#it's not like im against the idea of self inserts it's just like. the commitment. lol

[maddgical-boy]

me trying to force myself not to create a paraself/self insert for every piece of media that crosses my field of vision

#mark stops daydreaming for a sec.txt #ironically this post is referring to how i've been watching tua lately LMAOOOO #it's not like im against the idea of self inserts it's just like. the commitment. lol #cause what if i dont end up hyperfixating and just discard the paracosm instantly #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #immersive daydreaming

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

[danidoesathing]

hiii! same anon who loved your opinions from before. omg you just do not miss i love it. do you have any satanael takes? i feel like everyone sleeps on the fact that akira's true self is Literal Actual Satan.

THANK YOU anon you have no idea how much Satanael brain rot I have. And you're so right everyone sleeps on the fact that Akira has the literal angelic incarnation of Satan and like!! why!! there's so many creative possibilities and character aspect could be made from it and just....ok I have a lot of thoughts on this man

So like the very concept of having Satanael as Akira's persona throws a lot of how akira is up in the air. While altus likes to treat him like a self insert character even though he does show signs of personality and trauma altus are just too much of a pussy to commit but he does have a general basis outside of the small moments of character in his model and dialogue options: a good albeit extra person, despite his criminal and rough background was false and he genuinely wants to help people and would never want to actively hurt someone. But the fact he has Satanael changes that whole idea. Not only that, but he is the only protagonist (at least in the past three games I can't say for p1 or p2) to actually kill the evil god of their game. No sealing him away, or banishing him, actively choosing to kill Yaldabaoth (not to say he had much of a choice, but still). It reminds me of that whole "two sides of the same coin thing" with Akechi because....really Akira never had any issue with killing Kamoshida, and likely never had any issue killing any of them but it wasn't his choice to make, and eventually they just made it a rule. I feel like the fact Akira killed someone he knew for months is not nearly as talked about as it should be, even if Yaldabaoth wasn't a human and was deceiving him (even then, Akira still knew and trusted him for months). Satanael is the devil, fallen archangel that punishes the wicked and rebels against evil. Im disappointed that the fact Akira had Satanael was never explore or even touched upon because that could be SO interesting.

Another aspect that I find fascinating (and personas in general) is the possible relationship dynamic between Satanael and Akira. Personas, Arséne especially, do show some type of sentience. Now im not gonna start in on the broken ass lore of the persona games because we'd be here all day. But ultimately they do show some personality outside of their masters (I'll gladly get into my own ideas of how ultimates work but that's a post for another time). So...ultimately the possible dynamics between Akira and Satanael could be SO interesting. The past protags all had holy gods, saviors, kings, messiah, etc, but Satanael....the lord of hell, fallen angel of rebellion, punisher of the damned, and he attached himself to a human. Why? What does he see in Akira that he doesn't see in anyone else? How does he perceive Akira? I imagine having a demon, let alone a devil being contracted with a human must mean he's rather protective and....unconvetional in those ways. Satanael likely doesn't know how humans work and it's a learning curve. He's also only really been exposed to the worst of the worst and then there's akira whos the opposite of everything he would assume of humanity. I would like to think that Satanael finding what he perceives as a pure human (not devoid of sin or flaws, but actively and constantly trying to help others without looking for anything in return. Standards of morality for a devil, you know). Like, im down with cold and distant satanael as an interpretation but ultimately im more of a fan of the idea of Satanael exploring humanity from this new angle and wanting to protect this one human he's grown attached to from the world.

#satanael my beloved #my muse #legit idk what it is but he triggers some chemical in my brain that makes it go ham #thank you so much for asking about him #dani speaks #satanael #p5 satanael #persona 5 #persona #akira kurusu #ask #asks

[ace-ace-in-yo-face]

Okay so there's something that's been bothering me and I gotta clear it up for some people.

The lovely phrase "not all men are (insert some kind of assault here)" I keep hearing from guys makes my blood boil so if u're a person that thinks like this, let me explain:

I am aware that not all men are r/pists etc. In the same way I'm aware that not all strangers I see at night in a dark alley are murderers.

But they still might be

There's always a possibility that a strange man (or ever someone u know since most assaults are committed by people we know) is gonna assault us.

Unless I trust someone 100% I'll always stay slightly on guard, I'll always have these thoughts in my head because if I tell myself not all men are like that, I'm putting my defenses down, I'm being an easy target and I'm risking something horrible happening to me.

Sure the guy standing at a bus stop with me all alone might be a nice guy but he also might be not - I don't know that, there's always a possibility and that's enough of a reason to be afraid, to be on guard.

In my 5 people friend group, 2 have been sexualy assaulted, the rest including me - sexualy harassed at some point in time. There's a person who did something horrible to one of my friends in my school and he's most probably not the only way.

And I don't hate men, Im just slower to trust them, more protective of myself because of the possibilities. And yes if u're a man it's not Ur fault that other men assault women - but it's not an excuse, if u want to be trusted show that u can be trusted, help, don't hide ur friends when u know they assaulted someone just cuz they're ur buddy.

I remember going to primary school, being a little kid and checking on the internet what to do to avoid being sexualy assaulted cuz I was scared to go home/to school on foot everyday alone. If a little kid has to do this I think we can all agree that there's something wrong in the world.

And yes women can be r/apists too, ofc they can, but when I'm at a bus stop with a guy and a girl alone I'll stay closer to her, I'll feel safer because there's empathy there, there's this understanding of a problem many men can't even see.

Now - when I bought myself paper spray i Saw in the reviews that most of the buyers were men buying it for their sister/partner/friend which was quite heartwarming and if u have someone u worry about, a sister, a partner etc. Talking to them about self defense is always a good idea and so is explaining to Ur younger siblings the problems I've talked about so far. Tell Ur small siblings how to protect themselves, what red flags to look for - the assaults that happened in my friend group all besides one happened when we were kids (around 11 or younger).

If u want to defend urself, buying a pepper spray is the best way in my opinion (if it's illegal in Ur country I'll talk about some other things in a sec).

If u want to buy one get it from a military website, not some cheap store. It may be a bit more expensive (they're not that expensive at least in my country), u don't need a huge one, just get something that can fit in Ur pocket, something u can grip tightly and that's easy to use. Mine is pink and looks like a big lipstick which helps as well. It's worth to spend some money to protect urself, u never know if u may need it.

Now for people who can't get these legally - my friend from Canada used a bear spray as a self defense item. There are very cheap spike sticks u can buy (if ur parents are against u getting a self defense item, maybe u'll be able to get away with saying that it's a Keychain since they're sold in that form too). Just type "self defense spike stick" in Google and u should get it easily. It's better than nothing - u can also keep ur keys in Ur pocket and hold them so if anyone attacks u u'll be ready to protect yourself. (if any of u knows some other ways of self defense please reblog and explain them :))

If u have any doubts or questions u can message me anytime, I'm open to discussion, please stay safe and keep people around you safe as well, take care <3

[please reblog cuz it's something that needs to be heard, thank you]

#Self defense #important #tw assault mention #awerness #awareness post #Defending yourself #stay safe

[zirkkun]

What are your views on UT!Chara? Are they good, neutral, evil (in your opinion) (No need to answer this ask if you do not want to)

hoo boy let me just. you’ve activated a Secret Essay(tm) of mine anon fbdshabl sorry i’ll try to keep it short LMAO

(under a read more just for a) length b) ut spoilers.. even tho im p sure most of you have beaten the game but who knows lol c) uhh Chara’s story is pretty dark so this has mentions of abuse and whatnot so please be aware of that ^^;;)

Morality alignment wise is like. Idk. I’m bad with assigning that half the time because it’s all subjective in a way right oh no my true neutralness surfaces like for example I wouldn’t do something I think is bad right? But someone else might think it’s bad. (Like my 16 yr old self might consider me today a terrible person just bc I like Undertale lol 16 yr old me is rude don’t listen to them) If I were to put them on a kind of DnD like alignment scale though, I think I would probably put them in a lawful neutral kind of alignment, maybe leaning a bit towards lawful evil.

But here’s the thing. Without Chara having any sort of backstory as to why they hate humans? It’s very hard for me to gauge where their motivation lies for the things that they did. Based off of what Asriel tells you when you talk to him in the Ruins, the genocide route, and the bits of narration we have, we can pretty much assume:

- Chara was pretty abusive, this is undeniably a fact even from just watching the videos in the True Lab; and while Asriel recognizes this, he didn’t want to lose them because they were the only one he felt close to. Which is likely part of the abuse they dealt by making him feel alone without them. - Chara hated humanity for reasons they would not disclose to Asriel, but it’s pretty implied that they attempted to commit suicide by jumping into Mt. Ebott. This could mean that they were abused in their past, which could in turn provide reason for their abusive nature (because, with Chara being a child, it’s very likely that they took in the personalities of those around them to make their own person up. Even though they were hurting, they didn’t exactly know why, and even still, many people with an abusive history that end up abusive themselves might not even recognize that they’re being abusive, which might be the case for Chara as well.) - Chara probably cared for Asriel. There’s a lot of things to indicate that they may have faked it or maybe it seems like they didn’t by their abusive nature towards Asriel, but it’s unlikely that Chara would fake caring about someone. If they jumped off the side of a mountain because they hated the people they were around so much, there’s very little reason for them to pretend they liked someone at the potential expense of their own happiness. More likely than not, Chara desperately wanted to keep Asriel close, but ended up being really controlling in an attempt to keep him close. Additionally, when you hug Asriel at the end of the True Pacifist route, the line “Hah... I don’t want to let go...” is said by the narrator, indicating it may have been Chara who said it. But considering how Sans also has lines that are spoken silently and in the default font, this may not be entirely accurate.  - Imma go off for a second about genocide because i have a pet peeve about when people suddenly decide that Chara is the one that caused it. This doesn’t make any sense -- but at the same time, with little to no games considering the Player and Player-Insert character to be two seperate characters, it’s no surprise to me that people i guess “projected” onto Chara. However, if you seperate the player from Frisk (in the same manner that Kris and the Player are seperate in Deltarune), it becomes easier to understand. Chara had nothing against the monsters. They liked monsterkind. It’s extremely unlikely that they would have the motivation to kill all of the monsters on their own. This wasn’t created until far into the genocide route, where the player has done most of the work for them. Chara is now living on pure Determination, which as we know is void of care and purely puts a person on a path of achieving their last desire, and once they wake up like this, with most of monsterkind already dead... well, what else is there to live for? They already attempted to kill humanity, failed, and now the only people they treasured have fallen like flies. Nothing matters in this world. Might as well delete the whole thing to finish the job. (also Frisk doesn’t have any motivations of their own either... unlike Kris they are shown to have no specific motivations (that i’m aware of?) one way or another and don’t reject the player ever so the idea that a canon frisk would reject the genocide route doesn’t make sense to me either. obvs au’s are exempt because they’re free real estate lmao anyway this is unrelated) - Chara’s a very calculated and observent person as well -- just look at how they died? They weren’t even afraid of death. They poisoned themselves with full faith that Asriel would take their Soul and bring them back to life (which also goes back to my point about how much Chara cared for Asriel, since, if they didn’t trust him, they would not have left him with that huge responsibility) by absorbing their Soul into his own body so they could exist as one. Chara saw their death as a stepping stone in their plan. All this from just seeing Asgore accidentally eat buttercups once and getting sick. A whole plan to get revenge on the people who hurt them from that. They even made a statement about wanting to be placed back on the Surface just to cover Asriel’s ass when he eventually took Chara on his own to the Surface. - okay this is probably just more of a me thing, but I’ve never gotten the whole “Chara hates Sans” concept. But considering I also don’t really think of Chara as the one who attempted the genocide route, I guess it makes sense. Chara probably doesn’t care about Sans one way or another, really, and Sans probably has very little idea who Chara is. I’ve always seen Sans’s statements during his battle said directly towards the Player, more or less using Frisk as the messenger -- like, for example (yes I have this on hand don’t judge me):

“sounds strange, but before this i was secretly hoping we could be friends. i always thought the anomaly was doing this because they were unhappy. and when they got what they wanted, they would stop all this. and maybe all they needed was. i dunno. some good foods, some bad laughs, some nice friends. but that’s ridiculous, right? yeah. you’re the type of person who won’t EVER be happy.”

- (cont) At this point it sort of taps into something I was gonna write for that Sans essay but here we go. I bolded “the anomaly” because this is the point where he directly refers to the player as their own individual in the game. What’s the only thing that’s different between Undertale and any moments of his life previous? The player. Hence, anomaly. Even Chara would have existed before the player showed up, right? Chara fell sometime within the 2010′s according to the opening of the game, and in between that time and when Frisk showed up, 6 other humans fell into the Underground. Clearly none of them had the same powers Frisk did, because otherwise, they would have not died and left their Soul behind for Asgore to use. That leaves one thing different -- player interference. Chara even directly states that the player is the one who woke them up with Determination, meaning they were asleep (or dead) for every year previous to their arrival. Sans probably only knows them as “the first human” like every other monster in the Underground (aside from the Dreemurs, of course).

i could probably go on for a while. but i will save you the time you probably didn’t want to spend reading this already by shutting up fdbshafb

#zircon answers #abuse mention tw// #suicide mention tw// #i used to hate chara as a character bc i thought there was no information on them #but the more i got into the game and started reading things the more i got invested in them #now frisk has that role of my least favorite character for being boring LMAO #anonymous

[zxddy-panther]

Blessed

A/N: Hey guysss! I really feel so bad for not writing at all but I finally have something out for you guys. For all those who are still wondering, yes I am still going to write my Summer Walker inspired BP series. I just have to get all these drafts posted for yall before I post them. This one kind of took a while so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read all my stories I do have a masterlist posted but all my works are on my wattpad (@zxddy_panther)

Erik X Black!reader

Summary: A breakup between you and Erik has led you both into a deep hole of despair but there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warning: Self harm, depression, some fluff later on

 You wandered the rainy streets of Albany with your dark hoodie, walking slowly in despair. Body slouched and face drooping with sorrow, your mind replaying the moments of weeks ago. The yelling, the harsh words, the tears, and worst of all: the breakup. The relationship truly wasn't bad but you woke up to the harsh reality that it was you. It was your own mind that was pressuring you to believe things that weren't true, that weren't real. It ultimately broke your relationship and you had no one to blame but yourself. It has become your biggest and deepest regret letting him go because you truly did love this man.    

You loved Erik Stevens but you just didn't know if he loved you too.      

*****    

The key allowed access to your cold, dark apartment as you tracked your wet rain boots onto your floor. You slipped them off and set them near the door and headed towards the bathroom, ready to commit yourself to the same miserable regime. Turning on the lights and looking forward, you stared into the eyes of a now lost soul. You were disgusted by the person in the mirror because THEY ruined your conscience. THEY ruined your self esteem and THEY ruined your relationship but you soon realized that they.....is you. Your eyes welled with tears as you threw off your damp sweater and opened the drawer under the sink. Grabbing the razor you quickly put it against the skin of your arm and pulled back with speed. Your actions slowed as you watched the dark red blood begin to rise up from the long cut along your brown skin. A numb feeling washed over you as you continued the motion over and over and over again. Place, push, and drag. Place, push, and drag.

You looked down at your numb and bloody arm with tears streaming down your face. Tear drops fell onto the many wounds and made you hiss in pain. "I've gotta get this shit cleaned up" you thought. Your body makes its way towards the bathtub to fill it with warm water. After you removed all your clothes you looked at yourself once more in the mirror. The now scarred lines that ran across your thighs and your new stripes shone red all across your arm. This will always remind you that you deserved this. Your head slowly turned back to the tub that was done filling up, you headed towards it. Placing one leg after another into the bath water, you allowed yourself to completely submerge yourself in the liquid and drowned yourself in utter silence.    

*******    

Its been about 40 minutes since you started staring at the ceiling fan in your room just mindlessly thinking. You felt so empty and physically drained from all the tears and emotions that you have been letting out. A silent buzzing from your phone woke you from your trance. You rolled on your bed towards your night stand and grabbed the phone to check who was calling you. The caller ID read: Erik. Everything froze and your world stood completely still. You were shocked and had no idea what to do as your hands shook frantically. The vibrating stopped and you took a look at your phone again to see that you had 10 missed calls from him prior to this. "How did I not hear this?" you thought to yourself. "Do I call him back?" The ring quickly started back up and you hit the answer button as fast as you could. Putting the phone to your ear, you took a deep breath and spoke for the first time in weeks.    

"Hello?" you whispered. All that could be heard was ragged breathing on the other line. You sat and listened, waiting for any type of response.    

A hushed "Y/N?" came from the other side. Your eyes shot opened and your heart rate increased.    

"Yes Erik...."    

"Y/N.." you waited. "I-I need you please. Im freaking out baby please come back I cant do this without you. I need you here with me Y/N. Please come back to me."    

You quickly ended the call and shot up from your bed. Throwing on some clothes, you headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your car keys.    

*******      

You arrived at Erik's door step feeling crazy for even doing this. You fumbled with your keys to find his spare house key still attached. Inserting the key into the lock, turning it, and pushing the door open you were greeted with a body curled up in corner of the living room. Erik was rocking himself back and forth, sobbing, repeatedly saying your name. You used your foot to close the door and his head shot up.    

He looked just as tired and drained as you. His once beautifully braided locs were now frizzed and out of braids. Dark brown bags surrounded his eyes as if he hasn't slept for days. You slowly walked towards him while he rose to his feet. The two of you kept your distance, standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room, until his eyes met yours. When your eyes locked it was like your emotions were also in sync with one another. You watched his eyes start to well up and his face begin to distort as he tried to hold his tears back. Closing the distance, you began to walk towards him and cupped your hand on his cheek. His eyes slowly closed as he leaned into your touch, allowing his tears to finally fall.    

"Baby..." he let out. "I-I need you in my life. Its like I-I." His hands began to shake as he brought them up, clenching his fists." Its like I cant live without you Y/N. I don't want to live without you." He looked down and quickly grabbed your hands to hold. "What happened? What happened to us? Was it me? Because if it was I swear to Bast that I'll fix it just- just give me another chance" The volume of his voice started to pick up. "Please come back to me Y/N." His hands gradually rose up to grab your arms softly but, even his gentle touch caused great pain to your wounds. You snatched your arms away and hissed in pain. He looked up at you with a confused look plastered on his face.       

Erik had a feeling to what was going on but, he just didnt want to belive it. You promised him months ago that you wouldn't revert back to hurting yourself. He prayed that he was wrong but  lifting up your sleeves revealed the harsh red lines across your arms. He closed his eyes as more tears fell from his droppy eyes.    

"Y/n. Did I do this to you?" He brought his hand up to your face and brushed your tear away with his thumb.     

"No no. It wasnt you Erik. It was never you." You decided that it was time to let him know the truth. The weight that you've been carrying on your shoulders has gotten heavy enough.    

*********    

"Y/N...Im sorry. I shouldnt have left-" You placed a finger over his lips which stopped his words. Your eyes took him in again once more. His skin and lips still as soft as you remembered. The message was clear as day when the two of you locked eyes. Erik took your face in his hands once and placed his lips on yours. Both of your lips moved in sync while tears came streaming down your faces. He slowly sucked on your bottom lip and let out a small sigh. He missed this. He missed you.    

You pulled away for breath but held fast to his body.      

"No Erik. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like this. That I made you feel like this was all your fault when it wasn't. It was mine. I was always so insecure about how you truly felt about me and-" Tears started to choke you up but this time you let them fall. You were so tired of holding back your feelings and thoughts. "And I always felt like you didn't love me as much as I love you."    

The phrase replayed itself in his mind. This was the first time that anyone had said that they loved him. His troubled past had put him in the mindset that he could never be loved. Today was the day that he was finally proven wrong. He always knew that he had a great girl who always found time to see him, even in the worst circumstances. Someone who was always down for him, and someone who would never leave his side.

You heard him begin to chuckle as his smile spread across his face. You looked up at him confused, feeling stupid for confessing your deepest feelings.    

"Whatever Erik" You began to turn away from him and started heading towards the door until he grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his chest. He looked down at you while resting his hand on the small of your back. His dark ember eyes starred deeply into yours, unraveling you as you stood.    

"If only you knew how much I love you. I'm so blessed to have you in my life but I need you to know that-" He brought his face closer to yours, looking from your lips to your eyes. " I love you more than words can say."    

(Please message/repost to let me know if you want to be on the taglist because im still tagging random people :/ )

Taglist: @chaneajoyyy​ @wakandanblogger​ @wakandamama​ @marvelheaux​ @melaninmarvelgirl62​ @killmongersgurl​ @killmonger-dolan​ @heyauntieeee​ @hearteyes-for-killmonger​ @eriksjournal​ @hearteyes-ficrecs​ @justanotherloveaffair​ @theunsweetenedtruth​ @supersizemeplz​

#black panther killmonger #black panther imagine #black panther #Erik Killmonger #erik x reader #zxddy imagine

[wishingforatypewriter]

Hi. Love your works! I see in your work you see Soma having a lifestyle similar to Erina. I guess my question is why? Im a huge sorina but im worried that soma will end up with Megumi because it seems at times he want a easy going small restaurant like his dad, and megumi fits that scene. But, im hoping he doesnt lolll just steady right away, I feel he needs more excitement before that, just wanted to know your ideas.

Hey, lovely anon! You pose a really good point. In order to answer your question, I may need to get into my perspective on Souma’s character arc. (I’ve never been particularly good at making meta posts, but I’ll try my best lol)

The way I see it, thus far in the series, Souma has been driven by one primary goal—developing his cooking so that he can surpass his father. 

Over the course of the plot, his perspective has shifted enough to allow for him to pursue secondary and tertiary goals—namely protecting his friends/classmates/dorm and reaching the pinnacle of the academy (represented by the first seat of the Elite Ten Council). 

While both of these objectives currently complement his primary goal, they also represent two very different aspects of his personality, and two unique trajectories that his life might take after he graduates from (or leaves) Totsuki.

In essence, I’d argue that Souma will climb as high as he has to both at the academy and in the gourmet world at large in order to surpass his father. However, after he has achieved this goal, he will have to make a crucial choice—will he return to his roots (a family diner and close-knit community like the one he grew up in) or keep climbing to the top of the culinary world?

So far the series has provided ample evidence to support either outcome (I might come back and insert relevant manga panels here later). However, I agree that the person he ends up with will likely correlate with the lifestyle he ultimately chooses to pursue. This is a huge part of why (at least at this point in the manga) I can easily see him ending up with either Megumi or Erina, the two female leads who essentially personify the potential paths. 

While I’m usually not a fan of the “Betty and Veronica” love triangle trope, in SnS I can see it serving a significant rhetorical purpose, one other than frustrating shippers on both sides.

(Short analyses of Soumegu and Sorina endgame scenarios under the cut) 

Megumi and the Appeal of Home & Stability 

At this point, I would say that whether one perceives their relationship as wholly platonic or potentially romantic, Souma and Megumi have one of the healthiest and most supportive bonds depicted in the series. 

Something that initially attracted me to SouMegu (which is actually the first pair I started shipping in the series) was the fact that out of everyone Souma has helped—a metric shit ton of people at Totsuki and beyond—Megumi has always been the most committed to looking out for him. I think this is pretty significant because like most shonen heroes, Souma kind of sucks at self-care, especially when he’s focused on a specific task or competition. 

She also seems to understand his personality and mannerisms better than most characters. One scene that exemplifies this took place during the Polar Star party after the AE preliminaries. Souma’s facial expression changed for a split second and Megumi immediately noticed something was bothering him and followed him out onto the balcony. 

It’s also implied in a number of scenes (most notably, the way he reacts to losing the shokugeki against Shinomiya during the training camp arc IN THE MANGA SPECIFICALLY) that Souma’s relationship with his goals and the amount of pressure he puts on himself can be potentially destructive. More than any other character, Megumi has the potential to alleviate some of that stress and keep him focused on what’s most important in life (from her perspective that would be friends, family, and the customers who enjoy his cooking).  

I agree that if Souma ultimately decides that he wants to return to the Yukihira diner or open a single restaurant with a similar atmosphere, it makes the most sense for him to end up with Megumi. 

However, as the manga creators seem pretty strongly inclined to make Sorina endgame, it seems unlikely that this is the path he will choose. 

Erina and the Elite & Unknown World  

While this is solely my personal opinion, I would say that if Souma and Erina end up together, he would undoubtedly end up in her elite milieu before she settled into the social sphere he grew up in. This seems to be the case for a couple of reasons. 

Firstly, Souma is inherently competitive and ambitious. Throughout his childhood and early adolescence, his competitions with his father were what drove him to keep producing new dishes. After he has surpasses Jouichirou, the same impulse that currently drives him to reach the first seat will draw him to new challenges—challenges that will only emerge if he is constantly among the culinary elite. 

Second, the Totsuki empire is Erina’s birthright and family legacy. Although some of her opinions have and will likely continue to evolve due to her interactions with Souma and other members of the 92nd generation, I cannot see her turning her back on haute cuisine because that is the world of her grandfather as well as Alice and the Denmark Nakiris. It also seems to be loosely implied that Erina will be Nakiri Senzaemon’s successor. Even if she fell so head over heels that she’d be willing to turn her back on all of that and work in a small family diner (very unlikely, in my opinion), Souma wouldn’t let her do it. 

Next, backing up a few steps, in order for Souma to catch up with his father in terms of experience, he will have to travel extensively. Erina is the love interest best suited to match (and even exceed) him in that jetsetter lifestyle. This is actually something that I imagine would become a point of contention if he ends up with Megumi.

Perhaps most importantly, Erina will keep him on his toes. Even if Souma reaches a point when he can outmaneuver some of the world’s most talented chefs, I imagine that he and Erina will remain evenly matched in terms of skill. If those two are always there to challenge one another, there’s no way that either of them will stagnate or become disillusioned with cooking.  

Finally, just as Souma went from seeing Totsuki is just a stepping stone to finding a home at the academy, if he is fully immersed in the fast-paced, cutthroat gourmet world, I hypothesize that he will like it—maybe too much to leave (especially if Erina is there).

Anyway, I hope that answers your question, anon! Have a great day, everybody! 

#shokugeki no soma #souma yukihira #sorina #soumegu #soueri #meta #kind of

[sakuurae]

gaming antics [m]

summary: taeyong has been too distracted by his games lately so you decide to snap him out of it.

❀ pairing: gamer!taeyong & reader insert

❀ includes: smut (fingering, penetration, facial, oral)

❀ wc: 6k

❀ note: Im back! :’) With a new fic about my babe, Taeyong. Haha. I hope you guys like it!

Taeyong had always been an avid gamer.

He would spend hours on end smashing his thumbs all over the game controller while spitting curses to his frustrated friends through a small headset. Those hours sometimes ran into an entire day, and maybe he skipped out on catching a few winks of sleep—to put it short, he was in love with gaming. Since your friendship began with Taeyong you had known how much of a hardcore gamer he was—gaming was how the two of you bonded, so his love for the hobby never really bothered you to begin with.

Not until you started to date him a couple of months ago. He attempted to change his habits and shape himself into a decent boyfriend who could go on multiple dates with you whether they are small breakfast meetups or quick coffee runs. Those lasted for a good while, but he reverted to his original self soon afterwards, almost like the lively dates with you are not as fun as the silly shooter games he spends his life on. He reverted back to the game invested Taeyong—the one that spends more time staring at a flashing screen, furiously pressing on the loose buttons of his controler, than looking at his girlfriend.

You always attempted to talk to him while he took those short breaks. Usually he spent a good five to ten minutes getting water or catching a breath of fresh air outside, but he typically shrugged you off. This time you were going to take a different approach—a very distracting approach.

Two days ago you were lounging on the soft maroon couch in the living room of Taeyong’s stuffy apartment, mindlessly watching television as a simple pastime. It was like watching shows that were a bore would speed up the time in your boyfriend’s current game match. He was cooping himself inside his bedroom, door open since the start of the morning—he wasn’t even holding you when you woke up—and that was the final straw.

You left the apartment after munching on a small breakfast, freshened up and trailed out of his door for the sole purpose of finding something to distract Taeyong from his appalling screen. It was supposed to be a distraction—just enough—like his favorite snacks or two plain movie tickets. Though, you found something that caught your tired eyes way more—and something that would capture his own just as much.

As you walked down the sidewalk with the summer heat beating down on your exposed skin you realized you wanted to bide time. You were well aware that if you returned to Taeyong’s apartment he would still be active on his bed playing video games until the sun will set, so you sauntered the sidewalk, allowing you eyes to roam to familiar parts of the city. That was when you found something that caught your eye.

It was a dainty clothing store on the corner of the block; you never bothered to step one foot inside because the exterior of pastel pink always drew you away. But on that day, you wanted to do all you could to stall time away from Taeyong’s place—stall time from buying a distraction. So you entered.

The scent of perfume and artificial strawberries lingered in the air—far too strong for your liking and it caused your nose to scrunch. Its sweet particles stuck to the thin apparel whether it were to be chiffon or cotton. There was an array of multicolored dresses and folded pastel tees, each looking far too expensive for your simple taste, so you decided to venture deeper into the store. The colors started to vividly pop out more—become more vibrant—the saccharine scent increasing by the step. You allowed your hand to feel the fabric as you dragged it across the metal racks, hands dancing in the soft material. Though, all your movement ceased once you reached the back of the “innocent” clothing store.

Behind the racks and past the towering shelves laid out a not-so-innocent sight before your eyes. Instead of the appealing dresses that were spread throughout the store, charming customers by their pretty pinks and purples, they had a variety of… lingerie. From the purest of white, darkest of black, and deepest of red—each came in silk, satin, or lace. The store maintained its darling vibe, ribbons and bows also available on the shelves in the back, some even adorned the clothing unnecessarily. You gulped, perusing the revealing articles. Jeez, people might as well wear nothing. Though, the clothing did give you an evocative idea.

You considered purchasing one of them—any one of them—because each would appeal to your boyfriend’s eyes, you knew that all too well. Vivid scenarios of Taeyong ogling at your body made you vibrate in excitement; he would ache to place his hands on you and that was all you wanted. To have him strip you of the lace because it got into the way is an imagination that makes your core ache. Finally, you found the premier distraction from that stupid game console of his. You gave it another thought, wondering if you were making the right choice in impulsively purchasing your first set of lingerie. After a mild debate between white satin and black lace you decided to purchase the latter—the one with the arousing garter. You felt impatient, fingers rapidly tapping the counter in hopes that the cashier would speed up. Then, all of a sudden you felt a surge of excitement.

Excitement from what though? Taeyong’s long-awaited attention towards you, or the fact it would lead into something more?

You watched carefully as the cashier bagged your thin, arousing clothing—not the slightest judgement written on their face. They had probably seen more—and you used that fact to calm your nervous jitters. After the cashier finished bagging the revealing apparel with a bright grin, you paid, took the back, and zoomed out of the store.

You held the handle of the pastel pink paper bag close to you, a helpless yet hopeful smile blossoming on your face.

At the moment, you were laying on Taeyong’s couch again with the television flickering its scenic colors. You were dressed in one of his favorite sweatshirts, blue jeans snug around your waist. Oh, and the lingerie you purchased two days ago uncomfortably beneath the outwear. You had bought the lingerie to show it off, but the thing was Taeyong wasn’t giving any time for you to “show it off.” You became impatient, fingertips quickly tapping on the soft cushions of the sofa to zip through time.

“Babe!” you called out to him, irritated.

But there was no response.

You grumbled, petulant, and waited for a few seconds to see if he would respond with at least a loud hum, but there was nothing.

You groaned, “Taeyong!” You raised yourself from the comfort of the sofa with plans to move to his bed.

“Yeah? Give me a second,” he told you, rapid with his attention still deadlocked on the game.

You rolled your eyes and started to trudge down the hall, entering his bedroom with a stern frown. There were flames in your two orbs—flames that Taeyong couldn’t bother to see because he was so invested in gaining one, two, and many more kills within the match. You leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, a look of annoyance painted on your expression. Your toes were tapping against the hard wooden floor, arms crossed like your fire was being fueled by heated disappointment.

“Okay, okay,” Taeyong let out. You cocked your eyebrow, surprised that he was actually paying attention to you and—

“Alright,” he spat into the microphone of that stupid headset of his, “yeah, I’m going to the west wall right now. Let’s go snipe the-”

“-Taeyong!” you exclaimed with a childish stomp.

The boom of your voice caught him by surprise, causing his body to jolt and fumble the controller out of his clammy palms. The anger that laced your tone swam in his ears and he didn’t bother to hide his character in a safe place within the rebarbative virtual reality, and looked at you with eyes of hesitance. “Y-yes?” he asks, unsure and innocent.

The bottom line: you were mad.

His room wreaked of musk and hints of sweat; thank gods his windows were cracked more than halfway open. Sunlight seeped into his room, lighting up the few fractions of darkness that would soon envelop the perimeter. The sun was setting, ready to fall asleep for the awakening moon. The scent made your nose scrunch—more than the time at the pretty pink store—and you began to walk to him.

You took notice of his appearance: his hair was damp from his recent shower, a loose white tee draped his muscular physique, and his lips were pursed into a pout as if that was his set expression. The frown on your face made him feel like he had committed all the wrong in the world, bottom lip beginning to quiver for he was not prepared to face your wrath.

The look of innocence in his eyes made your expression soften; it was almost impossible for you to express your anger towards your boyfriend. You sighed, and threaded fingers into your hair, grabbing onto his controller. “How do you pause the game?” you asked him, pressing all sorts of unfamiliar buttons on the controller.

“I- well, you can’t pause a live match,” he told you. His eyes trailed to the walls, muttered words of his friends being repeated in his ears, each inquired where he was and why he is idle. He opened his mouth to respond to them, but you took off his headset with care.

“Taeyong-” you tossed the headset to the side- “can you pay attention to me?”

Taeyong’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat, uneasy from the sight of you being… needy. For some reason it was an unexpected sight to Taeyong, something he cannot comprehend. He knew he had been neglecting you for quite some time, but he always assumed it wasn’t that much of a bother to you because you never acted upon it—not until now.

And that was when he realized what he might be doing something wrong.

“Um- sure,” he mumbled, head hanging low as if he was ashamed.

You smiled, a small hint of victory sketching on your face. “Great.”

The game blew a transparent black square to the screen, indicating that the match was over and his team had lost the match they once owned. “You know,” you began, “we haven’t hanged out in a while.”

You used the pad of your index finger to trail from his jawline down to his chin, tilting his head up to lock eyes with your own. Your two orbs were blown with a certain darkness. Lust, want—nothing else but need. Taeyong’s lips parted; no words left his mouth.

“You haven’t talked to me in a while,” you informed with a pout like his own. You rested your two hands on his shoulders, leaning lower by a few inches, and sailed them down his arms so you could grab onto his hands. With his large, sweaty palms in grasp you moved them to your waist, hoping he would get the idea of what you wanted: to have your imaginations come to life.

He was reluctant at first, fingers dancing at your waist as he ran through his jumbled thoughts, and finally he grasped you. “You haven’t touched me in a long time,” you said, voice withering into a whisper. It sounded like your words blended in with the air and the static of the silent speakers.

Taeyong stammered, “I- sorry.” He pulled you closer to him, regret from his actions dawning over him. “It’s just that the game, you know.”

“Is the game more important than me?” you questioned, pouty. “I’m your girlfriend.”

You sat on his lap, straddling his thighs, and he leaned back whilst slowly propping his arms on his mattress. “No…” he trailed off. “I’m sorry it seemed that way.”

You smiled like a vixen, implying the desires in such a simple expression. “You need to make it up to me.”

“With a date?” he inquired, thoughtful in the wrong way.

Your arms tangled with his neck, pulling yourself closer to his physique. You breath twisted with his own, hints of cold mint swirling with cherry candy. “A date?” you repeated, unsure yourself. “Sure,” you playfully giggled, “afterwards.”

“After what?” he asked.

“After this.”

You pressed your lips over his own, catching him entirely by surprise. His eyes widened as your lips danced to the melody of his pounding heartbeat; it did not take long for him to ease into the kiss, and soon, under your electric touch. You coasted your hand to his cheek, rubbing your thumb over his smooth skin before both of your bodies fell onto the soft mattress with a bounce. The kiss did not break—in fact, it deepened. His hands lingered in the air and hovered over your body while he shut his eyes, finding true pleasure in the heated kiss.

His grip found its home at your hips, a firm hold as he attempted to pull you lower over his crotch. You broke away from the desired osculation to catch a quick breath, eyes locking with his own briefly. You smiled at him lively. “What?” he mumbled, cocking an eyebrow upwards.

You were looking at him past the lush curtain of his lashes. “Nothing,” you assured. You pressed your lips into a thin line, patient for the long-awaited moment. You wanted Taeyong to slide his hands underneath your sweatshirt, palms grazing over the smooth of your waist until they meet the thin lace. You giggled to yourself; the thought of Taeyong’s reaction was sure to be risible.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” he commented while pulling you closer to him. “What are you laughing about?”

“You’ll find out,” you mumbled over the tender skin of his neck.

Taeyong merely laughed in response, continuing with the session. You peppered kisses on him, catching a whiff of his scent that appeared to be a swirl of cherry and hints of spice. He raked a hand through your locks, lightly tugging on them to catch your attention. “What are you planning?” he inquired.

“A surprise.” You grinned.

Taeyong’s grip tightened on your hips and he used the open chance to flip both him and you over. His head was directly above your own now, body parallel from yours. Your hair splayed out perfectly on the sheets, surprise in your eyes from his unexpected action. He kissed you again; this time it was more messy, sloppy—almost as if his patience ran thin.

You moaned into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as his hands start to linger at the waistband. His palms slid up your body and back down—a simple tease before he sneaked them under the sweatshirt. Majority of Taeyong’s attention was focused into the kiss, feeling the enlivening sensation that he had not felt in quite some time; well, until he felt another fine layer of clothing adorning your body. His eyebrows furrowed together out of confusion as he rubbed circles onto the exquisite fabric, mind slowly placing two and two together.

Once the light bulb flickered on in his mind he broke the kiss within a heartbeat, a puzzled expression awaiting you. It took once glance at your face that now tinged with pink, your eyes looking everywhere but his own, for him to realize it. “Did you go shopping recently?” he asked you with joy.

You nodded your head; it took every fiber of your being to bite back a smile.

“Shopping for me?” he added, pinching onto your lace covered skin. “Is this my surprise?”

“Mhm,” you confirmed, hand playing with the nape of his neck.

“Mind if I see?” he queried, already hiking the sweatshirt up on his wrists. He moved slowly and with care, almost as if you were as fragile as glass itself, until you graced him with a small shake of your head.

He grinned, pecking onto your nose before he raised himself from you. Both of his arms grabbed a hold of his sweatshirt that you looked comfortably clad in and he soon lifted it above your head, tossing it to the side as if it had no value whatsoever. His gaze fell back on you and the lingerie you bought, glints of surprise and excitement twinkling in his eyes. “Whoa,” he said with a shaky breath.

Taeyong gulped, face flushed with the deepest shade of cherry as he took in your dashing appearance. The lace you chose appeared so delicate; he felt as if it would tear with his light touch. A few ribbons crossed over your chest, some on the side to keep the revealing apparel together, and Taeyong felt an urge to tug on the bows to reveal your whole body. His gaze casted downwards by the inch, almost as if he was perusing the intricate patterned lace on your physique. Then, the fun came to an abrupt halt when he noticed that your jeans covered the rest of the tantalizing surprise.

His fingers immediately began to toy with the button and zipper of your jeans, gaining a sudden rush to rid yourself of the article that was fueled by desperation. You lifted your hips off the mattress, aiding his process of tugging your jeans off your legs and tossing them to the side. You moved your body to the center of his bed, sheets resting directly underneath your barely naked body like a royal cushion. “Holy shit,” he muttered, absolutely astonished.

You enjoyed the way he was gawking at you; it was a moment that had not occurred in a while, and it felt amazing to have his attention. You fixed the free strands of your hair, moving them into place while he remained uneasy. His pants was suddenly growing tighter; his large member was becoming hard, increasing in its size within the confinements of his jeans. His mouth was agape, eyes blown wide from the shock caused by you.

The thin lace barely rested around your waist, dainty fabric dangling barely to cover your womanhood. A silk onyx ribbon trailed from the lingerie’s corset down over the curvature of your ass, soon connecting with the garter to hold up the stockings.

He began to make his way towards you again, movements desultory as he crawled on his bed to have himself on top of you again. His palm snaked around your waist as he sneaked a peek at the valley of your breasts, mouth watering at the elegant sight. “You look perfect,” he told you, loving the lace that adorned your body.

“I bought it for you,” you whispered, tilting his chin up so you could meet his eyes.

Taeyong grinned and placed a soft kiss on your shoulder. The moment proceeded when you mimicked the same movements he did: you slid your hands underneath the flimsy white tee of his, lifting it over his head to strip him of the pesky article. His toned body was revealed within an instant: the gorgeous shade of his skin, brief outline of incoming abs—it was all flawless, and, to be honest, it made you crave for more.

“It might be ruined in a moment,” he told you, voice low to an agitating whisper. Taeyong hooked a finger under the thin lace, toying with it momentarily as his eyes perused the splendor that was your breasts. He appeared reluctant and as if he was waiting for your cue to continue; whether or not he should rip the lace off your frame or not.

Though, once you and Taeyong lock gazes that filled to the brim of voracity his two palms slid under the only openings of the lingerie, hiking it on his wrists as he came closer to your chest. The ribbons ran taut, stretching from Taeyong’s relentless movement, and soon Taeyong undid the bows, the zip of the ribbon coming undone the only noise that was audible alongside your steady breath.

Taeyong struggled for a few seconds, the rising inclination of excitement kindling his flame of fervor. He needed to taste you—now. And so he kept it loosely wrapped around your body, enough for the soft material to slide off with further movement, and his mouth instantly attached itself onto your erecting nipple. His hands were playing with the underside of your breasts, giving them frequent squeezes and showing them with enough love—the love that appeared to be missed.

His hands appeared to work magic on your body; whether they were feather-light touches on your thigh or cursory kisses of passion. With the pleasure of him as a whole, you coaxed under his touch; and soon, you were the one who wanted to taste him.

Taeyong gave your breasts a tight squeeze, massaging them in a perfect circle as he took a slight breath. Your fingers sailed to the sheets and twisted the thin layers into a whirl, head sinking deeper into the lush pillows on his bed. You inhaled a sharp breath, the moan silenced by the heavy air until he took one of your hard buds into his teeth, grazing it with zeal.

“Ah, T-Taeyong…” you uttered, eyes clamping shut.

You felt him smirk onto your skin, the music that was your lust-infused voice bring him to his own edge. One of his hands devotedly snaked down your torso and slid right under the lingerie with ease. You loosened your grasp and peeled the remnants of the light material off your skin to give more room to Taeyong and his expert actions.

Two of his digits slid up and down your soaking womanhood, your clit in between the diminutive gap. You gasped, mind turning into a daze and vision beginning to blur. Rather than struggling, you allowed yourself to become lost in the sensation that Taeyong was graciously providing you with. It did not take long for him to slide one digit into your core—merely testing the waters—before he continued with three slow pumps. On the fourth his digit pulled out to the tip and, with much skill, he prodded a second finger.

Your hand flew to your mouth to shield a cry; the enticing sensation of your boyfriend’s mouth and fingers working wonders on your body was overwhelming in every sense. His digits drove in and out of you with desire and excitement, sometimes curling in the most mesmeric way possible. He lifted himself off of you, eyes giving the signal of captivation by the image of you beneath him. Sweat was starting to accumulate on your forehead, much like his own, and you were a panting mess from the work of his expert digits alone.

You propped yourself on your elbows with the last fragments of your strength, heavy eyelids that felt like they have been locked for eons struggling to open themselves to your boyfriend. His fingers were still onset to bring you the your high heaven, and an impermanent look of his digits driving into you made an eruption of a delightful heat burst within your chest.

You felt yourself coming close to the edge: your mind was a whirlwind and breaths extremely unsteady. There was a tauten feeling in your stomach, almost as if your insides were twisting together the further the moment escalated. “Taeyong,” you breathed, “I-I’m getting close.”

He cocked an eyebrow upwards. “Are you?” he asked friskily. The devilish grin that crossed his face made you doubt the intent behind his words, almost as if there was something malicious twinging within.

You took too long to respond to him—both his impatience and your own rant thin—and he slipped his fingers out of you and popped the digits into his mouth. He made sure to lock eyes with you as his tongue peeped out of his doll-like lips, the wet muscle swirling around his own fingers that were coated with your need. Taeyong found contentment and satisfaction from your divine taste; he can no longer fight the compulsion that was being drawn from between his thighs.

He took off his pants, along with his briefs, quickly and they soon met the floor. His solid member sprung against his lower abdomen, the tip of his cock an angry red and leaking with his own desire. It was enthralling to you: finally seeing your boyfriend in his whole glory after months. You attempted to pull yourself off your position on his bed, eager to take his impressive length into your mouth for a fraction of the savor, but he presses you back down to the bed.

“You seem to want a taste,” he commented lewdly.

You nodded your head, desperation present in your veins. “I do…” you admitted. There was something explicitly raunchy behind your two simple words, for they confirmed Taeyong’s assumptions and caused a thousand of hopeful, impure imaginations to rise in his mind.

“You can wait, right?” he asked, feigning uncertainty. An idea crossed his thought clouds; he wanted to see how far he can push it. And your desperation aided it more than you ever would have thought.

You shook your head like an angered child. “No, I… I want a taste now.”

Taeyong chuckled, a rhapsody to your ears, as he wrapped his hand around his hard dick slowly. He started from the base and dragged up his grip with gentle care, and then allowed his thumb to circle over his leaking slit to spread the stickiness around his head. He jerked off his aching member slowly, preparing himself for the main course. You watched with the opposite of delight, pouty and hopeless; that was, until you felt the tip of his dick run up your soaked core and back down—a succulent tease.

You swallowed your breath, eyes downcasted to his cock as you awaited for the impact. Slowly but surely, Taeyong slid himself inside of you. “You’ll still get a taste,” he muttered, almost incomprehensible.

You were about to question his comment; that was until he filled you with his cock, delectation rising soon afterwards. You spat a curse or two from the sensation, the pleasure carrying up your body in light tingles. Taeyong kept himself propped up above you with his elbows on either side of your body, his head hanging low from the pleasure, also, being too much for him to handle. He had held himself back for so long within the duration of your arrival—and it was even harder with the lasting image of you dressed in extravagant lace invading his mind. To be inside of you once more was a feeling he had not felt for a while—just as much as you—and it felt like a seventh heaven to be reunited with one of the wonders in the world.

He began to thrust in and out of you with a steady pace, fear of moving with recklessness and haste, but with enough energy to keep your senses keen. Your mind already felt as if it has hit the highest state of a euphoric excitement, but Taeyong appeared to push you further. It was an absolute frenzy to have him drive his wanted cock in and out of you; each of your flames were being kindled with elation, raptures of delight soon to occur.

His sweat started to drip from his temples, the pearls falling onto your own exposed, perspiration-coated skin. A look of raw jubilancy was sketched all over his face, much like your own, and you then allowed yourself to dive into the needed feeling. You shut your eyes and allowed Taeyong to work his charm.

His member, without effort, slid into you all the way and filled you to the brim, and slipped out of your womanhood to the raging tip of his cock. The feeling of elation extended, but it wasn’t enough for you to release—yet. The slow process continued for a good few minutes, then there was a brief pause. The head of his dick remained rested at your entrance for quite some time, almost as if he faced a mild war in his mind—nonetheless, he rammed back into you. This time, with an angry force.

The impact of his cock ramming inside of your pussy sent you a few more inches higher on the bed; a loud, luscious moan ripped from your throat as well. Taeyong smiled as if he had won the grand prize, and repeated the same awaited action. Thus, he earned the same response; alongside, your cries for your boyfriend only raised its volume. Every second with Taeyong moving inside of you was absolutely thrilling, and he added onto the perfect delectation by pressing his lips to your neck. He sucked marks of love onto your skin, almost like each one was a silent apology about his behavior. It did not take long for your skin to become a masterpiece of crimson and violet hues—created by yours truly, Taeyong.

“T-Taeyong,” you uttered, barely. “I really- agh- am g-getting… ah!”

Taeyong only smirked at your inability to form sentences, your mind far too jumbled in its own bliss to think coherently. He thrusted himself into you harder, faster, reaching his own release with yours. “Do you need to come?” he asked you.

You nodded your head frantically, desperately without words, and the reacted with one last austere thrust. His tip was at your soaked hole and he took a deep breath before his hips harshly rolled back into you. You cried, delighted, and it sounded as if you attempted to scream out his name—but you just could not.

That was the final piece of the puzzle to complete the moment; you hit the fervent cloud nine, mind transported into the wild fantasy that reached your body as well. Your hands clawed at the sheets and flew around Taeyong’s body. His body gained light scratches and your arms looped around his neck as you held onto him for dear life.

As your mind remained in its heaven you felt yourself spill each fraction of your need all over your pussy. Taeyong slowed down his thrusts and moved with fragility to aid you until your mind came back to earth, and that your body returned to reality. The extended moan that emitted from your mouth swam in his ears; and he absolutely loved it.

It took a few more smooth, secure rolls of his hips for you to return. Your chest was heaving for air, baby hairs sticking to your sweat coated forehead—you looked completely fucked out, and he loved it enough to tuck the picture in the depths of his memory.

Taeyong fluidly pulled out of you, solid member rested in between the gap of his thumb and forefinger as he steadied his new position. He shifted himself above you, legs inching on the bed closer to your head and you felt the crimson tip of his length hit the bottom of your chin. You raised yourself, head tilting upwards and mouth falling wide open once you catch onto your boyfriend’s provocative actions. You fluttered your serene eyelids open, vision hazy as you attempted to focus.

The last image you caught of Taeyong, prior to him spilling his load inside of your mouth, is a devil-like smirk that played with his lips. He jerked his wrist quickly a few times, grip tightening around his aching length with every pump up and compact slide downwards. “Agh,” he groaned, eyebrows furrowing themselves together.  “Open up,” he demanded. “Y-you said you wanted a taste, right?”

Sweat proceeded to drip down his temples; his skin became damp from the entire session. He steadied his leaking cock by your mouth, eyes barely able to keep themselves open as he attempted to watch you swallow him and his load.

“Ah,” you voiced, impatient.

Taeyong hushed you by sliding the head of his hard dick over your petal-like lips, the tip resting at the edge of your parting. Completely aware of what you wanted, he stopped pumping himself to let you take over. He barely had a hold of his own cock that twinged; within moments, he emptied his cum inside of your mouth.

It came in spurts, the splashing ivory and milky texture; it coated your mouth and gained a thick layer over your tongue that then bathed in the salty wetness. Everything became messy: some landed on your chin and dripped down to your neck, a few drops even fell down your cheeks. He moved away for a split second; though, a split second was all you needed to swallow what he emptied inside of your cavern before you reached your head over to his cock once more. You took the tip in your mouth, tongue swirling around the sensitive head and tongue flicking over the salty slit. Your taste buds were met with a burst of saltine as you milked him dry and relished in the exquisite taste that came from his need.

“F-fuck,” he uttered, his head throwing back. His eyes clamped shut from the light contact of your lips around his sensitive member, a groan lodging in his chest.

Taeyong’s hands flew to your hair once more to give it a few gentle tugs. “B-baby, I- stop, I’m too sensitive-”

With one last dip to the base, your nose hitting his lower abdomen, Taeyong bent over and released a miniature cry—one that was a clear signal that this moment alone was far too much for him to handle.

You released him with a pop, a bright grin gracing your face as you licked the outline of your lips slowly; your half-open eyes locked with his that are completely clouded, both minds in a grey daze of raw lust. Taeyong gulped, unsure of what to say. The way you looked beneath him was an image he would love to etch in the quilt of his memory—and so he did. Your tongue peeked out from your mouth to lick the remnants of his wetness, and it was quickly followed up with two of your fingers swiping over the dribbles that remained on your face. You eyed the pearl-like stickiness for a heartbeat right before you slid your two digits in your mouth, delighted by the sensation.

“S-shit,” he cursed. “You look so hot doing that, baby.”

Taeyong lowered himself next to you, being completely drained. He planted a kiss on your forehead, fragments of fatigue already creeping back to his body. You turned your body to face him, love replacing the lust that was once limpid in your own two orbs. You grabbed onto his hand and gained a firm grasp that he tried to return back. You kissed his nose softly. “What about that date you wanted to go on afterwards?” you asked him, sweat-coated limbs already tangling with his own.

“We can do it later—when I wake up from a nap, probably,” he informed you. “I want to be there when you’re picking out lingerie.”

“Oh?” You cocked an eyebrow up, voice raising into a childlike excitement. “You liked what you saw?”

Taeyong smirked. “I always like what I see.”

“More than your game?” you questioned, forehead touching his own.

He paused, humming in thought. “I’d miss out on a lot if I fell in love with my video games.”

You rolled your eyes. “You act like you’re not in love with them now. I had to find a distraction.”

“But I love you more,” he pressed, holding your hand tighter, “and if it means for things like… today to happen again, then you should know my choice.”

“So…” you trailed off, another idea surfacing in your mind. “How does tomorrow sound?”

#nct #nct taeyong #nct smut #taeyong smut #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #lee taeyong #taeyong scenarios #nct 127 #taeyong fanfic #nct 127 smut #nct 127 scenarios #nct scenario #taeyong scenario #writing #what are smut endings to be honest

[anti-yandere-dev]

hey so i 'redid' the yansim characters but not all of them i wrote 2 much so

[I put the submission under the cut since it was pretty lengthy]

hey whats up guys i had 2 put this in a submission as well as literally typed this in a note bc im on data & i dont wanna use a lot of it

basically my au takes place in a college instead. seems more fitting bc theyre actual adults & just feels Right.

theres more characters than there is in the original but thats mainly because i took the ‘genderbent versions’ & made them useful (i pretty much made them in2 siblings 4 some characters lol) anyways!! lets break down the characters

also lads, lassies, non-gender specific term for those bc i dont know the term, im givin yall a warning 4 self harm, suicide, nsfw implications/rape, possible drug abuse, and the rest of the Basic Criteria

Akihiko (Previously known as Senpai): He’s gay & trans. His name means 'bright prince’ which really has no significance, I just thought it was pretty……………and everyone views him as a prince bc he’s rly nice and kind and forgiving and actually has a personality other than being a cardboard box. Eventually gets into a commited relationship w/ 'Yandere-kun’ who I really need to give a name. Akihiko has a twin brother, I took that idea from the possibility of a younger sister, and admittingly(admittedly???) enough, Koumi’s 'genderbent’ Hanako. I’ll get into detail on his twin later, but they have a pretty good relationship. Akihiko (it was at this point i actually looked up a name 4 him & went back 2 edit stuff bc i h8 senpai lol) is still childhood friends w/ 'Osana’, who I renamed Ami(i4got her last name i had 4 her). However, neither of them have romantic feelings for one another, considering Akihiko is only attracted to males, and Ami is only attracted to females(theyre gay.). Akihiko actually meets Ayano when she is about to commit suicide, when he saves her. Ami is there with him, so they both save her. Aside from slight backstory related stuff, Akihiko is actually rather popular. People like him for an actual personality this time!! He’s very kind and puts others needs before his, which is rather dangerous. Ami has lectured him on this many times. Akihiko’s also known for having really good grades and being very helpful when it comes to tutoring others. He meets Ichirou (yandere-kun i literally just looked up anothr name his name means first son bc hes the first son btw lolol) eventually when Ayano invites him over. (sry this is everywhere btw i should have put this in2 a specific order) ngl i feel like this is enough on akihiko like if u wanna kno more abt him hmu on my main christopherpierre-official

Ami (Previously known as Osana): god shes so fucking gay like as soon as she met ayano she fuckign DIED bc she loves her so much???she thinks ayano is like. the prettiest fuckgin girl ever. holy fuckshit shes GAY AND WILL DEFEND AYANO WOTH HER LIFE!!!! Anyways. Ami comes from a dangerously abusive household, and as a result, took a lot of self defense classes when she ran away at age 13. (what year is tht in japan pls help) She still retains some of her 'tsundere’ personality, but she’s more thoughtful of others feelings. She met Ayano as she was about to throw herself into highly active traffic, but she and Akihiko were able to stop her before she could hurt herself. As soon as Ami and Akihiko were able to calm Ayano down, they called an ambulance/contacted the hospital, considering she had a lot of bruises and cuts. They would later find out Ayano’s father was extremely abusive, and the mother was unable to do anything because she was away on a trip for work. A lot of people know Ami for how assertive she can be, misinterpreting her mostly good intentions as aggressive. Ami is mostly known for her knowledge on medical related things, but she still has a slightly bad reputation because of how rude she comes off as. again thts enougb on ami if u wanna kno more just ask me!!

Ayano: still keeps the name bc I Like It?? its pretty fuck u. Ayano has none of her yandere personality. She’s fuckign AFRAID of everything bc of her SHIT ASS ABUSIVE DAD!! Her mom’s still kinda yandere tho, but she didnt kidnal the dad or anything. Their marriage is founded off of Pure And Honest Love…….until the mom kills the dad 4 being a homphobic shit bitch lol. Ayano actually has a lot of self harm scars. She barely gets to see her older brother, Ichirou, who is two years older than her, because he’s away or some shit idk he gets abused p badly too tho. Ayano is rly reserved & quiet & im debating on giving her bpd but its Iffy idk. she has ptsd & kinda sorta got raped by some Fucker in middle school (ichirou took care of the fucker (: hes dead.) so she has a lot of trauma going on here!! I kinda sorta projected some emotional trauma of mine onto Ayano;;; Obviously when Ami found out she was fuxking enraged. Ayano can’t afford to move out of her house just yet, and her brother can’t necessarily take her in, nor does he have her contact info. He kinda sorta left thr country for a bit?? Not sure what country I want this to take place in yet. However, Ichirou is fairly powerless against his father as well, so he took a lot of the beatings, (even tho this boy is fucking Strong as Hell like GOD FUCKIN DAMN!!! he can lift his own mom w/o an issue!! but he kinda left like right away as soon as he could & couldnt take ayano i mean she was still in high school & he Obviously has guilt over not taking her w/ him) but not as many as Ayano, seeing as to how she was the fathers least favourite. Her mother never married the father, and she didn’t want the children to inherit his last name either. …..anyways this is enough i thimk

Ichirou (Previously Yandere-kun): Gay. Loves Akihiko. Retains the yandere personality, but it’s not as bad??? He left the [insert surname household here fuck aishi its not even a Real japanese surname] household as soon as possible, and had immediate regrets. Loves his darling little sister with all of his heart, but it’s literally not incestuous. It’s just good sibling love………also he likes 2 embarass ayano a lot lol. As soon as he met Akihiko, who I never mentioned to have pastel pink hair, he fell in love like, right away? Even though I personally don’t believe in love at first sight (that’s a lie I fell in love w/ most of my anime bf’s @ first sight i can shut the Fuck Off) Ichirou was just??immediately enchanted by this beautiful prince…….he’s just that gay. He’s 2 whole singular years older than Ayano. actually not 2 whole years but w/e hes a scorpio tho. Ichirou has definitely been in relationships w/ other men b4 but they didn’t work out too well. Some rando called him 'daddy’ once and wanted to fucking Die he has shit experiences with his dad & hates the daddy kink so much. He also has ptsd. Doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions at all so he just bottles them up and lets them out all at once and it’s a mess. Also has self harm scars, and some scars from his father trying to Literally Kill Him. This boy……strong as fuck. Can lift his own mom. Has held Ami, Ayano, and Akihiko all at once. Somehow. He’s just a really good older brother? But he’s also really sneaky. While he is jealous of the time Ami & Ayano spend with Akihiko (the A squad lol i just realized their names all start w/ the letter a) he does respect that they’re really close friends, and nothing more. He’s also aware of the unsaid feelings between Ayano and Ami (vry perceptive) so he doesn’t care lol. However, he has little to no tolerance of anyone else being around him. He has a slight distaste for Akihiko’s twin, Kazuhiko (the name means harmonious prince i got a Theme goin on here) but he disregards the feelings. wow talk abt an Info Dump okay next 1

Kazuhiko (Previously the 'genderbent’ little sister/brother, made him into Akihiko’s twin brother): He’s actually a yandere too?? But not 4 Akihiko. He’s vry supportive of Akihiko tho. When he & his twin were in middle school, he gave his uniform to his brother bc he still got the sailor uniform, so he took it. There were some troubles but hey I don’t know how this shit is dealt w/ so please. Just accept this brother supporting his gay trans twin……pls….. He enjoys Ayano’s company. She reminds him of his gf/d8m8, the 'genderbent’ version of “”“"senpai”“”“ (theyre cousins but nobody knows yet so thats why) so he introduces them and they hit it off pretty well! Kazuhiko get Jealous™ and nearly exposes his yandere personality but his Lovely Beautiful Nonbinary Girlfriend reassures him tht they only love him. He loves Yuuka (their full name is yuuka minako) so much?? He would kill 4 them. Literally. He almost has. & b4 i accidentally make a cishet character bc i Refuse 2 4 some???odd reason idk, kazuhiko is a Bisexual Demiboy who fell in love w/ a nonbinary who is okay w/ feminine aligned things. Back on track, Kazuhiko is fairly popular w/ a lot of people for many reasons, and oh wow what a Fucking Cliche ppl r strongly sexually attracted to him!!coolio. he looks nothing like koumis fuckass potato lookin little brother btw. But a lot of people hate the fact that he’s in a Very Committed Relationship w/ Yuuka bc shes not that pretty damn!! But she is. She’s so fucking pretty. To him, at least. He basically fucking worships Yuuka. this is A Lot next character lol

Yuuka (Previously 'Senpai-chan’ or w/e lol): Nonbinary who’s fine w/ she/her pronouns, but also uses they/them. Very shy, Ayano & Ichirou’s cousin. Has a younger sister, and two older siblings who are twins. The younger sister is the old concept for the original little sister, and the older siblings are nemesis-chan & 'nemesis-kun’. While Yuuka and their siblings have lived a fairly abusive life, they haven’t sustained as much 'damage’ as Ayano’s family. Yuuka & Ayano are related by their mothers. They are sisters, only a year and an undetermined amount of months apart. This means after Ryoba, Ayano’s mother, or Sakurako, Yuuka’s mother, moved away, they lost contact with one another, never bothering to talk again. Yuuka and Ayano get along exceptionally well, and Hanako (u remember the little sister well her name stays the same bc its meaning is just flower child. also her design changes.) often refers to Ayano as an elder sister. Yuuka’s relationship with her little sister is somewhat strained due to the three year age gap, but they still get along regardless. Their relationship is strained because Yuuka promises to spend more time with their younger sister, but there’s not much time due to an overwhelming amount of schoolwork, as well as their job taking up a lot of time, too. Regardless, Yuuka doesn’t forget to call their darling little sister as often as she can, checking up on her and how well she’s doing in school. next 1!!!! also i4got 2 talk abt their relationship w/ kazuhiko here bc i was rly focused on mentioning family stuff…..oops (also 4got 2 mention mental health stuff??but like. yuuka has adhd, depression, anxiety, u can just ask me if u wanna know more tbh)

Hanako: i kept the name bc it just literally means flower child & honestly shes such a flowery child??anyways. Hanako retains little to none of her annoying rip-off-nico personality. Instead, she has set up a calm, shy exterior as a defense mechanism due to the many years of neglect she received from her father. (me @ myself y r all the dad characters fuxking Dicks in this like??okay damn.) On top of that, growing up, her mother was never around, due to the fact that she was in the hospital to a terminal illness. Instead, she had to rely on Yuuka for attention, since the twins, Tomoko (sister) and Kiyoshi (brother) left before she graduated her first year in middle school. Hanako also has difficulties with her schoolwork because she, much like her sister, has ADHD. Due to this, she struggles to keep up with the class, and has a hard time paying attention to almost anything that doesn’t interest her enough. However, she has many supports, helping her as much as possible in many ways, which does make her feel better about herself. After her mother had made a full recovery and left the hospital in her current year, she has felt much better about herself, and her grades have definitely improved. Although her father did leave her a while back when she found out he was having an affair on her mom, she still managed fairly well on her own. i mean cmon its not like she liked her dad tht much lol he was a Big Fucking Asswipe hanako isnt as fleshed out as i wished her 2 b but shes not That signigicant to the main story??idk. like shes still in highschool & shes only 17 & this takes place in college so??i dunno. i mean if u got suggestions or smth..sure

Tomoko (Previously Nemesis-chan, made her one of the older siblings bc idk y not lol: There’s not much to say about her. She’s 28, which is only 11 years apart from Hanako. She was entirely capable of filling in the missing mother role for her and Yuuka, but she herself didn’t know what to do. On top of that, she was more focused on getting the best grades out of the entire class, and was much better at academics than her brother. Tomoko has a very cold exterior. She is hard to connect with, and pays little to no attention to anyone elses feelings than her own. This mainly stems from the fact that her father, who she doesn’t even consider a blood related relative, was too busy messing around with other women. buddy i dont know what else 2 write 4 tomoko like she just has severe apathy issues & just doesnt know how 2 connect w/ others. next character

Kiyoshi (Previously Koumi’s shit ass 'genderbend’ Nemesis-chan): Unlike Tomoko, he was able to fill in the father-like role for Yuuka and Hanako. Due to having to take on the role of the father, it put a large strain on his academics and work outside of school. He, at one point, almost had to drop out to take care of his younger siblings, but decided against it. He eventually decided to teach Yuuka how to do her own laundry and how to cook when she was only 9. Due to this, Yuuka was able to take care of herself and Hanako while Kiyoshi could work and pay their bills. Kiyoshi was only 23 when he left the household so he could go to college and get a degree, leaving Yuuka at age 15, and Hanako at age 12. he could b more fleshed out but im??i dunno. im Panicking okay do u think i can work on a character tht doesnt rly show up in the story a lot.

anyways im just putting all of These Guys in 1 this 4 now bc this is A Lot as it is. ill do more later also give me criticism on these pls

--

I really like what you’ve done with the characters (especially now that they have personalities and stories behind them, instead of just nothing). Also, the names you gave them were cute.

-Mod Sega

#submission #yansim au

[latitudelongitudegratitudein]

M.A.S.H at 27

M.A.S.H. 

 Mansion, Apartment, Shack and House

I don’t know any decent millennial that didn’t play MASH growing up, who wouldn’t want to predict their future on a piece of paper? In Mexico (I am a born and raised Mexican), we’d switch the apartment for a trash can because that can actually happen back home–but hey! It can happen here too, just substitute the trash can for a camping tent for two in your friendliest neighborhood, Skid Row. I remember one of the five times I’ve shit myself was when I wandered around Downtown LA in the company of me, myself and my shadow and ended up in Skid Row with 2% battery life on my phone. But, that’s a story for another day.

Back to Mexican MASH. You could end up living in a trash can, so the stakes were high as fuck. I mean we were talking about our future! Playing MASH, you find out who will you marry, the number of babies you’re gonna pop out, the kind of car you will drive, the pets you will have, and your job. Most importantly (drum roll please), the age you will be by the time you amass all those goodies. That number was everything–mine was 24. ALWAYS. I had that number engraved in my brain (finger and uterus), I was going to be happily married by 24, live in a mansion, drive a Lamborghini Diablo (yeah whatever, I was 10 years old, don’t judge me), have 7 kids, 10 dogs, be a vet/model, have the most handsome husband, and a big fucking rock on my finger to prove it. Everything by 24 because M.A.S.H said so.

Introducing Mr. and Mrs…insert record scratch. Nope that didn’t happen. I am 27 and have reached the point that the idea that I haven’t found the love of my life yet doesn’t traumatize me anymore. (I was severely traumatized, I’m talking pre-marital PTSD, as in started having panic attacks at 23 because I KNEW I had failed and would end up alone with 25 alley cats. I fucking hate cats) I wish I could time travel and tell my 20 year-old self “relax bitch” or even better, tell my 9 year old self, who is probably alive right now in some parallel universe, that MASH doesn’t mean anything. Being married at 24 doesn’t equal success and that I’d put my index finger over my luscious, prepubescent lips and tell her “hush my child”, you don’t have to worry. (If the butterfly effect is real, I may be saving her a lot of trouble).

I also remember I thinking that MASH was a commitment that I made to myself–a promise. If you know me, you know I keep all my promises. I promised I would walk down the aisle, filthy rich and happily ever after at 24. Period.

Growing up, I remember constantly thinking about being 24, I knew that in 2014 I would cross a magical threshold that would lead me straight to happiness, hand in hand with my Leonardo DiCaprio look alike husband. (That has changed too. I’m now looking for Ben Dalhaus’ doppelgänger).

In middle school and high school, I noticed my friends had superpowers, they could find boyfriends anywhere and for some reason I just didn’t. My superpower was being unboyfriendable. They were like Wonder Woman (secretly dating Superman) and I was like Catwoman doomed to remain in the shadows. (Fuck there go those cats again).

 In my mind, I thought it was because I was not pretty and there was something wrong with me (The real reason being I never gave anyone a real chance and I was to busy making out with tons of boys to prove myself I wasn’t ugly. Don’t get me wrong I did it because that was super fun too). Those days turned me into the amazing kisser that I am today.

Sidebar: It’s funny how I see pictures of me at 14 and think, “ Nope you weren’t that bad. It was just the horrors of puberty passing by and there is nothing that a hairstylist and wax strip wouldn’t have fixed”. Mind you I slicked my hair back with shit tons of gel just like Michael Corleone from the Godfather (it was a thing at my school ‘kay).

See below a picture of me at and Lorenza at 13. 

“ My glorious days as a member of the Corleone-Kahlo clan.” 

10 years later, all “grown-up” playing with fireworks. Te amo Lorenz

I eventually took matters into my own hands when my mom told me I was too young to wax my eyebrows. She’d only let me wax my uni-brow. Yep, as a proud descendant of Frida Kahlo. By taking matters in my own hands I mean freeze framing on Elisha Cuthbert while watching The Girl Next Door and copying her eyebrow shape (just a piece of advice if you are a Latina and your eyebrows are bushy as fuck don’t go copying porn star eyebrows). Really you should just imagine Bert from Sesame Street shooting for Jessica Rabbit’s eyebrows. Not good. I managed to have shaped eyebrows–squares are a shape right?

So yeah the years went and I left my days as a member of the Corleone Clan behind by high school my hair style and eyebrows recovered.

One day at 18, I felt a little better about myself and actually thought “okay maybe I can land someone”. I tried to be open to meeting someone but no one really came. It’s as if I left the bread crumbs for the guy to find me and he decided he was going no carb. I mean boys came, but not looking for something serious. I guess those were the vibes I put out, but deep down I just wanted to be asked out on a nice date, and not lured onto the dance floor for a make out sesh.

At some point I asked one of my best friends with superpowers if she thought I’d be single forever. She didn’t so but explained that nightclubs weren’t the best place to meet the kind of boys I wanted to date. That always stuck with me.

I began to understand how the clubbing scene wasn’t such an ideal place to meet someone. It’s a hub of predators ready to pounce on their prey. Let me clarify by saying that I don’t think wanting to “get some” at a club makes you a bad person (coming from the biggest predator I know), it makes you a visibly horny person. So “aha” moment–meet boys in other places.

Days as a young 20 year-old predator.  Very proud of my fake ID and my almost exposed private parts. 

Ever since then, I thought I’d meet him at a museum, frolicking at the beach, or maybe at the library (but that would mean I’d have to physically get my books instead of using The Prime). Honestly, most guys I’ve seen in public libraries either look like they just pissed their pants, are part of a gang or are serial masturbators. (Look at me judging a book by its cover…I know, I know, I’m being superficial. I’m working on my flaws). However, I do spend a lot of time at Barnes and Noble fantasizing about some guy walking up to me and striking up a conversation about the book I’m reading. Afterwards, he pins me against the bookshelves and kisses me senseless.

In all my fantasies, the guys had to HURRY THE FUCK up because I needed my ring by 24. I was held hostage by the 10 pieces of paper I saved in my third grade pencil case that read M.A.S.H.

I had another dream where a guy would show up at my door professing his love for me, but I was usually awakened by Carl asking me if I’d ordered the thin crust Hawaiian pizza from Domino’s. He is the most stable relationship I’ve had in my life and I am totally okay with that.

Enough about my fantasies and Carl (he’s mine, so don’t think about luring him to your door with an order). My point is that throughout my early 20’s I felt like the guy who ended up with me would think his luck was mediocre at best, and I that should consider myself lucky that someone would actually see some value in me. But I held on to what MASH said–that I would have my huge ass mansion and shiny things. MASH kept me distracted from focusing on myself and my non-existent self-esteem (it’s kinda sad but true). I don’t believe that anymore and I am okay with being alone because I have the privilege of my own company and newsflash I am fun as fuck.

By 27:

* I am nowhere near having a rock adorn my finger that’s okay. For the longest time I tortured myself thinking I would end up alone because there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I kept blaming myself for not being pretty enough or good enough to have a boyfriend. But, that isn't true. It took a lot of work and I changed the perception about me. Im capable of many things, there isn't anything wrong with me and I am at peace.

* The asshole depression that stole my personality and started creeping on me at 23 (aka panic attacks) is finally gone. I am not scared anymore. The panic attacks no longer seize control of my mind or my body.

* Now I see that meeting the love of your life isn’t all there is to life. Loving yourself and your life is vital to your happiness.

* I don’t get frustrated when I see all my friends getting engaged, pregnant, or married. (Not that in the past I wasn’t fucking stoked to see my friends walk down the aisle, but there were moments when I felt like “ Omg. Catwoman, you have failed, what if it’s the same story from high school played over and over again? Everyone gets married while I get drunk and make out with their younger cousins in the bathroom” Yeah it sounds amazing but after a certain age a hot mess isn’t cute anymore. There’s an expiration date for that shit). I’m getting rid of my Catwoman costume (burn baby burn).

* Turns out 27 was the magic number after all. Three years after the deadline I break a lifelong promise to my 9-year-old self and I couldn’t be freer. I can see that I am a keeper and he will come when the time is right (I believe that to be true and not just a generic line people say to sound hopeful). I used to be super bitter about it. Today, I can only work on becoming a better person.

I am actually grateful for everything I have been through because it has taught me a lot about myself and now I know I am wiser and I will choose better things for me; Including a stable relationship with a nice bro ( Sorry Carl, it’s not you, it’s me)

Funny enough the definition of Mash is:

Reducing (Something) to a uniform mass by crushing it. Thanks Wikipedia. Yeah, I got owned and crushed by it.

So yeah, I recently ripped all the M.A.S.H’s I had saved for 16 years to pieces (I save everything and no I won’t have a separate entry for compulsive hoarding).  I tore MASH a new one. And with that a new meaning came to light…

M.A.S.H. is just B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T