#and in some ways sooner than that

[craycraybluejay]

That last anon was uhhhhh very weird and mean to you. It's kinda funny how they use the word "symptoms"... Ah yes, symptoms. The one thing about illness that is completely under control of the ill. Their arguments were pretty garbage. Like saying that a cancer patient is economically abusive for requiring a lot of money for treatment.

Very weird of them, kinda think they were venting some trauma inappropriately and holding you responsible for some fucking reason.

-🦫

the funny thing is i too have trauma and yet don't attack random internet strangers over it lmao

but yeah it was so fucking out of nowhere. I *think* I can guess which post of mine ticked them off but the post was literally agreeing with them. With the fact that Cluster B Disorders are literally classified and diagnosed by unstable, toxic, and often abusive interpersonal patterns of behaviour. Same way any mental disorder is diagnosed; by a PATTERN OF BEHAVIOUR. And apparently they took that to mean that I think ADHD or something has the same symptoms as for example NPD even though I said literally the opposite. There is a reason we have these classifications and I know ALL TOO WELL what that anon was talking about regarding their trauma. But like. I'm not their therapist yk? It did actually tug at my heartstrings a bit because I do have a soft spot for rage fits out of misplaced Fear and whatnot about people not believing what happened to you and why. But like. Still deeply inappropriate. I'm not even mad at the anon really and I don't want to make fun of them either. I just hope they can get the help and support they need and maybe stay away from triggering themselves online before they're ready to calmly and accurately interpret posts and conversations about trauma-related topics.

In fact I myself stay far the fuck away from certain trauma triggers online even though I know I have a lot of light to shed on how it happens because it just isn't good for me. I will truly and legitimately block someone with even a blog colour theme that brings things back or a post even mentioning something that reminds me of what happened. Anon needs to take steps to heal with a private and stable support network and avoid triggers no matter how tempted they are to seek them out, because I know what that's like and it is actually very common with ptsd and c-ptsd. A lot of times people will consciously or subconsciously seek out triggers trying to find some sort of closure or vent their feelings; but all that giving into that urge does most of the time is make it harder to heal.

Mental illness symptoms being controllable is... a complicated subject. You CAN control them actually, at least some of them. For example I'm on the schizo spectrum. I cannot prevent hallucinations when they happen but I can have a plan of action so I don't freak anyone out or hurt anyone. Someone with NPD may have some kind of Ego Moment where they feel the need to assert that they are superior when they feel inferior but knowing about their disorder can actively decide not to do something potentially hurtful in the heat of the moment. Just like with physical illness, symptoms are manageable. Lots of physical ailments you cannot cure, but you can manage symptoms. Like the flu. You can't just. Unget the flu or "cure" it. Most of the time it passes on its own as long as you stay healthy. But what can you do? Treat and prevent symptoms. You can control symptoms and it is, unfortunately, your responsibility unless you are under someone else's care to control your own symptoms. If you are constantly ill and there is no cure, you must seek medicine if you want to feel better. If you have a mental illness and you find yourself struggling with yourself or others, you must seek support and figure out how to control and minimize the symptoms if you want to feel better. No one is obligated to be healthy but at the same time, you are responsible for your health no matter how unfair it is. Even if someone else injures you, they can pay settlement for hospital bills but YOU have to be the one to take meds and get treated. Same with mental illness. Mental illness literally cannot be your fault; it is usually genetic or from trauma. Guess what? It's still unfortunately your Responsibility to manage. A lot of people get stuck on where to place blame and expect the responsibility to go where they put the blame. But blame can go anywhere or nowhere and you will still be responsible for fixing what is wrong. The fact that I anger easy is not my FAULT. But it IS my responsibility to find safe and healthy ways to deal with that anger. Just because I'm not the one who made me angry does not give me the right to hit someone or start screaming my head off. Anyone who places too much weight on blame and treats symptoms as inevitable and unchangeable is liable to neglecting their responsibility to care for themselves.

#symptoms is specifically the one thing in illness you CAN control anon #usually not without help #and not ALL symptoms can be controlled-- specifically internal ones #i.e: you cannot control the internal symptom of envy but you can control the external symptom of breaking someone's things in a fit of rage #anon response #anyway #i hope my prev anon gets well needed support and takes some time off the web #and i hope that we all can take a little more responsibility #there are many things in life that are not our fault that we are responsible for #your life itself is not your fault and you are responsible for it once you reach age of majority #and in some ways sooner than that #your eating disorder because you were bullied? not your fault whatsoever #you are STILL responsible for getting help though #it isn't fair but it's the truth #i think a lot of people need to go back to the basics; responsibility; self-control; politeness; respect #we don't just need to teach this to children. we need for everyone to be taught again and again basic skills for how to interact with #with yourself and relationships and larger society

[kenobion]

Andrew Garfield at RSIFF 2023

#finally something new to gif! #andrew garfield #my gifs #I need to set aside some time to watch this whole video cause it's nearly an hour long #I couldn't resist giffing something from it sooner than that though #I've missed seeing his gestures and his little expressions and the way you can see his thought process occurring #he's the prettiest person on the earth to me #I miss hearing his voice too #his overall existence makes me more relaxed and more happy #I love him your honor

[chikahoshi]

I commissioned @tikklil from Twitter/Instagram again to draw 42 Miles/42 Gwen based off @bloody-writing's fic Tonight You Belong To Me. This fic is the reason why I ship them so hard, so I think it's only fitting that I commission fanart inspired by this fic as a thank you. Hopefully, I can do some more commissions based on this fic because there are scenes that I really think is worth seeing illustrated. So fingers crossed. (As a disclaimer, I did get permission to post the commission here.)

#miles x gwen #gwiles #ghostprowler #tempted to tag ghostflower too...but i'm going to hold off from doing so #also...this isn't 100% strictly faithful to the fic... #some of this was due to my fault for not being more prepared to present the details to the artist #some of this I just thought it would be better to change some minor details... #anyways if anyone saw my post where i said i was going to take a break from commissions #depending on how my personal life goes that break might be a lot smaller than i thought it would be... #but yeah...I'm just waiting to see how that goes and if things go the way i hope it will be #then for sure you'll see some more commissions a lot sooner than i had expected :) #i will give a hint though that the next commission idea is going back to 1610 miles and 65 gwen...there's been an idea that's been stuck in #my head for a few months and i really want to see that come to life #it makes me happy thinking about so i hope it will be the same for others too

[moonsorchid]

Why Love Between Fairy and Devil is more than a drama for me

I think one of the reasons I am so obsessed with LBFAD is that it is incredibly healing for me. I have some mental health issues, mainly traumas from a past relationship and from my professional life, which have made me numb. For years I can barely feel joy or sadness or any other emotion, apart from fear and anger, cursed to be perpetually in a fight or flight mode.

Seeing DFQC being devoid of emotions is so relatable. Well not in the villainous sense it is depicted in the show, but if my feelings were a tree, it would be cold and in decay.

Just like Xiao Lanhua revived his emotional root, this show has revived my feelings as well. I fell in love, I laughed, I cried, I empathized with their pain and sacrifice.

Also, I love fantasy and escapism, I love watching movies, tv shows and reading books. I am a fan of LOTR, Star Wars, Harry Potter, MCU, but the past few years I could barely watch or read anything. I lost focus and nothing could help me escape reality or use my imagination and creativity. This is the only show which has managed to have such a healing effect on me and I can't move on. I don't know if it is due to the production, the story, the characters, the worldbuilding, the acting, (Dylan's amazing performance *cough cough* ). I am guessing it's a combination of all the above.

If someone told me a year ago that I would be addicted to a cdrama, and I would be watching multiple cdramas after that, I wouldn't believe it. I didn't even know they existed. And now a year later, a show about a fairy and a supposed devil (if only devils were such puppies like him), has rekindled parts of me I thought were gone forever. And the best thing is that I can finally watch and read (maybe even write) stories again. I thought I had lost my ability to escape in them for good.

#i hope you enjoyed my ted talk #i don't know why i am sharing this #but i felt i needed to tell the world for some reason #i try not to ignore my feelings these days or block them #so yeah i felt i wanted to write this and share it here #maybe others have felt the same way i don't know #but i do wish i had discovered LBFAD sooner #better late than never #also i have to say i absolutely love the fandom here on tumblr #the posts make my day and make me smile so much #love between fairy and devil #lbfad #thoughts #cdrama #mine

[kitocrystal]

Guess who just read this chapter and felt nauseous the whole time?

Me!

#kitos art #fanart #boris #mickey mouse #babtqftim #bendy and boris the quest for the ink machine #babtim #babitim #bendy and boris in the inky mystery #inky mystery #I feel like I’m missing something #im posting again way sooner than I expected #I didn’t wanna draw in the details #so have green slime ooze #mickey DOES NOT deserve all the bullcrap he’s been suffering through since some chapters ago #and the poor pup! #he’s gonna blame himself for it! #inky mystery chapter 107 spoilers #inky mystery spoilers #spoilers #violence cw

[saint-bestial]

i hope sleep token does unmask at wembley only to have another mask on underneath so everyone speculating on an official face reveal shrivels up from their own sodium content.

#sleep token #they have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever #plus it would be a sick way for them to debut new masks... 👀 #but yeah i have no clue where you guys got this idea from #idk i feel like they'd end the band sooner than they'd unmask #i'm sick of people acting like they HAVE to do it at some point #we aren't entitled to any more information than they choose to provide #if you're really that concerned about how they look that information is very much readily available so go to google and then shut up #but honestly if that's something you care that much about maybe you're in the wrong fandom

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[szampers]

Personal notes from before the szpd epiphany nr. 1: on maintaining online correspondences. More info in tags

sometimes I want to be alone. Arguably way too often. A break from online interaction too, that at its core is people interaction too.

Connection, in whatever kind of form, is far better than total isolation. The benefits outweigh the bad, though that too isn't pleasant to endure. I keep thinking about returning to my original state of isolation.

Going off for a break is fine. But what if you don't come back? they could be on my mind for the entire duration, yet I don't reply to them or share whatever it is that I've been up to. It's probably the maintenance which is the hardest part.

#this is me being conflicted about keeping correspondences with online friends. #i had a certain rigid mentality of either i ditch them entirely or i keep interacting witht them at the expense of myself #it was rather hard for me to tell them i needed space for myself in a way that'd have them understand #good thing we have moved past that now !! a friend told me he wanted to take some distance off his phone and i co opted that #thing is. he didn't stick with it. but i did !! #the first few days i was off discord i felt awful as i wasn't used to being alone anymore. i was confronted with how empty my life was #more than anything i was forced to recognize how much I'd been using discord as a means of escapism. and how much i was consumed by it #that definitely did distract me from issues i should've tackled head on sooner. i did find out about szpd only after i took distance #made a few other epiphanies so it's all well worth it #rambling #schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

i fucking hate 'do it scared' and every single variation of it that i've seen just gets worse. bets on how long it'll take before people go full mask off and add on 'do it in excruciating pain' lol

#moogletalks #ableism cw #disabilitag #if you try to invoke pancakes-and-waffles i am destroying you with my eyebeams #'well obviously if you're disabled/mentally ill nobody's talking to *you--'* destroying you with my eyebeams #'but it helps some people--' destroying you with my eyebeams #'well if you *are* disabled then you'll never get better if you don't--' DESTROYING YOU WITH MY EYEBEAMS #and quite fucking frankly i think it's something that is a whole lot more damaging to the people who are '''helped''' by it than you think #in a similar vein to 'cope with executive dysfunction and procrastination by intentionally inducing a stress response!!!' #AND people who do that--especially if they are in fact disabled and trying to power through it--WILL lash out at disableds sooner or later #it happens every single time! #and even if they don't do it directly they are still surrounding the disabled people around them with toxic background ableism radiation #in the same way it is damaging to be surrounded by people constantly calling themselves and their bodies disgusting for being fat #You are Not Immune to Bullshit Fake-Deep ~Inspirational~ Facebook Motivational Posters. Stop It

[cats-in-the-clouds]

idk if this has any merit to it so correct me if i’ve got the wrong idea but a thing i’ve been thinking lately is that the biblical dichotomy between jew and gentile (which new testament scripture teaches is no more) is sort of reborn in the modern dichotomy between like.,,, cradle catholic and random atheist/agnostic

point being, God will reach out to everyone. even those who aren’t doing all the little traditional rituals right, even those who don’t know what they’re doing, even those who just walked in out of nowhere. so the former need to remember to have humility and compassion for others who are trying their best to seek truth.

this is not to say the former are doing anything wrong by going through all those motions- of course not! and of course those motions aren’t insignificant; they’ve got so much history and tradition behind them. but ultimately they aren’t what save us. the foreign gentile who just showed up one day is baptized and saved. the deathbed convert is baptized and saved. funny how that is

the devout jewish people of the scriptures and the modern day hardcore tradcaths are neither better nor worse than other people- they are the people fortunate enough to be born in the ‘right’ environment, so encountering Christ and being saved will be much easier for them. but this also means they have a responsibility to do more.

and if they go haywire in the way they behave the consequences will be so much worse because of what they’re supposed to be representing (and i’m sure we all know that biblically the jewish people have caused lots of their own problems and presently. well. a lot of catholics Suck™️. we are all that person sometimes. often. usually)

#does this make sense? #frankly i find this a helpful way of thinking because it’s a lot easier to get more out of scripture #when you understand that yeah everyone causing major problems and being stuck up in the name of holiness? #that’s me. that’s us. scripture calls all of us to wake up and repent #this is what i’ve always felt the whole ‘chosen people/royal priesthood’ thing meant #not that they alone shall be saved #but that the circumstances of the birth mean they have a unique responsibility to proclaim God’s word to the nation #sometimes i see hardcore tradcaths belittle others for like. wearing Pants as a Woman #or not having every saint’s feast day memorized or receiving the eucharist on the hands #and i’m like hm this feels eerily similar to jewish leaders in the bible having a tonnnn of little rules for a purpose i can’t quite get #now of course. this isn’t to say it’s all meaningless #i’m sure there are good reasons #at the same time. wow ritual law is wild sometimes #sorry i can’t take anyone seriously who acts like you should have a spouse sooner than you have a cell phone lol #i mean stay blessed. i hope tradcaths enjoy their lives. good for them. but some of them do b Nasty sometimes

[itskeej]

bro why you worry about maining someone? like I play a different person in r6s depending on what I feel like / the map / the location of site. actually when I first started playing the game all I would use is the random button! like unless ur in comp it really doesn't matter. one of the only reasons why I don't do random these days is because the button isn't in standard only qp. just like... click someone- except for mira or clash. banned.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT i've actually got like... little to no gameplay experience playing r6, most of my knowledge comes from watching other people play. I've played maybe about 2 hours worth of actual matches tops :P

after going through enough fps games with characters that have unique abilities/guns, i eventually figured out i learn a game best if i just pick a character and try to learn just them until i'm comfortable with their utility enough that im not trying to learn the maps, the plant spots, etc etc while also fighting learning my own ability and guns. x_x

I ALSO USUALLY JUST PLAY WHOEVER I WANT TO IN GAMES, apex i do that a lot, but i only really started to learn once i told myself "okay, i'm gonna just pick ONE character to play", and so i'd only play mirage until i felt comfortable in the battle royal format. now, i play a variety of legends! >:)

i do get you though, it's not like... a giant worry, starting is just hard for me LMAOOOOO. the r6 gameplay loop is so foreign to me and these kinds of learning curves i find i get over the fastest if character choice isn't an aspect im fighting against too, if that all makes any sense?

#keej answers #hrgnm #tumblr ask #wish i learned this sooner... i would have started enjoying valorant SO MUCH FASTER omfg #AND AGAIN IM LIKE basically a new player experience-wise... havent even touched like half the operators lol #still trying to find what i like >_> #long post. #SORRY FOR THE ESSAY AHAKJFHDSJK I DIDNT MEAN FOR THIS TO BE SO LONG but also i think i cant explain my brain in less words #IF IM GOING ABOUT THIS THE WRONG WAY i appreciate suggestions because mannn i know r6 is different than like.... #overwatch or apex so maybe the strat is to just try shit and yolo it? idk. i find having some familiarity helps me a lot #so thats why im on the hunt for a main

[pauking5]

i was joking i'm not done yapping. i need to yell about this somewhere.

the naozumi hiyama fic is coming along well and you may or may not have it sooner than you think 😉 prepare for racing extravaganza and the competition world of rallying ✨

okay, now i'm done spoiling my wips i will go work on them and zip it 🤐

#naozumi hiyama #as a racing fan myself this was a fun one to work on #i can't wait for you to finally get it since i know you've been waiting for it for some time #overdrive mackenyu is coming your way sooner than you think

[tswwwit]

Has fam!Bill ever landed on a talk show or got interviewed, or has someone atleast made a movie/series/novel about him or his life with dipper?

I'd think that Dipper tries to keep Bill out of the spotlight. Partly so it doesn't feed his enormous ego any further - and partly so Bill doesn't try starting a cult. For like, the millionth time. He's a little too persuasive when he gets public attention.

There also exists a case - probably many decades along, once Dipper's out of his first life - where there is a movie/series/novel.... about Dipper.

Of course Bill's there. You can hardly have a story about Dipper Pines without at least vaguely addressing the demonic power subject - but in this one, Bill's cast as sort of a demonic sidekick. Unable to tempt the righteous Dipper Pines from his heroic cause. Bumbling, and awkward.

Used for comedic effect.

You bet your ass Bill's absolutely fuming about it.

#answers #In later decades it becomes very rare to find copies #Partly because it wasn't a very good movie #Too bad to even be funny #Didn't sell well and wasn't even pirated much #And partly because there's a lot of murders associated with watching it #One of those urban myths #Even *Dipper's* offended by the portrayal of Bill #Thankfully Bill gets to correct the damage done to his public image sooner rather than later #There are likely other much better portrayals of Bill and/or the state of their relationship #That one just sticks out as a sort point for Bill #But overall he's *also* huffy because a LOT of them cast Dipper as some kind of 'hero' #Like c'mon!! They BOTH wouldn't be in this situation if Dipper Pines hadn't messed up horribly #To which Dipper points out that in the demon realm HE'S always the sidekick so deal with it AND #BILL also messed up horribly or HE wouldn't be here #It's something to bicker about #Bill might get more pissy about it than Dipper but they both mock the movies #It's fun to drag them and also fun to revisit old arguments in a very married couple way

[caffeinatedopossum]

I honestly don't think I was capable of fully understanding how dangerous restricting was until after I had been in recovery for like 8 months already. And I sadly really mean that. I worry about you guys :((

#i dont mean this in a condescending way i mean this in a i literally had brain damage from my ed way #if you dont care if you die or not thats one thing. but believe me when i tell you this: #your ed will not kill you fast. it will take 10+ years of physical and psychological torture. and yes i mean torture thats not exaggeratio #and if you decide in ten years that its not worth and you want to recover thats awesome of course #but theres a high likelihood of irreversible damage at that point #it doesnt take a lot to make your body sick #not nearly as much as i think you guys think #the things you're sacrificing are not under your control. you didnt choose to be sick and you do deserve to be helped #we all make it out one way or another #i just hope you guys make it out sooner than i did #because no one deserves that and i mean it. not even me #the things your ed can do to you arent even talked about. not in media not even in a lot of anorexia forums #not even by the doctors that treat them #after a few years of restricting even if you havent lost weight your body is damaged #your brain is damaged. a lot of the damage is reversible but some of it inevitably wont be #idk i know fear mongering isnt going to help any of you #i just get really mad that there arent better resources and treatments for us out there #i may be just one person but i mean this with all of my heart #i hope you find better days and health and carefree mornings and nights without the shroud of obsessive thoughts #and warmth and love and the mental clarity and strength to keep fighting #you all mean so much to me #and this blog will always be a safe space for people struggling with eds wether they want to recover or not #please take care of yourselves

[canyourlawnmowerdothis]

my little sister was talking to me about having some type of pain in her legs and wishing there was a way to help it. i was like oh just use my cane, it stopped working for me but it may help you. and when i tell you i saw the lightbulb go on over her head bro it was fucking crazy

#i have yet to assess whether its a good size for her but like #everyone in my family has some sort of chonic pain #i was the first kid to be taken to any specialist #i dont think she quite realizes shes joining the cripple club Way sooner than later and is able to do stuff about it #but thats what im here for. lets use mobility aids together 🖐️ #pussygator proclamations

[television-overload]

No I don't have a "type" of ship I gravitate toward, why do you ask?

#they ALL make me sick #these necklaces both carry such narritive weight it's insane #the way mulder hangs on to hers when she's missing #WEARS IT WHILE HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND MAKING QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS #and whst it represents to scully #he finds it in antarctica too #not to mention all the times he just reaches out to touch it. even when they’ve barely just met. #and then TONY #first of all i fully believe he bought her the replacement necklace after she was held captive in somalia #'i would sooner die than take this necklace off' #and then when she LEAVES #she uses the necklace as a message to him #he brings it back to her #only for him to sneak it into his pocket as something to remember her by #and he keeps it in his desk for YEARS after she's gone #some symbol that one day maybe they'll be together #the only piece of her he has left #UNTIL #he gets a living breathing piece of her. and he gives that little girl her mother’s necklace. #SICK I TELL YOU #WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE SHIPS AND WHY COULDN’T THE CREATORS LET THEM BE HAPPY #ncis #txf #x files #tiva #msr #ziva david #tony dinozzo #fox mulder #dana scully