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ausfortheheart · 8 months

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lust life - SIRIUS BLACK

(sirius black x female!reader)

summary : you've been hooking up with james potter over the summer, but when you return to hogwarts you find yourself drawn to his best friend. you've adamantly hated sirius black throughout your school years, and you're sure the feeling's mutual... or you were

a/n : hopefully if things turn out well this will be a story with at least 5 parts (probably more)? so feel free to stick around :))

warnings: sexual references, strong & suggestive language, 14+

other parts:

PART 1 (current)

PART 2

PART ONE

Hands buried in his jet black hair, you kissed him heatedly as he pushed you against the wall. Void of any thoughts, your mind was focused solely on the rush of adrenaline that the feel of his hands on you was causing. After a few minutes you pulled away, and looked into his dazed green eyes with a small sigh.

"I should get going, the girls will start wondering where I've gone." You said, your voice dazed and distant.

He nodded almost reluctantly, looking you over once more before leaving, giving you the chance to quickly fix your smudged lipstick in the mirror before also exiting the cramped toilet. You poked your head out of the door and checked the corridor of the train for anyone who might be watching, but thankfully it was empty. Flattening down your skirt, you made your way back to your friends' compartment.

You and James Potter had been hooking up for... 3 months now, was it? You weren't entirely sure and you hadn't exactly been keeping track. It had started off just before the fifth year of school had ended, and it had continued over the summer. It was simply founded on - like most things - sexual attraction, with both parties strictly agreed to no strings attached. It had stayed that way since. Potter needed an output for his energy (of which from personal experience he had an abundance of) and you were scared to commit emotionally in a relationship but still wanted certain benefits, therefore your arrangement just worked.

⚜

Sirius smirked as James entered the rickety train compartment, his hair even messier than usual and his glasses spread jauntily across his face.

"So, how was she?" Sirius asked, humour evident in his voice as James rolled his eyes whilst sitting down.

Remus and Peter looked up from the chocolate frog cards they'd been comparing (who had gotten the rarer card: "wanna swap?" "i will for your dumbledore"), finally taking notice of James' disheveled appearance.

"Who?" Peter asked, looking between the two boys nervously.

"His sneaky link of course- the one he won't tell us about." In that moment James felt extremely vulnerable as Sirius' eyes raked up and down him, looking for any sort of clue.

Remus quirked a brow, and Peter's faced promptly turned red as he busied himself by stuffing a struggling chocolate frog into his mouth.

James shrugged, "Good. Nothing much to say really." He paused, taking notice of Sirius' suggestive expression, "And it's definitely not like what you're thinking." He emphasised the last part, picking up the latest daily prophet that was strewn across the floor. James began to rifle through the pages, clearly not reading a thing.

"Who is she?" Sirius exclaimed, ignoring James' previous comment, curiosity biting at his voice. "This has been going on for months now, Prongs, and you haven't even introduced her to us!"

Sirius paused, taking a quick glance at the blond with the remnants of chocolate frog spread around his mouth. "I mean Peter I understand.." He lowered his voice, "but Remus and I... I'm your best friend. Plus I always tell you about the girls I'm with." He said pointedly.

"Only because you have so much to say; there's a new one every bloody week." James gave up pretending to read the newspaper and gave Sirius a look. "Sorry mate but it's just the truth. I'll tell you at some point she's- just not ready."

Sirius stood up with a dramatic sigh, a sign that the interrogation was over. At least for the time being. "I'm going to go grab some pumpkin pasties, anyone want one?"

Peter raised his hand, and Sirius began to leave when James stopped him.

"Here." The boy with the round-rimmed glasses gestured to the money in his right hand.

"James." Remus muttered warningly. He knew that Sirius could never accept money from his friends. Especially not from the Potters, who from Sirius' perspective were already kind enough to allow him to live with them over the summer ever since his parents had completely cut him off.

Sirius paused at the sliding door without fully turning around, so that only the side of his face was visible. "I can handle a few pumpkin pasties, Prongs." Sirius' prior demeanour of happiness vanished, and James realised his offer to help his best friend had likely offended him instead.

James quickly retracted his hand, "Yeah mate, of course."

⚜

"-and then I hexed him, because what kind of asshole stands a girl up at Madam Puddifoots?!" Your friend and fellow Slytherin Serafina exclaimed as you burst out laughing. The two of you had always been good friends, and had gotten especially close in the past year: largely due to the fact that you had the same humour.

All of a sudden the trolley lady popped into view as she stuck her head through the open compartment door.

"Anything from the trolley dears?"

Your eyes lit up, saying that you adored food was an understatement, "I'll have a-"

"Got any more pumpkin pasties?" A voice interrupted you, a look of disdain making it's way onto your features.

Sirius Black was in the corridor of the train, right outside your compartment. This had taken you by surprise- you hadn't expected to see him so soon. You had been hopeful that you wouldn't have to see Black at the very least until when lessons began. His sudden appearance had caught you completely off-guard. Granted, he hadn't exactly changed all that much since you had last seen him- which happened to be during an extremely awkward and unpleasant encounter during the summer holidays, just as you were heading to the Potter's home to meet James whilst his parents were away. You had made up some silly excuse at the time, waiting for an hour in a coffee shop before you dared to return to the Potters' home. But then, you hadn't really had the chance to properly look at him, since your eyes had been focused on your trainers in an attempt to conceal your red face.

Mind snapping to the present, your eyes drifted again to Black. His dark wavy hair was now chin-length, just about long enough to brush against his defined jawline. From where you were sat, he seemed noticeably taller too. A shame, you thought. The days during your first three years of Hogwarts - when you had been able to make fun of Sirius Black for being shorter than you as it was the one advantage you had - had clearly long gone. On top of that, Black appeared to have visibly matured. His air of arrogance and mischief were still there, sure, but he looked more... burdened. The dark circles underneath his eyes didn't escape your notice.

All of the girls around you except for Serafina immediately began to smile shyly.

Black, completely unaware, was in the middle of grabbing four pasties when he noticed his gaggle of admirers.

"Ladies," He acknowledged with a smirk, and you got the distinct impression that he was basking in the attention, like a cat in a garden enjoying the sunlight.

That was until his gaze fell on you. "(L/n)." He dragged out your last name in a disinterested tone, the anger in his foggy grey eyes betraying how much your appearance bothered him. Apparently you still got on his nerves. Good.

Your glare somehow increased as your eyes met his. It wasn't until the trolley lady asked again for what you wanted that you broke off from his stare. Black, taking that as a sign of victory, went back to his gang of troublemakers, allowing you to finally relax and scoff your cauldron cakes. Serafina had watched the two of you interact, now deep in thought as she absentmindedly fiddled with an empty chocolate frog box.

After a few moments of bated breath followed by a reassuring click as the compartment door slid shut, the girls began to giggle amongst eachother. Their gaze flickered to you every so often as they excitedly recounted what had just happened. This behaviour was pretty normal, and so you had learned to block it out by now. The girls you and Sera were with in the compartment were just some Slytherins you'd sat next to in class before, so it wasn't like you were obliged to chat with them or anything.

Lost in thought, you leaned your head against the cool window, swirling your tongue around your mouth as you savoured the taste of the delectable cake. Here was to hoping that your sixth year would be as sweet as the chocolatey goodness in your mouth.

Saltiness flooded your taste buds as you accidentally bit your tongue.

my first piece on this blog done ! 🫣

thank you for reading! please leave a comment of your thoughts as i'd love to know what you think so far & it'd be v encouraging to know if you're enjoying the story ! lmk if you're interested in finding out what happens next ahahsh :')

feedback appreciated as long as it's done kindly <3

#Sirius black #themarauders #Sirius black x reader #James potter #James potter x reader #Remus lupin #Peter pettigrew #harrypotter #Hogwarts #The marauders era

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7grandmel · 4 months

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Todays rip: 27/12/2023

Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options

Season 1 No Album Release (Read More) Options - Mr Rental: The Video Game

Ripped by NBGMusic

youtube

Yeah, I missed yesterday's post. My bad - you're getting two posts today instead. For such an occasion, I wanted to feature two rips of vastly different sides of the SiIvaGunner spectrum. And, well, I feel like it's been a while since we've covered something truly deranged and out-there, hasn't it? Excluding Your Rip's Shit, Mr. Grinch, which arguably does count, the last time we truly went into the trenches of SiIvaGunner's absurdity was, like...waterwraith pokos from a month ago? Regardless, its time we drop all this Christmas spirit for just a second and reminisce upon the true best SiIvaGunner story arc - the Mashup Crusaders arc.

The strange name of today's rip, Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options, is one that I promise does make sense in the storyline's context. Though Season 1 is many things good and bad, one thing it will always have over the channel's later years is that air of surprise and experimentation, with tons of independent ripper-driven passion projects and shitposts coexisting with few things actually planned for the channel's long-term future. That's part of how I've been able to feature so many memorable rips from the Season despite its short 9-month run and often underwhelming rip quality, how we got excellent rips like Collision Chaos Good Future JP [CD Beta Mix] and Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday - as performed by Bob Dylan, and indeed how we eventually arrived at the Mashup Crusaders arc. Born from the mind of one NBGMusic and based loosely on the meme-happy qualities of the Mr. Rental Facebook page of 2016, it was a series of rips follow two different incarnations of the aforementioned character across two different games. And while one was a lighthearted spoof of the Looney Tunes series, of what I'm going to unofficially label the "A-Side" of the story, it was the B-Side that immediately grabbed people's attention.

Indeed, though the Mr. Rental seen within the A-Side story was a kind soul, with his rips depicting him helping SiIvaGunner's memes good form and aids in ripping, the B-Side depicted a destructive, chaotic force of nature, in a fully animated and "voice acted" MS Paint-drawn world. Mind, this was long before the Christmas Comeback Crisis, and just after The Reboot had ended - the "Mr. Rental: The Video Game" rips were some of the only times we'd be seeing full-on animated depictions on what we presumed was the continuing story of the SiIvaGunner channel.

In the end, the Mashup Crusaders arc was moreso just NBGMusic's little playground to express his opinions and sense of humor as a ripper more than an actual continuation of the core storyline of the channel. But the popularity of the character he'd created was undeniable - through the sheer force of repeated shitposting, Mr. Rental had become a somewhat core cast member of the SiIvaGunner story. And I feel like Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options was the moment where that status was wholly cemented - the episode where, after hearing one too many low-effort mashups (Snowball Park - Super Mario 3D World, anyone?), Mr. Rental goes on a killing spree and declares his intentions to wholly eradicate mashups from existence.

Beyond being just a genuinely really funny series of rips, it was with this episode that things really began to get interesting. Because from time to time, this crazed Mr. Rental would begin appearing in other rips on the channel, proudly declaring his intentions - most famously in a simple mashup of Super Mario 3D Land's theme and Chip tha Ripper, with him literally shooting the rip to death eleven seconds in. From this silly side project, the community suddenly had a sort of villain character present within the channel's inner workings - and this was long before the concept of Figments and the in-canon inner workings of SiIvaGunner would become clarified within the lore later in Season 2 and Season 3.

Though the Mashup Crusaders arc sadly didn't get the proper wrap-up it deserved, all of the excitement and surprise that surrounded it will forever be some of my fondest memories with Season 1 of SiIvaGunner. Before the Christmas Comeback Crisis, before Wood Man, before Haltmann, before the King for a Day and King for Another Day Tournaments, and before the SiIva AI - when all we had was SiIvaGunner, Chad Warden and The Voice Inside Your Head, it was such an exciting time to learn that the wheels inside of the SiIvaGunner storyline might still be spinning. Even if it took the form of an Australian rental service mascot declaring war upon low-quality rips.

#todays siivagunner #season 1 #siivagunner #siiva #tentative rip name #NBGMusic #mr rental #mr own #siivagunner lore #siiva lore #christmas comeback crisis #siivagunner ccc #ms paint #Youtube

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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months

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went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate.#ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented'#stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

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piracytheorist · 10 months

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Okay I gotta admit it, I logged in today just to check my notifications and messages because I was curious. Seems like cold turkey isn't something I can do, but I feel like I've found things to occupy the time I'm not spending on tumblr anymore, so I feel distancing myself from the site is possible. Not having the app on my phone anymore helps.

Anyway, I took a quick look on twitter today, and while I didn't see any sxf spoilers, I did see a post about a thematic week that I won't be able to take part in, not even as an audience, because it will be centered around stuff I haven't seen yet.

And damn me, I want to read further into the story so bad. It's been almost six full months since the last episode aired, and I'm finding myself wondering what is happening next based on the vague spoilers I've gotten. And there's at least three and a half more months left. I just know, I know it, that I will enjoy the story three times as much seeing it animated - and like, if I'm truly honest, my main drawback from manga reading isn't that it's not animated, or acted, or even coloured. It's that my way of reading it is not how it's intended to be read. Like, if I could have the chapters printed out for me, that would be ideal. Like:

Reading the story like this? Feeling the pages in my hands, seeing the wide and two-page panels in all their glory? Terrific. Perfect. 10/10.

Reading it like this? Having to scroll up and down for long panels, zoom in for small speech bubbles and out for wide panels, pixels getting distorted based on how zoomed in I am? No, thank you, immersion go bye bye. If I had a vertical monitor I probably could have worked it out, but I don't have a vertical monitor nor can I afford one right now.

And you'll tell me, well, a lot of further chapters are available in the next volumes. And I'll say, I'll probably work only for half of July, my contract ends after that, and in August I may need to move out to a different city so I won't even be able to get a steady job that won't work me to the bone. And I'm on a tight budget, so even the forty euros (being generous here, cause volume 10 isn't easily available to me yet so 10 euros for it is a generous offer) I would spend on the next four volumes are money I cannot afford right now. Plus, I know they don't reach to the current chapters so I would still have a ton of spoilers to avoid.

I don't know why I'm explaining all this lmao. I just feel like I don't want people to think I'm an anime snob. Because by god with every week I feel my resolve break. If I actually make it to October without having read one single manga chapter it will be a miracle. It's such a weird challenge I'm putting myself through, I don't even know if y'all can understand it. It's not like it's a challenge I can "win", or a challenge I can award myself for passing. Maybe a bit of venting can help, idk. It's not like I'm asking for recognition or pity or something, I am aware of how weird my choice may seem. I just had some feelings and thought, "well, fuck, what do I have my tumblr blog for".

Idk. I just feel like I love this story so much and in such a way that I also want to properly enjoy it. If I lived in Japan and spoke the language, you know I'd be running to whatever stores sell the magazine where the new chapters are posted in every two weeks and sit outside the very store and read the new chapter before even getting back home (wait, are individual chapters even printed out in Shonen Jump? I'm not sure I've understood the whole thing completely). But since that isn't happening, my choices are a) waiting for a long time and not interacting with fans, but enjoying the story animated, with colour, voice acting, soundtrack and on wide screen (and yeah yeah it's an adaptation not the original but listen it's a good adaptation and this is why it's drawn me in) and b) getting the full story and interacting with fans now but seeing the story in broken-down panels and messed up pixels, while having to fix the zoom-in and -out on every page. And I know me. I know choice a will make me immersed in the story, while choice b will just give me the details of the story. Maybe I am a snob after all, idk. I'm not making any effort to explain or apologize for myself. I'm just venting, lol. It's been weird and lonely and IT'S BEEN TOO LONG AND OCTOBER IS TOO FAR AWAY T_T

Anyway. Been doing good other than that. I will probably revert to logging out every day in order to try and keep my distance from the site, but coming back every other day or so. We'll see. I have a few messages to respond to (and a few more spoiler-free manga panels to react to! yay!) so I'll get to those today.

#nette speaks #wow that was a vent lol

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wondereads · 10 months

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Weekly Reading Update (07/03/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

Woven By Gold by Elizabeth Helen (8/10)

I immediately picked up the sequel to Bonded By Thorns since it was such a fun read. As with the first one, the romance is very strong and probably my favorite part of the book. Also, we get to know more about the princes (including the evil one) and their complicated pasts with their actions and one another. I felt like Rosalina was adapting a little quickly, but then I remember that she's spent months in the fae world at this point and it seems less unrealistic. As fantasy romances are wont to do, the plot is a little thin and drawn out, but I really only have two major gripes. One, the problem introduced at the end of book one is resolved almost immediately, which was a little unsatisfying, but it did introduce some characters and plot points. Two, the 'big mystery' concerning specifically Rosalina and her family is so obvious. Like, I get that they are not aware of the tropes of the genre they're in, but come on. Surely someone can at least suspect it?

The Wicked King by Holly Black (10/10)

The Wicked King is absolutely my favorite book of Folk of the Air. I just love magical politicking, and Jude does it so well. This sounds weird, but her time in the Undersea is a part that has always stuck with me. She's obviously miserable, but I think it's when I realized just how far Jude would go for her ambitions (and just how far Cardan would go for her) and I love it. Speaking of Cardan, the build in their relationship is so well done; a true enemies-to-lovers arc if there ever was one. As much as I know what's really going on with the twist at the end, it still hurt to read. I enjoyed this reread so much that I ended up changing my rating from a 9 to a 10 because I really can't think of anything to criticize about this book.

Everblaze by Shannon Messenger (9/10)

I think Everblaze marks a significant turning point in the Keeper books. This is the first time we start really interacting with species outside elves, specifically politically, and it's the first time doubt in the council comes front and center. The books are starting to explore what the worldbuilding actually means, and it means a lot of dubious things when it comes to control and privacy. The development at the very end (and I mean very, literally last page) disrupts the pattern that has been set in these books so far, and it definitely makes you want to keep reading. Fitz and Biana sufficiently redeem themselves in this one, but Dex is going to have to step it the fuck up before I even consider giving him another chance, especially since I already don't like his pushy romantic feelings for Sophie. As always, my favorite relationships lie in Sophie and Keefe and Sophie and Grady and Edaline, the latter of which really stood out this book.

The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black (9/10)

There are 308 pages in this book. I highlighted something 228 times. I remember when I read this book the first time I was a little disappointed that there wasn't much of the intense scheming that came with The Wicked King, and I take that back. Maybe Jude's plans are a little more straightforward this time around, but even knowing what was going to happen there was still an insane amount of suspense. The relationships in this book are so strong, and not just romantically. Jude and Madoc's fraught parent-child relationship in particular has me riveted; it's incredibly complicated and so good. But also romantically, Jude and Cardan are at the top of their game this book, and it's amazing to see Cardan so unashamedly in love. They deserve their happy ending and to take off their armor, one piece at a time.

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson (10/10)

I've been interested in this book for a while, but I was finally prompted to read it by the TV show announcement. And I can definitely say I wasn't disappointed. If you watch any sort of procedural show, this will be right up your alley. I loved how the actual investigation was laid out with Pip's notes and diagrams in the book. It made me feel like I was solving the mystery right alongside her. The focus is definitely on the murder, but I still got a good sense of Pip's personal life and how her obsession with the case was affecting her and her relationships. I won't lie, one of the most anxiety-inducing parts was her college applications, but maybe that's just me. I managed to predict who the killer was, but the actual story behind the whole thing made my jaw drop. I can't wait to read the rest of the series and see the show!

Guardians of Dawn: Zhara by S. Jae-Jones (5/10)

This book is not irredeemable. The plot is unoriginal but not nonsensical or boring, the magic is super interesting, and Zhara has a lot of potential as a character. However, most of the characters are one-dimensional and uncompelling and the writing is...not good. The unending focus on the romance when there were so many other interesting things going on was so frustrating. And then there was the unashamed insertion of what is clearly meant to be BTS (yes, worldwide kpop sensation BTS) that completely destroyed my immersion. Also, the disability rep is pretty dubious. I was pretty disappointed by this read, which sucks because I think it had a lot of potential.

Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater (10/10)

This book is like if Pride & Prejudice and Howl's Moving Castle had a baby, and I ate it up. This book perfectly blended a historical romance with engaging fantasy elements. Dora is a wonderful main character; she's lovable and engaging while still have a completely unique personality that really makes her stand out amongst a lot of fantasy romance protagonists. The love interest is suitably snarky while still being respectful and kind, especially to Dora. Their interactions are fun while still being incredibly romantic. The plot works well with the romance and characters, culminating in a very satisfying ending. Finally, I really appreciate the ending for Dora's issue in particular; it works well for her character and is, in my opinion, in good taste. I highly recommend this book, especially if you're looking for a light, quick read!

The Assassin's Blade by Sarah J. Maas (CR, 57%)

I'm kind of just reading this one to get through it. The stories are fairly interesting, but I was told it provides valuable context for Queen of Shadows, which is really the only reason I'm reading it. I'm not a huge fan of prequels; I don't like reading stories that I already know the ending of. So far, while some things have been interesting, like Celaena's training in the desert, it's very obvious that everything is building up to what I already know is going to happen. As such, I have really no interest in letting myself get attached to any of the characters, which is kind of affecting the quality of my reading.

#books #reading update #bonded by thorns #woven by gold #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #fota #everblaze #kotlc #a good girls guide to murder #agggtm #guardians of dawn Zhara #half a soul #the assassins blade #tog

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a4wsome4fu0ck · 6 months

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Hello!! I will say that this drama has affected me personally in a sort of way?? Mel was someone who I used to (and still kinda) idolize since I've been following them since 2020ish maybe so I am rather biased. But I feel like the 26th/27th deadline is a bit too tight since I think the doc was made fully known around September. Mel has other things to do such as sleeping, eating etc. etc. and I've seen on their community tab that people say she's trying to wait for the situation to die down and that it doesn't take this long to make a response. I would like to say that making a response to a 70 page document is obviously gonna take time on top of the fact that they have responsibilities and people saying they don't care. So if we make her rush the response, she's just gonna put out a half-assed one and people will be super unhappy about that. I'm sure she's under at least a little bit of pressure from the deadline and people basically waiting for their downfall.

Sorry if this seemed biased in any way, cause I definitely am, but I think it's important to consider the fact that their life doesn't and shouldn't revolve around her semi-petty internet drama, you know?

Hello Anon! We appreciate your honesty and opinion on the matter and would like to respond professionally that we seem to disagree with this statement.

Firstly the deadline; the deadline was put roughly a month/few weeks ago that we'd give Quartelz two months to respond to the situation. What she has done is made a community post, and allowed her server to talk about it, however from what we are aware, people inside of her server are fearful of bringing it up, and the community post she has up is the only form of people talking about the situation. (Not including this blog.)

We'd like to assure that on the 27th is not the last day Quartelz can respond. She can respond at any time she wants. The 27th is when we will start working on the second document, not when the document comes out. The document could take just as long as well. If she pulls a response before us, then we have no reason to continue the document.

Secondly, the reason why we believe a majority of the people are upset with Quartelz is because of her silence at this moment. We absolutely agree that Quartelz has her own life, including daily activities and mental health. However, Quartelz does not attend schooling, nor from what we are aware, employment, and mainly uses her animations and livestreams as main day activities. There is nothing against this of course; and when you consider this, she did have more than enough time to work and try responding to the document. Reminder that the document came out on August 14th. She's technically had already nearly three months to properly respond and apologize. Instead she chooses to livestream on her YouTube and still make art irrelevant to this situation.

Finally, we would like to state that Quartelz was the one who initiated this situation in the first place that lasted for roughly years. Starting off from changing YouTube titles, to a massive public video shunning Orange, to real, and MULTIPLE, death threats to her ex, drawn and verbally stated, and public harassments to their ex and current partner. We would not have uploaded the document in the first place if she didn't upload the YouTube birthday video of her "running over" her ex.

Calling this situation drama takes away from how serious it truly is. This situation contains possible false SA accusations, to false pedophilia statements. We ask you be wary about calling it "petty-drama". This is not to convince you to stop supporting who you feel as inspiration to you either, you can choose whoever you like to support, watch, or do whatever you want with. This is just to ask you be aware, and cautious.

Thank you for this discussion,

#quartelz #animation meme community #animation meme

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izzyspussy · 1 year

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[image description: a cropped photo of a bullet journal page. there are four squares in shades of green and orange, each with an icon drawn inside. there is a play button, a scene board, an open book, and a love heart. beside each box is something written that corresponds to the icon in a color that corresponds to the box. /end ID]

Media I Loved Last Week + Writing Progress Report

My favorite thing I listened to last week was Die 4 Me by Halsey. I loved her verse in the original and didn't really love the other two verses, so I was expecting to be really into this. I docked it a point because while Halsey's lyrics are better I think the music in the original is better than this version. 9/10

My favorite thing I watched last week was Anastasia, animated and directed by the legendary Don Bluth. This was a rewatch, but I didn't watch anything else this week so it kind of wins by default lol. I docked it a point for I don't remember why but I'm sure I had my reasons. 9/10

My favorite thing I read last week was always been a storm by oopshidaisy on AO3. This thing is ongoing but almost finished now! I've been reading it since like chapter 3 or so was up. It's. Fucking. Good. As Hell. I do find Stede to be a little bit out of character at times (too Good lol), but I've elected to simply not give a shit since every other aspect is pretty much exactly to my taste. Stede/Ed/Izzy. 10/10

I wrote 2275 words total last week. All of those words went to the commission I'm currently working on, which has a deadline in early April. 1512 of these words went to the actual draft, while 763 of them are the outline. That puts me ahead of schedule, and I'm presuming (perhaps in hubris) that this one will be relatively easy for me. It's much more in my wheelhouse than 2/3s of last month's commissions were lmao. Overall happy with this.

#jack facts #music #halsey #reading process #anastasia #ofmd #blackhannet #otplus #fic rec #writing process #progress report #last week

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palavapeite · 1 year

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@aha-my-villainous-thoughts tagged me in the Last Lines game thingie. Thank youuuuuuu!!!!

Not quite sure how that works, but since I haven't touched any of my WIPs in a month and also have a bad habit of not writing from start to end necessarily, I'm just gonna have to wing it, won't I? For some of these it's gonna be the last sentence of the draft/manuscript and for some the last bit I remember writing. Also, it is highly likely that more than half of these will never actually get written, some of these files are more like thought playgrounds than actual WIPs.

From oldest to newest, here we go:

Blonde & Leggy 3: [Subtitle redacted]

Stede’s mouth keeps talking – thankfully, on the subject of Ed he can keep talking for quite a while without having to think about what to say next – but his thoughts are already elsewhere.

This won’t do.

It simply, he decides, won’t do.

[I am afraid this is where the fic's been stuck for months and everything past this is a construction site because eeeeeeh I'm having some problems with flow and figuring out the right order of scenes and events. ]

(Did you expect a love song?)

Seeing Dion and Anton exchange a look, Viago grinned awkwardly in a manner that he hoped conveyed how much of a fucking embarrassment he thought Deacon was (not without affection), just in case there was any doubt.

[I really really want to finish this, I just need to find the voice again and it's not been happening for me...]

What is left for encore

“Power metal, huh. Well… I like the sound of the rest though. Nothing I trust as much as Izzy’s taste.”

“Right?”

[aka the metal band AU I will never realistically actually write/finish. but i've been nostalgia-watching so many of my fave band documentaries and this is the WIP file where I go to vibe, alright?]

Your smile is like a breath of cringe

Glancing around his cabin, he was relieved to see that Izzy had left unnoticed sometime in the past three to thirteen minutes that Ed guesstimated he had been staring out between the drawn curtains.

Time to get ready for battle, he figured, and looked around for his gun and his knife.

Fine. He was fine.

This was fine.

[@thebeautifulsoup and I were both going to write a Jason-Isaacs-as-Stede's-rebound-boyfriend fic, but she was the only one who actually pulled through with this beautiful fic. Mine got kneecapped by seasonal depression and self-doubts, so it's just been... sitting there.]

Bonnet's Playthings: Brothel, Baths and Bed & Breakfast

This was how Stede Bonnet found out that he had been having breakfast with Blackbeard.

[This could have been another silly frenzied 10k in two days, but then I got bogged down in, like, scene 3 and I've not yet made up my mind on how to best fix it.]

The not-technically-a-wip-more-of-a-notes-and-snippets-cluster

"Not really. More like…" Stede releases a shuddering breath. "Like I was wrong. I came out as gay thinking it would set something inside me free, make something inside me finally make sense, but then life went on and I still felt trapped, and I thought maybe I’m not gay at all, maybe I’m just broken."

[I don't think this will ever come to anything, but I might harvest some of those 5 pages of dialogue if ever I need something depressing...]

AND THANK FUCK THAT'S ALL OF THEM, I BELIEVE WITH REASONABLE CERTAINTY.

This was fun! Tagging, if they haven't already done it (I've seen this float about recently) and only if they feel like it: @slow-burn-sally , @thebeautifulsoup , @emmyllou , @pudentilla and @greaseonmymouth :-*

#memes

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barabansetbabets · 1 year

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23 book I want to read in 2023

I've seen a few people do these lists, so here's mine

La Reine Margot – Alexandre Dumas

This one is a little cheating, since it’s on my TBR, but it’s not really a classic that really attracts me, especially with my last experience with a Dumas. (Sorry, when I was 12 I found D’Artagnan so dumb I couldn’t even finish the book, which just didn’t happen at that age)

The Queen’s Thief – Megan Whalen Turner

I heard so much about this serie from Booklr and it’s on Arhive.org, so I’m really excited for this one !

How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House – Cherie Jones

Trying to read books from all over the world, and this title make it very intriguing. Though the summary leads me to think it will be a very though read.

Handicap à vendre – Thibault Petit

A book about disabled’s rights in french worplaces (and the utter shit it is), mostly about Intellectual Disabled I think.

Aya de Yopougon - Marguerite Aboue & Clément Oubrerie

This is a mildly famous Comic Serie in France, and I’ve never read it so I want to finally bridge that gap.

Middlegame - Seanan McGuire

Once again a pretty popular book on booklr, and as I liked Every heart a Doorway I’m very excited for this one !

The Bomb – Alcante, Bollée & Denis Rodier

French Comic about the making of the Atomic Bomb. One again a though read, but it got praised a lot in France.

Les Indes Fourbes - Alain Ayroles & Juanjo Guarnido

Another french comic that got praised a lot. Seems interesting, but since it’s a comedy about the American Conquest, i’m a little wary about representation…. Guess I’ll read and see.

The witcher, Season of Storm – Andrzej Sapkowski

My Witcher period is a little behind me, but it’s the only book i have left to read so it’s worth the shot.

If on a winter’s night a traveler – Italo Calvino

This one get praised a lot for its narration and writing. I wiish I could read it in italian, but french will hae to do.

Quest for Fire - J.H. Rosny Aîné

Fantasy in prehistoric times ? Sign me up. (It’s very old so there’s little chance I will love it, but eh. Sometimes an okay read is all you can ask for.)

Texaco – Patrick Chamoiseau

I liked another novel by the same author, and this one won a big french award back in 1994.

Tè Mawon – Michael Roch

I’ve been meaning to read a Michael Roch’s books for years – and I SWEAR that this year is THE year I finally do ! (Once I get a job)

Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao

This has been recced by everyone and their sisters (my sister at least) so I’ll try to finally read it!

Assassin’s apprentice - Robin Hobb

Never read anything by Robin Hobb. I’m a fake fantasy fan.

The City we became - N.K. Jemisin

Another book loved by a lot of people. I absolutely loved How Long 'til Black Future Month so this is a book i’m sure to love.

In mother’s land - Élisabeth Vonarburg

Once again it’s a book I’ve been meaning to read for years. It’s a SF book, where mens are scarce. and basically describing the new society. Exactly my genre of book!

Postcolonial Love Poem – Natalie Diaz

I want to try to read poetry, and this one seems good.

A doll’s house – Henrik Ibsen

It’s a norwegian play from the 19th century. It was apparently very feminist for its time, so much that it stirred a controversy way beyond the world of theatre so I’m curious to read it.

Therese and Isabelle – Violette Leduc

A lesbian autofiction. Need I say more.

Harrow the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir

I don’t care about my wallet state. I WANT to read this book and the next so much

La Horde du Contrevent – Alain Damasio

A french SF classic. I borrowed this book from my sister about two years ago, so it’s time I read it. Fun fact, this book pages are numbered down instead of up, which probably the most french thing I’ve ever seen. so edgy.

Toward the Terra - Keiko Takemiya

A SF manga drawn by a shojo artist. Looks beautiful and I hope it will be interesting to read!

Here's to hoping I will not be stuck in a reading slump for six months like last year

#books #booklr #long post

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corancoranthemagicalman · 2 years

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Coran! 💜💜💜 for the fanfic writer ask game

Also sorry these arent in order

⏳ 🎶 🛒 👀

Liv!! 💙💙

⏳ : How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

It really depends, genuinely! On one hand, I wrote, edited, and published a 6k fic in two days. On that same hand, I wrote 30k words approx. in like, five days? But that was on a piece that I was just writing for me to get the creative juices flowing so I wasn't worried about word choices as much as getting scenes down. And that was during Christmas break.

But on the other hand, my current WIP which is almost at 30k has taken me all month between trying to find the time to write, editing, and research. Lots and lots of research on this one that isn't even making it into the final piece. Haha!

So I'll say, on average, if I'm free of time, I could easily write probably 10k in two days? Eh?

🎶 : Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes!! All the time!! It's crucial to my process. Like, that same WIP I was telling you about. Lately I haven't been able to listen to my music while writing which is why this last leg of the fic is taking forever to write!

I either have custom playlists for whatever ship I'm writing for, or I have a very generic pining playlist full of my favorites. What's looping definitely depends on what I'm writing, but I guess lately Share Your Address by Ben Platt and Don't You Dare (Make Me Fall In Love With You) by Kaden MacKay have really been critical pieces in my playlists.

🛒 : What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

It depends! I think I definitely overall default to a lot of storm imagery. I.E. Lightning, thunder, clouds over the horizon, etc etc.

But it also is completely dependent on what I'm writing for! For instance, in my WIP at the moment I'm using a surprising amount of dancing metaphors? But I think dancing metaphors are integral to my interpretation of those characters, so I think if I write for this ship more often I will probably come back to them.

That being said, now that I'm thinking about it, I think I'm just drawn to ships where the storm metaphor works.... Gentlebeard... Destiel... Hell, even in my VLD days I did it. Damn. Did I use storms for GOmens writing too?

Also for something other than a theme/imagery, I typically love writing First Kisses even if I never tag them? As such? I love that. But surprisingly I've really stepped outside of that with some of my later Supernatural works and definitely within OFMD. My "Getting Together" OFMD fic they DIDN'T EVEN KISS. THEY DIDN'T EVEN KISS. 2018!Coran would shake in FEAR at the animal I have become.

👀 : Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I've kind of done that already??? Whoops??

Okay, so here's the thing:

I'm supposed to be finishing the third installment of Bang Bang! And it's coming along, I promise!!! But I was having issues with some of the transitional parts. It just wasn't flowing, and I needed a brain break so I could come back with fresh eyes.

So I started the aforementioned and thus far unnamed WIP.

(It's a Bagginshield fic. Whoops. I'm so sorry loyal followers. I am trash.)

And it was just supposed to be a break!! Just a 6k at the max joke-centric fic!! To make me laugh and to post and then to go back to what I actually was trying to work on this month! [The third installment of Bang Bang! plus another WIP I have yet to mention (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)] But then it quickly devolved evolved into... a 30k beast of pining and cultural discussion and guilt and love.

I cannot wait until it's done. So I can be free from it. I've loved writing it but at what cost.

Since it's you my dear Liv. If you want a snippet of the WIP, just send me another eye emoji with a number, and I'll send you a line off the corresponding page number. For reference, there's 64 pages so like go off on number picking. But I don't even know if you like Bagginshield, so I won't subject you to it anymore than I've already subjected you to my rambling, haha!

Thanks for the ask, dear! This was fun!

Emoji FanFic Writer Ask Game !!

#ask c #blue-eyed-cutiepatootie #magical moots

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noveltyreads · 1 year

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A Million To One by Adiba Jaigirdar Book Review

ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

When someone mentioned the words "heist" and "the Titanic" in the same sentence, I just knew I had to read A Million to One.

I was immediately drawn to the premise. Having read this author's debut, The Henna Wars and having enjoying that, I was sure this book would be a delight. You should've seen me when I got the e-galley copy, I was over the moon and excited to start reading.

Unfortunately, this seemed to be a case where the concept didn't match up with the execution.

The book follows four girls, con artist and leader of the group, Josefa, circus performer, Hinnah, actress, Violet and aspiring artist, Emilie who board the Titanic to steal a rare and priceless book, The Rubaiyat from one of the First Class passengers. I was expecting a fast paced novel, high stakes and a slow romantic build up (since I knew there would be a sapphic pairing months before reading). But unfortunately, this book didn't live up to my expectations.

For starters, I had a few issues connecting with the characters. With Josefa, from the very start she annoyed me for some reason, and the way she was trying to get the girls to join her on her heist for the Rubaiyat just irked me. If you're trying to get someone to join you on a dangerous mission, especially when two of the said people joining you, you've never really talked to before, please sell their part in the mission as more than just "we need you, I've seen the work you do, there is nobody else in the world who can do [blank] as well as you can!" I don't know... if I were those girls I think I would've refused straight away. It takes a lot of trust and loyalty to a person to literally put your life on the line for them and for them to do so, and so willingly for someone they could classify as a stranger didn't really make sense to me. Even though the backstories were revealed as to why they were willing to go on this heist, to me, it didn't seem justifiable enough, especially for some of the other characters.

I didn't mind Hinnah and Emilie's characters but I still didn't feel connected to them despite the elaborate backstories about their personal lives. Violet was probably the character I connected to the most and even that is a far stretch. She had a brother she left in Croatia who she was trying to help and support as much as she could and I could see that desperate love in every chapter in which she mentioned Marko. But that being said, there were a few parts to her character that I didn't understand. She seemed to be very prickly towards Emilie for no real reason and it seemed like a petty sort of hatred, kind of like the two girls were pitted against each other for no other reason than dramatic purpose. At one point I thought how cool it would be if Violet and Emilie ended up in a relationship together as an enemies-to-lovers/grumpy-sunshine couple, having to work together against all odds to steal the Rubaiyat. The drama would've made more sense then, but unfortunately no reasoning apart from an annoyance at having an amateur con artist to help execute the heist, was used to justify Violet's unfair treatment towards Emilie.

Being a high stakes book featuring a heist, I would've expected the book to have been quite fast paced and action packed. The book however, followed a rhythm which looked something like 200 pages being on developing the characters and letting the reader in to their backstories and the last 74 pages being fast paced as the plot (and Titanic's unfortunate fate) played out which arguably was the most adrenaline filled part. I wished the high stakes and suspense of whether their plan would succeed or fail was continued throughout the entire book because by the time the book picked up the pacing, I just wasn't interested anymore. Because the start of the book fell so flat, I found I wasn't as emotionally invested in August's pursuit of the girls and the ultimate fate of their heist and their lives. When the ending occurred, while it was sad, I was so disinterested that the emotional aspects of the books didn't pack an emotional punch as much as I would've liked.

Now onto the romance. I felt like it was rushed. The two girls wanted to get to know each other and they already had some feelings developed before the events of the book, but the romance felt incredibly surface level without a desired build up of chemistry or romantic tension which I hungered for. I must admit though, the epilogue was very cute and it actually was the best part by far of the entire book.

The other aspect of note was that I never felt truly transported to the world of 1912 Ireland and the Titanic. The setting was never really prominent not when the girls were still living in their Irish boarding house nor when they were on the Titanic among more wealth than they have ever seen in their lives. Considering these girls came from poverty and from the poorer areas of Ireland, I would've expected more emphasis on the decadence of the Titanic to create this sort of fantasy-like dream of a ship, but that historical allure was barely there at all and I felt the remnants of a missed opportunity here.

All in all, I really wanted to love this book, it was a hotly anticipated novel for me but it unfortunately fell flat a bit with the pacing, romance, characters and setting. I do see a lot of things other readers may like, after all, a book sometimes isn't for everyone. Sadly, that is the case with me and A Million to One.

ACTUAL RATING: 2 STARS

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memohcomics · 1 year

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DOMINION ANNOUNCEMENT!

When I started my socials for my WIP webcomic Dominion last year, my goal was to have the first three chapters ready for release by this time, and to formally launch the series before December.

Spoiler Alert: It's not ready yet.

REWRITES THY NAME IS MEMOH

After I ran the series preview in the Webtoon Call to Action Contest, I noticed I was getting a lot of notes where readers were confused, probably more so than starting in Chapter 3 warranted. After doing some soul searching, for the past two months I've revisited my script and made some major changes - streamlining, adding clarity, actually writing a detailed outline for the entire series to make sure all the story beats were hitting where they should. Darlings have been killed - whole chapters, rewritten.

Finally, I have emerged from the writing cocoon with a story that is (in my mind) far stronger. In the process though, I'm having to nerf 30 panels I had already drawn and colored because the whole start of the series has been revised/rewritten. RIP.

REVISITING FORMAT

I've also had time to think critically about the format for the series. Given that Webtoon is withdrawing support for Canvas creators, I was torn on if scroll format is still the only format I want to design for. After much deliberation, I've decided I will draw page format first, then retrofit each episode for scroll reading. This will save me time later should I choose to do print releases, and it makes me able to cross post the series to more sites.

TO LIGHT NOVEL OR NOT TO LIGHT NOVEL

Since I have the whole series spec'd out at this point, I am also deliberating on releasing a light novel version. The tentative plan for this would be to release a novelization of the first half of season one as the comic launches, release the second half novelization after the midseason finale, and so on.

It would be behind a pay gate, but it would be a way for people to have a fast pass without sacrificing my health/sanity, while making sure they aren't so far ahead of the comic readers that the other followers get too many spoilers.

UPDATE SCHEDULE CONFIRMED

Since I have a full scope of the series now, I've also been able to decide on a schedule that I can keep up with (I do have to balance a full time job and have no assistants).

Each chapter will be ~15 pages (~60 panels) and will be released monthly. For the series launch, I will release the first three chapters at once.

SO WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Now that rewrites are concluded, I'm now full steam ahead with getting pages produced. I will also be writing a draft of the light novel over the holidays and will have more clarity on if that project will proceed in the new year. I'm also trying to get my social media strategy lined up in advance, with the bulk of that work taking place over the holiday period.

Given that the first three chapters will take about 3 months on their own, (plus the extra set up chores), Dominion is likely looking at a April/May release. Which is fall in the southern hemisphere. So that counts as still making deadline, right? (< _<;)

In any case, I'll be posting some fan service Desmond on my Patreon to tide patrons over while I work diligently in the background. Patrons also get access to heaps of high res Dominion illustrations, so if you're keen on what you've seen so far go sign up!

#dominion #myart #wip #progress update

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tea-earl-grey · 3 months

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For the writer’s ask game: 🖍 and 🤔

from this ask game

🖍: Post any sentence from your wip.

I have a few wips rn but the one I'm actually hoping to finish and post soon-ish is a post s1 Picard fic from Seven and Raffi's pov. a large part of it is shippy but there's a lot of other stuff too including this scene where Seven goes back to the Artifact to find Hugh's body and bury him. (yeah I know this says sentence but uh... here's a full page instead.)

When she looked down at Hugh’s body, face grey and body stiff (like he’s returning to the drone they all are underneath), Seven saw someone who deserved to live.

They were never close friends. They might not had even been friends. Hugh found Seven a few months after Voyager returned and explained that he was an ex-Borg as well, that his unimatrix was split off from the Collective after he encountered a Starfleet vessel and after conflict and infighting, he and thirty others had made it to the Federation. He said that ten more had died in surgery and Seven noticed that Hugh’s scars looked fresher than her’s.

Apparently, as Hugh relayed, he nearly wept after finding out there was another ‘liberated Borg’ (as he said back then, long before the word xB crossed anyone’s lips) on a famous Starfleet ship. And, “Who knows how many more are out there? How many more need our help?” He sounded so hopeful and Seven remembered brusquely asking him to leave. Other former Borg weren’t her concern, she already had Icheb after all, and the last thing Seven wanted were more people pointing out the fact she wasn’t human.

Two years later she left Earth after realizing that no matter what she did and how she acted, no one would think of her as human anyways.

And six years after that, Seven watched Icheb be dissected on a lab table and she started to see Hugh’s point. Maybe sentimentality does have tactical value.

And that same year, before Seven could offer any overtures of an apology, Hugh launched the Borg Reclamation Project. And the Romulans sold Borg parts to the same cruel underground that killed her son, creating more demand that she knew wouldn’t be satisfied with words like ‘ethically obtained’. Seven noticed idealism often clouded people’s vision to what was right in front of them.

They still crossed paths on occasion, mostly when Seven met an xB who needed help or on the occasion when Hugh needed a favor. There were a few subspace messages – Seven asking if Hugh knew a safe doctor to see after she dislocated her arm beyond her own ability to repair. Or another time when Hugh needed a favor on one of the worlds the Rangers patrolled.

The point was – Hugh had long since figured out that Seven didn’t care for his project or his idealism and would happily forget that she was an ex-Borg, xB, whatever the hell you want to call people like them, if anyone would let her.

The point was – Hugh was better than her. He cared more. He wanted a community, a culture, in some broken old Cube. And look where it had gotten him.

Seven picked up his body from the floor. “Are you coming?” she asked the two xBs in front of her.

When neither of them answered, she walked away with Hugh in her arms. These people weren’t her concern.

They were lost, leaderless, broken. They were what Seven could have been so easily if a Starfleet Captain didn’t look at a Borg drone and give her dreams of humanity.

She looked back for just a second.

But Seven lacked Hugh’s earnest hope of a better future and certainly didn’t have Janeway’s hero complex. They deserved someone better than her.

🤔: What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

(glances at the notes app on my phone and laughs nervously)

out of the seven years of prompts/ideas I've gathered, I'm probably most likely to write the Star Trek ones at some point and the best ones are:

years after ds9, Jake goes through the death of a loved one and finds himself drawn back to Bajoran religion for the first time in a long while and

something about Voyager and the "died and came back wrong" trope as they come back to Earth and their family members start noticing that they aren't the same people and the grief that accompanies that realization (I did write a small scene of this from Janeway's sister's pov but I need to scrap the whole thing and start over)

i have about 3 fic ideas that are all just character studies of Seven through the lens of disability

a j7 fic where Picard era Seven and Voyager era Seven switch places

a post-ds9 fic where Worf and Ezri realize that since Klingon law doesn't differentiated between Trill hosts, they're still legally married and have to figure out how to get a divorce/annulment (more of a comedy with some moments about grief)

a Voyager/Gallifrey crossover (aka Janeway and Gallifrey era Romana are very similar and they Would Not Get Along)

#asks #thanks for sending this i now have inspiration to write!#unfortunately i also have other things to do today that involve not thinking about Star Trek. smh.#also if anyone is interested in betaing the s1 Picard fic i'm writing feel free to dm me.#i should *hopefully* have a draft done in a week or so #(i've never actually had a beta before but i am far less confident writing these characters than other fics i've done)#long post #my posts

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squad3-sevcase · 2 years

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I Know Your Heart (1) Pilot | Chicago Fire Fanfic

Summary: Becker Casey and the firefighters of Chicago’s Firehouse 51 deal with dangers of the job, personal relationships, and everyday life in and out of uniform. In the wake of Andrew Darden’s death, loyalties are tested; as tensions rise between Becker, her brother, and the rest of 51, she isn’t sure where the line is drawn.

Warnings: general Chicago Fire warnings apply. Read at your own discretion.

A/N: Repost of part one for my Chicago Fire fanfiction. It will be using some storylines from the show. Edited 14th November 2022.

Taglist: @campingmonkey @fullwattpadmusictree @marvelatthetwilight @deardelicatedamage

Being home was a breath of fresh air for Becker.

It had been a rough month following her return to work after an abrupt Leave of Absence, and upon learning of fellow firefighter and friend, Andy Darden's tragic death. Tensions, she noticed, were at an all-time high between her superior and best friend Kelly Severide ― Rescue Squad leader ― and her brother, Matt Casey. Becker hadn't been permitted to be on duty the day of Andy's death, but the grim faces of her colleagues when she asked after her friend's whereabouts upon the Company's return, told her all she needed to know and more. Kelly tearfully pulled his firefighter aside and informed her of Darden's fate; everything changed after that.

Becker took his death the hardest behind his wife, Heather, and Kelly. The Squad lieutenant and Darden had been best friends since kindergarten, his loss would stick with Kelly for a long time. Becker understands; Andy became a close friend and confidante after she was assigned to 51 upon graduating from the Academy. He showed her the ropes and treated her like another one of the guys while respecting that she was a woman in a male-dominated field, which she appreciated. She realized much later how greatly she missed him when she and Kelly found themselves reminiscing, recounting their favourite memories and sharing stories the other had yet to hear.

She sat at the long wooden table Squad often claimed for their own in the apparatus bay, idly sipping a mug of coffee that had since gone cold. Kelly sat quietly to her right. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, trying her best to relieve the pent-up pressure swimming deep in her gut. Waves of long, honey-blonde hair cascaded over her right shoulder, lazily framing the soft features of her heart-shaped face.

She hummed pensively and turned a page in her book, leaning back in her chair. Concentration evaded her efforts, the words all ran together a half hour ago, blurring before cerulean blue eyes, yet she refused to put it down. She felt antsy; a probationary period of one week was set to assess her mental and emotional status, Kelly's only condition for her official return. Reluctantly, Becker agreed.

“What's on your mind, Mini Casey?” Kelly looked up from his own book when Becker sighed heavily for the fifth time in two minutes.

“The usual, Severide.” And they left it at that.

“Hey, MC, you seen your brother around?” A burly voice called across the bay, and Becker groaned inwardly.

She was used to people thinking she always knew where Lieutenant Casey was or what he got up to. She spent most of her free time split between the two lieutenants. Lately, though, her brother's indifference made it difficult to be around him. Everyone did their best to steer clear. She supposed the same may be said of Kelly Severide, but at least he remained the same with her.

“Nope, sorry.” She turned her attention to Otis handing off his tour for a group of elementary kids to their newest candidate ― Peter Mills, the young man Joe Cruz showed around the station earlier.

“Who wants to try on a helmet?” Becker snorted back a laugh; the kids already sported their own plastic fire-red Station 51 helmets.

To Kelly she said, “Fifty bucks says Mills doesn't last the week without royally embarrassing himself.”

“Fifty?” he confirmed.

“Mmhm.”

“He looks all right, I give him two. Easiest money I've ever made,” he said with a grin, pulling a $50 bill from his wallet. Taking the $50 Becker laid on the table, he tucked it into the back of his book with his, he lost count of how many times they'd done that.

“So this is called a PASS alarm. Now, if a firefighter is totally still for more than 18 seconds, a loud alarm goes off until he moves again,” Mills informed the group. He donned his turnout gear and was demonstrating the various pieces of protective equipment.

“Why?” one of the boys asked.

“Well, if he's hurt or trapped, we'll know where to find him.” He triggered the alarm, and Becker smiled at the children's reactions. Then, he quickly shook the device until it shut off again. “That's loud.” He smiled. “See, this house is special because it has a Rescue Squad. Squad Three serves a big piece of the city. They're experts at water rescue, extraction, pretty much everything.”

Becker nudged Kelly with her shoulder, she saw his failed attempt to hide his smirk at being talked up to the group of eight-year-olds. They had a lot to be proud of, but their egos didn't need more inflating.

“Why aren't you with them?”

“Well, I mean, I plan to be. My father was a member of the Squad years ago.”

Becker was too engrossed in the candidate's explanation to notice when her brother joined the demonstration until his voice sounded from inside the doorway, “Mills, right?” Matt said, interrupting the tour. He gestured toward the table. “Last to show, first to go. That's the Rescue Squad.”

“You Truck guys do such a good job getting everything ready for us, why would we want to take that from you?” Kelly fired back, looking over his shoulder at his fellow lieutenant.

Becker blew a long puff of air out through pursed lips. “Here we go.”

Matt chuckled. “Kids, you should know they make the Rescue helmets extra big to fit their heads inside them.” His eyes briefly met Becker's. “No offence to my sister, of course.”

“Oh, of course,” she sneered.

“There are two types of firefighters,” Kelly continued flatly, “those who are on Squad, and those who wish they were on Squad.”

“Ooh,” mocked Matt.

“Bet I get an application from him by the end of the month,” Kelly challenged as the kids followed Mills for the rest of the tour.

Matt turned to leave. “He wants you, you can have him.”

Becker punched Kelly's shoulder, and he laughed.

“What? What'd I do?”

“This is why Cruz calls us Rescue Squad a-holes.”

As an alarm sounded off, the dispatcher's voice called out over the PA system: Pin-in accident. Columbus Drive bridge. Ambulance 61, Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Battalion 25.

Becker was grateful for the change in atmosphere. She crossed the bay in no time, leaving behind the tension between her brother and best friend, quickly slipping into her turnout gear, and climbing aboard 3. Dealing with the fallout between Lieutenants Casey and Severide would just have to wait.

On the ride over, she thought of all the ways her brother had changed. He stopped being her brother and became more of a bully, something she certainly wasn't used to. Everyone processed grief in their own way, she understood that much, but it felt different. She knew Matt blamed Kelly for Andy Darden's accident and blamed him for the death of a friend. But that explained little of his attitude toward her. What had she done to incur her brother's wrath?

“MC, what are we looking at?” the Squad lieutenant asked as they pulled up to the scene of the accident, startling Becker from her thoughts. This they had done a million times before; Becker's ability to quickly take everything in and assess the situation was the reason he begged her to transfer over to Squad. He recognized her as a valuable asset he couldn't afford to lose, and Becker guessed he enjoyed having her on his team even more as a way to stick it to her brother.

Becker and Kelly were off the rig before it came to a complete stop.

“Driver's door on the second vehicle is wedged shut, the rest probably are as well. Seatbelts will likely be jammed. We'll need the Jaws.” She sniffed the air. “Definite fuel leak. We need to get them out of there.”

Their strides were in perfect sync as they rounded the rig to the red car butted up against the rail. Becker surveyed the damage, she could tell as Matt got his hands on the vehicle that extracting the driver from the car would be an ordeal ― the door wouldn't budge, too smashed in from the wreckage. When Matt tried the handle to get the door open, it only confirmed what she told Kelly.

“Ma'am? Can you hear me?” Try as she might, Becker couldn't recall the last time she heard Matt speak with such a calm yet urgent gentleness to his voice. She remembered how good he was at his job, and how much she loved that he was her older brother.

The woman looked up at him, frightened. “My daughter― Madeline? Madeline! My little girl.”

Becker walked around the back of the car to the passenger side. “Get the Jaws!” she called to Kelly, and he gave a curt nod of understanding. She peered in the back passenger window where the little girl sat trapped inside the car. She smiled softly to help ease her fear. “Hey, Madeline. My name's Becker, we're gonna get you out of there.”

She moved out of the way as Gabriela Dawson arrives to take care of Madeline. The smell of fuel was heavy and choking, she heard someone confirm the leak and her heart plummetted in her chest. It wasn't the worst wreckage they'd ever been to, but she knew it was probably the scariest situation for a little girl to be in.

“Casey! Can you assess what we're looking at with the other vehicle?” Matt shouted over the chaos.

With one glance at the damage done, Becker knew the driver of the SUV was thrown from the car. She rushed to the railing and peered over the side. “Mouch! He's in the river!”

“Are you positive?” he questioned, not for lack of belief in Becker but for confirmation.

“Positive.” She pointed to the front of the vehicle. The windscreen was busted through from the inside, and the driver's seat was left vacant.

Mouch rounded the car and peered inside. His face paled. “Oh sh― Casey's right, he's in the water!”

“Who?” Chief Boden called back.

“The driver, he was ejected.”

The chief pointed to the rest of Rescue Squad 3. It was up to them to retrieve the victim from the icy depths of the river, hopefully in time to receive proper treatment. “We think we got one in the river. Go.”

“Severide!” There was an ache growing in Becker's bones that words failed to describe. She desperately wanted to jump in the water and search for the second driver but she understood it went against protocol. She was still on probation and has to follow Kelly's orders. She would do as told and put her skills elsewhere and pray to whoever was out there listening that Kelly and their men found him in time.

She scanned the river's surface, hoping for a glimpse of something that would signal to them where the driver went down, but it was no use. For all that Becker could do, the rest was up to the divers.

Kelly appeared at her side, geared up and ready to go. “Don't worry, I'm gonna find him.” He turned to the rest of his men. “All right, Husting and me are going. Capp and Hadley on RIT and run the line. Casey, on RIT.”

“Copy that.”

Becker's heartbeat thundered in her ears as Kelly climbed over the railing and began the descent to the water's icy depths. If anything happened to him and Husting, Capp and Hadley would go in first, and if anything happened to them, it was up to Becker to gather the others and proceed forward to find them. Kelly trusted her with his life, likewise, she trusted him. On duty, their friendship took a backseat to being partners on the Rescue Squad; Becker put her faith in Kelly's judgment as the leader of their team, the same way he put his faith in her as one of his firefighters. It was a give-and-take.

Frantically searching what she could see of the chilling darkness before her while Capp and Hadley lowered their men down to the water, it always felt like they weee operating on borrowed time. Never having enough of it until―

“Cancel the dive. No one is in the water,” the chief informed over the radio.

“You did great out there today. I'm proud of you.”

Becker wanted to smile, she wanted to say “thank you” and acknowledge that she rocked her first day back, but she couldn't. Truthfully, she needed to hear those words from her brother. While hearing them from the Squad leader meant more than she could express, she needed to know that Matt still had the same faith in her abilities now that he did when she joined the Academy seven years ago. She needed to know he still believed in her. His treatment of Squad over the last month ― and Becker simply because she was part of it, too ― isolated her from him in ways she never was before.

“Thanks, Severide.” She hopper off the rig behind Kelly as her brother moved away from Otis.

“You're staying on elevators, which makes you Otis. Sorry.”

“Hey. Guy in the water? How about a guy with his head up his ass?” Kelly called; a challenge.

“You handle your firefighters, I'll handle mine.”

“That's a good theory, Casey. How about giving it a try?”

Matt closed the gap between them in three full strides and stopped directly in front of Kelly. “Know what? I'm gettin' real tired of your bull, Severide.”

“I don't give a damn what you're tired of.”

Becker had had enough. She stood to the side watching the two men she loved most in the world square off with each other and she'd had enough. She didn't signup for that. She didn't sign up to feel like her world was falling out from under her feet with nowhere to land and no one to catch her. She twisted around to face her brother, and anger flashed in her dark stormy irises.

“Why are you being such a dick?”

“Excuse me?” Matt turned a surprised glare on his sister. She never spoke to him that way, especially not in front of the guys. “You want to try that again, MC?”

“Why are you being such a dick, Lieutenant? You've been walking around here barking orders for a month like you own the place, but turn around the next minute and it's like you'd give anything to be miles away from Squad. You pick fights with anyone who dares to cross your path. You're not the only one who lost someone that day. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass long enough to greet the sun, you would see that.”

“Easy, MC,” a warning.

Matt laughed dryly, taking slow deliberate steps toward his sister.

Becker refused to back down. “Who gave you the right to be judge, jury, and executioner, huh? I know you're angry, Casey, and you may be my superior. But I am still your sister. I don't deserve to be treated like shit just because you need someone to blame for Darden's death. Neither does Severide, and neither does Brian. That's right, Brian. Yeah, I know his name. I have from day one. What's your excuse?”

“Right. This what you call ‘handling your firefighters’, Severide?”

Kelly gently pushed Becker behind him. “She's just saying what we're all thinking, man.”

“Hey.” Their argument was interrupted by Chief Boden throwing a few hard punches at the bag hanging near the refrigerator. “I thought you all should know, I am gonna fight that dick, Olmstead, who slept with my wife in Saturday's Drop-A-Cop.” He threw a few more. “Or we could all just throw the gloves on right now, beat the hell out of each other. Maybe when the Mayor comes in Saturday that's what he sees. Truck versus Squad ― old as the CFD, so deal with it. We all lost Darden a month ago Friday. And that ain't changing. So maybe we should.”

Becker tried to swallow past the lump forming in her throat. She stepped around Kelly and moved past her brother, intentionally bumping into his shoulder as she headed into the station. On her way in, she heard the chief call out, “Casey, make it right,” and realized he was talking to the Truck lieutenant. She continued until she reached the locker room.

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