#it was heartbreaking but also the emotion the ending of the season needed

[duchezss]

I've taken a bit to try and assemble my thoughts of jwct, and frankly I still don't know how to feel. Not in a "oh that was bad" kinda way, but in a "that was life changing how can I move on" kinda way. So I'm gonna do what I do best and just ramble on here, you know me. Spoilers of course.

Overall thoughts:

Holy cow the animation!! Not to say jwcc was ugly, but you can instantly see the budget differences. The lighting was gorgeous and the sequences were great. It was just so clear how much love was poured into every scene, the thought behind every move was so clear.

The story was so engaging and good. I thought I was gonna get tired of the "picking everyone up" trope, but it worked so well. I think the difference is this show knew how to take it's time. Ben and Darius had a few episodes to themselves, then Sammy and Kenji were given time to express their grievances. Hell we didn't even get to Yaz till ep 6 and I loved that. The dinosaurs were great too, and the overall plot was just amazing. I loved how it all slowly enfolded and how it was clear they had only scratched the surface with what they found out.

The voice acting was great as always, but it did kinda make me emotional at first to hear how much Paul had grown up. Getting used to Kenji and Brooklynn's new VA's was kinda odd, especially for Kenji, but by the end I was mostly cool with them.

The characters (and trust I'm gonna talk about all of them individually in a sec) were just superb. Their overall maturity and growth was outstanding, especially seeing how their trauma really effected them all differently. All of their arcs before and throughout the season were simply breathtaking. I think this season might be the best in terms of balance, it handled it's action, humor, and emotional moments so well.

This kinda relates back to the animation, I can't explain it, but they all just felt so much more human this season. Everyone's body language was so fluid and lifelike. They would talk over each other and mumble, they would hunch and roll their eyes and all of this sounds normal, but it really stood out. I think it's safe to say the animators really popped off this season, the direction was so clear this is truly a masterpiece. Also I felt like all of them were so touchy and I loved that so much. Like yes hug, hold hands, grab shoulders, pat on the back, I LOVE.

Characters:

Darius, my god Darius. Of course I've always loved him, he's an amazing mc and he is just so lovable. That being said I generally couldn't get over how much I loved him this season. He blew me away in ways I couldn't have imagined. His grief is so understandable and the way he shifted his ideology on dinosaurs because of Brooklynn was just heartbreaking. The way his character was handled was amazing, and it was wonderful to see that the writers do know how to let the others shine while still showcasing that he is the mc. I was also so in love with how sassy and witty he was, like when did he become so funny? His vulnerable moments were just as good and I loved how they showed his anger and frustration as well. His arc about learning to accept his grief and his regret was so poignant and beautiful. It's clear he needs a shoulder to cry on and yet he still puts everyone first, god I didn't think I could love him this much. He was easily the best character this season, I feel like they FINALLY showcased how amazing he is, just 10/10 no notes they ate.

I was kinda shocked by how goofy Ben was, but man I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. Still can't get over how tall he is, and while I hated his design at first, it's really grown on me now. I really don't get how a lot of people are saying he felt like a shell of himself, cause frankly this season just cemented him as one of my favorite characters ever. He was kind, caring, understanding, humorous, he cracked jokes and messed around, but also got emotional and real. Him being a conspiracy theorist and living out of a van just makes sense, and the way he's the opposite of his germaphobe self now is hilarious. It was also interesting to see him as the meditator since he was the only one that got along with everyone else. He tried to help Darius with Kenji, he tried to give advice to Yaz about Sammy. It was just so lovely to see him so content and yet still himself? His scenes with Bumpy were so sweet and sad I can't stand them. Also I'm kinda obsessed with the fact that he's so big yet sucks at fighting and defending himself...king. I loved his mini arc about almost regressing on his fear, and how he grew from that. Ben ily light of my life, still the goat I fear.

Sammy's whole story just felt so heartbreaking. When they found her on the farm all alone it hurt me so bad. The way her family was her whole world and now they aren't on speaking terms? I hope the writers explain a bit cause I just can't fathom why? And Yaz moved away and she was really all alone. The way she approached her grief and her whole life in denial, and how she refused to accept anything was so heartbreaking. It hurt even worse because despite all of that pain she was still her. She was headstrong, kind, and passionate, for people and for dinosaurs. I did love how they still showcased her flaws and weaknesses. She had a hard time treating Yaz differently, but she also just wanted someone to actually be there for her. It's so clear she's tired and wants to be the one taken care of for once. Sammy stories feels heart wrenching in perhaps a more subtle way than the others. I really loved the direction the writers took her in this season. They showcased so much good and left us wanted more and ugh someone just give her another hug please.

If there's one thing the writers can be consistent on is making me despise Kenji. He was annoying me at first because of how he was approaching things, but he really grew on me by the end. He was this season’s punching bag and it was so heartbreaking. Brooklynn died and he blamed Darius and it's like he couldn’t escape his anger. It's interesting to see how him and Darius secluded themselves in different ways, and the way he still calls their mom? Oh I'm gonna cry. Yes Kenji is mad and he has every right to be, but it's clear his anger is misplaced. The whole scene with his father was so sad for so many reasons. Yes Kenji didn't like his father, but he literally watched him die. His breakdown was so painful to watch. I like how we can see Kenji kinda mature again over the season. It's as if he's relearning that not everything is in his control, and he shouldn't dwell on that. Sometimes his VA sounded too uninterested or nonchalant, which is a shame because the thing about Kenji is he pretends not to care but it's really the opposite. I am intrigued to see where this show will take his journey.

We took a while to get to Yaz, but I'd say it was worth the wait. I liked how this series didn't shy away from talking about her ptsd, and it took it even a step further by exploring peoples ways of coping. It's also interesting to see how fear has driven Yaz and how that has effected her relationships with all of them, but particularly Sammy. She's trying so hard to do better, but healing isn't linear and building a glass house around yourself can only do so much. I really hope they'll let us see how all of this is effecting her next season, because for someone is deathly afraid of dinosaurs this season put her through the ringer. That being said, I think there's no denying the bravery she showed. No matter how terrified she was she was always there for her friends. When Sammy needed her she knew how to calm her down, when her friends needed her help she let her instincts drive her. She even learned to let herself enjoy the moment, adding humor to trying to make the best of things. I feel for Yaz and I want to see her find comfort in her friends again, because she also just needs a hug.

Character: five stage of grief

While writing this I stopped and realized that in a way all of them really represented the five stages of grief regarding Brooklynn and just their life in general. So I wanted to take an interlude to talk about that for a moment.

Denial: Sammy - It's clear that Sammy has been trying to deny anything and everything, if only to pretend all of her problems are nonexistent. She doesn't want to believe that her family won't talk to her, and that Yaz won't either, and that her friend is just gone. Denying makes it all of it easier and so she makes herself busy so she won't even have a second to think about it all because then maybe she'd have to accept it.

Anger: Kenji - He's blaming everyone, especially Darius for Brooklynn's death. He blames the Allosaurus and he blames his father and through it all his anger never dwindles. Eventually it's all too much and he lets his anger become sadness, but it's clear his frustration and aggravation are not exactly gone. He can forgive but still feel mad at his situation and I think that's ok.

Bargaining: Yaz - Her's almost borderlines on denial like Sammy, but I think it's a little different. Because unlike Sammy she thinks everything is ok. She's convinced herself that this dino free island is fool proof and if she hides away like this nothing bad could ever happen. Obviously she comes to find out this isn't true and she has to accept the fact that her reassuring herself can only do so much. She has to face her fears, and boy does she.

Depression: Darius - From the get go we knew Darius wasn't doing too good. He's locked himself away in his bunker, cut off everyone, and had just become obsessed with catching the Allosaurus. Loosing Brooklynn was hard on all of them, but it's clear he took it the worst. It also didn't help that Kenji blamed him so much, so he fell into this hole. It's not the typical signs of depression, but his behavior is so different than before. Old Darius would have never cut everyone off and reduced dinosaurs to simple killers.

Acceptance: Ben - He's perhaps the only one that can speak so plainly about Brooklynns death. He constantly reassures Darius that it wasn't his fault and he's the one that rallies all of them together. His acceptance of her death is what allows him to put the pieces together that someone is after them. Of course he still mourns her, but the difference is he wants to get her justice and make sure all of them are safe as well.

Relationships:

To get the elephant out of the room THANK GOD brookenji broke up. I know they have a lot of shooters but I have and will never support or understand them. They just didn't work and had like zero chemistry. I really hope they stay broken up please writers I can't take it anymore. That being said I was pleasantly surprised Kenji's whole character wasn't just about Brooklynn. Yes she was a big factor, but without her there it's like he could be his own character again. That was always my biggest gripe with s4-s5 brookenji. I couple should not be reduced to their partners, they need to be their own person too.

Yasammy you will always be famous. The two of them were absolutely wonderful this season. Their fight was so warranted and valid and I loved that both of them were right in some ways. It's never black and white and it's up to communication to resolve those issues. The two of them are just so in love, they are actual soulmates like I can't. No notes, I think their relationship is proof that you can balance a couple and the individual. Sammy has her problems, Yaz has her problems, and together they can be a mess, but that's what so wonderful about it. The scene with them after they got out of the van was generally so beautiful I LOVE THEM.

Darius "I was in love with Brooklynn" Bowman....I USED TO PRAY FOR TIME LIKE THESE?? When I tell you I screamed I mean it so bad, I almost fell out of my chair. I know a lot of people aren't a fan, and they think it reduces their friendship, but I disagree. I think Darius still would've been heartbroken, but this just adds a layer. I also love it cause it's just so messy, and I think that makes it feel more real. What do you do if you love your brothers ex? I have been a dinostar defender for years, and I think there's no deny how much they mean to each other. I know he said Brooklynn didn't replicate his feelings but until we see the scene I'm gonna deny that. I think she rejected him because she didn't want him to get hurt in her investigation, that or she doesn't want to hurt Kenji. Let me just say writers you have a chance to get this all back on track PLEASEEEEE do not mess it up I can't take the heartbreak again.

Ben and Darius' friendship was kinda the best thing ever and I wasn't expecting it at all? I know they've had a rocky relationship before but this was so playful and I loved it so much. The way they goofed around and got into trouble, the show couldn't handle them together all season I guess. I also love how tender it was. Ben was so patient with Darius and it was clear he only wanted the best for him. Darius was just as patient with Ben and he helped him through his little paranoia relapse. They were such a good time and a blast to watch like the amount of times the two of them had me busting out laughing was insane.

Sammy and Ben duo oh how I've missed you. Another one I really didn't expect but they were so lovely. I loved how much they messed around yet they also dropped everything to commit a few crimes. Ep five was full of them and I loved it so much. Also the way Sammy constantly defended Ben was so special to me, that girl knew how to throw a punch lmao. Nothing too crazy, but so welcome and sweet. Also the way Ben was terrorizing Sammy on the phone with Yaz, peak cinema.

MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME NOW KENJI AND DARIUS. WHY are they always fighting Kenji don't make me mad. I loved their relationship so much. The way Kenji was so angry at Darius and yet Darius held him so close while he had a breakdown? Might just kms. They friendship is so rocky and real and I love that. I also love how Kenji wasn't angry when Darius said he had feelings for Brooklynn. He just listened and the maturity they both have is insane. I'm terrified of Brooklynn coming back and causing a love triangle, but honestly I'd be fine if they all just stayed friends if that means these two end up alright. When the brothers brother >>>

Ben and Yaz bestfriendism back everyone cheered. The way they still call each other by their last names actually kinda tears me to pieces. I love how Ben offers advice to Yaz even if it's in his own silly way. They're both so gentle and yet so playful with each other I love. I love that Yaz just let's Ben go on his side quests like yeah he's got it. They didn't get that many scenes but I still love them so dearly anyways.

The return of the king, Sammy and Darius. I know they didn't get that much but they were always one of my fav limited screen time duos. The way they constantly comfort each other just pulls on the heartstrings. Like when they just hugged in the back of the van? And when Sammy raced to hug him again in the warehouse? Ohh I love them. And despite it all Darius trying his best to defend Sammy? Save me older sister-younger brother duo save me.

Kenji got very limited time with Sammy and Yaz and I can't wait to see more cause those just iconic duos, I also would love to see more of Darius and Yaz since they also didn't meet till the very end. I really hope S2 (I'm pretending like it's already confirmed) let's us see more of this, especially Kenji and Yaz please I've missed them so much.

Ohhhhh Ben and Kenji. Benji nation we're kinda so back, living off crumbs is better than living off nothing. Ok but in all seriousness their relationship is so sweet. Ben trying to make Kenji see reason in the beginning, then letting Kenji hold Bumpy's egg cause it was clear that's what he needed at the moment. Then Kenji helping Ben when he got hurt. It's clear they speak in actions, not words. I need more of them like actually I've missed my pookies so bad.

Lastly I wanna talk about Yaz, Sammy, and Ben with Brooklynn. Their flashbacks broke my heart, and it also showcased how different their love and grief for her was. THE FACT THAT WE FINALLY GOT B DUO AND IT'S AFTER SHE'S GONE...my heart shattered. I love how funny and chill they were, we were so robbed of this in jwcc I swear. It's also kinda sad because the implication that Ben introduced Brooklynn to dark jurassic which subsequently lead her down the path that got her "killed"...I'm done. Also the fact that they were so casual implies that Brooklynn would constantly visit him at college which is just so sweet? I can't stand them bye. Sammy casually having Brooklynns old jacket tells me Brooklynn used to come over a lot, perhaps more when they were younger. Also Sammy seemed shocked to go in that room so I might be reading into this too much, but I see it as maybe that was Brooklynns guest room at one point? I am also a firm believer that Sammy dyed her hair pink for Brooklynn. Like Ben, everything just felt so casual and therefore more heart aching. Sammy wants to pretend like she could open that door and Brooklynn would just be there, researching and chilling. I think Yaz's flashback with Brooklynn is the saddest. All these years later and Yaz still confides and trusts Brooklynn to help her through her struggles. It's hard to believe they used to fight so much. Brooklynn is so understanding and kind, and I also find it interesting that it appears that Brooklynn was the one that really kept up with all of them. She wanted to be there for them, and it makes her supposed death that much sadder.

Random things of note:

I have always been a Benjamin denier AND NOW THEY'RE JUST DROPPING THAT OUT OF NO WHERE?? I can't have anything fr. Whatever, I'm still on my Sammy is short for Samantha box sue me.

Bumpy being a mother is so silly goofy but I'm hear for it, just glad she's ok cause if they actually tried to kill her I would've had to intervene.

I really loved the way they let everyone show emotions this season. Like yes of course they showed emotions before, but this felt so much rawer and realer if that makes any sense. Literally all of them cried once throughout the season and I loved that. But not just that, they let them be frustrated, and angry, and happy, and everything in between. KEEP IT UP.

All of the dinosaurs looked amazing, but man the Allosaurus stole the show. Also I loved the white eye, it made us want to view the dinosaur as evil in a way, and I think that was good for putting us in Darius' shoes.

The flashback sequence with Darius and the Allosaurus was so wicked. The team knew how to kill a dramatic moment oh my lord. This is kinda related to the animation too but so many shots were so cinematic. LIKE LIGHTING AND BLOCKING IS BACK PEOPLE. Brooklynn's apartment was gorgeous, Sammy's ranch during the sunset was beautiful. The scene of the explosion behind the T. Rex was iconic. We're so back

I'm so in love with how this show handled grief and not only that, but grief in a group setting. I think this might one of the only pieces of media I've ever seen that really shows how messy found family can be, and that's ok. It's not supposed to perfect, it's only as good as they make it.

Kenji saying dad in Japanese after having that conversation with his father about not being able to speak it, and the implication that he might've learned that word to try and talk with his father? Someone kill me like actually.

Darius wearing yellow agai- [GUNSHOT]

I could go into the color theory with all of their outfits but I won't cause I'm trying to not go that insane (it's not going well)

Ben's fanny back going across his torso, Yaz's iconic bangs.

The fact that Sammy found the map implies that A. Brooklynn came over right before she died and after Darius' confession, and B. That despite everything she still wanted and needed to talk to him about something.

Microbangs lady was actually scary as hell. I really liked her though, she was menacing and interesting. And she clearly valued her relationship with the raptors, I hope we see more of her.

I'm kinda sus of Mateo but I think that's just the trauma of every adult always betraying them. Hope he was chill and we won't see him again pls.

Sammy being such a great fighter is so random but I love it so much?? Like yes let her kick ass in cowboy boots that's my girl.

Where is Darius' necklace? When did he stop wearing it? It is important to the plot or did the animators just find it unnecessary?

Closing thoughts:

Overall WHAT A SHOW!! I had kinda fallen out of love with this show because s4 and s5 were kinda eh. I've never stopped loving the characters though, so this show was like a dream come true. Finally an amazing story to support these amazing characters again.

The character relationships felt at an all time high and I'm so grateful. These characters literally feel like my family too it's kinda bad how much I'm attached. I just love how much they love each other.

The only thing that kinda confused me was the ending. Why did they have to get on the boat right then and there? Why did no one stop the boat before it left? I'm not sure but I'm very excited to find out.

And lastly surprise surprise Brooklynn is alive. Of course I'm happy to know, but I kinda don't like the circumstances. I thought she was gonna be kidnapped or something so there would be a valid reason why she wasn't reaching out. But she's free and is just choosing to hide from the crew, with a good reason I assume. I think this will make her reunion with them more bitter than sweet, but I did just say I love messy so I'm excited anyway.

Y'all my fault I know I have a habit of rambling and making essays but this is just too much fr. Whatever I LOVE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I LOVE LMAO.

#jurassic world #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world chaos theory #jwcc #jwct #jwct spoilers #darius bowman #kenji kon #sammy gutierrez #yasmina fadoula #ben pincus #MY FAMILY IS BACK MY HEART IS FULL #Y'all it's like the good old days I wrote so much for no reason #I need them more than I need air #I can't get them off my mind #peak fiction is back #how am I supposed to move on with my life after this #S2 WHEN #but I am terrified of them pulling a s4 and it being bad pls no #WHATEVER I'M RIDING THIS HIGH AS LONG AS I CAN

[dylandrhodes]

.

#ppl are so so critical of this season #like it wasnt perfect no #but i think its still a fantastic show #it highlights the values of friendship and bravery #i dont know why people wanted? or expected other characters to die such as steve/robin/nancy etc #max’s ‘death’ had the right impact it gives something for the kids to fight for- to get her back #opens a link to her and venca? theres lots of potential there #and how brave she was to do that to save her friends/town #and the way that highlighted her relationship with lucas such a powrful scene #and i hated eddies death ok sobbing but again it kinda made sense i hate to say it #like he died saving dustin and keeping the bats from the others #he chose to be brave and not hide and go out fighting #and ultimately it would have been hard to do much wirh his character if he lived right? he would have been arrested for those deaths #and he died helping get revenge for Chrissy #it was heartbreaking but also the emotion the ending of the season needed #idk i just am seeing so so much hate #but i feel like its positioned to give us a lot more in season 5 #also i loved el’s progression this season #understanding completely what she can do and where she came from/that ahe created the upside down essentially #anyway lol dont hate me for this yall #there are def parts that could have been done better/needed better writing but #i also really love this show and think it gave us a lot considering the high stakes ending #im excited for the last 2 eps in season 5

[homestylehughes]

kiss it better

pairing(s): jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: jack's injury takes a toll on his and y/n's relationship, when tensions come to rise. emotions get the best of them and, feelings are hurt and tears fall. but that's nothing a little kissing or more can fix.

warnings: smut 18+ (idk what happened..), lots of angst, emotional reader and jack. cussing, fluff, cuteness, use of pet names and y/n.

wc: 3k

authors note: hi my little loves!! i'm back with another jack fic... no surprise! BUT this is my second back to back upload. look at me. i wrote all of this in one day, BOOM. anyways! this one was a little emotional to write, i'm trying my hand at writing angst, i love angst. i wasn't going to write smut but HEY IT JUST HAPPENED LOL. so hopefully you guys enjoy!! reblog and like if you enjoy <3 as always much love!!

happy reading <3

The devils had a rough year, everyone knew it, with their season ending in a heartbreaking way. 

Jack had an even tougher year, his season being filled with 2 injuries that led his season to end early, so he could undergo shoulder surgery. We all knew this was coming, it was only just a matter of time.

This time it hit Jack harder than the times before, he felt like he let his team, fans, and family down. 

Resting and recovering wasn't something Jack liked to do, he’s always been a go go go person, always doing something, always on the ice. 

 Jim and Ellen went with him to Colorado for his surgery, I stayed back and waited for his arrival back to Jersey. When he arrived back from Colorado from his surgery on Saturday, everything was fine. The first few days had been pretty easy for Jack, sleeping for most of the time. Only getting up to eat, shower, with my help and take his meds. 

He had been home for a week before tensions in our home started to rise. 

I woke up to a loud noise coming from the kitchen I think, rubbing my eyes quickly. As I lifted up out of bed, I turned to Jack's side of the bed, to see that he's not there. 

Quickly slipping on my slippers I make my way down stairs, to see Jack in the kitchen trying to fix himself a bowl of cereal. As I make my way further into the kitchen I see that the milk is spilled all over the counter on the floor, with the bowl also on the floor broken into pieces. 

I hear Jack mumbling words under his breath that I can't quite make out, but I'm assuming none of them were things I wanted to hear. 

Jack spots me before I even open my mouth to speak. “Shit i'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he says, looking at me. 

“ I just wanted to make myself breakfast, but I can't even do that.” His head hung low as speaks. I could hear the sadness in his voice. 

“Jack it's okay, I promise” I say, making my way towards him. “Let me clean this up, and then I'll make you something, okay?” 

“NO!” Jack says loudly, the raise of his voice catching me off guard. “No, I can clean up my own mess. I made it.” 

Taking a deep breath, trying to choose my words carefully, I can already feel the tension in the room rising. 

“At least let me help,” I said quietly, not wanting to upset him. “I don't need your help y/n.” Jack says aggressively, “you've been helping and taking care of me all week.” he says as he turns to grab a towel to clean up the spilled milk.

I stood there in shock, Jack had never talked to me like that before. Anger and sadness ripe through my body. My head is telling me to fight back, but my heart is telling me not too. 

Im hot on his heels, following behind him, “jack.'' I called out his name, his back turned to me, as he began to clean up the mess. I get no response, “Jack'' I say again but a little bit louder this time, which still doesn't get a reaction from him.

My head is beginning to win, now wanting to fight back. I go to grab the towel out of his hands, throwing it in the sink behind me. Grabbing his hip, to turn him towards me so I can look at him. 

His eyes are locked on the ground, not looking at me. “Jack.” I try again for the third time. “Talk to me, what's going on?” softly saying to him, bringing my hand to his chin to lift his face up, to look at me. 

Jack is quick to rip his face from my hand, “i don't want to talk” he says looking straight at me now. Tears of anger, sadness, frustration swimming around in his eyes. “I'm going to clean up my mess, and you’re not going to help, leave it alone.” he says sternly at me.

My eyes are beginning to fill with tears of my own, not wanting to cry in front of him, not wanting to speak and argue with him to make the situation worse. I nod at him and make my way out of the kitchen, tears falling on my face as soon as I do. 

I just wanted to help him, be there for him, he needs someone right now even if he won't say it. I know this is hard on him, mentally and physically, but that doesn't make his actions okay.

All of these thoughts are running through my head as I make my way to our shared bedroom.  Making my way to the closet, deciding to start getting ready for the day, there's no way I'll be able to sleep after this. 

Tears are still falling on my face, I want to go back down there and say something, help him, talk to him, give him a hug. Do anything that I can for him, but I know he doesnt want that right now, he made that very clear. The situation is already tense enough. 

While getting ready for the day, I decided to give Jack space today. It seems to be what he wants from me right now. The tears have stopped falling for now, but my thoughts and feelings haven't stopped wandering.

I hear Jack enter our room, as I finish up my makeup, my body instantly tenising up, taking a deep breath I make my way out the bathroom. Grabbing my jacket, my back turned to him, there's so many things I want to say to him but I keep them to myself. 

I can feel Jack making his way closer to me, his front facing my back, his hand sliding on my waist. 

“Baby” he quietly says, the sound of his voice making me nervous. Taking a deep breath, I turn to face him, my eyes beginning to water again. Our eyes locked, I can tell he's been crying. I want to reach out to him, but i don't, scared of his reaction. 

Jack's hand is still on my waist, pulling me slightly closer to him. I'm the first to speak, I can't handle the silence anymore. “I'm going to run a few errands, I'll be back in a few hours. Text me if I need anything "I say softly, looking at the ground.

“I want to talk” Jack speaks again, I internally scoff at him, so now you want to talk. 

“I don't want to talk to you right now jack.” I say, making my way towards the bedroom door. Jack followed behind me, “that's a little childish don't you think? walking away, when i'm trying to talk to you” he says a little louder this time.

Anger is flowing through my veins, hot angry sad tears are now falling down my cheeks. “You don't get to speak to me like that.'' I say a wip my body around to face him. “You don't get to decide when we talk, or when I want to talk to you! '' I say with a voice full of venom. “You didn't want to talk 45 minutes ago, when I tried to talk to you. So yes jack, I am walking away. I have things to do. I don't want to be around someone who treats me like shit when I’m trying to be there for them” 

My voice is losing its battle of being strong, my emotions are winning, as my voice begins to trail off. I'm not stopping there, quick to cut off jack as he opens his mouth. 

“Actually, we are going to talk now.” I say, throwing my jacket on the ground. “I am trying my best to be the best I can for you right now. As much as you won't admit it, you need me right now, you're so stubborn that you won't let me. Let me be there for you, let me help you, we are in this together, stop acting like you are doing this alone.” 

“I know this is hard on you in so many ways, I'll never know what you're going through, but let me be there, talk to me. This isn't easy on me either, seeing the person you love the most in pain and you can't help them.” I'm beginning to sob at this point, trying my best to get everything out that I want to say. I'm not sure if I'll have the strength to do it again. 

Taking a few steps, to stand in front of Jack, grabbing his face in my hands, tears also streaming on his face. He leans into my touch this time, instead of pulling away. 

“I love you so much, don't push me away, please.'' I say staring in his eyes, looking for a response. Instead of words, Jack pushes his lips to mine, the kiss surprising me, knocking me off my feet almost. My hands never leave his cheeks, our mouths moving in sync, in a passionate kiss. 

Jack pulled away first, lips swollen, our chests both rising. “I'm so sorry” Jack begins “ I'm so grateful for your help and love during all of this” “this” he gestures to his shoulder which is sitting strapped up in a brace. “This is dragging me down. I hate it. I can't do anything for myself, i feel so bad when i ask for help im scared that I'm annoying you.” he says, “you'll never annoy me, Jack.'' I say while running my finger under his eyes, wiping away the tears. 

“Thank you for being here for me. I do need you, I'll always need you.” he finishes, before I have the chance to speak, jack is reconnecting our lips.

 Walking us back towards the bed, where he sits on the edge, his free arm urging me to sit on his lap. I pull away quickly, “ Jack, I can't. I don't want to hurt you” 

“You wont hurt me baby, what's hurting me is you not being on my lap, kissing me. Now get up here” he says with a smirk, pulling my body down to rest on top of his. 

Once I'm settled safely on his lap, Jack immdentially pulls my face down, to reconnect our lips together. 

Our makeout session is picking up, our hips grinding together, lips moving frantically together, jacks tongue slipping into my mouth, clashing with mine.

We haven't been this close in awhile, I've missed his body, his lips on mine. With another roll of my hips, Jack pulls his lips back groaning, throwing his head back.

Giving me the perfect access to his brace free shoulder, kissing and sucking on exposed skin of his neck. His grip on my waist tightening as our bodies move together. 

“Baby, I need more. Please.” Jack whines out to me, “I need to see you, I want to feel you, please, please” 

I pull back from his neck, his eyes filled with desperation. “Are you sure? I don't think we should, your shoulder, I don't want to hurt you jack.” I can see his heartache when I say those words to him. 

“Baby, I'm okay. I need you so badly, fuck” he says breathlessly as he beings to move our hips together again. I moan, as Jack connects our lips again, his hand sliding under my shirt, urging me to pull it off. In a quick motion I pull it above my head, leaving me in my bra. 

“Off. off. I want it off baby '' Jack says pulling at the straps of my bra. I reach behind me to unclip it, throwing it somewhere behind me. 

Jack is quick to grasp one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking and lightly biting it, the sensation causing me to moan out from above him. “Fuck Jack, yes fuck.” our hips moving at a quicker space, the dampness between my legs growing by the second, I can feel Jacks bulge swell benenth me. 

“Jack.” I moan out as he sucks and licks both of my breasts. “Jack i need more fuck, but i dont want to hurt you.'' I whimper. “I know baby I can feel it” he says in between the kisses his trailing up my neck. An idea pops into my head as his lips are about to meet mine again, I pull away. “move and sit up against the headboard.” I say to him, Jack's eyes widen in surprise. 

I get off of him, and he quickly makes his way to the top of the bed, his back resting against the headboard.

I began to unzip my jeans, pulling them down my legs along with my underwear, leaving me completely bare in front of him. I began to crawl to Jack on the bed. I reached him, grabbing the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down his legs, leaving him bare. 

I take in his state, eyes swimming with lust and love, pupils blown, chest falling, lips swollen. He looks beautiful, brace and all.

Wasting no more time, I sit myself back down on his lap, his cock resting warm and hard against my inner thigh. “Hi” I said to him, “Is that what you wanted? Want me to kiss everything better?” I say, grabbing the base of his cock, lifting up so I can align myself with him.

Without warning I sink down on Jack's cock, the both of us groaning at the same time. I'll never get used to the way Jack feels inside me, the burn between my thighs feels dealicious, I want more. I need more. 

“Fuck baby.” Jack whines out, his free hand grabbing my waist harshly. “I need you to move please.” “like this?” I say as I raise up slightly and slide back down on his cock.

“Yes, like that baby, fuck. More. More.” Jack says as he's looking up at me, so desperate and needy. 

I decide I'll stop tourchoring the both of us, as I lift off of him completely and sink down again. The action causing me to throw my head back in pleasure. “Fuck jack you feel so good” i say as I begin to ride at him at a slow pace. 

“Faster, fuck” jack groans from below me, getting tired of the pace he begins to thrust his hips to mine. 

“Right there jack please”. The angle of this thrusts hits my clit perfectly, causing shock waves to crash through my body. I can feel myself beginning to get tired, needing something to grab on too. 

Grabbing the headboard behind Jack, I lift myself off of him, and sink back down, putting all of my weight into the headboard, to create more leverage. 

The new movement causes my whole body to shutter. glancing below me, Jack's head is leaning back against the headboard, eyes closed, mouth open moaning below me.

As if he can feel me looking at him, he opens his eyes, pushes himself off the head board and takes my left nipple into his mouth, his eyes remain on mine. 

I began to speed up my movements, causing the whole bed to move below us. 

“Fuck right there baby.” Jack moans out to me, his hand moving from my waist to the back of my neck pulling it down to connect our lips. 

Moans spilling out between the both of us, I can feel the coil starting to build in my stomach, as our hips meet. 

“Jack fuck” i moan out i a throw my head back, now resting my hands on his hips. 

“I can feel you clintching around fuck baby.” “im almost there fuck” slamming myself harder down on his cock. 

Jack trailing his hand down the front of my body, stopping where we’re connected, his fingers finding my clit instantly, pinching and rubbing it between his fingers. 

“Oh my god, fuck” I drop my head to jacks neck, still working myself against him.

“Don't stop, don't stop.” I yell out to him, I can feel my legs beginning to shake

“Baby I'm about to cum.” Jack lifts his hand from my clit, forcely grabbing the back of my head, smashing our lips together, teeth and tongues clashing. 

One last snap of our hips, and I'm cumming. My head dropping to Jack's shoulder, incoherent things are falling from both our lips as we chase our highs together.

After a few seconds I gained enough strength to pull myself up. I can feel Jack's hand rubbing up and down my back. 

I sit back enough to fully look at him. Our chests falling quickly, trying to catch our breaths.  “That was the hottest thing I've ever seen.'' Jack says to me, his hand moving to push hair out of my face. “Did so good for me baby” I smile at him, before I'm quickly pulled back into reality when I remember his shoulder.

“Jack. your shoulder” i say frantically, “are you hurt? I knew we should have done this. Oh god "I say as I'm trying to push myself off of him quickly. 

“Hey hey, baby I'm fine.” Jack says as he grabs a hold of my face, his eyes locked with mine. “Hell, I'm more than fine. I'm great, all because of you” he smiles fully at me. 

My nerves settle a little, as I look over at him to make sure he's actually okay. Jack laughs at my concern as his face follows my movements. “Baby i promise i'm okay” he chuckles out to me again.

“Okay sorry, for caring about you.” I sigh dramatically out to him. “Hey now, none of that” he says, pulling my face closer to his again. 

“Come kiss me better.” he whispers out before connecting our lips. 

#nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #new jersey devils #jack hughes #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes smut

[m4rried2the-moon]

( 𝙋𝙄𝘾𝙆 𝘼 𝙋𝙄𝘾 ) 𓇢𓆸 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙧𝙪𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 & 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨

🪷🪞✨ blessings and lessons for taurus season

hello ! know this is a late time coming (sorry T_T) but this is what you may have learned this taurus season and what blessings you have or are going to receive <3

please listen to your intuition carefully and take only what resonates !

pile one 𓇢𓆸

blessings: three of coins, eight of cups, six of swords/the magician

lessons: eight of wands, ten of pentacles, ace of pentacles

the blessings you have/will receive this taurus season are collaboration with important people, getting asked for important and regarded highly in your endeavors. your blessings can also look like you taking what you know and using it to your advantage. seeing that you are being given the strength to leave situations that no longer serve you. there is an energy of 'master manifestor' with this forward movement, you are leaving behind situations that you may regret or feel guilty for this transition but you know you're receiving better.

lessons for you, pile one, are of knowing you are supported by the universe when you make decisions for yourself. you are learning that the stability that you seek is within you and you can create quite literally anything to your heart's desire. you may have received an opportunity for growth and messages of fruition from past efforts. overall you are learning that with hard work and self-love, your wildest dreams are at your fingertips.

pile two 𓇢𓆸

blessings: nine of pentacles, page of wands/ace of wands, the moon

lessons: five of wands, the lovers, three of swords, four of swords

blessings for you, pile two, may look like you coming into your own in the way of self-sufficiency and doing sh*t on your own. green lights ahead for any projects you've been wanting to start or finding new ones. inspiration is one of your gifts this Taurus season, you may also find this thriving energy to move you out of fear and paranoia. you are no longer subject to but the overruler of your inner world.

lessons this taurus season are centered around taking challenges in stride, combatting against ideas that do not fit your growth and progress. this cycle could also be teaching you to commit to your deepest wishes and go after what you want. you cannot allow heartbreak to stop you from being where you want to be. untie the blindfold, get a new perspective and step around what's "blocking" you.

pile three 𓇢𓆸

blessings: five of pentacles, king of cups, page of swords, judgement

lessons: seven of swords, three of wands, three of cups

blessings for you this taurus season, pile three, look like getting out of the cold of financial/emotional/mental poverty. you are looking at your life and how far you've come with an emotional maturity that is overtaking you recently. you are aware of what has lead to thinking less of yourself/circumstances and found a way to expand your emotional field to be a better friend to yourself. to look at your life and what you're building with more hope. this could even look like good news about something you've been wanting to start but have pessimistic about due to delays.

lessons for this season is to go easier on yourself when it comes to your ambitions and what you've worked hard for. these blessings sneak up on you like a surprise party and while you have been led on this entire time, you find that you are being celebrated at the end of the day. why? because your effort has amounted to exactly what you thought it would! so take it easy on your hopes

thank you for reading ! hope this helped and you got what you needed ! pls don't forget to like & reblog <3

#pick a picture #tarotblr #pick a card #tarot #free readings #pick a pile #tarot reading #taurus season #taurus

[piebingo]

I really loved this season. There are some things I hope they will address in ep6 (Like Wille and being the Crown Prince, it's not working out at all. What did Felice say during the interrogation? I don't think she lied about how things are. Can we please have a conversation between Sara and Linda? Can we see more of Ayub and Rosh?) but there are also loads of things I really liked.

How they did Micke and Sara's relationship, and how it didn't end well. I would have hated for them to swipe things under the rug but this was beautifully done. He said some significant things to Sara.

How Simon's spiralling down happened. It was heartbreaking to see Wille try to guide him without telling him what to do, which was with good intentions but was so not the way to do it. But I loved the emotions behind it.

The way they handled the Sara and Simon storyline. It felt very natural and it wasn't forced.

The way they show August trying to do better (possibly redemption?) but he still fucks up majorly.

The way they brought up the whole Erik thing. Wille has always idolized Erik and it wasn't healthy. I don't love what Wille learned about Erik because duh but something needed to happen.

There's so many more things but wow. I'm so happy with this season, even if stressed about ep6. I'm still firmly an endgame believer, even if it might be more shaky than I originally thought. I hope Wille's parents will get on with the program and fucking help.

#young royals #yr s3 spoilers

[atomicradiogirl]

hot take: seasons 5 and 6 hilson is peak and in this essay i will tell you why.

spoiler alert obviously.

season 5 deals with the aftermath of amber’s death. an event that deeply affects house and wilson. house since he blames himself for her death and wilson since he and amber had a healthy and happy growing relationship, although it was short lived. amber’s relationship with wilson also was one of the only ones that house seemingly “approved” of and amber warmed up to house quickly. house held some underlying romantic feelings towards amber but this was never confessed or really confirmed out of house’s own imagination and hallucinations.

season 5 of house sees house spiraling after the death of amber, trying to get wilson back into his life while he goes through grief, and abusing vicodin in a much worse way than before. this is the ultimate test for house and wilson at that point of the show up until season 8. house attempts to emotionally blackmail wilson and hires a PI to try to get him back. these actions are irrelevant since in ‘birthmarks’ wilson is forced to take house to his “father’s” funeral where the way their friendship started is revealed and where wilson sees a more emotional side of house. house digs through wilson’s insecurity that he needs house and left him because he’s afraid of losing him. their relationship is essentially healed back again after opening up to each other and house allowing himself to be vulnerable about his father.

there is an underlying theme of grief throughout this season and especially the unhealthy ways to cope with it. the middle of season 5 sees house and wilson slowly gaining each other’s trust back but house is still spiraling behind the scenes. up until the season finale where he abuses so much vicodin that he hallucinates a dead amber and is forced to finally seek help and go to a psychiatric hospital to get clean.

this moves us to season 6 where house finally opens up in therapy and gets clean from vicodin. he is at his best mental health of the show and is genuinely slowly healing from his insecurities and issues. house grows hugely in this season and this also shows through his relationship with wilson. he still uses wilson as a crutch but much less so than before. he genuinely does nice things for wilson like stealing his speech at a conference so wilson doesn’t get in trouble for killing a patient. house and wilson also move in together to their own apartment and are genuinely happy and stable up until when sam, wilson’s first wife, comes back and uproots house, forcing him to move out, and destroys what stability house had. however house is healthy enough that he discusses this in therapy and doesn’t relapse. season 6 is the theme of acceptance and healing. the season 6 finale has house face another heartbreak of a patient dying because he amputated her leg, something he convinced her to do even though she didn’t want it, directly relating to his relationship with his leg. cuddy tells house that she’s moving on from him and wilson is moving on from him, he has nothing now and he’d be alone. this coupled with the patient dying no matter what he did almost gets him to relapse. yet house doesn’t and is held together in the end by cuddy confessing that she loves him even though she wishes she didn’t.

house’s growth in seasons 5 and 6 is punctuated by wilson’s stability in his life. when wilson’s prescience wavers, house falters. this makes their codependency especially obvious. even in season 6, wilson’s guilt of leaving house behind and hurting him deals house a serious blow even though he’s in therapy and is more mentally stable. this highlights the importance of their relationship and how house and wilson’s relationship is the backbone of the show and house himself. they need each other and when one stumbles, the other falls like dominos. seasons 5 and 6 is, in my opinion, the best example of the importance of house and wilson’s relationship and the ultimate example of their dedication to each other.

#house md #meta #hilson #house md season 5 #house md season 6 #in this essay i will #essay posting again #they’re driving me crazy #i actually wrote an essay about them #i promised didn’t i? #my thoughts #james wilson #gregory house #amber volakis #lisa cuddy

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#17: You Led Me Here (S7E12)

Of course Say Yes has found it’s way back to the list. 😊 This is such a powerful and important conversation between these two. And the scene is stunningly acted from them both. It’s moving every time I see it and while it’s heartbreaking that this van scene ended up having some foreshadowing with the fact that Rick and Michonne will in fact “lose” each other 2 seasons later, it also is such a beautiful declaration of how much they love, respect, trust, need, and believe in each other. Rick and Michonne have had such a valuable impact on each other and this scene depicts how aware they are of that...

First, I love how Rick wanting to extend this trip with Michonne came up consistently in so many Say Yes scenes. And it’s super sweet that he wants her to know how much he loved this time with her when he pulls the van over and says he could've gone a few more days and would have liked that.

He knows Michonne's feeling a lot rn, and he wants her to know that while that was a scary moment with the whole Walker/deer thing, the overall honeymoon trip has still been everything they could’ve wanted.

If they could’ve stayed on this run for a month, homeboy would have been down for it, I'm telling you lol. He so openly loves her and wants to be around her. He has for seasons, and I love that post-canon he now gets to more directly express that.

Then Rick just breaks my heart and boosts my respect even more when he admits to her that he hasn’t been sleeping thinking about what they lost and thinking about his friends.

I love that Rick is always so willing to be vulnerable with her and let her see his most human side.

Side note: Another thing I think about is how in the TWD pilot, Rick talks with Shane and shares that while in front of Carl, Lori asked Rick if he even cares about her and Carl at all. It’s a line that intentionally has some real irony to it, as throughout this series we see Rick go on to demonstrate just how much he unquestionably cares about and will do anything for his family. But clearly, because Rick and Lori weren’t actually each other’s person there’s this inability to truly understand each other. It’s really one of TV’s most compelling depictions of a fail-marriage if you ask me. And I noticed that Lori always felt like Rick didn’t open up and show his care enough for her liking, which just makes me think about how much Rick grew over the seasons and how much Michonne brought out a side of him that was so different than with Lori. You know Rick found his true person in Michonne because he is always so willing to express himself with her. He shares his fears, his pain, his secrets, his hopes, and especially his adoration for Michonne always. And I just love seeing that Rick knows he can let Michonne into every part of his heart. 😊

And Michonne is always so willing to be there for Rick in these vulnerable moments like the one in this van because, upon hearing this, she immediately reacts and puts her focus on him, allowing what he’s sharing to resonate even above the personal state she’s in.

You can just see how much she feels for Rick and doesn’t take it lightly that he’s confiding in her right now.

Ok so then this is when these two don’t take their foot off the gas when it comes to getting me emotional as heck. Cuz Rick opens up about Glenn which is already just heartbreaking to hear them talk about him, but then he says how Glenn saved him but he couldn’t save Glenn. And it’s just tragic. 😢

Like you really feel the weight of this loss when Rick says this, and it’s painful knowing he feels almost like he let Glenn down by having to just sit there and not save him in the lineup.

Then when Rick says “it’s normal I know that” cue my tears because seeing him get teary trying to grapple with these heavy emotions and remind himself it’s normal to be stuck on it is just so heartrending. Like the way Michonne is looking at him at this moment is how I’m looking too. You just feel for the guy. 😢

(Another side note: I’ve seen people dismiss Say Yes as filler, but I actually think there’s important things that happen in this ep. I mean, even if the episode was just a time of levity for Rick and Michonne to enjoy their love and have some well-deserved alone time on their honeymoon before the war, I’d personally still have been sat and satisfied. But regarding the series, this is where we get valuable insight into two very important characters' mindsets about the looming war, their recent losses like our baby Glenn, and about life, which is necessary to see imo. And this particular Say Yes scene plants a seed for the show's future as we see Rick essentially choose a successor for who he thinks is most fit to lead the people if something were to happen to him. Which is notable. And, of course, Rick's choice of who should lead the others forward is his own leader - his exceptional wife. 🤗)

When Rick says they went through something that’s not cured, Michonne does just the most heartfelt thing as she softly places her hand on his face and whispers, "Rick, I’m sorry."

I adore the way she comforts him. The way they always hear each other and are present with each other. The way she sees him feeling so much and just instinctually reaches for him and expresses empathy. It’s beyond beautiful. 

And then it’s Rick’s turn to do the sweetest thing ever when he looks at her with so much love in his eyes and takes her hand and kisses it. It’s similar to when she did the same and kissed his hand in a very special scene earlier in the episode (oh we’re gonna talk about it 😋).

The way Rick cherishes Michonne is so evident as he kisses her hand and continues to hold it close to his chest. I’ve always adored how Rick and Michonne are these fearless warriors to everyone else but with each other that’s their baby who they would do anything to care for and protect. And that profound love for the human in front of them was on display in these two gestures from them. 

Rick tells her how they’re going to fight the saviors. He says that’s what happens next, and they’re gonna lose people, maybe a lot of them. I’ve always felt like there’s this layered sadness in Rick finally having to talk to Michonne about the real possibility of this war not ending how they hope it will.

Because throughout this ep, Rick so enjoyed seeing Michonne happy and he wanted to stay present in this positive bubble with her. But as the trip concludes, and as Michonne has now learned that losing Rick could potentially make her empty out to the point of dropping her katana in the face of walkers, Rick now knows he has to let talk of unfortunate possibilities in this war enter into their bubble.

And while it’s not fun to talk about, I appreciate how he still holds her hand throughout this cuz he’s comforting her while knowing this topic is not something she or he really wants to consider. But as the leaders, it’s a discussion that has to be had.

Then Rick says how they may even lose each other. Which again, how Michonne reacts is how I react because we are not trying to hear that.

She turns away and stays quiet because both her winning mentality and her love for Rick won’t even allow her to entertain the idea of losing the love of her life.

But Rick isn’t wrong. It’s possible. And I just like that he puts them in their own category because there are the people they love - and they really do love their people - but the idea of losing each other specifically is a very unique type of devastating for them. 

Rick says, "Even then...it’ll be worth it" and, watching it back, maybe it’s just me but I really do hear something in his voice that says he’s not 100% convinced about that point. But he’s trying to believe it and help her believe it too because he knows how distraught she became thinking she lost him and wants to remind her the fight has to continue even if she’s without him.

And if I wasn’t shedding big tears before...this next part happens.

After shaking her head at the notion of losing each other, Michonne starts to open up as she says, “When I thought that…” and just the trailing off alone is gonna break me every time. Because she can't even bring herself to say the words of thinking he was gone.

And then Michonne pauses and turns to him and, in the most devastatingly beautiful and vulnerable way, says, “I can’t lose you.”

When I tell you I react to that moment like I’ve never seen it before every time. My heart breaks every time. 😭 The love she has for that man is just so deep, and that was so extremely clear in this moment. I’m shedding a tear every time I hear it idc. 

Like wow. It’s such a big deal for Michonne to feel this and express this. She was the ultimate lone wolf when we were introduced to her. This was a woman who had lost so much so abruptly at the refugee camp and felt she had to then keep people at a bit of a distance to avoid being heartbroken yet again.

To see how far she’s come to have opened herself up so fully to team family, and to the Grimes family, and particularly to Rick to the point that now she loves him so much she feels she can’t lose him. It's so meaningful.

And this actually speaks to Michonne's strength because her strength isn't just derived from her katana or her ability to fight and survive - Michonne's strength is also radiantly reflected in her willingness to be vulnerable and open her heart up again even despite the risks.

When I tell you this well-rounded character is an inspiration. I stay looking at Michonne (& Danai) like...

And then y’all, those magnets seem to be kicking in cuz Rick is getting as close as he can to her to remind her that he hasn’t forgotten what she said when she asked him what kind of life they had just surrendered. I love that one thing Rick will never do is forget Michonne or anything she's ever said or done. 😊

Rick expresses that he agrees it wasn’t a life, but what they did while out on this run (and I do think he means everything they did on this run 😋) and fighting for their kids and the communities is what living really is.

It’s precious seeing Michonne nod through tears as she agrees with him about how making a future for their daughter, Judith, and Glenn and Maggie’s baby and fighting the fight is living. Rick repeats her words from earlier in the ep by bringing up 'fighting the fight' which is sweet.

Again, Richonne tones for the win as Rick tells Michonne that she is the one who showed him that’s living. I love that he always gives her so much credit and acknowledges the positive influence she has on him. Not only does he trust her to have this power in his life but also to straight up tell her she has this power in his life because Michonne would never use her influence for bad or to manipulate.

Rick says she can lose him, and Michonne and I really just be on the same wavelength lol, cuz when she turns and says "no," I felt that. Like even though she knows they have to fight for the future, she still loves Rick so much that she doesn’t want losing him to be on the table. 

But Rick says she can and that he can lose her. As I’ve noted before, it’s def meant in a literal sense of a physical possibility of losing each other rather than an emotional ability to lose each other and be fine. 

He softly places his hand on her as he shares they can lose friends, and people they love, and while we hadn’t heard 'I love You’s' by this point, you still just knew how aware they were of how in love they are on this trip.

Interestingly, Rick says, "it’s not about us anymore." The "anymore" makes me think it's said that way because at one point it was somewhat about them for Rick. Not losing Michonne, Carl, and Judith and having more time with them was a big reason why Rick didn't want to fight beforehand.

Then it is a very big deal when Rick tells Michonne that she’ll have to lead the others forward if he doesn’t make it because she’s the one who can. He says it with such conviction, and I adore how much he wholeheartedly believes in her. 

Michonne is truly so perfect in Rick's eyes and so capable. They are each other's biggest fans in the best way.😊

After all this time spent as the head leader, Rick entrusts Michonne most to pass the baton to in his absence. They’re such equals, and he knows that she can carry the torch and continue doing what he has dedicated his life to doing - which is leading the others forward. 

It’s powerful and also heartbreaking foreshadowing that she’ll have to do just that when he’s taken away. But seeing Michonne protect their ungrateful community post-Rick’s departure was heartwarming to me because it felt like her honoring what Rick shared with her in this van in 7.12.

Michonne asks how he knows she’s the one who can and then Andy just perfectly delivers the line, “Because you led me here” Powerful. I adore that the scene ends on this. It is so moving and so fitting for Rick to acknowledge the way Michonne has led him here.

Michonne has truly led him in so many ways, and I love that Rick is fully cognizant of that and seems so happy to look at her and let her know the immense impact she has. Rick is always going to give Michonne her flowers. Always. 😌💐

It’s great seeing Rick get to lift Michonne up and instill some empowerment, honesty, and encouragement to her with this whole conversation. They're both so good at speaking right into the other's heart.

It was a beautifully acted scene, a powerful conversation, and also very telling to both how Rick and Michonne feel about each other and how they’ll proceed when they eventually do get unwillingly separated.

And thank goodness losing each other wasn’t permanent and these magnetic soulmates will finally get to be back in each other's arms once again. It’s where they’re most meant to be. 🥰 

#when Say Yes aired I thought this must be the peak of what winning feels like...& now richonne has shown we have much more winning in store #greatest ship of all time hands down 🙌🏽❤️‍🔥 #richonne #top 30 #number 17 #rick x michonne #twd 7.12 #reveling in richonne #twd towl #the ones who live

[macdenlover]

My fucking god. There is so much to take apart.

This episode gave us a peak into Dennis’s mind and it’s the closest thing we’re gonna get to putting him under a microscope like a little bug and studying him in a lab. It isn’t what I expected from this episode but man oh man am i glad to have it. There’s a few things we need to establish first that’s gonna be the basis of my analysis. Dennis is angry, but he ultimately uses that anger to mask fear, pain, and every other emotion that he doesn’t allow himself to feel. Also, the entirety of the episode— every little detail was intentionally conjured by Dennis’s mind either consciously or subconsciously so none of it is off the table to dig into.

There’s two big things at play here— one, his desperate need for control; and two, his instinct to self sabotage. This episode did one hell of a job at showing how woven together the two are.

The essence of Dennis’s character is this impenetrable shell he’s built to protect the vulnerable part that sits at his core, and we finally got to see HOW he builds that shell piece by piece. This is the pressure-cooking of the diamond— if you apply enough pressure it’ll harden the shell.

Everything is thrown out of balance when Dennis learns about his high blood pressure, but what really bothers him about that is the inevitability of aging— something we’ve seen him be insecure about for many seasons. But what’s different about this episode is that while his usual fear of aging comes from vanity, this time it’s combined with Dennis being so afraid of the world around him changing and leaving him behind. This follows the thematic trajectory of this season— all the characters struggling to cope with inevitable change. 

A stress-free day at the beach is a pipe dream. Happiness is something so hopelessly distant from him that he builds a fantasy about chasing it while never getting there— sabotaging the plan because he either thinks it’s too impossible, something he doesn’t deserve, or both. This is not the first time we’ve seen this from him. In The Gang Saves The Day, the rest of the gang’s fantasies revolve around them finally getting their dream ending, while Dennis’s stuck out from the others as a barely comprehendible mess of his own misery. (I’m gonna rewatch this episode soon and give you a full breakdown of my thoughts). Dennis self sabotages in his own fantasies because he can’t imagine a reality where he is capable of getting what he wants. Dissatisfaction is something so permanent to him, and Dennis Takes a Mental health day is all about him trying to cling to things that are permanent to regain his sense of control. He is creating uncertainty in his own fantasy so that he can be certain about it. He is such a broken man and it is such a fucked up cycle— one thing continues feeding into the other. “The pin’s the key to the phone, the phone’s the key to the car.” 

The primary source of his frustration in this episode was the automated systems, which I think holds place to represent more than one thing. It’s a symbol of the changing world that he can’t control or escape from, but it also represents the parts of himself he’s fighting against. He forms systems in his life that are so methodical and complicated that it gets in the way of his ability to have real human connections. They went right on the nose with it in this ep by having him spelling out his own name as an acronym in a fit of rage. Subconscious Dennis’s d.e.n.n.i.s. system is fucking crazy. 

D- “Deliver me from this”

E - “Engage with human”

N - “Nightmare”

N - “NIGHTMARE”

I - “Is this real?”

S - “Somebody help me”

If you interpret this as his frustration with not only the state of the world but himself and his perpetual loneliness it gets incredibly heartbreaking. Guys I’m really tearing up here. 

His interactions with others in this episode also say so much about him and the inner conflicts he’s experiencing. He knows he establishes control by taking his frustration out on other people, but he simultaneously struggles with that making him a bad person. He yells at the customer service workers and then APOLOGIZES and reassures them that it’s not them who he’s really mad at. He doesn’t mean to take it out on them. (Potentially wild implications for Dennis woobifiers here.) He wants to take his frustration out on people who he believes deserve it, like the CEO. He gets to see himself as a hero in this story even if he’s miserable. If happiness is a pipe dream, he can settle for second best which is the rush he gets from taking his pain out on the guy who fucked him over. But he is simultaneously the person he spent his entire fantasy craving a real human connection with. He doesn’t know how to do that. It got weird and a little sexual (he definitely wanted to fuck that guy till the room stank). he is vindicated with violence at the end, which is ultimately what he will always resort to because it gives him the sense of power that desperately needs to make the frustration, vulnerability, and weakness go away (mentally AND physically). This is his cycle. 

I’m not sure Dennis could have an episode where he breaks down and cries and has a huge cathartic moment and then goes back to his regular self the next episode the way Mac and Charlie have. Dennis is a whole other can of worms. RCG are comfortable with exploring different sides to these characters as long as they are kept in a state of limbo for the length of the show, but letting Dennis openly express his feelings (even to himself) might make it impossible to come back from because this is literally the entire crux of his character. The last time he opened up emotionally he fled to another state only come back a year later more hostile and emotionally distant than ever. They had to put a hard reset on him after season 12 because they knew that version of him didn’t have longevity in the show. I WISH so fucking bad that they would explore the vulnerable parts of him more explicitly on the show but for now I will settle for being a little vulture and picking it out of the carcass of this season. 

#iasip #i had a lot of thoughts about this ep #this is just my raw opinions #i call this my 2:00 am autism + adhd combo move #would you believe it if i said i had more that i cut out 😭 #tell me ur thoughts pleaseee

[kiirotoao]

HEYY YOUR SO PRETTY BTW AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG

the ask :

so, i wanted to get ur opinion on s3 mike. such as, what he was going through and his internalized homophobia. things like that!

maybe some things w/ him and his relationship w/ el too!

THANKS FOR ANSWERING IF U DO ANSWER :D

I’m gonna pretend that I’m fine after weeks of getting flustered just staring at this in my inbox! Thank you, anon!!! 🥺🥺 You’re making me blush! But, uh, anyways! Let’s talk about Mike Wheeler! 💙

I think that Mike in season 3 is the most interesting version of himself in the entire show because of how hidden his story becomes. In all other seasons, Mike cries openly with other people and expresses his sadness and fears over Will and El.

In season 3, though? Besides the finale, the tearful goodbyes narrated by Hopper, we never see Mike truly cry and explicitly talk through why. Sure, it can be pretty readily implied that it’s because of the Byers leaving, but we don’t hear that aloud. We don’t see exactly who’s on Mike’s mind as those cars pull away. We're left with silent and unsure stares, looks of seeming regret or something else unknown.

Season 3 is truly a huge turning point for Mike, he’s losing his girlfriend and arguably his closest friend in the Party, and it's so easily overlooked because it all happens at the very end of the final episode. Whereas El goes through hell and fights to connect to Billy and save her friends, where Max also feels the weight of his loss, where Will gets his heartbreaking scene at Castle Byers - all the Party members who are very linked to Mike get their emotional moments that season, and we know exactly why they cry.

But Mike dances around his emotions all season long. In consulting Lucas to deal with breaking up and making up with El, in trying to tell El that he loves her without ever saying it, in fighting with Will because "it's not [his] fault [Will doesn't] like girls."

Oh, Mike. I really don't think that Mike was out to hurt Will when he said that. Rather, it's a culmination of heteronormativity and the poor relationship that he has with El and trying to compensate for it. I interpret the outburst as him saying, 'it's not my fault that I'm in a relationship and you're not, so you wouldn't get it.' And by extension, Will being in a relationship would require, normatively, being with a girl.

But at the same time, for a jab that deep - I can't help but question more.

Mike could have said, "it's not my fault you don't like anyone!" or "don't bring her into this!" or even as simple as, "you wouldn't understand!" But no. Mike takes the direct train to sexuality station and brings up the fact that El is a girl. So it seems to me that Mike is very likely harboring something in his heart about why El being a girl is important for him to argue.

But we never know for sure. This moment is never addressed again due to the Mind Flayer’s sudden return. And so it’s up to us as the audience to decide what we think of Mike’s statement. And personally, as I’m sure many of you believe, too, I think that Mike is projecting and trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t like girls onto Will, pushing away his problems to someone he trusts who’s more similar to himself than he realizes.

Tied to his inability to say to El’s face that he loves her, to the fact that they've - reportedly from Hopper - kissed all Summer long with no mention of meaningful conversation, to the very surface-level relational mending his makes by calling El’s outfit “cool” and giving her candy, to the very end of the season where Mike once again denies saying that he loved El just before an open-eyed kiss and a face like this:

Mike doesn’t need to say anything about that kiss for me to know that that’s not the reaction of someone who’s perfectly happy to be back together with his ex-girlfriend. So do I wish that we had a moment of vulnerability for Mike where he expressed his heart in season 3? Yes, but his nonverbals spoke volumes.

So, yeah, I think that in season 3, Mike is very much gay, but he he acts cautiously and self-preservingly because trauma is drowning everything out.

And what is this trauma? I know that I’m working backwards, but I need to bring up that Mike was separated from El for so long in the time of season 2, and I think that that makes him so attached to her in season 3. Think about what else he says in that scene when he admits his love: “I love her and I can’t lose her again.”

As sweet as it is to be reunited to El by the end of season 2, it’s not a clean reunion for Mike. He’s in shambles when he learns that Hopper was lying to him and not letting El even tell Mike that she’s okay.

Not to mention that this isn’t his first but second time almost losing her to the monster that season.

Because of this unstable connection, I think that Mike has built a protective relationship with El, one that focuses on keeping her rather than knowing her, and we see how that all unfolds with his superficial “superhero” complex he has of her in season 4. Season 3 was just the beginning.

And so I think that Mike in season 3 stands as a version of himself that’s confused protectiveness with love. Even though he arguably behaves with that same mindset all the time, it’s at its highest during season 3 because of his never-ending insistence to help El even if she’s capable to do things by herself. Mike isn’t just clingy, he’s worried. Worried for her life. There’s no time to worry about where the problems in their relationship arise, there’s only time to fix them and go back to how they were at equilibrium - when things were normal.

Thus, Mike behaves rather stubbornly. He’s insistent and defensive, not letting a single thing slip through the cracks and risk any more hurt. In doing so, his personality is left far under the surface and unexplored. He only acts to stir up emotions rather than reflect on them, because any pausing to think will only confuse him more. He’s looking ahead, looking at the light, holding onto everything good he has with all the propriety of a 13/14-year-old who has a heart bigger than his head.

Simply put, Mike is a bit of an anti-hero this season. And I think that it's because of this that he starts to get most controversial for the audience.

I’m clearly a Mike apologist, but I genuinely don’t think that he’s out to hurt anyone when he argues with others this season. He’s just stubborn and loud about it, which can definitely be to his fault at times. But in the end, when it comes down to who he loves, I think that season 3 is the era of change, and that ending scene with Hopper’s letter paints the perfect setup for the next seasons to reveal that Mike has a lot more going on under the surface that’s causing all of this. Maybe some regrets, things he wishes he could “turn back the clock” on, regarding, say, Will and El and how he treats them platonically and romantically? Just a thought.

The question of the day for Mike in season 3 stands: is he being selfish or selfless? And I think that it’s a mix of both, blended in with some heavy confusion due to role changing (not needing to protect El) and uncertain affections (not knowing how to figure out what he has with Will).

So, yeah. All in all, I think that Mike is really closeted in season 3 and doesn’t realize it until the final episode, and I honestly love him for it. As someone who’s gone through similar hurdles of internalized homophobia as a teen, it’s really heartwarming to see him grow and figure things out, even if the journey is far from perfect. It’s a humble origin story. And if he somehow ends up being straight and Byler isn’t endgame, well. I’ll be upset at the writers, but the impact still stands.

#Mike wheeler #byler #byler analysis #mike wheeler analysis #asks my beloved <3 #Mike is my second favorite character but always first in my heart to talk about and analyze #he’s just so babygirl #THANK YOU AGAIN ANON!!! #I wanted to reply sooner but it’s Mike so I just kept going 😂

[another-day]

welcome back to episode in review and HOO BOY do we have a lot to talk about

spoilers for episode 18 of inanimate insanity invitational!!!!!

so to begin OH MY GOODNESS that was a doozy

that episode was intense i had to keep pausing and rewinding it was scary ok lets start

seeing this i just knew i was in for a ride whoop dee doo!!

i feel like they were right TO A DEGREE, because mephone doesn’t have any ill intentions, he’s just misguided. he thinks the show is the only way he can have friends or people who like him, its really sad.

just wanted to include this because THEY’RE ALL SO SILLY and cabby politely standing beside the seat because she can’t sit on it THEY’RE SO SILLY

i was talking to some of my friends about this earlier, but silver’s whole world probably cane crashing down here. he’d been fighting for not just himself, but candle as well, and her not wanting to give him her vote, despite him doing everything she wanted, was probably heartbreaking. he’d found his inner flame and beat the competition and this is what he gets? i understand why he was so pissed later on because the one person he thought would be happy for him wasn’t.

he almost immediately covered it up, but his inner flame’s later outburst shows how he really felt.

mephone was hoping his plan would follow through here, but it also shows he’s hung onto the guilt of season one’s finale. in one of my previous theories, i guessed that he valued paintbrush for two reasons; that he thought they’d understand the guilt of losing 4s, and that they act somewhat similarly to him. i don’t think this is in confirmation of that, but it backs it up somewhat.

the perfect prize to mephone is this going to plan, without any casualties despite what the season four file may imply, from what i can tell. he’s scared its all gonna go wrong the same way season one’s finale did. however, i still don’t think he wamted to follow through with this plan, evidenced by both him and the floor at the end.

do i need to say anything

its the anti-avengers dude

sorry this was so funny to me i had to include it

this scene messed me up guys like seriously

on one hand, candle thinks silver spoon’s learned his lesson, that the inner flame is not something to boast, but rather cherish and use for good. she thinks this because silver spoon functions in such a way. he reveals something about himself that she doesn’t approve of, she expresses that, and he changes to fit her standards, that’s how its always been. it shows her trust in him, his constant, because as much as he thinks otherwise, he never truly changes his ways, until now at least. that’s why she was so shocked, thinking he wouldn’t hang on to that since he seemed so unbothered previously. to her, silver was almost always an open book, so to see him hide something was shocking.

for silver spoon on the other hand, the one person who always had his back, who taught him everything he knew, turned on him. he did everything she asked and she won’t support him. it would be enraging, hence why he didn’t understand her lesson. he was too focused on the fact that she’d decided, in his eyes, that he still wasn’t enough, too powered by emotion and greed. he’s incredibly insecure, so to have her tell him he’s doing everything he aspired for wrong resulting in the rage clouding his mind, and thus,

SHE IS DEAD BOY ‼️

seeing him inching toward her motionless body at the end was tragic i was on the floor. she advised him not to let the inner flame, his rage, cloud his mind, he didn’t listen, and look where that led him. its tragic, really.

as a mephone angst enjoyer WAAAAH

this was mean, springy’s mean, i don’t like him.

… but he’s right. to mephone, this WAS all a game. he’s changed and grown, but that’s not gonna change how badly he’s treated people. mephone is broken because he refuses to fix himself. implied through the screen protector memory from episode 13 season two, mephone was taugh that he was strong, and should never be a vulnerable. as a likely result, he may have grown to resent vulnerability, and in turn never sought help, because that would be making yourself vulnerable.

whoop dee doo ok i’m ending it there before i get out of hand.

thanks for reading this if you did and i hope you didn’t completely hate it!!!

have a lovely day, and stay safe ;P

#inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity invitational #iii ep 18 #iii 18 #iii 18 spoilers

[amailboxlemur]

Simon thoughts for season 3

My poor poor baby 💔💔💔💔

I love Simon. So much. And this season… he’s really going through it. Like the Erik bombshell really took over in episode 5 but up until then I genuinely think Simon was even more of a main character than Wille. I’m so glad they brought him back to the forefront this season.

Right off the bat, Simon is uncomfortable this season. He wants the trial? Settlement? Legal process? To just be over with. He hates that his classmates are staring at him. He wishes Wille gave him a heads up before the speech so he could have prepared himself.

His family life is a mess. Linda has finally clocked what’s going on and doesn’t trust him. Like I get it, he did steal and sell drugs. But also, he’s not using and more than anything he just got himself into a messed up situation. And it feels unfair that she missed what was going on for so long but now that she knows she’s acting like Simon is CURRENTLY drug dealing. Seeing him breakdown to Linda was absolutely heart wrenching, I’ve been waiting for the Simon breakdown and Omar did not disappoint.

And he’s not speaking to Sara. After doing everything to protect her for years she’s betrayed him in the worst way. I also think it’s interesting that they really leaned into SARA hating Micke and Simon only cut him off for her sake. After she comes home crying when Micke disappoints yet again it seems they’re on the path to mending their relationship but we’re not there yet.

Then there’s the online hate. It’s so easy to fall prey to the endless stream of negativity. Wille doesn’t understand, it’s always been his life and he’s probably at least somewhat accustomed to tuning it out. So Simon feels so alone in this. I also think the “the ones that like me only like me because I’m with wille” comment is very telling. It probably feels so fake and shallow to him. There’s also the “typical Latino” comment which… ick. I can’t imagine that’s the only comment of the sort out there.

So what does Simon do? He tries to carve out some positivity. He posts his song and receives some good comments immediately. He meets a young child who looks up to him. And gets a call right away from Wille that kind of… deflates his good mood. Why is Wille being left to “handle” Simon. And I can understand Wille trying to be gentle about it, but Simon just doesn’t understand the “rules” of the Royal court. It’s just an all around mess.

And then it gets worse. He starts getting hate comments even on his song. The kids at school are making fun of him. He even says he doesn’t love singing anymore which breaks my heart because music has always defined Simon. He gets a rock thrown through his window!! And the police are saying “ah yes, probably just a prank”.

No wonder he deletes his social media, no wonder he’s deleting himself. Nothing he does is right. The moment he gives in and joins the hillerska protest is so heartbreaking. From now on, these are the only ideals he gets to stand up for.

But he’s still insecure about his place with Wille. When Wille is distant after finding out about Erik, Simon immediately thinks he’s the problem, that he’s asking too many questions about what to wear to Wille’s birthday.

I want wilmon endgame. I believe in wilmon endgame. But Simon absolutely needed to take that pause at the end of episode 5. I hope they can save what they have without breaking up first. I hope they can have a genuinely honest all cards on the table conversation. I hope Simon can really let himself be fully vulnerable. And I hope to god wille listens, hears him and moves heaven and earth to make the situation better for Simon. Because the way it’s been going isn’t working.

I also can’t post this without a massive WOW to Omar’s acting this season. The role of Simon has always been complex but subtle. This season he really brings it with the big emotions.

#young royals #yr s3 spoilers #simon eriksson #omar rudberg

[unhealthy-reading-habits]

Like many people, I binged watched Season 2 of Good Omens on Friday. I had a couple of days to deal with all the emotions, and I’ve now reached an epiphany. What follows here is the mad rambling of a GO apologist.

Warning: Good Omens Season 2 spoilers ahead, do not read if you don’t want spoilers. I will be spoiling the ending of Season 2 in this post. Please go watch it first. I’m also going to mention the ending of two of Jane Austen’s works (P&P and S&S)

The epiphany: Good Omens is a romantic story. Both Crowley and Aziraphale asked for this heartbreak but both are so woefully naïve about what love is, they didn’t even realise what they were asking for.

What do I mean by this?

In episode 2 (S2), they both describe what they think a romantic scenario is, but both are only focusing on the romantic finale. They are not thinking about the build-up to that moment, which includes a heartbreaking separation which only then leads to those romantic conclusions.

They are actually describing the same romantic scenario of having a separation and then reuniting in love again, they just present the scene differently.

Crowley describes his idea of romance as two people looking longingly into each other's eyes in the rain. He does say “beneath a canopy” but follows the above line by saying that if you “get humans wet and staring into each other’s eyes”, this is what makes them fall in love, so Crowley is talking about confirming your love in the rain.

Examples in Richard Curtis films

Four Weddings and a Funeral - No cover, just rain kissing

Bridget Jones's Diary - No cover, just snow kissing

At face value, we think Crowley is saying the rain thing because of what happened at Eden, and I think that is part of it. But keep in mind that during the "before the beginning" scene and at the Eden scene, neither of them stared into each other’s eyes. They both kept facing forward.

What Crowley is actually describing is the romantic trope of the protagonist couple having a love-confirming kiss in the rain. The issue is the “confirmation” love kiss occurs after there is a period of separation or break-up in the relationship itself.

It’s sometimes called the “Second-Act Breakup” or "Third-Act Breakup" and the ending of Season 2 is a classic set-up for a Break-Up/Make-Up Scenario.

The trope often happens after the couple get into a big fight/misunderstanding/some event that breaks the two people up. The “under a canopy” bit isn’t the important detail here, the actual romantic scene Crowley is eluding to is the reunion kiss in the rain. To get a reunion kiss though, you need to break up properly first.

The romantic film story for the reunion kiss in the rain is only fully satisfying because it’s the moment after the horrible low of the two breaking apart, trying to forget the other person and thinking that they might not be together. So when the two characters do reunite at the end, it is a great romantic conclusion to the story.

Aziraphale described his idea of romance as going to a ball in a Jane Austen novel, where the characters realise they misunderstood each other, but the misunderstanding has to come first in this case.

It’s very obvious that the Good Omens 2 story is only halfway through and is written like a Jane Austen novel, which is blatantly said throughout the show.

[Side note: it’s been years since I read these novels so I’m hoping I’m not misremembering.]

Pride & Prejudice – Elizabeth angrily and rather viciously rejects Mr Darcy’s proposal mid-way through the novel and the remainder of the story is the “being separated” phase of the romance until they are reconciled at the end.

Sense & Sensibility – Elinor’s affection for Edward is disrupted by Lucy Steele’s presence as Edward’s fiancé half way through the novel. This “break up” of the courting between Elinor and Edward is only resolved at the end of the story when Lucy leaves Edward and he is now free to propose to Elinor.

The two most well-known stories by Jane Austen have a break up/separation scene about half way through, which the characters have to work through to then have the reunited happy ending.

For the Break-Up/Make-Up story, the two romantic interested need to finally realise/decide to disregard everything else, settle the misunderstanding and reunite, that’s the finality of the romance. To get this scene, you have to go through the break-up where the two separate first to get those raw emotions, which makes the reunited ending so incredible.

Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley have had fights and temporary lapses in their relationship, like the bandstand scene. But it’s not really them that are causing the break-up. It’s outside forces pressuring them, the environment around them making them act this way. They are also only fighting about something external (raising the antichrist, finding the antichrist etc).

This break-up is more personal, it is them individually instigating the break-up over their own intimate relationship. It’s not the usual song-and-dance, this is Aziraphale choosing a plan and Crowley choosing a different plan and both are too stubborn to relent.

It is Crowley and Aziraphale choosing to split because they cannot reconcile their opposing views about their own relationship and both choose to walk away from the situation.

There is a hypothesis about the “coffee” and Metatron’s maybe brainwashing here, but in my opinion, Aziraphale still chose his plan for their relationship over Crowley’s plan for their relationship. This was a conscious choice on Aziraphale's part.

This time, they were arguing about themselves, which led to a true break-up. An irreconcilable argument between them that they must work through so their relationship can mature:

Crowley still cannot understand that Aziraphale will never run away with him to be just the two of them. Aziraphale cares too much about Earth and humanity and wants to help people, so Aziraphale will never just leave.  

Aziraphale still cannot accept that Crowley is not and does not want to be an angel. Aziraphale is not listening to Crowley when he says he does not want to go back to how things were before because he is genuinely happy with just being with Aziraphale.

Aziraphale consistently reminds himself that Crowley is a demon because (maybe knowingly, maybe subconsciously) he still sees him as an angel.

Crowley’s good actions further emphasise what Aziraphale already knows, that Crowley is a good person, but it’s very difficult for Aziraphale to separate the concepts of “good” and “angel”.

Both of them are not accepting the other as they truly are. Their relationship needs a real break-up, caused by themselves so that they can learn to accept each other as their full authentic selves.

We have to endure the low points to fully enjoy the high points.

Neil Gaiman has been very clear he intends there to be a season 3 so this love story is only halfway through, and frustratingly the break-up scene is the end of season 2. It’s like ending P&P when Elizabeth rejects Mr Darcy’s first proposal, or ending The Notebook as Allie sees the newspaper article about Noah but not showing them getting back together.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale will end up at the South Downs cottage. It’s just an emotional heart-wrenching journey between the two points. But when we get that reunion between them, it’s going to be delicious.

P.S. Neil Gaiman, you goddamn tease, if you are going for a full P&P/kiss in the rain experience, I really hope we get an Aziraphale wet shirt scene

#ineffable husbands #good omens meta #crowley and aziraphale #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens

[heliza24]

Simon doesn't repress his emotions, actually

There seems to be a widely held fanon understanding of Simon that goes something like this: Simon hides and represses his emotions, and his relationship with Wilhelm is what opens him up. I disagree with this characterization. In fact, I think Simon is actually very in touch with his emotions, and expresses them openly to his family and friends. Wilhelm and August are much better examples of emotional repression than Simon is, and if anything, the show is commenting on how the restrictive class system that raised Wilhelm and August fosters emotional repression. 

I can think of lots of examples where Simon is very open with people he loves and trusts, even when that openness might lead to conflict. I think he is really pretty open with Sara in a lot of ways. Their argument towards the end of season 1 is such a perfect encapsulation of this. He expresses how much he loves Sara and wants a good relationship with her, and also how frustrated he is by how she is pulling away from the family. 

He is also consistently open and unguarded with Rosh and Ayub. He tells them about how he’s feeling about his relationship with Wilhelm in season 1, about how he feels during the fallout from the sex tape, about his changing feelings about Marcus in season 2, and about the prospect of getting back together with Wilhelm.  The scene where Simon falls asleep on the phone with Ayub is one of the most tender, emotionally open scenes I’ve ever seen on television. 

Simon also channels his emotions into his music, which is a healthy and appropriate way to deal with the heartache he’s experiencing. We see him slowly crafting his song over the course of season 2, and returning to the keyboard when he’s feeling especially distraught. Creation of art like this requires self introspection, and I think Simon has that in spades.

What Simon doesn’t do, especially in season 2, is confide in Wilhelm. But this isn’t because Simon is afraid to talk about his feelings at all. He’s making the conscious decision to withdraw from Wilhelm, because Wilhelm deeply hurt Simon and betrayed his confidence at the end of Season 1. Drawing conscious boundaries like that also requires self introspection; working to keep yourself emotionally safe is not the same thing as repressing your emotions.

I think it’s easy to interpret Simon not talking to Wilhelm as Simon squashing his emotions because Wilhelm is the protagonist of the show, so we naturally see the world of Young Royals through his eyes. So when Simon doesn’t share with Wilhelm, it feels like he is also refusing to share with us, the viewer. But that’s why Lisa and the writers chose to create Rosh and Ayub, so that Simon would have confidants that he trusted, that were outside of the hostile class system of Hillerska. They are great characters, but they’re also devices that allow Simon to show the audience how he is truly feeling. 

In my post about Simon and radical acceptance, I talked about how I see Simon’s arc in season 2 being about accepting that he is still in love with Wilhelm. I should maybe make it clear that I don’t think that he doesn’t understand or express how he’s feeling at the beginning of season 2. He tells Rosh and Ayub that he is still stuck on Wilhelm, and he starts writing his song to express his heartbreak. But at the beginning of season 2 he is trying to move on from those feelings, and leave the drama with Wilhelm behind.  The change comes in the way that he accepts that he is in love with Wilhelm by the end of season 2, and decides that it is worth walking towards their relationship, even if it could lead to him getting hurt.  I think as a fandom we need to be careful not to reduce all of Simon’s emotions to whether or not he is actively pursuing Wilhelm. He is a complete character who expresses his emotions whether or not he’s with Wilhelm.

It kind of baffles me that Simon gets brought up when we talk about emotional repression, but Wilhelm and August are never mentioned. Both were raised in families where stoicism is valued above all else. (This is especially true in the Royal Family). Both are grieving (Wilhelm for Erik, and August for Erik and his dad), but we hardly hear them talk about this after the initial loss, even as it continues to motivate their actions. Both have physical manifestations of the emotions they are trying to repress (Wilhelm has physical symptoms of anxiety; August punishes his body through disordered eating in an attempt to maintain control of his emotions.)  Wilhelm is eventually able to open up to Boris, but it takes a lot of coaxing over several sessions. August flat out refuses to be honest with Boris at all.  

When @bluedalahorse and I were discussing this idea of emotional repression, the male characters’ relationship to anger came up a lot. I think the stereotype of emotional repression in men is that they are pressured to appear perfectly still and stoic at all times. But in reality, anger in men is often viewed as neutral or logical, and is therefore the socially acceptable method for engaging with any and all emotions. 

I think a large part of Simon’s character is a sense of righteous anger. We see this come up in different ways for him. He gets angry at the class system of Hillerska, at his dad, at August, at Marcus, and at Wilhelm. He often manages to translate that anger into an assertion of boundaries, which is a healthy way to use those feelings. He manages to set up boundaries with Wilhelm and with Marcus, for instance. And even when he does explode in a way that is unhelpful or dangerous, he has Rosh and Ayub to call him out and reel him back in, like when he jumps on August in season 1. I’m not saying Simon has a perfect relationship with anger; he definitely doesn’t. But I think he has a much healthier relationship with it than August or even Wilhelm, who uses anger as a substitute for sadness and grief.

August spends most of season 1 translating his distress into being a bully to the boys in Forest Ridge and shitty boyfriend to Felice. Shooting and posting the video also feels like a way to channel his sadness through anger to me. He records Wilhelm the same night that he admits that his dad’s suicide made him feel guilty. This is the only time that we hear him talk about his dad at all, and he immediately covers up this moment of emotional vulnerability with an act of aggression against the person he shared it with.

Wilhelm has a really hard time dealing with the sadness he feels at the loss of Simon in season 2. Wilhelm spent so long repressing his emotions, and finally felt like he could confide in someone when he met Simon. But in season 2, that one emotional outlet is taken away from him (with good reason from Simon’s point of view), so instead he lashes out, first at his mom and then at August, neither of whom are directly responsible for the breakup in the same way that Wilhelm is. 

So if we’re going to talk about emotional repression and growth towards openness and vulnerability in Young Royals, I think we should be talking mainly about Wilhelm and August. A big question of the show is if these two characters are going to arrive at a place where they no longer repress their emotions. Right now Wilhelm is moving in the right direction, and August is backsliding. But it will be really interesting to track how they evolve in season 3. 

#young royals #my meta #simon eriksson #august horn #prince wilhelm #ayub young royals #rosh young royals

[bronx-bomber87]

Good Evening and Happy Tuesday. Ahhh we’ve reached glorious s4 aka the season where Tim and Lucy emotionally date each other while they’re in relationships without realizing it LOL The amount of emotional intimacy we get in this season is unreal. We get more growth for them both personally and professionally. Also the insane amount of work flirts is crazy but amazing. I love this season so much. Let’s get going with the premiere.

4x01 Life and Death

When we last left our gang Angela was abducted from her wedding. We start the ep out with an intense OP in progress. Tim asking Wade if they have permission to enter? Grey has a flashback to Angela’s original disappearance before he answers. We hear Lucy saying Jackson is gone along with Angela. We end up in Grey’s office with a gruesome video of their abduction.

We watch as Angela is loaded into a van and Jackson is taken as well. It’s then we see Jackson fight back but he is shot and killed immediately. Loaded into the trunk like cargo. It's horrifying to witness tbh. Watching everyone’s reactions is crushing. They’re all in shock at what they’ve just seen. Can’t believe it’s happened. Lucy’s kills me the most. Harper and Tim are shell shocked. Nolan is a statue. Grey looking as devastated as I’ve ever seen him.

What was supposed to be this momentous and happy occasion is anything but. Lucy just lost her best friend in the blink of an eye. Hurts to watch. All of them are stunned into silence. I remember watching the premiere thinking no way they just killed Jackson right? He must be ok....Just wounded..... Unfortunately that is not the case. We lose him to La Fiera’s senseless violence. I rewound the scene to make sure. I was so stunned I couldn't grasp it. Ugh. It's such a heartbreaking way to start the season off.

Grey comes back to the present and confirms Jackson been killed when replying to the Tactical Leader. The leader saying they need more time before they breach. Grey lets him know been 3 hours since Jackson was killed and Angela was taken. He wants his people to go in he can't wait. Tells Tim and the others to breach now. They’re searching the warehouse where they tracked the car that took her. They make it inside and see the car is empty. Lopez’s wedding dress on the ground.

Lucy goes to grab it when Nolan stops her. Says there’s a trip wire and it leads or C4 under the car. They head back out and request the bomb squad. Saying they can’t track the next vehicle till the scene is clear. As they’re leaving Nolan spots the dirt road outside it. Actually has useful information for once saying they took a plane not a car….

We return to Lucy with Nolan at the station. She’s currently beating herself up for not catching that trip wire. You just lost your best friend love. It’s ok to be a little unfocused. Lucy is breaking my damn heart. Anytime she cries it just hurts to watch. Melissa crushing it over here. The way she loses it over talking about Jackson hurts my soul. She’s wearing her medal he gave her too. Killing me softly with the details. I want to hug her but Tim will cover that for me shortly.

She asks if Nolan if he really thinks Lopez is alive? He says yes. Harper and Tim enter asking why he thinks that? They all start theorizing why she took Angela and where. Tim tells them they have to look at it with cop eyes not personal ones. Lucy brings up the baby. How they bonded over motherhood. That psychologically she could see how Angela betrayed that bond when Diego died. The best revenge would be to take her baby..So dark and twisted.

Grey comes in and tells them the DEA isn’t going to help them due to politics. That being the short answer. Really just red tape BS. Their main focus is finding Jackson’s killer which will hopefully give them a beat on Angela. They figure out Jackson scratched his killer as his final act. Knew he was going to die so he took his DNA with him. They’re rushing results to find out who and that he’s hopefully in the system. He went out like a bad ass doing that gotta say.

Grey tells them all to get some rest if they can. I love her letting Nolan pass by her first. Hanging back for Tim. Needing to show her deepest vulnerabilities with him only. Craving his comfort and a deeper convo with her person. Her and Nolan had a surface talk earlier. What she needs is so much more than that right now. So she naturally turns to Tim. Waits for them to be alone before spilling her emotional guts completely.

First off let me say I love the height difference shot here. Feel like we haven’t had a significant one in a hot minute. I’ll always love the tall/smol between them. Gives me ship tinglies in a way I can not put into words. Hehe Also what seems like intentional distance between them during this scene. Because we know what’s coming in their next one. Zero space between them.

Lucy confiding in Tim how she can’t go back to her apt right now. To his empty room...it’s far too much for her at the moment. Tim instantly offers up his place to her. Saying she shouldn’t have to. No hesitation whatsoever offering up solace with him. That part of himself he can’t explain with her taking the wheel in this moment. All he knows is she’s hurting and he wants to help her hurt less. It’s an innate reaction of his to protect her emotionally. Even when he doesn’t understand it. It’s that instinct that drives this decision.

Lucy being Lucy doesn’t want to impose on him. Even when she’s intensely grieving she’s thinking of others. Thing is she is anything but an imposition to Tim. Never has been never will be. He reinforces his offer telling her she shouldn’t be alone right now. Tim isn't taking no for an answer. He see's she is hurting and vulnerable so he wants to protect that. Protect her.

No way he was he going to relax or get sleep of any kind knowing how upset she was. Lucy caves and accepts his sweet offer. Too tired and emotionally drained to fight him any further on it. Tells him Thanks and Tim is brief in his reply. 'Yeah.' Just wanting to get her out of the station to decompress. Get her away from anything that will remind her of Jackson right now.

Next is the moment that is burned into all of our memories. So many facets of this moment to dissect. It’s glorious. Tim being chivalrous takes the couch. Or tries to at least. Lucy won’t allow it at all. Tim says he can’t let a guest sleep on the couch. They battle a little and Lucy wins. (Cause Wifey usually wins ha) Tim gets up and you can tell he wants to do more for her. Erase her pain or comfort her more. He just isn't sure how...

He asks her if she needs anything? Lucy almost replicating her reply in 2x12 about time travel. Tim once again wishing he had the ability to reverse time for her. If he could engineer a time machine just to take her hurt away it would be built already. No doubt in my mind he would move heaven and earth to make that happen. Instead he replies he unfortunately doesn’t have that power. So Lucy asks for something he most definitely can give. A hug. Love her being this vulnerable and asking him for what she really needs.

Then comes this beautifully intimate hug. It’s the way he pulls her in as she’s falling apart. She is clinging to Tim like he’s the only thing that will keep her together. (Good shot of that ring too..pretty sure that’s intentional) How she folds into arms effortlessly and buries herself in his chest. Like she was always meant to fit there. A puzzle piece fitting perfectly into place.

How gently he cradles her head. So delicate with his hand. It's so tender and affectionate. Encasing her in his arms fully. Space is not a word they know in this moment. It's like he’s trying to shield her from her pain by enveloping her completely. Strokes her hair in a very intimate manner. While she is clinging to him for dear life. Their chemistry is explosive in just the hug alone. I'm getting overwhelmed with feels just writing about this. The way he pulls away is very telling. It’s not just an instant break from their hug.

Tim lingers in his proximity to her. You can see it in the 4th gif above. Running his hands down her arms very slowly. Like he’s trying to extend his time touching her. Waiting to the very last inch to let go. Even when he runs out of real estate he gives her a little affectionate squeeze. Lucy isn’t adding to their distance either. Her head still very close to his chest when they part ways from this hug. She looks like she isn't ready for it to end. Her body still instinctively leaning toward his.

Tim still hasn’t stopped touching her yet. Look at that first gif. He’s still rubbing her other arm as he gazes down at her. The vulnerable way Lucy is looking up at him. *oh my lord* Still leaning into his touch. Into him. The intense shared glances they have here is electric. Lightning in a bottle chemistry goodness is what this is. I remember first time I watched this I felt like my skin was tingling with excitement. Couldn’t believe they were staring at each other like this. How they looked liked they could possibly kiss. I held my breath.

It’s that magnetic pull of theirs. They’re drawn to one another in general. This is the first time they’ve been this close to each other. Probably since the 2x11 moment where he cradled her. But this is much much different. Tim is the one to break it off before they lean into each other any further. I think he knows what will happen if he doesn’t stop this. Tim being the honorable man he is won’t take advantage of her in this state.

I also think this is Tim's ‘Uh Oh’ moment with Lucy. Man isn’t aware of his feelings just yet (ain’t even close to being ready for that) but he is VERY aware of his attraction in this moment. He can't fight the fact he is attracted to Lucy anymore. That much is obvious with this entire hug and his touches. He just showed his hand to her. One he had so tightly guarded to his chest for so long. So he cuts it off before it can develop into something more. Is the one with more self control by telling her good night. Lucy's face after he’s walked away looks like she just had an epiphany. Like ‘Oh shit I’m in love with Tim Bradford..’ Melissa’s face says it all for me.

It falls in line with the she fell first he fell harder scenario. It’s then we see them both trying to come down from their emotional high. The adrenaline of being that close to one another. What almost happened. This moment reminds me of one of my all time fav Caskett moments. Castle watches Beckett go to her hotel room after a similar almost kissed moment. He stares at the closed door and you see Beckett fighting with herself on the other side. Debating to open the door. By the time she gets the guts to open it Castle is long gone into his room.

The way they both stare in the others direction with intense longing. *heart damn clutch* Tim can’t get settled and neither can Lucy. Both trying to process the intense moment they just had. She looks like she’s having an internal battle with herself above. We say Lucy breaks Tim brain a lot and she does. But in this moment Tim has broken her's and she is having an internal struggle after they part.

Now Lucy is the one who decides to go for it. Can’t take sitting in her thoughts any longer. Stares at his bedroom door and gets up. She instantly retreats when she hears him come back into the room. Scurrying back to the couch so Tim doesn’t know what her plans were. Tim telling her Wesley knows where Angela is. The mood shifting completely.

Makes you wonder what her plans were had Tim not gotten that call. Was she going to knock on his door? Just give him a look and they would give into their emotions? I mean she must’ve had a plan of some sort. Possibly relying on that silent communication of theirs to say everything for her? The UST in this moment is off the charts. It’s the first time either of them are truly aware of the sexual tension between them. It really hit Lucy hard with her wanting to act on it.

I’ll always be happy with the way they got together. I adore the canon version. Them getting together in this moment would’ve been very messy. But I adore the tease we got to start the season for them. Was a very promising sign. I remember thinking damn this season gonna be amazing. It felt like it was their pre-get together season. And it was exactly that. Also I'll never be over the fact she’s in his clothes and wearing them damn well might I add. I am dead this scene so so good haha

Everyone arrives at Tim’s place for next steps. Also is no one going to question why Lucy is already there? No? ok...LOL This is totally normal. What I love most about this next section is how in-sync they are. Just a matching power couple in black. Also cross armed Tim mmm my fav. Sexy forearm time look at those puppies. Mm love to lick those like a lollipop. Yum. Also the intense amount of heart eyes Lucy is throwing him in this scene. Girl you have an audience put those away LMAO Clearly has not come down from her hug high. If Tim looked her way in that moment he would've been speechless with their intensity.

Wesley is telling them Angela is at a compound in Guatemala. That he’s going to get her back but he needs some help. Everyone jumps in and Grey stops them. Saying only people truly qualified for this is Harper and Tim. (Why Nolan gets to be apart of their OP based on that logic idk LOL) Nolan does bring up the good point about Max from 2x14. The counterfeiting case they had where they let his team go in exchange for their killer.

Tim explaining to Grey his unit runs covert operations all over the world. He could get them in undetected. He owes them for not putting his sins on blast. He would give them tactical support on the ground as well. Lucy is gonna hang back with Grey per his decision to help on Jackson’s murder case. While Nolan will fold in with Tim and Nyla to contact Max and get their mission going.

They land and their original plan doesn’t pan out. It was to get in covertly through the blueprints Nolan steals. Unfortunately Plan A is squashed due their covert entrance having a steel gate installed. Covering up the only weak spot for the house making the blueprints useless. Tim also brings up if they’ve added this gate who knows what else they’ve added inside? Says they have to go to Plan B which Nolan and Harper bitch to him about lol

Tim is the ONLY ONE with military experience. He knows how to quickly adapt in a hostile environment especially when a plan goes to shit. Even though its super risky it's their best option. Nolan I expect the whining from. Harper should appreciate this since she was a UC. Yeah its not ideal but bitching at him doesn't make it better. It's only ok when Lucy does it haha

I do love this scene above so much it’s underrated IMO. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like Plan B is too funny. He looks so damn exasperated by her dislike of the plan. Harper and Nolan turning around is too funny I have to say. Like we told you she wouldn’t like this plan....When really it’s just her worry coming through in spades. Her person is in potential danger and she doesn’t get to have his back. Lucy is very far away and her worry is very evident. The secondary plan puts him in more danger. Danger she can't control that from another country. So she is a little anxious. Poor thing.

Side note before we delve into the moment above. Military Tim is a flavor I like very much. Look at him. How does this man make such an ordinary outfit sexy as hell? He’s wearing the hell out of that t-shirt Ovary explosion on-top of his sexy biceps popping out of it. *fans self* Also its not shown here but his belt hanging over the edge of his pants. Wish I could've fit more gifs of Military Tim. I'm bummed I could not haha (shakes fist at tumblr's gif limit) Anyways It’s like he wants me to implode from the thirst trap that he is. Plus the 5’clock shadow lining that sexy jawline. Have mercy.

Anyways another underrated moment in this episode is Lucy telling him to be careful. It’s such a loaded moment. Look at the way she is anxiously shifting around. You can see Lucy is bouncing her knees up and down trying to get her nerves out. She not even close to processing losing Jackson right now. She can’t fathom losing her person too. Lucy needs to let him know to be careful and she’s worried. That she cares. Lucy is so very stressed for Tim. It's driving her insane she doesn’t have his back in this moment.

If Harper wasn’t there I’m sure his answer would’ve been a little different. More sincere and soft. Since Harper is Tim is doing his macho confidence thing to keep her from worrying instead. Tim is also confident in this plan even if it’s more complicated. More shock and awe. As he says. Sending Angela into pre-mature labor then intercepting her at the hospital with the antidote. Which they do pretty flawlessly. Angela dispatching of La Fiera while pregnant was pretty damn bad ass before getting away. Also I love them all pulling a gun on Max to pick up Wesley/Nolan HA Wesley and Angela's reunion in the helicopter is super sweet I love them ❤️

Fast forwarding 3 months to her having the baby, them all healing a bit more after Jackson’s death was a good call. Angela and Wes arrive home to a welcome home party. Lucy could not be cuter with her excitement over her baby basket. She made her all these organic and homeopathic cookies. Once Lucy departs Harper tells her not eat the cookies LMFAO But it was something positive for Lucy to focus on. It made her happy to assemble it for Angela. So sweet.

The episode ends with Angela talking to Jackson’s gravestone. Ugh my heart. Her updating him on everything. Saying she hopes by the time her leave is over she can face the station without him there. Killing me Angela. I love them naming their kid after him. Gut punch to the feels. Ep starts with a gut punch and ends with one. Hell of a start to an incredible season.

Side notes- non chenford

I love when Grey says he’s feeling biblical about losing Jackson. We all were Wade. So upsetting…

The intro of Elijah. He’s a solid baddie I enjoy his SL with Wesley. The things we do for those we love. Actor is solid af cause I hate him so much haha doing his job well.

Also in that post hug scene I love that Tim has a photo of Kojo on his bedside table I love this man sfm.

It is very kind of Grey to remind Nolan he’s done as a rookie. Everyone in the room is happy he’s a P2. He’s a putz but a somewhat likable one haha

I love the portion with Grey and Lucy. They got a hit on the DNA. They’re riding together to get this little shit. Lucy is still rattled and Wade tries to help her get past it. What’s great is he starts out as the one telling her she has to be professional, do her job everyone is depending on her too.

Especially Jackson’s family. Then he has a crisis of conscious right before he arrests him. His speech to that kid hurts to listen to. ‘A young man so full of life. Hurts my soul to think of him in that dark room on that cold table’ oof.

I will give it to Nolan him saving Wesley was pretty awesome. That’s his one compliment this season from me haha

Thank you as always to this incredible fandom, you amazing supporters who like, comment and reblog. Means everything. Shall see you all in 4x02 :)

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #waiting on s6 #fall rewatch #s4 #4x01 Life and Death #the rookie 4x01 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well #otp: some things matter more #otp: you did good #the rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

[gaytventhusiast]

(!Warning!- Slight hints at domestic abuse. Nothing that isn't in canon)

(Do not read if you do not want to see a critical analysis of Jmart. Some people don't want to see their comfort ship criticised and I respect that.)

Me on my first listen of magnus (aged 15): Omg omg there are gay people this is amazing. Wahoo Jmart!

Me on my second listen of magnus: Wow Martin is lowkey a bit of a secret gaslight gatekeep girloss. ICONIC. He and Jon are murder bfs :D

Me on my third listen of magnus: Hah. Martin really is kind of a bitch sometimes.

Me on my forth listen of magnus: God Martin can be so condescending wtf. I dont really ship Jmart anymore. And did he just hit Jon wtf ?!?!

Me after my 5th listen to now (Aged 18): Yikes. Martin has so many red flags oh god.

(Disclaimer: I do think these characters and their relationship are still well written and I do not dislike anyone for shipping them. However, I do think the fanon interpretation of their relationship removes how flawed Martin actually is and people don't hold him accountable nearly enough)

(Additionally this is all not to say that Jon is exempt from poor behaviour toward Martin. The way he treats Martin in s1 was dickish to say the least. However, unlike Martin this behaviour isn't perpetuated throughout the entirety of the podcast/ relationship, with Jon quickly coming to respect Martin at a similar level to himself.)

Martin Blackwood is not a kind person.

He never holds himself accountable for anything or so few times I literally don't remember them. In MAG 194- Parting, it is Jon that makes the decision to apologise to Martin. Additionally after Martin hits Jon earlier on he is never seen apologising for it, even after Jon's honestly heartbreaking line of "Thank you for not hitting me this time".

Martin also tends to get pissy at Jon for something he cannot help. Jon cannot help 'giving statements' in season 5 and yet everytime he does, Martin acts like it's some sort of attack on him. He is perfectly allowed to have the boundary of 'Don't do that around me'. However in instances where Jon accidentally does it around Martin, Martin responds with aggression, either lashing out and shouting at Jon or as previously mentioned, hitting him. These can be explained as maybe reasonable responses to high stress situations however Martin never apologises for them as discussed previously.

This also comes in the form of Martin antagonising Jon's well meaning suggestions. In S4, during the 'Gauge your eyes out' scene, Martin immediately shoots back, making it about him rather than the desperate attempts at salvation from a man who's been broken down to all hell.

There's a clear bitterness from Martin throughout. He clearly feels inferior to Jon and is trying to gain as much control over the situation as he can which often means doing all he can to control Jon.

And Martin is right at the end of S5 when he says it took 4 years of the shit they've been through to be compatible. However, what I think is more accurate is that it took 4 years of Jon being broken down and into a state of perpetual emotional vulnerability and loss of autonomy for him to be so alone that he reached out to Martin. And vice versa, Martin (being affected by the lonely and always having had an attraction to Jon) reaches out in return later in s5. Aside from that, they've not got much in common and although I do think that they at least get along as friends and colleagues, I can't really see them consistently bonding outside of the world of the fears.

Now I'd like to clarify that this isn't all to say that the way Martin acts isn't understandable, it is. Having to care for his mother for years has lead to him mothering Jon at times as well as his constant need to prioritise himself and defend himself in response to her abuse. He probably also has some left over resentment (understandably) from the way Jon used to treat him in s1. Along with a bunch of other stuff that explains his behaviour. But that doesn't mean that the way he acts sometimes isn't harmful.

Their relationship is more nuanced than I'm able to fit into a tumblr post. I might write an essay about it at some point. If there is anything i didn't mention it's either because it's been a while and I forgot, or I did not have space to fit it!

Anyways, what do you guys think about all this? TMA is one of those shows I've been a bit apprehensive to critically analyse due to the fandom but I found that Jmart is a lot more interesting than I initially thought.

(SUMMARY: Jmart is not as healthy of a relationship as the Fanon tends to show it. Martin has a lot of red flags and the two aren't all that compatible aside from their trauma)

#jmart #jonmartin #the magnus archives #magpod #magnus archives #tma podcast #critical analysis #gaytventhusing #any aggression towards me due to this post will not be tolerated

[graendoll]

I have a lot of thoughts about what's happening on 911 and they're seemingly disjointed but ultimately they've led me to a couple of conclusions about how S7 is going to end. I have theories about Buddie, Eddie, Buck, and the will.

Theories under the break if you're interested!

First of all...Tommy has been on screen for about a minute and a half and so far all he's done is act as evidence that Buck kisses men and that the men he kisses are inseparable from Eddie.

You can argue all you want, but Tommy is NOT a major part of season 7s narrative.

Second, Buck was 100% jealous of Tommy and the time spent with Eddie. Buck wanted Eddie's attention, not Tommy's, and even TOMMY knew that. Anyone who says otherwise isn't being objective. The line delivery of "My attention" is done in such a way as to emphasize the word 'my' and make it sound like a question.

Third, Eddie was jealous of Tommy at the bachelor party. No one delivers a question with that much sarcasm without a little bit of green monster motivating it.

Fourth, Eddie is miserable. He's miserable and desperate and has told himself a story about his marriage and the life he should have had that is coloring his decision making.

So theories...

I really think Tommy is likely to either end things and/or move or leave. He will not be a permanent part of Bucks life and I expect their relationship will be over by the end of the season.

Also, I think Eddie being isolated is going to happen because he's so wrapped up in his delusions and not because people are mean to him for cheating. (That theory is so junior high mean girls I can't even.) He's likely to push Buck away and frankly I really see him having another flip out. But it's possible Buck won't be available to pull him out of it this time.

Buddie is very much not going canon this season. (And I'm not convinced it will tbh, but I've been hurt a lot by other ships 😄.) I feel like the PR leaning so heavily in the Buddie direction is just PR doing its thing. I'm very convinced it's ship bait and an attempt to build buzz.

I hope I'm wrong. And if I AM...then season 8 has a lot of work to do. And honestly it depends on how Eddie's arc ends this season. If he is isolated and misses Buck (and the narrative makes it obvious that he does) then I'll reasses. But Buddie isn't happening until Eddie deals with Shannon and while this season has been moving FAST even if he works through his grief and PTSD and anger etc etc in a single episode that isn't going to magically make him realize he's in love with Buck.

Not to mention all the other steps a story needs to take to get Eddie to kissing his friend.

Also. BUCK has to be on board for Buddie to happen and while I think he could have an epiphany about his possible attraction to or maaaaybe feelings for Eddie before seasons end, I don't see him acting on it. Especially if Eddie is dissociating with a baseball bat by himself somewhere and has been pushing Buck away.

So I expect the season to end with Buck single, and Eddie in crisis. It's possible Chris is on another 'business trip' but either way I dont think Eddie will have him around either.

As for the will and Buck's place in Chris' life, I don't think the reveal will come up this season unless Eddie goes SO far off the rails he gets institutionalized and someone needs to be Chris' guardian. Which is a possibility I'm willing to consider. This could also lead to Eddie having some rapid psychological/emotional evolution and he could maybe come out of in-patient with some new ideas about his relationship with Buck. But that's a long shot.

Anyway, my expectations are very low, but I'm really excited to see what they do with Eddie's story because it's honestly heartbreaking that he's still so fucked up over his dead wife.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 theories #911 season 7 theories #911 #911 abc #911 show #buddie #buck x eddie #911 theory