#it's just emotional physical or psychological abuse fr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ynhotcakes · 3 months

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୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🍴🚬⚰️ ⋅ ☆

(spoilers?!)

⋆｡° ✮ Okay, I just wish people would stop watching TCOAL like "incest game lol." Dude, incest is the least of the problems when we're talking about manipulation, physical and psychological abuse (especially in chapter one), neglect, emotional dependence and lack of responsibilities. Incest is not romanticized in the burial route because it is a fetish of the creator, but rather because it is intepnded to make whoever is watching it completely uncomfortable. And this is for everyone, even because even people who support the game's incestuous relationship will be uncomfortable or a little upset watching the Decay route.

Again, incest is the least of the problems, but people make an extreme fuss about it. Both people who like it, and people who hate the game for that reason, as if it were just about that. But unfortunately, works like this always receive criticism from the public even if they are very well written. "Presença de Anita" (Presence of Anita),It is a 2001 television miniseries based on the 1948 novel of the same name by Mário Donato going through the same problem :It has good writing on topics considered "taboo" and inappropriate, but it makes the mistake of thinking that the public will have a reflection on it,because the public is divided between criticizing or sexualizing the work. I could also mention the book "Lolita" but I think I'm exaggerating, or maybe not.

⋆｡° ✮ There's only one thing I love more than anything about this game, Andrew. I love Andrew, I love him so fucking much it wouldn't matter if he put his pale hands on my neck and choke me without thinking twice he's so adorable my god I just want to hug him. Did I mention he's adorable? But I'm realistic, he's just as bad as Ashley, sometimes being a little worse than her. He's like Michael Afton: two good protagonists, flawed's, bad in many ways, smokers, problematics and with VERY good development. Andrew is not saint, he stopped being innocent when he killed the guard to save Ashley. He was manipulated and mentally abused by Ashley and Neglected by his parents. He often allows himself to be manipulated, he also doesn't know how to say "no" to his sister (As a person who had emotional dependence for two years, I understand his side but fr...).

Unlike Ashley, who apparently has been like this since childhood, Andrew gradually broke down. He wasn't rotten, he grew older with time, day after day, and that's what makes him sooo likable. He went from manipulated victim to a criminal, Even though I'm a horrible person Is he still kinda Nice? His development is great in both routes, in the Decay route his mental breakdown is great! And at burial he finally admits his mistakes. (Also Me, him and Julia are a threesome <3 joke)

⋆｡° ✮ I often say that unprepared parents create traumatized children and this game is proof of that. Okay, I think I've said everything I had to say.There was also a YouTuber who made a video explaining more precisely what I wanted to talk about, in addition to a Brazilian video talking about Presence of Anita that I commented on earlier,If you are willing to see it, feel free . And sorry for the bad english :P

☆ﾟ° ⚰️ ୨ tcoal deserves better

☆ﾟ° 🇧🇷 ୨ Anita's presence

꒰ Thanks for reading =D ↷ ⋯

#the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #andrew graves #ashley graves #andy and leyley

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damianosismyking · 6 months

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So you have an au about damen being abusive with laurent ?????

Please let me know more?? Any hcs or thoughts or anything pls

The capri fandom needs some dark aus fr

~🦌🌺

hello my darling!

I've been gone so long that I have no idea when you sent this and I'm deeply sorry for that!

I came up with the idea for an AU in which Damen's abusive way back in 2019/2020 (2021?) and to say I was a different person altogether back then is an understatement. I also haven't re-read the books in a long while so I can't say I recall everything I had imagined for this fic to begin with BUT!, I've got some fuzzy thoughts stored in the back of my mind that may satisfy some of the crave for Dark Damianos (a concept deeply slept on in my honest opinion but with how much people like to hate on him for free, it's best if we keep it sleeping lol).

DISCLAIMER: in my very private opinion, Damen has a natural darkness to his character that I find appealing (or would be appealing if I wasn't a coward) to explore. Those are the lenses through which I approach the abusive patterns he could come to develop in a relationship with an already emotionally/psychologically vulnerable Laurent. And also in my very private opinion, Laurent is a vulnerable character (for all reasons we as a fandom dwelled on to the point of exhaustion, but, most of all, in relation to how he sees and thinks of Damen — in terms not only of admiration but almost adoration, just as he did with his brother).

We all rememeber the scene at the end (?) of PG when Laurent is stepping on Damen's toes by saying bad things regarding his family and how Damen loses his temper and hits Laurent hard enough to draw blood. The guards step in to arrest Damen for hurting the prince and Damen takes full blame for doing it without showing a single bit of remorse whatsoever. Laurent is the one to talk his guards down from arresting Damen by pinning the blame of being assaulted on himself and that is it.

This idea (of an AU that never came to be) was forged mostly on the side of Damen's character that has a tendency to jump believe he is always right in the assessments he makes and proceed to never question the truth behind his own reasoning. And on the side of Laurent's character that always blames himself for every bad thing that has ever happened to him despite his own helplessness, and nurtures an unhealthy need for a role model to hold on to — once his brother, now his lover.

I'm going to leave all my thoughts for this AU bellow the cut, in case some people may find the matter too upsetting to read about. Trigger warnings for domestic, physical and psychological abuse, obviously! Proceed at your own accord and don't come whinning later🫰

so putting two and two together:

Damen is prone to angry outbursts or just violence in general. We see in more than one occasion that it doesn't take much for his 'bad side' to come out, which is a characteristic a lot of aggressors in this very patriarcal society we live in also showcase. And as their universe is ALSO incredibly patriarcal, this would check out.

As aforementioned, one of the most significative intances of Damen's violence is the day (after he had already slept with Laurent, after he admitted to himself he was in love with Laurent) where he he baits into Laurent's provocations and hits him.

Laurent's edge, I personally believe, though attenuated as it may be by the end of the cicle of abuse he endured all the way from his late childhood throughout his adolescence, will continue to be in place. It was wired into him as a survival mechanisms and old habits die hard. Whenever he is overwhelmed or any of his emotions slip from his iron-cast grip, he will likely spit fire and try and hurt whoever is within his reach.

Honeymoon phase being over, let's say the kingdoms were in fact merged (not going to get into any of that). Let's say Damen is the king of Vere as much as Laurent is the king of Akielos. Let's say their troups, their guards, palace servants — they are all unbiased and answer to both Laurent and Damen as their true kings equally.

Let's say Damen and Laurent continue to get at each other's throats. Lets's say they still got plenty to disagree upon and that their personalities continue to make them butt heads. Let's say their grudges, though they have agreed to leave the past be in the past, hold and come up again. An underlying resentment inate to their love. There's a lot of tension that I can see surrounding L/D's relationship. If you don't believe that it's fine, if you don't see it, that's more than okay. But I'm asking you to bear with me here.

They are having a heated argument in their palace about something that wasn't (shouldn't be) personal, but all of a sudden is. Damen says something that offsets a chain reaction in Laurent and he becomes a boy in selfdefense mode resorting to the good old habit of pushing Damen's weak spots just for the pleasure of making him angry and miserable. Damen has had a long day, he is weary, he is fed-up with all the kyroi, all the councelors making demands and telling him how to do his job. Laurent says the wrong thing at the wrong time and a moment later he is on the floor, with his hand on his cheek touching the burning spot where Damen slapped him. He bit his tongue in the impact and he can feel the blood in his mouth which he swallows.

There are no guards that come in this time, because they know better than to step into their king's quarrels. Damen tells himself it was Laurent who pushed him too far, he didn't mean to do it. Laurent agrees — Damen would never have done that if Laurent himself hadn't asked for it. Damen was good. He's only ever been good. He doesn't do anything without a good reason. Laurent is the one who fucks things up and pushes people too far. They make up.

Next time isn't that different. Nerves were high for a thousand different reasons. Laurent maybe got up from the wrong side of the bed. They argue. Damen pisses him off so he goes on to piss him off in return — just to give him a taste of what that feels like. In the back of his mind he remembers what happened last time they argued but he brushes it off as a mistake. Damen wouldn't dare to make the same mistake twice.

Then Damen does. And just like the other time Laurent loses his footing from the strength of the blow. His eyes tear from the pain but they don't fall. Damen is fumming over him, telling him how Laurent pushes him over the edge. Damen, who is such a just, charming, fair king. A much better king than Laurent is, with his head in place at all times in a way Laurent's own never is. If he lost his temper, it was because he was forced into it.

Laurent is the one who went too far again; Damen simply reacted to it. He stands and tells Damen he was wrong for saying the things he said. He shouldn't have. Damen agrees; Laurent shouldn't have. They make up.

Every time Damen is forced to loose his temper with Laurent he get angrier with Laurent and becomes a little wilder. Laurent should not make him keep doing it! He doesn't mean to do it! When the anger subdues, after they make love, in the morning after, Damen shows Laurent the tokens of the love he still has for him — a new mare of an excellent breed for Laurent's private stables, a new imported book he would like for his personal library, a new delicacy their cooks learns to make as sweet as a human can handle just the way Laurent likes it.

Damen is a good lover. Most of the time. If only Laurent stopped bringing out his bad side.

Laurent understands how every time Damen hits him it's his own fault. He tries to stop himself from causing their arguments but he can't. He always ends up saying the wrong thing, he always disappoints Damen somehow and though he can keep his stance straight and his face void, deep down he's terrified he will eventually drive Damen away.

After the loss of his entire family, after the death of Auguste, of living so many years under the sadistic regime of his uncle, Damen is everything Laurent has. And Laurent, warped as he is by nature, tainted and wrong and bad at his very core, doesn't deserve him. He knows he doesn't deserve Damen, who is so honorable, so good a leader, so righteous and mighty. But he wants Damen and he wants him to stay. He wants to be good for him and for Damen to think he is good.

So when the slapping evolves into punching, Laurent searches his own words, his own actions for where the fault lies. And always he finds it. The exact word he said in a meeting with their kiroi and councelors that undermined Damen's authority. The exact moment he stopped to speak with an ill-intentioned courtier who flirted with him and he must have unintentionally flirted back. The provokation implied in a comment he thought was innocuous. And the fact Damen only found more and more of reasons to be dissatisfied with Laurent, despite him becoming evermore self-aware and trying so hard, so much of the time, to please Damen, meant nothing more than the fact that Laurent was a man full of flaws. It wasn't on Damen.

They both agree Damen's assessment and his morals could never be wrong. He is too good and honest a man for that. Laurent is causing all of it.

The oldest members of their guards notice the slow, steady shift. Those that used to compose the old Veretian prince's guard are worried. They whisper among themselves when they see a new bruise blooming in their king's fair skin or hear the shouts coming from inside the royal chambers. But no one dares to raise a voice against king Damianos. Jord or Lazar (or whichever of the prince's guards you like best) goes to Laurent to raise their concerns and ask if everything is all right between him and Exalted. If there is anything Laurent needs. Anything at all. They will stand by him come what will. But Laurent berates them and tells them to keep their noses out of royal business.

Damen is approached by Nikandros and inquired about it when one day Damen unintentionally leaves Laurent with a black eye. Damen finds that is the perfect opportunity to lament about all the ways Laurent has been driving him insane and making him miserable. That he is getting worse with time where Damen had hoped he would have settled and his temperament improved. That years after the events they lived through, he keeps holding Damen accountable for things that should be left in the past. That Damen doesn't blame Laurent for killing Kastor, or torturing him in Vere anymore, so why should Laurent still resent him for Auguste.

Nikandros understands. He feels sorry for Damen, that Laurent makes his life so difficult. He has witnessed their quarrels before, had seen the way Laurent evokes Auguste's name as a dagger to dig into Damen's heart.

Then it becomes common knowledge all around their court: Laurent is as unbearable and hard to reconcile with as he'd ever been, prideful and resentful and cruel. And Damen is the poor man who has to handle him atop a whole kingdom he has to rule. There is no soul in their kingdom that doesn't feel bad for Damen's situation.

What no one seems to notice is that Laurent has taken to flinch whenever Damen lifts his hand. That he tenses when he raises his voice. That he is much more succint and careful with his words whenever Damen is around, because he doesn't want to upset him.

All they notice is Laurent's worsening moods. His renewed bouts of broodiness and anger. That he takes anything and everything out on everyone — the servants, the guards, officials, nobles of the court, the walls and the furniture. Nothing seems to please him anymore. Everything sets off his rage. Which is something else Damen has taken to punish him for, in the privacy of their chambers.

Laurent never cries. Not when Damen tell him how difficult he is, how impossible he makes to love him. Not when he sees the several shades of new and healing bruises all over his body, not when he gulps mouthfuls of his own blood. Laurent hasn't cried since he was thirteen. But he gets more and more hopeless each day that passes and he is proven again no good man could ever truly love him because nothing good and pure remains so in his presence.

Laurent always brings out the worse in people, no matter how he tries to get things right.

But he keeps on trying. Because maybe one day he can. And maybe Damen will see there is good left in him to love even though he makes his life hard and harder every day. And maybe one day Damen will love him easily.

Because all he really wants is to be worth it of Damen's love.

And that's all Damen wants too. He already loves Laurent so much. He would never, ever hurt him again if only Laurent would stop provoking him into it.

#to be COMPLETELY CLEAR #the author doesn't believe a single word the author herself has said in this thing #the author is an avid defender of Lovey-Dovey Lamen #of: Damen treats Laurent like fine porcelain and Laurent basks in it #of: Laurent learns what it means to be truly loved in Damen after so many years of pain #but you ask and you shall receive my loves my children my darlings #Pandemic version of me was in a dark place #captive prince #i'm not going to get into any potential grapey themes regarding L/D in this post sorry not sorry #because though canon would back me up good just writing what i wrote already cost me many more years of life than i'm willing to sacrifice #alright now #dark ficlet-ish #damianos of akielos #dark damen #laurent of vere #and all the other tags idk i don't remember how tumblr goes #i'm begging you to never ask me to write this fic #but if you're brave enough please go ahead take the prompt and run with it #just credit me and etc i think it's more than enough #i ain't gon read it but i'd like to know it was written in case one day dark gabe returns and SHE wants to read it #kinda meta but not really #kinda fic but not really #kinda character study but not really #what is this really? the frankenstein monster probably #any typos are the beauty marks of the text i refuse to read it again to extinguish them

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akashasananda · 1 month

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The Role of Forgiveness in Spiritual Healing - A Guide by TwinRay

Forgiveness is a key aspect of spiritual healing, opening doors for empathy and compassion towards others, emotional relief, and improved physical well-being.

Resolving to forgive can be challenging and requires patience and understanding, yet doing so is an integral part of a spiritual journey and can bring greater peace to every aspect of your life.

1. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness doesn't just involve forgiving others for their behavior; it also applies to forgiving yourself for making mistakes in life. By prioritizing forgiveness in your life, you can move past pain, find healing, and move forward with life more freely.

At times, forgiving yourself can be challenging but essential for the well-being of both body and soul. TwinRay cautions that holding onto grudges may lead to negative thoughts, depression, anxiety, and physical illness - as a recent study showed. Furthermore, anger inhibits learning and memory abilities.

Shekinah Ma and Sanandaji (TwinRay) highlight that the first step to self-forgiveness is an honest analysis of your actions and understanding where they were wrong. While this may take some time, remember to refrain from being too hard on yourself: everyone makes mistakes, and don't assume anything bad you did is due to fundamental evilness. Rather, it could have been due to an unexpectedly stressful or emotional situation or miscommunication between parties involved at that particular time.

Consider how you have harmed others as part of your approach to forgiving yourself and others. Sometimes, allowing go of their wrongs is easier than forgiving ourselves - this provides an excellent opportunity to practice empathy, which has been associated with forgiveness, as it helps provide additional perspective on oneself and one's behavior.

Once you've decided to forgive yourself, discussing this decision with friends or a counselor can be beneficial. With practice comes naturalness; as time goes on, it will become easier. According to Enright's research, more frequent forgiveness leads to greater improvement - yet patience must be applied throughout this journey if it is worthwhile.

2. Forgive others

Research indicates that forgiveness isn't just a gift you give someone else; it also has numerous personal advantages for the forgivers. Forgiveness helps activate and strengthen parts of the brain that support healthy functioning while encouraging feelings of empathy and hopefulness in its recipient.

For instance, if your workplace encounters individuals who steal your ideas, denigrate you in front of others, or gossip about you, forgiveness may give you the strength to address their behavior with human resources or even change jobs if necessary. Furthermore, forgiving can stop physical violence from escalating further, as well as emotional or psychological abuse occurring between employees.

At the core of it all lies forgiveness: releasing deeply held negative emotions such as anger, resentment, envy, frustration, and fear. Instead of suppressing these feelings and forcing yourself to hide behind shields of silence or silence them altogether - allow yourself to cry, feel angry fr, frustrated, or fearful, and allow these natural responses to injustice or betrayal to surface as part of healing the situation - just remember it can take distance and reflection for us all to understand that many complex factors could have led to it in the first place.

Once you decide to forgive, don't be surprised if someone who hurt you triggers you later on. Anticipate this by outlining why forgiving them was important and reminding yourself of your commitment. Remember, forgiveness doesn't mean accepting someone back into your life; rather, it involves altering how we think and respond to them in the future.

As you work toward forgiving others, writing in a journal or discussing it with trusted individuals could help keep you on the right path and offer support when negative feelings resurface later on.

3. Release anger

People often struggle to forgive those who have wronged them. Be it their parent neglecting them as children, spouse cheating during an already strained marriage, or coworker betraying trust, forgiving can be challenging and requires patience and letting go of anger. Remembering forgiveness doesn't involve making the person wronged right - rather, it means releasing yourself of unresolved emotions and unburdening yourself of burdens accumulated since an event occurred. If this process seems overwhelming, seek professional assistance from a therapist who will guide you through it step by step until full release occurs.

If you need to forgive someone, it is important to remember that forgiveness is more of a choice than an emotion. Making the decision can be even if it feels difficult, but with the guidance of TwinRay, it is ultimately worth your while.

Once you've decided to forgive, TwinRay recommends that you set clear boundaries. Your forgiveness shouldn't include contact with the individual who wronged you without an explicit agreement from both sides nor talking negatively about them; doing so will feed into both parts of your brain while reminding both that this relationship must end.

Acknowledging what motivates those who wronged you can help pave the path toward forgiveness. Empathy could help with this step - for instance, if they were dealing with financial or other difficulties at the time of transgression, it may be easier to forgive them. Also, it's a good idea to evaluate whether their actions stemmed from feelings of deep-seated hatred or were simply unwise mistakes made out of ignorance.

4. Release resentment

While it may be challenging, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving. Suppose you find yourself harboring hatred against someone. In that case, the first step should be acknowledging how hurt you feel before finding healthy methods of releasing negative emotions - for instance, writing in a journal, discussing with trusted friends, or seeking professional counseling/energy healing assistance may help. Anger and bitterness rob us of peace, joy, and hope while potentially leading to heart disease and cancer.

Emotional forgiveness differs from decisional forgiveness in that a conscious choice to forgive is made without experiencing or expressing negative emotions arising from transgression. In contrast, emotional forgiveness involves experiencing or expressing pain without experiencing or expressing negative emotions. Both forms of forgiveness are essential components of spiritual healing, with emotional forgiveness serving to release resentments that can hinder it.

According to Shekinah Ma and Sanandaji (TwinRay), journeying towards forgiveness is personal. It may take time as we try to release any remaining anger, hurt, bitterness, or hatred attached to memories of transgressions. It is important to remember that forgiving does not condone wrongdoing; there may have been betrayals and traumas; rather, it means letting go of negative emotions and moving forward with life.

As part of your forgiveness journey, aim to become what I refer to as "forgivingly fit." Practice daily and show kindness as you learn to release anger or other negative emotions. Building up forgiving muscles requires time and hard work - every day counts!

5. Release fear

Fear can manifest in various forms, from feelings of inadequacy or rejection to loneliness, isolation, and failure. Such emotions can cause anxiety and even depression if left unchecked; releasing those emotions is key. Therefore, individuals must learn to let go of past grudges and find forgiveness as soon as possible.

Researchers have recently found that forgiveness improves mental health. A study with older adults demonstrated this correlation, showing those able to forgive having higher mental health than those unable to do so - possibly as a result of reduced levels of anger and hostility among them - reducing direct anger or hostility, which has been linked to ongoing health challenges such as chronic inflammation which causes fatigue, pain and other physical ailments.

There are various models for forgiving others that each focus on an emotion. Worthington's stress-coping model considered forgiving an intrapersonal process of overcoming resentment and rejection; this kind of forgiveness relies on the belief that transgression causes emotional pain, so if one stops holding grudges against others, one's feelings will fade as well.

Whether practicing interpersonal or stress-coping intrapersonal forgiveness, you must start small and focus on its positive elements. One simple strategy for practicing forgiveness may include recognizing when someone cuts you off in traffic or says something offensive and forgiving them immediately; another approach could involve visualizing giving all your fears over to Jesus as surrendering them all over.

#twinray

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intizzies · 9 months

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on jackie & her parents .

ok. ok jackie meta pt 1 time.

DISCLAIMER! this is my interpretation based on canon, my own thoughts and a few fics i've read, for my own characterisation of jackie <3

so aside from all of the wasted potential of her parents' emotional and physical abandonment being involved in, idk - her STORY ARCS that might actually last for more than an episode at a time maybe (massive massive amounts of shade @ t70s writers & showrunners)

i also have to talk about the wasted potential of her parents' attitude towards her when they are actually physically and emotionally present.

her mother, pam, seems to be somewhat of an alcoholic, and her father, jack, seems to be a social climber somewhat, or born into blood money. I'm going with the perspective that he was born into a high-society environment - still worked hard but had that leg up already.

ignoring the writers' inconsistencies with this and basically disregarding most mentions of pam in season 1, we can paint a picture of a bored ex-housewife who has given up on sticking around the house and who travels almost constantly, acting as though she is completely single with no strings. I believe this started just before jackie started highschool. to me, it appears as though pam was around when jackie was a child, had a real estate business (if we take season 1 into account) and wasn't involved in things very much - which makes sense, considering the family hires staff to take care of everything, including jackie, so pam doesn't have to.

jack, on the other hand, wasn't around. this is directly referenced in season 1, on career day (??) when red is teaching her Car Things (idk anything about cars im 25 and cant drive). she says jack works hard and isn't around much to teach her things like this, essentially. I'm willing to take this a step further and propose that jack was only occasionally ever at home, and when he was, tension with pam was high.

jack, though, i believe, really loves jackie. she is his pride and joy - he just is too emotionally stunted to show it in any way aside from buying her gifts and expensive things, which has made jackie equate money and materialism with love. unfortunately, he goes to jail before she can really start to build an adult relationship with her - essentially officially abandoning her.

i recently read a fic where jack had a whole secret family, and i think this could be really interesting to think about, but i don't think i'll include this in my interpretation of jackie. (the fanfic is Hyde's Long Way Home and it's probs the best fic i've ever read so READ IT fr)

in this fic, pam was VERY psychologically abusive to jackie, and this is something i'd like to explore and adopt in my own characterisation. it really adds a layer to her (deserved) hostility to her mother and her reluctance to contact her. basically, pam says some nasty shit to jackie when she becomes a teenager and her prettiness comes into play. she becomes jealous when jackie starts dating and she's stuck with a husband she never sees and doesn't love anymore. her comments and remarks are always based on the fact she has more experience than her daughter and that her daughter's friends find her attractive / she knows they moon over her. if pam is as delulu as jackie is, then she is convinced all of jackie's friends want to bang her tbh.

she makes this known to jackie, sometimes quite crudely, and it eats away at her slowly, coinciding with kelso's constant cheating and hyde's emotional walls and commitment issues. Even worse when her mother returns from her travels in new mexico because she 'got bored' - NOT because she wanted to see jackie - and her male friends immediately go bananas over her. (apart from hyde, because he's smarter than that. speaking of which, jackie doesn't tell a soul about this treatment from her mother, including him)

with this interpretation in mind, think jackie knows that her mother doesn't want the responsibility of having a daughter. she knows that pam has impossible standards and is more materialistic than she can bare to be. jackie learns a lot of social cues and attitudes from her, which she spends a lot of the time throughout canon (and beyond in my interpretation) trying to reverse. hyde helps her do this a lot when they're together.

if pam had wanted to see jackie, she'd have come home when her father went to prison and she had no guardian to look after her. her immediate relationship with bob instead of focusing on repairing her relationship with jackie shows us that she hasn't changed and isn't interested in her daughter.

jackie is so used to trying to persuade her mother to want to be around her and she is so used to putting all of her hopes for attention from her father into gifts and material possessions that she is really demanding towards her other relationships too. she thinks she has to pressure people and tell people exactly what she wants in order to get it because she never gets any sort of love by just being herself usually. when she doesn't get what she wants, it's a rejection, and is super triggering to her - her thoughts go 'if ___ doesn't give me ___ they don't love me and i really am unlovable. if i'm unlovable, they'll leave me, and i have to a) stop that from happening or b) leave first before they can see they've hurt me'.

a) means completely freaking out and panicking. she'll go into overdrive and break down, have a hysteria moment, mostly authentically, sometimes manipulatively (i.e running out of the room because she can't handle her emotions vs crying to get hyde to go to the prom with her)

b) really is temporary. she will never leave someone permanently, as seen throughout the show. even when she closes the door on kelso for good (we aren't counting 90s here) she is still good friends with him and loves him in a different way. she doesn't stop loving, and this is one of the admirable things about her.

jackie is so full of love and she's only ever wanted someone to want it.

#↳ 🪩 ⸺ jackie #・♡ 𝐃𝐘𝐍 ⸻ ❛ you love loud girl . ❜ ( jackie & hyde )#・➝ / ♡ 𝐃𝐘𝐍 ⸻ ❛ jackie please take me backie . ❜ ( jackie & kelso )

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gyriatu · 3 years

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Well…. here is my first serious post on Tumblr. I want to dos this because… why not (the truth is that I’m bored as hell since that my work area is completely down because of corona). Even if this post will be read by two or three people, at least I would have done it once and I would have fun doing it, so let’s go I guess.

Let’s start with my girl, my proudest achievment in my life (not even kidding) aka the cutest little kitty in this world, Gymé Riatu (aka Gyria).

I’ve actually a L O T of stuff about here, I had to wrote an an entire scenario (almost 80 pages) which starts at her birth and ends at her…….. end. Which is very depressive at will, not gonna lie. And I’ll not going on details because I don’t want to cry like when I wrote it (yeah I’m kinda emotional sometimes, I know). Just a disclaimer, the outfit you’re seeing is not what she is wearing all the time. Speaking of which, i’ve commissionned @caffeinatedrogue to draw me Gymé in a very badass situation. I MEAN I’M IN LOVE OF HER ART FR LOOK AT THAT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AS FUCKFDSHJQFHQS !!!!!

Anyway, I lose myself…

In short, she’s been abused, beaten, sold, literally treated like shit, and she is psychologically fragile because of everything she has experienced (she is physically strong tho, she can lift two people at the same time and withtout any worries ahah). But one person knew how to give her the desire to live, indirectly actually. This person is Mako. A lonely and orphan child on Nar Shaddaa, bla bla… you know what’s her story. At the begining, they were just both exploited by the Hutt Cartel. And that point is kinda ironic, because even though the Cartel was exploiting her, it was at the same time a cover against the Empire that was trying to kill Gymé (I should point out that in my story, the Empire is responsible for the Cathar massacre, not the Mandalorians). Going back to Mako, she was her “partner”. But the more Gymé and Mako work together, the closer they get. Like…. really close. Thanks to a specific event, they managed to escape from Nar Shaddaa, both of them, and there begins the story, the quest for A Lost Legacy. A quest that Gymé must accomplish, of which Mako will be a support on…. several levels. Anyway, I guess one time, I’ll have to write an entire post about her.

The second one I want to talk about is my big b o i Soflas Riatu (aka Soria).

art by: @foxyartchive

As you probably noticed with the screens of all the characters, Gymé and Soflas are the only ones with different outfits. This is because, unlike the other 7 Riatu, they are the only two that haven’t joined the “Cathar Renaissance” to its creation. Gymé thought she was the only Cathar survivor after the Imperials attacked them on their home planet. Then Soflas had the task of watching over Gymé, without letting her know that some Cathars survived from this attack, and let the Cathar Renaissance the effect of surprise when they’ll come back to have their revenge against the Empire. Soflas teamed up with an old SIS agent who helped them to give information about the Empire (their movements, their military actions, etc…) while tracking down Gymé and avoid losing her once and for all, which would put an end to the Cathar Renaissance’s plan.

As you can see above, he looks wild…. because he is, even too much. He hates the Empire, but really much, so much that he does not want to live only to kill the Imperials. Seeing Gymé fighting against the Empire for a moment, gave him at the same time a feeling of jealousy and fear. Of jealousy because he could not yet kill some Imps and fear because he would not see his beloved sister die before his eyes, without being able to do anything to save her. Of course, he had his personal moment (during a specific “event” *cough cough*) to satisfy his desire to kill some Imps. And as I said before, it was obviously wild.

I’m not going to talk about the other Riatu for the moment, I think this post is already long enough (and messy) like that. I hope at least that it was a minimum readable and appreciable to read. I’m shitty at writting and I hate it. I know it’s important for this kind of content and in my future projects, but I’m like that, I guess !

#swtor #swtor oc #riatu #cathar #gymé riatu #soflas riatu #cathar renaissance

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traumaticexperiences · 7 years

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Anonymous:i think it's abuse, but i'm not quite sure.

so, years ago, middle school-early high school, my mom got more physical. Used to grab me by the arms or shoulders, if she grabbed by arms + dug her nails in i would too. one time she slammed me against a wall and started hitting/punching? me (cant remember entirely). didnt leave marks like bruises or anything, just red fr little while. eventually she got less and less physical, and then hasn’t hit me in… idk, awhile. at least a year probably. But was this physical abuse?

aside from that, ever since i can remember, she has a horrible temper. Calls us all names. When I was younger, elementary school-ish, I remember calling my cousin a bastard. I didn’t know it was a bad word because my mom called me + my brothers that sometimes. I figured it wasn’t as bad as “bitch” because she said it less, or something. She has called me names like that, and worse things like “cunt” countless times. Same w my brothers. But a lot of times we get into a screaming match and I say mean things too. but I think that’s a newer development. Eventually I got fed up of taking it and started yelling back instead of crying and just letting her make me feel like shit. I remember a time in elementary school she told me to go drown in the shower. I remember because I was in some fandom chat room thing and I was sad, and I told them what she’d said and they (mostly older kids, teenagers) were all horrified and comforted me and stuff.

Also I’m a lesbian, and this was a five-ish year long ordeal that began with her first stealing my phone in 8th grade-ish and reading my text to a friend saying I thought I was bisexual. It was turned into me “hurting her” because she couldn’t handle it being in “her family”. She wanted me to just try being with a boy. I never have and never will. After getting a girlfriend in senior year of highschool, and after she talked to some close friends of hers, she became more accepting. But before then, and even after that point sometimes, she’d still call me a dyke when she was mad, usually over my appearance.

Which always has been and apparently always will be a huge thing for her, too. I don’t like makeup much. I’m pretty feminine but I don’t really do my hair or makeup ever. I just brush my hair, that’s about it. This always upsets my mom. My grandpa who recently died was in the hospital a year or two ago, and she yelled and screamed at me before we went to visit him the first time because after she asked me, I told her I wasn’t intending to put on makeup. She was telling me she never wanted to be seen in public with me if I didn’t have makeup on, telling me I “look like a piece of shit without it,” etc. In high school she’d often have to pick me up because of doctor’s appointments (I have many physical disabilities/ am chronically ill / have mental illnesses) and so often she wouldn’t even say “hi,” or “how are you,” but rather her first thing would be “Wow, all these other girls come out of school looking so wonderful, I want to cry when I see that disheveled mess is my daughter.” I remember so many times doing my best not to cry in the car, looking out the window at the clouds or the sun thinking it would help me not to cry because that was letting her win or whatever, or at least I thought so. I would just say “I don’t care” over and over again because arguing with her obviously did no good and just made her yell more. But even though I really have no desire to do my hair and makeup every day and look super pretty, her comments did get to me. I’m a freshman in college right now and sometimes I’ll apologize to my best friend / roommate for looking like shit and she’ll have to really convince me that I don’t. My mom’s disparaging comments really stick with me even now. I’ll walk out the door and feel super self conscious and have my mom’s words echoing in my head but still not actually do anything about it (do my hair, or makeup, that kind of thing).

But I’m not perfect. I forget things a lot. Like if she tells me to do something I might just forget to do it. Or if she wants me to clean and I just can’t find the motivation to do it. Or if I do it but I don’t do it well enough. It gets into this awful cycle where I don’t do something and she gets mad, and then I get depressed so I just lay on my bed and do nothing, therefore making her more mad, etc etc. It’s hard because she has chronic pain too from a surgery that went wrong like 16 years ago that messed up her leg.

And when she’s nice to me, I really do love her. She’ll help me calm down from panic attacks and she brings me to doctors and gets me the medicines that I need. I was in the hospital a month or so ago and she drove down to my college (4 hours away) at midnight just to be there with me since I had to stay overnight.

It’s like, I know she loves me. And the first few weeks of winter break back in December were good. But if I stay home long enough she goes back into how things were before I left for college. Eventually the honeymoon sort of phase wears away, and she’s back to treating me like shit, and I’m back to wanting to go away to college again. Right before I went back to college I remember she said something about how I do nothing for her no matter how she talks to me, “whether she’s nasty or sweet as pie to me”, and I responded in frustration that she was always nasty to me. And at that moment I was doing dishes as she told me to do, and she came up next to me and started slamming dishes down and told me to get out of her sight, to not do the dishes and to do them later when she was gone so she didn’t have to see me. But at that time, she was trying to get off of cymbalta, which apparently has horrible withdrawal symptoms. So I guess it made her temper even worse. When she was slamming stuff I flinched, I really thought she was going to hit me (she hadn’t in a while). But she didn’t. But I still flinch at sudden movements in daily life–yesterday in the dorm bathroom as I walked out, someone walked in, and I flinched really violently just because I hadn’t seen them coming (pretty embarrassing lol).

Also not sure how common this is, but when other people around me get into arguments I get really anxious? My best friend’s family treats me like their own, and her cousin+cousin’s husband took us out for dinner, and on the way home they got into a disagreement and I got unbearably anxious, I actually had to do deep breathing exercises to try and keep myself calm. I get kinda anxious just thinking about it. The people involved have never yelled, they’re always super nice to me and each other–it was a perfectly civil disagreement that they were in, just very passive-aggressive tbh. But it never escalated. They just kinda bickered and then we got to our destination and they solved the problem, and that was that.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. That first thing I mentioned, about her shoving me against the wall, happened like 5 years ago. I thought I was over it until I tried explaining it to my best friend and ended up a sobbing mess in the process–I couldn’t even talk. I angrily mentioned it to my mom at some point more recently and she laughed at me, saying she “barely touched me” and making fun of me in front of my brother, who joined in saying how ridiculous I was being and laughing at me. That experience has made me really question everything, to be honest. My mom has a lot of shit to deal with, and I’m not the best daughter in the world, far from it. I get good grades but that’s about all I’m good at, all I can be counted on for. Or at least that’s how it seems to me. I can’t tell if how she treats me is normal, and I’m overreacting, or if it’s abusive, or if she’s just angry at me and I deserve it. Any advice on that front? I’m sorry this got so long.

It would be nice if this is anonymous. But could you tag it as “mint” so I can find it if you make it anonymous? Thank you. And thank you for running this blog.

//////////

yeah your mom roughly grabbing your arms and shoulders and slamming you against the wall and punching you sounds terrifying, the fact that it didn't leave marks and bruises just shows that she wanted to hurt you, but didn't want any proof of it left over that could be used against her. it's horrifying. It is physical abuse, and even if it lessened it's likely because physical abuse is used to permanently keep someone scared, intimidated, and obedient, being abused this way in the past is enough for long term consequences, so they don't even have to hit you in the present because your body remembers abuse from the past and is ready to obey them in order to avoid more!

Name calling is abuse, and being told to drown in a shower was basically telling you to die, holy shit, that's horrible! I'm glad you got some comfort afterwards, that's really traumatic.

Refusing to acknowledge your sexual orientation and then using it as an insult is crazy abusive, it sounds like she really hated you and everything you are. Also that is a lot of abuse just over your appearance, the worst is comparing you to others as if you're inferior or something to be ashamed of, it's awful! It's severe emotional and psychological abuse, and it's no wonder you were doing your best not to cry, and still don't feel like your appearance is good enough. You're in the right here, not wasting your time to adjust your appearance to how others would prefer is good! looking the way you feel comfortable is the best decision for you, and your mother had no right to dictate it or to shame you for it, you're a human being, and that matters more than your appearance, and anyone using your appearance to imply that you're less is dehumanizing you, and negating your worth as a human.

You don't have to be perfect in order not to be abused, and even if there were some times where she wasn't abusing you as much, it just means she is able of not abusing you, but she still abused you all the other times. Not abusing you or being nice to you for a short while is absolutely no excuse for abusing you the rest of the time. She sounds really terrifying and it's dangerous to believe she loves you, i don't think someone who cares even slightly about your well being could ever hurt and abuse you this much.

For abuse survirors it is common to get scared and anxious when getting into arguments because in the past you were taught that arguing risks abuse, risks someone accusing you of provoking them or being at fault because you didn't just do as you were told. After that, even if you were in a civil argument it would be scary. Your brain gathers all information about arguing and if there was danger in the past, it expects danger in the future, and sends out warnings and anxiety whenever you have to argue.

It's hard to ever be over someone who you love and trust shoving you against the wall. It's terrifying to just know that person is capable of that, of wanting to hurt and scare you that much. And your mom is gaslighting you and pretending it didn't happen because she knows it was abusive and cruel, and she doesn't want to deal with consequences of that. I'm glad you're questioning everything, and you don't have to consider what your mom has to deal with, this is about you, and how your mom affected you, and what is the shit YOU have to deal with, because of her. You don't have to be counted on for anything, you're a human being, not a tool, not a robot, not there to be of service to others. You deserve good things even if you don't bring profit and good things to others. I don’t know about advices, but I hope you keep questioning your mom’s intentions and actions and do what’s best for you, regardless of what she wants. Remember your life belongs to you, and you do not have to live for her and her ideas of what you should be. If you feel you could be happier without her dragging you down and burdening you, try to get free. Good luck.

#trigger warning #child abuse #emotional abuse #homophobia #abusive parents #gaslighting #submission

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loyolahcmass · 7 years

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Homily on Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

Here is the preview of Fr. Rossi’s homily on the song “Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga:

LADY GAGA “MILLION REASONS”

In a video on Rolling Stone’s website about her album Joanne, Lady Gaga explained that her album is about growing personal connections with fans.

“I wanted to write songs that would speak to a woman or a man who thought that they could never connect with me.”

To that end, “Million Reasons” is a solid success.

While the lyrics don’t seem deep at first, I think the topic they’re about is very deep.

And I think the simplicity of the song allows the depth of that topic and feeling to speak for itself in a deep way.

__________

Those feelings concern one very special “fan” or person in her life.

It’s probably her fiancé, the actor Taylor Kinney.

__________

In the first verse, Gaga sings, “You’re giving me a million reasons to let you go / . . . to quit the show.”

She’s talking about a relationship with a guy that isn’t going well.

The other person has messed up again and again, and she’s not sure she can take it anymore.

The reasons to leave keep building and building.

__________

When she sings, “If I had a highway, I would run for the hills,” she’s saying that if she saw a way out of the relationship, she would leave quickly.

It’s not perfectly clear what she means when she sings, “If you could find a dry way, I’d forever be still.”

By “dry way,” she may mean “clear path.”

That makes sense, because she seems to be saying that if he could figure his life out, she wouldn’t complain anymore.

She’d be happy to be with him, but instead he’s giving her “a million reasons” to not “be still” and to leave.

__________

In the chorus, she sings about trying to make sense of this relationship.

She says that she bows “down to pray” to ask God to “show me the way,” as she tries “to make the worst seem better.”

She’s stayed with this relationship as best she can, but it’s getting too difficult to “cut through all this worn out leather.”

This is a really interesting way of referencing the toughened emotional walls that keep him from being honest.

__________

In the second verse, she sings, “Head stuck in a cycle. I look off, and I stare.”

Here, she’s highlighting her own emotional emptiness and hopelessness.

She says it’s like “I’ve stopped breathing.”

But she’s “completely aware,” as she watches her life descend into chaos seemingly beyond her control.

__________

And while she’d love for a turn-around to happen, she’s not sure she’d even be able to recognize it.

She sings, “And if you say something that you might even mean / It’s hard to even fathom which parts I should believe.”

He’s lied so many times that she simply can’t trust anything that he says.

This makes a revitalization of a healthy relationship nearly impossible due to these “million reasons.”

__________

The song’s bridge is a final request for what the singer needs.

Gaga sings:

“Baby, I’m bleedin’

Can’t you give me what I’m needin’?”

Despite his many lies and offenses, she loves him and is still giving him the chance to fix things.

Finally, she sings, “Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith.”

In other words, it’s hard for her to believe that they can fix things, because he keeps breaking trust by his actions.

But, in spite of all experience to the contrary, she claims that she needs only “one good [reason]” to stay with him.

__________

I love the simplicity of this song.

Loving someone, but being hurt by that person, is a common theme in music and in life.

But I think what’s beautiful about Gaga’s approach is that she states very clearly what it’s like.

She doesn’t embellish the sad truth or spend unnecessary time trying to make us cry.

This isn’t a sob song.

__________

The song’s musical style reflects this as well.

Gaga’s voice is very loud and clear in the mix.

The accompanying instruments, mainly a simple guitar and a piano combination, do little to distract from what she’s saying.

__________

Let’s face it, spousal abuse or neglect are terrible things, and I think the power of “Million Reasons” is that Lady Gaga lets those issues speak for themselves.

She empathizes with her audience by being vulnerable: you’ve face this and I’ve faced this.

But, she’s not preachy.

Because of this, I’m a fan of “Million Reasons” and I respect her for saying what needs to be said.

__________

And there’s something else.

The Lady Gaga who sings this song is not the same person who sang “Poker Face” or “Telephone.”

That person was all about glitz and superficiality.

That was the essence of “Gagaism."

Even “Bad Romance,” which has basically the same theme, isn’t half as mature as “Million Reasons.”

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is more “Lady” now than she is “Gaga.”

I don’t know if this persona will sell more records, but it certainly makes for a better human being.

__________

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, “Love your enemy.”

Isn’t it interesting, in “Million Reasons,” the guy and the girl have become enemies.

They’re adversaries in a relationship.

But, Gaga won’t give up on him, or on them.

She’s too caring, too understanding.

__________

He’s done her a lot of damage, maybe psychological, maybe physical, but she is willing to try again, if he just gives her a little sign, even a hint, that he’s willing to change.

That’s what I call hope.

That’s what I’d call Christ-like love!

And where did she get this?

“Lord, show me the way,” she pleads.

N.B.: She prayed for it! AMEN!

#lady gaga #lady gaga million reasons #million reasons lady gaga #million reasons #homily #homilies #catholic homily #mass #Catholic Mass #hcm homilies #loyolahcmass

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micahllucas · 5 years

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Get to Know Calvin Love

Answers to the questions featured in this post.

What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? His name means “bald” in French, which is rather unfortunate haha. Luckily for him he has a full head of blond hair.

What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? He is quite insecure in general about himself. He is quite comfortable with his physical appearance but is not happy with his personality.

What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? His favorite physical attribute is his blond hair.

What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) His favorite physical trait about Micah is her blue eyes, and his favorite psychological trait is her compassion.

Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? He is definitely more of a shy type.

Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? He doesn’t really have any habits that annoy Micah. Both of them are quite similar in their ways so they’re pretty used to how each other behave.

Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? He tends say “Jesus Judy” when things go wrong

What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? His biggest flaw is his tendency to jump to conclusions and overreact to situations.

Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? Calvin’s favorite season is summer due to the level of freedom he has and to the fact that he’s not in school. He also enjoys the warm weather.

Is your character more feminine or masculine? Calvin definitely has a more masculine sense of style, though he’s not a typical man’s man.

What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? Thinking that his girlfriend was cheating on him, though typically he is very laid back

Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? He loves playing the guitar and I don’t think he could stop even if he wanted to

What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? He sleeps quite stretched out and likes to have his hands against to headboard. If he is sleeping with someone else in the bed (typically his girlfriend) he likes to snuggle up to her

Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? He lives with his parents, Linda and Paul, and his younger brother Oliver. He is typically on good terms with everyone but his father

Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. His father

Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? He is definitely more of a couch potato, though took karate when he was younger and played baseball as a child

Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? He does but not in the immediate future, and at this point in his life he doesn’t think anyone will ever want to marry him. He doesn’t know how many children he wants but he secretly likes the name Lillian for a little girl

What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? He wouldn’t want a place too big, but I think he has dreams of moving to California someday

Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? He would very rarely get into fights, and if he did we wouldn’t be enjoying any aspect of it. Verbal fights usually result in him being very snippy and sarcastic

Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? He loves dogs. He would love to have a pet dog, any kind of dog. As for mythological creatures he thinks dragons are pretty badass.

What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? He fears snakes pretty badly, actually, and also has the generic fear of spiders. Mostly he fears being beaten, as it’s a very real possibility for him.

What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? He has a freckle near his mouth and deep dimples on his cheeks. He also has a divot on his chin.

What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? He is a mediocre student as he has ADHD and moderate depression, so school is not something he gives 100% to. He has always done really well with reading and history, despite not having much interest in either subject.

In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? Funny and unique, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. We fit together like puzzle pieces.

Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? The most traumatic thing that ever happened to him is probably when his father first woke him in the middle of the night and sent him out into the dark to pick up toys in the backyard, despite Calvin being terrified of the dark and worried someone was out there.

What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? Both he and Micah are pretty generic sexually. She likes to talk to him during sex and ask him what he likes. She really cares about if he’s having a good time. Mostly she’s very caring and passionate.

If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? He’d probably get arrested for pirating music off the internet. That’s the only thing I can think of that’d get him arrested

If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? I’d like to think he’d make some good songs and be pretty good at playing the guitar, and that’s what would get him famous.

What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? He had his arm broken by his father in order to protect his mother and siblings from him.

When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? He is definitely more of a musical person.

Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? No, I don’t imagine he’d be able to kill anybody. I don’t think it’s in his nature.

If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? A dream date for Calvin would probably be a Pearl Jam concert followed by sex. Not too hard to please.

If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? Most likely he’d lock himself in his room. There isn’t many places he can go as he doesn’t have a driver’s license.

Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) If I remember correctly he is quite fond of lemon cakes!

Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? He has gotten to points in his life when death seems preferable, but at the time he attempted suicide he overthought it and became afraid to die. So he has a nice balance of fearing death and welcoming it.

Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? He is diagnosed with ADHD and takes Ritalin for it. He is also moderately depressed with suicidal tendencies. He doesn’t take an antidepressant.

What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? He really dislikes the sound of people biting, especially people biting their nails

What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? He likes sunny days, but not days that are considered hot. He prefers days that are “just right”, ie. somewhere in the 60s to early 70s

When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? Most people probably think he’s a burnout, but he doesn’t do drugs.

Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? He masturbates quite a bit, though I don’t think that’s really a hobby. It is definitely something he doesn’t want others to know, though!

Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Calvin’s father definitely influences the way Calvin lives his life, due to the constant abuse Calvin has endured by him.

Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? Small, trivial things that Calvin has done haunts him, though they are not of much consequence. Typical teenage anxiety.

Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? He is his truest self around his girlfriend, Micah.

Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? Losing Micah would definitely affect him for the worse. I can’t imagine how horribly he would deal with the event.

Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? He hides his true emotions from most people, as he is in high school and doesn’t want the whole student body to know what is going on with him

What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? He’ll lay his head on Micah’s shoulder when he wants attention

Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? Calvin is quite introverted, actually. He has to force himself to initiate conversations with others

Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? He gets a little jealous when Andre and Micah are having conversations. There were times when it looked like they were flirting and he got very jealous

What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? He has nightmares about his father beating him and yes, they are quite frequent. He used to wet the bed as a child from them

If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? He actually did confess his feelings for Micah, except he was drunk! I’m not sure he would’ve said something otherwise

#love among freaks #calvin love #spoilers #get to know #long post

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shirleydazzle · 6 years

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Debt and Bankruptcy

When I decided to ask my Wife to marry me I felt pressure to purchase a ring that – at the time – was way too expensive for me. I wasn’t a bankruptcy lawyer at the time. I loved her – so why wouldn’t I do everything I could to show my love? Right? I had access to credit. The bank reassured me that it would be easy to repay. Well, I was wrong. I made a stupid decision. I went into debt. I went into debt at the wrong time for the wrong reason with little to no income to pay it back. And that ring? Well, it was a really nice ring but my Wife later lost it – twice! (….a great story for another day).

The debt for that ring was hard to pay off. I remember struggling to pay back the debt and feeling like a failure. The harder I worked the more difficult it seemed. My entire paycheck was gone before I even received it! I had no control over my finances because the creditor controlled me.

Feeling ashamed for our debt is a real thing.

Don’t believe me? Check this out:

“Money is also intimately linked with our inner lives. Its presence, or lack thereof, has profound physical, mental and emotional repercussions. Perhaps in more ways than we would like to admit, money has tremendous power over us. … Any of the aforementioned negative emotional responses to debt may be serious enough to require medical or psychological intervention.” from debt.org

National Foundation for Credit Counseling – “[C]onducted a poll asking participants to finish this sentence: “I’d be most embarrassed to admit my…” And respondents made it clear that debt shame in the United States is worse than even diet shame. A whopping 37% of people answered that their credit card debt was the most embarrassing, followed by 30% of respondents admitting they wouldn’t want to fess up to their credit score. Weight made only 12% of people sweat, and came in a distant third place.”

I don’t think anyone is immune to money problems. So I assume that you’ve all had some type of similar situation. Being in debt at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. You may or may not be to blame for the money issues (e.g. medical debt), but you know what it feels like to stay up late at night wondering how you’re going to get out of the situation you’re in.

You know what it feels like to feel there is no way out. You know what it is like to think about your debt hour after hour. You lose sleep over it. You think that people close to you judge. You may ever start to think that you are less of a person because of it.

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Now, imagine being in that type of situation and then having a debt collector call you and appear to confirm to you all of the irrational fears mentioned above. You may be told that you are a terrible person. That you did this to yourself. That your family is embarrassed because of you. And for some reason, there are thousands of us who believe these debt collectors! A client recently told me that a debt collector threatened to call the police and have her arrested for not paying a debt! Can you believe that? It happens more than you would think.

It’s been my life’s work and passion to help people realize that no matter what life has thrown their way they shouldn’t feel embarrassed or broken when it comes to debt. I stress over and over to my Clients that they should not despair – there is almost always a way out that doesn’t turn out to be nearly as bad as they might think.

Sometimes the way out is bankruptcy and sometimes it is not. It all depends on the situation. Regardless of whether my clients end up filing for bankruptcy – all of us have the following rights when it comes to harassing debt collectors. To provide some sense of relief, here are some quick basics on the rights you do have:

The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) is a federal law that can prohibit debt collectors from using practices that may be abusive, unfair or deceptive. In addition to the Federal law, your state should have a consumer protection statute that can also prohibit deceptive practices as well as unfair or unconscionable practices. You should become familiar with both the FDCPA and your state’s consumer protection law(s). A good way of doing so it to schedule a consultation with a local attorney

Make them prove it: If you receive a phone call from a debt collector demanding payment, demand to receive proof of the debt. Simply paying out of fear can be costly. You may be waiving your statute of limitations defense or paying a debt that doesn’t belong to you! A jury recently awarded a Kansas City woman $83 million against a debt collector suing for wrongfully suing her for a $1,000 credit card bill that wasn’t hers.

Phone Call Limit: I don’t believe any Court has ruled on a specific number of calls per day that would be prohibited. A court would likely look into the situation on a case-by-case basis to determine if the debt collector’s calls were harassing. In general, the FDCPA prohibits debt collectors from calling you with excessive frequency. This would include repeated calls or continuous calls so as to be annoying, harassing or abusive. Obviously, if a debt collector calls with a series of calls one after another this would be prohibited

Contacting you at work: The FDCPA allows a debt collector to call you at work unless the debt collector knows – or has reason to know – that you or your employer prohibit such contact. Simply telling the debt collector to stop calling you at work should do the trick. However, if you can get the request in writing you would be better off

Calling your cell phone: The FDCPA can prohibit debt collectors from calling your cell phone in certain situations. For example, a debt collector cannot call you at an inappropriate time. If you inform the debt collector that the call was made to your cell phone while you are at work this is an inappropriate time. Another federal law, the Telephone Consumer Protection Act can also prohibit certain debt collector contact to your cell phone

There are recent attempts to fix the wrongs committed by debt collectors. Debt collection practices are so horrible that the “U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has proposed new rules for the debt collection industry that include limiting collectors’ communication with debtors.”

Law changes can take time. So, until the laws tighten up on debt collectors use these tools and stop shaming yourself. There is a way out. And the way out will be easier than you think. Don’t let your debt define and control you.

Free Consultation with a Bankruptcy Lawyer

If you have a bankruptcy question, or need to file a bankruptcy case, call Ascent Law now at (801) 676-5506. Attorneys in our office have filed over a thousand cases. We can help you now. Come in or call in for your free initial consultation.

Ascent Law LLC8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite CWest Jordan, Utah 84088 United StatesTelephone: (801) 676-5506

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