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bitdemonic · 1 year

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date. april 8th, 2023

time. 8:59pm

—❝𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃.❞

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. FUTURESPOUSEPAC . . . a message from them.

𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has four piles. pic not included.

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. use the best of your discernment, pinch that grain of salt. and although i write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women, i do read for feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞

🃏 movement retrograde. sweetness retrograde. faith. rest.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “i want it whenever i can get it. idc who’s around, i don’t give two shits about who’s looking. you’re the only person i ever want to have and knowing that i can have it? whenever we want? broad day, pitch black at night, at a park, at a concert, in the car it doesn’t matter and it never will. im going to shove my dick so far into you it’s going to come out of your mouth, that’s how carnal i am for you. my soul burns for you, im running off of petroleum gas at this very moment. you’re a diamond in the fucking rough. i mean, the faces you make when you cum are just . . . im so pleased, so blessed to have you as mine. to call you my lover, my one and only—not many have the pleasure of doing so, but i do.”

✞—. “i’d run ass naked up and down the street just to proclaim my feelings for you. you’re divine, you’re special, you make my crotch tight and my cheeks warm. i’d fuck you for hours upon hours, just to hear your moans. the same moans that remind me of the melody to a favorite song, the one i’ll keep on repeat because i never want them to end. keep your eyes open during sex, i want you to watch me have my way with you. to see the things i do to your body, the same things that make your insides twitch. moving back and forth, up and down, all around and through nirvana just to end it all in rehab. you’ll never want me to go, and i never will. i’ll even stay inside for a few minutes after, because i don’t want to leave us either.”

✞—. “i love you, but above that i lust eternally for you. love is nothing for us, but only because it was always a given—i’ll never stop loving you. it’s just during sex, the way i want to give all of my strength and trust into it, that’s something vulnerable for me. something different and new. but i’m willing to share that, without complaint too, because you’re mine. one person made special just for me, it’s natural that i show my appreciation. i want you to feel the way i feel for you, but through my actions more than my words. understand our connection with each act of pleasure i bring upon you, so on and so forth.”

✞—. “i’m always available to make love, to fuck—to tangle the sheets and wring out the perspiration from our bodies. making you cum constantly—endlessly, without losing stamina and without the thought of it having to end. scream for me, cry for me, moan for me—most of all, cum for me. do all those things and more doll, and promise to never stop.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨

🃏 passion retrograde. creativity. abundance. confidence.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “give me that pussy. that sweet, tight, warm cunt. i want it all over me—my face, my thigh, hell even my stomach, i don’t mind my love. i’ll be gentle, whether that’s taking it nice and slow or hard and fast—whatever pace you need. don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you desire, or better yet, take control of me because it’s yours. my cock has your name printed on it in red ink, signed by yours truly.”

✞—. “the sight when you’re naked, the swell of your breasts down to the curve of your thighs, it makes my heart clench. even the tips of your feet get me going. never stop riding me, lock your legs around my waist and bounce on me all damn day. cum in my mouth, cum on my clothes, cum on my fucking face—i’ll eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. you’re gorgeous, but even more so outside of the sex. i don’t care what people say, i don’t give a damn about what they think either. it’s you that i want and i want you right here, right fucking now.”

✞—. “strip for me, baby. pull off your shirt as i watch with my thick cock in hand. unclasp your bra, slide the straps from your shoulders, let it tumble to the floor. i’ll gasp at the gentle bounce of your breast, in awe at their beauty, before attacking them with my mouth. you’re my inspiration, the blueprint of the world’s desires. made for us—we all want a part of your essence to bring home for bragging rights. want to see your body shine under the spotlight, showcasing as aphrodite’s favorite, nothing but glitter and gold. on display as heaven’s angel. stand just like that so you’ll never fall.”

✞—. “show the others what they’ll never touch, the parts of you that they’ll only be able to dream of. the same parts that i’ve been trusted enough to feel, to love and appreciate. yes . . . like that baby, don’t stop. show me how much of a blessing it is to have the emulation of a goddess at arms length. how much of an honor it is, keeping the place that’d be gone and up for grabs if you decided to cut me loose. i won’t fuck this up, at least not again. i know what i have, and i’ll always need it in order to survive. you.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

🃏 happiness. intuition. magic retrograde. illumination retrograde.

[tw — somnophilia] this is a channeled scenario from your person but if this theme isn’t comfortable for reading i suggest choosing another pile!

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “i watch you sleep, you know. it’s hard not to, hearing the soft breaths escape your lips as the shadow of peace drapes upon your face. bathed in the comfort of being home, you’re content at last. sleeping, embracing the idea that nothing could interrupt the state of winding down. nothing at all—except me. fingers tracing along the hem of your underwear, dancing across the design pattern, before pulling the band of them and letting it pop against your skin. it’s kinda funny—more adorable if anything, the flutter of your lashes at the slight sting below your abdomen.”

✞—. “i do this all the time, or at least when it’s essential. when we’re both aware of how much you need it, i’ll tease away the sleepiness until it’s desolate and gone. you’d never guess it was real, the heat from an open mouth as it warms the center of your panties. that same mouth, dampening the fabric before placing sloppy kisses along the seams. you’ll whimper, tossing and rubbing as you’re mindlessly wondering what the hell kind of dream is this? why does it feel extra real, and why are your hands thrashing to grip at the pillows?”

✞—. “mmm, mmhm,” will fall from the lush of your lips, disrupting the quiet of the night with natural reaction. you’re spurring me on, you little minx. encouraging me to keep going, urging me to fuck with your innocence some more. to turn vulnerability into utter rapture. and i will baby, of course i will. you’ll be conscious at this point, blinking more than twice for obvious reasons, seconds before your face turns into disbelief and tempted half lids. feels good, doesn’t it? i know it does, you don’t even need to utter a word—that moan’ll suffice.”

✞—. “teasing becomes eating, eating until we’re impatient for the rest, until you’re frustrated from not being stuffed full with the other parts. oh yeah, baby—you’re definitely awake now. up and at ‘em, waiting for me to finish what’s began, waiting for me to send your precious body to sleep once more.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

🃏 caution retrograde. trust. isolation retrograde. mystery.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “our kisses, the taste itself, intoxicate the sobriety of my mind. your mouth, placing the sweetest of sins against mine. i’m left to fend for myself, to stand on trembling legs, stumbling around the reality that is us—proceeding with caution. those lips, diluted in gloss or whatever else that has them shining brighter than a star. drenched in angel dust, sprinkled from the fingers of God himself, urging me to come and get blessed. and blessed i be, for i never want these moments to end.”

✞—. “i can’t stop thinking about those sounds, those kitten mewls that send my brain cells into overdrive. can’t forget the trail of poised hands rubbing and wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. you’re incredible. the sweetest thing since candied apples, just as you’re hell on earth. damn you, damn this feeling. damn the air thickening around us, damn the temperature rising in time with our heartbeats. i feel my chest concave when you go, the same way i feel it inflate when you walk into the room. engulf me with your presence, take me and never let me go—don’t let the others take me from you.”

✞—. “i want to be attached to your hips just as my hands are, how they know where home is when they grab at your waist and pull you in. pushing you against my abdomen to give your own hands some room, to let them run over the hem of my zipper before pulling away. i’d offer to finish the job for you, to fling my shirt and pants to the floor, but that’d ruin the fun wouldn’t it? the fun behind the tease, the persona of being daddy’s girl—spoiled and bratty, naughty not nice.”

✞—. “hard as hell to tame, but that’s the excitement itself. eyes going slender and sultry, bottom lip being bitten, hair tossed to glance over one shoulder—i feel ill, hot flashes and stomach turns, because you’re my kryptonite. tbh, you take all my breath away and funnily enough, i don’t want it back. it’s an eye for an eye, swapping out my oxygen for your full devotion. as long as i’m with you, i’ll never need to breathe again. to have and to hold forever.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

#bitdemonic #future spouse #future spouse pac #future spouse reading #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a deck #channeled message #channeled songs #channeled reading #tarotblr

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yandere-fics · 21 days

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Personal Journal of Ainsley Paige.

September 8.

I sat amongst the crowd, uninvited. Surrounded by the family and friends of someone I never knew, and yet, someone I was innately drawn to. They spoke of you so sweetly, hushed secrets of your time together, tears shared over how you were taken so young. And yet, no lovers were amongst them. It broke my heart to know you'd waited, and I'd never come. I stood above your body, so young and vibrant, I felt the spark, love at first sight, and yet. You were lifeless. I believe it was your mother that came to me while I observed you, she asked how I knew you, I don't quite recall what I said, but I comforted her. I asked questions about you and listened to her speak of her beautiful daughter, how you'd died so young. What a shame for a mother to bury their child. I stroked your cheeks, cold and dry, yet I could almost feel you blush. I watched from the distance as they put you in the ground, heard the wails of those not yet ready to say goodbye, and yet all I could do was smile, for I knew I would soon be able to say hello. That night was sleepless, Bibi helped me dig you up, she said something that made me laugh, I believe it was getting dirt in her leg. I think I heard you laugh too. We took you back to the tower and filled the hole back in. You'd be home soon. You felt so right in my arms. I couldn't wait to meet you.

October 12

I'm making strides, preservation spells to keep you from rotting, summoning circles to keep your soul bound nearby. I wonder if you can see me writing this. Bibi talks to you every night, do you hear her? I apologise for her not keeping her hands to herself, she can be so mischevious. But don't worry my love, I'm almost there, necromancy is a tender magic but I will harness it, I have to make it perfect.

October 20

It's been many restless nights working on you, I know I have no need for sleep but I am still exhausted. I have no time for leasure, the room smells of encantations, ointments and tinctures. I haven't left the tower in weeks, I send Bibi out to get supplies, parchment, artifacts, bodies. My lab is such a mess, what a sorry state it's in. Bodies all around, tubes and wires. It looks like the average amatuer's den. But it's all for you my darling. Tonight's the night when we will meet. When you will be reborn.

October 21

This entry must be short for I shouldn't leave you unnatended for long. I can now take my rest, for I have brought you back from yours.

-girlfailure

holy crap this is so good omg i love her, bibi isn't even questioning it, just going along as Ainsley's little assistant.

#girlfailure anon

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brenninthetaylorverse · 4 months

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I know most of you probably forgot about it but I haven't and I want to keep my promises so guess what! I'm bearing my soul to you people and today I'll finally be giving all the details of my album, melodramatic.

@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies I'm gonna @ you in some more of my music like new songs because this is not my best work lol

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album cover:

*the original image isn't mine, I literally got it off the internet and I never plan on releasing this, making an album cover and all of this is for fun*

tracklist:

1. the movement

2. crying in my bed at 3 am on a rainy tuesday

3. gospel

4. places i’ve seen before

5. people lie.

6. take another breath

7. long pause

8. my dreams aren’t real but my demons are

9. honey take your meds

10. is my family ashamed of me?

11. drama queen

the three songs (I had a few that has the same number so I get to choose on those lol PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE MY WRITING)

1. my dreams aren't real but my demons are

Sitting in my room on a regular day, wasting my life away. I think blue light is seeping into my brain. I don’t do anything anymore. I don’t even see my friends. And my room is dirty, I wish my Mom was here to bug me to clean it. And he said “You’ll be fine on your own.” Oh, but he was so wrong.

My dreams aren’t real. Sitting here wishing I had some kinda physical appeal, even looking in the mirror hurts. What can you do when you're stuck in a body that doesn’t even love you? How did the brain name itself and why is the brain so mean? And why is there a man dressed in all black outside my window, but only on Thursday nights? Because my dreams aren’t real, but my demons are. Getting into college, becoming famous, that’ll never happen but I can count on my sleep paralysis demon to be there when I need him. And it’s so sad because I’ve never hated myself more than I do now and they don’t care.

I can’t help but mope around, waiting for some big circus to roll into town. Maybe then I wouldn’t be the only clown. I get up on big stages, hoping every time will be different, but instead I get booed off. I’m not proud of my past and I hope this version of me doesn’t last. They say all I do is sing about the negative but what do they want me to do? Sing about rainbows and unicorns? I never will because I sing about what I feel.

Cause man, my dreams aren’t real. I can wish all I want for a big fancy house but come on, that’ll never happen. Cleverly hidden lyrics on the back of a cereal box. Whenever I’m at the doctor's office for the 7th time this month, all I do is stare at the clocks. I take 20 medicines a day and nothing can keep my demons away.

2. is my family ashamed of me (I am not suicidal I just want to preface)

They used to call me the good kid. They said to make sure I remember them when I get famous. They wanted some of my success. They wanted me to be somebody. And I can’t imagine dying without being famous. I want people other than my hometown to know my name. I want to be someone. Make a name. Get out of this town. And yet I’d be leaving behind everything I’ve ever known, till eventually I drown. In other words, in the fight for the crown. I’d come back and leave, do it all again and still not know where I want to be. 36, a crazy woman with a broken dream. Do I want that to describe me?

What happens when you give all the time and never get anything back? Do you run out of gifts? Of things to give? All the birthdays, all the christmases. All the lost time yet I was there. Do they hear the whispers about me? The grocery store, the gas station, in the eyes of the people who saw me grow up. I was gonna do great things but sitting here, I got one question. Is my family ashamed of me?

Would all the problems be fixed if I wasn’t born. If I never existed. Would they be happier, nicer, richer? What would it be? Give me a genie and I’ll waste my wishes and give me all the money in the world and I’ll be gone. Is my family ashamed of me? And it’s not my fault, I’ve been thinking ‘bout death. Can’t help but question this whole big thing, said no when you proposed with your dollar tree ring. I can never ask for help, I’m embarrassed when I see someone I know in public. And I hate driving slow, but I love having somewhere to go.

3. drama queen (this song has a few taylor references, whoever can point them all out gets a cookie)

I wish that you could go and unsay all those things you said that day. I wish I could undo all my actions and the reckless driving I did on the way. I know I’m partly to blame, I know that you always curse when you say my name. I think I know everything, but I’m just a dumb teenage girl trying to make her way. Do you think when I showed up to your party that was when I ruined everything? Do you think that my Mom is too pushy and she needs to stay in her lane? And why did you run away when I said those three words? All you had to do was stay.

I know you say I’m a drama queen. I know you say I think I know everything. But I thought you cared. I thought you liked it when I did that dare. I thought you were gonna comfort me when I cried, but you left me. If I died, would you attend my wake? Would you care if I threw it all away for the sake of our relationship? What if your future was in the bend, would you leave me then? Are you waiting for the moment to strike when it hurts the worst then leave my life speeding, while I’m forced to slowly follow the hearse?

I convinced myself that you were a brick wall and I was the sledgehammer. Breaking you down and fixing you back up but like usual, I was wrong. You are my David, I am Michelangelo. You wanted the world and I wanted you, we are not equal. I wanted you so bad that suddenly, I didn’t want you at all. What happens when you’ve been fighting for years but suddenly you lose sight of what you’re fighting for?

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so that's that. also I put most of my lyrics in paragraphs so if you don't read it all, I don't mind lol. enjoy my friends.

#music #new music #musician #songs #music lyrics #fyp tumblr #lyrics #album #songwriting #song lyrics #fypage

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between-thepages · 4 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @gabetheunknown, thank you <3

how many works do you have on ao3?

Currently 88, I am determined to make it to 100 before the end of the year.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

29,604

3. what fandoms do you write for?

The Witcher Books/Games, Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings and sometimes Endeavour/Inspector Morse when the fancy strikes.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In the Morning (Glorestor)

Dance to the Firelight (Rorveth)

Eating Love (Rorveth)

Mirror Image (Rorveth)

Body and Soul (Yenralt)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I respond to them, I love comments, but I'm slow. Also, there are only so many variations of "Thank you" one can type in a day before it starts feeling ridiculous. I promise I'll get to your comments before Christmas!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my Iorveth/Cedric drabble from last spring. I had to cope with the Ending of Lady of the Lake.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Beautiful like Starlight, but even that isn't really all that happy... I am writing a followup to it at the moment though.

8. do you get hate on any fics?

So far, only from a certain someone for shipping the wrong characters, but i usually have my comments restricted to logged-in users, so leaving Anon hate isn't really possible.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I will write everything once and then decide if I'll do it again xD Expect it to be at least somewhat kinky.

Also, it has to fit into a drabble or two, I can't really write long-form smut.

10.do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't yet, I will write a Witcher/Silm crossover one day, just so I can get some of the ladies to meet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know, but I doubt my drabbles are interesting enough to steal.

12.have you ever had a fic translated?

Not officially, but I am trying to translate some of my fics myself. No idea when I'll be done there, though.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

14.what's your all time favorite ship?

As a multi-shipper, all time favourites are hard, because all i need are three compelling arguments and I start shipping another pairing xD

I guess Fingon/Maedhros is one of the pairings where I am least likely to read a fic if they are partnered with someone else.

15.what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll burn with a light of my own, because I started it for a flashfic challenge right before my silm hyperfixation hit full force, so Witcher is a bit on the back burner at the moment. It also needs some serious plot outline to develop further, so the continuation really depends on my interest the next few months.

16.what are your writing strengths?

I have been told I am good at writing short stories, which is great because I love writing drabbles.

17.what are your writing weaknesses?

long plots, probably. I always struggle with reaching wordcounts and making my stories interesting.

18.thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the language and usage. I love things like terms of endearment in another language (I made up a nickname for Isengrim to use for Iorevth, after all), but I do sometimes get annoyed with the random elvish words in Tolkien fics.

The best use of other languages is if it is used to confuse the POV character, but then it has to be somewhat consistent.

19.first fandom you wrote for?

Sunrise Avenue xD But I never published any of it. The first fanfic I published was for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

20. favorite fic you've written?

She came in through the window because it got me into a new kind of rarepair hell <3

Tagging @she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats, @aretuzagradschooldropout and @gleamingsilence, I'm late to this so I really hope I haven't accidentally tagged someone who already did this <3

#tag game #my writing #fic recs

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epicrox · 6 months

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Till The End Of The Moon Thoughts - Episode 2

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

PARTS: 1.1 | 1.2 | 2 |

This is mostly for me to look back on and see the moments that I caught my eye. Nothing analytical. I offer nothing to the table

I'm also a visual person so there's a lot of screenshots x

This is called my thoughts because I refuse to call what I'm writing down as a review. Reviews inform people and this post does nothing for people.

I’ve seen posts on Tumblr calling Tantai Jin a Disney princess cuz he’s being mistreated and talks to animals 🤨

The scenery is so pretty.

3. There seem to be Chinese subtitles on the right side of the screen indicating that background music is playing but I think they cut it out because I’m not hearing anything. Maybe it’s because I’m watching it on YouTube. I don’t know about other platforms.

4. Yeah, they cut the music now and it just sounds awkward and empty.

5. Omg she’s just leaving him there! Aren’t you supposed to keep him alive?

6. He legit looks like an old man because of the snow.

7. This man looks so delicate.

8. Even at the brink of getting hypothermia, he looks like he has a better chance of getting a modelling contract than me.

9. Disney Princess indeed.

10. Bingchang looks really sweet. I’m praying she doesn’t turn out evil or two-faced.

11. Wtf is this crow’s voice?!

12. It sounds like a demonic robot. This further proves my point about this show being sci-fi.

13. The crow’s basically a camera.

14. Then don’t let him die! That celestial being never told you to kill him and didn’t even mention the evil bone, your dad did. He literally told you that Tantai Jin’s torment and death triggered his demonic powers. All you need to do is prevent that! And what do you mean he deserves this?! He hasn’t done anything yet!

15. Her strategy is irritating me.

16. It looks like she’s cradling a head. Just the head.

17. I love that he just had to faint for her to understand the severity of the situation.

18. Wtf is that? His subconscious?

19. This demonic being reminds me of that demon that trains Luo Binghe after he gets pushed off the cliff.

20. He wants Tantai Jin to give him his soul to allow him eternal peace? Does he want to use Tantai Jin’s body as a vessel?

21. It’s the 2nd episode and we’ve got Xi Wu feeling him up.

22. Ma’am, how are you sleeping with that on your head?

23. She even got her dangly earrings on!

24. Get over what?

25. Ha! Xi Wu is having thoughts.

26. So am I.

27. She beats him?!

28. Why am I surprised?

29. OG!Xi Wu was an evil person.

30. The fact that she is hesitating about hitting him! Put the whip down! Even though he’ll see you’ve changed and would make him suspicious, at least he’ll be happy about not getting whipped.

31. She cares more about staying in character than changing the past.

32. At least take the gear off before you go to sleep.

33. After literally TORTURING HIM, you're worried for his health. It seems you’ve figured out actions have consequences.

34. AHHH!!!

35. Also as an otherworldly being, deity or whatever she is, Xi Wu can be really dense. I’d understand if she didn’t know how some things worked in the mortal world but for someone responsible for saving the world, your strategy is confusing.

36. I know she’s grieving for what had happened but she can prevent tragedies if she were a little smarter.

37. Is that even comfortable? I’ve always envied my parents for being able to sleep while sitting down because for some reason I can’t.

38. Awww. I love how confused he is.

39. He’s so delicate (This man is over 10 years older than me).

40. Yes, she’s possessed.

41. Just like villainess stories, is she hated by her family?

42. Oh no. She seems to be the favourite. Makes sense since the OG!Xi Wu was running around making trouble without much consequence. How can you be punished for your actions if you’re the Apple in your family’s eyes?

43. Also how many concubines does Xi Wu’s dad have? Does Bingchang and Xi Wu have different mothers?

44. It’s very clear from the beginning that the eldest brother is going to be useless.

45. Ze Yu just vanished. And make Xi Wu apologise to Bingchang. OG!Xi Wu must’ve thought she was entitled to everything. Bingchang must feel ostracised by her own family.

46. Wow, even the kitchen boys are bullying him. They’re probably gonna get beaten by Xi Wu and zapped when Tantai Jin gets into power.

47. This whole thing must be so humiliating as a prince.

48. How is he working in the kitchens and doing dishes while looking so pristine?

49. Is that ice?

50. Are they purposefully making him wash dishes in ice-cold water? Or is it something people did historically?

51. HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING YET. But he’s going to.

52. I’m not sure you’re aware of this but you’re in the body of his abuser. Of course, he’s avoiding you. Like didn’t you whip him last night?

53. Also, you haven’t spent long enough in that body to make this statement.

54. Yep. I think they put the ice in to torment him.

55. This reminds me of a trope you mostly see in isekai mangas/manhwas where the ML is so rude and aloof towards the FL that all the servants start to think they can do it too.

56. One thing that irks me about these tropes (it irks a lot of other people too) is that when the FL begins to stand up for herself against the servants, she slaps them.

57. Ooh, the music changed.

58. Not only does he speak to robotic crows, but he’s also talking to flies. Or was that a wasp?

59. I was under the impression Tantai Jin would commit murder but he just made the head cook (I think) swallow a fly. His reaction after swallowing the fly would have made you think he was being poisoned or choked.

60. It’s funny that she’s lecturing the staff about how rude they are even though this whole time she kept on saying he deserved it. You left him in the cold and whipped him. You know he’s a captured prince.

61. She’s putting all the blame on the servants rather than saying that OG! Xi Wu and even herself were wrong.

62. Instead of Xi Wu slapping them, they’re slapping themselves.

63. “If I had dignity, I would’ve died years ago” He really is a Disney princess.

64. More specifically, Cinderella. I saw a video essay from a channel called The Take. They talk about how people victim blame Cinderella a lot for not fighting back her abusers. In one part of the video, they talked about how Cinderella allows the abuse to continue as it is very likely that her stepmother would kick her out if she acted out.

65. Tantai Jin doesn’t know that the Xi Wu in front of him is not the original. So if I were him, I’d be more cautious about what type of food Xi Wu feeds me than the servants. Although, OG!Xi Wu could’ve ordered the servants to poison Tantai Jin’s food.

66. This man gives me Jin Xixun vibes or Mo Xuanyu’s cousin who died in the first episode of MDZS/The Untamed.

67. Oh, this is hard to watch.

68. That guy threw the cake on the ground and then stepped on it. Even if I was hungry I could never take a bite of it. It took me a while to even eat/drink something that someone else touched with their hand or mouth.

69. Is she drugged or drunk?

70. omg

71. They kissed! And we’re on the 2nd episode. I know it isn’t the FL but still. I count it.

72. Ok, they’re drugged.

73. I remember the two actors were together in a previous drama and there was a make-out scene that everyone freaked out about. So I assume they know what they’re doing in this drama.

74. So someone tried to make Bingchang and Jin Xixun prince spend the night together by drugging them but instead, they both ate it. It was 100% OG! Xi Wu.

75. Oh wait, they actually did it? But they’re clothed.

76. He has every right to be suspicious of you and the food you’ve given him.

77. Gosh. That crow’s voice is terrifyingly comedic. I giggle every time it opens its beak.

78. Tantai Jin is definitely planning something.

79. At least he’s pretty while doing it. Look at this shot.

80. This king looks familiar. Wasn’t he the emperor from Ashes of Love?

81. Tantai Jin is definitely ripping his head off.

82. This whole political drama is going to push Tantai Jin to join the dark side.

#till the end of the moon #tteotm thoughts #tantai jin #ye xiwu

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watercolor-envy · 1 month

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Diary entry 16.03.2024

I feel so guilty after eating like holly fuck can this stop? I eat so healthy why my brain is doing this shit to me.

I felt tired after working out, my mussels where weak and so I went out, bought myself my fav drink (non alcoholic ofc lol, just juice) and came back home, cooked an amazing dinner. I topped it with some fresh smoked fish from a fishermen. So literally I couldn't do better. But my mind is screaming: WHY DID YOU EAT FISH?! WHY DID YOU ADD CHEESE. YOU SHOULD CUT DOWN ON YOUR PORTION SIZE.

Like God damn, chill tf. I want to work out daily but this attitude will make me miserable. I want to build a bit of strength so to be able to do a pushup but I just get so anxious about food. I think it's because a lot of shit has been going on for the past few months and I've been struggling so much with life on its own. I feel miserable. I feel unwanted, not good enough and that I must fake everything to be accepted.

I hate it, I'm so scared od future and what my life will bring. I know that I will manage to do things in life but on the other hand I am unsure. I'm afraid that I'm going to remember this relapse forever. I'm afraid that it will be the biggest one yet. My only hope is that when the summer comes, it will be easier on me. That I will manage to recover but right now I'm afraid.

Food control is the only thing that is left for me in this life. I wish I could be happier, but I always wanted to fit into this world. I know I don't have to, since if I was born that means I fit in since I am human and humans deserve to eat and live. But I don't feel that way. I don't know why I keep relapsing, why am I so deep into this disorder right now.

I think it was caused by fear of my mistakes finally catching up with me, never feeling supported by my family, being neglected by everyone for so long and feeling sad in long distance relationship. Even though it's not really a long distance relationship, he spends half the year with me but oh well... I've never been in such loving and amazing relationship where I am seen for who I am. But it breaks me every time he leaves for work. First few hours are unimaginably painful, I know that I'll see him in 5-8 weeks. It's almost two months. And I miss him through that time. Each day I miss him, and each day I want him back. I still carry on living, doing my stuff but I feel tired, often sad and unwilling to do anything more than needed. There are weeks where stepping out of my bed are almost impossible. I feel so out of control. I feel left alone by everyone. I barley have any friends. My family is fucked up.

My mother will only notice me when I get good grades or if I've learned something that is in her interests. Oh and if I agree on some socio-political topic with her. Then she's proud of me. But she hasn't told me that she loves me in over 7 years now. It breaks my heart and soul. I've done so much for her approval over all these years and I was never good enough. The last time she told me that she loves me was after my su1cid3 attempt. My father? He's an alcoholic. I can't bond with him because almost always he had a drink or more. So it's alcohol speaking through him, not him himself. Every relationship I have with my family is fake because I don't trust them. They have went over my back over and over again and made me feel that it was all my fault.

I was overweight, just slightly and it was when I was a teen. I was 13-16 years old. Through those years they made me lose weight but only by saying that I am fat and I must lose weight. That I have a pretty face and it's a shame that I have such a big body. Those words hurt me like hell. I still feel this deep, sharp feeling in my chest when I go back to those memories. I had to walk on eggshells through all these years I lived with my parents. I moved out soon after I turned 18 and I never wanted to go back. Even though that by moving out I was being abused by my ex boyfriend.

I hold a grudge. I know that. I was a child that was mistreated for so long. I wanted to d1e at the age of 12. That's fucked up. My parents were so mad at me that I was depressed that I got no help. Only when I was 14 and almost d1ed something has changed for a second. After few months everything went back to how things were. As if it was my problem that I couldn't handle constant shouting at me for the stupidest shit. I started to zoom out, daily I wash going through out-of-the-body experience. Stress levels where so high that I stared having panic episodes and I felt that I don't have control, that I don't have privacy and I must do as my mother says.

When it's time to eat, I had to eat, when it was time to study I must have studied, when it was time to sleep I couldn't do anything else just sleep. She would daily monitor everything in my life. And I wanted to break free.

So I relapsed at the age of 16/17 and lost an alarming amount of weight in the smallest period of time. I wanted to k1ll myself again and only the thought of my friend has saved me that night. Because I knew I was important to her. But because of my soon-to-be boyfriend (at that time) I lost her. He has isolated me to have full control of me. He was approximately 7 years older than me. He was finishing his master's degree and buying his own place. I was still in highschool. I am now so terrified by that man. Why has he found me attractive? I was a fucking child.

So my abuse continued. I'm still processing those years of my past relationship. Each time I think of him I feel betrayed. I loved him, he was everything to me. He wanted me sick, he wanted me to "look at him as if he was God himself". And these are his words. I'm so glad that I woke up. That I saw him for who he truly is. An abuser, narcissist and sociopath. Someone with such a big ego that it's unbearable. He saw me by his own prism. I was just an accessory to him. Someone he had exclusively to please him exactly how he wanted.

Now I understand why I am afraid of so many things. But I don't know how to fix those fears. I want to be the best person for myself but I don't know how to do that.

#tw ana diary #ana trigger #ed not ed sheeran #pro a4a #skinnni #anarex14 #sk1nny aesthetic #tw ed sheeran #ed disorder #thinspø

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astarab1aze · 2 months

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i've been working on loux's foster family all evening :/ i am depressed.

i was talking about this with my beloved ( @gyofukuki ) and they made the stunning connection that loux's only real knowledge of relationships is, wholly and completely, loss - in all its forms. people he went to school with, dead from overdoses or backalley fights gone bad. business partners he was fond of, killed by the competition. being disowned by his ( eventually adoptive ) foster family ; literally being responsible for his foster grandmother's death and probably what gave grandpa his heart attack. his parents? murdered. his sisters? torn away from him when he was just 8 years old. going through casual relationship after casual relationship and throwing people away before they can do the same to him. his life is a revolving door and everyone's always leaving for one reason or another, and it's almost....always because they're taken from him, or he makes them leave, takes himself out of the equation so he can never feel that gods awful pain again, never be responsible for it again.

yet at the same time... he has put his body through so much strain chasing his ambitions, coveting as much power and knowledge as possible so he can't be blindsided, taken advantage of, so that the people he cares about can't be harmed as long he's got something to say about it, so he can take on any and every threat and survive it, survive anything and everything including his precious broken heart. and he feels so much he doesn't have the right to feel because of everything he's done and everything he's responsible for, but still he ruins himself, destroys what it means to be loux garo, donning a mask and lying to not just everyone but himself too. deluding himself into believing he really could one day truly bring his parents back from the dead, souls and all, reunite his family and live the happily ever after running circles around his head. he lies, he hides, he buries, digging his own grave on purpose - it's better this way, he thinks, to take the meaning out of everything so neither he nor anyone else has to feel it, to mourn the loss of him, for him to mourn the loss of them. because, deep inside, he will always just be loux garo, and what loux garo really is, is a frightened boy and a coward.

#mfd.#/ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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renma-2 · 9 months

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Log #1

~˖⁺. ༶꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦~˖⁺. ༶

[…] - Segment “Eta”, otherwise known as The Heart. He was rumored to be Il Dottore’s first ever prosthesis, created shortly after acquiring Balladeer as part of the Fatui. Aged around 30 in bodily years, he is by far the most devoted and steadfast subject amongst the menagerie. His sole duty is to assist Prime in his endeavors, hardly ever allowed to leave his side for reasons that are unknown even to us, his fellow Segments. […]

[...] - You’d be wise not to cross Renard’s path. Although he is known for his mellow and friendly nature, he is Prime’s eyes and ears. Whatever you say to him, know that sooner or later, Prime will know of it too, whether Renard wants it or not. So choose your words wisely, Traveler. δ

Renard is a Segment that was created shortly after Scaramouche joined the Fatui, and Dottore obtained knowledge on how to create beings similar to him. After obtaining all the necessary resources, and after a set period, his very first clone was brought into Teyvat. A snapshot of his current self at that time, a mirror image so identical and yet so different, his blank eyes and unamused visage staring back at him as he sat on the operating table.

“He” was a breakthrough. The confirmation and first phase of his plan.

A creation that was frail, wobbling like a newborn fawn before the man’s very eyes; and yet, he was a divine being, in a way. Molded in the shape of an Archon’s puppet, bestowed with the mind of a genius. Bearing no name of his own and no sense of self, the clone both fascinated, and evoked a sense of benevolence in the Doctor. After all, this one would be the baseline of all the other segments that would come around in the future. “He” could be considered important, as every new discovery of his, and every step would be a rush of new data, new possibilities to improve every other clone that would be created after him.

“He” was destined for more, though.

And it so happens that the Doctor had already written his fate.

What is Renard?

[…] – I am the fruit of your labor, carrier of the brunt of your sins. Should you wish to end my life, I will drag you into the grave with me. η

The void in his chest was easy to get used to. The Doctor was always known as a heartless monster dressed in the robes of a charming man, all this talk about his cruel ways and inhumane methods could finally be justified. He was no longer ‘human’. A human must have a heart to be considered a living and breathing unit. And his, has found a new body to inhabit.

A commodity, at first. To transplant his heart into the body of a pliant vessel, that would abide by his every whim. One like “him”. Given a heart, the segment awoke anew, drawing in a sharp breath for the first time.

This time, though, he’d gaze at his creator with wonder, sensing the thin thread that connected them. Although the organ was no longer in the Doctor’s body, its behaviors resonated within him through “him”.

‘What shall be your name, my creation?’ The Doctor’s lips curl into a wry smirk, observing the faint, azure glow from under the wound dressings on the clone’s chest. He feels its every beat, the apprehension that lingered in the segments head. It’s exhilarating, like a bird fluttering in a cage, reverberating like an echo in his own, empty chest cavity.

Finally, he speaks, his voice an unfamiliar timbre, soft like a wisp of wind in a quiet chamber.

‘Renard.’ He says, and the Doctor nods, reaching to grab his chin between his thumb and pointer finger. There’s excitement lingering in his eyes, a keenness to see what else ‘Renard’ can bring to the table.

[…] – Two bodies, one heart. The Canopic segment not only houses the physical organ of the heart, but also its burdens and past experiences. Some even claim the heart to be the seat of one’s soul. Perhaps it is why this difficult task, of tending to the heart, was given to Eta. The number eight is a constant flow of power and energy; in other words, the number 8 represents everything that makes up the universe which is infinite: love, time, and energy. Additionally, the number eight is a connecting number representing the link between the earthly and the divine worlds. A body carved from the branch of a white tree, seemingly transcendent, yet still fleshly in a way. Burdened with an inconsolable human heart, meant to forever nurture it to preserve its owner.

~˖⁺. ༶꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦~˖⁺. ༶

END OF LOG [...]

#segmentoc #dottore #genshin impact #genshin oc

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kaaloopsiiaa · 3 months

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alexithymia

(n.) the inability to express your feelings

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

existing is so tiring. the mere thought of starting a day makes me sick to the stomach. waking up wishing i didn't, standing up wishing i would just collapse and never get up... why am i getting exhausted? i'm just existing, like everybody else, right? why am i getting tired? i'm not doing anything special, right? god, thinking makes my mind want to kill its own self. too many questions, i don't even want the answers to any of them, do i? i'm not sure. i'm not sure about anything, actually. my life seems to be endlessly drowning in confusion. it leaves me wondering if i really am confused or if i simply am not trying to figure it out. but honestly, do i need to figure it all out? do i have to? it's such a hassle. i don't know it all. but people do, people have their life together. why don't i? i'm not any different, am i? those questions, they keep popping up in my mind. they need to stop. they're making existing even more exhausting than it already is. yet they keep me sane. i tend to talk to myself, desperately trying to answer those questions to fill in the hole loneliness is digging in my soul. i mean, i'm not lonely. i have friends. i'm just avoiding them, or they are the one doing so. i honestly don't know. but i don't want this to keep going. why can't i just talk to them? why am i holding myself back from them? we're friends, so why am i scared of being too much a friend for them? actually, this is one question i can answer... well, never mind. another question came to my mind. what was i talking about again? my thoughts are fighting against each other, i don't know which one to side with. maybe i should sleep, it'll shut my mind off completely. only for 8 hours that would feel like a minute, though. because when i'll wake up, i'll wish i didn't. it's a cycle, an endless loop that burdens me more and more as days pass. but isn't it just so weird how: when i wake up to the sun hitting my eyes, i find it beautiful. when i look through the windows, watching the trees flow with the breeze, i find it mesmerizing. isn't it weird how i feel that life is beautifully perfect yet so disgustingly ugly. nature makes it easier, and minds make it harder. wait, i wandered away from the main subject once more. what was it again? right, existence. i don't even want to talk about it anymore. it saddens me a bit too much. makes salty water come out of the corner of my eyes. people call them tears, i don't really call them so because then this is called crying. and i don't want to cry. it's just my body feeling the need to evacuate its thoughts through those drops. i don't want to let it all out. i want to keep it to myself, let it rot until it dies. hopefully taking those stupid questions with it. but i know it won't. i'll live with the tiredness of asking myself these questions and with the guilt of not being able to answer them. but everybody does, don't they? don't they know their answers? they probably don't, my rationality knows that. yet my heart and soul tell me otherwise. they keep stating how different i am from others. i don't want to believe it, but my mind does. i can't help it, can i? see, questions never stop, even when they are that stupidly useless. useless... i hate that word. everything has a use, a purpose, a reason to be. well, many will disagree by saying that some things really don't matter. and i will agree because nothing matters. am i even making sense? but does it matter if i'm not? gosh, i just want to stop thinking, stop the race time is challenging me into, stop bothering myself with my own mind. i'm tired, too tired to even be alive. exhaustion is not enough of a word to describe how existing feels like. i lost the will to keep going, to keep trying to gather my life together. because in the end, i can't understand what i'm doing. i don't even understand what i've been talking about since the beginning.

#poetry #existence #art #books #essay #feelings #mental health #poem #literature #philosophy #idk man #have a nice life

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onthesandsofdreams · 2 years

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A Dream Passion

Fandom: The Sandman (TV) Pairing: Dream of the Endless x Fem!Reader Summary: "Do you remember?" The voice whispers in your dreams. Insistent and deep, with a slight hint of desperation. Rating: Explicit (to be safe) Words: 1033 Notes: Boy. First time writing something as explicit as this, so, please be kind. Also, this fic is for my big sister @mousedetective, hope you like it, because I’m trying to write smut, which is something as you know, doesn’t come easy to me. Soulmate AU / Witch Reader. Warnings: Unprotected sex. PIV sex Prompt(s): #8.- Do you remember? from @fictober-event

Read @ AO3

"Do you remember?" The voice whispers in your dreams. Insistent and deep, with a slight hint of desperation.

You groan. The hands that are currently running all over your body are sending shivers all over. The mouth that explores you is drawing happy sounds of pleasure. Your hands turn into fist, hanging into the silken sheets as the man slides down until he arrives at your core.

"Do you remember? Do you remember me yet, my love?"

Truth is, you don't remember him. If you had met before you would be sure you'd never forget such a handsome man. Not when he is like darkness personified, stars for eyes and dressed in black. Should you know him? There is something there, in the back of your head and your heart and soul that screams that yes, you know him.

You're about to speak when strong hands part your legs wider and a firm tongue makes contact with your clit. Whatever you're about to say, it gets lost in the cries of pleasure that the man between your legs is drawing from you. His strong hands are keeping your legs apart, making it easier for him to explore you at his leisure.

One of your hands leaves the sheets and tangles in his wild hair, doing your best to push him further into you. "I need..." even with your mind clouded with pleasure, you sound breathless.

He stops, "Yes? Tell me what you need, my love?"

"You. Please. Take me."

The man hums, quite pleased with your request. "Very well. If you want me, you shall have me. Who am I to deny my Queen?"

You're not a Queen, but you don't have time to deny that as, with one swift motion he has buried deep inside of you. You keen, he fills you so well. Like two puzzle pieces connecting at long last. Your chest feels heavy, your heart is loud and you can hear the rush of blood in your ears. Time stands still as the man above you does not move, but lowers himself enough that there is no space between your bodies.

The kiss he gives you is deep, and you moan into his mouth when he finally starts moving. And it is utter bliss.

He is both gentle and loving one moment, the next, it is as if he were a man dying to meld your bodies together that neither of you could tell where one ends and the other starts. You kiss him fiercely and devour the deep groans and growls that make their way out of his mouth.

You only part when the need for air becomes to much. The world outside of this bedroom may be quiet and dark, but in the privacy of this bedroom, the sounds of flesh meeting flesh and the sounds of pleasure are like a song, like music to your ears.

Pleasure only grows and grows. Your hands exploring his back, clinging to his surprisingly strong shoulders. Leaving a trail of kisses on his neck. "Oh God, you feel amazing."

His mouth also explores you as much as it can, but he leaves marks behind. "Mine." He growls. Both hands resting on your butt, lifting up to find another angle. He knows he found the perfect spot when you keen and scratch at his back.

"Please, I'm close..." you manage to speak through the fog of pleasure. "So close."

You don't need to say more, for the moment those words have left your mouth, one hand leaves your butt, finds your clit and begins a soft massage that heightens your pleasure all the more. "Yes, please..."

"Mine." He growls into your ear. "Say that you are mine."

"I'm... yours." And you're close, so very, very close. "Yours."

He growls and you shiver, you're about to fall to the precipice when he speaks again. "Say my name. Remember it and say it out loud."

Your mind is clouded with pleasure, but with one more thrust and and pressure on your clit and you're falling down a precipice of pleasure, "Morpheus!" You scream, not even caring if the name is right or not.

"Good, you remember me." One more thrust and then you can feel him filling you. "My love, my Queen." He groans as he continues to ride out his pleasure.

You sigh, your walls still clenching and enjoying the bliss. Your eyes feel heavy with sleep and you wrap your arms around him and kiss the head that has come to rest on your chest. You play with his hair and he purrs in contentment. You loose track of time as you both remain wrapped around each other until you drift off to sleep.

"Morpheus!" You call into the empty room as you bolt upright. Light is filtering in through your curtains, and your bed is empty.

But you know that just wasn't a normal wet dream.

That is when it all comes back to you. Of the dozens of lives lived, of the many loving nights you and Morpheus spent together and the promise that you two would find each other in the next life. In that moment you know that you have to find him. He is part of your soul. Not only that, but your soulmate.

"Morpheus. I remember. If you're listening to me. Come to me."

But he does not.

That is when dread fills you. That is when you know that something is not right. That you got to find him. Because you know that if he had been able to, he would have materialized in your room the very moment you had said that you remembered who you were. What you both were to each other.

You will do everything in your power to find him so you two can be together again. And heaven help anyone who had harmed him, because witches like you could be hell when angered, fortunately, you had time. This life had blessed you into being born to a family of long-lived witches and wizards.

"Morpheus, I'll find you. I promise you that and we'll be together again. Hold on. I'm coming my beloved King. I'm coming, my dearest Dream."

#fictober22 #morpheus x reader #dream x reader #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless #reader insert #the sandman fic #pre canon fic #au: witches & wizards #au: soulmates #the sandman

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mindmeltonabun-blog · 1 year

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Another Day, Another Plagiarist and Leaker On Reddit

I thought by now people would know I have eyes and ears everywhere. So here I am yet again having to deal with yet another plagiarist. And this one is even worst....they're also a leaker! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, this dumbass decided to play dumb and pretend they didn't know about my blog until someone else on Reddit told them about it.

Following that, this person tried to make it seem like they didn't take and leak stuff from my blog by including a link to my blog in their post after the fact because they didn't want to get downvoted...HAHAHA HILARIOUS!!!!

I AM FREAKING LIVID!! Let's take a look at plagiarism and leaking at its finest!

Exhibit #1

No one and I mean absolutely no one besides me had came up with the Naksu=Jin Bu Yeon theory. Another dead giveaway this person has been following on Twitter as well as on Tumblr is their usage of "JBY". Most people refer to Jin Bu Yeon as either Jin Bu Yeon, Bu Yeon, or Buyeon. I, on the other hand, sometimes refer to her as JBY.

Exhibit #2

"Mama Jin" is also a nickname I frequently use both here on my Tumblr account as well as Twitter. Word of advice, if you want to get away with plagiarizing someone's work...YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO USE THE NAME NICKNAMES AS THEY DO...JUST SAYING.

Then let's look at this lovely statement of theirs:

"I feel like once her memories returns (both the body and the soul's) the face will also return but here is where it will get tricky because I dont see JSM going back to AOS2 because of how they are promoting LJWxGYJ like crazy."

Riddle me this, if you came up with your own theory.....why the hell are you disagreeing with yourself?! A person who comes up with their own theory would not be disagreeing with themselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY FUCKING SPENT TIME RESEARCHING AND THINKING AND THEREFORE HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO DEFEND THEIR THEORY. Jesus Christ.

Without revealing the rest of my post, I will only show you the portion that this idiot decided to freaking plagiarize and leak:

Its amazing....how freaking SIMILAR MY SHIT IS TO WHAT THEY SAID.

Continuing on with this idiot, they also decided to end their post with something that sounds so similar to what I write in my T&A post. They said:

"This is will be for today's theory and analysis. If you have any questions too or counter arguments I would love to see those"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHO IN THE AOS FANDOM USES "THEORIES AND ANALYSIS"....MEEEEEEEE!!! Below is what I included in my AOS2 blog posts.

Again, what they said is nearly identical to what I originally said!

Exhibit #3

And if you think it stops there.....you're in for a treat everyone!!! This person also decided to take my diagram and used it in their header on Reddit...HAHA.

For those who don't know, this diagram was from my TA post for Eps 7-8. You can see it below.

Exhibit #4

In my original post for Eps 23-24, I had said 200 years ago and then in a more recent post on my Twitter, I corrected myself and said 203 years later. See below.

This person also decided to say 203 years ago in a response to another comment. If I hadn't corrected myself when I posted on Twitter...this idiot wouldn't have caught it either.

You can go and see for yourself on Reddit how this person pretended they didn't know about my blog and then took stuff from it. It's quite hilarious to read their comments and responses since they have no clue what they are talking about. There are many things I did not explicitly state in my blog posts because quite frankly I was too lazy to type more than I already had. I'm glad I didn't because it leaves people like this dumbasses unable to fully explain stuff when asked.

Whelp I'm done with my venting and ousting this disgusting human being! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

#alchemy of souls #theories #alchemy of souls light and shadow #AOS #analysis #plagiarists

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accessories-not-included · 1 year

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I have a Spinal Cord Injury. Among other chronic life-changing chronic conditions. It's resulted in me becoming tetraplegic, bedbound, and heavily reliant on the aid of my fiancé.

Last night I had severe gastric distress which worsened with incredibly painful bladder spams. I think it would aid in further clarification if I add that I also have a catheter due to Neurogenic bladder and bowel.

This is not unusual in the pattern of my already irregular symptoms. However, the catheter pain was so intense that it caused my urethra to bleed. Eventually, my fiance made an executive decision to remove the catheter when he tried to flush the foley and failed. The pain remained and my legs shook for the next hour.

The pain was like a white-hot poker inside my urethra. My abdomen and my back ached and cramped as if I was getting turned inside out again and again. Yet this was not the most painful of my experience. Physical pain ebbs and flows. Eventually, changes. It can usually be controlled. The Physical pain wasn't what penetrated my soul and stained my soul.

My fiance and I have been together for 8 years. He has been with me since the beginning of my injury. I rely on him to protect me from my abusive parents and prevented me from being shipped off to a nursing home. For the past year, however, he has been increasingly upset and bothered to deal with managing my needs. This pattern of behavior was no exception during the events of last night.

Around midnight I woke up in pain and instantly knew I had to turn on my side. Unfortunately, this meant that I had to wake my fiancé up to do so due to my lack of motor nerve function in my hips. He groaned and cursed upset for me disturbing his sleep. Then begrudgingly got up and dragged his feet over to me to quickly turned me over. As soon as he did so I passed gas and groaned from the cramps. Watery diarrhea followed. Before leaving the room I heard the whispers of what I believe he had meant to keep to himself: "You're so fucking disgusting..."

I can't control my bodily functions any more than I can control my Seizures. He then left the room moaning and groaning out of fatigue and frustration. The excruciating pain of my bladder spasms soon caught up with the pain of internal wrenching. When I believed I was done emptying myself. I called him back into the room. He shuffled into the space collecting cleaning supplies along the way. He threw the wet wipes onto the bed and shuddered under his breath approaching me. During the duration of the cleaning process, he continued to complain and breathe heavily. Once he turned me back over onto my back he proceeded to clean my peri-area. He isn't gentle. He presses deeply and despite my screams and protest will always continue to clean the way he sees is best.

Soon after he had finished cleaning my peri area I asked to be turned back onto my side again. I then went into full-body cramps and extruded more toxic waste from my bowels. I heard him curse under his breath and tell me to text him when I was finished. This time the pain of my bladder spasm coupled with the pain of the internal wrenching. He came back later to help clean me up but didn't lie back in bed next to me. He decided to return to the living room couch and sleep until my caregiver arrived in the morning.

I realize that I'm not the same person I was before. But I am still human. I do still have feelings that can be damaged. I don't want to rely on other people the way I have to now. I don't even want to be in the position where I'm retrained by my body to a bed or a chair 24/7. But I am. This is my reality and I'm learning to accept it. It would help if those around me could too.

#disability advocacy #disabled people #wheelchair #ableism #disabilities #disability #cpunk #medical ableism #physically disabled #fibro #chronic illness #chronic disability #chronically ill #chronic pain #spinal cord injury

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savagecuhnt · 1 year

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I posted 1,220 times in 2022

That's 492 more posts than 2021!

519 posts created (43%)

701 posts reblogged (57%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@myriadxofxmuses

@heartxshaped-bruises

@goddamnmuses

@glitchexmachina

@thrall-of-the-hill-arch

I tagged 913 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#ooc - 158 posts

#writingxthexsilence - 93 posts

#answered - 74 posts

#<3 - 44 posts

#indie horror rp - 35 posts

#heartxshaped-bruises - 34 posts

#✖║𝕾𝖆𝖛𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖈𝖚𝖍𝖓𝖙║✖ ⛧ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕝𝕪𝕟 ⛧: 𝙰𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 - 30 posts

#dark rp - 26 posts

#glitchexmachina - 26 posts

#✖║𝕾𝖆𝖛𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖈𝖚𝖍𝖓𝖙║✖ ⛧ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕝𝕪𝕟 ⛧: ship ☾ 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚗 & 𝙴𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#✖║𝕾𝖆𝖛𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖈𝖚𝖍𝖓𝖙║✖ ⛧ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕝𝕪𝕟 ⛧: ship ☾ 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚗 & 𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗

My Top Posts in 2022:

@heartxshaped-bruises asks ‘ do you ever think we should stop meeting like this?’

Spoken words come as a surprise to the witch as she stands from a crouched position. There’s a self satisfied smirk that plays at the corner of her crimson stained lips as she wipes the blood splatter from her face. She wonders how long he’s been standing there in the shadows, watching as she takes the life from yet another shit stained soul. Petty criminals are never truly missed, no big news announcement, no man hunt for their killer, just another criminal off the streets and out of the hair of the boys in blue. An easy target, and easy payday. Gloved digits slip out what cash is in her victim’s wallet before tossing it beside his lifeless body. Joe now has her full attention.

“now why would we stop such romance, hm?” boots cross the space between her and Joe, gloves now coming off and stuffed into the small bag she keeps over her shoulder. “I was wondering when I’d run into you again. I can almost say I’ve started to miss you.” there’s no sense of personal space as she wraps her arms around him, lips pressing to the side of his masked face. “If I knew you were coming, I would’ve waited a little longer.”

18 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

continued from X

@writingxthexsilence

there’s was enough energy left to allow a small smile to stretch along her lips. An obvious stress in his tone. he was worried. and his coping mechanism; comedic sarcasm. “you’d love to watch me take my last breath.” she coughs as hand squeezes at her abdomen. It wasn’t looking too good for her. She was leaving herself vulnerable. out in the open to be snatched up. taken to some prison of a hospital to be experimented on. Eternity as a prisoner just didn’t have a nice ring to it. Death was a better option at this point, but she knew the gods would never grant her such peace.

“I’ve managed to get to some weird storage unit of a place. kinda reminds me of--”she growls out in pain, trying to reposition herself against a wall. “your fun room. I-I don’t fuckin’ know where I am. woke up in a SUV. fought my way outta it. got shot a bunch and uh--” she manages to laugh, “ended up here. bleedin’ out.” she lays her head back against the cool concrete wall, eyes closing as she tries to steady her breathing. “if they find me...you gotta save me. okay?” she wasn’t one for theatrics, hates showing emotions, though Ethan was one to witness such break downs. Raw emotion she never usually allows anyone to see. he was different. He understood. It annoyed him, that she was certain of, but it wasn’t enough to push him away. and only if he knew just how much she appreciated him for that “there’s so much shit I haven’t told you--”

she feels her eyes well up with fresh tears, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she fights back the urge to cough, “just fuckin’ swear you won’t leave me behind, babe. even if it looks like I’m dead. You fuckin’ take my body and keep it somewhere safe if you have to--” another growl as she begins to cough. blood pours from her mouth and she knows she’s about to lose consciousness. “Don’t let them take me away again...don’t let them use me....”

See the full post

21 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

@gadgetmxn liked for a starter

heels of her boots click behind her with haste. she’s slipping in and out of the way of late night city goers, moving passed them on the sidewalk. she keeps checking over her shoulder. she sees no one, but she feels them. feels their presence. she’s being followed. has been for the past fifteen minutes. what was supposed to be a quick recon job, has twisted into a bigger issue for “The witch”. usually going unseen, like a ghost, she had undeniably been sloppy.

“Excuse me. pardon me. get the fuck out of the way.” she snaps as she hits the corner, now beginning to pick up speed. she finds herself sprinting through neon lit city streets. inked digits gripping her duffel bag at her side. she can hear the thudding of quickly approaching footsteps coming from behind. she makes the quick decision to turn one last corner, clashing bodies with an unsuspecting stranger. she drops her bag in the process, managing to kick it off to the side as she grips onto the stranger. She repositions them as she presses her back against the cool, brick wall, arms throwing themselves over their shoulders as she presses her petite frame to theirs. glacial orbs gaze pleadingly up at them, “Please, just go with it.”

face buries itself in the crook of their neck, body swaying side to side as she hears the footsteps stop, angered voices muttering back and forth before the footsteps begin to lead off into the opposite direction. she lingers for just a bit longer before she pulls away enough to smile up at the stranger, “Thank you. I’m pretty sure you, in better terms: just saved my life.” she pulls away to grab her bag, tossing it over her shoulder once again. “Thank you. Really.”

See the full post

21 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

inked digits hurriedly pull large headphones from ears and let them rest around her thin neck. Her attention is focused as ice blue hues stare down at a key pad in hand, her eyes move from screen to key pad as she mindlessly types in codes. She looks over her shoulder, then back to the screen. She’s muttering to the music that blares from her headphones, and then suddenly the Atm screen turns blue and cash begins to spill out. “there we go.” she grins to herself, grabbing as much of the money as she can and stuffing it into the the small black shoulder bag she has across her chest. She’s quick to unplug her key pad and shove it into the cash filled bag, ready to make a run for it.

her rollerblades are fastened tightly to her feet as she begins to speed down the sidewalk. In this moment she feels free, wild, unhinged. Nothing can stop her. Nothing except a mindless idiot crossing in front of her. “Oh Shit--” she swerves to the right and hits a curb, causing her to fly forward, landing to the cold concrete and rolling out into the street. She lays there for a moment, eyes staring up at the night sky as cars begin to honk. “Fuck off--” she mutters to herself. she groans, and rolls onto her stomach, making an attempt to crawl back onto the sidewalk.

34 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“ what do you mean YOU’RE LEAVING ? ” glacial blue orbs begin to sting as she forces back the tears that are beginning to well in the corners of her eyes. hands are shaking, usual gorgeous, raven tresses are a matted mess. “ You chose me, you chose to be with me--” she chokes, “ I’m not fuckin’ sane. and neither are you!” fists slam against the wall, leaving a perfect fist shaped hole in the drywall, “ don’t fuckin’ do this...please.” it’s a struggle to fight back her emotions, and she’s losing miserably.

Sliding down the wall, she pulls her knees to her chest and begins to sob, “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m a fuckin’ mess!” inked digits wipe at her eyes, “I-I don’t know what you want me to say, just...just don’t leave me.”

41 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #ahhhh yisssss My ships <3 <3 <3

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riverdamien · 1 month

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You Shall Be With Me Paradise

"Sloughing Towards Galilee!"

(Nick, 18-year-old Homeless Youth!)

"Today Remember Me When You Come Into Paradise!

"I have never really heard this, and at first it seems scary!

Can I screw up all the time and go to Paradise?

I live in hell now!

The streets are hell!

Believing Jesus, I will arise in Paradise!

Paradise comes quickly, seeing my friend get stabbed and die, I realize time is short!

Paradise seems far away from here in the grime of the street!

You will be a part of my life from here on out!

I am pretty glad to know thieves will be in Paradise!

-------------------------------------

On this birthday, the words of Elif Shafnite ring out reminding me to look up, be alert, and be content:

There are different ways of growing old, perhaps, some wither first in the body, others in the mind yet others in the soul.

And as I struggle with growing old I find myself seeing all of my faults, my difficult personality at times or for some all the time, and my need to always feel like I need to apologize, the words of Dorothy Day to a friend remind me that we are "working towards perfection", and I will always "miss the mark" when I "shoot the arrow" "towards perfection" every day, but I try:

"Remember we are comrades stumbling along, not saints, drifting." "I try!"

As Nick writes each day, he is writing of me, and I am just as good as he is, no better, no less, and I know God will welcome me into Paradise!

I will celebrate John Wesley's renewal of Covenant today, and I affirm with my whole being:

"For I delivered to you as of first importance, which I also received: That Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers and sisters at one time. Then he appeared to James and the Apostles. (I Corinthians 15:5-6).

We believe and trust in God the Father Almighty.

We believe and trust in Jesus Christ, his Son.

We believe and trust in the Holy Spirit.

We believe and trust in the Three in One.

"I am a freelance, a tramp, a vagabond for Christ. I must go until Christ's work is done, I go like the wind." Kawaga and "I will love to the point of folly." Dorothy Day.

I invite you to join me on the journey of another year!

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

Prayer of St. Brendan!

"Help me to journey beyond the familiar

and into the unknown.

Give me the faith to leave old ways and break fresh ground with You. Christ of the mysteries I trust in You to be stronger than each storm within me.

I will trust in the darkness and know that my times, even now, are in Your hands.

Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,

and somehow, make my obedience count for You"

------------------------------------------------

(Temenos and Fr. River seek to remain accessible to everyone. We do not endorse particular causes, political parties, or candidates, or take part in public controversies, whether religious, political or social--Our pastoral ministry is to everyone!

Press Release:

"Jesus continues to be crucified in all those who are crucified in history...There are not enough Stations of the Cross to depict all the ways in which the Lord continues to be persecuted, imprisoned, condemned to death and crucified today!"

-Leonardo Boff

What: Non-Violent Witness in the Tenderloin to commemorate Good Friday!

Tenderloin Stations of the Cross

“A Journey With People on the Street!”

“Our Haunted-ness!”

When:

March 29, 2024

Noon-2:00 p.m.

Meet in Front of Polk Street-Side City Hall

Why:

There are approximately 8, 000 people on the street, without housing, or health care, they suffer from prejudice, anger, and hatred; they are shuffled around as if they are "objects" rather than human beings.

As followers of Jesus, and all who care, living in a war-making and uncaring empire we say loudly and clearly with Jesus: "Love one Another," "Love your enemies", "Be merciful as God is merciful," "Put away the sword," and "Thou shalt not kill."

We witness as people of faith who believe in God's reign of justice, love, peace, and restorative justice!