#it doesn't FEEL like we're at the end

[inoankin]

*hyperventalating* it's dndads eve

#i don't know what to do #it doesn't FEEL like we're at the end #but we definitely #ARE. #dndads #velvet talks

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I said I wasn't going to get started on the topic of Aveline ruining Carver's chances with the guard but I lied okay, it's Carver Hawke defense hours.

Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you believe Carver was or wasn't fit for the guard. That's a different debate that I'll get to. What matters is Aveline's in no position to tell the guard not to accept his application. Why does she think that's her right to judge whether or not he's fit?

Carver should've had the chance to prove himself one way or another. If it turns out he's not a good fit, then let him fail. Let him learn from it.

"Oh but failure could mean lost lives-"

Aveline doesn't get to talk shit about failure and the people. Plenty have died on her watch yet she still believes she's a good guard and Guard-Captain.

"maybe Aveline's protecting him, Carver could die while on patrol-"

Carver could die working in the Bone Pit, or serving as a templar, or when he's running around with Hawke. Carver could trip and fall down a set of stairs and die. In fact, he can die in the Deep Roads, somewhere he wouldn't have to go if the Hawke's weren't desperate.

Either Carver fails as a guard, or more likely, he succeeds and proves himself worthy of it.

But let's be real, Carver probably kept getting rejected due to being a Fereldan with a past of smuggling/mercenary work and Aveline only reaffirmed the decision, either because they asked her what she thought or she stuck her nose in unprompted.

But what irritates me is that she admits to telling them not to accept his application, and then has the balls to call Carver too proud to take up a trade or find another line of work.

Carver tells her, "And who would take on a Fereldan apprentice? Maybe in another year I could work my way up to pissboy." He has a good point here. Aside from the guard, the only other place Carver could work and use his skillset is with the Templars. Or go back to mercenary/smuggling work.

And Aveline doesn't even have a real answer for him. No suggestions, no encouragement, nothing. Just "Fine, let's crawl down some holes. Good bloody luck for your sake."

Also, if you do the Mark of the Assassin DLC in Act 1-

Aveline: You should see if any of the noblemen are looking for new men-at-arms. Carver: Are you trying to get rid of me? Aveline: It's a role with some autonomy. A good fit with your training and... tendencies. Carver: After serving King Cailan? You want me to suffer some poncy git who needs two servants to wipe his own ass? I'll find my own way, thanks. Aveline: I wish you would.

You wish he would?? Aveline, he was trying to find his way into the guard, a position he'd make a good fit for, and you helped deny him of it because YOU didn't think he would be good enough, I just-

If I haven't made it clear yet, I firmly believe that Carver would've made a great guard. He wants to help people, to be a protector. He's loyal, and despite what Aveline claims, he can follow orders and take his duty seriously. We see him do incredibly well with the Grey Wardens, after all. If he were a guard, he wouldn't have to go down into the Deep Roads with Hawke, and I think he would've been okay with that! He's so hurt and bitter when you leave him behind because that effectively tells him, "I don't need you." Carver's spent the whole first act telling you he wants to go on the expedition aka that he wants to be needed.

But if he were a guard, he would be needed elsewhere. He'd be in training as a recruit. He'd look after Leandra while you go. He wouldn't be backed into a corner with no income and only the templars left as his chance at forging his own path and providing for his family.

He doesn't get that opportunity, though.

By the way, if he becomes a warden, you can get this banter:

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

This banter makes me want to scream.

Aveline's just... she's so insistent that she's right. She's someone who will double down rather than entertain the idea that she's wrong and it's not just with Carver and the guard, it's with everything. The "my beef with Aveline" list gets longer and longer every time I replay da2, I swear.

Say what you will about Carver, whether you think he would've been a good fit or if Aveline's right and it wasn't for him, he was denied a chance and it cost him so much in the end. He either dies, or he joins the templars where he deals with Chantry's bullshit trying to brainwash him with "mages aren't people" and "magic is a cancer in this world", or he's infected with the blight and becomes a Grey Warden, forced to serve the rest of his life fighting darkspawn, tormented by voices and nightmares.

I will never not be bitter about this.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age #carver hawke #aveline vallen #aveline critical #oh and also forever bitter that hawke doesn't have the option to talk to aveline about this #because listen my hawke would be on this #carver would be annoyed and all 'i don't need your help >:[' but that's not gonna stop ed from turning on Big Brother Mode #this is just one of many reasons i can't do the friendship path with aveline #i hate the thought of doing rivalries for all my other companions but i feel like aveline's rivalry route is the only chance to shake her #of her unwarranted over confidence and make her realize that she's not this lawful good 'i stand for all of us' guard captain #she still stands with me in the end but at that point i wouldn't be surprised if she was just doing to because she still feels she owes ed #for getting her outta fereldan and into kirkwall rather than because we're loyal best friends y'know? #she's certainly not doing it for the mage rights #but anyway i never miss an opportunity to defend carver #that's my baby brother and i love him

[coquelicoq]

when you're the only person who keeps living through the time loop, the people around you cease to be people and become mere characters. your treatment of them doesn't matter because they're not real and they won't remember. the only way to give anything meaning is to end the loop; their actions don't affect the loop and therefore are meaningless. you're the only one who has the ability to change the future, so anything you do in service of that goal is justified.

but. kim dojka looks at yoo joonghyuk and says no, actually, these characters are people. whether they remember or not is beside the point because they are real right now. and you don't give your life meaning by achieving some accomplishment that retroactively makes everything that came before worth it - you give your life meaning in the living of it.

#'meaning' isn't a reward you get for clearing a scenario...it's something you actively create every day as you make a life #kim dokja: it's WORTH IT! i know it's worth it because we are making it worth it!!!!! #ohhhhh waoaohhohh getting a transmission to my brain...suddenly feeling the urge to rewatch palm springs (2020) #time loop fiction is sooo fucking potent like ok you can read about this person who alone out of everyone has agency #thereby alienating them from all their fellow creatures...but watch out #orv #time travel #agency #existentialism #kdj #yjh #omniscient reader's viewpoint #my posts #f #also the fact that it's kim dokja - the 'reader' - who's creating meaning...sorry excuse me. there is something in my eye. #and this is coming from the guy who is very much committed to reaching the end of the scenarios! that is very much his goal #and what he's working toward. but the meantime is not something to get through. it's life and he's choosing to live it #he's like maybe this is fiction maybe we're all characters but it doesn't matter because the story is real to the people living it #his whole thing is that he refuses the idea that the story is unchangeable. he refuses the lack of agency #he's like well i will just make my own story. i will make my own meaning #and if there's some author out there that i'm the character of well good luck keeping up with me. mwah

[deer-with-a-stick]

I love how all of the companions' stories revolve around autonomy and I love how some of the romances show the whole "I love you for who you are"

Don't love how so many people are misinterpreting them though

#i think the romances thing really applies to wyll astarion and gale #wyll romance means you see beyond mizora and the half devil thing later #astarion romance means you see beyond the sexy facade and you prove to him that he doesnt need to perform for you to love him #gale romance is him getting over and understanding that mystra was never going to care about him like that #and that he doesnt need divinity to be loved #he's lovable as he is #anyway i feel my 'fuck mystra' feelings coming up again #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate three #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate three spoilers #bg3 spoilers #i dont know if lae'zels romance works for this but i know that she figures out kindness along the way #i really hope they fix karlach's quest we're allowed to save everyone else #i saw someone compare her and gale and yeah sure it works #i tend to compare her and astarion more though #and its a little upsetting that karlach doesn't get the freedom she wants so hopefully larian patches that #astarion might not get the freedom to walk in the sun on the 'good ending' but he's free of cazador and he can finally choose for himself #and seeing as he's not dead and how he's been a vampire for around 196 years (not over 200 yet) there are still ways to help him #harder for karlach because either she dies and ashes are all thats left she goes back to avernus or shes a mind flayer #also its arguable easier to live in the shadows/underdark than it is in literal Hell #easier to reach him too

[onebizarrekai]

howdy gamers. I didn't make very much digital art this year, but I did challenge myself to draw or write at least one thing in a particular sketchbook every night this year and fill its pages! I made my yearly art compilation out of that book instead of my usual digital art.

the drawings range from characters, objects, scenery, graffiti, one-sentence journaling, tiny drawings and big ones, foregrounds and backgrounds, angst, drawings mismatched and matched, 99% done in colored pencil. it's so satisfying to flip through a sketchbook where each page is completely full and brimming with color. I've put a few of my favorite pages below plus some other silly little things.

I only filled up about half the book this year, so the quest continues. also ozzy ghirahim is my favorite drawing in the whole book

#art closet #random stuff #2023 summary of art #gonna be real. I first started this challenge to keep myself from burning out #I feel like we as online artists #we're always thinking about what people are going to appreciate #how are people going to respond to this #how much effort am I willing to put into this #can I impress people with this or entertain them even if just a little bit #none of that existed here. so I could just do whatever I wanted whether it looked good or like crap #it doesn't have to be cohesive and it doesn't require an explanation #I ended up drawing so many things that I normally wouldn't #I highly recommend this challenge to anyone who wants to do it

[aerithisms]

i have got to be so real and honest with you all i am going to be sad forever if rwby never gets finished. "it's just a show" "it's not even that good" i don't CARE i've spent a decade growing up with it and it's so special to me :(

#blahs #rwby #it's just such a bizarre position that we're in rn #rwby being rt's flagship meant it always used to feel so certain that it'd get to go as long as it needed #i never even thought about cancellation as a possibility until around v9 #and even then after v9 ended i was fairly optimistic #and now the show's been off the air for a year and the fandom's not really active THIS is when we get hit with rt shutting down #so i have all this sadness over a story that's very special to me maybe never coming back but the fanbase is kind of subdued about it #it doesn't feel like the show even really gets a mourning period #esp bc there's a chance it could come back i don't think people know if they should be mourning it?? it's all very weird #if it doesn't come back it's so strange to think such a huge presence in my life might go out so quietly #anyway i love you rwby i miss you rwby :(

[anewp0tat0]

the majority voted for me to not photoshop and just work on the valentines day art to be posted later in the month. and yea I will do that. but I already started photoshoping regardless. so happy belated birthday Grelle!!

I was originally making William into Sebster, plus Nardo's face shape worked a lot more for William than it did for Sebs, and could I have just imported a whole new face in there? yea, but it would have taken longer, may not have looked great... plus I accepted that in the end, I do afterall headcanon Bassy to be Grelle's side toy while Will is her main. so she would want this.

#fine #but you know what Grelle looks happy and so does Will I can feel it so I'm accepting it #we're all happy? good #happy belated birthday girlie!! my photoshop's still a little rough but I hope I got to capture some of your beauty ;D #in the end it's impossible for this not to look atleast a little weird but try to just enjoy the moment. and don't zoom into the details #pretty pretty please #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #photoshop #digital art #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #william t spears #Im sureee I would have finished this on time but oh nooo minor illness got me😔 this world really do hate my girl. but we're good now #whether we like it or not #oh yea and don't zoom into the manga panel either. not my best reconstruction really but I didn't think it needed too much #hopefully it doesn't distract from the main attraction

[hypervoxel]

Enough discourse, I wanna post about headcanons

The Vees are a polycule to me, but in a way that I can't even explain without an entire slowburn fanfic (stay tuned. I'm a slow writer). But I will try.

Velvette:

I do adhere to the lesbian Velvette headcanon. She's dating Vox and still occasionally joins Valentino for a threesome with him. When she first joined the Vees, Velvette used to identify as bisexual (and still loves the bi flag colors the most) and all three of them used to date, before Velvette realized that she's a lesbian.

She and Vox are still dating, and they have an open relationship.

Vox:

Vox's response to Velvette coming out was, "So you're breaking up with Val?" Yes, his pronouns are he/him. No, he's not a man. He'd long shed the fleshy confines of humanity and gender along with it.

Vox is aspec, agender, autistic. To me. He's sex favorable of the 'I want to do it for my partner's enjoyment' flavor. Watching from cameras brings him just as much enjoyment, and he watches everything and everyone, living vicariously, a voyer through the screen. As a result of that, he's so so touched starved, but his sense of feeling is muted (the consequences of betraying flesh in favor of the machine). Soft touches to his synthetic skin don't really register, his sense of feeling restricted to mostly pressure and pain, so he's become a bit of a masochist in response because that's something physical.

Valentino:

He just likes sex. He chases pleasure in any form he can find, dopamine rushes from numerous drugs, orgasmic release, the rush of power from crushing someone underfoot. Anything and everything, he'll try it all. And none of it is really enough, so he'll never stop chasing more.

Valentino doesn't consider his relationship with Vox romantic, even if Vox totally does. They're friends, sure, business partners, absolutely, and fuckbuddies wherever Val is in the mood for it. But romance isn't Val's thing. That's hard work, and Val saves romancing for potential new hires he wants to sign a contract with. What Vox and he have is also written down on a contract, joining their businesses together too closely to be parted without blood, but it's not the same. Not to Val. So, he wouldn't call Vox his boyfriend, but he also wouldn't correct anyone who said they were. Vox is someone he can let his guard down with, one of the few people who would never want to get out of the contract their names are signed on. They work well together. That's better than any romance you can get in Hell, Val thinks.

Val and Velvette are catty besties. Pan/Lesbian solidarity and hostility all in one.

#the vees #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #okay i hate typing official tag. we're done here #not done with rambling in the tags tho #ace Vox vs Alastor having wildly different experiences with their sexuality so that even tho they are the same sexuality‚ #that only drives them further apart. is something that can be so meaningful #to me!! #also human Vox in my own little headcanon world had So Many body issues that becoming a TV was an improvement to him #but it's hell so he's still disconnected from his own body by the fact that his skin isn't flesh and doesn't feel #the nerves he came to hate have burned away and the fibre optics glowing inside of him are cold‚ unfeeling light #and now he would rather feel pain than feel nothing #he's rewired his sensors so that pain becomes pleasure - or as close to such that he can feel #velvette is the newest vee of course and she was dropped right in to Vox and Val's situationship #and she quickly found out that Vox doesn't just like watching - he also likes being watched. it was not shocking discovery #he likes her watching Val and him fuck‚ he likes Val watching her fuck him. #and he loves cuddling at the end. she loves it too. they can be so soft. i can make them be soft >:3 #so import to me that their relationships are so fucking toxic tho. they're soft and they're horrible <3 #Ace Vox

[dootznbootz]

@thehelplessmortals shared this with me and...Penelope coded.

She definitely tried to gross out Odysseus in a dumb "You think you can handle me, idiot? >:) " way. (She's stubborn and in denial at first. When she realizes she actually likes him, she's a mess.) And while eating raw fish is normal for naiad-born in Sparta, when she learned Odysseus wasn't used to naiads in daily life, she just really went wild with it.

He's just staring at her kind of expressionless and she thinks "Ha, see? You don't really like me."

But he's just like

"You like carp? Cuz if you do, we got plenty on Ithaca! Many more fish too! And if we don't, I'll get you some!"

And she's annoyed because her plan didn't work. Girlie is self-sabotaging even though she thinks he's neat.

#this is normal for naiads but she also doesn't have impulse control. She'll jump in mid-convo. #...part of the joke is that basically no one eats carp because they're fucking disgusting :D same with catfish...at least where I live #Helen: “uh...I could just shock the water and then you could get them.” #Penelope: “Where's the sport in that?! >:( ” #It's not like a “playing hard to get” she just genuinely doesn't believe he could possibly like her and being a shit about it. #“Helen's supposed to get the happy ending. not me” (which Helen even is like “you're an idiot”) she eventually gets #her act together :D she's overwhelmed right now. especially since he's just head over heels and just... a LOT as he doesn't know #what to do with these feelings either and she gets mad at him for constantly talking about marriage “The more you say it. the less I wanna" #especially with his reputation to bully and fuck with people. and the fact that he lied to her so much when they first met. she doesn't #trust him. He's overwhelming her and then she's finally like. “if you're so interested. we're doing things at my pace.” then things get chi #they're both so used to putting up their guard that they can't genuinely believe this could be something wonderful #she actually is kind of afraid of the fact that “...Do you just have a thing for Naiads?? since you're not used to them?” are you weird? #but he interacts fine with other naiads. and isn't affected by Helen. #shot by odysseus #Mad rambles #my headcanons #odypen #btw. she chew through bone technically :D fish bone but bone #kind of want to make a “moodboard for the Water Wife” #penelope #Water Wife

[lelalyo]

The alliance with Gortash feels really rushed - not that I need to tell any of you that but I was thinking about how it could've been.

Primarily, if he lived to the end and if he betrays you or not depending on whether you proved that he could trust you in quests prior.

For example, you can talk to Wulbren about blowing up the foundry before you even talk to Gortash so one step towards him trusting you properly could've been the player telling him where the Ironhands are hiding.

Idk, it just really makes no sense to me how you can make an alliance with Gortash but none of you really bring anything to the alliance other than the stones. They don't really provide an incentive for taking the alliance besides skipping the foundry/iron throne quests and Gortash's boss fight which I suppose, for some people, would be enough but only one of those is actually compulsory to progress with the main story.

And sure, he tells you about Orin but even if you're not told, the shapeshifting thing still happens and you can still catch her regardless. To be honest, I kind of feel like if it's going to be a feature in your game, it should be as fleshed out as other things.

I realize that there's a time crunch and things get chopped and left out, that you can't have everything - I get that completely but that doesn't stop me from feeling that Act 3 feels kind of abrupt in a lot of ways, especially where Orin and Gortash are concerned.

#I feel this way about the evil run of the game too #It's a feature but it doesn't feel as well thought out and extensive as the good/better runs of the game #And on one hand I get it - being evil has it's drawbacks #however I would argue that if you're going to put the options in the first place #it should be enjoyable for players to do because at the end of the day - we're here to be entertained #The whole point of video games is to have fun because you're not bound by real world restrictions (within reason ofc) #Also because most people don't like doing evil runs - me - I'm those people - you should give people a reason to do it #I don't like evil for the sake of evil - that's kind of lazy #Give me epic loot - give me good juicy content you just can't get otherwise - incentives people! #Baldur's Gate 3 #Baldur's Gate 3 Act 3 Spoilers #Baldur's Gate 3 Spoilers #Lord Enver Gortash #Enver Gortash #Lily plays BG3

[spherekuriboh]

the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!

#distext #i feel strongly enough abt this one to tag it #the silt verses #youve found me and the god i unwittingly fed-- it was never yours but it was mine and you stayed because you found me. #blah blah the narrative twists to incorporate the listener's hopes and desires for a happy ending blah blah #but the god is not capable of denying the rapture in the journey. it is in fact all it has to offer. #sebastian being unhappy *now* doesn't mean that the god is unfed. of course not. the journey is eternal. #but the lingering doubt would not have been centered upon his lifelong traveling companion. because that *spoils it!* #there is no journey in staying here. staying here is an ending. and the other narrative can't bloom with such a shadow hanging over it. #hope exists. of course it does. it must. but it isn't like. saccharine and revisionist. #not the decision to stay in the place of potential and never see and ending through. #dev calls him sebastian. whether it's an attention check (are you listening?) or a slipup back to formality it is a fuckup. #in much the same socially inept way that 'let's stay here' was such a desirable idea for your lover this morning you dont even consider NOW #elephant. elephant is what i meant. #anyway. meta fodder for the listener (i dont have the commentary but ive seen the phrase 'coin-flip') vs. watsonian social interactions. #........ frankly i dont think that sebastian gave enough of a fuck to pick a winner between hayward and carpenter either but that is just m #i think there's probably something smart to say about how moving forward this season involves nothing but uncertainty #where even following the cairn maiden to an assured ending leaves the pulsing question of when #but man im just upset. gay sex saved the day solved the mystery and now we're going back to get shotgun married to dodge the draft #if you dont have your own insurance plan your spouse's is fine. #sorry. what was i talking about? #right. there isn't a joy in this. there is no definite moment where the hurt- this trauma. the fog.- would pass and settle into comfort. #and among all of the promises and threats. it would only hurt for a moment. #nope! congrats. scarred for life you have to keep on living and difficult conversations you have to keep on having and continued awkwardnes #can't catch me suicide metaphor i'm gay as fuck. anyways #podcast tag #tsv spoilers

[so-called-quail]

'Trapped in the end!' said Sam bitterly, his anger rising again above weariness and despair. 'Gnats in a net. May the curse of Faramir bite that Gollum and bite him quick!' 'That would not help us now,' said Frodo.

Sword in hand Sam went after him. For the moment he had forgotten everything else but the red fury in his brain and the desire to kill Gollum. But before he could overtake him, Gollum was gone. Then as the dark hole stood before him and the stench came out to meet him, like a clap of thunder the thought of Frodo and the monster smote upon Sam's mind.

Now he tried to find strength to tear himself away and go on a lonely journey – for vengeance. If once he could go, his anger would bear him down all the roads of the world, pursuing, until he had him at last: Gollum. Then Gollum would die in a corner. But that was not what he had set out to do. It would not be worth while to leave his master for that. It would not bring him back. Nothing would.

Sam and vengeance in today's entry

#idk i have Thoughts about this... rambles ahead... #there's an interesting arc here with how sam approaches his feelings of vengeance in this entry #starting with the first quote. frodo's response to sam is so brief and doesn't get much time to sit with all the action going on #but i feel like it speaks volumes #at least in showcasing the different points they stand on #sam centers his resentment and feelings of revenge... he's quick to get frustrated and immediately goes for threatening gollum #meanwhile frodo is focused on getting out. he doesn't have time to nurse anger nor does he want to #it feels like he's advising sam to move past it because he knows it's futile to stay stuck in those feelings #then there's sam's fight with gollum #after days and weeks of building tension from his mistrust towards gollum... this is where the dam finally breaks #sam's been feeding into his resentment for SO LONG it's no wonder he gets into this state of blind fury towards the end #he set himself up to seek vengeance the moment he gets the opportunity #which in some way i'm sure does help him in fending off gollum... that strength had to come from somewhere #but once he's staved him off he continues to fixate that anger on gollum and forgets what he originally set out to do-- protect frodo #and then we're left with the final quote... #it isn't until sam has (perceived to have) lost everything that he is able to come to the conclusion that vengeance won't serve him #...a lesson learned a little too late?? maybe?? no?? it feels cruel to say that #i definitely do not want to take the position that sam was responsible for what happened to frodo #he was pinned in a horribly desperate situation and couldn't do much once gollum attacked #i don't think much would've changed if he hadn't had his moment of fury with chasing gollum #anyways newbie here-- i haven't read anything ahead from here so idk what character arcs await sam #but i'm interested to see if this is later built upon or acknowledged #end of rambles skdfjgkdjsfg #lotr newsletter #lotr newsletter march 13th #EDIT: I forgot to space the quotes out 😭 #not a crime but they can get confusing to read when scrunched together hrnnnn

[breezypunk]

I made a bold move and unblocked pretty much everyone who ever caused me distress. I'm starting fresh. I made a promise to myself that 2024 was gonna be a good year for me fandom wise, and it ended up being the polar opposite, I'm letting myself get upset and angry over things out of my control and it's not healthy and not good for me.

In the three + years I have been here, I've made mistakes and hurt people, and people have hurt me and I'm done dwelling in it, I can't do it anymore, I'm moving forward, I'm an adult. I'm ready to just have fun and do my thing :]

So yeh, if you wanna interact cool, if not cool, but I'm ready to finally let go of all the BS and play with my blorbos, and speaking of which.. I'm gonna go play with the blorbos <3

#p.s I've always taken accountability for my stupid ass choices #and my choices early on in fandom were questionable at best #but im tired of feeling weird feelings over dumb shit #like at the end of the day who cares jkfngjkgn this is fandom #we're here to play with blorbos and take cute pics #anyways sorry for the almost midnight ramble xD i was feeling feelings #- #also this is just something im doing that i personally feel like will help me #and if it doesn't and more bs happens i will block again.. happily lol

[goldiecastelia]

I was thinking about a modern!Shogun AU and a background for Mariko

And you guys know, modern!Mariko would be such a corrupt's daughter, for some reason in my head. Her father would be a corrupt politician or even a mafia boss, so all the shit that happened in the canon would happen, but, in some different way of course, and we would have a whole construction of Mariko trying to deconstruct all the image, associated with things about her family name, that people have about her now and at the same time trying to avenge her family.

This just makes me think that she would marry Buntaro for nothing more than alliances, the union of important families, or until her father promised her to the Toda family, so there would be the same reason as to why Mariko didn't die with her family, but, I don't know, we're talking about the modern world, I can only imagine Mariko being a classic badass independent strong woman, even though she loves her family very much, she doesn't live in a age where marriages are OBLIGATIONS. But anyway, this just makes me wonder how everything would unfold throughout the story.

How would she meet John? I mean, I only can imagine Blackthorne being pretty screwed up in modern world, maybe a bar owner, something lower, I don't think any profession too fancy, I even thought about oceanographer but... no, I don't think so! And also, how would she be close to Lord (Mr.) Toranaga, would he be someone who would help her after her parents' death? Or maybe he was close enough to her father to know her, who knows. Many questions, our world is full of possibilities for characters who followed such strict standards.

#I don't know why I thought of that but maybe it's me getting ready for the end of the series #Like we're already on ep 5 it's ending so quickly and it feels like it started yesterday #but my reasoning makes sense if we look at it from one side #Definitely think I'm going to write this even though my writing area is fantasy #maybe I'll do a shogun fantasy fanfic at some point #not now but definitely maybe #I mean mariko in the modern world would have to be someone important even if she doesn't want to #people who prefer historical series sorry about this post it was just an idea #I was just looking at some photos of Anna Sawai and this idea came to me #shogun 2024 #shogun #shogun fx #fx shogun #shōgun fx #shōgun 2024 #toda mariko #anna sawai #cosmo jarvis #john blackthorne #hiroyuki sanada #yoshii toranaga #lord toranaga #creative writing

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.

And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.

#i only went to his office to ask if he wants to join me for lunch he didn't have time and yet i still somehow ended up staying for 1.5 hours #'thanks for the conversation' he said when i left. 'and thanks for keeping me from my work' #as if HE hadn't kept me from lunch when he kept our conversation going on and on with his 'wait i still wanted to show you this' #talking to him always feels like wellness for my brain somehow. like. we're different people but we think the same way. #i don't have to translate my thoughts to be understood he already gets my point before i've even finished my train of thought #every time work tires me out so much that it feels like i can't think straight anymore then i talk to him and suddenly my brain works again #and i like how he calls me out on my nonsense when i lose myself in a contradiction or don't say what i want to say or say what i don't mea #and he lets me go on extensive rants about statistics despite not knowing anything about it and doesn't even complain #he just always says 'i'll pretend i know what that means' and says i should learn it well so he can ask me for my help with it later #recently he came to me right after teaching saying 'you won't believe how much i just messed up. let me show you how i failed' #and then proceeded to recreate the entire situation and his thought process at that moment and i just #there is a very big word running around in my mind that i dare not speak of but maybe one day #i don't even know if he even sees me as much as a friend maybe i'm just some co-worker he likes talking to occasionally you know #what does it mean what does it all mean #ramblings

[theokusgallery]

Since you have a lot of opinions about Sunflower fics, do you have any recommendations :p? I do generally agree with you about the derth of good works on them - kind of hoping for something I've maybe slept on.

Okay, I'll try,

First of all — I want everyone, and I mean everyone to read Coda for a Crestfallen Caitiff by MercuriallyApathetic, who also wrote The Strange Summer of Sunny Whatshisface (still one of my favorite longfics to this day but a lot more lighthearted). Coda is a masterpiece, it makes me insane, it is criminally underrated, I want to inhale its essence, and when I first read it it gave me a panic attack and a mental breakdown that lasted three straight days (/pos). Definitely read the tags and prepare yourself mentally but JESUS CHRIST I need everyone to read it. Please. You will regret it for a few hours but it is... an experience. To me at least. And to the two people I recommended it to who gave me feedback.

Then there's sunflower seeds in the rearview mirror by @andrewwtca which remains probably my favorite multichapter OMORI fic of all time (you might spot my essay-comments in the later chapters, I love this fic so much. I didn't end up writing one for the last chapter but man did it hit me hard). Very intriguing with a captivating style and an unreliable narrator mechanic that I am absolutely in love with. Everything by that author is excellent.

We have, of course, literally everything by BetweenDisorders. Arsenic is partly inspired by one of their fics ! (you know the one.) Their characterization of both Sunny and Basil (but especially Basil, because I'm gay) makes me froth at the mouth. Their style is very recognizable and honestly one of the best I've ever seen. But more generally, they have really original and intriguing ideas (like communication, in which Basil and Sunny are two computers... Did I mention how I'm a sucker for original/unique plots and premises enough yet) and everything they do is something you've never seen before. It's amazing.

Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia is also very, very good. It's a lot lighter, but it still made my gay little heart ache, because I'm a sucker for misunderstandings done correctly (fight me).

Detective Sunny by Det_Sun is genuinely one of the most creative, fascinating OMORI fics I've seen, and also way too underrated. It's an excellent read, and there's a bunch of ideas in it that you know go deeper than what is shown, and it makes my brain go at the speed of lights. Many many thoughts about this one. (Side note: I fucking love it when there's unexplored ideas in fics. Makes my brain go brrr. Not everything has to be shown and when I see hints of "behind the scene" thoughts and character background that isn't discussed much but still implied, my brain becomes a feral animal. I don't know if that makes sense...)

#im recommending fics that can be morally be read by/recommended to everyone because i know my demographic #but i literally just went through my bookmarks and ooh'ed and ahh'ed at every other fic so i linked them lol. #i'm not linking 'the telltale of a recovering megalomaniac' by shootingstarlightt because im trying to link underrated things #but it's also very good. #there's also Drying on the Steps by DeepFriedBasil but i can't recommend it because i haven't finished reading it !! #but it's so intriguing and unique and you can spot me in the comments of the first few chapters trying to make sense of it all. #I didn't link Culinary Conversations for the same reason (I have yet to catch up on it unfortunately) but it's MAGICAL it's INCREDIBLE #I NEED MORE FICS THAT WRITE STRANGER LIKE THIS. PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE #on the topic of characterization: Sunny & Mari Edition™ we also have Mari Doesn't Die At The End by CoreyWW #and The Very Best by nullmeh. both are very very good. #Deep Down We're Still The Same Kids by witheredahlia is also great from what I remember but I... don't remember much #there's some fics in my bookmarks i just... don't remember. oops. #...i hope this post isn't too long. i'm leaving some stuff in the tags because linking them in the post would've made it 3ft long #and also because when i give fic recs I feel like I have to arguments it and for some of those I don't really know what to say except Good #please read Coda for a Crestfallen Caitiff. please. #rant #omori #ask #ephemeralspirit-blog #fic recs #most if not all of these are sunflower btw ! i basically only read sunflower. #sorry to my fellow ze[...]ae lovers btw. i'd recommend them but. again. i know my demographic #arsenic #<- i tag every single mention of him for someone who had it blocked sorry