beykhabarr

[beykhabarr]

In the midst of watching veer-zaara for the first time and keeping aside all the heartbreak, yearning aside...it's so funny that veer narrates his love for zaara like an actual decent tale and then there's Zaara's version of love for him which is just a wet dream about her being ravaged by SRK....like that's sooo funny girlll but then againnn SAMEEE!! IT'S SRK.

#im going to uninstall tumblr but this post lmaooo #srk tag

[beykhabarr]

Is adoginthemanger okay?

who?

[beykhabarr]

When will my favourite person be online :(

[beykhabarr]

THIS GUY IS HE IS SO AH

#HE UNDERSTANDS ME OK #NO SURFACE LEVEL HE GETS ME

[beykhabarr]

Sir you've to give me a lot more than just a hey

[beykhabarr]

oh srry i didnt know you had a gf already

Hdhsjs it's finee

[beykhabarr]

Someone is in love😏

I literally don't shut up about my girlfriend T_T

NO HE'S A FRIEND

[beykhabarr]

Is it weird that I kinda wait for his notification now

[beykhabarr]

HE IS VERY CUTE 

[beykhabarr]

This guy is SO adorable aaaaaaa

[beykhabarr]

My toxic trait is that I ardently believe that when someone says something mean when they're angry and later try to undo it by saying that they 'didn't mean it and only said it because they were angry' they absolutely did mean it, and were thinking about that said sentence for a long time. Anger doesn't give you ideas, it just removes your filters. People think 'I take it back' fixes things, no it doesn't.

[beykhabarr]

I havent been here in a long time but i dont know where to put my thoughts update on life is that i am repulsed at the thought of intimacy and at the thought of someone depending on me for anything because its unfair that i cant depend on anyone like that. I am repulsed at the thought of contact but arghhhhhhhh in the early hours of the morning i justtt waaant to be helddddd for someone to wait for me to wake up, for innocent touch innocent touch shy glances FUCKING HELL. Innocent unintentional grazing of hand only grazing because if you hold it i will run away.

#sigh

[beykhabarr]

#i will click pictures like this with my girl someday

[beykhabarr]

not me realizing that the only way to not get continually hurt is it stop caring and detach to save me from me because i am incapable of normal connections.

[beykhabarr]

guess who for a second forgot that i am incapable of having normal connections and every single change hurts me more than the normal amount

#sigh #i dont want to be like this #i promise

[beykhabarr]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IMAGINE HAVING A RELATIVELY GOOD FEELY AND PEACEFUL DAY AND THEN TUMBLR EXPLORE PAGE SHOVES OLD POSTS THAT I WANT TO FORGET EXIST IN MY FACE AND SUDDENLY MY STOMACH IS IN A PIT

#i hate tumblr i came back after literally days and this is how you repay my loyalty? wow #update um the post actually stares at me the moment i open tumblr and contrary to popular beleif it hurts despite the amout of time that #has passed

[beykhabarr]

There is an undeniable probability that i am nothing more than a void that keeps growing, yet what i want hasnt expanded, there's a possibility that i have an insatiable desire to feel loved and cared for. All i wanted was for someone to want to know, what, where how I was, to ask, to want to ask, to want to care. To care like there's no alternative, but to be present with love, and not as an obligation. For someone to sit with me as the silence of the night gnaws on my bones, where any distraction feels welcome, any friendly word, interaction a gift sent from heavens. I wonder why i wanted those things for myself, its been hours and i cant stop thinking, i want those things for myself because they are things I so easily give. I realized above all that what I wanted was to be loved by myself, to be loved the way that I love. The love i give is the love I want to receive, anything less leaves me feeling unfulfilled, anything that doesn't match the energy that I put in feels unfullfilling. In a way that makes me vain, and selfish and all other bad things, but I cant help but feel this way, even when i know its wrong.