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#it isn't fair but it's the truth
craycraybluejay · 3 months
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That last anon was uhhhhh very weird and mean to you. It's kinda funny how they use the word "symptoms"... Ah yes, symptoms. The one thing about illness that is completely under control of the ill. Their arguments were pretty garbage. Like saying that a cancer patient is economically abusive for requiring a lot of money for treatment.
Very weird of them, kinda think they were venting some trauma inappropriately and holding you responsible for some fucking reason.
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the funny thing is i too have trauma and yet don't attack random internet strangers over it lmao
but yeah it was so fucking out of nowhere. I *think* I can guess which post of mine ticked them off but the post was literally agreeing with them. With the fact that Cluster B Disorders are literally classified and diagnosed by unstable, toxic, and often abusive interpersonal patterns of behaviour. Same way any mental disorder is diagnosed; by a PATTERN OF BEHAVIOUR. And apparently they took that to mean that I think ADHD or something has the same symptoms as for example NPD even though I said literally the opposite. There is a reason we have these classifications and I know ALL TOO WELL what that anon was talking about regarding their trauma. But like. I'm not their therapist yk? It did actually tug at my heartstrings a bit because I do have a soft spot for rage fits out of misplaced Fear and whatnot about people not believing what happened to you and why. But like. Still deeply inappropriate. I'm not even mad at the anon really and I don't want to make fun of them either. I just hope they can get the help and support they need and maybe stay away from triggering themselves online before they're ready to calmly and accurately interpret posts and conversations about trauma-related topics.
In fact I myself stay far the fuck away from certain trauma triggers online even though I know I have a lot of light to shed on how it happens because it just isn't good for me. I will truly and legitimately block someone with even a blog colour theme that brings things back or a post even mentioning something that reminds me of what happened. Anon needs to take steps to heal with a private and stable support network and avoid triggers no matter how tempted they are to seek them out, because I know what that's like and it is actually very common with ptsd and c-ptsd. A lot of times people will consciously or subconsciously seek out triggers trying to find some sort of closure or vent their feelings; but all that giving into that urge does most of the time is make it harder to heal.
Mental illness symptoms being controllable is... a complicated subject. You CAN control them actually, at least some of them. For example I'm on the schizo spectrum. I cannot prevent hallucinations when they happen but I can have a plan of action so I don't freak anyone out or hurt anyone. Someone with NPD may have some kind of Ego Moment where they feel the need to assert that they are superior when they feel inferior but knowing about their disorder can actively decide not to do something potentially hurtful in the heat of the moment. Just like with physical illness, symptoms are manageable. Lots of physical ailments you cannot cure, but you can manage symptoms. Like the flu. You can't just. Unget the flu or "cure" it. Most of the time it passes on its own as long as you stay healthy. But what can you do? Treat and prevent symptoms. You can control symptoms and it is, unfortunately, your responsibility unless you are under someone else's care to control your own symptoms. If you are constantly ill and there is no cure, you must seek medicine if you want to feel better. If you have a mental illness and you find yourself struggling with yourself or others, you must seek support and figure out how to control and minimize the symptoms if you want to feel better. No one is obligated to be healthy but at the same time, you are responsible for your health no matter how unfair it is. Even if someone else injures you, they can pay settlement for hospital bills but YOU have to be the one to take meds and get treated. Same with mental illness. Mental illness literally cannot be your fault; it is usually genetic or from trauma. Guess what? It's still unfortunately your Responsibility to manage. A lot of people get stuck on where to place blame and expect the responsibility to go where they put the blame. But blame can go anywhere or nowhere and you will still be responsible for fixing what is wrong. The fact that I anger easy is not my FAULT. But it IS my responsibility to find safe and healthy ways to deal with that anger. Just because I'm not the one who made me angry does not give me the right to hit someone or start screaming my head off. Anyone who places too much weight on blame and treats symptoms as inevitable and unchangeable is liable to neglecting their responsibility to care for themselves.
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me when episode 7 season 4 of lego monkie kid
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news4dzhozhar · 15 days
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sunflowerdigs · 1 year
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People being touchy about Roman potentially fucking Mencken are just...I don't get it. Because literally everyone around Roman except Shiv is aiding and abetting him in becoming president. And Matsson - Matsson is a technocrat who talks about his workers like they're slaves. He and Roman were never going to be your cutesy little harmless OTP, laying people off on their anniversary for fun. Like...you're falling for the window dressing. There is no "the fascist" on Succession because everyone seems to think they benefit from what Mencken is bringing to the table as the potential leader of the United States. And even Shiv didn't really care whether or not they kept Ravenhead. Oh, he puts Shiv and Tom off their lunch, but Tom is happy to keep the nazi on board as long as he brings in ratings and keeps Tom in power.
But, like...keep clinging to that false sense of morality about the terrible rich people show, I guess? This is where it was always going. These people have worn their funny little masks for long enough - s4 is the big reveal. Mencken or no Mencken, the mentally of the billionaire elite always leans towards fascism because fascism is the only way that they can maintain complete control of the populace and hold onto their own wealth.
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franeridan · 7 months
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ace's death might be the biggest thing fans regularly retcon in op fanworks and that's probably because ace is one of the most loved characters in the whole series but i was thinking that a huge part of why people can't just accept that it was a necessary evil and move on is that ace died without ever knowing sabo was alive and sabo got his memories back only after it was too late to do anything about them re: ace. by people I mean me. I find that unacceptable.
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rawliverandgoronspice · 11 months
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As a fic writer, I actually... like that gerudos have messy gender problems which make them severly imperfect in many aspects?
Like not to ignore how problematic it all is originally, where it comes from and how we're supposed to look at it (it's bad) --but, like with Ganondorf, I love gerudos when they are a little ungood about a lot of things, and examine the ramifications and how to give them grace and humanity in spite of the sexism targeted at them, and the sexism they beam out into the world as well as a reply; not as endorsement, but as a way to examine how damaging gender can be from multiple conflicting angles.
Also, yeah. Yeah, reproduction gets super weird. It can be fetishization from the writers' part (and it very well may be, and it is probablyyy alsooo), and/or (hopefully just or)... it can be its own extremely fucked up can of worms they have to live through and live with and reclaim and survive.
I don't know, just to put out there that the (rightful and normal) response to the canon reality that "gerudo gender stuff is weird and uncomfy" can *absolutely* be to redefine their gender and make them more inclusive as opposed to hylian rigidity (that isn't that rigid if I'm being honest), but it can also be to vivisect what sort of flawed people would be molded by this cruel and rigid understanding of reproduction and gender carved out of hurt, external projection, messy compromises and vindictive traditions.
I don't know, maybe I'm biased, but I don't always feel super onboard with the urge I sometime see to smooth out the flaws of fictional (or real) cultures to prove they deserve salvation. I don't know, no culture should need to prove itself perfect (according to external moral judgements) to avoid cultural genocide (I feel like we're almost threading the Ganondorf Redemption grounds again in a way?). Sometimes you're little gremlins and you suck and you hurt each other and yourself and the world, and you still deserve empathy and humanity because you, like... exist.
Not that it's wrong to want to invest into alternate gender understanding of the gerudos, not at all! Quite the contrary, I ADORE to see all the ways people make the weird rules or that strange culture their own. It's just one of the many ways to navigate this; every single one fascinating in its own right.
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tenacquity · 9 months
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@howthesleeplesswander dropped a truth bomb last night:
"Ryuu has those three [K.azu.ma/van Z.iek.s/Sh.olm.es] so insanely whipped and i'm so proud of him; that's an absurd amount of power"
and i've not stopped thinking about it since
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kyliaquilor · 11 months
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You know a biography of a controversial someone is probably something approaching fair when there’s 1 or 2 star reviews saying the book is “too kind to this monster” and 1 or 2 star reviews saying “the author clearly just hated X”
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transboykirito · 1 year
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I'm gonna kill those who said that to you istg. They seriously have nothing better to do do they.
You don't deserve to feel stupid and annoying. Because you're not. Those people are the annoying assholes who won't leave you alone. And I'm sorry. So sorry people are treating you like that.
You don't deserve all this. Again I have never found you annoying. And neither have many others too. Even if you do take a break from posting. I'll support you. And I have the notifs on ready to welcome you when you want to come back.
it's just...these ones felt so much more personal and detailed that it's really making me think there's truth to them. i can ignore the others with "they don't know what they're talking about they're just trying to be assholes" but just... it's not fair. it's not fair at all. why do i have to defend myself over and over again from this shit. why am i being called annoying and a waste of oxygen and being told that my friends all want me dead. why do i have to have witty comebacks or long responses begging for people to please just leave me alone. it isn't fair and i hate feeling like i just have a target on my back that i need to defend myself from. it feels so fucking cold and so isolating and i am so so so highly aware that people in this fandom and people i love find me annoying and overwhelming and too difficult to love and i am so aware of that and i don't want to be reminded of it every fucking day.
i write the cute fluff, i get told i'm copying. i write things from my heart about deeply personal topics, i get told i've unlovable and unwanted and that my favourite person regrets meeting me and wants me dead. i can't win. and i shouldn't have to be defending myself from this like this.
i love sao. i love sharing my thoughts and my dumb shitposts and my crappy edits and my writing that is genuinely pieces of my soul. i love having a community that for once feels so welcoming and fun. it just... hurts to be reminded that march 2021 should have worked, and people wish it did.
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bybdolan · 2 years
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where is that post about me converting into a cupcake swiftie. It's relevant again and I can't find it.
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makiiato · 2 years
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oh fuck my birthday was over a month ago and i never updated my age in my bio
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lusciousautumn · 4 months
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headofthedemonn · 6 months
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I woke up once again in a place that was foreign to me this world was void of vibrant light the sky blotted by dark clouds plunged the world in near absolute darkness everything was grey all the time now night was fast approaching and I have not seen the pale light of the moon in a long time because the darkness is never ending. I feel the strain in my eyes the pulse of fire in my head quickly spreads throughout my body I can hear in the distance a massive storm coming I know I have to move but I can't bring myself to do it everyday it feels as though my body weighs a thousand pounds I want to move I say over and over get up move but still I lay there in the dark I lose track of time too easily and I don't move for hours just sitting up drains me because of the pain taking it's toll. I still can't eat the moment I try to ingest anything my body rejects it increasing the already present pain so I stop trying once again. The voice told me to continue north he only guides me and says nothing more I gather myself after what felt like hours of expressionless crying streams of cold water falling from my eyes but despite the pain to the voice I listened walking through the desolation there is no one still the landscape is a grim husk of it's former beauty humanity was gone yet somehow I was still here the only other things that existed were the demons constantly on the hunt for blood and souls their howling carried by the frigid piercing wind still I pressed on the storm approaching faster now lightning strikes without ceasing I see something I can't believe I see a man standing in the midst of the road he doesn't move he extends his hand and remains still the pain in my body slowly dissipates I've never seen this man before with dark hair skin and bright orange hues in his eyes as I got closer and saw his face I still could not recognize him but I didn't care his eyes told me of the place where I don't feel pain I don't have to cry anymore the my family that I lost is waiting for me the friend I lost was there waiting for me we could be free we could be happy. Before I could take his hand lightning struck between us the man looked towards the sky with great anger the voice came back telling me to run from the dark figure continue north while you can the figure who I now realized was not human took hold of me I couldn't fight him off in my heart I was tired of fighting I accepted I was dying. The voice returned and simply said no I was alone again the figure was gone I asked over and over why didn't I die? The voice said you must continue go north I don't know if I can do it the voice reassures me saying I can but I must continue north I gathered myself and journeyed on through the lighting and rain the pain in my body was worse now but for some reason this voice is trying to guide me protect me if I can't find a reason to keep going I can't keep going.
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montanabohemian · 8 months
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god there are some really dumb takes about the WGA/SAG strike on this fucking hellsite. at least on twitter i can follow a bunch of writers who are in it and will slap you down with whatever fucking nonsense you decide to spew. whereas a bunch of bullshit gets spread by fucking idiot teenagers on this website and nobody puts them in check. or they get mad if you do.
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giffingthingsss · 8 months
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The story's old, we know it well About a wretched, evil spell
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atrayo · 8 months
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Channeled Angelic Wisdom of the Jewels of Truth Series on the Love of God, Self-Love, & Equality Isn't Always Fair
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Hello All,
I'm just posting at the tail end of this month of August. Hurricane Idalia just passed my region of Florida via the Gulf of Mexico yesterday or so. (i.e. I'm in Sarasota) So this has been a weird week breaking up my routine which is expected for Floridians during an impending hurricane strike. I'm all right thankfully.
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In other news, I'm happy to Announce The Spirit University campus is now stocking my paperback editions (i.e. all 3  volumes)  of the Jewels of Truth series of books. The books are located over in their lobby on their bookstore shelf. The Spirit University is physically located at 373 Braden Ave, Sarasota, Florida, 34243. 
Now for the good stuff, today's trio of channeled angelic Jewels of Truth statements are on the topics of the Love of God, Self-Love, and Equality Isn't Always Fair. 
The first statement is Short or abbreviated in size which is for how I preface it for social media attention spans. The 2nd statement on Self-Love is self-explanatory by the angel in caring for one's psychological development versus roasting yourself over the spit. The 3rd and final statement is a lengthy exploration of how equality and its implementations within a society runs into complications. (citing the example of Affirmative Action in America briefly.)
Now without a further adieu let's explore these channeled angelic spiritual wisdom statements with the inquiry they deserve. Amen. 
Love of God:
3246) Wherever there is the Love of God. Angels will always be present upon any world of the cosmos. Amen.  ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
Self-Love:
3210) For all the tribulations of this world and the earth therein are many graces left unspoken. One of which is of genuine importance which is a sustaining Self-Love by an individual person at large. As in a personal compassionate stance in all earnestness available. 
All Self-Love is a pivotal tenderness of the lesser ego mindset of your psyche. To continue the healing process from when this aggravated world triggers a negative response from you. Rather than just relying on external cherished people in your life such as lovers, friends, relatives, and even strangers. To bring to you the necessary supply of comforting compassion you may require at any given personal interval. 
This soon can become a personalized style of coping by self-care keeping your confidence private and empowered when the moments of counseling by others have all been spent already. This will also include Forgiveness when you are part of the circle of malcontent having aggrieved others with your mistakes. Whether these mistakes of yours are literal or created falsely by your inner critical ego mindset. Forgiveness is the medicine of God for the soul within us all. 
It takes great personal courage and sincerity to offer yourself the first dose of forgiveness before extending it to anyone else. Since personal accountability of taking a moral inventory of what went wrong on your end and by the hapless errors of any others in question along the way. Leaving aside the blame game of the ego finding fault elsewhere except what your contributions may have been with good or selfish intentions overall. 
When the majority of recriminations have been handled nearly then the self-care of loving yourself to a fuller capacity can begin anew. All Self-Love requires a steady heart and mind to implement with personal accountability to do better here and now and much later onward. Not just to play a fool's game of favoritism with other people's positive sympathy for your needs in seeking sympathy by the ego. 
To actually begin the caring internalized process of your own sacred heart spiritually guided by the truth that is holistic and inclusively compassionate for the circle of life. To evolve your divinity upon this chaotic world even when everyone else is angry to the point of committing tragedies. Very few people will understand what you are attempting to accomplish overall. So seeking their approval by consent in advance may very well end up poorly on your behalf. 
Such young or otherwise immature spirits can't see the merit in it until they have suffered greatly to the point of near ruin. Many find comfort in being bitter and angry as their first reaction without taking stock of the wider spiritual and psychological implications at hand in due time. When angry backfires it easily turns into self-loathing and god-awful depressive states of being dead inside. 
Loving yourself isn't about your sexuality, but your reunion with your blessed and great relationship with God foremost. If you are indeed well keeled as in being a balanced individual upon the world especially when chaos strikes. You'll be the voice of reason in the room when all others are screaming bloody murder. Such a state of Being Divine takes courage and responsibility when enacted with humility without seeking false praise from fickle people indeed. Amen.  ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
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Equality Isn't Always Fair:
3236) We may remark that upon the many things of note of the human condition. Equality is a beautiful archetype when applicable, however a difficult topic to wrestle with its proper scope of implementation. What is removed from one set of factors is added elsewhere regardless of the original intent. To serve one group of people effectively is to potentially injure another demographic of people elsewhere without careful caveats as to the consequences in net sum. 
To serve one group of people as a living cultural engagement must be practical and lead to outcomes based on an inclusive justice for all concerned. However, unintended consequences of social engineering will always creep into the argument whether the contrasting resistance is based on a valiant truth or propaganda based on shallow lying. 
Theoretical models will give way to observable conundrums when the philosophical treatise doesn't square by a balanced and fair approach. This is where branching alternative solutions may appear but most only offer relativistic solutions on a granular basis. Not just one outline of do's and don'ts must be instilled but an entire battery lumped together hoping that the maze leads to a righteous outcome for all concerned. 
Here is where what feels good as a so-called valid course of action isn't the simplest system to implement. Especially when the natural ecological world is involved in grappling with the needs of Mother Nature versus those of humanity at large. For instance, public parks with clear-cut grassy ways that are manicured to near perfection by municipalities the world over. Where families, friends, and strangers can commune with the natural world in great peace and merriment. 
Although such altruistic public spaces are ideal for the betterment of the human condition. They can introduce abhorrent foreign plants as shrubs, trees, and flowering bushes over time. Invasive species let alone domestic pets are abandoned here on a frequent basis by well-meaning former pet owners. The natural ecological biosphere does best where very little to no human interference is ever present. The constant mowing of the grassy plains is a disturbance to the natural world. Let alone the diesel gas-powered sound pollution it creates along the way. 
Better still is to have more State or National Parks closer to the urban spheres where applicable. Insofar that wildlife spilling over doesn't become a nuisance distraction for suburbs and other outlying areas overall. Such rugged State and National Parks are more conducive to the natural regional ecology rather than finely curated municipal city parks ecologically speaking. 
Where municipalities are a staple for the urban towards-suburban ratio of real estate needs coupled with infrastructure for the human condition. These are antithetical to wildlife and ecological flora and fauna to co-exist with humanity en masse. A gradual corridor is required for a fair transition point between the natural world and the human-engineered environs to be placed for optimal co-existence. 
Equality is an off-shoot of fairness that has its spiritual roots within compassionate kindness that is also with the holy nature of God himself. Equality when applied must be holistically coupled to uniformity or inherent imbalances will otherwise prevail. By undercutting the good nature on the one hand with the unintended consequences on the other hand. This leads to shallow results overall with a poison pill as the end effect. 
Another example is the racially ushered noble efforts of Affirmative Action by the Americans. A sociological governance model turned into public policy that ultimately was the best efforts turned into a nightmare by undercutting generations of shill politicians. 
To serve the needs of Afro-Americans and many other racial minority groups to have an even stab at the American Dream of social upward mobility. A great equalizer was intended to better society collectively however, the bigoted powers that be wanted the unfair status quo instead. What resulted was a temporary success, especially for scholastic higher education pursuits for a little over a generational time of 30+ years in America. 
Thus we the Angelic Host of the Heavens grimaced seeing the political shenanigans of so-called Christian servants serving the overall flock. With considerable efforts of making metaphorical lemonade for the populations of minorities upon America, we made the best of half-cocked circumstances as your collective guardian angels. 
To serve the sincere needs as it stands for Afro-Americans and other Indigenous Americans in particular as our brethren and sisterly family as souls with God. With the prayers of all concerned we maximized the Will of God perfect as it stands forever with a noble cultural stab at social justice in America. To have no bias, unlike the Caucasian discriminatory powerful elites of an entire nation. To upend a super-majority Anglo-Saxony fervor that has lasted for over a century was no easy feat by us who are the angelic fates guiding humanity to the promised land of God(dess) in Heaven. 
To preserve the needs of the many by the restraints of the few required a supernatural herculean effort. To pinch the Anglo-Saxony hegemony in the bud was no easy feat. Whether dealing with Christian Protestants and Roman Catholics alike to not turn upside down their idealism for the sake of petty gains over minority population controls. To begin healing a many centuries-long infamy by their ancestor's ancestors generations for free enslaved labor. Reparations as a form of equal social justice for a travesty that began long ago and when society matured sufficiently. Where the brave of heart collectively dared to care enough to love one another as Christos required of them as a Son of God. 
A terrible cost was placed on the backs of those who could least afford it to maintain such a noble gesture that was undercut by the powers of men that be in political authority. So the youth of a discriminatory nation trusted that they and their children's, children could finally succeed. This was true for only a while since the aperture of change can only be kept open for the maw of evil-doers who wouldn't seek to keep such an Affirmative Action public policy ongoing. 
To mobilize an entire generation of disenfranchised minority groups was no easy feat. But, the gap of upward mobility supported by the heavens took hold for a few decades until it did not upon this contemporary era of the 2020s  A.D. Discrimination of any kind that serves the least at the expense of the many is a rot best cut out at its source. Lest it spreads like gangrene and consumes the entire limb of a society at large. 
To care to the point that it hurts is to be like the heavenly angels in paradise for our spiritual hearts are tied to your human fates. Not alone as your brotherly and sisterly keepers ordained by the Will of God(dess). But, as also your spiritual family of another metaphysical kind an extra batch of unforeseen ancestors by means of the Macro Soul of God united in all lifeforms that Infinity can afford to offer Creation. We the angelic host care because you are our surrogate children through God him, her, and itself. We help raise you like sibling parental figures from on high and from afar and intimately to your most native breath of life. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.
Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 28 plus years of his life to the pursuit of clairaudient-inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic Heavenly host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also utilizes a unique channeled angelic divination method called the Multi-Deck Divination System. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 18 years plus online. You're welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.
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