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#it is an uncomfortable and unhappy time
unpretty · 1 year
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I adore that your bitchy characters *stay* bitchy. I tried to have a relationship fairly recently with someone who I couldn't be bitchy around (I wanted to impress them, and they found my compassion impressive but not my bitterness) and it eventually sucked the energy out of me to maintain the dream they had of me not being a bitch. Seeing Leonis and Victoria be simultaneously bitchy and loved is just really refreshing. Thanks. For that.
i'm writing the huge bitch representation i crave and i'm glad i'm not alone in this
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taldigi · 5 months
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hobisexually · 4 months
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why is January 2929293929 days long this year
#every day I wake up and . don’t want to#every day I have to drag myself to work and be entirely unhappy#and take every micro interaction as rejection#every day I think I have to push myself onto people in order to reach out and get what I want#but every time I’ve tried at work I don’t get it#and all my friends have a person that’s more important than me and I’m left behind#(the people I see every day or used to that is)#I attached so much of my value to work because it was the one thing I had a passion for#the one thing I could do#and now that’s gone and what the fuck do I have left#every day I sit at work and want to be so angry at everyone and I am but I’m also not and that’s what makes it worse#because I love them!!!!! I do!!!!!! but I get treated like SHIT#and everyone pretends it’s normal?#And then advises me to be More Forward in what I want?#when all I’ve been DOING is dragging myself out of comfort zones I have never been this uncomfortable ever and for WHAT#every day I’m in actual physical pain that MAYBE a surgery will be able to fix#every day I have to fight my piece of shit anxiety and seasonally depressed brain#every day I have to do physical therapy exercises or yoga or pelvic floor shit or mental therapy or whatEVER the fuck just to#find a sliver? of happiness somewhere?#And for WHAT#it hasn’t gotten me anywhere has it it hasn’t gotten me anything I wanted#tomorrow I’ll be able to look at the things I built and be happy about it again (maybe)#but today?#it’s a bad day#it’s such a BAD FUCKING DAY#I have cried every day since Sunday so far which is not normal for me I cry like five times a year usually#and my brain is screaming at me to isolate myself because at#least that way I’ll be safe from disappointing anyone#I hate when it’s a dark pit like this but what the fuck man#also the state of the goddamn world is. bad. and making me spiral worse and I just . 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
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angelamontoo · 1 year
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What are some of the most earwormy songs from Peter Lorres films to you guys?
'Ja die Polizei' from Was frauen Träumen seems to be a pretty popular one among Peter fans and 'As time goes by' is quite well liked in general, but what others do you like or get stuck in your head all the time?
I wouldn't say I like it perse, but I constantly have that damn Zulu warrior/zulu King song from Rope of sand stuck in my head. Especially that fucking "dup duppy dup duppy dup duh da da dup duppy dup duppy dup da da" bit. Drives me crazy
Also I really enjoy that weird, jaunty song from the opening of 'die Koffer des herrn O.F.' It seems like an appropriate song for Stix
And while we're on opening songs for films, AAOL has a pretty good one. I especially enjoy that the opening theme has the same tune as the hymn that the aunts are singing at Mr Hoskins(and Mr Spenalzos) funeral later aswell as that little happydale song Mortimer sings at the end of the film when he's "pretending" to be insane
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astro-b-o-y-d · 1 year
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I think transmascs will truly have rights the day this website stops hailing Ozma as a trans woman icon and recognizes him for what he really was; a boy forced into detransitioning back into a girl because ‘it wasn’t honest for him to take the throne as a boy’ or whatever that bullshit was in the writing.
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neriumdelusion · 1 year
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Carlos the flight response icon
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cosmicgesture · 9 months
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i hate that feeling HAPPY and stimming a little bit drains literally ALL of my fucking energy and then i'm back to being a bitter, depressed little asshole at my desk
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musashi · 1 year
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i'm probably never gonna find people who love me more than just inspiration porn/entertainment/comedy value. it sucks.
guess i'll read franmaya about it.
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You're so right about Phoebe having a hard time acknoledging Freddie sometimes had negative emotions. He seems to have a very idolizing view of Freddie sometimes. Yes, he was a genius, but he was also a human being as everyone else! Sometimes from Phoebe's words you get the vibe of someone almost cold and emotionless and it's kind of funny because listening to both his songs and his interviews I actually feel like Freddie was a very warm person who very much felt every single emotions in existence lol
Yeah. Phoebe has said Freddie was a very warm, caring friend, so he doesn't act like he was totally emotionless, but he glosses over his actual deep, negative emotions. He talks about how joyful Freddie was and how much he loved to laugh, which is fine, but it's when he more or less tells everyone that Freddie didn't struggle emotionally or have serious moments when it becomes weird, when we have a lot of proof otherwise. If he doesn't want to focus on Freddie's bad times, fine, but he doesn't have to present a superficial version of him, either
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just-rogi · 1 year
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I just had the single most uncomfortable phone call of my LIFE !!! Someone run my phone over with a TRACTOR and then SHOOT it with an GUN!!
#basically I was talking to a coworker asking for advice on how to handle another coworker of ours who had said some vaguely racist shit#fairly regularly#like she’s older so her heart is in the right place but it’s…. uncomfortable yk ?#and this coworker set up a meeting with admin to talk about how I feel victimized and am afraid to speak up (I’m not)#but I had my meeting and basically said ‘I want it on paper that I talked to y’all and asked for advice but I’d rather try to approach this#on my own and solve it person to person without attacking her or having her reprimanded’#and admin was like cool so we are actually totally gonna let you do that and also have a meeting where we do the opposite of that tehe#so I got a call from my coworker today that was like ‘UHHHH DID YOU GO TO ADMIN AND TELL THEM YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE#YOU THINK IM RACIST??’#like bro#I eat one meal a day and I get this shit during my dinner time#fuuuuuuuccccckkkk#like I was completely blindsided with this and thank god I can talk normally while crying bc I was fuckjng sobbing from anxiety#like yeah you did say some racist shit but working with you is better than working with any of the other people who don’t have their shit#together#as shitty as it sounds I’ve kinda come accept a certian level of micro aggression (and macroagressiom bc tbh Glenda girl you go too far)#like I’m always uncomfortable and always unhappy and I’m always gonna be like that but NOW I’m uncomfortable because I’m getting#a phone call during MY dinner bc admin did exactly what I did not want them to do#like I wish there was a way that I could be like ‘yo I’m formally reporting that some shady shit is happening- I wanna handle it peacefully’#‘but if it can’t be resolved I want to cover my ass and not get my words twisted#I like working with Glenda most of the time… just not when she’s talking about white privelage or lack there of…#no Gelnda the teacher shortage isn’t caused by bps only hiring poc teachers and not giving jobs to white people#I promise reverse racism isn’t the root of why we can’t get coverage for music health or financial literacy or seventh grade ELA or math#idk idk I’m not doing it Justice#like I was uncomfortable in the classroom before but now I’m gonna be MORE uncomfortable bc all this shit blew up in my face#all this taught me is to never speak up about microaggressions and never go to administration with concerns of how to solve issues-#you know: the exact WRONG takeaway because everything is so fucking messy#fuck me I can’t wait to apply for work outside of the US#also not to have a cynic victim mentally but none of this shot would’ve happened if I was white… :/#but yeah.. whatever … middle eastern people don’t experience racism ig
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Rereading all my old cringey comments from like 2016 on wattpad like
“Things have changed for me, and that’s okay”
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britneyshakespeare · 2 years
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It is all painfully coming together
#this is not to be alarming im simply referring to the drawing ive been busting my ass on since tuesday#which i worked considerably hard on yesterday... went for 7 straight hours really. and had to tear myself away from it to finally eat#and unhappily showered and went to bed for the night#i was making great progress relatively smoothly all day but when i left it i was at the point of spotting something i had to correct#so i was in quite a mood when i left it and feeling a lot of anguish picking it back up today#but i really am starting to get it more and more down how i think i ought to be. and the adderall will still be active in me for hours#here's to hoping i finish the damned thing today. it's due monday but i REALLY don't wanna even be doing the finishing touches tomorrow.#if im not spraying this thing w fixative to lock the charcoal in place by tonight im gonna be really unhappy#(it's due monday)#tales from diana#also my setup w two chairs (one for me to sit in and one to hold up my drawing board) is REALLY uncomfortable#when im drawing from life it's not so much a problem bc i hold it in my lap but this time i have a photo reference#and it's kinda just really messy to hold it on my lap w subtractive drawing anyway. i always end up erasing the corners w my sleeve.#i keep being locked in a leaning-forward manspreading position so i can get closer to my drawing to see it#it's like im ABOUT to sit up. but holding that position for hours at a time.#i wish i had a stool and eisele#is that the right spelling? it's what my phone suggested#it rhymes weasel and has no starting consonant. that thing that word.
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steviescrystals · 1 day
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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blackwaxidol · 3 months
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he says it in such a strange manner, too. "Ohbv-iously..." he lingers on that first half in such a pronounced way, you cannot not-notice it... he doesn't say it in a way where he is trying to emphasise it like i am an idiot, it is just quite literally how he pronounces the word.
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bxdtime-ceai · 4 months
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thoughts in tags
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sweetnans · 15 days
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"K', new situation"
The remote was out of your reach because you kept pausing the shows, and Katsuki had enough of watching every episode like there was a connection problem.
"Hit me," he said, resting his head on the wall of your dorm.
It became a habit that you and him watched shows together at your dorm, every Thursday night, no excuse. Last week, you started watching "Queen Charlotte," and even though Katsuki didn't want to watch the show, you convinced him to give it a chance, and now, he was the one who didn't want you to pause it.
"What if...-no, no, ok, let me start over." You tripped on your questions, and Katsuki found it adorable. "Imagine this, you are royalty and someone with more power than you, force you to marry someone you don't know...are you following me?" You paused at his quizzed face.
"Yeah, I am," he simply answered.
"So they force you to marry someone you don't know and you have no interest in. What would you do?"
"Mm, I would probably cheat on her multiple times, make her so unhappy, and be a dick of a husband," he side eyed you while answering because he couldn't get his eyes off of the screen and because he wanted to watch you freaking out at his answer. He could do both.
"Are you serious?" You couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. "Jesus, Katsuki, what an asshole"
You stomped to his body and reached the remote to put the show on pause.
"Not again. Why do you do this to me?" He whined. He was getting upset, but you were more upset because he wasn't taking serious the situation game.
"Why are you like that? Don't you think that maybe an arrangement marriage is the perfect occasion to find true love? You obviously skipped a step, but now you have all the time in the world to know a person, the details, the way they like their tea in the morning, the things that make them upset. I think it's lovely and romantic. " You day dreamed, and Katsuki couldn't bear the fact that you and him were so different. He liked it, finding a way to make opposites attract situations happened in his life.
"I think it's opposite ends. There's only two ways to go. It's extremely good or extremely bad"
"Yeah, you're right," you gave in. He was the one who didn't believe in love after all. You've had multiple boyfriends in the span of two years, always falling for the jerks, like Katsuki always said, but you never denied the opportunity of starting over. You put the show again and sank on your spot.
Your quietness made Katsuki uncomfortable. You spent the rest of the episode without pusing the show, not for situation game or going to pee and that was very weird of you.
Before the next episode started, Katsuki himself paused it.
"You didn't like what I said," he stated looking at you.
You were dissociating, actually, you weren't mad at him, you were just thinking about him, about how you were feeling towards his feelings, you were upset because you knew that If you had feelings for him (that you already had) he wouldn't give himself a chance with you and you would be head over heels for him, making the situation unfair to you and your feelings. What you were thinking wasn't any close to the situation that you gave him. It wasn't something settled between you and him. It was more about his vision of love, the opposite ends example.
"No, it's not that it's just -" you sighed. You didn't want to make things awkward between Katsuki and you. You found a steady ground where you could enjoy each other's company without making it any weird. "I don't know, Bakugo."
He seemed astonished.
"Mm, last name basis now, huh? Must be something serious. " he moved from his seat to put his figure in front of you. "Use your words, I know you can fucking talk"
Sometimes, he called yourself for eating his ear off because you couldn't shut up. He was trying to make you feel comfortable with him again.
"See, it's just... I'm feeling kinda worried about you because I've never seen you with someone else. I want you to find love, to be happy, to face love, and dare to take a chance on someone, you know? And maybe I'm misunderstanding things here, and you don't want any of that. " You stumble through your words, taking his face in. He looked like he was thinking, but his eyes were analyzing your face like it was the first time he ever saw you. "I don't want you to think that I'm pitying you -"
"I do want to experience love," he said, glancing briefly to your lips and then your eyes. "And maybe I'm just waiting for the right one," he muttered, getting closer to you.
You were stoic in your place. Thoughts running in your head, the gears in your brain trying to figure what was happening and if it was just a dream. Maybe you were just imagining things, and now you feared to take the wrong step.
"You do?" You asked, feeling his presence in your space asking whatever came to your mind so you could have more time to think about this situation.
"Yeah, but she keeps dating assholes"
He grinned a little, trying to give away the slightest clue about his feeling but the exact amount of it so you could realize what he was saying.
For his own luck, you were pretty clever sometimes.
"Well, maybe, no one ever showed her better." You squeezed yourself between his legs while he was still sitting with his legs crossed. He parted his legs at your movement and grabbed your waist to keep you close. "I dated assholes because you were too busy demonstrating you didn't care when I dated them"
"Is that so?" He asked humming.
"Yeap," you nodded like a child, playing with your hands in your lap, concentrating in them.
"I'm sorry for not interrupting sooner," he moved his head to his side, trying to catch your eyes.
"You better be," you told him, giggling. It was an unexplored field. You were distracting yourself for the upcoming event.
"We haven't even kissed yet, and you already have an attitude with me? Get a fucking grip" he joked while taking your hands apart.
"Jeez, you should check yourself and look for the stick that's up in your asshole. You are so dense sometimes. "
You pushed him slightly, and he tugged your hands against his chest, caging you without any escape routes.
"Just shut the fuck up"
Without any warning, he crashed his lips against yours with feverish force. His grip in your hands fell so he could touch every part of your body thoroughly. Your arms clinged behind his back, closing the gap between the two of you. Your fingers touched the nape of his neck, tugging his hair every time he bit your lips.
You two were out of air, so you were forced to step back a little. His nose touched yours, and he gave you soft pecks in your lips before opening his mouth.
"No more dating assholes" he warned.
"Mmhm," you nodded, biting your lip. "You better stop acting like one then"
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