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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

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Has Tim ever put Dick on a pedestal?

100% yes! This is basically Tim's backstory IMO. Prior to meeting Dick in Lonely Place of Dying, Tim's a kid who's got a distant, idealized, made-for-TV vision of Dick and Bruce - mostly Dick - and he sets out on a quest based entirely around that misperception.

Aaaand then he immediately crashes headfirst into reality, because the Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne he remembers from his childhood memories and daydreams are like this:

But it turns out that the actual real-life human people are a bit more, uh, cranky than Tim's glossy vision - things are tense and neither of them are super-happy to meet Tim:

And Tim has to rethink a bunch of his mistaken deductions as it slowly dawns on him that - far from being a plucky team - Dick and Bruce are actually not getting along at all:

And so Tim has to realize his whole plan of "Dick has to be Robin again!!! That will fix everything!!! :)))))" was actually wrong, and based on a misunderstanding of Bruce and Dick's relationship. And having realized he was wrong, he immediately sets about trying to figure out what he’s failed to understand in the most intrusive way possible—by asking lots of nosy questions!

Actually-meeting-Dick is basically the end of Tim’s super-idealized vision of Dick. It's not a vision that can survive contact with an actual human being who's snapping at you. And kid!Tim is (I love him but) extremely pushy and annoying, and Dick's a prickly young adult who is not above getting annoyed, which means Dick snaps at him pretty regularly.

But Tim does continue to admire him.

So for their various interactions after Lonely Place of Dying, IMO "does Tim have Dick on a pedestal" is kind of a judgment call based on your assessment of Dick's relative strengths/virtues. What's unambiguous: Tim has a consistently higher opinion of Dick than Dick does of Dick, and they argue about it a lot.

I had way too many thoughts about this, so below the cut:

Comics where Dick and Tim have conversations along the lines of Dick: "I suck and I'm failing at everything." Tim: "That's not true!! Actually you're great and you're succeeding at the thing you think you're failing at!!"

So who's right - Dick or Tim?

Dick and Tim's high opinions/expectations of each other: the plusses and minuses

Comic examples

Here are a couple different variations on Tim thinking that Dick is great (often when Dick's less sure):

in Showcase, Tim thinks that Dick’s a way better teammate than Azrael, even as Dick’s thinking himself as a failure who let the Titans down;

in Prodigal, Dick tells Tim a story about confronting Two-Face which to Dick symbolizes a moment of great failure and which Tim insists was a no-win situation where Dick did the best he could;

also in Prodigal, Dick’s despairing over how badly he thinks their encounter with Killer Croc went and meanwhile Tim thinks it went fine (after all, Dick listened to him and called an ambulance instead of beating up Croc!), and Tim tells Dick to lighten up and Dick talks about how he’s a failure;

in Nightwing 6, Dick thinks he’s doing badly in Blüdhaven and he’s self-conscious about it and paranoid about what Tim might tell Bruce, and Tim insists that the fact that Dick’s being targeted means he’s succeeding and getting close instead of failing, and Dick retorts that this won’t be comforting if he winds up dead because getting close just isn’t good enough;

also in Nightwing 6, Tim thinks Dick was a better Robin than Tim is, and Dick thinks he wasn’t that great and that Tim’s better;

post-Last Laugh, Tim’s insistent that Dick's being too hard on himself about attacking the Joker whereas Dick's really haunted by the experience and confides that it feels like he's discovered a terrible dark side of himself;

way later in Nightwing 110, Tim’s seeking Dick out and Dick’s trying to avoid him because he thinks he’s a bad person who’d be bad for Tim;

in BW: Murderer, Tim doesn’t trust Bruce absolutely, but in Red Robin, he does trust Dick absolutely (or at least, more than Tim trusts himself);

etc. etc. etc.

Who's right: Dick or Tim?

So, is Tim being too easy on Dick and looking at him with rose-colored glasses, and Dick’s harsher view of himself is the correct one; or is Dick a perfectionist who’s being too hard on himself, and Tim’s the one who’s actually seeing Dick’s strengths more clearly?

I don’t think the comics really commit one way or another! These are moments of multiple-perspectives, where we notice that Tim has one attitude and Dick has another attitude and that tells us things about the characters, not moments that are meant to resolve to a simplistic “one person is Right and one person is Wrong.” I think often you could argue that they're both right? So, like, if you wanted to take the approach of, "Tim's idolizing him but he's not actually as great as Tim thinks," I don't think the comics precisely contradict that interpretation.

... THAT SAID, look, I am a Dick Grayson fan at heart, and I tend to lean toward “Dick’s being too hard on himself.”

Tim’s not oblivious to Dick’s flaws—he immediately figures out, for example, that Dick’s gonna attack the Joker, and rushes off to stop him; he just isn’t as judgmental about this moment as Dick is, and he doesn’t think it makes Dick an awful person forever. The point is (Tim says later, practical-minded) that it was made right, and Dick shouldn’t beat himself up about it. In Prodigal, Tim’s not unaware that their fight with Croc went badly; he’s just focused on how Dick’s morals and teamwork-centric attitude feel right to him in a way that Azrael’s didn’t, and look, Tim didn’t get shot even though he got shot at, and isn’t that the important thing? Tim gets caught in the same ambush that Dick does in Nightwing 6; he just takes the glass-half-full attitude toward it while Dick takes the glass-half-empty attitude. And so on.

Tim admires Dick, looks up to him, trusts him, interprets his flaws generously, and doesn’t think he’s a failure. And... this isn't quite in the comics, but it doesn't contradict them: I like to imagine Dick feeling like he's on a pedestal, and feeling kinda uncomfortable with Tim's admiration when he's forced to realize it exists, and feeling like he doesn't deserve it, and sometimes subconsciously braced for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Tim can't possibly really think this forever, that he's deluded somehow, and that eventually Tim will realize who Dick really is and get disillusioned and leave.

And I tend to think of Dick having this problem a bit with everyone in his life who thinks highly of him, but especially with Tim, because he doesn't feel like Tim's ever needed him or that he's done anything worth Tim's admiration. I feel like Dick - despite some insecurities - does know his own worth as a team leader, and he knows he was a good partner to Bruce, and he understands when he's helping people who are clearly floundering, like Damian and Rose. But all he's ever done for Tim is...hang out, and be nice. And he doesn't think Tim ever needed fixing or saving, and he vastly underestimates both the value of his own friendship in general and how much it's meant to Tim in particular. Not all the time, because later in their relationship when they've known each other for years I do think Dick does feel a bit more secure in that friendship and entitled to make demands based on it (and vice versa, for Tim). But I do imagine Dick periodically feeling like Tim lets him off the hook too easily, and thinks more highly of him than he should, and alternating between being grateful for it and uncomfortable with it.

But I would argue that Dick does deserve Tim’s admiration!

Look, Dick's not a perfect person - no one is. He does screw up sometimes, and sometimes he's petty or jealous, and sometimes his temper gets the better of him. But he is pretty great! He's brave and thoughtful and kind and generous and caring. He takes his own grief and his own suffering and devotes himself to helping other people. And Tim sees that. Tim watches an orphaned kid crying on stage, and has nightmares about it - and later recognizes the hero in him. Tim stops Dick from beating the Joker to death, and he holds Dick back from strangling Hugo Strange, and he talks Dick down from two separate panic attacks, and he listens to Dick monologue about his various perceived failures, and he gets yelled at a lot when Dick's annoyed with him, and his takeaway from all of that is that he believes in Dick, and trusts Dick, and thinks he's a hero.

You could see that as Tim having him on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge the ugly reality. But I tend to see it as Tim understanding that Dick's flaws and occasional missteps don't define who he is - the fact that Dick's human doesn't make him any less of a hero. Tim can see the hero that Dick can't always see in himself.

Dick and Tim have really high opinions of each other... for better or worse

Tim's not alone in having a high opinion of Dick - Dick thinks Tim's pretty great, too! Dick repeatedly compares himself to Tim and finds himself wanting, whether he's thinking that Tim's a better partner for Bruce, or having a fear toxin nightmare where Tim's a rival who's beating him out of a job, or deciding that Tim would never have let Blockbuster die (and that he'll be better off if Dick avoids him), or musing that Tim would be a better Batman. Dick calls Tim his equal and closest ally in Red Robin; Tim thinks Dick is "the best" in his origin story and basically never changes his mind.

I think nowadays we're sometimes pretty highly-attuned to the way that high expectations can be bad or oppressive, and... I have mixed feelings about this? On the one hand, it isn't untrue! Dick and Tim's mutual high opinions of each other, and correspondingly high expectations, are not an unmixed blessing! They 100% cause problems! Dick and Tim think highly of each other, and expect a lot from each other, and sometimes they're pushy or abrupt or demanding when they could stand to be more sensitive. And the iffy side of high expectations is something I find interesting, and I do think it's solidly canon-based - you see aspects of this in several of their comic conflicts - LPoD, Graduation Day, BftC, RR, etc.

But at the same time, it's complicated! I don't think you can fully untangle the higher expectations from "they rely on each other and have a lot of faith in each other." Love and trust are different things, and Dick and Tim care a whole lot about being trusted, not just about being loved.

I also think it's important that their belief in each other is often a gift rather than an inevitability: Dick and Tim choose to see each other in positive ways. Something they both do is after they have a conflict, they'll apply on a retrospective very positive gloss to whatever just happened. So e.g. Dick starts Resurrection mad at Tim, and ends it by declaring, "I let you make the choice... because I knew you'd make the right one." Tim spends most of Red Robin 1-12 mad at Dick, and ends it by declaring that he knew Dick would catch him because Dick's always there for him. And in both cases, we-the-readers are aware that they knew no such thing! But to me, that doesn't make these declarations meaningless - it makes them more meaningful. Their faith in each other is sometimes genuinely felt, and sometimes it's something they stubbornly brute-force into existence because they want to give that gift to each other.

And I mean... Tim did make the right choice. Dick was there when it really counted. Just because it isn't the whole truth doesn't mean it's not a truth.

Now, does this positivity also put some pressure on them? Absolutely! They're both people who are very upset by failure, so they tend to reassure each other by insisting that there was no failure, could never be failure, failure is impossible, even when they know perfectly well that's not true. They praise each other's skills as a love language, when what they mean is I love you no matter what. They talk about other people's needs but don't always acknowledge each other's. And it'd probably be healthier if they said instead, "Even if you'd made the wrong choice, it'd be okay, because it's okay to make the wrong choice sometimes," or "Even if you're not always there for me, that's okay, because no one can be there for someone else all the time."

And they do not say that, because Dick and Tim are relatively well-adjusted by Batfamily standards but that is a very low bar, and at the end of the day they're still deeply messed-up perfectionists who deal with their emotional problems by punching crime in the face.

But look, they're trying. And isn't that the important thing? <3

#dick 'imposter syndrome' grayson and tim 'dick grayson stan' drake #dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #ask tag #i rambled for a really long time anon <3 #it's complicated because i feel like mmmm the ''pedestal'' thing is obv true in some ways #but i think it also sometimes gets used in this kinda flanderized way #where it gets extrapolated into claims like ''older!tim is shocked to learn dick experiences normal human emotions' or w/e #and obv fandom is transformative and a rich tapestry etc but for me personally #part of what i LOVE about tim's introduction is that dick is in the middle of one of his very angsty eras #so tim's burst into his life being all ''hiiiiii!!! you're the best :)))))'' when dick is at peak ''i am gloomy and depressed''#that said tim's high opinion of dick is very canon and very compelling to me <3 #tim does think dick is the greatest thing ever!#but it's more like being a stan of his rather than being a distant stranger who doesn't know him at all #it's not that tim's unaware that dick gets angry/sad/etc or that dick and tim never have fights (they do!)#it's more that unless they're actively in the middle of a fight tim admires/loves dick a lot and is determined to think well of him #so he considers all of dick's strengths What's Important About Him and all of his flaws Basically A Rounding Error If You Think About It #and he doubles-down on this when someone's questioning it (including Dick)#there is definite motivated reasoning at play in Tim's view of Dick but imo it's not quite the same as a pedestal sdfdsfds #i'm not sure there's anything that Dick could do that Tim couldn't find a way to justify in his head how it was okay /#not really Dick / not really his fault / etc. - like if Dick went on a murder spree #Tim would be there making the big This Isn't You! I Know You Won't Kill Me Because I Believe In You! speech #and like. if he was wrong then he'd be dead sdfdsf but the thing is he'd have secret doubts and be wary AND STILL #find himself ultimately making that speech / taking the risk - and ditto for Dick toward Tim #it's not that they never get mad / distrust each other and it's not impossible they'd stay bitter and suspicious for a while #but in the END they both really really WANT to trust each other

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wisteriasymphony · 24 days

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im ngl ur the only one i trust wih characterising luka...hes such a terrible guy in tweos but still more likable than his canon counterpart to me 😭

willwood anon is this you??? are you at his first appearance in chapter 18 or are you somehow already at the Halloween chap??? shdhdjdjsj. here take a notebook drawing i did of him for you <3

also yes yes him and Kagami got the worst of my revamp treatment but it'd be a lie to say i don't like them at all??? (more words under cut)

Kagami is at worst just naïve and stubborn but is very clearly suffering in the same ways Adrien is (and just isn't at the point where she notices it yet), and Luka Marcel is just like... an entitled little asshole who's only the "big brother" voice of reason when he's having to give Marinette (failed) reality checks.

Like Marinette, he's only into hero work for the glory, but he at least has the sense to realize that maybe Chat Noir going AWOL is not a victory? But I like him best when he's being an asshole. Like, he's 19-almost-20 dating a high schooler (unless you're one of the many one-night stands he has, in which he's totally single and did you know he's in a band? yeah Vampire Revival it's kind of a post-grunge-punk thing with a bit of screamo here's a CD—) so of course he's not a hero here. He's not benevolent or even good at using his miraculous, he's just a shitty guy who's occasionally right about things.

His shittiness also plays a huge role in the "botched Adrinette" dynamic which I can talk at length about if you guys want me to, but I'll cap it off here :P

#luka marcel couffaine <3 if he's an empath he uses it only for womanizing #the best part is that any self shipping with him is basically canon because he *would* sleep with me and you and all of juleka's friends.#he just would ghost you instantly #.....and you should consider it a mercy #thewarmembraceofshadow #tweos luka couffaine #luka couffaine #scumbag luka i love you!!!!!!#and by that i mean i hate you. lots.#if you get this far into the tags ask me about the toxic yaoi lukadrien dynamic i have floating around in my brain #miraculous fandom #miraculous lb #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fanart #mlb art #wissym doodles #mlb au #mlb luka

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kyeomblr · 6 months

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[ closed ]

thanks for 6 wonderful years on caratblr! <3 you can follow my culture & arts sideblog @ghalghai if you're into that (or if you just want to stay in touch). love, madi

#i still love svt and i still consider myself a carat #but ive just become disillusioned with fandom culture to be honest #i want to enjoy the boys and their music quietly in my own time while focusing on my personal growth and things that really matter to me #i guess the best way to put it is i still want svt in my life but i don't want it to be such a big part of my life anymore #so yea !!#feel free to unfollow me by the way i have no intention of returning i won't take it personally #but also if i unfollow you please don't take it to heart. im very selective about who i follow so i genuinely love you and your blog #i just want to declutter my dashboard so im not tempted to come back to this blog #anyway !! thanks for all the good times here bye <3 #wish you all the very very best only <3

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bri-does-art · 1 year

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Hi, just popping in to say I'm alive, still working on the next chapter and those ask responses, everything's good. |'D In case anyone was worried!

#i'm so sorry it's taking so long y'all #i'm just going through some INTENSELY STRESSFUL SHIT and it's taken a huge toll on me #but i'm doing my best i promise #i've had to take quite a few mental health breaks in the past few months #didn't help that a big part of the chapter was pretty difficult to write from a linguistic and technical perspective #but i've completed it!! now i just... gotta write the rest :'))))#maybe i'll do another poll for splitting the chapter or not because my god i am gonna finish this one in august at this rate #also random thoughts but #sometimes i think it'd be nice to join fnaf servers and meet and talk to people #make some more friends who love fnaf as well with whom i could talk and stuff #i keep going ''hmmm that'd be nice'' BUT #then i remember how i barely am active even on the server i am a mod for and i think of how big this fandom is #and i break into hives just thinking about it lmao #i don't want to be in a huge server i know it'll just stress me out and i'll end up muting it forever OTL #i perform so much better in little groups or one on one #but #to find these cool little groups or the cool people to talk to 1-on-1 i NEED to go through these hugeass servers and honestly no thank you #i am too autistic for this ;v;)#or maybe i am just growing old :'3 #i know there are some very cool people who follow me (how did it even happen i do not know) who i'd love to reach out to #who probably don't even realize that we'd be mutuals if it wasn't for this being a sideblog i can't follow back from #and i kinda want to keep my main blog kinda private just for online living hygiene reasons #*long wistful sighing* ah well

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bugsbenefit · 2 years

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the major thing why the Wheeler and Creel theories are so prevalent is essentially because there's two fuckeries going on at the same time and people are connecting them (not unjustifiably)

there's 1.) what the fuck is Karen Wheeler's deal? and boy there is a lot that even dates back as far as s1. with the way s4 ended we can also infer that her weird supporting-cast-but-also-main-girlie arc will not be over anytime soon so we'll hopefully get some insight into her. i could make multiple posts about what's so weird about her narratively alone (might actually get to that soon)

and then there's 2.) what the Fuck is Up with Alice Creel? which is it's whole other can of worms. there are SO many weird choices made here. her entire presence in the show is odd to say the least. implications get made but don't have narrative pay off yet. and even the timeline of her actual death doesn't fully add up with the other events of the family massacre night. there's a lot going on here (actually posting on that in a teeny tiny bit)

and having Two characters in the viewers eye who have no congruent answer to their purpose in the story and who both bring up more and more questions the harder you try to think about it... we'll no wonder people started to connect them. and that's not even mentioning 3.) yet of what the fuck do the Wheelers and Creels have to do with each other? because they really shouldn't have Anything to do with each other. these two families parallel each other to an extremely unusual amount and keep interacting, which is odd given that they should have no narrative connection. Henry is a parallel and antithesis to Will, wouldn't it make more sense to show a narrative connection/parallel between the Creels and Byers? why do the Wheelers get dragged into this and why are the Wheelers even Presented as such a central and questionable family in the first place? - which is a treatment no other family gets anywhere close to their level

so to get into what i mean by there's a LOT going on and the general questions of What The Fuck Is This? you can split the Creel/Wheeler theory down into three independent parts. the Karen and Alice parts stand on their own separately and are both 100% correct in my mind. there is something narratively questionable going on with both of these characters, no matter if you want to believe they are the same person or not, and we'll likely see this get addressed in s5. but that could also happen without them being the same person. the part that connects them is the 3rd aspect. the instances that actually make people think that the parallel of the Wheeler and Creel family isn't just a tool to compare these two families that have no prior connection for thematic purposes, but actually implies a familiar connection that would simultaneously also give an answer to the questions raised in both points 1 and 2

#i'll actually start going over the 3 points now i need to procrastinate an essay again #i'll do the What the fuck is up with Alice Creel? part first because i don't see enough people talking about is and it drives me Nuts #because there's things that clearly raise questions about her character we don't see resolved in s4 #and i'm honestly more shocked it Isn't accepted fandom wide that there IS something going on with Alice Creel #the Karen thing is it's own rabbit hole and the connections between the families the icing on the cake #but you can fully ignore both these things when looking at Alice. she manages to raise questions fully on her own #starting with Alice and just talking about her independently is probably the best starting point #creel/wheeler theory

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praetorqueenreyna · 1 year

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someone enjoying canon atla posts about loving canon

atla fandom; HOW DARE YOU

this fandom is. bad.

#asks #atla #it's absolutely insane being in the fandom for an objectively bad media right now (ACOTAR)#and seeing fans praise it and talk about what they love about it #and compare it to ATLA which is one of the best pieces of media to ever exist #and its fandom is obsessed with hating every part of it that makes it good #really makes you think <3 #and by think I mean marvel that some people are so stupid

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hydrostorm · 2 years

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i like the "star platinum is jonathan" theory but it would make more sense if star platinum did stuff like, smack the shit out of jotaro for being mean to women.. i think the "a stand is the culmination of YOURSELF" kinda pokes a whole in it too because jotaro and jonathan are not alike in their Selves, but it would be cool if starplat was an exception and he had a slight will of his own because of the connection to the joestar bloodline.. like jonathan's spirit wouldnt approve of jotaro's actions, in fact i think jotaro would've been a better character overall IF star platinum WAS jonathan

#like its actually a really cool motivator for jotaros characetr development? if starplat was GUIDING him to be good #i really dont like jotaro if its not clear......... lol #he could be good like i think theres cool aspects of him #but he is a terrible person!!! dont care for it personally #if a female character were the same she would be hated. btw #jonathan is not the most boring jojo his narrative is about being compassion and people tend not to give a shit about that #idec like those are my favorite kind of narratives i get its not for everyone but fandom just loves characetrs who are terrible people HGFJ #and lets just say..... jojo characters are bad people on average? the best jojo characters are not bad people #phantom blood was a very CLEAR good/evil story #but part 2 sees the protagonist being a misogynist and working with nazis. and part 3 is part 3 #thank you part 4 for being great #part 5............ uhm........ no words #part 6? well women can do no wrong sooooo /lh #soryr for having jojo thoughts LOL #jjba thoughts

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oh-gh0st · 1 year

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now i miss my sonic ocs. i had so much fun....

#ghosts rambles #the best part of making ocs in that community was getting to have fun and experimenting a lot with certain details or choices #plus like. u could throw literally anything together #i know u could say that for any fandom but i feel like sonic is a different case...#idk... i miss the community at times but. it does get bad on twitter. i will say that #ik my mutuals do follow me on here from there and don't really find interest in me posting about oso san #but it was bound to happen eventually... sadly (that i fell out of the sonic community)#i do have good memories of being on there like joining my first zine #and other fond memories of my twit mutuals <3 #but ahhh... i just needed a break for a while

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clericlost · 2 years

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tired of people acting like will wasn’t also pulling away from everybody on his own part :/

#out.#me vs fan favorite woobifiction round thousand billion and two #like Yeah i think we're supposed to pick up on mike's weirdo behavior based on the airport scene but i don't think. him at the rink was that #but the fandom seems to have taken it that way? like it Isn't all on mike and when mike points that out will has Nothing #he just stands there grappling for an excuse but he doesn't have one other than He's In Love With His Best Friend And Can't Say It #and will's conversation with jon? WHY is it even a take that jon was stoned ALL the time?#jon says he Misses how they used to talk and like yeah he's been dealing with his own shit but that never got in the way of he and will b4?#jon's always had shit to deal with but he's Always made time for will #but people are acting like he would've have dropped everything had will just reached out #even in that actual conversation!! jon reaches out and will can only parrot the kindness back to him #but he does Not take jon's offer to listen #he's still too scared to so he says he's always there for jon too which is true but it's also a clear decline in that moment #to accept what jon's offering him #so jon just says he knows will is of course he does and holds him because he gets it even if will can't even say it #NONE of this is bad on will's part but he is absolutely pulling away from everybody #sorry for the tag vent but i Need people to stop acting like nobody cares about will when he has SO many people in his corner #that isn't the issue!! the issue is that he's so so scared and he already has so much trauma linked to leaning on others for support #it's just too much to unpack when the world needs saving again and he finally knows For Sure he's gay no buts about it #it's just too much but his level of rock bottom is NOT due to not having anybody there ready and willing to catch him #it's just not ty <3 #st4 spoilers //#OOPS BFHDF #sorry i've just seen these takes in so many fics already it's driving me nuts bsdkfjs

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hugispuso-archive · 2 years

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sorry i. i'm kinda sentimental rn

#oreki gushes #i'm really glad i found ososan #i've been active in the fandom for 3 years straight. and that's a first because i've never stayed in any fandom for that long #and now that i'm back i'm being hit with a lot of nostalgia #it's genuinely the funniest anime series i've watched and it never fails to make me laugh #when i label it as a forever fav in my carrd i really mean it 😭#not to mention it gave me way to meet the best group of friends #oh that means we've been friends for 5-6 years as well HUH WOW #this must be why i'm so attached to the o.bey me brothers too #they're both a big family and they're all idiots too LMFAO #who knew i was projecting all this time #i love them. i love them all so much i decided to make both families as my lockscreen 🥰#huhu it's just. ososan is practically part of who i am because that's what i grew up with #random fun fact i used to collect objects that had the matsuno brothers' colors. i even stole from a stranger's house HSGSGSHSJAJAJAJJS #LOOK I WAS YOUNG OKAY. I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT #and wuwuueje i still have my old drawings when i was still in my ososan phase. they were literally the only thing i would draw BAHAHSHDH #if you met me in 5th grade this is what i'll only talk about 😭#i was OBSESSED. but tbh i still am now HSGSGAGAHAHSJ #oh i wonder what i'll be like today if i hadn't known of ososan #i don't wanna imagine. i'll be someone with a terrible sense of humor PFF #brings me back to the days when i used to be a moderator in the amino community #and i had to do it all on my own bc all the other mods became inactive #it was stressful but i eventually had to step down. i was just a kid yk #but i really loved the community. they were all so supportive of me when i was departing #not to mention majority of the ppl even voted me as the most helpful and kindest member!!!!#that boosted my confidence so much i tell you #but i'm kinda reluctant to coming back there bc i was managing a group there but completely abandoned it without explanation. oops #but yeah i just!!!! i really love ososan. best anime in my heart forever and always #platonic f/o's ; matsuno brothers ✰#oh i ran out of tags LMAOOOO

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corvidcall · 2 years

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i saw a good post abt how fatphobia comes up in fat peoples sex/dating lives (which I'll probably reblog later, when i have time to add stuff to the tags) but hooooooh boy it did dredge up some stuff for me!!! and now im upset!!!!

#anime life #ive been fat my whole life and it's!!! its been rough!!!!!!#its been traumatic!!!!!#and the fact that it really feels like no one has ever truly desired me and nobody ever will is. ugh.#i wish it werent part of it bc it feels soooo pathetic #and when ive asked ppl for advice about it what ive gotten in response has been almost insulting #thin ppl spending a lot of time telling me how bad they feel for me. how sad hearing about my personal life made them.#a lot of 'have you tried dating a fat fetishist?'#which like. 1. no they dont want me either 2. theres a good chunk of ppl who fetishize fat bodies but still hate fat people #and 3. idk do other marginalized people get that advice?? that actually they should try dating chasers??#i feel like i havent seen it #or i get told i should try dating fat men. like i wouldnt if given the chance????#i love fat men. they just also. historically. dont like me #ive known a lot of fat men who view dating a fat woman (or whatever i am) as disgusting and demeaning!!! at best its 'settling'!!!#god. one bit of advice i got was i should try dating nerdy guys. incredible #once again: they don't want me either!!!!! im TOO nerdy to the point it's off-putting!!!!#YES im a nerd. NO i dont watch mcu stuff. or dcu. or lotr. or star wars. or got. i dont like any of the big things #my main fandom was and always will be a 12 year old free browser game #im wildly unrelatable and i hate most really big tentpole nerd properties. except dnd that ones ok. but ive also written ttrpgs so like.#idk i think im disqualified from being the nerdy gf* people would actually want lol #anyway. its not a big deal i guess #just the kind of advice that makes you feel even more hopeless.#when i think abt it i cant help but laugh..bc i mean. what else can i do lol

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papermachedragons · 9 months

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Ahhhhh I just love telling my friends about a new wip I whipped up and started writing even though I was really only writing down the plot that had come to mind, no I swear I was just writing the plot but then it just kept coming and I couldn't stop writing I had to get it down so I wouldn't lose any of my ideas or the details—

"So I've written about 15k words now, but it's just the barebones and specific moments here and there that I just couldn't stop writing. It's really not that much."

And how many words is it when I actually go back and check?

40k words.

It's 40k words. I'm a fucking liar

#and i love it #gods i just love when i expect a word count and then it turns out it's at least double the size if not triple #this is the fun and exciting part about using a writing program that does not have word count available #so when you transfer to one that has you get a fun little '✨️surprise✨️ you actually wrote insanely much compared to your expectation'#and how fun is that? not having word count also removes that kind of pressure off you when youre actively writing #its the best #its a percy jackson fic if anyones curious #Im currently losing my mind over percy jackson so of course i had to dip my toes into pjo fanfics #and now im 3 new wips deep into pjo fandom and im ecstatic about it #fanfic writing #writing fanfiction #writing fic #fic writing #fanfiction writer #fanfic writer #fic writer #writer #dragons write #dragons talk #dragons talk in tags #fanfic #writing #fanfics

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cinnamonest · 2 months

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I'm not looking to start shit so I'm not linking it or anything, but you may have seen a recent anti-dark-content post circulating with a lot of notes making rounds in the x reader sphere and while I have nothing against people posting their feelings in their own private spaces, every time I see these kinds of posts there's a lot of misinformation that gets regurgitated in the reblogs/replies and I saw what looked like a battlezone in the replies, so.

I know posts like that can be very jarring and affects people like my readers, so to combat misinformation/shaming for anyone who saw it, I'm going to share some of my information on combatting fandom puritanism/misogyny/kinkshaming in its most common forms.

The most important fact, if you read nothing else, is this:

Most women have rape fantasies.

62% to be exact. I think the most pervasive myth on this content is that consumers are "weird" for it, when the numbers don't indicate that. You're in the majority!

The vast majority of people who have rape fantasies do not put them into practice in real life. A variety of factors can determine whether or not they do, particularly specific psychiatric disorders. (X)

To specifically address common harmful and pervasive myths:

the "go to therapy!" line

Generally any academic or professional resource will immediately tell you that consuming and engaging in "dark" fantasies is accepted and encouraged by mainstream psychiatry and part of the professional education for psychiatrists. (This also used to be pretty well-known until like the last 5 years or so, not sure why that changed.)

Here are some particularly insightful resources:

1) This article by Dr. David Wahl, in my opinion, hands-down does the best job of simply and thoroughly explaining why these fantasies occur and why couples practice CNC, as well as the fact that they are both harmless, psychologically beneficial to those with them, and not at all correlated to real-life rape.

2) Dr. Claudia Six has some of the best and most thorough material out there on the subject, specifically explaining why this is taught in mainstream academia psychology and how it is incredibly helpful to rape victims (X).

3) Lisa Diamond is a professional who focuses on this subject a lot, and was featured in the documentary "The Dilemma of Desire," in which she specifically focuses on how these fantasies are not correlated to real-life desires. (X)

4) Dr. Casey Lyle has specifically talked a lot on his socials about how fantasies, even in men/the perspective of the offender, do not correlate to actual risk of offending.

5) This article is not by a professional, but from the perspective of a survivor discussing how it is beneficial to survivors.

the "why would you want that?" line

The idea that fictional tastes = what you want to happen to you in real life is actually of misogynistic origin. I don't want to seek out or add links on this one, but if you're really curious, you can research about how the idea that "women read rape fiction, that means they secretly want rape!" was originally a classic "red pill"/MGTOW/4chan talking point that made its way into mainstream dialogue and thus the public mind in the last 15 years or so due to the incel epidemic popularizing those communities.

the "it's only valid for survivors then!" line

On one hand, yes it's very important to acknowledge that trauma victims use it to cope, however I feel that over-emphasizing that gives the impression that non-victims should be excluded from consumption of dark content, so to clarify, it's a very valid means for all women. Many women who have not personally experienced rape still fantasize about it, and that's fine.

The full explanation as to why this is true for many of them would be lengthy (and addressed in the aforementioned Dilemma of Desire documentary), but in the simplest terms, nonconsensual sex is the only context in which patriarchal society permits women to have sex at all without feeling guilt. For many women, particularly those in more heavily misogynistic or religious cultures, these fantasies are appealing because the idea of consensual sex may give them feelings of shame, guilt, "sin," etc. These fantasies allow them to experience the feeling of being desired without guilt of participation.

No society on earth is free of the psychological grip that cultural misogyny has on women, and shaming women for adapting to the conditions they are forced to exist under is as harmful as the misogyny that causes it itself.

ALL women experience a form of psychological trauma inherent to female childhood and female adolescence in a patriarchal world, and that is just as valid as coping with individual traumatic events.

Good resources on the subject of why women have these fantasies and how they are helpful in general:

(X) (X)

The "what you consume will make you do it in real life!" myth

Although the resources above already address this, it's important to establish why this myth is so prevalent and what its origins are.

The idea that consuming media with dark themes leads to or indicates desires to replicate those acts is a residual element of two major events:

1) Puritan revival culture, popularized in the US and UK in the 90s and 2000s (also known as "Satanic Panic"). A major facet of this movement was TV megachurch preachers making money off of exploiting well-meaning but paranoid parents into believing that your child playing Dungeons and Dragons or Pokemon would make them future serial killers and lure them into satanic cults. (X)

2) at the tail end of this, it was cemented in the public mind as a cultural ripple aftershock of the Columbine shooting, where this sentiment became popularized as the general public blamed violent video games like Doom and "dark" music like Marilyn Manson (whose life was temporarily completely upended by the events and took him years to recover/be safe from) for the 1999 shooting. This event had MASSIVE permanent and global effects in all sorts of ways that the public often underestimates the sheer scope of, notably that it solidified, prolonged, and, in the minds of many, "proved" the paranoias of the preexisting Satanic Panic. (X) This established a precedent, leading to virtually any major horrible event being blamed on the perpetrator's media consumption, including murder and sex crimes.

What this myth ignores in the cases it references (the slenderman stabbings, columbine, sasebo slashing, batman shooting, etc) is two crucial facts: that hundreds of millions of people consume the same media with no negative effects (helpful effects even), and that in every single case cited as "evidence" to the claim, the perpetrator had a preexisting psychiatric condition correlated to acts of violence (which usually went ignored, downplayed and even accelerated/worsened by those around them rather than the help they needed).

Sorry for the wall of text, but I feel an ethical obligation to combat this kind of misinformation, and I hope these resources are helpful for those who may be negatively affected by common misunderstandings.

You are not abnormal or wrong for the fictional content you consume or the fantasies you have!

#im very passionate about this because this sort of thing severely affected younger me #and i dont want that for anyone else!#love yall

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