one of the boys says.

I turn around, grabbing one of the books off the side table and holding it in front of me.

Kyler laughs and the others join in. "What are you gonna do?" he asks. "Smack some knowledge into me? You're such a nerd, working at the library. That's just sad."

"What do you want?" I ask.

"We just want to have a little fun. Don't we?" Kyler turns to the guys he's with and they all smirk and nod in agreement.

One by one, they're stepping closer to me. A blonde on my left is getting especially too close and I decide it's time to make my move.

I crash the book down over his head, bolting past him and around the desk.

The boys all shout in response and grab me before I can make it past the exit.

Their hands wrap around my arms, holding me in place.

I jerk and pull against their grasp, but can't manage to break free.

"You want the first shot, Andrew?" The boys turn to the blonde guy I just attacked, who's rubbing the top of his head.

"Hell yeah." He comes over to me and I start to tug harder against the hands holding me back.

"Let me go!" I shout, just to be silenced with a punch across the face.

The boys all cheer, as the left side of my face throbs.

Before I can look back, another punch is being delivered to my stomach.

It goes on like that, them taking turns hitting me until I'm gasping for breath.

Another kick is delivered to my stomach and its like I can barely feel it anymore.

"That should teach them not to pick a fight with us and not see it through," Kyler spits.

The arms around me loosen and I stumble without them holding me up.

"Let's get out of here." The boys file past me out the door, as I drop down onto the ground.

I lean my back up against the wall, struggling to catch my breath, wincing with each gulp of air.

I tell myself that I'll just sit for a little while and then I'll grab my things and go home, but I doubt I'll be able to make the walk in my condition. My vision is starting to go spotty and I’m worried I might pass out.

"Y/n? Y/n? Are you here?" The voice echoing through the halls pulls me to attention.

"Hawk?" I respond.

Before I can even sit up, he comes rushing through the door, dropping to his knees beside me.

"Jesus," he murmurs, looking at me with wide eyes.

"You came?" I whisper, not believing it to be true.

"Of course I did, I got your call. Are you okay?"

I nod, sitting up. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Here." Hawk lifts my arm, pulling it over his shoulder and lifting me up. "I'll drive you home."

We stop to grab my stuff and he helps me all the way out to his car.

I finally relax once we're on our way back to my house, letting my head fall against the head rest.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after 11:00."

I sigh. "My whole family's gonna be asleep by now. I really don’t want to wake them up to this."

"You still keep your window unlocked?" Hawk asks.

"You remember that?" I ask.

"How could I forget? I spent too many nights sneaking in to hang out when you were grounded."

"God, only we were lame enough to have to sneak around just to stay home all night."

Hawk chuckles.

We pull into my driveway and Hawk hops out of the car, coming over to my side to help me.

With his support, I walk around to the back of the house, pausing below my window.

Hawk steps forward and pushes it open, turning to me and offering his intertwined hands as a platform to boost me up.

I grasp onto the windowsill and, since my bedroom's on the first floor, slip in easily.

Hawk comes in behind me and goes straight to my bathroom.

I move to sit on my bed, assuming he might just have to go, but he comes back out with a washcloth in hand.

"Can I?" he asks, approaching me.

I’m surprised by how much he cares, but nod and he presses the cool cloth to my face.

"It looks like they didn't get you too bad," he says.

Without saying anything, I reach to lift up my shirt, revealing the bruises on my stomach.

I haven't looked at them, yet, and the mixture of purple and yellow painting my skin looks worse than I could have imagined.

I turn my gaze up to see Hawk's reaction. His face is in a scowl, his nostrils flaring, as his grip on the washcloth tightens.

I'm once again reminded of why I'm so afraid of him.

"I can't believe that they ambushed you five to one," Hawk says. "Those cowards can't even make it a fair fight."

"How'd you know there were five of them," I ask.

Hawk goes back to pressing the washcloth on my cheek. "I saw them leaving when I got there."

"And you didn't stop to fight them?" I ask, confused.

Hawk furrows his brows. "No, I had to make sure you were okay."

I feel myself start to smile, because that's exactly something Eli would do.

"Let me go grab an ice pack," he pops up from the bed and leaves the room.

I take the opportunity while he's gone to change out of my jeans and blouse into loose fitting shorts and a t-shirt.

Hawk comes back from his mission, ice pack in hand, as well as a bottle of ibuprofen.

I take both, gratefully.

Hawk sits beside me on the edge of my bed, while I try and situate the ice pack on my stomach.

I can’t help but wince at the contact.

“They’re gonna fucking pay,” Hawk says.

“I’ll be fine,” I say. “Please, just leave them be.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Hawk jumps up from the bed, waving his hands and turning toward me.

The action causes me to flinch backwards, closing my eyes and putting my head down.

It’s the briefest of movements but when I look back up Hawk is staring down at me with his mouth slightly agape.

“Are you scared of me?” he asks, his voice no louder than a whisper. Almost like he doesn’t want to speak it into existence, like he can’t believe it might be true.

I shake my head, not wanting to get into it right now. “I’m just jumpy cause of everything that happened tonight.”

Hawk rolls his eyes with a shake of his head. “You forget I can always tell when you’re lying. Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“You broke Demetri’s arm. Demetri may be able to forget that, but I can’t. You were awful.”

Hawk’s face falls and he drops his head, avoiding eye contact.

“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m so sorry. If you’re okay, I’ll go.” He turns to head to the window. I should let him, but something about the way his head hangs low and how he refuses to meet my eye reminds me of Eli.

“Wait,” I find myself saying.

Hawk pauses and looks at me expectantly.

“You can stay,” I whisper.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

I nod. “Like old times.” I sit back on the bed, pulling my laptop up to find the Marvel movies we always watched together.

Hawk slowly sits down on the far side of my bed, putting plenty of space between us.

“You’re not going to be able to see it over there.” I slide next to him.

We sit in silence for awhile, eyes on my laptop screen. It’s not long before I start to feel tired, my head drops slightly, resting on his shoulder.

I feel Hawk tense a little at the contact and my head jerks back up with an apology.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind,” Hawk says and I rest my head against him once more.

I fall asleep like that, my head on his shoulder and when I wake up in the morning my face is planted on his chest.

I rub my eyes, sitting up and the movement causes Hawk to stir beneath me.

“Sorry for falling asleep,” I whisper.

He shakes his head. “Don’t be. It was nice to hang out like we used to. I missed you.”

His words make me pause. “I missed you, too.”

We sit like that, me leaning over him staring into each others eyes until Hawk breaks the silence.

“Uh, how are you feeling?” he asks.

“Sore,” I reply, “But I’ll be okay.”

“Thank you,” I add. “For coming.”

“I’ll always come get you, y/n.” Hawk’s eyes meet mine again and I can’t help, but feel drawn toward him.

His hand reaches up to brush the side of my face.

My heartbeat is fluttering, my mind is on overdrive trying to process what’s happening.

And then he kisses me, and it’s like the whole world goes still.

When we finally pull away both of us are smiling.

“I love you,” Hawk says. “I’ve loved you since we were kids and I need you to know it.”

His confession leaves me stunned, but my answer is easy. “I love you, too.”

Even though I’ve had my reservations about him recently I know it’s true. I realized it last night. I love the boy sitting across from me, Hawk and Eli alike.

#cobra kai fanfic #hawk cobra kai #cobra kai #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz #hawk fanfic #hawk x reader

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