#it's a fun drawing and I am enjoying working on it and I like how it looks

[ichiiixs]

Just for Me.

Hi guys! I would like to provide a little short story along with my artwork! Since English is not my FIRST language and I know I am not a grammar expert… So expect it to be imperfect please! and also some grammatical errors too! but I hope you will enjoy this short writing. (｡･ω･｡)

Honestly, I had a lot of fun writing the story hehe (๑>◡<๑)

————————————————————————————————————.

You and Alastor have been dating for a while now.

Alastor is the most wonderful guy you have ever met. He is polite, has a sense of humour, and is very passionate about his work, which makes him even more attractive. His bright smile is the best thing. That charming smile is always heartwarming and appealing. He surely knows how much you adore that smile, since he keeps teasing you with it whenever he can.

 

Although Alastor is such a charming gentleman with a smiling face, you have to admit that there were some moments when he just seemed a little strange? Like the time when you look at him in the eyes, you really cannot tell what he was thinking. All you saw was your reflection and nothing else. Not even a single emotion of his. It was just the deep brown eyes with the reflection of your face looking for something in them. It was full of you, yet it was so empty of him. You get uncomfortable just thinking about it. Those strange feelings in those eyes seemed to tell you that he knew everything about you. No matter what you do or where you go, he just so happens to show up out of the blue. Especially when you are facing a problem, he always shows up. Was he perhaps just trying to find you? Or maybe he has been watching you all along?

 

Like today, when some guy at your workplace was trying to harass you, Alastor suddenly shows up and protects you before that person even gets a chance to touch you. He appeared and kicked the guy away. Alastor then told you that the guy had no right to talk to you in the first place and that he should not even dare touch you. 

 

He had been watching you since the beginning?

 

You ignored those thoughts since you enjoy having him around and believed it was just a coincidence… right? It should not be that complicated.

 

However, it is unusual that you've been waiting for Alastor for at least an hour now. Waiting for your lover to come pick you up for the dinner he promised to take you to. It is raining a lot outside, and you begin to worry that he might just cancel the dinner. But Alastor is not that kind of person. Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door, and you rush to open it to see the man you've been waiting for. The smile that lights up your face every time even makes your heart skip a beat. And, my goodness, those eyes of his are there just for you.

Only you.

————————————————————————————————————————.

Hello again! So I will start drawing from each request now! However, it will probably take a while to complete because I have some university work coming up T_T and I will also be getting ready to work on the HH&HB goods & other stuff! Since I will be attend to several conventions, I will certainly be busy (@_@) but if you live in Vancouver, you are welcome to buy my items in the future ( ˘ω˘ )

#alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin art #hazbin hotel art #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor the radio demon #yandere alastor #human alastor #human!alastor

[horsemeatluvr23]

zedaph!!! coloured pencil n fineliner :D ngl i rly struggled w getting a photo of this one .. i ended up scanning it but i think it washed out a lot of the pencil detail n ended up looking like i deep fried it lmao. u will all just have to trust me when i say this looks better irl

#i rly enjoyed the process of this drawing but i don't love the final version... but i had fun so who cares!! #i rly wanna get better at doing coloured pencil stuff i find it so hard for some reason .. i think the colour theory side of it trips me up #trying to learn media that relies on your knowledge of colour theory is a Struggle as a colourblind artist lmaooo #anyways i love zedaph's videos so much he is utterly insane and i am obsessed. watching him break the boundaries of the game is so fun #his videos r just so enjoyable he is so easy to watch n he comes up with the most deranged ideas yet somehow always makes it work #i love how he gameifies everything it just adds another layer of challenge (and therefore satisfaction) to the game #his mind is truly. so unique... that sounds like an insult but i swear it isn't #i want to study him in a lab #he would probably study me back #horsemeat gallery #zedaph #zedaph fanart #zedaphplays #hermitcraft #horsemeatluvr does hermitaday #hermitaday

[batfossil-fr]

I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art

#my mental health is starting to improve a bit #took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me #ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while #like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit #so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected #diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier #i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome #just learning how to enjoy things again overall #one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post #and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on #even when I wasn’t actively practicing #just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles #i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors #i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao #i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again #for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments #i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all #that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully #starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing #so who knooowwwsss #rambles #funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL #i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first #anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳 #obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it? #idk idk idk is this stupid.... #hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things. #just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!! #i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander #if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!! #also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30 #also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;; #like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH #again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess! #want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG #also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying! #also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars! #delete later #probably #wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b

[skitskatdacat63]

And here is the bull himself >:)

+ lore notes

I was like, ah I should make the shadow something interesting, and then I'm like GIVE HIM BULL HORNS???? OKAY SURE !!!!! I'm glad such thoughts can strike at 7 in the morning....thanks brain. But hehehe I'm glad bcs now this matches up super well with the Nando one!

New ship dynamic: who's the bull and who's the matador :)

I think, in this AU, Fernando is generally pretty fond of Seb when he first meets him. Like "ah yes my very own protégé, very nice, I shall mold him in my image." But then Seb starts veering off that course. Bullfighting is all about being dramatic, but Seb maybe has a bit too much(🤏) flair for the dramatic. This escalation starts while he's still Fernando's assistant but he keeps it generally at bay. But god when he becomes a matador himself, he's just off the rails insane.

Bullfighting, to me, is a sport about reckless endangerment of one's self in the pursuit of drama and performance(its literally described as a tragedy in three acts.) But Fernando thinks Seb endangers himself *too* much, not because he cares or anything, but he's making a mockery of the sport!! Especially when Seb starts doing that bull hand symbol(seen above), Fernando just keeps become more enraged with him, not anything to do with the fact that Seb is threatening his records and threatening his own wellbeing, nah of course not.

Seb's gesture is making a mockery of the sport, he's disrespecting the culture, the very nature of it, blah blah blah. Jenson once asks Fernando, after noticing him seething while watching Seb do his gesture, "Which bull are you really trying to defeat?" One could also describe Fernando and Seb's relationship as a "tragedy with three acts."

Anyways Fernando gets very tied up with this rivalry. Even after suffering a severe injury(I have yet to decide, but y'know mchonda electrocution core), he quickly returns to the sport, loath to let Seb get any more headway. And then Seb gets injured, poor little sweet Seb, and neither of them can handle it. Though I already covered this in my prev lore post 🤭 and I think I put it pretty viscerally there so!! I digress.

They're both matadors, but the bull itself is not the only bull Fernando wants to conquer. Conquer as in death? Hm.

#i love matador au all my homies love matador au #<- its a lot of fun for me to draw and easy to have ref for :) so its like my little comfort drawings #even tho i want to sob every time i write any of the lore down bcs it is so </3 #ah i just like how visceral it is ig #f1 is a dangerous sport but bullfighting is just. such another level of maniacs 😭 #ive talked abt this a lot w cofi lmao its just super interesting to me. just the whole mentality and display and culture of it #also just: trajes de luces go brrrrrrr #ah one day ill draw both of them in green suits 🤭🤭 #i had a chibi art of this au i was working on bcs i didnt have mental energy for a full thing #or at least i THOUGHT so #ive had the refs for this since 2 wks and im like YOU WILL FINISH THIS bcs i rly liked the pose 😭 #so then i just drew for like 5 hours straight. yknow as one does #and wrote this post at uh. 8 am. normal time for one to be drawing and writing. as one does. #WELL ANYWAYS PLEASE ENJOY MATADOR SEB #this au grips me the throat 😭 i rly enjoy it 😭 #i have a lot of thoughts ab the au lore itself but also drawing these is very no thoughts head empty <3 #also god side note. pink stockinks. i hated the idea of them at first. but now im like hehe hot pink time 🥰🥰 #its crazy how it doesnt clash that much??? i thought it would ruin the outfit but ah they suit everything p well #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #catie.art. #matador au

[b4kuch1n]

I lied I think it’s fun to draw animals sometimes

#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #team sonic #hey. still dont expect more sonic stuff okay. this is an exception #(I say as I immensely enjoy scribbling these animals) #man. Im mad how good these designs are tbh theyre so (clenches fists) theyre so! scribbleable! #hate that! dont like that dont like how much fun it is to draw them! #also I made amy spiky bc I want to and I can. and also shes a hedgehog #gods. thinking abt it sonic designs cater to me to such a disgusting level... the cartoon gloves... the big shapes.... the varied footwears #it's like psychonauts raz was so fuckign fun to draw. but here it's the whole cast #it's fucked up! it's entrapment!! I didn't consent to this!!! #next time they give any of the characters a big coat I'm sending sega a strongly worded letter. they cant do that to me #well. here it is anyway. genuinely these all took like an hour each I drew them as breaks inbetween work #(an hour for me is equivalent to other artists' fifteen minutes btw. I'm not fast at all I just don't know when to stop) #well. that done. back to work now #I am actually so excited abt the current one lol its just also gonna be a pain in the ass to coordinate #but I really wanna do well with it. go crazy go stupid baku!! #have a good night! a good pair of boots is worth the money but only if you can tie the strings together & wear it on ur neck in emergencies

[mt-beast]

@bellusamauwu ‘s  work of the lightening lady and mobster boss made me want to draw them too. What a duo-- 

#the moonshine mob #moonshine mob #mobster spider #light bug #lightening bug #cuphead #cuphead DLC #I been following and seeing a lot of the ship stuff bell posts #and it ended up making me enjoy these two as a couple #I dont know if they have a ship name or nothing #very fun designs to draw #is funny as I joke all the time how I am either the spider or snail is like a inside joke with me and my friends #mafia jokes HA #me baciagaloop #WHWUAHAHAAH #ALSO IF YOURE READING THIS BELL VERY NICE ART YOU HAVE #I like your work KEEP IT UP #capisce? #never stop what you do #myart

[cj-kenobi]

☀️🌻you are my sunshine🌻☀️

#the background on this drove me insane #but im so so happy with it #this is also the most fun ive had with colours in a while #but i also really like the colours on this #im very excited to share it #it was kinda meant to be a valentines day post even though its not romantic but i obviously missed that #turns out i am the absolute worst at predicting how long it takes me to draw things #colour them especially #anyways here u go enjoy my many many many hand drawn sunflowers because i dont understand the concept of the copy paste function apparently #nor do i understand the fill button idk how it works on my progam at all and i wont learn #star wars #commander cody #marshal commander cody #cc 2224 #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars art #star wars fanart #fanart #artists on tumblr #the clone wars art #clones #clone art #star the clone wars wars #character art

[lawlietscaramels]

I get really chatty at this time for some reason. it's like the very end of the day for me and very few people are active

#uhh so ill chat in the tags so i dont spam #I LOVE MY MUTUALS SO FREAKING MUCH. you guys. you guys are awesome. #yeah i don't know how to interact properly but. love you all nevertheless #just screaming it in my tags #also i played the start of my first dnd campaign today. i am SO attached to my character. #if they die I'll kill everyone in tbis room then myself/ref /j #also obey me is fun and silly and i enjoy the story to some degree but ohh my gooood it is such a pay to win game #also ive only got like five more drawings to download!! #oh i shared the context for tnat on insta. im manually backing up all my art in case ibis' backup goes wrong when i turn it back on #im also working on comms and personal art #and i want to do a sketch page with rie and L and maybe aemin (my dnd character) and maybe my moots ocs hehe #also the wallpapers i promised may not end up being wallpapers (i so underestimated how hard they are for me to draw) but fanart IS coming #thats it i think #lei chats

[sysig]

Size difference.png (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Crackship #Teisel #Meme #I am on a roll with these lol #I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time #I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw #Anyway (lol) #ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise! #Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0 #Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe #And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!! #As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol #It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet #Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol #One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected! #It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick #Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0 #So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX! #At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs! #Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol #They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol #And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft #It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at #The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha #He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft #I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪

[imwritesometimes]

ngl getting comments on fic is like hmmm maybe I should give this whole writing thing a try again....

#look I know I know I know 'comment on fic!!!' is a sentiment repeated often and enthusiastically but like #I don't think ppl who *don't* write really get how exhausting the writing process can be #like yes it's fun it's my hobby I love it #but like any hobby it can be an actual lot of work #kinda like any hobby. even plahing an instrument or drawing even just for fun takes *work* esp if you want to be any *good* #writing takes work. lots of time and effort. and the editing. my god. #if you want more fic to read you need to express even basic gratitude to the ppl writing it #I've gotten a few comments over the last few days and it's like aw... man.... I *do* really miss this #I still don't know if I've got any more fics in me. I am still struggling with feeling like I don't know how to do this anymore #or that I have already told the same story 45 times so why tell it again #but.... #knowing ppl *have* enjoyed what I was able to write before? that's fckn incredible #erin explains it all

[keeps-ache]

well! that project's out of my brain now :) now what

#just me hi #“now what” i have tide in there now and i am not going to post much about them lmao #or maybe i will i dunno! but some things stay the most fun when they're secrets ehe :3 #//a lot of weather has been happening recently huh #lot more than i'm used to anyway lol - and why's it gotta be so humid out here like C'mon hghf #the air. is Thick. and Wet. like a toad #//Oh but i've been having so much fun drawing recently lol :D #it started getting flat and really boring for some reason to where it felt like i was doing it like a chore - just a motion to keep the #gears running ykno? but yeah i've been enjoying it a lot more these past so many days :D ! #i didn't even really notice it until i realized i had zoned in on a comic i was drawing and hadn't considered working on anything else hfsh #//also i've been playing with that music box app/website again - i should prolly use a real music program but none of them are like this #thing ykno? cuz i just tip tap and Boom the sound i need is Right There !! :> #i tried soundtrap i really did but man it's a lot hhhghf #i don't like how it's set up unfortunately. oh well! #i need like minimal clutter or i Die. Gruesomely hbfsh - just what i need and nothing less nothing more. it's a balance #/despite that i am Really Bad at passively organizing things lol - and when i try i just misplace things like crazy. scavenger hunts are a #guarantee lol :) #//i'm still struggling spell guarantee btw but oo am i getting close !! hfshbh #it's the second A it always trips me up #that does not sound like an A. i believe that's identity fraud my friend [<- aggressive squinting] #//anyway sun's out i'm inside and i'm going to listen to music forever #/do you think there are electric guitars in the heavenly choir? hm! #//anyway back to my wanderings!! toodles toodles :D

[thethingything]

something I didn't anticipate with the Big Drawing™ is how much we're starting to struggle to figure out what to actually include in it.

we've spent something like 22 hours on it so far (there's 4 hours we missed and need to catch up with) and we're less than a quarter of the way through the year and I think one of the biggest challenges is going to be just coming up with things to keep adding to it

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #big drawing 2024 #new year's resolutions 2024 #posts made on pain meds #it's a fun drawing and I am enjoying working on it and I like how it looks #but I am also realising we're struggling to come up with stuff to add to it #while having ideas for other drawings that we end up not working on because we're like ''I need to work on the Big Drawing first though'' #and then we end up not having the energy to draw other stuff on top of that because our energy levels have been fucked lately #so I have complicated feelings because I really want to stick with this and see how it turns out #but I also don't want to end up getting burnt out or getting to a point where I'm like ''oh god I need to work on this don't I?'' #and I don't want to end up not making any of the other stuff we want to make #I guess we'll see what we end up doing but I am impressed with how well we've kept up with it so far #and I do think it's coming along really well

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Naruto shippuden things that made me lose my mind (ep 321-346):

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 MADARA 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Taunade: We've been had! Mask man is not the real madara! (Would knowing who he was change literally anything? If u ignored him u wouldn't be prepared when he attacked with his giant gooey army?)

The 5 kage: we've got this naruto! We old ppl wanna change the world too (feels weird when gaara is a victim of all the bullshit ur trying to change and he's also a kage?)

Oh god. Fucking bubble boy is back.

Watching a flashback from the perspective of a sword... okay.

Naruto @ 4th mizukage: u died so young, u never knew the kiss of a woman 😭 Kurama: ...naruto, you've only kissed sasuke

Jugo: why r u following sasuke, Suigetsu? (Carnal desire, dont ask stupid questions)

Hhhh I don't wanna look at sasuke's loser gang, I think they're boring!

Madara fucking shit up: 🙂

🖤🖤🖤🖤 Hashirama face titty 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Itachi @ sasuke, on his way to do other shit: there's no point in talking anymore (itachi, I get it. And i kno u make up for it but I will fucking strangle u)

Madara @ tsunade: u have hashirama's blood in u so ill kill u 1st. Ur nothing compared to him. That man was a freak of nature. I fought him in a death match once 🥰

Other leaf nin: *threaten to withhold funds and steal from and rough up an orphanage* Orochimaru: watch out, someone might steal your precious children 👀

Kabuto: I will take orochimaru and I will put him inside myself. That is my final form (god... kabuto makes me so sad)

Sasuke: itachi u were perfect! (SASUKE NO!!! R U FUCKING INSANE??? ITACHI WAS SO FUCKED UP HE DECIDED HE WAS JUSTIFIED IN KILLING HIS ENTIRE FAMILY AND GIVING HIS BROTHER SUPER TRAUMA. THEN HE DIED AND HIS PLAN EXPLODED IN HIS FACE POST MORTEM)

Sasuke: itachi, the more time I spend with u, the more I understand u and the more I hate konoha (SASUKE YES!!! Your brother is somehow still fucking brainwashed)

Orochimaru upon revival: my one and only interest is sasuke's young body (😰)

Naruto: WTF HAPPENED TO THE 5 KAGE?! Madara: eh idk they're probably not doing too good *cut to a bunch of bodies*

Obito: I hate u!!! Zetsu: 🤨👎

"I'm in hell" is a dark episode but the title makes me laugh everytime I see it

Obito's hashirama arm is real yucky. I love it.

Madara: I will take this tiny piece of hashirama and shove it into my chest. As any normal person would.

While no one was looking... madara implanted his own eyes into nagato's head...

#ill b honest. everytime madara talks abt his plan ive gotta rewind like 4 times to try to understand wtf hes talking abt #i really enjoyed learning abt kabuto tho and more abt itachi #and i like obito more now. i thought he was boring and i still kinda do but i do enjoy the way he got his brain shattered #am ready to hear abt the aliens #and learn wtf zetsus deal is #also madara is my beloved madman. he is so so good and i lov him #i dont wanna look at sasuke's loser gang tho they r so boring #am pro traumatize kakashi tho. i eat that stuff up. poor guy. hes really going thru it #and by it i mean his entire life #also the obito stuff did not work how i thought it did #i assumed that madara joined obito with zetsu not with hashirama cells. and so zetsu could kinda control him #not zetsu encasing his body #who was the one being all silly with the akatsuki then? presumably zetsu bc obito no longer feels like a silly lik guy #i have unlocked the powet to draw obito horror now tho. maybe ill wait until hes dead before i draw him but idk how long thats gonna take #maybe into the 400s i dont feel like checking lol #oh god. i just realized nejis time is running out lol. nooo i feel like im gonna hate his death #am still having much fun tho haha #naruto #naruto ramblings #unrelated

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I thought about working a 9-5 for the next 45 years of my life and all of my love for life has evaporated

#it's 1am i'm going to read fun fics and forget about it and go to sleep #i have other things to worry about. we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. #.... it's genuinely distressing though. #because the only times i feel like a real person are outside of school or work. #especially holidays #i am never as much myself as during the summer holidays #i never have as much energy and motivation and joy for life as during the summer holidays #but soon i won't get a 2-4 months period to be a real person anymore. #soon i'll have to take a few weeks/year for a good 4 decades and by the time i'm done i won't have enough money to enjoy my freedom #i don't want that. i want to be a person. i want to be me 24/7 all year round #i don't want to say 'i'll do it when i have the energy' every day and know in my heart i won't ever have it anymore #do you know how long it takes to recharge those batteries? three weeks of holidays won't cut it #and i'm not even going to get that #i don't want to stop drawing to stop having fun with fandom to give up my hobbies and who i am as a person #but i know i don't have the energy to be a person after 4-5 hours of work #what is it going to be like when i have to do 7 hours a day? #when i have to push past my limits every day? #i can't conceive of a future where i work. i just can't. and it's going to happen and it's going to kill me #and i'm not even going to be dead! i'm just going to sleepwalk around the whole time and never be a person again #because all of the energy i have for that will have been taken by a work i don't want to do #.... okay i'm going to cry. um. fanfic time. i'm going to bury that under good fanfic so i can manage to fall asleep #wow i have a ramble tag now

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

#rambling #delete later? #it feels so funny to get bothered by something that would be trivial to future me in like...idk a year? #i'm not as upset as i thought i'd be too- just mostly numb i guess.. #also the reason why i can't bring myself to post the artworks i had- can i really talk about how much fun i had drawing them? #when i'm barely wrapping my head around the fact that i can't no more? and for an uncertain amount of time where i'll be too busy #too tired and too short on money to even think about drawing in the first place? i don't think i wanna get used to that but well #if there's one thing i can take from these vacations is that while you guys can't see it i really did have fun improving on my art #and gosh do i love what i'm doing so much that i personally wouldn't mind if it were just for me alone to see #but after sharing my ideas and works into the wild and watching people gather around to share ideas back- #i can say i like my art and the why is because it makes me happy! and it apparently does for you guys too so why not share! >:) #i also guess one of the reasons i'm not as active is cause of the whole need to compose myself and find the time to breathe and enjoy #the works of the others and mine and think of ways to express my feelings to everyone #and trust me sometimes i wish i could just write nothing and post/reblog- but it feels so empty #if i wanted to do that i'd make another account #no i want to talk about what i love with y'all and if i start rambling well no one's complaining! #if i see something made with the thought of me behind it then ain't no way in hell i'm not climbing rooftops yelling how much i love it #so if i somehow don't do that then i'm either too busy to even check tumblr- dead- or doing even worse somehow- so nothing against you! #guess i had that on my mind for a while now so please! i'm not ignoring you on purpose! i'm probably too wrapped up in my stuff to react #same for asks btw i am not joking there's so many and i live in constant shame xD :') #if you made it this far i am so sorry for yet another long post but i feel it's justified a little x) goodnight everyone! have a nice day<3