#it will never lose its impact for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daydadahlias · 2 years

Note

sorry to disappoint you but the first fic i read from you was indeed S14, im pretty sure WB was the second one. i was hesitant to read it, bc i find that this topic is usually dealt with rather insensitively - at least in my experience

so when i read PT, i remember reading ‘It’s not his fault preacher Clifford’s son was cute and…’ but i didn’t think much of it. i kept reading the fic, then i was like… ‘wait a fucking minute’ and scrolled back up to see if i read this right. i tried to see if that fic was part of a series, i know some authors who write stories in the same universe and decided to create a series, but i couldn’t find it. then calum was talking abt ashton being high and crashing the car, then ashton saying he didn’t want the people from the town knowing they were gay bc of what happened last time and i was like omg!! it’s the WB guys!!

so yeah, bc of that, in my mind the characters were aged up. i thought the story was set in at least a couple of years after WB

i loved cashton’s dynamic sm, calum seemed to know ashton like the back of his hands, which reinforced the idea that they’ve been together for a long time. their dynamic did seem healthier

also, i felt like ashton’s personality was the one that changed the most from WB. it felt like ashton was more carefree in WB, more giggly, whereas in PT he’s quieter and more, idk, tame (?? im not an english speaker so idk if im explaining it well)

also i read the deleted fic (i don’t remember the name, sorry!!) so i know that luke became part of their relationship! i never really thought about whether or not ashton would tell him what happens but after reading your porn industry fic (i also forgot the name sorry) i imagine him wanting to tell luke, calum making sure he actually wants to tell him and not that he thinks he owes him to him. ashton does choose to tell luke in the end

also i imagine that after that, when they have sex, luke always ask if ashtons okay with what’s he doing. he obviously asked before, but in my mind it’s kinda like, yes he wanted ashton’s consent, but also he wanted to make sure he was being good, not disobeying calum and him, whereas now he asks more bc he wants to be sure ashton is a 100% okay with luke touching him, and bc ashton told him he liked it when luke asked (this came to me bc of cards are dealt by elivigar lol)

i also have a whole headcanon about michael never coming out and getting engaged to a girl bc he’s convinced he can change the way he feels about boys (this came to me while i was reading and alien blues was playing lmao) but you did not ask to get into all that

also you mentioned that you wrote PT bc you wanted to write non emo porn: i love your emo porn fics. i think they’re amazing

anyways, have a good day!!

ok here's me trying to answer this ask a 2nd time

Absolutely devastating trying to remember what I said the first time around but it was along the lines of:

That's not disappointing at all, don't be sorry!! Like I said, y'know, S14 is usually what people read from me first! It's what I'm known for. It's pretty crazy to think about a shift from S14 to WB though. That's a massive tonal change.

I understand there being hesitance to read a story like this!! It's a heavy topic that, I agree, is often times not handled with the most tact. And even though I do my best, I definitely think there's ways I can improve with my own content regarding this subject (bc I do write a decent amount of stories about it). I think a lot of people fall into the habit of writing SA as a sort of taboo which it's really not that glamorizes the trauma of victims. And so whenever I write about this subject, I try really hard not to do that. But it's definitely not an easy topic to write about!! I spent most of the writing process for WB feeling absolutely miserable sdfghjk. And I went back and forth a lot on if i actually wanted to post it or not.

I think that the characterizations from WB and PT are vastly different. Because I wrote PT first, I had a really specific cashton dynamic in it that was really just used as a sort of... comedic relief alongside some porn at the end lol and so I didn't think much about them. And then I got very interested in their backstory and went a lot more in depth in WB, obviously, and their characterizations changed A Lot, especially Ashton's. Now, considering he's 22 (I think) in WB and then 26 in PT, it makes sense that he'd be different and more mellowed out - and quieter/tame, like you said!! I also think it's a lot to do with Ashton's personality in WB being heavily influenced by his career path. He's got really big aspirations and it makes him act louder and bolder and with less care for the consequences. He's just kind of having fun, y'know, and is rather under the impression that no one can truly hurt him. He's sort of living in this disillusioned world that he can protect himself from anything because he's going to be some bigshot lawyer. And then, of course, an event like that happens and makes it so that his world view is really altered because he realizes that justice is Not on his side, and will probably never be on his side. And he doesn't want to be part of a system that can't truly save people. And I think that would definitely make sense as to why he's more withdrawn as he ages; he's found a little piece of safety and doesn't need to stray from it. And also, if you're with a guy for four years, and you have a past like that, there's probably not a lot of pressure to put on a show for him anymore. I don't know if Ashton ever started painting his nails again though. I always think that he realized drawing attention to himself was more a danger than a luxury. Because I do think there is a lot of subconscious blame that he puts on himself for what happened.

And oo, a little intertextuality !! i love intertextuality in fic it's my favorite thing ever!!! My porn fic was Portable Player!! She's my fave <33 I think i say a lot of fics are my favorite but... PP is my fave. she has my whole heart <33 And I do think that - while there will never be a requirement to share any intimate parts of yourself like that with a partner - there is a lot of safety in telling the people you love. And I also think WB Ash would tell Luke. because he would want to share that. i dont think he ever told anyone else outside of calum, to be honest. I've definitely written the scene in my head a bunch but never on paper.

and also shoutout to you for referencing my all time fave scene in an Anna fic ever. yeah, that scene Fucks Me Up. And I do think would apply to this circumstance as well.

i love hearing abt fic headcanons. It's really really nice to think about fics existing in people's minds outside of what happens on screen y'know?? like it's a real story to you. that's fucking incredible. everything I could hope for it to be. and i didn't ask but i always love hearing people talk. sometimes readers have better ideas for my own fics than i could ever have !! Also, speaking of michael, i always had in my mind, when i daydreamed about this universe, that michael would come to where Ash and Cal live now and he would See them for the first time in, like, five years. and of course calum would be a wreck (not in a bad way), y'know, and Luke wouldn't have any clue what's going on (probably a lot of "who's that? what's happening?"). so, in my mind, that was the sort of... shoe drop moment that made ashton go "I should talk to you about this because it's important for you to know." and I also just like the idea of michael & calum reuniting and seeing each other alive and healthy. and then ashton & luke sharing this moment that ofc would matter sm to Luke. because, i mean to be told something like that by a loved one really is so important and it shows such trust. and i dont think it should ever be taken for granted.

and thank you for liking my emo porn fics lol!! i do love writing them and I'm always really happy when people love reading them <33

thank you so so much for this, truly <3

#pigeon #did i blabber enough #did i blabber too much #did i blabber the perfect amount #is this #nsft #will be #anon #i hope this was all... ok to say #idk why it wouldnt be but #im always on edge abt this kind of thing lol #even though it is... my fic #always waiting for that 'isnt ur character a little fucking questionable' ask to pop back up sdfghj #thank u sm for saying all this seriously #sigh it's a real privilege to hear people talk about My fics y'know #it will never lose its impact for me #like holy shit!! you read this thing i wrote??? and you have THOUGHTS about it??#fuck!

6 notes · View notes

taintedcigs · 3 months

Text

— late night blues

pairing: roommate bsf!eddie munson x f!reader

summary: you can’t seem to sleep, so eddie offers to drive you around, but you have something else in mind that can make you relax and help you fall asleep faster; his fingers. (wc: 3.1k+)

author's note: not proofread. entirely self-indulgent. and normally i would gaf about interactions but i literally dont rn. i needed this <3 and for all my insomniacs out there... i appreciate u and i am u. hope this is like a warm/horny hug to all of u as much as it is to me. bc i need it desperately. the ending is kinda rushed i am so v sorry. pleaseeee reblog to support me. ty!! mwah.

Hogging the blanket you sank deeper into the couch, the light illuminating from the TV screen enough to have you squinting, but never enough to lull you into sleep.

You huff, impatiently, trying to shut off the voices in your head, thoughts swirling around everywhere and anywhere, making it impossible to let you embrace the sweet sleep you so desperately need.

"Why are you awake?" A low groan of Eddie's voice almost startles you, slight gasp leaving your lips, making you sit up straight with a deep breath.

"Couldn't sleep," you shrugged, "didn't wanna wake you."

"Should've," he grumbles, stomping on his way next to you, "y'know I can't sleep knowing you're awake, right?" A lazy smile is placed on his lips when he slouches right next to you.

The couch sinks with the impact and so does your stomach, the implications of his words not going unnoticed, the two of you have always been close, too fucking close to being considered as just friends.

Yet, none of you ever made any effort.

And you were growing tired of it, because, shit, did you like him. And a part of you, as well as everyone else in the gang kept teasing you about, told you he liked you too. Just waiting to be pushed.

"Wanna smoke?" He asked with a hum, "might help you sleep better." The brunette placed a lazy kiss on your forehead, another act the two of you always did, affectionate, too affectionate to be just friends, yet none of you ever dwelled on it, despite it leaving your entire body on fire in its wake, and Eddie's stomach churn with delight as you always smiled up at him. Sweet, almost peaceful, making you nod quietly, looking so fatigued that his chest ached for you.

"Was t'tired... couldn't roll one." You point toward the mess on the coffee table, grinder open with strains stuck in it, crumpled-up rolling papers, and a bunch of filters sprawled everywhere.

"How about we take a drive, princess?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head, the pad of his thumb slowly circling your face, tender and making you melt into him.

You shake your head quickly, not wanting to bother him in any way. "Eds, it's too late, I don't want you to-"

But he's quick to scoff. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Eddie, I mean it, we can just smoke this here and-" He tuts you quickly, already getting up, his Garfield sweatpants fully in view, making you giggle.

He takes your hand in his, dragging you while you huff and puff. "Grab a jacket or one of my hoodies, and let's fuckin' roll, honey."

Once you throw over one of his oversized hoodies, he almost carries you to the car, not wanting you to lose that sleepy state, knowing that it'd be hard for you to get it back.

You buckle your seatbelt, just watching him in his groove, head falling into the headrest as you admire him rolling a joint so quickly that it makes your head spin. "How the fuck can you do that?" You groan, "'s not fair." A pout overtakes your lips, causing him to grin. He wants to kiss it away, yet all he does is tuck the strands of your hair that are covering your features, turning your lips into a mellow smile, matching his.

"Well it helps if you were a dealer in high school." He rambles, a hearty giggle escaping from your lips, "I'll teach you some time too, honey, promise." You nod in acceptance, and another kiss is planted on your forehead, one you happily accept, let his warmth overtake your skin, eyes glazy and lidded as you look up at him, sleep deprivation so apparent in your face that it tugs at Eddie's heartstrings, seeing you this miserable. And not being able to do anything about it. Yet.

Quickly retrieving the lighter from his back pocket, he places the rollie on his lips, letting the igniting flame heat it quickly, sizzling sound as he inhales a small huff before passing it onto you calming you further.

You suck on it with a hum, watching the way Eddie quickly turns on the ignition, windows rolled down, the same relaxing tape playing over and over again, volume dimmed, Good Feeling by Violet Femmes serves as a background drop, one of your favorite songs, and of course, Eddie knows it.

The velvety dark sky steals your attention as you once again suck on the fragrant joint gently cradled between your fingers. Letting it engulf and numb you, for your bloodshot eyes to have a reason other than being restless.

A gentle breeze whispers through the cranked windows, rustling your hair in front of your face, making you giggle lightly. Three puffs, and you are already feeling giddy, "not too strong is it?" he asks, glancing at you with the biggest grin on his face, amber hues watching you intently.

"Nuh-uh," you hum, and his hand tenderly droops down to your thighs, giving you three gentle squeezes as a form of comfort. At least, he intends it to be for comfort.

But all you can think about is how thick and warm his fingertips are, cladded rings bringing a coldness that makes you hiss, tummy doing a flip as your hazy mind craves more.

It is the last piece of the puzzle you need to finally fall into that deep slumber, Eddie making you cum on his long fingers, curling inside of you, rings slicked with your juices, it's all you can think about.

You whine at your thoughts, throat growing dry at them, not knowing if it is cotton mouth or how stunning Eddie looks while focused on the road.

The perfect side profile that you can't help but admire; chiseled jaw with the slightest stubble that you'd do anything to have it rubbing against your clit right about now, Adam's apple bobbing slightly the more he gulped, lips plushy and so soft that you wanted nothing more than to bite into them, have them suckling your neck.

Fuck, this could be it, couldn't it?

You were already a bit dizzy, giving you enough courage to ask him to, and if he rejected you, you could always just turn it into a joke, couldn't you?

You rasp a desperate breath when his hands squeeze your thigh again, prominent veins making you mewl. His head cocks towards you in worry at the sound, "you okay?"

You barely register his words, gaze too focused on the tempting hold he has on you, "hmm?"

He quirks a brow, a smirk playing on his lips when he realizes how hazed you are, "are you hungry or something, sweetheart?"

Yeah, you were. Hungry for him.

You shake your head slightly. "You sure?" He asks, more attentive, and you can feel your wetness pool around your thighs, slicking you.

"Mhmm," you reply, head turning to meet his gaze, and when he slightly tilts his head, his shaggy bangs fall onto his forehead, making you gulp physically, he looks beautiful.

"Do you want anything?"

If he was any more attentive, you were going to crawl into his lap and grind on his bulge that hugged the print of Garfield on his sweatpants, "Nope," you gulped, prying your eyes away from the outline of his huge cock forcefully.

"Need anything?"

"You." The words slipped past your lips without any interference from you, it's like your subconscious was doing all the talking you had been so afraid of.

The insomnia and weed becoming a dangerous combo.

He choked out a laugh, cheeks crimson red, spreading across his bone like crushed raspberries. "Hah, funny aren't ya?"

He avoided your gaze, yet your head snapped to meet his. "Eddie- I-I mean it."

"Sweetheart," he mumbled, a low groan awaiting in his throat.

Doe-eyed, melting, and pleading hues finally met his. "P-please, Eddie, need it so bad, need to cum, relax," you coaxed, hand placed on his, squeezing it back, causing a drawl of sigh out of him.

He can't bring himself to ease into your touch, his lips quivering at the thought of finding you soaking for him, "Honey, you're high," he tries to reason, voice squeaky pitch, he wants it, so goddamn bad, but he can't take advantage of you in any way.

You huff, disagreeingly. "Oh, c'mon, Eddie, I just took like three huffs, you know I'm not a lightweight!"

"Sweetheart, I know but it doesn't feel right-"

"But I'm begging you to!" Your pleading voice crushes him, cock stirring just at your squeaky tone, you're going to be the fucking death of him.

"Y-you have no idea how fucking stupid I feel for turning you down when all I want to-" He sighed. "I don't wanna do anything that you might regret."

You huff at that, does he not realize how desperately you want him? How badly you have wanted him all this time?

"Fuck, Eddie, just-" Fingertips graze his once you grab his rough hands, they are powerless in your hold, and you're quick to dip them down your pajamas, rubbing them against your cotton panties that are now entirely soaked with your juices. "Do you feel that?" Your voice is shaky, and low groans rumble in his chest, his focus on the road becoming dizzy.

It feels surreal, you begging for him, for his fingers, how wet your panties feel just because of him. His brain can't comprehend a thought, your name slipping past his lips like prayers.

He can't help but press his hand further against your panties, just to feel more of you, cock straining against his own cage of boxers, knuckles white from the harsh grip he has on the steering wheel.

And you can see the desperation in his eyes, spurring you more and more. "How fucking wet I am just because you squeezed my thigh? Do you think I'd regret anything when I'm this soaked for you?"

He can't help it, roaring the engine again before he abruptly comes to a stop on the side of the road, his mind too dizzy to comprehend anyfuckingthing. "Fucking christ, baby, I-"

You interrupt him again, head lulling to his side, giving him those desperate, lewd eyes again. "I've wanted this for so fucking long, Eddie, p-please, you said you'd help me sleep... relax, I'm more than okay with it."

You know he's on the verge of caving in, he wants this as much as you do. "Angel..." he mumbles, tone so pornographically lustful that you feel the need to show him how much you want him.

You shove his hands inside of your panties in frustration, and he groans lightly at it, fingertips run up and down your slit, never entering your hole, taking his time to fully feel how badly you want him.

He collects your wetness at the tip of his digits, smearing them over the hood of your clit, earning a shallow gasp from you, just enough to break him, "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, you're soaked," he grunts, eyes watching you hungrily.

"Mhmm, all for you," you hum, head thrown comfortably into the headrest, eyes lulling. He runs his fingertips over your sides, teasing, covering you in your juices, and all you can do is mewl for him.

A digit slips inside of you easily, making you moan so loud that Eddie's cock aches in the confinements of his sweats, admiring the way your mouth gapes at how good his fingers feel. "God, you're perfect like this, princess," he hums, fingertips circling around your clit, knowing exactly what to do to get you worked up.

It makes you whimper pathetically, turns out Eddie really does know you. So much so that all you want to do is cum on his thick fingers, have him take you home, make you bounce on his cock again and again.

He pushes another finger inside of you, watching the way your cunt takes his fingers all greedily. You're the one who's supposed to be high, yet he feels dizzy, so fucking dizzy that he can barely comprehend it.

This is all real, you just begged him to finger you, and now you're mewling on his fingers, pussy throbbing as he stretches you out slowly.

"That's it, baby," he encourages, listening to the sweet sounds of your whimpers, "doin' so good f'me," his praises drive you even crazier, and loud moans escape from your parted lips the more his thumb circles around your clit.

"So greedy, hmm?" He coos condescendingly, relishing in the pretty faces you make, his ring finger joining inside of your soppy cunt easily, "E-Eddie," you mumble, lost in him, fully.

His fingers pump in and out of you at a rough pace, getting you closer and closer to the edge, he can feel your cunt squeezing his ringed fingers desperately.

"You close, angel?" He grunts, and a sheen of heat creeps its way across your chest and up your throat at how good he is, all you can do is nod pathetically, too dizzy and too lost in his fingers to even speak.

You take your plump bottom lip between your teeth in an attempt to stiffle your pathetic moans, but once he adds another finger, cold rings brushing against your clit, you can't help yourself.

"E-Eddie, fuck!" You moan, and he watches in awe, keeps his praises up, eager to see what you look like when you cum. He knows you'll be even prettier, screaming out his name, soaking his fingers in your pretty juices.

Your chest heaves with how much you're feeling him, stuffed full of his fingers, you can't even begin to imagine what his cock would feel like inside of you. Shit, maybe next time.

You pathetically rut your hips into his fingers, and he groans so filthily that your body feels frail, "That's it, baby," he praises. "Use me, honey, use my fingers to get yourself off."

Your face contorts with the sweetest pain and pleasure, his fingers plunged deep inside of you, padded thumb still continuing it's circles. Once his fingers curl inside of you, you know you’re a fucking goner.

Each of his movements, his touch, ignites a fire within you that is heightened by the weed, you are so desperate to cum that you don't even realize how pathetically you've been soaking his fingers, so wet and Eddie relishes in it.

"Oh, f-fuck, I'm gonna cum!" You moan out once you feel that dizzying pleasure bubbling in your chest, he can feel your pussy flutter around his thick fingers, making his chest swell with pride. "Mhmm, just like that, darlin', cum on my fingers."

It's all the confirmation you need before you cry out his name again, back arching as pleasure explodes inside of your stomach, vision growing white and dizzy. Your fucked out face, pathetic moans, and your gaping mouth making Eddie's cock strain tighter and tighter, as if that’s even possible.

His fingers don't leave your soppy cunt until he makes sure you ride your orgasm out, relishing in the pretty expressions your face contorts to as you fall apart for him.

Bringing a stupid wide grin to his face that has you feeling giddier. The weight of what the two of you did doesn't dawn yet, you're too tired, too fucked out to care, and all Eddie can think about is going back to the trailer and rubbing one out while thinking about the pretty sounds you made, the pretty shapes your face took as you came on his fingers. His.

He'll think about how pretty your eyes look rolled all the way back inside of your head when he's slamming into you, cock stuffed inside of you, parted lips repeating his name like a fucking prayer. Your tight cunt fluttered around his cock, milking him dry.

With a groan, he brings his fingers to his mouth, licking clean the remains of you, pathetically groaning at how sweet you taste. You watch him with lulled eyes, breath growing heavier, and if you weren’t about to pass out, you’d beg him for more, have his hard cock stuffed inside of you.

“Tastes so goddamn sweet,” he grunts, licking any taste of you left off his lips, your sweet juices engrained in his tastebuds.

You blink quickly to process all of it, mind numbed out. Fuck, he’s making this so goddamn hard for you.

“E—Eddie,” you say breathlessly, chest heaving as a shy smile appears on your lips, mind hazy as you try to form words. "T-that was amazing, shit."

"Yeah?" He beams, the praise is all he needs. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Your eyes glimmered at his words, air between the two of you was charged with a sweet tension. Breaths almost synchronized with the way both of your chests rose and fell on the rhythm of what just fucking happened. And all the feelings that led up to it.

You wanted to talk about it, take this further, maybe even continue back home.

But sleep began to settle inside of you, eyelids betrayed your pent-up feelings for him, already drooping in surrender.

And of course, Eddie knew by the sheepish smile you gave him, you were almost on the brink of sleep, and it was more important than his stupid feelings because the two of you had all the time in the world to talk about... whatever this was, tomorrow.

But if you lost your sleepy state, he knew you'd never get it back, “You sleepy yet?" He asked, thoughtful, caring gaze watching you intently, making you nod.

"Mhmm," you hummed, "But, Eddie..."

"Yeah?" He prompted, eager to soak up each and every one of your words.

"I don't want this to be a one time thing," you admitted, shyly, your heart leaping out of your chest in excitement.

"Thank fucking God." Slipped past his lips unintentionally, causing a hearty giggle to bubble up within you, easing away all of your worries.

Pools of warmth swam in his gaze, fully melting into you. "Me neither, sweetheart," he whispered, starting the car again, engine humming to life.

He met you with a saccharine smile. "But we have all the time to talk about that tomorrow, promise."

It hung in the air, the promise, almost like a warm hug engulfing you. All the confirmation you need.

"You just go to sleep, now, honey, I'll carry you inside," he urged, pressing a light kiss onto your forehead.

"T-thank you," you hummed, resting your head comfortably, deep slumber not taking long to find you while he watched intently, mind still running with thoughts of you.

Both of you had no clue what would happen with this; yet, you were now sure that this wouldn't remain as a one-time thing.

After all, you had a hard time sleeping almost every night, thankfully, you would now have Eddie to fix that.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fics #eddie munson oneshot

2K notes · View notes