#it's one of my favorites because I get to use the line ''johnny' is dead'

[starlightvld]

Yet another AMAZING piece by @kibagib!! This time, it's a sneak peek for chapter 1 of my new angsty soapghost fic Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts.

The lighting, the composition (the way John is being pulled out of the frame by someone else!!!), and the colors are all perfect. Thank you so much, Kiba!

I can't wait to share the first chapter with everyone!

#THANK YOU SO SO MUCH KIBA!!!! #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #COD #Call of Duty #COD MW reboot #broken bones and shattered hearts #post canon au #post canon fix it #this will have spoilers for the MWIII campaign but the story is set three and a half years later #yes I have a thing for post canon aus #despite appearances it is not a period drama #they're at gaz's wedding #I love love this scene a lot and I'm so happy with how Kiba made it come to life #it's one of my favorites because I get to use the line ''johnny' is dead' #did I mention this is an angsty fic? #but it does have a happy ending! #OG Starlight

[milf-murdock]

Unsteady (Simon x Johnny x Reader)

Request: Simon and Johnny taking care of F!Reader

Summary: Simon and Johnny take care of you after you almost pass out at the pub.

TW: heavily implied disordered eating, almost passing out, mental health concerns, medication mentions (nothing specific but could be read as ADHD medication side effects).

A/N: Hi anon! Thank you so much for your request and your kind words! I'm choosing not to publish the ask because I think there are some triggering words that I won't be able to hide under a "read more" line, but I hope that you enjoy this and find some comfort in it.

As someone who has also struggled with EDs in the past, please, please, please do not be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing glamorous about eating disorders. They absolutely need to be taken seriously.

Instead of going the full ED route with this one shot, I took it down a slightly softer path and based it off of my experience with ADHD and how it has led to me accidentally missing meals.

The din of the pub faded into the background as you sat in the corner booth of your favorite pub. You were pressed up against Simon’s bulky frame, one of his strong arms wrapped around your body, keeping you tucked in close. Johnny sat across the booth, taking in his favorite view: you wrapped up in Simon—his two loves, his whole world sat right across the table from him. 

Your empty glass clinked against the others as your set it on the table. “Looks like we’re ready for another round,” you said, smiling up at Johnny. 

“Mm, that it does,” Johnny smiled back at you, and you felt like you could absolutely drown in those ocean eyes. 

“You tryna get us drunk or something, love?” Simon teased, lips pressing against your collarbone. 

“Something like that,” you laughed, turning your head meet his lips for a quick kiss. “Here, I’ll go, order them” you reasoned, being on the outside of the seat and closest to the bar. “Be right back.” You pushed yourself from the booth to your feet, and instantly the entire room started spinning.  Damn, you thought to yourself. That beer is hitting fast. You went to take one tentative step, and then the room started to tilt, the floor coming up at you fast. 

Johnny was out of his seat in an instant, having picked up immediately something was wrong from the moment you stood up. His two large hands reached out to steady you, catching you in his arms. “Easy now,” he grunted,  bracing you both. “I’ve got ye.” He gently lowered you back into the booth, letting your weak form lean up against Simon. Simon’s hands instantly held you against him, supporting you. At the edge of the booth, Johnny got down on one knee so he could be eye level with you. 

“Look at me, hen,” he coaxed. “What’re you feeling?” Johnny grabbed one of the ice waters from the table and gingerly helped bring it to your lips. 

You blinked, trying to get your bearings. The room finally stopped spinning. “M’fine,” you mumble before taking a sip of the water Johnny offered you. The icy cold liquid helped clear your mind. “Just got a bit dizzy.”

Johnny and Simon exchanged knowing glances. 

“What’ve ye had to eat today, lass?” Johnny’s voice was gentle, prodding, but his eyes were a dead giveaway to the concern and hurt he was feeling, already knowing the answer. 

“Umm, I’m not really sure,” you stepped around the question, your voice hesitant. “I think I had a banana this morning?” 

Simon let out a resigned sigh. “I’m assuming that would be half of a banana,” he corrected. “Considering I found the remaining half still in the peel on top of the dresser.”   

You eyelids fluttered shut, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “Oh.” You let out. “Yeah, I went in there to grab one of your jumpers and I must have forgotten it.” 

It happened all the time, you getting distracted mid task. It had gotten even worse since one of the side effects of your medication was a suppressed appetite. You never did have quite a good relationship with food to begin with though. 

“And what about lunch?” Johnny continued his prodding. 

You bit your bottom lip, a nervous habit of yours. Wincing, you reply with a mumbled “forgot.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as shame flooded through you. 

At this, both men let out a sigh, completely in synch when it comes to their concern for you. 

“Love, we’ve been over this,” Simon started before being cut off. 

“M’sorry.” Despite your best efforts, a couple tears started to slide down your face. 

Johnny pulls you into his arms. “S’okay, Bonnie,” he soothed, running a hand up and down your back. 

“S’not okay, Johnny,” Simon snapped from the other side of you. “She needs to be eating.” 

Johnny shot Simon a glare. “I know that, Si.” He took a deep breath before pressing a kiss to your temple, your head buried against his chest. “He’s right though, bonnie. Ye need to be eating.” 

His hand slid up to grip your chin, forcing you to look up at him. 

“I know,” you whined, fidgeting under his piercing gaze. 

Simon scooted closer across the booth, a strong hand coming to rest against your back. 

“We just need to know you’re taken care of, love,” Simon began to rub his hand in a soothing circle. “Specially knowing we can’t always be here to take care of you ourselves.” 

“I know,” you sighed, feeling yourself shutting down. 

Simon and Johnny exchange another glance, Simon giving a short nod of approval signaling to back off for now. 

“Just promise us you’ll try,” Johnny pleaded. “For us. Please?”

You nod, sniffling. 

“I promise,” you sighed softly. “I’ll try harder.”

Johnny gave you a crooked smile, a favorite of yours. “Atta girl.” 

Simon pressed a kiss to the back of your head. “Now let’s go get some dinner, love. How’s that sound?” 

“It sounds…” you trailed off.  “Well, I don’t really feel that well.” 

Simon nodded his head knowingly. “Well that’s cause you’ve hardly eaten today.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Probably.” 

“Something easy then,” Johnny stated matter of factly. “Perfect weather for soup. Think you can manage that, dove?” 

You gave a small nod and let Johnny transfer you over to Simon’s strong arms. 

“Aye, good lass,” he gave you a quick peck. “Si, get our girl home and I’l go pick it up.” 

“Affirmative,” Simon agreed, giving your hip a quick tap to encourage you to try to get on your feet again. 

Johnny stood up and offered you a hand to help you up, Simon’s hands never leaving your hips until they were both certain you weren’t in danger of passing out on them.  

“I’ll see you both at home,” Johnny quipped, giving both you and Simon a quick kiss on the cheek before going to pay the tab. 

Simon helped you shrug into your coat and the two of you made your way out to the brisk Manchester air. 

An hour later, empty takeaway containers littered the coffee table in the living room as you laid on the couch with your loves. You were pressed up against Simon, leaning up against him, tucked under his arm. Your legs were sprawled out across Johnny’s lap, his calloused hands giving you the most delightful foot massage. 

“Y’know we love you, right?” Johnny’s voice broke the silence that had settled over the three of you. 

“I know,” your voice was low. 

“We just worry about you, love,” Simon urged, pressing a kiss to the back of your head. 

“I promise I’ll try to be better.” You sighed softly. “I love you both so much.” 

“We love you too, lass.” Johnny leaned forward to give you a kiss. 

“So much,” Simon finished, pressing another kiss to your exposed neck. 

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon riley imagine #john soap mctavish x reader #simon x johnny x reader #ghost x soap x reader #ghoap x reader #simon Riley x Johnny mactavish x reader #simon riley x john mactavish x reader #TW ed #tw ed descussion #soap x reader #ghoap x you

[ohbo-ohno]

absolutely love the shock collar thing for ghoap x reader, especially post accident where they're both grovelling and super guilty for what happened because for once, neither one of them have nothing to use for punishing reader. that's all on them (Simon, mostly, but Johnny's just as guilty).

with that being said, I'd like to introduce this scenario:

maybe just a little bit of time passes. maybe they don't try to have outside time for a little while because reader absolutely detests the thought of the incident happening again since they lied to her the first time. not intentionally but she doesn't think otherwise because it wouldn't be the first time they made her break rules so that they can have an excuse to punish her and the "accident" as they said, might have been exactly that but this is worse because they lied to her face about it. so she doesn't want to give them any more excuses to hurt her again.

it actually gives her so much anxiety that it affects her way of thinking and the way she acts to the point where months go without her getting out of line. not once does she disobey them. not even giving just a little🤏 sarcasm in case one of them turns a complete 180 and goes apeshit on her. and at first, that's fine. it's what Simon might have wanted— complete obedience from his pet. but after a while, he starts to hate it because he can see that it's out of fear.

even when he tries to give her affection, that little flinch twists something in his dead heart. it's no better with Johnny either because she just receives his affection too with very little reaction. as if she's just going through the motions and waiting for it to end and not because she wants their affection.

they've been grovelling and trying to convince her that she's not in trouble for anything and trying to get her genuine reactions and trying to get her to be happy with them again, but anything they do is met with wide eyes, flinching, freezing or something else equally as negative.

but they don't know the extent of that fear until at dinner, one of them makes the mistake of mentioning outside time again and reader just... breaks down. like breaks into tears, hyperventilating and drops into fetal position (maybe even hide under the bed or in the closet) and begging them not to hurt her again because she's been a good girl like they wanted :(

and Simon has never hated himself more because he just wanted to see something other than fear in her eyes for once.

(is 🪐-anon taken? i feel like i'm going to frequent this area)

hey babe stay as long as you want! i will probably only grow more disturbed the longer i write. i didn't add a whole lot to this ask because honestly it stands really well on it's own, so tysm for sending it to me <3

i looved answering the shock collar asks, so fucked up and horrible in one of my favorite ways. that unintentional betrayal that can't taken back, their anger at your rightful distrust, you suddenly being totally averse to something you'd been begging for for weeks, oh it's all so horrible.

i really like the idea of reader becoming actively distressed when they want her to go outside again. she can't help but think they're going to trick her again, is determined to not allow that to happen under any circumstances. they didn't punish her past the shock last time, but who knows what they might do next time? no. it's simply not worth the risk

she doesn't really have a breakdown until simon calmly suggests they might force her outside if she keeps refusing - for her own health, he goes on, but she's already deep in the throes of panic by that point

it takes a long time for them to coax her into relaxing again, even longer for her to even look them in the eyes

simon doesn't mention forcing you outside again.

#🪐 anon #dlmliyh #asks and answers #i shouldve tagged these shock collar asks so i could find them again but whtvr

[yufloria]

The Pain of Regret

CHEATER?!Soap X Fem!Reader 

A/N: Hey! Thank you so much for the support on my first fanfic it gave me motivation to finish this one faster (because the first one took me almost half a month to complete) I hope you enjoy this just as much as the first one.  

Warnings: it's my 2nd fanfic but first shot on Angst and Pain no Comfort, I guess some sexual themes? If you squint (Only once mention condom) Soap is a complete asshole in this and you kill a bunch of kids (unintentionally) 

Also: Feedback would be appreciated :3

Word Count: 3.2k

The relationship you had with Soap was … confusing to say the least. Confusing because both of you were always dancing between the line of being a couple or just friends. You always waited to see if Soap wanted anything with you, but he always seemed to keep you guessing, by spending nights together even though it was forebitten in the barracks, cracking jokes together while mending yourselves or some lingering touches that seem to drag a few seconds longer than necessary. But he never made the move towards anything else. Now it has been almost half a year in this guessing game, and you finally gathered your courage enough for you to confess to him. Convincing yourself that it is better for you to have a solid answer than always seem to walk on eggshells around him. You settled into giving him a rose and tell him verbally. You knew it was a bit cliché, but you decided to pair it with a small meaningful gift. It was a black switchblade with a small Scottish flag stud on the bottom of the handle with your initials right below it. A little too much? Maybe? But you knew his love for his country was great and you hope it was the same for you too. You wrapped the knife with some black paper and tied it with a silver cord and attached a small piece of paper simply stating, ‘I love you, Johnny’  

The reason was that one time, as you were the recently added recruit and you got captured during a mission and Soap was the first one to find you. You were about to get thrown out of a 15-story building. You were tied up in the rope that you desperately struggle

c d to get out of, but your hands were tied up behind you. Soap made the stupid mistake of shooting the enemy that was the only thing keeping you from plummeting to your death. As you were falling, Soap managed to throw himself to get the spare rope, struggled to stop the force pulling him down with you. He managed to flip himself over onto his back and press the soles of his boots against the wall and grunting in pain has he strained both of his arms to hold you steady before slowly starting to pull you up. Once he managed to see your head coming up from the floor, he managed to sit up and pull from the rope across your chest and pulled you into a bear hug after seeing your eyes rimmed with tears. Once he dragged both of you away from the broken window. He took out his black switchblade to furiously cut you out of your bindings. But on the last rope, he used more force than necessary, and it slipped from his hand off and out the window. “Ah, and that was my favorite one,” was the only thing he said before holding your head between his hands and looking at your face. He now noticed a cut on your eyebrow that caused blood to cover your right eye. “That bastard nicked you, didn’t he? Good thing he is dead now” he laughed. “Come on let's get you home and patched up,” he said before sending you a smile that made your stomach butterflies flutter. You touch over the scar that rested a little above your eyebrow. The damaged skin felt soft against your fingers smiling fondly at the memory. Content with your work, you carefully picked up the gift and placed it in your secret drawer. Before you could even think when you should give the present to Soap. Everyone in the Task Force was called out to carry out a mission on getting some information on an important cargo from the cartel.   

So, here you are, sitting perched on a church tower in the bell chamber in the dead of night. It had started to rain and become windy, both of them slowly started picking up and soon enough it felt like you were right in the middle of a hurricane. Static was the only thing that could be heard from the radio until the gruff voice of Price spoke through the noise, “Scorpion, once you see the cargo truck heading up north to the bridge. You need to take the driver out before it even gets close to the bridge. If not, we will lose track of it, and it will take weeks to relocate again, and we don’t know what’s inside. So, I advise you to take the shot once you feel it is appropriate.” “Copy that Price, I just wanted you to know that the weather is cutting communication through the radio,” you replied. Static arose again and you were the one to speak this time. “Do you copy? Price? Captain? Anyone?’’ Without hearing a response back, you started tinkering with your radio trying to get a better connection before the tell-tale sign of an engine rumbling in the distance brought you back to stay focused on the mission at hand. You faintly started to see the headlights in the distance, and you guessed that you have around 2 minutes in aligning your shot before your target gets to the bridge. “Price, do you copy? Do I take the shot?” You asked one last time into the static to confirm. You knew that the time was running out and without confirmation, you decided to take your shot.   

Everything went in slow motion as you were pulling the trigger the static cleared out just enough for you to hear, “--kids inside.” You tried to stop your actions and recollect your thoughts, but it was too late, your bullet was now on course toward its destination. The realization that they might be children inside the truck made your blood run cold. You watched in desperation as the truck tipped over the road and down the mountain side and every time you saw the truck flip over it felt like someone had punched and stabbed you in the heart. Once the truck hit rock bottom, you snapped from your frozen state and you jumped off the church tower onto the lower roof, slid down the building's side, landed on the grass with a grunt, and you sprinted towards the edge of the mountain where the team was standing. Once you ran enough to stand next to them you watched in shock as the truck exploded; the explosion was big enough for you to see and feel the small shockwave it had induced. You screamed and cried out as you fell onto your knees as you realized that there probably were children with their mothers inside the truck and instead of saving them you killed them.   

“You killed them.” Soap accused you.  

“Huh?” you looked up in pain at him.  

“Are you deaf? You fucking killed them!” he yelled louder pressing up to you.  

Hearing that the person you love the most in this world just laid all the blame of the situation on you and only you made your blood boil. You stood up and closed in up to his face.  

“Don't you fucking dare blame this all on me.” you bite out.  

“Oh yeah? And who just shot the focken driver eh?”  

“Price told me- actually ordered me that I could take the shot whenever I felt it was appropriate and that is what I did!” You emphasize by pushing him away.  

“No, you didn’t do focken anything-.”  

“Quit it you two! The damage has already been done. We need to go down there and see if there's any survivors left and return back to the base.” Price ordered by stepping between both of you sensing a fight boiling inside both of you. Then, all of you went to see if there were any survivors, but much to your despair they were none. Everything after that passed in a blur, it felt that you were viewing your vision in 3rd person as you frantically checked the countless burned bodies for a pulse. You all returned to the base in silence as you were merely a shell of yourself and went to your room to try to rest. Keyword? Tried. After what felt hours of trying, you frustrated sit up from your bed and decided to see Soap and talk to him hoping to make him see and understand your side of the story, so he doesn’t view you as the cause of the death of innocent kids and their mothers.  

You hurriedly and quietly make your way towards Soap’s room, and you faintly see an orange light seep out from the bottom of Soap’s door at the end of the hallway meaning he was still awake and hopefully it gives you the opportunity to clear the misconceptions. Once you reached the door you rapidly knocked on the door and waited. Upon knocking at the door, you hear a commotion go inside his room thinking he might have fallen you swing open the door and your eyes land on Soap’s bed, and he was naked with another woman. You stood there shocked, and they also froze into place while your eyes quickly glanced around the room. Different clothing and undergarments were spread across the room. But the last straw was when your eyes landed on a tied used condom on the floor. It triggered a huge turmoil within you and your heart shattered into a million pieces and your blood started to burn through your veins. But after a few seconds in silence, the other woman was the first one to react to cover herself and try her best to quickly change and bolt out the door. Soap did the same and right before he could chase after her he stopped in front of you. “Why are you so pissed off that I am enjoying MY free time with other women, huh? You know damn well that you and I aren't a thing and especially after the bullshit you pulled today, you are worthless to this team, and you are nothing to me. You can’t do anything that you are told, and it is basically taking care of a fucking child. I also do not understand why are you crying if you were the cause of their deaths. You are responsible for them and all the emotions you are feeling right now it is all thanks to you.” The moment those words reached your ears it felt like someone had crushed and crumbled your soul. Once you saw Soap sidestepping to leave you standing at his door you weakly grabbed his forearm and quietly whispering “I thought we had something.” He scoffs and nonchalantly said “Really? With you? Pfft! You really thought we had something? Well, let me be clear with you. Whatever you thought we had it is just work-related and nothing more.” “Then what about those nights that we spent together? Does that also mean nothing to you?” “A man can get bored every once and a while and you seem to alleviate that feeling just for a bit and that's it. Pitiful that you actually thought we were going to have something.” He simply stated while getting your hand on his arm and threw it back at you. That was the last nail into the coffin, and you don’t even bother to call him when he passes you to go after the other woman.   

Once you returned to your room you let all the tears fall like a broken dam. Your mind kept on replaying all the soul-crushing words that Soap carelessly threw at you. All the things that you thought were him giving you hints were nothing? Everything you did for him was for nothing? With that thought, new tears sprouted in your eyes, and from your bed, you saw the now dead rose and the black wrapped present teasingly looking back at you taunting you on how you were stupid enough not to see he was just using you for his mere entertainment. You got up from your bed to hold the present in your hands and that warm feeling you had every time you thought of giving it to him and accepting your advances now are completely gone. You rolled your eyes at it, ripped the note, rose apart, and threw it into the trash next to your desk. You quietly chuckled as you reminded yourself ‘It was really nothing for him huh?’ You head back to your bed sitting at the edge, the tears have long stopped but your heart still cries out in pain. So, with a heavy heart, you got yourself your secret stash of alcohol. After picking it up you put on your jacket and walk outside to the nearby forest. As you pushed open the doors, the icy freezing wind bit your nose and cheeks, and you left the walls for the night without looking back.   

“Has anyone seen Scorpion?” a voice called out in the bustling walls as Soap makes his way to the cafeteria “Ugh, what a waste of time she is,” he muttered to himself. ‘Why couldn’t Price choose a better candidate and just replace her,’ he thought. Once he got his breakfast he sat down and realized that the table seemed emptier and colder, but he couldn’t lay his finger on it. After scarfing down his food he went to the lounge room to find the Task Force acting weird and tension arose once he stepped into the room. Price was the first one to break the silence and informed him,  

“Soap, do you have any idea where Scorpion is?”  

“No sir, why?”  

“She didn’t report this morning, and no one seems to find her, and I thought you may have known something and her whereabouts.’’  

“Have you checked her room? Most of the time she is in her room after a mission so it is understandable, she might be holed up in there after her fuck up yesterday.”  

“Don't talk to her like that! Go to her room and check on her.”  

“But why me huh? You could have asked anyone before me, and you chose me?!’  

“That’s an order! Now go!”  

Soap stood in silence and stared back at Price, who just raised his eyebrows as a warning. Grumbling, Soap turned around and made his way towards your room, a path he quite remembered as muscle memory. Once at your door he knocked and called out to you, and he started to grow frustrated with the lack of response. After knocking and calling out for you the 3rd time he tried the doorknob to his surprise to know that it was unlocked. He knew you so well that you never went to bed without locking the door due to your paranoia. With the conclusion that something might have happened to you, he opened the door just to find your room empty. He steps into your room to find everything was disarranged which made his heart pump a bit faster. He started to clean up to get clues on what happened to you or where you could have gone. Then he picked up your knocked-down trash can and saw the ripped note and rose which picked on his curiosity. He then started to find the hidden message in the jigsaw puzzle of the torn paper which caused his heart to skip a beat once he read the ‘I love you, Johnny’ written in your handwriting. The lump on the bottom of the trashcan grabbed his attention which he picked up with both hands and noticed how heavy it was and ripped it apart just to see almost the same replica of his favorite switchblade that he thought was gone forever and no longer in production. He painfully started to smile as he saw the small Scottish flag and your initial on the bottom of the handle. A huge wave of sorrow washed over him as he recalled the anguished face you had when he told you all those terrible words. He remembered those huge eyes rimmed with tears and they were the same eyes you had when he saved you on your first mission, but this time, he was the cause of them, and he didn’t wipe them away.  

“Ever heard of privacy?” Your voice startled him, and he looked over your bed and see you standing at the door. You approached him with red eyes and dark circles around your eyes. He looked up at you in fear as he sees you as a grim reaper that came down to earth to collect his soul due to his sins. He quickly tried to apologize, stumbling on his words trying to find the correct words to soothe the pain he made you feel last night. You just hold your hand up to his face and told him in a voice so cold that he has never heard before,  

“Get out.” You simply told him, motioning him to leave your room  

“Wait, hold on, let’s talk about it,’’ he tried to reason with you.  

“Talk about what? You made it clear yesterday that you never wanted anything with me. Now get out!” you yelled. 

“What? I never said that and even if I did, I didn’t mean it I was drunk and couldn’t think straight. You have to understand that.”  

“Understand what?! That you got your dick wet with another woman the moment you got bored of me? And Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare. To make the excuse that you were just “drunk” and that you couldn’t think straight. Wanna know why? Hmm? Because the only people that don’t lie in this world are the kids and the drunk.” You seethe out with so much venom laced into your words so much to the point you started tearing up and your voice cracking, but you couldn’t let him see the damage he has done to you. You promised yourself yesterday to never cry in front of him ever again. With that, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, controlled yourself, and left without saying anything.  

But to him, every word you muttered to him felt like a knife was being stabbed into his heart. He didn’t even realize he started crying as he felt his hand claw into his chest as he hoped that it could go through his skin to comfort his aching heart. He tried reaching his hand onto yours to stop you from leaving but once you flinched your hand away from his touch, he retracted back his hand.   

“Don't ever fucking touch me.” That was the last thing you told him before walking away. 

A/N: HAHAaaaa! Bet you didn’t expect that did you huh? I hope you didn’t because most of the angst fanfic I have read usually when the “cheater” says that he was drunk reader just forgives him and boom happy ending. I think it is a whole bag of bull. 

A small continuation at the timeskip

#soap mw2 #soap x reader #soap call of duty #soap x you #soap x y/n #angst #cod mw2 #cod #i tried #bad ending #regret #emotional #anger #john mctavish x reader #john mctavish #x reader

[catty-words]

thoughts about wallsocket (2023) that i know you were all itching for because i've obviously convinced you all to be as head over heels for this artist as i am:

- the first listen felt a little draggy and i thought the busyness of the tracks was unfocused, which i was prepared to be bummed about because that's an element of underscores' music that i really enjoy for reasons both straightforward (sounds make brain go brrrr) and deep (as an artist, i think her preoccupation with distraction and having to be the Shiniest to hold attention - individual or cultural - really complements the production style). but!

- the good news is i fell so fucking hard for every track by the second listen and i think the inertia i felt was mainly between 'duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' and 'you don't even know who i am' and by my third or forth listen, i was finding them the most engaging tracks on the album.

- good luck being the album's mantra makes me want to suffocate on velvet idk. in context, it's as dark as the whole of boneyard aka fearmonger (2021) but there's also a through line in underscores' work of her being exceptionally lucky (see "lonesharks", "horror movie soundtrack") and it feels as much like a helpless platitude as it does like a magical spell she's casting to keep us safe. which - themes!! and things/people/circumstances being so much of one thing they loop back around to being that thing's polar opposite.

- speaking of, the johnny of "johnny johnny johnny" validating the narrator's identity while also preying on her is my favorite vehicle for that theme so far.

- "shoot to kill, kill your darlings" is the first track i fell head over heels for, on the first listen and everything. and i keep getting more out of it with subsequent listens. think of me when you listen to this one, please. 💙

- when the "kinko's field trip 2006" hit???? reader i got CHILLS. literally shivered about it and it got me on listen two and three, as well. i don't think i've fully grappled with what its incorporation into wallsocket (2023) is trying to accomplish, but i do know it worked on me, like, a little too well. gonna be insane about it for the foreseeable future, gnashing my teeth as i type this in fact.

- i've had "cops and robbers" since it was released in may and somehow it wasn't until listening today that the full story really sunk in? like, i managed to hear i resurrect the dead and i'm not the bad guy, like it's just sitting there fully for the first time today? and, god, was the good luck-ing always in the mix? songs gaining new meaning in the context of their albums my beloved. album openers my beloved.

- does "you don't even know who i am" sample claptrap from borderlands? if not, that's still what the backing mantra on the track puts me in mind of, which gives the song a very compelling 'people vs technology' read that i've been getting a lot out of.

- underscores, i am pledging my allegiance to you.

#you have not seen the last of me going bozo bozo bozo about this album promise #wallsocket (2023) #underscores #general music tag #more excited than ever to see her on 10/3!!!!!!

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Part of the convocation (part 1) - Miguel Diaz x reader

Summary: reader is Johnny's long-not-so-lost-step-niece, and she need a new roof over her head, so she finds herself back in a Dojo with him as her sensai once again. She has to train with the champion in order to be one, but she finds herself charmed by her step-uncle's favorite student, who is already hooked on someone else.

Deep breaths. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I clench my hand into a fist and raise it, placing it in front of me, fully ready to knock on door number 2 that's right in front of me.

After all this time, I don't know if John would even know who I am. If he'll recognize.

"Hey, you must be John Lawrence. I am (y/n) (l/n) but my mom's maiden name is Lawrence, Maya Lawrence" I repeat the lines I planned in my head once again, "that name might sound familiar, because she is your step-sister, from sid's old marriage. You may know, he is no longer with us, and neither is she" the voice in my head keeps going. "Okay, you got this" i mumble to myself and knock on the door.

"Hey, you must be-" I start, but the person in front of me looks way too young to be my mom's step brother. He has dark features too, and from what I remember John is a white, blond-haired, blue-eyed guy. His dark hair fall on his face messily, and his brown eyes had a kind look to them. "-not the person I was looking for, I'm sorry" I say, giving him half an awkward smile. "Uh, who are you looking for?" He asks, returning a half smile. "Diaz, who's at the door?" A voice calls from behind. "I dunno, this girl who's looking for someone" the dark haired boy who I assume is Diaz answers. "Is she a babe?" The voice calls, and Diaz lets out an unsurprised sigh. "She looks about my age, Sensei, so maybe you'd wanna take that back" Diaz calls to the mysterious older-sounding guy in the apartment. I assumed it's his dad, but after that last sentence I am not as sure. "Oh" the man says as he finally steps in my field if vision. 

The man I see in front of me is a tall, white, blond-haired, blue-eyed guy. He looks at me, confused. I guess I am staring, after all, the last time I saw this man was at my Bat mitzvah - my dad is, or I guess was, Jewish. He steps closer, squinting his eyes at me as he switches places with Diaz. "Hey, you must be John Lawrence, I am (y/n) (l/n) but my mom's maiden name is Lawrence, Maya Lawrence-" I start, but he cuts me off with a hug. It took me by surprise, honestly. "Lil (y/n)! I can't belive it, it has been forever" he says, and I hug him back. "Uh, sensei, who is this?" Diaz asks from inside the apartment. 

"This is my step niece, (y/n)" John explains, "(y/n), this is Miguel, he's my student, and my girlfriend's son".

"Hi" I say, waving at Miguel, he waves back. "So, what brings you here? Are your parents here too? I think I owe them an apology for your Bar matzvah-" "it's Bat mitzvah, I'm a girl, and-" I correct him, but he keeps going. "- I was in a bad place back then, and-" he says as he's looking around for the car I got here in, but no success. "Where, uh, where is the car? Your parents?" He asks. "They are, uh, over there" I say, pointing at the sky. He looks up, "on the balcony? There is no one on the-" John says in confusion. "Sensai, I uh, I'm sorry" Miguel looks at me with a sad smile, "I think she means that uh, they are in the sky". "What, Like, On an airplane? How did she get here before-" john says, and Miguel stares at him until the puzzle clicks in my step uncle's brain. "Oh, oh! They are  dead!" John says, a bit excited to realise, but then the realization really hits. "Oh, they are dead" he repeats. "I'm so sorry, kid. Are you staying with sid now? Did he send you here to get that glass statue I stole? Cause I don't have it, I pawned it to pay for this guy's surgery" John says, pointing at Miguel. "What?" Miguel and I mumble, confused. "Um, actually John, I was staying with sid, but he died and you are the only relative I have. Social services tried to contact you, but there was no answer, almost like you don't have a phone" I explain to him.

"I don't have a phone, I threw it on the beach!" John says, pride in his voice. "O..kay…" I reply, "anyways, John, I was wondering If I can stay with you" I finally get to what I was trying to say for the past few minutes. "Sure, yeah, sure thing kid" he says, "come on in, I was just cooking for me and Diaz". I walk behind him into the apartment. It's messy, and smells like beer and whiskey. Of course it is, what else should I expect from good ol' step-uncle Johnny.

As they cook, we chat a little, and John tells me all about the Karate-gang thing, and how his Dojo is bound to win. "Actually, this is perfect timing for you to arrive, we need a girl to kick some asses for Eagle Fang" John says. "You want me to joking your Karate gang?" I laughe, but he look as serious as can be. "Well, of course, I mean you already got moves, I remember you kicking that kid right in the balls at your Bat matzvah" he says, mispronouncing the biggest, most important even of your life once again. "I kicked him is because he kept asking where bat-man is and claimed it was false advertisement" I laughed thinking back at that night. It was all going so well, until John had one, two, ten drinks too many. "And I landed that kick because you trained me. I was your first student, I think" I say, and they both look at me, expecting me to accept the offer to join Eagle claw- no, not claw, fang. "But I bet you I don't even remember any Karate moves" I say quickly. "No, no, karate is like riding a bike" Miguel says. "After my injury, I thought I'm never gonna get back to it, I thought it was doomed. I thought I will never kick ass again, but with the help of sensai here, it all came back in an instant, my instincts were as sharp as ever and my kicks as precise as they were" he opened up as if we didn't meet nearly 15 minutes ago. It looks like these two had a connection, like my step-uncle is actually there for him. Good to know I wasn't mistaken to come here. "Fine" I say, "I'll join your convocation". "You are already having a conversation with us" John says. "Uh, john, convocation is a cloak of birds" I explain. "I knew that" he mutters, making the plates for all 3 of us. "Thank you, (y/n). I'm sure you're just what out team needs" Miguel smiles at me, and I can't help but think it is a cute smile.

The next day, I wake up to the sound of a horn held by John. "What the hell, step-uncle?" I call out to him. "You are my new female champion, you need to be trained as such" he explains. I look at him and then check the time on my phone. "It's 7am" I whine at him. "Yeah, and Miguel is already on his second lap around the building complex. Time to start some warm ups, kid" John replies to me, honking his horn once again. "Alright, alright" I mutter and get up from the couch. "This couch is not even comfortable, I'm glad to get out if it" I sigh and make my way to the kitchen to make myself coffee. "Do you have plant-based milk?" I ask him, "I am kinda lactose intolerance-" I start. "Quite!" He cuts me off. "The only thing we have intolerance  this Dojo is Losers! Lactose intolerance is for pussys!" John is half-yelling half-talking. "Um, actually, it's a medical condition. Trust me, you don't want me to consume milk products, this apartment stinks enough on its own" I say as I decide to drink some water instead of getting diarrhea. "Okay, I'll stop by the supermarket later and get you some fake milk" he says, slightly defeated, "but for now, give me 50 push ups!" He calls. "Geez, okay, step-uncle" I sigh, and get on the floor. "It's sensai for you now" he says, smiling cockingly. He seems proud to be training me. Again.

Weeks pass, and once again I wake up with a honk, this time it's 5:30am. I make my coffee and drink it as I get ready. I do my makeup lightly and put on my favorite athletic set. I open the door to see Miguel already warming up. "Hey there, (y/n)" he smiles at me as he's stretching his arms around. "Mind if I join?" I ask him, even tho this us a stupid question since that's the whole point. We've been training together almost every day, keeping each other in shape by doing some cardio every morning and practicing together at the Dojo (which I firmly believe is an abandoned storage unit my step-uncle took over without permission), even after class. In between practicing together and hanging out at school, I started developing some feelings towards him, tho I decided to put it aside. He has Sam, and I'm not a homewrecker. It's purely sport and friendship between the two of us, not the easiest thing to do but it is what I gotta do for Cobra Kai to get buried in the pages of history. Those crazy assholes are making my life, and all of my friends live absolutely miserable. We don't give them an easy time as well, but this stupid rivalry is really making my high-school life way more dramatic than I planned. Oh well, I guess I knew what I signed up for.

Saturday comes around and Miguel and I meet outside our apartments for another training session. We had those so often, i was almost scared from life after the tournament - these training sessions became part of my routine, what would I do without it? It was Miguel's turn to make the plan, and so I listened as he explained his 'incredible idea' to me.

"You gotta be kidding me" I say to Miguel. "No, I am not" he laughed, "I learned some Miagi-do, and I belive you could use it too". "Okay, then show me some moves, don't make me do chores" I replied, however I wasn't really going to argue. If it gets me some time to hang out with Diaz, I can wax on, wax off all day long. Paint a house. Whatever. Sure, it was all in a platonic spirit, but it is still getting to know him. "Come on, (y/n), we don't have all day!" Miguel calls out, and I laugh. "Yes sensai!" I call back and now before getting to work. I notice him blushing in the corner of my eye, but I ignore it. 

The hours pass and Miguel's mom car was never shinier. He tried asking Mr. Larooso for the Miagi-do studio to get me to do some chores over there, but the Dojo was full with everyone practicing for the all valley tournament so we had to improvise. John was not happy about me leaning some Miagi-do at first, but now that it meant his car was clean he suddenly approved. "Okay, Sensai Diaz, what now?" I ask as I stretch my arms. They were a little soar from all the cleaning but I could still keep going.

"Now, we see if you got it" Miguel smiles, "okay, get into position, now show me 'wax on, wax off' " he says, getting his stance right before throwing a punch at me. I move my hand in the air as if I was waxing a car, creating the perfect block to Miguel's attack. He throws another punch, and I do the same movement with my other hand, blocking him again. We go on like that for a few seconds. "That… that was actually kinda awesome" I laugh, "Thanks, Migu-" I say, and he gives me a dead Sirius look, raising an eyebrow, "sensai Diaz" I correct myself. It started out as a joke, but the entire day he only responded to me if I called him sensai. I guess he enjoyed it, since he kept getting a red tinted across his face everytime the word left my mouth. 

The next morning comes around, and Miguel and I share a ride to school with John, who was happy to see us get along. It was important to him that his "two champs", as he called us, would have good chemistry since we were the ones leading the Dojo and being an example for the other kids. We entered the school side by side, bags hanging off of one shoulder, and I imagine this would be a shlomo scene of us walking across the halls, epic 80's music in the background with a record scratch effect as Demitri and Hawk approach us. "Guys, why are you walking like that?" Demitri asked, confused, "this is not some stupid Netflix show about teens, put your bag on your back correctly, it can cause back damage to have the strap on one shoulder only". "Are you serious, Demitri? God you're such a nerd" I say, but fix my bag anyway. The last thing I need is to have a messed-up back. "Having bad posture is for losers" I could hear my step-uncle in my head, and I think Miguel had the same voice in his head cause I wasn't the only one who had both straps on now. 

"Hey guys" Devon joined us, smiling at me and sneaking a wink. I took her under my wing - she was great, pure Eagle-Fang material if I ever saw one. Lots of anger to channel in her fists, and a righteous spirit. We became friends instantly, and she was the only one who knew about my crush on Miguel. I guess that was why she winked at me. "Hey Dev" I smiled at her, "what's up?".

"Nothing much" she replies, "how about you guys, did anything fun this weekend?". I nodded, "yeah, Sensai Diaz here-" I said, motioning towards Miguel and winking at him, "-taught me some Miagi-do, we waxed his mom's car and Sansai's as well" I told the group. "Sensai Diaz?" Hawk laughed. Demitri and Devon were definitely holding back a smirk. "Are you guys gonna start calling me Sensai now?" Miguel giggled nervously. "Only if it woul'nt bother you, sensai Diaz" Demitri replied, finally giving up and realizing his laugh into the world. "Whatever, you'll forget it in a week" Miguel said, not even trying to argue. "You sure, Sensai?" Devon asked, and Miguel's confidant Faust seemed to be shaken. "Common guys, give him a break" I say, resting my hand on his shoulder, "it is disrespectful to make fun of your sensai" I add, and the group is laughing once again, this time I join them. We chat some more until I hear the bell. "Hey, common, we'll be late to class, sensai Diaz" I say once I calm down, and push him away from the group. We had very few minutes to get to room H5.

"Sensai Diaz?" Sam asked, joining the conversation. I didn't even notice her approaching us. "Yeah, it's because I taught her some Karate, it's a joke" Miguel said, his tone slightly guilty. Sam looked at me and then at him, back and forth, "oh, okay" she finally speaks, but I have a feeling that it is not okay.

After history class, which I shared with Miguel and Sam I had science with Demitri and Hawk. I started walking towards room G3, but someone is grabbing my bag and pulling me back. I take the bag off and pull it down, slamming the person who tried getting me on the ground. I fix my stance and raise my leg to throw a kick at them, but when I look down it's Sam. "Oh, God, Sam, I am so sorry" I laugh awkwardly, offering her my hand, "I thought you might be Torry, or Kyler or any of these other Cobra Kai assholes" I explain, even though from the look on her face she understood her mistake. Her nose was bleeding, but overall she looked fine. "No, I get that, I..  I am sorry I made you feel attacked" she replies as I pull her back on her feet. "So, what's up?" I ask her, and she looks at me with a strange emotion in her eye I can't quite figure out. "I, uh, I was just wondering. You do know Miguel is my boyfriend, right? There's nothing… nothing going on between the two if you?" She asks. I shake my head, "no, hell no, I'm just… part of the convocation" I say, hiding the sadness I feel about that, "and Besides his mom is dating my step-uncle, so that would kinda make us related, so it's super weird" I say, rumbling the first excuses I can think of. "Yeah, right, okay" sam smiles at me, "thanks for the talk, I need to take a right here, so, bye, (y/n), and once again, so sorry for scaring you" she says and walks away. I take the left turn and enter the class, taking my seat next to Hawk. "Guys, the weirdest thing just happen" I say, getting Hawks and Demetri's attention to tell them about the conversation I had with Sam.

"It's not that weird" Hawk says. "I mean, the way she just grabbed you is weird, i'll admit, but other than that, makes sense" Demetri agrees with Hawk. "Why? I mean, it is clear as day they are dating, why would she suspect I don't know that? Like, obviously I won't make a move on a taken guy" I sigh, desperately trying to convince them there was something off about the situation. "Look, you are a good looking girl, and you spend more time with Miguel than most of us, maybe she is a little jealous, she already lost Miguel once" Demetri explains. "Yeah, you're the girl best friends he swears she doesn't need to worry about" Yasmin joins in. I didn't even knew she was listening, tho I am not suprised. "I guess you're right" I sigh.

Class is finally over, and we all walk to the Cafeteria. "Turning on your own, (y/n)?" I hear Tory's voice. I turn to her. "What?" I ask her, and she laughs. "Don't act so innocent, it's fine, I am on your side. She deserved it, probably" Tory keeps talking, but I still don't know what the hell does she want. "I don't…" I start, but than it hits me as if someone slammed me on the ground accidentally. She is talking about my encounter with Sam earlier today. "Look, Tory, it was an accident. I only attacked cause I thought it might be you" I explain to her, even tho I don't owe her anything. "Really? Cause it's not what I just heard her tell Miguel" Tory says, and turned her back to me, walking away. "What? What the hell. Tory, hey, come back-" i call, but she ignores me. I can almost hear her little laugh, enjoining as things around her crumble. I hate that bitch, but she is not my biggest worry right now.

#cobra kai x reader #cobra kai #miguel diaz x reader #miguel diaz #miguel diaz cobra kai #cobra kai fanfic #cobra kai imagine

[lightthewaybackhome]

Home (S1: E8)

S: 840 years.

R: What?

S: That's how long it would take us to come get you by puddle jumper.

R: And you would do that, right?

S: Of course we would.

Sheppard is being sarcastic, but Rodny puts a plan in place later to rescue Sheppard 48,000 years in the future. 5 minutes into this stupid episode and I'm crying.

Home in the bigger context is just so beautiful.

Up to now, the team has felt a bit fractured. We've had Teyla not being trusted, we've had Sheppard not committed to giving his life for his team, and we've had then leave a new ally behind. Then Home, The Storm, and the Eye.

I love Sheppard and Elizabeth's little back and forth about how they're not going anywhere.

Watching this in chronological order, you immediately know something is wrong because Hammond meets Elizabeth on the other side of the Stargate. He's no longer in charge of the SG-1.

Sheppard, first to notice, because Hammond is telling him how great a job he's done. (Outcast indicates that he never heard that from his Dad, and the way the Sumner and other military leaders treat him, I don't think he's heard it from his superiors.) And it makes me sad that he knows it's wrong because things are good. Atlantis and these people become home because it's the first time Sheppard is actually wanted. Elizabeth straight up told him in their little chat that she wants him to stay. They want Sheppard when no one else on Earth does.

Rodney with no messages on his answering machine made me tear up. They want Rodney on Atlantis when no one else on Earth wants him.

Hospital for souls. The ultimate Goonies.

Sheppard looks so uncomfortable starting at the shopping trip with Teyla. The first time through I thought it was just him being grumpy about girls shopping, but now it makes my stomach turn because I know he's scrambling inside trying to figure out exactly what is going on.

The pause when he sees his Johnny Cash poster. So creepy. And it finally clicked for me why he just casually flips the bottle cap across the room instead of throwing it in the trash. This isn't home. He knows it. He knows this is totally fake.

Sheppard's head is filled with dead people. 😭😭😭

I truly think this is the most important episode in Season 1. This is when Atlantis becomes home.

Sheppard has more holes in his soul, from seeing his dead friends, from seeing his empty life on earth. But he's head home, home and healing. He's going where they want him. Rodney is going where they want him. Atlantis wants them.

The Storm (S1: E9)

I love Rodney standing in front of Weir again and again. I love Sheppard going into total warrior mode.

This is just one of my favorite "fun" episodes.

The Eye (S1: E10)

S: He'll kill them to punish me.

I don't know why, but I found this line haunting. Sheppard's greatest weakness is his people. If you want to hurt him, you hurt them.

I just love these three episodes together. I love how they realize Home is Atlantis and then they fight to save her. Rodney and Sheppard and Weir really bond in this set, along with Teyla, Carson, and Ford. They've really really settled into a great team, great friends who have each other's back. Plus, Kolya makes a great villain.

#stargate atlantis #john sheppard #sga #rodney mckay #home #the storm #the eye #sga s1 #teyla emmagan #aiden ford #carson beckett #elizabeth weir #i was supposed to switch back and forth between sga and SG-1 to stay in chronological order #but I just couldn't bear the thought of watching these three separately #I'll have to backtrack just a bit on SG-1 to get things right

[wawamouse]

Oz Rewatch 3: S2E01: The Tip

During opening titles, Sister asked “Does Mr. Mouse ever come back?”, which confirmed my suspicion that she did not register the he had died off screen. With Nino dead, Sister declared that she would simply have to keep tabs on “the little fava bean” (Rebadow). At the end of the episode when I asked if she had any new favorite characters, she said she would “have to fly her little [Sister] wings over to watch over the guy whose baby died”.

Me: Do you remember what his name is? Sister: …Is he Italian or Latino? Wait, what name does he look like… Hm…. Johnny boy! … Ernesto… Rodrigo? (*holding her temples*) Does it start with an A? Not a C name… Something like Domingo… Alvarez. Me: That’s his last name! Sister: Derek Alvarez. (after several minutes of alphabetical guessing, having reached H names) Me: It starts with an M Sister: Matt. Matteo. McManus…. Matthew… Michael? Michelangelo. Me: I think Michael is gonna be the closest you’re gonna get to it. Sister: Mikhail. Mitchell. Megan. Me: It’s somewhere around Michael and Mikhail. Sister: ........Mi...............Miguel! (cheering) Me: So Miguel is going to be your new favorite character? Sister: Yes. Mostly because I remember one of your little screencaps of him from a part we haven't gotten to yet, so I know he’s going to last. So I’m just going to put all my eggs in that basket and watch him start his little drug empire.

Anyway, time will tell if Sister turns into a Miguel fan or simply remains a Miguel observer, haha!

More on the episode itself... I really like the way this season starts! I think framing it as sort of a whodunnit/mystery investigation keeps the episode really focused throughout the runtime. Alvah Case is one of the more rational characters to come through the show, so it's really fun to see him actually trying to poke holes in people's lies and sift through the bullshit, even if ultimately no one is really held accountable for anything (although that turns out to be a save for the riot leaders, so I guess it evens out!).

Overall, I think episode 1 serves as a very good start to season 2, although I feel like the mystery of who killed Ross gets a bit tired in the middle. It's pretty obvious that it was Diane, so the red herrings that get thrown in over the course of the episode feel a little flimsy. That said, the interview style of the chase is still fun (visiting all the different characters), so I find I don't mind it.

Sister also seemed to like this episode. She liked Case, although she said he reminded her of a college admissions counselor and she was confused as to why he agreed to investigate if he's the dean of a college and presumably very busy with that. Much like S1E1, she managed to guess a lot of lines/plot points ahead of time.

Sister: Haha, surrounded by ghosts of girlfriends past.

Sister: By the lady? (Diane)

Sister, laughing: Weren't they all murdered??

Sister: He gonna bite it off… don’t do it! He gonna bite it off.

Case to Diane: And you…? Sister: Cradled him like a baby! Diane: Cradled him in my arms.

Robson's hallucination reminded me of this:

Stray/Final thoughts: Sister has been upholding the grand tradition of roasting McManus at every turn (“he’s been deteriorating rapidly. Usually when someone lands in the hospital, you say 'wow he looks terrible', but he looks the same. Didn't he used to wear suits?”, “he dresses like a 90s deadbeat dad”, “you’d think he’d try and clean up what with two ex girlfriend coworkers but he doesn’t… he’s just making it known that this is as good as it gets”)

Sister is surprised Gloria is still in the show because she doesn’t think Gloria has any story lines and her only purpose in the show seems to be shit talking the inmates and saying how bad they are at every staff meeting ("so like, why are you even here? Go open a private practice and make more money, girl, because you don't even seem to be here for the love of helping people")(me: *staring into the camera like Jim from the Office*)

Sister remains inexplicably suspicious of Sister Pete's character

I really thought Heim was going to do more in the show

Sister's out here thinking s2 is going to focus on the Latinos building and expanding their role in the tits trade by cornering the pharmaceuticals market. Oh how I would love to watch the version of the show in her mind where it's a prison business drama about Miguel making big money moves for El Norte 💀

Sister: People are very bald in this show

#oz hbo #oz rewatch #text

[swearingcactus]

Inspired by @mail-me-a-snail's silvervance playlist, i wanted to yell about lil v's playlist!

yelling about most of these songs continue below

First up we have: Sleeping On The Ceiling - Friday Pilots Club

there's a lot of lines from this song that fits really well with lil V's outlook, his manic energy, his willingness to crash and burn and his tendency to cut people off for it. he's even trying to convince others it's better to just leave him to his own devices ("Don't you feel just like you're floating now? When you cut me off and let me go.") it's an effort to feel okay about his situation that works 90% of the time. the song's also insanely short, like his lifespan!

Steal from the Rich, Give to Myself - Simon Viklund // Destruction - Joywave

Lil V's a merc and he doesn't mind all the blood on his hands or his career choice in general. He does, however, mind it when people try to guilt him about it and say he could 'be better'. Takemura, Hellman and Arasaka's attempts of trying to steer him--be it to give his life up to restore some so-called honor or to give his head full of data up for so-called science-- were met with his knee-jerk reaction of 'FUCK CORPOS!' so naturally by the end when he realized Hanako can't do jackshit for him either, he's pretty down with torching Arasaka Tower. Then again, this might be because he's already influenced by Johnny which brings us to the next section:

Chippin' In - SAMURAI, Refused // Red Right Hand - Arctic Monkeys // Sigh on a Hurricane - HIMALAYAS // Brianstorm - Arctic Monkeys

There was a point where Lil V's not sure about what Johnny's trying to do, what to think of him (ghost? man? terrorist? friend? enemy??). there's the obvious instinctual fear that Johnny's just puppeteering him from the inside out. Eventually Lil V decides that even if Johnny is influencing him to do stuff it doesn't count as Johnny manipulating him if he agreed to it. Johnny might be a storm but V's the sigh on a hurricane etc etc. Chippin' In is there cus out of all the SAMURAI songs we get to listen to, that's Lil V's favorite.

Used to be My Girl - TLSP

this, to me, is THE song to describe Johnny and V. Two way mirror, one-way street? Good cop, bad cop routine? Johnny being a liar and a leech, V who cheated death and is a thief? Alt mentioning that for all of Johnny's bark, he's just code as an engram and therefore 'nothing underneath'? The way if you do dont fear the reaper, V gives up his chances at love and does a spite-fueled-solo attack that Johnny wholeheartedly endorse?? The way both of them are dead already? woowee!

Mr. Sunshine - Ynxgxr1 // mr. sunshine - Arden Jones

inside you are two wolves moment. sometimes being everyone's ray of sunshine doesn't work out for lil v. "All jokes til' I start feeling like the punchline." is the key line here (and also in his personality in general)

Cha Cha Cha (Electronic Metal Remix) - Elxctro Drxgon, Käärijä

i made this playlist around the same time this song was makin the rounds. I liked the whole fast-paced sort of edgy facade fading away on the bridge for a bit when the 'narrator' starts getting drunk and becomes himself, which I think is a lot like how after his first death by Dexter DeShawn, Lil V was much more comfortable in his own skin. Also, metal remix version cus I think it fits his vibes more than the original one. Lil V's a pop-punk sort of guy!

Miracle Aligner - TLSP // Dangerous - Big Data, Joywave

i call this part 'Little V is inherently kind and gets a little scared of being loved, but doubles down and loves people harder about it'. Johnny is his best victim, considering even in canon Johnny's said how he's surprised with how V's stuck with him for 24/7 and he's still a friend.

Baby Boy - Mother Mother // Johnny - American Murder Song // Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People

this part is more Johnny than lil V, but it does work as how lil V views him. sure ol' Robert John's got some issues, but wouldn't you be upset too if you died angry and alone, and nobody even bothered to dig a grave for you? lil V genuinely thinks Johnny's fun to be around with, just got to power through his cigs and his shittalking is all. it's why he lets johnny get away with A Lot.

Rome Falls - Panicland // All I Have is My Smile - LIL DUSTY G

by the end of their run, lil v has accepted that he'd be dead trying to do the solo raid and he's made peace with it which makes the next part a big Yikes

A Kiss - THE DRIVER ERA // The Edge - Panicland

he dug himself a too perfect of a grave with Johnny, one that he can't use once he climbed out of Mikoshi alone. and nobody gets why he's upset that he didn't get his ending that night because isn't it great that you're alive, V? that Johnny's gone now? that you have a second chance again? eventually he just cuts his ties and distances himself, basically surviving for the sake of it while hoping he'll actually find a better lead that changes his mind

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

lil v at his core's just a streetkid desperate for a home, one that he keeps finding and losing in certain intervals. i like to think that even though he doesn't survive for very long after Mikoshi, he'll find something that change his mind and he finds his way back home in the end :)

There's a couple songs i didn't put in this essay, mainly there on the playlist for the cyberpunk-ish lyric vibes or because they were part of the OST that i imagine lil v actually listens to on the radio. (or also cus i made a fic/edit with them in mind) In Cold Blood's opening with binary for example, feels very cyberpunk-y so i stuck it in. other songs like Jealous Guy is put in as a SilverV-ish song cus even though Johnny and lil V aren't romantic, Johnny still hates sharing. but anw ive rambled enough so woe. OC LORE ESSAY BE UPON YE.

#this took forever to draft and post adldsf #lil guy v #woe lore be upon ye #if you wanna ask about the other songs i didnt put in i would Gladly Yell Again #'why is all i have is my smile in every single playlist you have' dont worry bout it

[totentnz]

You can chose SilverV or v/Muamar or both

🍭 What's something they can never agree on (big or small)?

🍬 Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

🍰 What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially. (Esp for SilverV 👀)

💐 What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

love day emoji asks

otp; just the two of us (v/johnny)

🍭 What's something they can never agree on (big or small)?

v wants to get him a body. he thinks it's stupid, impossible and a waste of time (he ain't wrong) but v believes he deserves another shot at life, after all if she deserves it so does he. she keeps that promise in every version of reality. (<- temperance enjoyer)

there are other, smaller things but i cannot get them out right now lmao.

🍬 Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

during the events of the game there are very few people who even know about johnny and v doesn't talk about her feelings towards the engram. rogue and kerry probably suspect that there is more going on but she never confirms it.

during au: say yes to heaven (johnny gets a body au) the two are openly dating but the world forgot about johnny silverhand and he doesn't have his prosthetic anymore so to people who don't know their backstory he's just a regular guy.

when he returns to nc after going soul searching (haha) he actually has to go look for her since she moved out of the megabuilding apartment and they were strictly no-contact. kerry points him to where she currently resides (northside apartment + her motorcycle shop) so i would say he's a supporter. v was very good at making almost no friends during their time together so there is no one else. (this sounds a bit sad but it really isn't)

her brother vincent is a bit on the fence about her dating her aneurism but he's glad she found a genuine lover.

🍰 What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially.

all my tags for cyberpunk are song names! (because most quests are also named after songs and the whole game is a big love you letter to music!!) so this is actually pretty easy!

Just the Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) - Grover Washington, Jr.

Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us Building castles in the sky Just the two of us You and I We look for love, no time for tears Wasted water's all that is And it don't make no flowers grow Good things might come to those who wait Not for those who wait too late We gotta go for all we know

there are many more! since i'm a temperance ending enjoyer there is also this pretty recent addition.

Temperance - Royal & the Serpent

I don't think that I could ever be More than just a sick catastrophe Drowning in my asininity Hoping you won't ever want to leave I don't even know the reason why I've been up all night just getting high All I wanna do is run and hide I'm afraid that you might say goodbye [...] I don't think that I could ever be More than just a sick catastrophe Now that we have tasted misery Promise me that you won't ever leave

some honorary mentions:

Maybe My Soulmate Died - iamnotshane

Maybe my soulmate died, I don't know Maybe I don't have a soul

you know, johnny is her soulmate and he literally died. that's it, just those two lines.

Not My Type: Dead As Fuck 2 - Motionless In White

She loves me 'cause I like to give head like a zombie (I) eat, eat, eat 'til her insides are on me She loves me 'cause I give head like a zombie (I) eat, eat, eat and nobody's gonna stop me And in the glow of the pale moonlight She goes for a spin on my haunted hayride Tried out the living but I don't believe the hype 'Cause if she's got a pulse, then she's not my type

this is more of a joke than anything else, again both of them died and i know johnny is a liar but i do believe he gives head like a zombie.

💐 What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

i made a post some time ago about mundane things johnny and v do during the time they share a body. (also apparently my proper blog page is back now and christ alive do i need to update it lmao)

obviously during the game they do everything together, johnny is annoyed at those mundane things at first and frankly v is annoyed by shit like having to do laundry as well, not because of his presence but because she could do without it.

in au: say yes to heaven they spend some time being a boring couple, getting takeouts, sleeping in, going to the movies etc. eventually johnny suggests v should also leave nc for a bit. to everybody's surprise she actually she agrees (she's finally healing) and they go on a roadtrip! (we love that trope)

they drive down to atlanta to visit vincent and even go to one of kerry's concerts during his tour!

otp; baggage (v/muamar, set in au: everybody wants to rule the world - collab au where v didn't do the heist)

🍭 What's something they can never agree on (big or small)?

whether or not they should be dating LMAO mu is very much in love with v but she is annoyed by scared of that. they are constantly on and off. she eventually breaks up with him for good but she's not happy with that, he respects her choice though. (they truly are too old for that type of shit tbh)

🍬 Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

viv! (@bishicat hello bestie <;3) after her and v reconnected she's shocked and happy to hear she's seeing someone! v tells her to calm down about it since it's not that serious and she keeps teasing her about it.

viv also thinks its funny she's dating an ex-corpo, after all their friendship literally (temporarily) ended when she started working for arasaka. to v it's entirely different because muamar made the choice to leave while she was kicked out.

🍰 What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially.

Baggage - Rare Americans

Should we start lovin', give this a try? You got baggage, but so do I You got baggage, but so do I Let's give it a try [...] This love is like a business It could drive us both insane Blind emotion leads to commotion But part of me likes that game Part of me wants the chaos And part of me walks alone What am I doing, who am I foolin' It's a life spent on your own [...] I've spent my whole life running I've spent my whole life running from myself

so let's unpack this (haha) as i mentioned before v wants him but she also doesn't. after her and viv get johnny his body back the three of them go on a roadtrip (i told you we love this trope) and muamar joins them! it was viv's idea and v was happy to have him along since the idea third-wheeling for weeks on end gave her hives.

she's actually happy for the first time in her life and they are a real, genuine couple. they even say "i love you", if you can believe it.

but because this cannot last (i cant stand the idea of her being happy leave me alone) once the trip comes to and end so does their relationship. i like comparing it to a dying pet, you know they are dying so you take them on a last trip to the park.

💐 What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

once you finish all of mu's gigs he tells you he wants to stop being a fixer right? and expand on his car business? (i might be wrong here, it's been a minute since i actually played)

the moment they started fucking dating they ended their professional relationship (kind of): she stopped taking gigs from him but is more than happy to steal cars for him LMAO.

she encourages him pursue his passion for cars. with v being a lowkey (motorcycle) mechanic herself, they bicker over cars vs. motorcycles a lot but also bond over their shared interest.

other than that there isn't much due to v's reluctance to get any more emotionally involved .

#sammy says shit #THANK YOU #otp; just the two of us #otp; baggage #also i could talk about my v playlist for HOURS (there are 307 songs and its constantly growing) #long post #also every time something is in () and small font imagine me whispering it

[bluepoodle7]

#Shezow #ThinkingAboutReviewingEachEpisode #ColdFinger #Sheviews #MyThoughts

(Images and video not mine but links are there.)

Episode 1 Part 2 Coldfinger

I really like the title cards this show has and they remind me of The Fairly Odd Parents title cards.

Buttwipe really be like a kid friendly parody version of this show though.

Jackass (franchise) - Wikipedia

I guess the Senor Blowtadas Spicy Hot Chipadillas are like if Doritos and Takis collaborated together.

I like it that Maz was like I'm glad those old folks didn't get hurt by our marble trick and Guy was like that's cool we got those old folks doing a cheerleader pyramid trick.

I know where Guy's priorities are.

Apparently there is a one day Shezow comic con which is interesting.

Also the poster has the new Shezow plastered everywhere which is strange.

I wonder who took these images of Shezow to make these?

Because in the pilot episode Shezow was in the Shehicle with Kelly and accidently crash into the  Pushy Pirate Posse's pirate ship to "defeat them".

Also guy was just about to walk away from his responsibilities but his sister is the president so she had to push him in gear.

Also Guy is spooked of bugs.

This is the I suck at answering question so here is a listening device that will mess up when you need it the most episode.

Here we go.

Guy is slowing getting progressive. Like the "Come to papa." and Maz is like "Don't you mean mama?" And Guy is like "Depends on what I'm wearing." 13:58-14:06

I strangely remember that line from when I first watched this show.

We finally get to see Coldfinger and I really like his design especially his ice wolverine claws he can do.

He already makes ice puns right out the gate.

He was the past president of the Shezow fan club before Kelly replaced him.

He was late on his dues and I would love to know what that means.

I would like to know more about his past.

Like was he born a ice person or science made him that way?

Also seems like him and his mom have a ice company business. Good thing they are set up shop in Megadale.

He is way older than Guy but the wiki says he's 17 but I thought he was 14 when I first saw him but I'm not sure.

His real name is Timmy and he has that Big Bang Theory Mom talks off screen joke.

He loves cold cuts but I wonder it's the meat kind or just cut up ice?

Cold Finger is a parody of Gold Finger from 007.

He really is the Shezow version of  Brain Freezer from Johnny Test.

Cold Finger (Character) | SheZow Wiki | Fandom

Brain Freezer | Johnny Test Wiki | Fandom

Someone on youtube said this Coldfinger face should be a meme at 19:40 but it reminds me of Professor Oak's and Imposter Professor Oak's face.

Pokemon Role-Play - Kanto: Professor Oak's (please come here before you start your adventure) Showing 1-15 of 15 (goodreads.com)

Impostor Professor Oak Concepts - Giant Bomb

Hey we get Maz's first costume Meatier Man and he's got the Lady Gaga meat outfit going on that attracts not only smell but all the dogs in the tri state area.

I feel bad for Cold Finger (Timmy) he just wanted to ask his question but was interrupted and skipped over.

He probably wouldn't have attacked if you just let the man tell his question Kelly.

The "We're just friends." line at 17:31. I wonder what that question was about?

My guess is for Tara.

My favorite scene. 18:07-18:13

I like it how Maz just walks up on the fight to tell Guy that they won the contest.

That's pretty rude.

Also the title card image pose returns at 18:31.

Cold Finger can summon snow people which is pretty cool but I guess this might be the last time we see them.

I like it that Cold Finger was like um actually Shezow doesn't have a sidekick.

He says "That's what he smells like." To the number two joke then says "You're dead meat pork chop." as he just pokes Maz.

Finally Guy uses his laser lipstick on non humanoid enemies which is cool.

I feel sorry for the snow people but Shezow called Cold Finger a snowflake.

Then the show finally explains the hair messing up mechanic that Shezow loses all powers.

19:52-20:03

Then later telling the solution later.

20:11-20:14

We almost lost Shezow if Shelia wasn't there to tell him.

Also if his ice claws break it hurts him. Interesting.

My favorite poses.

20:21-20:24

The show just put a beating up the bad guy montage with a heavy handed super she slap like a final smash to end the fight.

Shezow says "Mine's bigger. What to play patty cake ice man?" This is after Cold Finger looks at his hands.

While causing property damage when she slapping him into the parking lot then Cold Finger makes a ice pun by himself with no on around.

20:44-20:51

I like it that Cold Finger is like going full nature then is like ooh ice cream person is here.

I like it that Maz can do a fake man's voice like he's from looney tunes and even doing a food version of a hot foot joke that cartoons do.

That blew my mind that was Maz because his silhouette was the meat costume.

21:20-21:22

I like it that Cold Finger didn't ask how much the ice cream was or even check what he just ate.

Then later checked then melted.

I guess he was born frozen.

They forgot to unfreeze Kelly and at the end she shows up drenched and if the show wasn't 22 minutes then they would have did that we forgot something joke with Kelly still frozen today or would have had Maz save her off screen.

At the end guy says a ice pun to Kelly then it just ends.

This show talks about the change mechanic where it's the danger sense that can change him or "You Go Girl" changes him then "She Yeah" changes him back.

22:42-23:16

I give this a 8/10.

SheZow S01E01 SheZow Happens & Coldfinger - YouTube

#Shezow #Thinking About Reviewing Each Episode #Cold Finger #Sheviews #My Thoughts

[goodtojisoo]

ilichil as seventeen songs

a/n i couldn’t think of anything and i’m in writers block so i’m shocked i came up with this..? but nct and svt are two of my ults and i love our neoteen crumbs we get every other few months so heres this. stream all of the songs mentioned btw!

with taeil i had to debate a little bit. i even used a randomized wheel thingy and nothing seemed right but i thought about it.. and i’d say our dawn is hotter than day OR come to me. that entire album reminds me of him but mainly those two. especially as a vocalist, i couldn’t imagine him doing a cover to one of those songs. i’d simply just pass AWAY bro omg.

now taeyong wasn’t too hard to find. i thought he’d be just a hhu song but then i remembered his alter ego, bubu. i chose crazy in love for taeyong. tbh i still have a small doubt for him being this song but seungcheols rap in the beginning reminds me of him. especially the tone when he says “blah lah lah”. plus it’s a sweet song in my opinion so the pre-chorus is very taeyong imo.

for johnny i literally just thought about my favorite mingyu era and i WOULD say hot until i remembered the absolute bangers on that album. so instead, i said shadow. i don’t know what it is about johnny but him and mingyu remind me of each other so much. sticker johnny 🤝 shadow mingyu

ironically i chose a japanese song for yuta but THERES A GOOD REASON. i’ve been a consumer of nct content for exactly 826 days and i can assure you that betting is yuta. that song just sounds like you’d listen to it and think about scamming the rest of your way through life. to be honest it was either betting or lilili yabbay because the song has such a interesting concept too. i just said betting because of my favorite jeonghan line, “yes ima bet my all”

i had a similar problem with doyoung like i had with taeil. i just didn’t know like i really had to sit and think about it for a good minute or two. i think doyoung is lie again since it’s nice and slow you know? and like i said for taeil, if doyoung covered this song i would ascend to heaven.

oh gosh jaehyun.. jaes was actually kind of easy? i did think about it for a little bit but i didn’t use as much brainpower as i did with taeil and doie. jaehyun is DEF lean on me. if him and wonwoo just did a collab where they covered lean on me it would be so freaking amazing. all caratzens would be dead i SWEARR

jungwoo is kidult. when you read the lyrics not only do you want to bawl your eyes out but a small, very small, extremely small part of your brain is screaming, “JUNGWOO. JUNGWOO OH MY GOSHHHH”. and i’ll admit i have cried to kidult a few times.. i’m listening to it right now and the tears are coming but i’m fighting them 🫰

THIS WAS THE HARDEST ONE. i listened to my entire seventeen playlist and scrolled through mark pictures on pinterest. after some thinking and a few headaches i have came to an conclusion, mark is fronting. yes you heard me right. that song where vernon starts with “yea, she said she loves my rap”. that song. IT’S JUST SUCH A MARK SONG LIKE THE BEAT THE LYRICS ARE JUSF SO PERFECT FOR MARKIE POO.

i don’t think this song is really popular amongst carats but if you know this song i love you. haechan is no f.u.n. like i dunno i think his voice would fit a song like this. if they featured him on this i’d listen to this more than i listen to my therapist (which is almost never)

#seventeen #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #moon taeil #johnny suh #taeyong #nakamoto yuta #nct jaehyun #doyoung #jungwoo #haechan #mark lee #svt

[wonkyreads]

Every year I challenge myself to read outside of my comfort zone and in recent years that’s meant a distinct lack of five star reads. This year’s no different as I only reached fifteen, but looking back on it not all of my top ten ended up being five star reads. Sometimes it’s a book that was almost perfect and stuck with me anyway. Sometimes it had major flaws, but meant so much to me I have to love it anyway. I don’t believe and going back and changing my snap-decision ratings because I clearly felt them at one point, but I’ll let this list be more reflective of how I feel now.

So, without further ado:

My Top 10 Best Reads of 2022

10. Dreams Lie Beneath by Rebecca Ross

- My entire review on Goodreads for this is “no notes” and I feel like that says more than I ever could. In Azenor, nightmares come to life on the full moon. Clementine and her father are there to fight them, but when they’re ousted from their village, Clementine seeks revenge. I adored the characters and their choices and the world-building. Honestly, no notes.

9. Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson

- Warbreaker is not my favorite Sanderson book, but it’s still a Sanderson book. Which makes it very good. Warbreaker follows two princesses, the God King one of them must marry (and all the politics that come with that), a bored lesser god playing detective, and an immortal with loads of baggage (and a talking sword). I think this book is so interesting to talk about because it presents so many sides to a couple different arguments, though I’m partial to the conversation this book has about religion. Sanderson delves into religious conversations often (in a good way), but I think it shines best in Warbreaker. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the arguments I got to have after it.

8. The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik

- The Golden Enclaves is the third and final book in Novik’s Scholomance series so I’m not going to give much plot away. Basically there’s a magic system using language, a bunch of monsters attempting to eat children, and a school built to stop that from happening built in the void becoming a bit of a gauntlet. I think this was a fantastic end to the series and it re-contextualized everything I thought I know in the best way. I wanted to turn around and reread the whole thing again, which is high praise from me as I’ve only felt that way once before.

7. House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski

- Told in nesting story lines, House of Leaves is about an aspiring tattoo artist named Johnny Truant and a dead blind man named Zámpano and a prize-winning, globe-trotting photographer named Will Navidson. Or maybe just one of them. Or maybe none of them. On the surface it’s about Navidson moving into a house with his family, documenting it on film because he doesn’t know how to stop working, and then the book quickly spirals into varying levels of insanity. This book is written in a way that is meant to make you feel crazy. It’s a pure joy to dig into, but it’s definitely not for everyone. There are passages that must be read in a mirror, a letter in the references that needs to be decoded, hidden messages in footnote markers, and a chapter that is itself truly a labyrinth. It’s so easy to understand now how people become obsessed with it. I could talk about it for hours, honestly.

6. Babel by RF Kuang

- Babel follows Robin Swift, orphaned in Canton and whisked away to London to be properly raised and trained to go to Oxford’s Royal Institute of Translation. The magic system and history this book gives us is such a beautiful way to get across Kuang’s messages. I genuinely thought this was going to be my book of the year, but that drag in the middle I kept trying to forget about definitely still exists. It’s an incredibly ambitious book, there’s bound to be flaws. In my heart it still wins, but rationally, there were books I enjoyed more. Just know that I utterly adored everything about this, except some of the pacing.

5. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis

- I’m not sure how to explain this book outside of just the fact that it’s brutal. Told through the perspectives of three very different characters, this book explores rape culture and sexual assault and does so unflinchingly. Seriously, don’t read this book unless you know you can handle that because I truly mean BRUTAL when I say it. This book left a mark and it fully intended to. The conversation The Female of the Species provided was met with equally strong characters, grim humor, and a fantastically tight plot line. Just all around a great, dark read.

4. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

- Making this list is forcing me to recognize how often the books I love are just incredibly harsh, brutal things. Hell Followed with Us is about a near dystopian/apocalyptic future where a fundamentalist cult infects people with bio weapons and a ragtag group of young survivors living out of an old LGBTQ+ Center attempt to fight back. It follows an insanely diverse set of characters and tells a story filled with so much rage and religious abuse that it genuinely had me gasping for air at times. This book has a decently long list of trigger warnings, including body horror and religious themes, but my god is it so underrated and worth the read. There are lines in this book that I’m still thinking about and I read it all the way back in July.

3. Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree

- And now a swift departure from dark, heavy books. I didn’t know what to expect from this book when it’s tagline boasted low to no stakes. I was worried I’d be bored or that the editing would lack in ways I’ve been seeing more and more in my latest book choices. Instead I got the most adorable fantasy about Viv, who just wants to settle down into something softer. She’s spent years adventuring and doing questionable and violent things, but things don’t have to stay what they started as. She throws all of herself into opening a cafe in a city that’s never even heard of coffee and struggles with that while picking up the most beautiful found family I’ve read in a while. Don’t be put off by the lowness of the stakes, this book feels like a warm cup of coffee, but it has its drama too. This book means so much more to me than I went in expecting and it’s not often I read a book that I’m genuinely grateful to have read.

2. Letters to a Young Poet by Ranier Maria Rilke

- I’ve loved Rilke’s poetry for a long time and so this collection of letters has been on my TBR for years. I should have read it sooner. These letters provide pages and pages of advice, less about poetry and more about life, and they do it so beautifully. What gets me about these letters, though, is their context. Rilke is taking time to send them to a young man he doesn’t know who’s begging him for advice when Rilke himself has barely made it out of his own woods. These are correspondences between two young men, just steps away from each other in their walks of life, both still looking for clarity. They’re beautiful words I know I’ll read again and again. The annotating I did and will continue to do with this book is insane.

Honorable Mentions

1. Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

- A slow build into utter chaos that made me want to read more of Crichton’s brand of science fiction.

2. You’d Be Home By Now by Kathleen Glasgow

- A beautiful and heartbreaking exploration of the opioid epidemic. Another great book from Glasgow.

3. Nemesis Games by James SA Corey

- Easily my favorite in this series (so far). The stakes were so high, I loved every perspective, and for the first time I wasn’t questioning plot choices.

4. And Every Morning the Walk Home Gets Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman

- Short and sweet, made me cry in under 100 pages. It reminded me so much of Saturn by Sleeping at Last.

And last, but not least, #1:

What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson

- The seventh book I read this year (out of 153), this criminally underrated masterpiece still has my whole damn heart. It’s beautiful, thoughtfully written, and just absolutely, brutally violent. What Beauty There Is follows two teenagers with a lot on their plates as they struggle to make decisions that affect lives, not just their own. Jack has to take care of his younger brother now that his mother’s gone and plans to track down the drug money that sent his father to prison. Ava’s been taught to trust no one and lives a life of isolation with no control until her father goes after the same drug money Jack is desperate to find. They both have to make very tough choices on what to do and who to trust. This book hurts. It promises at the beginning that things will only get worse, but watching it all unravel filled me with so much anxiety and dread and hope that I’m quite certain this book will haunt me for years to come.

#booklr #top ten best #2022 #my reviews #dreams lie beneath Rebecca Ross #Warbreaker Brandon Sanderson #house of leaves mark z Danielewski #what beauy there is Cory anderson #Babel rf kuang #the female of the species mindy McGinnis #the golden enclaves Naomi novik #hell followed with us Andrew Joseph white #legends and lattes travis baldree #letters to a young poet Rainer Maria Rilke #Jurassic park Michael Crichton #nemesis games James sa corey #and every morning the walk home gets longer and longer Fredrik Backman #you’d be home now Kathleen glasgow

[emergency-51]

Emergency! Fandom Intro

A/N: Not really an “intro” per se because I’ve been here for a while, but I found this, and I thought I’d answer a few formal introduction questions! 

OP: @johnnys-green-pen  ... an amazing blog that you should totally check out!

1. How’d you find this show and the fandom? How long have you been here?

My mom grew up in the 70s and Emergency! was her favorite show growing up. It inspired her so much that she’s been a paramedic pretty much all my life! I started watching Emergency! when I was like six. As far as the fandom, I just kind went searching through the tags on here and found the community!

2. What made you stick around?

I just love the people in this fandom! It’s a small community, but I love it. 

3. Who’s your favorite character?

Johnny. Has been since day one.

4. Are you a shipping kind of person? If yes, what are your favorite ships?

Ehhhh. Not particularly a shipper. Platonically, though, Roy and John.

5. Favorite moment/scene/quote? Yes, you can pick more than one.

• One scene that stands out to me is when Dr. Morton is talking to the singer who overdosed on tranquilizers and she’s talking about how her career is finished and he tells her that he doesn’t believe that it is — it always touched me idk.

• Another is the episode with the big brushfire (Season 3) and Roy is talking to the wife of the fireman who got badly hurt and she says to Roy: “What’s worse than a complaining wife?” And Roy says, “A wife that doesn’t care.” — that one always makes me tear up.

• In season 2, the episode called “Seance” has a scene where they repeatedly report to a house of this couple where the wife thinks her dead sister is haunting them (I won’t get into it) but during one call, the husband asks Johnny and Roy to scope out the house and it’s always been funny to me because they’re actually scared they’ll find a ghost.

6. Do you have a favorite episode? Feel free to pick one per season if you can’t decide. 

• Season 1: “Botulism”

• Season 2: “Virus”

• Season 3: “Snakebite”

• Season 4: “Smoke Eater”

• Season 5: “Involvement” and “The Nuisance” -- I couldn’t pick just one.

• Season 6: “Loose Ends”

7. Most underrated character, either among the fandom or one of the writers never utilized to their full potential?

I would say either Stoker or Morton. I know Stoker wasn’t really intended to be a main character but I just always liked him and his occasional lines/appearances. Morton I feel like had a few episodes where he really shined but I think they totally could’ve done more with him.

8. One thing you’d have liked to see more (or less) of in the show?

ROY’S PERSONAL LIFE!!!! We hear about Joanne and the kids ALL THE TIME and I think we see her like once. I would’ve loved an episode where Joanne or one of the kids are a main plot point.

9. Do you have a fanwork recommendation for us? Fic, art, video, whatever?

I wish. I hardly can find any fan work :(

10. Any fanworks you’d like to see?

Literally all of it. I’m also involved in the Harry Potter fandom and I’ve been spoiled with the endless amount of content there. 

11. Any favorite headcanons you’d like to tell us about?

Brackett has a pet turtle. 

12. Free space! Anything else you’d like to mention!

This was fun, and I love this fandom <3

#E! intro meme #ask game #emergency! ask game

[fancoloredglasses]

Mortal Kombat (My spellchecker is gonna kommit suicide by the end of this), Part 1

(Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes)

[All images are owned by Midway Games NetherRealm Studios and New Line Cinema Warner Bros Discovery. Please don’t sue me or deliver a fatality]

(QUICK NOTE: If the header of this review isn’t enough of a klue, I will be writing this in the style of the game (sorta), which means words that begin with a certain phonetic sound with be spelled...differently. And if you find it hard to read, imagine how hard it was to write!)

In 1992 in arcades across America (and likely other kountries, but I’ve never been to any of them so kan’t konfirm) a game appeared that changed the arcade game dynamic for years to kome. That game, of kourse, was Mortal Kombat.

The plot of the game (such as it was) involved a deadly pit fighting tournament known as Mortal Kombat (naturally) where the heroes of Earth face off against the kombatants of a realm known as Outworld, led by the sorcerer Shang Tsung, the right hand of Outworld’s emperor Shao Kahn (and also presided over the tournament and was the Final Boss, so there wasn’t any konflict of interest or anything)

It wasn’t the graphics, though they were as realistic as 1992 kould make them. It wasn’t the gameplay; it was a fairly standard fighting game in that respect. No, what set the game apart (and sent parents groups nationwide into a frenzy) was how graphic it was.

(Thanks to Kraig...err, Craig Steelyard)

However, the game was popular enough that New Line Cinema made a movie about it three years later that featured all of the karacters from the first game (plus a few from the second in kameos). Now, a movie based on video games was a very new koncept (there were only 2 released before Mortal Kombat) and it wasn’t until 2019 that kritics thought a video game movie was "fresh” (over 60% positive reviews), but just because the kritics panned it (only 45% liked it) doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun. 

So let’s see how they turned one of the most graphically violent video game franchises of the 90s into a PG-13 film. If you would like to watch the film, it’s available with a Max subscription or you can find it behind your favorite paywall.

We open at a temple in China where a monk named Chan Kang is konfronted by…

…Shang Tsung, who makes short work of him and konsumes his soul (yeah, that’s kinda Shang’s Thing) as he screams for his brother…

…Liu Kang, who wakes up in a kold sweat. He receives word that Chan is dead and to return to China (he’s kurrently somewhere in the US)

Meanwhile in Hong Kong…

Lt. Sonya Blade (leader of an unspecified US agency strike team) is preparing an assault on…

…an underground koncert? Anyway, she and her team bash their way through the krowd looking for…

…the krime lord known as Kano, who is in kahoots with Shang Tsung. Shang Tsung has manipulated events such that Sonya will follow Kano onto the boat bound for the Mortal Kombat tournament, with a warning that Sonya must reach the tournament unharmed.

Elsewhere in a nondescript warehouse in Los Angeles…

(Thanks to Fandango)

No sooner does Johnny Cage (how kome his last name starts with a “C”?) leave then “Master Boyd” changes form into…

So Shang Tsung is backhandedly recruiting the kombatants who will oppose him? Why would he do that?

Later at the temple, Lui has kome home to discover that Chan was to participate in Mortal Kombat when Liu left the temple. Suddenly, he decides he will enter Mortal Kombat to avenge Chan. Then the temple gets a visit from…

…Lord Raiden, God of Thunder and Lightning (played by Kristopher…err, Christopher Lambert, who speaks with a French accent despite playing a Chinese god)

[FUN FACT: Lambert is very nearly blind. In fact, he was doing all of his swordplay in the Highlander films when he kould barely see!]

Raiden questions Lui’s kommitment (revenge vs. saving the world), but Lui storms off to katch the boat to the tournament. Raiden doesn’t like this…

[NOTE: in the games Raiden is a playable karacter, but in the movie he’s little more than a koach]

That evening at a seedy pier in Hong Kong, Johnny and Liu arrive but start on the wrong foot (Johnny tries paying Lui to bring his luggage on the boat, so Lui throws Johnny’s luggage into the bay)

Meanwhile Sonya is staking out the pier with her partner Jackson “Jax” Briggs (one of the karacters from the second game) in search of Kano when...

…an ominous-looking junk (I’m not kasting shade on the quality of the kraft. That’s what those types of boats are kalled) enters the bay. Sonya spots Kano boarding and immediately rushes aboard without backup. She immediately runs into Johnny (literally)…

…and they get along swimmingly. I’m starting to think Johnny isn’t exactly a people person.

Sonya goes below deck, where she runs into Shang Tsung. Johnny and Liu kome down for support (for some reason)

Pretty much.

Then we get the appearance of the last two playable karacters from the game…

Sub-Zero

and Scorpion

(Fun Fact for those who have not played the game: later versions of the game had an increasing number of ninja dressed like Sub-Zero and Scorpion. The reason is obvious: a quick kolor change and a kouple of unique special moves and it’s a whole new karacter! They saved a ton on graphics and koding kosts!)

Shang Tsung brags that he has full kontrol over the two, despite their being mortal enemies. Sonya draws her weapon on them, but Sub-Zero…

…yeah (that’s kinda his thing in the game)

Meanwhile, Scorpion…

OK, in the game, Scorpion shoots a barbed line at his opponent from…somewhere (“GET OVER HERE!”) This take on the line is both kooler and WAY kreepier!

Then a ball of lightning appears in the hold and morphs into…

Raiden reminds Shang Tsung that the tournament hasn’t started yet and tells him to bring his attack dogs to heel.

Of course, this is the first time Sonya has heard she’s in a tournament and isn’t too happy about it. Raiden then explains to the three what’s at stake.

After Raiden has info-dumped the importance of Mortal Kombat (and why, out of the dozens of others on the junk, they are the Chosen Ones)…

…we are treated to bad special effects, announcing the arrival to the tournament.

What dangers await the Heroes of EarthRealm? Check out Part 2 and find out!

#mortal kombat #christopher lambert #Fan Colored Glasses

[cloudsmovingcastle]

🔊🔊🔊 (that's one 🔊 for each member of the sea salt trio)

[palpatine voice] yeeeeeeeees. (Thank you Ash, you're the best <3)

Under a cut because this got looooooong:

Alright, starting with Axel, we've got "This Is How I Disappear" by My Chemical Romance. (Spoiler alert: every single song in this post is an MCR song.) I personally interpret this song as being sung by Axel to Roxas, and possibly even Xion. We've got these lines from the first verse:

There's things that I have done / You never should ever know

That I think are pretty self-explanatory, given what he did in the Org. And then we have the bridge, which gives me all sorts of feelings:

Can you hear me cry out to you? / Words I thought I'd choke on figure out / I'm really not so with you anymore I'm just a ghost / So I can't hurt you anymore / So I can't hurt you anymore

I personally see this as being Axel's thoughts either shortly before, or pretty soon after Roxas joins with Sora. And then lastly, we have my favorite line in the whole song:

You wanna see how far down / I can sink?

This line never fails to remind me of Roxas and Axel's fight in the Old Mansion in KH2, and it fucks me up every time. I love it. Also, honorable mentions go to "The World is Ugly" and "The Light Behind Your Eyes" which are both great songs to listen to if you wanna cry about Axel mourning Roxas and Xion.

Okay, next up, we have Roxas! For him, I have: "Famous Last Words." I personally think this song can work as Roxas singing to Xion. We've got the chorus:

I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone / Honey, if you stay, you'll be forgiven / Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Which I think can work as Roxas trying to convince Xion to stay, instead of joining with Sora. And then there's the bridge:

Cause I see you lying next to me / With words I thought I'd never speak / Awake and unafraid / asleep or dead

I interpret these lines as giving voice to Roxas' fear of losing Xion for good after he learns the truth in Days, and the uncertainty of their future at that point. Honorable mentions given to "Summertime" and "The Ghost of You" both for the vibes and for working well as rokushi songs.

Last, but certainly not least, we've got Xion! I already talked about two songs that I feel fit them well in this post, so for this one I'm just gonna talk about "Bulletproof Heart." This is one of my personal favorite MCR songs (Danger Days is a good album and anyone who thinks otherwise can personally fight me), and I think it works really well if you think of it as Xion singing to Roxas. We've got the pre-chorus:

The papers say / "Johnny, won't you come back home?" / Cause everybody knows you don't / Wanna give yourself up / Tell the truth and God will save you

Which, admittedly, I like more for the vibes than anything else, but I think "You don't wanna give yourself up" is pretty self-explanatory. I also think the last line works pretty well for Roxas and Xion, since I do think that the two of them having to give themselves up to Sora almost feels like divine judgment in a sense. Christian doctrine often speaks of repenting and surrendering oneself to God, with the idea being that the repentee needs to give up their autonomy and instead live their life "as God wills it." I can't help but draw some parallels between that and what happens to Roxas and Xion. I know that's mostly my religious trauma talking though.

Moving on, we have the bridge, which gets really heartbreaking really quickly:

And though I know how much you hate this / Are you gonna be the one to save us / From the black and hopeless feeling / Will you mean it when the end comes reeling? / Hold your heart into this darkness / Will it ever be the light to shine you out? / Or fail and leave you stranded? / I ain't gonna be the one left standing / You ain't gonna be the one left standing / We ain't gonna be the ones left standing

I see this as Xion thinking that the worlds need Sora more than they need Roxas or Xion, despite how painful it is. These lines in the song hit extra hard given that pretty much the entire rest of the song is talking about running away. It's like the rest of the song is Xion wishing that they could just run away from the Org with Roxas, and the bridge is them finally coming to terms with the fact that they can't do that, and deciding that they both need to return to Sora. And then we get this melancholic final chorus:

Gravity don't mean too much to me / Is this our destiny? / This world is after me, after you / Run away like it was yesterday / And we could run away / Run away, run away / Run away from here

Which I interpret as Xion wishing they could forget what they learned and just run away with Roxas instead, but their conscience won't let them.

In conclusion: I love them.

#twilight-blaze #ask #axel #xion #roxas #brot3: sanctuary #my apologies for any spelling errors and/or misquoting of canon it's late and my brain is mush