#it aint more complex than that friends

[othercrossee]

Could u imagine irida, altho trained for so long to be the next leader, never believed in herself to sucessfully be chosen? how she felt when her name was called upon after all day shed been telling her older friend palina she was the one to take on duty? Could u imagine the anxiety? The feeling that she had betrayed the only person who had treated her with an ounce of care? The feeling that her entire world was shifting? How she had to keep a smile and a prideful look to appear as the correct answer, a strong new leader to lead her people? How she realizes lina and her could never be friends on equal ground? Although it was never equal to begin with?

#z rambles #the *never equal to begin with* is about their age gap and personality differences. palina is older more calm collected responsible caring #and overall she was....perfect in iridas eyes. she admired her. maybe more than a friend and she was guilty #guilty of how much she was holding her driend to such extend but palina? seeinf irida train and become a leader was....conflicting #on one hand she deserves it she worked so hard but why am i. older and better in every way. discarded from the position #she was happy but she was upset. envious? but between them will aythinf change? hadnt they been.....equal? #baaically irida always see palina stabdinf taller better than her snd she was a mother figure she csnt surpass #so there was no equal in that dynamic #and now palina who had always been standinf tall feel irida is now above her and its strange she feels the dynamic had switched #and she wants it ti he normal. the same as back then but it csnt be cuz back then wasnt equal either #they were never stabding on equal ground. they were never close enough to understood each other #u see irida becoming leader wouldve put them on the same level right? but palina sees different and irida feels like its not right either #but rhats her guilt dripping hersekf talking #its just awful #its complex and its awful and things could nevee go back to how it was. cuz no natter what one of them or both will always be unhappy #to me. these two would have a talk and develop their relationship for years #this aint the type of shit that one talk was gonna fix everything. both of them got issues

[neonovember]

Hello, uhm, so this MAY be an uncomfortable thing to request I’m not too sure. It’s totally totally okay if it is absolutely feel free to ignore this, but the way you write Carmen is so so comforting. I have this neighbor that lives downstairs from me, I’ve lived in my apartment for two years but the past 4 months with this guy has been hell. I live in the U.K. and the people that own the building and the police don’t view my situation as anything dangerous or serious, despite the fact I have made numerous complaints and even the other neighbors in my building have complained about him. But he targets me the most and bangs on my door at ungodly hours and threatens the most horrible stuff because I’m a woman living alone. I’m honestly terrified but unless he physically does something there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry for the sob story but usually I always try and just picture Carmy as something comforting to help through this until I can be safe, would it be okay to request something like Carmen finding out about his gf losing sleep and constantly being terrified and deciding to take matters into his own hands, and demanding she moves in with him and helps pack her stuff because he will NOT stand for that shit (again totally 100% okay if you don’t feel comfortable responding)

oh my god anon, I'm so deeply sorry that you have to deal with such a shitty situation, and the fact that you have to wait to be physically attacked before the police can do anything? Fuck the justice system and fuck law enforcement. Don't every feel scared to send a request to make your day or week or fucking month better, it's why I'm here, and the fact that my writing can make you feel even a little better is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. God I just hope you're able to remain safe, call a friend or family to keep them posted in case anything happens, I'm so very sorry honey :(

Broken bones and soup

carmen berzatto x reader

warnings: misogyny, violence, feral!carmen makes an appearence, angst, horrible neighbours, angst, teeth rotting fluff, carmy feeding you

w/c: 5.3k

a/n: this was hard to write, i really wanted to do it right by you anon, and when have i ever written carmen without him breaking someones face?

The falling sun encapsulated the cerulean sky, exploding against the horizon in heated shades of orange, crimson and pink. The trail back to your apartment complex wasn’t long, but it gave enough time to bask in the warmth of evenings bathed in sunlight. It also conveniently enabled you to tell yourself you had gotten your sun for the day, rather than having to swallow pills you hated to swallow.

It was muscle memory however, your legs moved with the familiar comfort of the sidewalk, forgetting the stomach turning realisation of what had awaited you back at your apartment. 

It had been a couple months, four maybe 5, you didn’t really want to count the days having a violent neighbour moved in directly down your apartment. The other tenants who you've grown to know collectively bristled with the annoyance of a 30 something year old filling the usual peaceful nights with crashes and yells of broken plates and incoherent obscenities. 

When you had raised the issue to the landlord and even to the police, you had been shut down with a shrug of the shoulders. 

‘We can notice him with a noise complaint, but if he aint hurting anyone we can’t do much’. 

That had made you laugh a little then, before you had been close to bawling your eyes out and ripping out your hair. Sure he was loud, your neighbours from the other side of the apartment complex could attest to that, but it was so much more than loud fucking music, and somehow, you had bared the brunt of his violence. It was targeted, you knew it, and your legs began to shuffle at the thought of coming home to another violent outbursts at your door. 

You hadn't gotten any proper sleep for the past 4 months, waking up to loud banging at your door, and declarations of brutality he whispered through your keyhole. It was all empty threats, those men in clad uniform had told you when you woke up shaking with fear as he screamed taunts of murder from below, you had run out in your pyjamas and bunny slippers and they had told you they couldn't help you. 

There were not empty threats, and this wasn’t the hundreds of true crime shows you had binged, you felt it in your bones, you were a woman living with yourself for god sake, he was going to break down your door one day and hurt you, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt paralysed by the helplessness of it, forcing yourself to stay up past 12, the burn of your tired eyes forced open by the blue light of your phone, in case he tried breaking in. You had begun to keep a bat near your bed, a knife in the drawer of your bedside, and you felt fucking insane. Noone had made a major problem out of it, and yet you felt like he was one bad day from a murderous rampage.

Carmen could tell something had been wearing on your shoulders, the way your eyes blinked slowly, and the syrup slow movements of your limbs when you had visited the Beef not long ago. You couldn't bear to tell him, your past relationships had taught you enough not to unload all your problems onto another person, but it had gotten bad. You had started getting notices of concern from your boss, asking if you were alright, telling you how your performance had been declining.

You had quickly shut down any looks of concern thrown at you, this was something you had to deal with yourself, you didn’t want anyone, especially another woman to be faced with the brunt of his violence. You guzzled caffeine and energy drinks like it was water, and your limbs jittered with the rush of adrenaline until the peak had dropped and you felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.

You braced yourself as you turned the corner into your apartment complex, keeping your head down, and going through the carpack to avoid the hallway that was right next to his door. You felt your stomach drop, your keys pressed between your knuckles and you flickered your eyes up to the door of his apartment. You watched it like a hawk, ready to flee at any sign of opening, and when you had finally made it to the elevator, you breathed a sigh of relief like no other. The air suddenly fills your lungs once again.

Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket, and you reached out to grab it, the screen illuminated by Carmen’s text. You felt a tingle of glee shoot through you, biting back a smile at the thought of seeing him today.

“You still coming today for the family dinner?”

The beef had begun a sort of tradition, every last Friday of the month, they would close early and hold a sort of family dinner right out back near the tables and chairs. Everyone of the crew’s family and friends were invited to join, some bringing a plate or a drink or two. It was the highlight of the month, and you hadn't missed a Friday ever since Carmen and you had become something more than close friends.

You typed out a quick reply with a tongue in your cheek, as the elevator doors opened, you didn't look up right away, walking with your head down as you tucked your phone back into your pocket. It was a fault on your end, you should have looked up, at least then you could have braced yourself as your neighbour stood stationed near your door with a cheshire smile stretching ominously across his face. 

You wondered if you could run back into the elevator, but the doors had closed well before and you feared turning your back to him was an even worse fate. You walked towards him, plastering on a smile that didn't look even a little believable.

“Something I can do for you?” You ask, your voice heightened by a mix of fear and false confidence

“Hear you've been complaining about me” The man replies with a smile, his hair slicked back, the shadow of a badly shaven skin spiking up. His shirt reeks of sweat and stains of spilt takeaway and you have to take a tentative step back to escape the stench radiating off of him.

“Yeah, you might not realise it, but you have been a bit- uh loud, and the loud banging on my walls?” You prouch him, and his eyebrows rise in surprise, shaking his head with a laugh that horrified you.

“Am I scaring you?” The man replies 

You swallow as your eyes flicker to his burnt hazel ones, they stare down from above, almost mocking in the way they forced you to answer.

“Uh, uhm- well, a lot of us got work in the morning, and I can’t wake up if you're making a lot of noise during the night”

“Oh, is that right?” The man asks, scratching a hand across his jaw

“Well no one's been the one complaining but you” The man replies

“I don't think so many of us-”

“You saying I’m a liar??” The man suddenly shouts, and you can help yourself stepping back a distance quickly

The man watches the way you distance yourself away from him, his eyes flicker to the keys poking out from between your fingers and he bites back a laugh.

“So you are scared of me, liar.” The man spits out with venom, before stepping towards you, caging you to the wall as he whispers near your ear

“You think fucking keys are going to stop me? A little lady like you living here all by yourself?” The man digs his fingers into your sides, until you howl out and retch yourself away from him, you reach for your right side, holding the skin above your rib cage that had begun to swell and bruise.

“See how easy that was? A fucking pretzel in my hand” The man calls out with a smile, before walking back around the hallway corner with such ease and comfort that told you he knew the police wouldnt do shit.

Your hand shakes as you shove your key into your door, you have to hold your own hand to put it in, before shouldering your way through your door with wince, and dropping your bag and belongings to the floor.

You rush into your bathroom, undressing before your eyes flicker to your mirror, seeing the red rash of irritation and the start of a purple imprint of his claws shoved into the skin below your ribcage. You wince as you try to soothe it, the salty tears breaking down your waterline, you can't stop, the wretched sobs of your helplessness echoing off the bathroom walls.

You climb into the shower, sliding down to the bottom as the tears shake through you, you hug your knees to your chest, letting the warm water combine with your salty tears, so they become one, and you know longer now how terrified you are. You stay in the shower like this for a bit, letting the warmth and steam wiggle your body from its stone encapsulation.

You can hear the familiar jingle of your phone ringing from where you had haphazardly left it, and the memory of today's dinner comes rushing in. You had nearly forgotten, and whilst you were terrified to leave your home and go back into the hallway where it had happened, you couldn't let Carmen down.

So you had gotten up, in the same way you had fallen down, and tried to scrub away the smell of his day-old cigarettes and sweat until your skin burned, poking your head through a clean shirt and a skirt that hid the painful purple splotch that had begun to spread across your side.

Entering your quaint kitchen, you can’t stop your arm as it reaches for the brown liquid stored in that old glass bottle Sugar had told you was a century old. You didn't have a little liquid courage to make it past your goddamn threshold.

You downed it in a gulp, reaching for your bag and a pocket knife, just in case. The reality of that decision broke you a little, when did you start needing to armour yourself?

Your phone buzzed from its position edged between the living room couch, it was Carmen, again, telling you he was outside. Carmen had begun to ceremoniously show up to your apartment as the autumn had begun to bleed into the winter nights, and the sunlight had stretched until darkness hit by 5 in the afternoon. Any other time you would have chastised him till the point where he would stop, but now, with the reality of your neighbour, you felt a relief wash through your body at the thought of being close to him. You also don’t doubt he would have shown up anyway, ignoring your requests in the way he does when he thinks it's his responsibility.

You wouldnt say you had a lot of experience in relationships under your belt, but something spoke to you from within, carmen was something special, this was special, sacred in the way destiny was, and you shooke with the relentless fear of fucking it up. And scaring him away with your problems seemed to be on the very top of that list

You shake the thought from your head as you shut the door quietly, take a brisk pace as you walk but kind of run to the elevator. A neighbour you knew well stood near the doors, his dark auburn hair falling in front of his eyes, he nodded to you with a silent smile. He kept to himself most of the time, and you didn't know much about him, just that he always was tugging a sleeve down his left arm, but he always went out of his way to give you some sort of greeting.

The air between you was silent, as you were waiting for the ping of the elevator to drop to your door, and you heard a shuffling near you, your eyes watching the way he coughed and stared at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.

“Heard something out in the hallway, it wasn’t him again was it?” The man replied, concerned about lacing his features as his eyes seemed to be fixated on the way you leaned on one side of your body a little.

“Uh no, it’s- it’s alright, I guess it was my dues you know? Dealing with a shitty neighbour at least once” You reply with a tight smile, trying to poke fun at the very depressing thought.

The man nodded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, your neighbours had known that he was loud, knew that you had dealt the worst of it being right above him, but they were clueless to his taunts and threats that he said into your door at night. You think the man next to you had an idea though, the way his eyes scanned anything like he was always assessing, always calculating the world around him. 

It was also because your neighbour was nowhere to be found whenever he was around, you whispered a prayer of thanks that he was taking the elevator down with you, with his sweatpants and top, it was like he knew, a silent nod of protection.

Before you could open your mouth to whisper a thanks, the doors of the elevator had opened, a tired mom and her two energetic kids passed between you both. It was funny, you could see yourself in her, the drag of dark circles and the hunch of her shoulders mirroring your own. 

You knew the very shakily painted on makeup did little to hide the exhaustion on your face and you rushed to enter the elevator to escape the thought. The motion of the elevator moving down nauseated you a little, churning your stomach in the way it always did with motion, but your apartment wasn’t big and soon enough the music of the elevator turned to a halt as the doors opened up to the ground floor.

You could see the headlights of Carmen's car through the automatic doors of your complex, and you gave your neighbour a smile before rushing to jump into the comfort of Carmen and his very, very warm car.

-- -

The car ride to the beef has been silent, just the syrupy beat of jazz from the car speakers and the burn of Carmen’s gaze searing a hole through you, you feared if you caught his eyes and the look in them the entire interaction today would tumble from your tongue.

You couldn’t ruin today, it was tradition, you had just begun to become folded into it. The joy of Tina calling your name for a hug, the talks about the new pastry ideas with Marcus, Sydney’s laughter, it soothes you like a balm, and you were sure the nausea crawling through your stomach would dissipate the second you entered.

But it didn’t, the beautiful lantern lights from outside the Beef glittered against the Chicago moonlight and the smell of Italian meatballs engulfed your senses and you still felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

You had said your hellos to everyone, biting back a yelp as Tina’s hand pressed against the bruise on your side, and nodding to Richie’s rambles whilst you felt outside of your own skin.

Your mind kept replaying the scene of him lunging st you, bristling your skin till goosebumps spread through, until your mind was exhausted from fear and well, fucking exhaustion and Carmen had to call your name too many times to rip you from your thoughts.

“Hey, you alright?” Carmen asks with that soft honey tone he keeps for you.

You nod with a smile, and Carmen’s eyes shift towards your plate untouched. It was your favourite, a twist on Osso Buco and yet it laid un moving, Carmen knew it, you did too, and you held back tears as Carmen simply nodded, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries.

It was the first lick of the start of something, the both of you, the bloom of a companionship Carmen felt was destined, like it was seared into the sand years before you both had even come into existence. And Carmen was new to this, and that opened up a whole can of worms, he didn’t want to fuck it up, he didn’t want to think about fucking it up, but god did he always seem to fuck it up.

You reached across the table to grab the jar of water, your shirt riding up without you noticing. Tina’s eyes widen at the peek of a purple imprint from under your shirt and she has nearly drops her fucking fork

“Baby? What happened to your side?” Tina replies with concern, her voice is quiet but the tables loud boisterous conversations begin to slow down.

You tug your shirt down, and you burn with guilt like you had been caught with this big secret. Carmen immediately looks towards your side, his eyes scanning the way you since a little as your finger brushes against it.

“Nothing, uh um I fell” You don't even believe yourself

“That looks more than something you get tripping over your feet darling, did something happen?”

“What? What’s she saying honey? What did you see Tina?” Tina’s gaze flutters to Carmen, and there’s a pause like she’s assessing whether it was Carmen’s doing before the reality of who he is hits her. It was ingrained in every woman, and Carmen wouldn’t be an exception. Even for a second.

“Looks like someone’s goddam fist imprinted into her skin” 

The restaurant is completely quiet now, and your head falls to your uneaten plate of veal, they look towards you in concern hearing the end of Tina’s words.

Carmen lifts your shirt, and you don’t stop him, the reality of your attack is shown right there in front of him, the imprint of a large hand bruising purple and blue.

Carmen’s eyes burn into the skin, his fists shaking as he remains silent, the rest of the family look on in horror, whispers of “holy fuck?” and eyes seeing the way Carmen practically vibrates, like he’s a second away from exploding.

“..Who did this?”

“It was my fault- I”

“Who did this baby? Who hurt you?” Carmen replies with an exhaled murmur.

“I’m, uh, Uhm- he- oh Carmen” You can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in your throat and you can’t get them out. You feel trapped, your body is sweating like you’re caged, like you're wading through a current and you're losing yourself to the weight of it, your breakdown on display for the whole world to see.

You blink back tears as Carmen tilts your chin to face him, and the look on his face, the look of distraught and fear that blossoms across his features un tetheres the tightly wrapped self control you had formed.

And Carmen scoops you up into his arms so that the entire family doesn’t have to see you break into his shoulder.

His soothing words are like a balm to your distress and he walks you, bridal style to the first aid cabinet, sitting you down on the counter, wiping away your tears as his fingers shake and his throat bobs with a tight swallow. He hastily tugs your shirt, kissing back the howls of pain as he whispers “I know, I know baby girl, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

His soft fingers press gently against the bruise as he rubs a heating ointment across it, he wraps a warm compress around it as bandage and his eyes are avoiding your own as he focuses his fingers on your skin.

“Carmen?” You whisper, the hiccups of tears resounding from your throat, Carmen reaches for a painkiller, placing it in your palm with a whisper of affirmation, he gently tips your head back as he pours water into your mouth, and you swallow it quickly, before looking back at him.

“Carmen? Please” You reply, had you done it, had you ruined everything?

“I can’t look at you because I fear I might break, and- and I can’t right now okay darling? I have to find, I have to find who did this, and I need to make it right, hm? I need to make sure your safe because god my heart is outside of my chest and I can’t feel anything but fear” Carmen replies with a tight low voice, his fists shake as he pressed them into the counter beside your thighs, but he looks up to meet your gaze anyway, and he smiles tightly as the tears stream down.

“Oh Carmen, this isn't on you, you couldn't have possibly known” You reply, wiping a hand across his cheeks.

“How can you say that? I am your, I am meant to protect you, and you, you come limping in without me noticing, fucking Tina saw it before I could, and i hate myself for it” Carmen replies, his cerulean blues shining bright against the shine of tears.

“Who did this, someone at work? A guy on the street?” Carmen replies and you flick away from his gaze, hand falling to your lap as your tongue burns with the desire to just say it all.

“You've got to tell me baby girl, you have to know I've got to make it right, I won’t sleep till I do. '' Carmen replies with a pained cry, like his heart is breaking from the thought of letting this go un avenged. And it's the tortured look on his face, it's the shake of his limbs like he wants to destroy and burn the entire world around him till he finds whoever has done this that uncurls your tongue and lets everything out in the open.

“What? This has been going on for months? Why didn’t you tell me?” Carmen replies, his thumb rubbing soft circles across your thigh.

“Didn’t want to scare you away Carmen, i love-i I like you a lot, more than I have anyone and I didn't want to fuck it up and unload all my problems onto you like a dumpster” You reply, and it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, and when Carmen looks up at you in disbelieved confusion.

“Huh? Oh sweet girl, I’m meant to help you bear it all, that’s why I'm here, and the idea of you thinking I'll love you any less, that I won't help you because of something like this haunts me. I’m meant to protect you yeah? That’s my fucking job, and I’ve failed it” Carmen replies with a grunt.

“No one has said anything like that to me” You say, eyes looking up to him, you weren't shocked, but you weren't, were not shocked, never had you experienced this, this burning adoration for another person, this soft warmth that burst through you at the sound of Carmen's voice promising his devotion, promising his unyielding protection. It armoured you more than a pocket knife ever could.

Carmen presses a soft kiss to your head, before shuffling around the kitchen, walking back into the dining tables, hushing out replies of ‘she's okay’ before coming back in with your things under his arm.

“What are you doing?” You reply in question, as he slowly picks you up with an arm, and gently places you back down. His eyes are constantly flickering to your side, like he’s torturing himself with the image of the first time he saw the horrific bruise across your side.

He had never felt true fear until then, the shatter of his heart beneath his breast as he realises you had gotten hurt and he didn't even fucking realise. Nothing had mattered but your safety and he scared himself with how much his body shook with a desire to destroy the person responsible.

“I’m driving back to your apartment, where you're going to grab your necessities, whilst I pay a visit to your little neighbour downstairs. You’re staying with me, for however long,” Carmen replies with a sneer, walking you through the back door, which you were all too thankful for, you couldn't bear to see the look on the crew’s faces if you had to walk back in.

“Carmen you can’t” You reply rushed, as Carmen slid you into the passenger seat, before clicking on your seat belt for you. He cocks his head, before raising his eyebrows

“Oh, I can’t? Honey, the police don’t do their job and my baby get’s fucking hurt. Nah, that doesn't work for me” Carmen replies, before rushing to enter the driver's seat, shifting the gear into drive before speeding down the city streets. 

His focused on the road, his face unblinking and he grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, you can’t stop looking at him, his gorgeous under the moonlight of the skies, his cheeks crimson from his tears, his cerulean blues calling to you like the sea, and the curl of his blonde hair falling like waves.

The view of your apartment complex comes into your vision as Carmen turns into the carpark in one swift move, you can’t stop the shake of your fingers and Carmen wants to slam his first into the steering wheel when he notices.

“You alright?” Carmen replies “You can stay here, I’ll grab whatever you need”

You want to stay, want to remain in the safety of his sleek tinted windows, but you want to face it too, and somehow that need is more important, he doesn’t get to win, no fucking way.

You unclip your seat belt, opening the door as you turn to him “You going to show me how you protect me or what?”

Carmen bites back a smile, god he was so fucking proud. He could tell you were scared shit less, and yet you fought through that fear, and god you mesmerised him. You were stronger than he could ever be, and he wanted to take that burden from you, carry it himself so you didn't have to.

Carmen jogs to the back of the car, reaching into the boot before the clunk of wood on gravel meets your ears. Carmen nods towards you, as he grips a bat under his arm

“He puts a bruise on you and i break all his fucking bones” Carmen replies, and you can’t stop the joy that image brings you

Carmen walks you to your apartment, waiting outside like a hawk, his bat tight against his grip as he watches the hallways, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you feel infinitly and utterly safe.

You throw your toiletries into a bag, grabbing a few nights of clothes and your work shoes. You eyes flicker around your apartment, it had been home to you for the past 4 years, and yet it felt so foreign to you now, you had grown to attest this place, this place you had filled with so much of yourself, and you hate him so much at that moment, for making you feel this way about a place you had once loved.

You leave your apartment with the door shut closed.

Carmen carries your bag and places them back into the back seat of the car, and as he begins to walk towards the apartment of your neighbour you reach a hand out to stop him.

“Honey, I’ve got to-” Carmen begins before you shut him quickly

“I want to watch” You reply quietly, and Carmen’s eyes flicker, before lacing his fingers into yours, as you both knock on his door.

There's a grumble before the clank of a chain slides open, and his face appears as the door opens to him, you can see the illuminated light of his TV glaring, the floor covered with pizza boxes and beer cans. You see in real time, how his face morphs from anger into fear, his eyes dropping as he sees the way Carmen practically shakes, and the man isn’t able to let out a word, a protest or wail of a plea before the crack of Carmen's wooden bat swings through the air.

-- -

“Are you sure he isn't dead?” You reply, as you dip a washcloth into warm water, wiping away the blood across Carmen’s neck

“He isn’t going to die if I wasn’t the one causing it, besides, if he does, that’s God finishing off the rest of it”. Carmen replies, raising his face so that you cleaned the last of the streaks of blood splattered across his jaw.

Carmen reaches for your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of them as he looks at you in that way like he yearns for you to be closer. 

“You need sleep, but first you need to eat, yeah?” Carmen replies, shushing your protests and he carries you to his room in his arms, after he notices the exhaustion in your limbs. It’s dark, illuminated only by the wall to ceiling windows that look into the busy city streets and light up sky scrapers. 

The sheets are strewn across the bed, haphazard like Carmen had rushed to get them off of him in the early mornings. Carmen slides you into them, tucking you within the soft pillowy blanket, sitting on the edge as he caresses your cheek softly.

He leaves for a moment, rushing to make you something to eat, his skin crawling with a need to feel you against him, nearly tripping over himself as he walks back into his room with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water.

Carmen sits next to you again, pressing spoonfuls of soup into your mouth and wiping the edges ceremoniously as you rest against the headboard half asleep. 

You don’t notice the way he looks at you, like he's trying to memorise every dip and curve of your face, his fingers clutching the spoon tight like he’s going to break if he doesn't hold you against him.

“Honey?” Carmen replies hushed

“Hmh?” You reply, your eyes heavy as the comfort of Carmen's warmth spreads through you.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you tell me everything okay? Everything” Carmen replies pained, like the events that transpired somehow still were not resolved, like breaking the man's legs wasn't enough for him.

“Okay” You reply, and Carmen places the dishes onto the bedside table, leaving it to the morning because he can't keep you away from him any longer.

Carmen joins you in the bed, the left side of his bed finally taken by somebody for the first time in a long time. Tugging you against him, Carmen curls your body to lay against his chest, his fingers softly gracing your back, soft circles that had begun to lull you to a sleep you hadn’t felt in months, years even.

The beat of Carmen's heart joins with yours, together and entwined like how it was always meant to be, why had Carmen waited so long? Why had he let time pass without you tucked under him, safe within his arms and away from all the horrors of the world.

It’s only when Carmen notices the shift in your breathing, falling into a soft exhale before he even lets the whispers of sleep grip him within its grasps, his shoulders finally release from its tensed state once he knows you've finally fallen into a sleep that had been kept from you.

“You don’t know how much I love you baby girl, it fucking scares me, but I’ll keep reminding you until infinity if I have to, until you know it deep down like I do” Carmen mumbles out, his eyes falling heavy and you grips you against his chest.

You don’t really know how, but even between the state of sleep and consciousness, you hear him, and you whisper between the space in your bodies, that you already do.

#neonovember #neo writes #requests #requests open #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear #the bear fx #the bear season 2 #feral!carmen #feral!carmen berzatto #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto x fem!reader #carmy x reader #carmy fic #carmy #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x angst #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto x fluff #carmen berzatto masterlist #carmy berzatto #carmy x fem!reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fanfiction #angst

[pedgito]

Hii omg i just discovered you account and I’m obsessed with you writing 🖤

I have a request if that’s okay

Something like reader has this big crush (kinda obsession lol) with Eddie she’s always looking at him, going to the Hideout every tuesday to watch him perform and buys him weed but she doesn’t actually smokes and eddie notices that and thinks is cute so, so when she meets him in the woods to buy weed eddies like “i know you aint smoking that, why dont you tell me what you really want from me? Why dont you just ask me yo fuck you” or something like that 😩

author’s note: full disclaimer, i'm so sleep deprived on nyquil from how sick i've been, so this will either be really good smut, or complete disjointed and all over the place, either way, i hope it's not too horrible lol

cw: 18+ (minors dni), pining!reader (but also eddie too), god complex!eddie (if you squint) fingering/sex in the back of his van, lots of teasing, protected sex!! (i know, such a shocker coming from me), i'm probably missing something so just lmk!

word count: 5k

You didn’t think it was the best idea, but it made the most sense. Buy the weed, talk to Eddie, offer it up to some stoner willing to pay the same price—it had been seamless, almost too easy, and Eddie never seemed to question it either, despite the fact that you were as clean-cut and proper as it got, you’ve never been around anyone while they were smoking weed, let alone do it yourself. The prospect was terrifying, fear that you might lose control over your body and thoughts, end up being one of the people that experienced terrible highs—so you steered clear of actually trying it for yourself. Besides, it was the only excuse it gave you to talk to Eddie.

It wasn’t that he fully ignored you—you still had classes together, passed each other in the hall on occasion, but you both ran in completely different groups, which didn't leave much room to get to know each other or even have a normal conversation. 

You wouldn’t call it obsession, either—because Eddie seemed as intrigued to talk to you as you were to him—you were an enigma he couldn’t figure out, so many mysteries wrapped up into one, he was dying to figure you out. And sometimes your friends like to sneak over to The Hideout, it’s not the first, second, or even third choice of hangout spots on your list—but Eddie performs weekly, every Tuesday night, it was a highlight of what was usually a very dreary, miserable day. You tried hard not to be noticed, always shoving yourself in the furthest corner of the bar, the lights dimmer near the back, which helped obscure your face—though Eddie, he spotted you the moment you walked in, every time, but you didn’t need to know that. 

It goes on for weeks, nearly three months into the beginning of your senior year—and Eddie’s third go at it, until he feels the itch, the nerve, just to say something. He doesn’t really know what to expect of it, but he’s curious. Eddie doesn’t understand why you’re always so skittish or nervous around him, keeping a few feet away, but staring at him like there was nothing more important on your mind—you had the prettiest smile, which Eddie had been on the receiving end of more than a few times. He just wanted to know more about you—and why you thought buying weed from him was your only option; frankly, you were taking away from his business in some form, buying a hefty amount with no real use, he could’ve been dragging in new customers with that merchandise, but you disposed of it like nothing. Eddie was challenged in some form, unable to focus and pass his classes like the rest of his classmates, but he wasn’t dumb—you didn’t reek of weed, not like most of the people he sold to, you always agreed with what he offered, never arguing on price or strains—you had no idea what you were doing, it was so blatantly obvious. Eddie tried to play it off as long as he could, but it hit him one day—nestled on the edge of the picnic table, feet dangling just above the freshly fallen leaves, the dried foliage cracking beneath your feet.

“I’m gonna have to start giving you discounts,” Eddie comments jokingly, a slight hint of teasing in his voice as passes you the small sandwich sized bag of weed, dangling it in front of you, “you’re drilling through my product with these weekly meetups.”

“Sorry,” You reply lamely, grabbing the baggie and shoving it into your pocket quickly, shoving your other hand into the pocket to match, yanking your jacket over your middle as you talked to him, insecure of his openly he looked at you—it was like he could see right through you, “I guess I can buy less, if it’s really a problem.”

“No, no,” Eddie stammers, hands shaking out in front of him, he turns around to fiddle with the items in his chest—a mess of different items: papers for rolling, more weed, a lighter, and a fat wad of cash. You were completely out of your element with him, all the time, “—you know, since you’re such a loyal customer, I was thinking—“

“What?” You reply eagerly, forgetting self control for a moment, face blushing a deep red, cheeks burning like you’d just stood over a fire.

Eddie laughs softly, reaching in to pull a joint between his fingers—new and untouched. He’s got a look on his face, like he’s about to engage in a dangerous game, ready to pull you down with him. It’s terrifying, but you’re nearly on your tiptoes now, shifting awkwardly in the silence—maybe you should run. 

Instead, you stay, “I was gonna offer you a freebie.” Eddie admits, placing the joint between his soft, pink lips, flicking at the lighter with difficulty—he hits the bottom a few times, still nothing. The calluses on his fingers were a pain in the ass and he wants to put you on the spot, seeing if you crack under the pressure. It’s the perfect opportunity. “Do you mind?” He asks, voice muffled around the joint in his mouth.

You nod hesitantly, pulling the lighter from his grip gently—it wasn’t the first time you’ve ever held a lighter, you weren’t that clueless, but to try and think of a way out of this situation, it seemed impossible. You flick the lighter a few times, the flame finally coming to life, Eddie leans forward slowly, letting the end burn until it smokes, inhaling quickly. You make a subtle move back, pressing the lighter into his hand. You squint, the haze of smoke hitting your face. It makes your eyes water and your nose burn, you hate it. The appeal was never apparent to you—and you didn’t judge Eddie, but it always seemed so pointless to you, throwing away money for a temporary high. 

“Here,” Eddie says roughly, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment, breathing out as you took the joint from his fingers, “—it’s good shit, I promise.”

You pluck it delicately, held between your thumb and pointer finger—it’s so close, maybe you could just fake it, but now Eddie’s staring at you, waiting. You’re scrambling for a reason to weasel your way out of this. 

“I, uh—I can’t, Eddie.” You tell him softly, passing the joint his way, “My parents will know, I can’t just go home smelling like that.”

He stifles the laugh at your choice of words, the irony so relevant.

“I can smell the weed I gave you from your pocket,” Eddie points out, “how do you explain that?”

“I leave it in my bag—and then I move it, I don’t keep it in the house.” You explain weakly. Your heart is hammering in your chest, the sound of blood rushing and pounding in your ears. 

“How often do you smoke then?” Eddie asks curiously, trying to seem less abrasive with his questions. He wants to catch you in your lie, but he doesn’t want to scare you away.

He’s always been intrigued with, infatuated—he didn’t want you running in the other direction. 

You didn’t know what sounded believable, so you settled on, “Uh—every other day, sometimes twice on the weekends.”

That bag was enough weed to last anyone a month, as long as they didn’t overindulge. Eddie pushed in further, pointing out the slight inconsistency.

“Oh—because I usually only give that much to the real, real heavy smokers—they smoke at least twice a day, every day, and it still takes them a couple weeks to move through that much product.”

And if you heart couldn’t physically drop to your stomach, it still definitely felt like it.

“Uh, it’s—uh,” You try desperately to recover, “I share with friends too, so it goes pretty quick.”

“Aren’t you generous?” Eddie teases, having smoked through nearly half the joint by now, “Your nerdy little friends? The one’s in that book club?”

It was a soft jab, a pot calling the kettle black.

“It’s not nerdy,” You defend passionately, “you literally play D&D. That’s not fair.”

The squeak in your voice has Eddie smiling behind the joint, appreciating just how fiery you could be. 

“Why do you even care?” You ask, frustrated with him, it felt like he was picking on you for no reason. 

Eddie sighs softly, “I’m sorry—I’m sorry,” He stresses out, hoping you’ll relax, he sees your shoulders settle and takes that as a sign, “I’m just trying to figure you out—we talk a lot in passing, but I barely know you.”

It’s all your fault, your shyness, your innate fear of being caught in your lies—they were harmless, but it still felt wrong.

“It’s okay.” You tell him quietly, hands fisted in your pockets in tight balls of frustration. 

Eddie laughs to himself, nodding for you to take a seat on the bench, you're hesitant but listen anyways, taking whatever bait he is offering. If you weren’t going to fess up, Eddie was going to drop his knowledge of it to you and wait for your reaction—it could go horribly, but it was worth the risk. It wasn't like he couldn’t notice the way stared at his lips every time he took a drag from the joint, or how he licked his chapped lips frequently, chewed at his bottom one out of habit; you were mesmerized. 

“I wanna show you something,” He explains, squeezing in beside you, the rough material of his jeans rubbing against the outside of your leg, the prickle of the wood digging into your thighs where your dress didn’t cover, he grabs his supplies and sets the rolling paper out, a small bagging already ground up weed that was ready to go, and makes a small motion with his hand, “but I wanna see how well you do it first.”

“Eddie—“ You panic, glancing between him and the items in front of you. You didn’t have the slightest clue how to roll a joint, you wouldn’t even know where to start, Eddie looks at you pointedly, eyebrows raised slightly in question, “—I, uh—“

Eddie moves silently, grabbing the supplies for himself, working quickly and expertly, like he’d done it a million times. It’s surprisingly fascinating, eyes locked on his tongue as it pokes out to seal the paper together, his eyes flicking to your momentarily.

He set it down gently, hand curled up on the table as he looked at you, other hand resting against his thigh, he fiddled with his rings with the pad of his thumb, letting the silence linger for a moment.

Then finally, “You've never smoked before,” Eddie deduces, smirk crawling up his face, “have you?”

You shake your head slightly in defeat, his fingers curl against the denim, he is desperately holding back, your wide eyes staring up at him. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy weed to talk to me.”

And if you weren’t dying of embarrassment before, you were now.

“That’s—that’s not,” You fumble with your words, trying to find some kind of remark or comeback, or just explain yourself—nothing ever comes.

“What’s the real reason?” Eddie’s turned toward you now, leg swung over the bench so he’s straddling it, facing you’re curled in body, still struggling to keep your distance, jacket hugged right around your midsection. 

“My friend’s are scared of you,” You admit, eyes turned down toward the table, “—I had to find a way to talk to you without seeming obvious.”

Oh, it was very obvious. Eddie doesn’t want to strike you while you’re down though, so he keeps that to himself. 

“So, you like me?” He teases, nudging your arm with the soft touch of his knuckle, smiling sweetly at you. If your heart wasn’t already pounding out of your chest, it was definitely going to burst if he kept looking at you like that. 

You shrug indifferently—you weren’t sure of what your feelings were; curiosity, yes—the idea of trying not to obtain something seemed impossible, it was intriguing, to say the least, and it wasn’t like you were immune to all the rumors about Eddie. People constantly talked about him around school—either hateful or downright rude, but there were a few that talked about him like he was god personified—you wouldn’t necessarily call yourself religious, but it wasn’t going to stop you from finding out how true those rumors were.

“Like is a strong word,” You laugh slightly, crossing your left leg over your right, shoes shifting together under the table. You felt a few raindrops hit your shoulder, pulling you both from the intense conversation, “—I should probably go.”

“Wait—“ Eddie stops you, grasping the wrist of the hand that was still shoved firmly in your pocket, “—don’t go.”

And against every fiber of your being, you nod, letting him lead you down a path you weren’t sure you’d be able to feel remorse over.

“Why do you park so far away from the school?” You ask randomly, letting him drag you along the way, feet desperate to keep up with his wide strides. 

“Principal Higgins would skin my ass if he found out I was smoking on campus in the mornings,” Eddie explains, glancing back at your briefly as he reaches to open the rear of his van, giving you a full view of the back—it was surprisingly unmessy, aside from a few empty cans of beer and some suspiciously wadding up pieces of tissues and magazine pages, it wasn’t unwelcome—though, it reeked of weed and cigarettes, “—well, here’s my home away from home—trailer, whatever.”

Your parents would surely kill you if you went home smelling like either of those. 

Eddie leans inside, allowing you to crawl underneath the bridge his arm made, pointedly avoiding the opportunity for him to look up your dress, turning on your backside to scoot in beneath him—he looks mostly unphased, maybe you were reading into this too much. It could just be an innocent gesture to get to know you, altering motives aside—not that you would mind; you were hoping for it, selfishly enough.

You strip off your jacket once you’re seated, feet crossed out in front of you as you lay your jacket over your lap. Eddie closes the doors with a rough tug, nearly knocking himself on his ass, before finally taking a seat across from you, let’s outstretched around your own, one foot planted against the floorboard to allow him to rest a hand on his knee. 

“So—what did you want to—“ You start, quickly interrupted by Eddie motioning you over, you hesitate for a moment, debating whether or not it was worth it—your body moves on its own accord though, pushing up with your fingertips until you’re crawling toward him, breast peeking through the fabric that hung down. Eddie didn’t avert his gaze, though you’re almost positive his eyes are solely locked in yours, heated and intense as he stared you down, face still holding every bit of its softness.

You shift to sit beside him, but his hand comes up to stop you, “Come here,” His voice is soft, pleasing—like he knows what you want, it’s exactly what he needs, he’s more than willing to give you whatever you were hoping for, “right here.” He instructs, watching as you hesitantly swung your leg over his thigh, his left shifting down to accommodate room for you, the back of your thighs settling against the top of his, dress flowing out over his jeans, covering all the rips and holes that showed off his pale skin.

Eddie’s hands slip over the fabric of your dress gently, testing his boundaries, still holding his gaze on your face, “Why don’t you tell me what you really want?” He asks with a hint of knowing to his voice—he just wanted to hear you say it. “No more lies—or buying weed off of me for no reason.”

You put petulantly, shoulders falling slack as you watched his hands travel further up your dress, settling on your waist, the heat of his hands seeping through the thin cotton material, he squeezed gently, you gasped, “I’ve heard…things.” It’s a lame response, but it’s all you can manage.

“Things?” Eddie mocks, fingers coming around to fiddle with the tie on your dress, only lingering and never pulling, he wouldn’t take that step unless you allowed him.

“Girls talk about—you—and how good you are at,” His ringed fingers slip under the string, pulling against the strings, “stuff—like, with sex and all that.”

Eddie chuckles darkly, pulling a hand away to tilt your head up to look at him, rubbing tenderly at the skin of your jaw, “Sweetheart, if you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do was ask.”

If only it were that easy—you’d never be bold enough to say it, not without a heavy amount of coercion, and a lot of teasing, it seemed pathetic to say it so simply—part of you enjoyed the game he was playing at. 

“I’m not like that,” You confess, “—too scared.”

Eddie nods slightly, “Too shy,” He notes, thumb dragging along your pursed lips, pulling them apart gently, “that’s okay.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” You laugh nervously, “I still—still think you’re really cute,” You admit, “and you’re so nice to me—“

“An adorable girl who buys all my weed and will do anything to talk to me?” Eddie asks redundantly, “I’d be stupid not to be.”

Eddie takes a moment, breaking the heated facade, “Say—what have you been doing with all the weed?”

You wonder if you should lie, deciding if it’s worth confessing over—but it seemed like everything was already being laid bare, “Uh, this guy—his name is Rick. I sold it to him really cheap, I just wanted to get rid of it.”

“Rick?” Eddie questions like he wants you to elaborate.

“Always smells like weed, looks kinda homeless—he hangs out behind the Rec center near my house.” You tell him honestly, and Eddie can feel the proverbial light bulb switching on in his head.

“You’re selling weed back to Reefer Rick?” He asks with a slight hint of incredulousness in his voice—it bordered on betrayal.

“I—I don’t know who he is!” You say defensively, “He didn’t seem sketchy or anything—did I do something wrong?”

“No—it’s just—“ Eddie laughs at the ridiculousness of it all, “—I’m not selling you anymore weed, sweetheart.”

“That’s fair,” You say on a small sigh, “stuff is gross anyways.”

“And you’re sitting on the lap of Hawkins second biggest pothead,” Eddie challenges, “so what does that say about you?”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try you,” You reply boldly, voice still too soft and innocent, “—it’s not the same, you know.”

Eddie pulls his bottom lip between his teeth slowly, like he’s struggling to hold off whatever is eating at him, eyes half lidded and staring straight through you. 

“Tell me what you want.” Eddie demands slowly, other hand joining your face, adjusting your head until it’s locked between his grip, assuring you tell him directly rather than to your lap.

“I want you to touch me.” You admit shyly, his face pulling up in a smile

“I am touching you.” He points out; the smartass he’s known to be. “Show me.”

Shaky hands pull at his fingers, curling around his open palm until his hand is settled under your dress, pressed against the sticky, wet material of your underwear—there is no reason to feel shame now, not with the full grin that spreads across his face.

“I knew it.” He snarls, fingers rubbing soft circles into the material, the cold press of the fabric making you squirm, “How long?”

“How long?” You repeat, confused at his questioning.

“Since you’ve been touched.” He clarifies.

“A few months,” You tell him, “I had this thing back in the summer—whatever, it doesn’t really matter—“

Eddie laughs at you rambling, an attempt to settle your rattled nerves. “It’s fine—I was just gonna say you’re really wet—I’ve never, never touched a girl for the first time and had it feel like that,” He tells you honestly, “it takes time—god, can’t believe I could’ve had you all this time.”

“All this time?” 

“You really think it was all one-sided?” Eddie asks, “Sweetheart—I’ve known for weeks that you weren’t smoking that weed.”

“I guess I wasn’t very smart about it.”

Eddie shakes his head in amusement, “Doesn’t matter—we’re here now. Can I touch you?”

“You are.”

“Not how I want to.”

Your eyes widen at his admission, nodding shakily in response. His hand slipped under the fabric of your panties, one large finger running down your folds, ghosting over your already sensitive clit, dipping his finger inside of you instantly, a sharp gasp ripping from your chest as you gripped his shoulders, leaning forward slightly at the sudden intrusion.

Eddie looks up at you, your mouth hanging open slightly as he works his finger inside of you slowly, “Can I?” He asks, mouth parted slightly as he looks down toward your breasts, soft skin peeking out the top of your dress.

You nod fervently, exasperated by his constant polite questioning. “Eddie—stop asking, just do it.”

“Just wanna be sure.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want it—all of it.” You tell him honestly, “Plus, it’s ruining the whole—thing everyone says about you.”

“Thing?” He laughs softly, mouthing over your breasts.

“They—they say you’re like—I don’t know,” You feign the importance of it, it doesn’t really matter, “that you’re a god—with, you know.”

“A god?” Eddie teases, testing the word on his tongue, taking a small nip at your chest, your breath catching, “You think I’m a god?”

“Not me,” You shake your head, “it’s just what I’ve heard.”

“But, I’m sure you thought about it—so be honest with me.”

You sigh, shoving his face against your breasts to muffle his endless rant, “Jury’s still out—we’ll see.”

Eddie hums against your skin, dragging his tongue through the valley of your breasts, somehow having worked another finger inside you without you noticing, so caught in staring at his mouth that it’s an afterthought, but then he’s curling his fingers and you can’t do anything but moan, head falling back in anguish, your stomach tightening at the sensation.

“Condoms?” Eddie asks hopefully, he could feel his cock straining painfully against the line of his zipper, he was sure you felt it too, he wanted nothing more than to relieve that ache. 

“Oh, fuck—no, I don’t have any.” You say with deep regret, wishing you had thought ahead, had some type of courage that you could turn things into more, but no—and now here you were. 

“Wait—“ Eddie yelps, pulling back from your chest, “—passenger side, under the dash,” He points in that direction, removing his hand gently to allow you to scramble toward the front of the van, yanking open the compartment to find two dust covered foil packets.

“God—these things have to be a hundred years old,” You complain, grabbing at the items and returning to Eddie, tossing them into his lap, “are we sure that’s safe?”

Eddie takes a hesitant look, nodding gleefully as he reads the black print, “Thank god—they’re still good for a few months.” You look at him with narrowed eyes, wondering why he had such a decrepitated pair stashed away.

“We got them during one of those safe sex classes,” He says defensively, “better safe than tied down with a kid, right?”

He had a point—plus, you were more than eager to move things along.

You reach for the tie of your dress, struggling to find the string at this ankle, Eddie noticed, “Hey, don’t worry about—“ He says soothingly, “just take your underwear off—they’re already soaked to nothing anyways.”

“God—shut up,” You reply lightheartedly, stripping yourself of the garment before returning to his lap, watching as he pulled himself out of his pants in hurry, red leaking tip screaming for relief, holding the shaft firmly in his hand while he ripped at the foil with his teeth, grabbing the rubber and throwing the trash to the side.

“Wait—“ You interrupt, pointing at the condom in between his teeth, “can I?”

Normally he’d find it weird, but it was the ultimate turn on when it came from you—curious hands and curious minds, he couldn’t deny you that.

“I’ve just—never,” Most guys refused to wear condoms, so it was kind of fascinating, “—forget it.”

“Oh—of course,” He obliged, handing the protection over to you, watching as you slowly rolled the latex over his tip, down his shaft, until it stopped near the base, fingertips brushing through his curls faintly, “—I always wear one, I don’t see why guys complain about it. It really doesn’t make a difference.”

You laugh softly, “Well, aren’t you a gentleman?”

“A godly gentleman, I hope.”

Your smirk softly, guiding your hips over his own, letting him rub his wide, aching tip through your folds, gathering up some of your slick before slipping in slowly, allowing you to adjust to the girth of him. You let out a quiet sigh, hips rocking slightly as you forced him deeper and deeper, a collective groan from the both of you when he was fully seated inside you.

“Let me untie your dress,” Eddie practically begs, yearning for the sight of your bare breasts and soft stomach as he fucked into you, wanting to see your body shift with every movement, “yeah?”

You nod, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you shifted your hips slightly, small lifted motions as you moved against his dick, Eddie muffled the groans in the alcove of your neck, fumbling with the tie until the dress fell loose, pooling at your hips.

“There we go.” He sighs in relief, pulling at your arms until they’re resting at your side, giving him the perfect view of you, so wound up and panting for relief, hair askew and in your face, much like his own. “Touch yourself, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t a new concept, you did it often—just never in the presence of others. But, Eddie sent a surge of confidence through you, something completely unexpected. Your fingertips dragging against the skin gently, body breaking out in goosebumps at the sensation, you squeeze at your breasts, receiving a small grunt from Eddie as he thrust into your harder, eyes locked on you, alternating between your working hands and exasperated face. 

“Fuck—I thought you were so innocent,” He laughs warmly, hands gripping at your hips, thumbs digging into the curve of the bone settled their, rocking you in time with his eager thrusts, forceful and totally in control, “guess I was wrong.”

“Surprise.” You mock breathlessly, the soft mounds of flesh squeezed gently between your hands, thumbs rubbing over the hardened buds testingly—you’ve never been super responsive, but then Eddie is reaching his tongue out, following the drag of your thumb, and that concept flies completely out of the window.

“You gonna come on my dick?” He asks teasingly, mouthing at the undersized of your breasts, “—think you can come without me touching you, sweetheart?”

You shake your head in a hurry, the thought was like torture, but Eddie doesn’t budge, removing his hands from you fully, resting against the side of his van, arms outstretched at his side. You stop for a moment, frustrated.

“That’s not fair.” You pout slightly, earning an amused laugh from Eddie.

“If you want it so bad—you’ll get what you need,” Eddie tells you, his thighs nudging your hips forward slightly, causing him to slip even deeper, “take what you need, okay?”

You look at him with a heated gaze, lust and anger laced together, “Lay down.” You order, watching as he shifts eagerly, allowing you full room to stretch your hands over his chest as he lays back, giving you the perfect amount of space to lose yourself, rocking your hips at a pace that has Eddie choking on air, palms pressed firmly against the material of his shirt, gripping slightly for assistance. 

“Fuck—okay,” Eddie pants, meeting your thrust with fervor, “I see how it is—shit, please tell me your close.”

“So close,” You whine, “God—so fucking close.”

Eddie makes a noise, “Mmm, not god, sweetheart.”

“Fuck off.” You laugh through baited breath, mouth hung open on a wordless gasp as he thrust into your harshly, hitting a spot so deep that you’re curling forward at the suddenness, nearly coming then, but you try to hang on, “Eddie—-shit—“

“It’s alright.” He nods, hair messy and bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat, rubbing your thighs tenderly, letting you rock your hips with such an intensity that he can’t hold back any longer, coming almost immediately after you, both of your desperate gasps of pleasure mixing together, cunt clenching tightly around him as you came, almost completely untouched—it was intense and visceral and like nothing you’ve ever felt. Eddie pants loudly, letting out a sudden laugh when you finally lock eyes.

“Oh, don’t look so smug.” You chide, shoving at him gently. 

Eddie doesn’t respond, leaning up to kiss you without warning, you make a noise of surprise, not offended in the slightest, but deeply caught off guard. Eddie pulls away slowly, staring at you hesitantly.

“That felt overdue, I’m sorry.” Eddie apologizes.

He doesn’t expect you to return the same eagerness, nearly toppling him back, lips pressed against him with all the energy and feeling you could muster, indulging in the simple act of kissing him. You’ve never experienced anything this special; so raw and real, it was exhilarating. 

Eddie slips out of you gently, tying up the condom and disposing of it in the front of his van, a small trash can nestled underneath the dash—it was filled to the brim already, which wasn’t surprising. You dress quickly, watching as Eddie shifted and tucked himself back inside his jeans quietly, eyes lingering on you the entire time. 

“No more excuses, okay?” Eddie says, “I get it if you don’t want to be seen with me at school—I can live with that, but seriously—I like you.”

You smile sweetly, tugging at your jacket pocket until it falls open, “I like you too, Eddie.” You find the bag of weed with ease, tossing it in his direction. “Keep the money, I don’t need it.”

Eddie catches it with one hand, “Same time next week then?”

You nod eagerly, leaning up to press a chaste kiss against his cheek, “Don’t be late.”

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #my writing #1kfic

[mrstsung]

Shang tsung has BEEN sexy. Always has been

Y'all just late to the game.

I mean 30+yrs of games. You got a lot of material to work with.

Like come on

I mean come on people.

Young,old,beard,no beard. Shang has it all.

He's cunning,scary intelligent,handsome. Funny. Has humble origins(could be written a bit better and less yikes by NRS but ya know) like you feel bad for shang regardless of his predicament. Because being cursed to take the life force of others for eternity because some salty bitch didn't want you to be "better" than him. Never to embrace death or fully feel life. Stuck in a limbo. Have all the powers of a god yet denied any clearance. Have all the ambitions of a emperor and ruler yet desire none of triviality of it all. Only the security and safety of it. Desire nothing more than what you feel you deserve,and that grows day by day through the trials of kombat. Day in and day out you fight for your life for crumbs.

How can anyone not feel for shang? At least nowadays.

Like they gave him something more than "evil bad guy to beat up" yet expect people to still go the status quo when they want us too. How can you root for anyone who sides with earthrealm or any of the supposed "good guys" anymore?

But anyways. Yeah shang tsung deserves better treatment than him being sexy in looks. Tho he is definitely *meow* deliciously cold Blooded.

He is sexy because he is complex. Because he's not afraid to go after what he wants. He's cautious(and more so as time goes on,as he gets a lil bit wiser tho not much changes overall. He's still a lil cheeky shit and stuck in survival mode. Oof). shang tsung is sexy because he's a bad guy with standards. Twisted sense of honor,he stands for himself. Because nobody else will.

See liu kang,in this new "timeline" if you gave him friendship or friends. Ya know genuinely a happy fucking life. And not put edanians on a pedestal because you wanted kitana puss puss so damn bad. Maybe you could have avoided all of that! Ya know maybe kung lao,raiden,and shang could have been the "deadly alliance" you needed. But noooooooo! Pusshy and looking good for these god/titans was more important?! Fuck off.

Dark raiden would have decimated you on spot for that bullshit.

And i would have laughed. This new liu kang is a joke. Fr. (Tbh the whole damn thing has become a joke but eh)

Shang tsung is once again the only thing keeping this dead horse alive,look me dead in the eyes and tell me he aint!? It's the truth and i know it,and y'all know it. And even then that will wear out in time. Even then it's not the BEST shang tsung(storywise)and Alan Lee's voice and performance is what made this enjoyable. Mr lee is too damn nice for this shit. Luv ya man but yeah. Still would love to see more of shang tsung being actually treated with respect and not with nostalgia bait clouding the writing devs minds. But people who actually love complex villains or morally grey characters.

Anyways. We love this sorcerer. But he deserves better than that.

BY FANS AND GAME DEVS ALIKE!

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

More kontent soon. Sorry for the smol hiatus.

#mortal kombat #shang tsung #💚heart and soul🐍 #shang tsung mortal kombat #antagonist f/o #villain f/o #villain/antagonist f/o #shang tsung appreciation post #mk12 shang tsung #mk9 shang tsung #mk11 shang tsung #mk legends shang tsung #old man shang tsung #❤🐉the dragon's perch🐉❤ #mk1 shang tsung #mk12/mk1 shang tsung #mk1 2023 shang tsung #cary hiroyuki tagawa #alan lee #my personal opinions

[moonshynecybin]

the marc-max dynamic is so rich to me not in a ship way but just that they’re both red bull boy athletes child phenoms who came in and defeated the godlike reigning champions of their respective sports

any thoughts on their similarities and differences?

okay i do need a disclaimer that i am not an F1 scholar by any means i simply enjoy it very casually adn see my lovely mutuals post about it :) like i got into it bc my very offline best friend has loved max forever hes like my most beloved blorbo in law <3. daniel ricciardo is my babygirl though i love his ass. so dont throw rocks at meee

so for in terms of their similarities.... ive talked a little bit about the inherent ego that is tied to racing at the level these guys race at, adn max is definitely in that same vein. he's confident! super sweet off track but in the heat of the race knows when he has to prioritize himself and is not apologetic about it in the least. thats how you win. and thats where him and marc often get into trouble with the media lol (though marc is better at withholding, max will mostly just. say it. king.). but i also think theres a conversation to be had about how any single person in the conversation for GOAT in their respective sport has to be at least mildly crazy in terms of how they relate to their jobs. like obsessive religious devotion from young childhood in many ways.... for vehicular death sport more than mildly methinks. so one fun thing is that whenever they meet they can kind of talk to each other about racing in circles forever bc they love it :) freak4freak friendship where they relate to each other bc their sports are in conversation but not competition with each other, which makes the convo more fun! and it means they can literally just sit there and explain racing to someone who understands what its like to be a too-young protege champion but has enough gaps in their knowledge that a lot of info is mostly new. that must be pretty interesting to them both (especially max who loves that shit lol)

but the thing about max (and again im not a scholar) is that his childhood is so dominated by this complex entanglement between racing and his family and his father and all that mess. marc doesnt really have that same familial trauma tied to this huge polestar of his life (there are other traumas adn other family weirdness with marc but uhhhh this aint about that.) like max absolutely has that dog in him. but i think if he got super injured like marc he wouldnt necessarily do the crazy resilient comeback against all odds like marc did, i think he would retire! and some part of him would be kind of quietly relieved that he can let it go without disappointing anyone and then he'd go on the sim 8 hours a day adn be pretty happy. in a way marc absolutely would not be. but again i am no expert!!

#like idk i think marc is more umm. organically insane? if that makes sense. in terms of his devotion to the sport. #truly i enjoy f1 sooo casually i see pretty posts and go yayyy! and my thoughts stop there #motogp #asks #callie speaks #formula one

[weirdducky17]

Personal Headcanons (UnderTale AUs Edition!)

(Part 1/?)

UnderTale, UnderFell and Underswap!!

Tis my personal headcanons of the skeleton brothers! I hope you like my interpretations of these wacky skele dudes!

UNDERTALE:

SANS

Ultimate Pun Master

The Sans-ational Sans

A very humerus comedian

One depressed mf

Very distrustful of anyone outside of his circle of friends and acquaintances

Closed off and introverted but can be extroverted in certain situations

I feel like he's not really someone interested in romance??

If he did have a romantic interest, he would definitely figure out his feelings very quickly but won't act upon them

Papyrus is his #1 Top Priority

Sorry fangirls but papy more important than you :[

Chugs the shit out of straight, black coffee

Naps a lot but is very hyper aware of his surroundings

A light sleeper. Often wakes up at night, def has insomnia.

Bottles up his feelings a lot until someone makes him snap

Very traumatized from the resets which in turn makes him have a very pessimistic view of the world and how he interacts with humans

He needs some loving, this very squishable skeleton :(

I kin him, he's me to a T.

PAPYRUS

The most hyperactive dude you'll ever meet

Wakes up at the ass crack of dawn fs

He has a lot of energy and most likely experiences a long period of burn out as a result

He has anxiety about not doing something active, he's not really someone who likes sitting still

He tends to put a lot of effort in different interests

He can cook great food, he just cannot grasp how to cook proper and edible spaghetti

Coffee gives him headaches so he prefers to drink tea instead, Sea Tea more specifically

Hides his emotions as well from his brother, worries that he's just adding more to his older brother's overflowing plate

If he had a romantic interest, he would he more bold in his displays of affection, sometimes outright declaring it.

His dating manual comes in very handy

Sans needs to pick up his goddamn sock >:[

Easily stressed baby

He needs a well deserved break

UNDERFELL

RED

My favorite boi 💕

Kind of a dick ngl

Very perverted and aint afraid to show this judging by his very suggestive and flirty comments

Wears a loootttt of gold jewelry, he looks great with them okay?

A simp must simp!

He's verryyyy touch starved, so bad its kinda sad—

Gamer boi, very cultured in the gaming community

Is a very pleasant guy once you get pass his flirty and kinda dick-ish behavior

If he had a romantic interest, he would try to deny it as having "vulnerable feelings" is considered a weakness in his underground

He got used to shoving his feelings deeeppp down and kinda just sucks up

But he's still the more expressive one, gets aggressive easily, him being upset is very obvious to tell and when he's happy it's more concealed but he's quite genuine

He's very proud of his brother, he'll do anything for Edge which is why he took the submissive approach in their brotherly dynamic

Doomfanger fucking hates him lol

EDGE

Mr Egotistical

Napoleon complex but taller

Quite an understanding person once you earn his respect

He has high standards and expects people to meet them

A real good cook, one of the few papyruses that makes great food... unless it's lasagna. It's a 50/50 if his lasagna has glass in it—

Best Cat Dad! Doomfanger is a spoiled baby, high quality tuna and fresh milk only for the bestest of kitties

I would hang out with him if I'm in a good mood ngl

If he had a romantic interest, he would expect them to make the first move 100%. This man had no idea how to do love

Def a tsundere

A tea enjoyer, golden flower tea is his favorite

UNDERSWAP

BLUE

No, it's not UwU Blueberry. We don't talk about him 😬

Is actually quite mature despite being quite hyperactive and have a childish nature

Very responsible and loves being active

He is a terrible cook but a great baker! He makes great cupcakes and cakes, needs work on presentation but its the thought that counts 💕

Is an empath, hyper aware of how people feel around him.

Secretly depressed

Gets annoyed pretty quickly

Doesn't back down easily and stands his ground very firmly if he believes he's in the right

Flirts casually and a cheeky person

Secretly insecure about how people see him

Hates being called short and treated like a child

STRETCH

My favorite Papyrus AU 💕

He snores loudly and prefers to sleep on the couch more than his own bed

He tries cutting down on his smoking by eating candy

Is just as distrustful as Sans but more overprotective of Blue

Will actually consider murder if someone hurts his brother

Flirts casually and isn't as interested in romance

He's very touch starved but he prefers to only show it if its his family or his future s/o

How to trust people 101

Very stressed which is why he took up smoking as a stress reliever

He has adult magazines hidden under his mattress, you can't convince me he doesnt— COUGH COUGH

He's a hoarder and quite messy, he has some cigarette butts still left over in his room

Hope you like my headcanons for them!!

Next headcanons are the Star Sanses and then the Bad Sanses!!

#undertale #undertaleaus #ink sans #nightmare sans #undertale au #underswap #underfell #underfell sans x reader #underswap x reader #undertale x reader #dust sans #sanssweep #sans the skeleton #sans

[moriihana]

we can't fix each other but we sure as hell can enable each other instead || intro: dammit, nugget!

pairing: dabi x disabled!gn!reader

overview: you meet dabi pre-canon because your cat, nugget, literally won't leave the guy alone. friendship, fluff and (eventual) angst ensue.

content: fluff, angst

warnings: references to child abuse, mention of getting kicked out, inaccurate depictions of abandoned locations lmfao

word count: 777 words

a/n: this was originally written with my self-insert in mind. therefore the reader already has a backstory and a set personality; i just decided to make it into a reader-insert since there aren't a lot of disabled reader fics and i really like how i've written this so far. this is also just the intro, i have the next two chapters written and will be posting as well!

*previously known as "we can't fix each other (but we can heal our wounds together)"; i changed the title bc these assholes aint healin shit they're just being overall menaces

AO3 link

masterlist ; next →

It was sunny out. That’s the first thing you always remembered about the day your parents kicked you out. It was warm and there were kids laughing on the sidewalk. You always thought that on days terrible things happened, it’d be pouring down rain. Overcast and dreary, no laughter to be found.

The second thing you always remembered was the yelling. The absolute disgust and disappointment in your mother’s voice, the disdain in your father’s. The insults slung at your face, as if asking to be treated like a person was a sin. You were tired of absorbing your father’s pain, you’ve been doing it since you were eight years old. Isn’t a decade long enough? You were so tired.

The final thing you always remembered was the panic. You were disabled, had no friends to flee to, no money. What were the essentials? What would you need? What important things can you spare room for? 

You laughed to yourself as you thought about it. It’d been eight months since that day, and while being homeless sucked—like, really sucked—it beat living with your parents. You even found a stray dog and cat to call your pets—you named them Boo and Nugget. Boo was a sweet thing, a medium-sized lab mix as black as night, with splotches of white on her chin and chest. She was skittish at first, but always wagged her tail after a few weeks. She was still puppy-like, probably only a year old. Nugget was a little fiend, always getting into things and getting around. He loved cuddles and would demand them at all times. He was weaned off milk, though he was quite small and still not old enough to be called an adult cat, you thought.

You found a mostly finished abandoned apartment complex to call “home,” one far enough away from the heroes’ usual patrol routes and police stations. It was missing the doors and some finishing touches, but that was about it. You had only had two close-calls at being caught since moving into the place. Even though it was rundown and more often than not, you found Nugget carrying a dead mouse into your apartment, it was home. Nobody came near it, since it was rumoured to be cursed.

Tch. Cursed. Perfect place for us street rats, huh? You snorted, scratching under Boo’s chin. Your head snapped up at the sound of heavy footfalls in the hall. Ah, shit. Fuck. Hope that’s not a cop. 

Boo started to growl, her hackles raising along her spine. Nugget jumped down from his spot on a rickety chair, intrigued by the sound.

“Boo, no, quiet—Nugget, what are you doing, get back here—” You hissed, scrambling to get their pets to calm. Probably not a cop. No radio chatter. Only one set of footsteps. Not a hero, either. Usually those are followed by fan's incessant yapping. Another street rat?

Boo continued to growl, backing away from the doorway. Nugget, on the other hand, darted out faster than you could catch him. 

“Oh, for fucks’ sake, Nugget!”

The footsteps stopped.

Well. Shit. That’s… probably not good. Dammit, Nugget!  

You reached for your cane and heaved yourself off the floor, inching towards the doorway to look into the hall. You stopped immediately when you saw a young man with black hair, covered in deep scars—damn, those look like they would’ve hurt—holding Nugget in his arms.

“You are… holding my cat. Could you. Put him down maybe?” You laughed nervously. The young man startled, gaze snapping to you.

“I didn’t know anyone was here.” Oh. He has a nice voice. What the fuck.

“I try to make it seem like that, yes. Street rats aren’t viewed kindly by authorities.” You shifted your weight, setting aside your cane and leaning against the doorframe. Nugget wiggled out of the young man’s arms, circling around his legs a couple times before trotting happily back to you. “Nugget, you little shit, what have I said about running off…? You’re gonna get us into trouble one of these days,” you grumbled, picking him up.

The young man huffed and began to walk off, seemingly disinterested in you. 

“Oi, if you’re lookin’ for a place to crash, this one’s good. Cops don’t come around, nor do heroes. Place is cursed, haven’t ya’ heard?” You piped up. The young man paused mid-step. “‘s got running water and electricity, too, surprisingly. Builders up and ran off.”

“You have zero clue who I am, yet you’re offering to share this place. You’re an odd one, little mouse.” He turned to look at you. “... the name’s Dabi.”

You grinned. “I’m Y/N. Nice t’meet ya, Dabi.”

#dabi x reader #dabi x you #todoroki touya x reader #todoroki touya x you #touya todoroki x reader #touya todoroki x you #todoroki toya x reader #todoroki toya x you #toya todoroki x reader #toya todoroki x you #my writing #bnha fanfiction #navi: we cant fix each other #writing.txt

[boundless-n-bare]

celebrate

i am trying hard, friends. life has been rough and i am (yet again) in a transitional period in life. just took down all the decorations in my room, my walls are now bare, and though my inclination is to feel sad i am forcing myself to see the positive in this, that being that today is the first day of the rest of my life - i have no idea where im headed but i know it aint here. i am ready to throw everything in my truck and jet at a moments notice, im just waiting for the oppurtunity. and you know what, leaving things behind is never easy but sometimes its absolutely necessary and this is one of those times. my surroundings no longer suit me, they're bringing me down hard. i dont know where i will end up next. i know where i want to be but i also know that its in the universe's hands and she dont give a fuck what i want so im detaching myself from that for now. all i know is that i wont waste time being down because i have a life to start living! and i am so excited for that! regardless of my physical surroundings, i am excited that now more than ever i have a clearer idea of who i am and who i want to be than i ever have. i have come to terms with myself as an individual in ways that i hadn't previously been allowing myself to do and i am excited to continue that journey. its hard, its complicated, its complex, its messy, and a lot of time it sucks but also i am starting to feel alive again, and that is the feeling i want to celebrate - i have felt stagnant, isolated, lonely, and without purpose, drive, or motivation for so long it felt like i might as well have not been existing at all. and although i went from having very little to do to having everything to do in a very short period of time, i know i will persevere and i know that through the sress, discomfort, and pain i will emerge on the other side to experience calm, softness, and pleasure. once again, as i did years ago when i first moved to this town, in leaving i will feel alive. and that, as well as everything that follows, is worth celebrating

have some fun news coming soon, hopefully later today. just gotta tie up some loose ends!

[daehee]

Chapter 5

Come Here Baby Girl I Wanna Kiss You

When the four of us arrived the party was already in full swing. I thought it would be like the cliché high school parties with lots of people, loud music, and alcoholic drinks, but it turned out to be a smaller, more exclusive sort of party. There weren't that many people there, only the main people from my dance class. Everybody was just chilling on the couches in the living room. All in all, about twenty people including us.

"Ohhh heyyyy. It's the newbieesss!" Keita and I were greeted by some guy who seemed really energetic. Keita and him did some sort of complex handshake... seems like he had made a lot of friends already.

"I'm Eric, you must be Akahana Ezihe... gotta admit, you're way hotter than I expected for a 15 year old." I glared at Keita.

"Does everyone already know my age?"

"Sorry... was just being honest. I cant lie."

"There is a thing called... not talking about it or me, you should practice it."

"Haha very funny, plus no one caressss, why are you so sensitive about it. As long as you don't act like some booby sucking toddler nobody will even notice."

"He's right though. I don't give a shit, you seem chill. Come on sit, sit, make yourself at home. Want anything to drink?"

"Got any Fanta?"

"Uhh yeah, orange and berry."

"Berry."

"Aight, I'll be back."

Eric returned with my drink and I plopped down onto the couch next to Keita. I opened the bottle and took a sip of my favorite flavor of soda. Keita took the bottle from me and took a sip.

"Are yall like... dating?" I choked on my spit in response to that question.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Are yall dating... your always hugging, holding hands... sharing the same drink."

"Dude... he's my best friend. We've been friends since I was like 4 and he was... I don't even know 6?"

"Yeah, our parents became best friends when they moved from Australia and then we grew up hanging out together. I was her-..."

"No need to go that far." I said cutting him off and slapping my hand over his mouth. He wrenched my hand off of his mouth and held my wrist tightly pushing me back into the couch playfully.

"Ouhh... embarrassing childhood stories, please continue."

"No, please don't continue."

"I was-." I once again slapped my hand over his mouth, but he grabbed both my wrists first and held them so I couldn't escape. I kept wrestling with him as he continued his story.

"I was her babysitter... when we... were kids. She al-... yah I'm gonna kill you Hana... She always... dragged me to her... dance studio, and made me practice with her."

As the group watched us wrestle, chuckles could be heard. Everybody loved watching us fight like children.

"Y'all are so cute. You'd make the cutest couple." Eric said, knowing it would annoy me more.

"Oh my gosh, we would not." Keita then started pretending to kiss me in response.

"Yah Keita! Get your crusty lips away from me."

"Nooo come here baby girllll. I wanna kiss youuuu." I started laughing uncontrollably at his mocking tone of voice as he kept pulling me back to him. Finally he pulled me so hard that I couldn't push him away and his lips landed on my cheek. I didn't really react because I had been laughing so hard, plus it wasn't like we hadn't ever kissed before.

"See you didnt even react to him kissing you. It's like you two are already dating."

"That's just because it was only a kiss on the cheek, I'd freak out if it was anywhere else."

"Mhm sure, I bet he was your secret first kiss." My face reddened at this because Keita was indeed my first kiss. Keita laughed out loud and our reactions were obvious.

"Oh... wow... ok I guess it aint a secret now. How and why did yall kiss?"

"It wasnt really on purpose..." I said quietly, covering my blushing face.

"Are you kidding, there is no way that was an accident. You were so madly in love with me back then. I bet you 100 bucks you did it on purpose."

"Oh my god I did not. I was not in love with you, it was a harmless crush."

"Ouhhh so we did like each other at one time?"

"No... she liked me at one time."

"Right because you cant look like a pedo falling for a girl two years younger than you?"

"Oh nah it had nothing to do with her age. She's never really felt younger to me. I was just too dumb to notice her feelings, otherwise we probably would've dated."

"Awh so you liked her after she liked you?"

"Yeah... kinda missed my chance."

"Y-you liked me?" Keita looked at me as if he had forgotten I was sitting right next to him.

"Oops... late confession. Yes I did." I didn't really have a response. I just kinda sat there with my mouth open in shock.

"You may now kiss the bride." Eric said in a mockingly priestly voice. I think Keita noticed my shock and sort of awkwardness.

"You ok babe?" He asked quietly. Eric was engaged in another conversation with someone else.

"C-cam you not call me that please."

"Oh come on Hana, don't let something stupid in our past change our relationship now."

"T-this isn't in my past Keita, I just found out. Honestly you're right I was in love with you. Both of us know that doesn't just go away."

"Do you mean you still have feelings for me?"

"I-I don't know. I fell for you really hard, really fast, but I was also really young. I don't really know if that qualifies as love but I thought it was. It took me a while to get over you but I finally did and I don't plan on enduring the pain of loving you for a second time."

"The pain?"

"Yeah because you didn't like me back, and it's pretty clear you don't like me now."

"What? Hana I never said that."

"Oh so you do like me now? Just because it'll be a defining factor of if I like you back or not?"

"That's not what I meant babe. I just mean to say I was in love with you too. I thought you didn't like me back so I also made myself get over it."

"Whatever Keita, I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little."

"For?"

"Not telling me sooner. You're the only one I wanted to end up with. I still think that maybe in the end after we've had our fun, it'd be nice to end up together and be childhood sweethearts, but I'm not planning my life around that."

"Well just so you know, I'm not leaving you. No matter who you date, no matter who you marry, we will always be best friends."

"Don't worry, I didn't plan on letting you go."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The intro post for this story has all the chapters listed.

#terazono keita #boys planet #kpop fanfic #kpopidol #angst #ciipher #kpop bg #high school #childhood sweethearts #friends to lovers #best friends #love #relationships #fwb #fwb fic #fwb problems

[joonsytip]

first of all i love ur pfp and tsd and PHEW- selfish indeed! Your writing is amazing so i hope you dont take this as a critique of that bc it's just the Characters i wanna gossip abt heheh. I'm the anon from waaaay back who was team dk and now ive decided....im team OC. maybe in the future when reader has a chance to properly look at dk then yes but hannie is NOT it for her oh my gooooood like i felt like i was rlly watching a drama like, jeonghan 😭 how did you make this poor girl suffer for 2 years bc of ur own complex. Reader wasn't faultless bc she did keep approaching and shoulve put her foot down sooner but tbh jh was too wishy washy with his actions and made it seem like he purposly was trying to go out of his way to hurt her and then oh a week later, he's in love???. I like the cheol part when he gave advice like cheol and jihoon were the MVPs along w chae but srsly. The cheol part gave us more insight into jeonghans side but bro just bc u have some deep hidden repressed feelings doesnt mean u get to treat oc like that thinking its cute. Tsundere is cute, straight up rudeness isn't. Cheol was so right when he put things from reader's perspective like how are u gonna treat reader like a bug for 2 years then turn around and say u love her. Noooooope, its a no from me 😭. I respect what jihoon said the most like reader can be persistent as much as jh wants to get his redemption. Reader hit the nail on the head when she said he doesnt love her, he only loved being pined after, because thats exactly what it is from her perspective because jeonghan seriouslyyyyy fucked up instead of being honest to his feelings or aware. At this point im so pissed off w jh (the fictional one hehe) and i just want reader to be happy. The friendship dynamics in this are the absolute fucking best !!!!!! Seriously the office culture and dynamics in this MADE the story and i lived for it. I just want reader to transfer and live her hot girl life while jeonghan pines and lives in a puddle of regret. He's gonna need to show a lot more sincerity. Right now he's just trying to prove himself, as jihoon said he's just trying to redeem himself by doing all these flashy things that are just making reader question him more and make her feel like shes being mocked. As cheol said, he needs to put himself in her shoes like the underdeveloped eq jh has in this 💀. Goes from i hate you to i love you in a week and wonders why his sincerity didn't reach. i sweaaaaar he frustrates me like nobody else ughhhh the way you made his flawed character was so good like u had me feeling so much anger over a fanfiction 😆. It balanced out so nicely like the cluesless jh and cheol who sees the bigger picture and wants his friends happiness and then reader who is passionate in her love and jihoon who is really mellow but sees everything for what it is. Then we got the trouble makers and office clows along with the dependable friends and bff hao. Hsjsjs soooo many good character, this was such a good cast!!!

I like healing loves and loves that complete you, jh feels more like a puppy crush that makes ur heart race, the kind love that breaks ur heart and u have to learn from- and thats ok! For example, she has a great attraction to jeonghan and went crazy when he wore the red top (goddamn i would too, that chic office wear????) Like jh excited her but a love like dk feels more like home, you know? What i would tell reader if i could is that life is sooo much more than that boy you think is ur first and last love. Sometimes what u really need is ur friends and to enjoy your youth bc this aint it and in my humble opinion jeonghan is not it for her. I know they'll end up together bc its a x jeonghan and this is a fictional world but i took this way too seriously bc i got invested LMAO. Felt like i was in the damn office with soonyoung fighting the copy machine and texting boo seungkwan from the rival office next door about all the drama just to hear his hot takes 😂 I wanna have a sad bitch party with reader and chae and just blast 'you're not sorry' by taylor and then bust her out in a hot outfit for a revenge type plot LMAOOOO the way im sucked into this fanfic you would not believe hahahha. Like reader shows up at the og office after her transfer looking like jeonghans dream girl and she gives him the same treatment he first gave her 😤 the reversallll!! Oh my god and she brought her new coworker, hottie kim mingyu who anyone can see from a mile away is a literal 😍 around her like theyre giving puppy gf x puppy bf and jeonghan is feeling the heat hehehe. As u can see im fucking delusional and ive continued this scenario like its my own life in my head for so many different scenarios LOL.

Thank u for writing and listening to my ramble<333

Gosh. First of all, ANON WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO TALK???? I really loved how you laid out your perspective about the storyline and the character, specially the protagonists.

I do get where your thoughts are coming from and tbh it's a real tough deal to make Jeonghan get his redemption arc coz redem. arcs have always been difficult.

And the way you continued the storyline after the part 2, it's so satisfying actually???

Thanks for dropping by and please keep rambling on me from time to time, I love it! 😂🫶

#the selfish dilemma #joonsytip ask

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

OOC:// I hope this is okay, but I've kinda been itching to say that the therapist bojack/ cartman and related threads that I've come across are so cool in concept and really well written on both sides! I definitely enjoy SP for what it is, but something about that dynamic kinda makes me wish it could be more story/ character arc driven like in BJH's storytelling. I don't think SP would ever go in a direction like that (without it ending horribly, especially for cartman), so it has been cool to see that explored.

Also, I'm not entirely sure how to put this into words, but I kinda like how you don't seem to put characters through behind-the-scenes reception arcs via headcanons before writing them. If they canonically have struggled with things or have negative traits, your characters aren't so reformed that those things won't come up or be a problem again. It seems like you stay really true to the idea that characters have the complexity to say and do inexcusable things, but still not have to be written as a story antagonist 100% of the time because of that. It's definitely more interesting when characters don't have to either be watered down into sweethearts, or get completely vilified and live on the fringes of society with no positive connections.

Thank you! The amazing write of bojack horsman definitely helped with how i write him obviously (: I just like the idea of him having people around to care about him and vice versa as the show kinda ended rather bittersweet with him losing diane ): , though i love the message of accountability and how suicide is not the desirable outcome. people that think it would be better are so not understanding why bojack fans relate toe him i tell ya it aint due to how he treated sarah lynn/penny but more so depression/mother issues /a desire to belive you can be better even after being awful. The idea of bojack being anyone's therapist to cartman to me felt very bizzare even though it was my idea but i thought it be fun. I think on n some level it felt like he would hate the idea but when he's doing well, the advice he has for friends is rather decent mainly in s6 with dianes depression. and being a kids therapist would only work in south park really where they don't care at all about kids security. its def been fun to have him react to the insanity .. he spent his life wanting to be in a sitcom and when hes in one that happens to have mass murderor eric cartman its just too much man he can't cope xd. I find the idea of writing characters as perfect saints or devils to be massively boring, a trend i've eyed in other fandoms example azula has been treated as a misunderstood poor woobie who did nothing wrong ever and abusive ursa/iroh are to blame for her shengaians .. and it drives me crazy. ive also heard tales of zuzos woobification that come off as to me as imperfect victims with anger issues are unloveable if we don't remove their flaws. its very jarring to see angry charactres get turned into soft meowmeows. the south park fandom itself struggles to deal with Stan, Kyle and Butters, even Kenny being less than perfect. Stan being a shitty boyfriend? OOC. Butters being sexist OOC.. despite it being a real occuring trait of his for many many seasons.. as well as his own violent temper issues due to all the abuse he endures but cartman? not being evil and caring for his friends thats OOC.. its a real annoying problem in fandoms something I have zero desire to embrace. I love bojack due to his flaws, not inspite of em flaws make characters more empathiic, if you remove em they become stale and boring.

It's definitely more interesting when characters don't have to either be watered down into sweethearts, or get completely vilified and live on the fringes of society with no positive connections. Yes I agree its why the ending while it made me cry it was nice to see bojack still have friends like Todd/ Mr. Peanutbutter/ aquaintess with PC .. tho I think Mr. PB is prob his best friend now.. even if hes still obessed with whoever erica is.. I feel the show also left open the possibilites that even if he did relaspe, he could always get better.. as Todd says. which is a better message than fools thinking ole bobo should have stayed dead, that would have been so much more damaging to fans of the show.. and a terrible terrible ending. so while i wish diane/him stayed buds at least he has a few friends and isn't.. dead...

thanks for the ask (:

#friendly anon #yo i love this dumb horse thanks for the ask (: #glad your having fun

[sorikkung]

23, 40, and 71 for the fanfic writer asks!! 🤍

hiii rain! <3 sorry i rambled a lot in these oml

23. how do you deal with writers block?

i dont.

that seems like a smartass answer but i literally just do not SDKFJHKSDF if i get writers block i simply do not write. i will go for months at a time without writing due to writers block it just be like that. its only within the past month or so that ive been tryna really get myself to write more often or at least more often than like, once a month, but ive been riding a motivation kick and havent really hit writers block since so i suppose i will deal with that as it comes? if i hit a block on one wip i just switch to another. sprinting on a writing discord server with some friends is another way to get me off my ass and writing!! (shoutout to the skz writing server im in, yall are incredible.)

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

oh man i treasure all feedback i get but i will never not be thinking about a friend of mine (hiiii elizabeth <3) saying she found a home in my story. the story in question is my series what goes on in neverland and it is a story that is just so, so personal to me bc its blatant wish fulfillment and that in itself is so exposing? because by writing an mc thats a blatant self-insert rather than a one-size-fits-all reader insert its like... i am baring myself and all my dreams for everyone to see. and its so different from other fics in so many ways from the transmasc rowdy and obnoxious mc to the complex relationship w all the characters from multiple fandoms so its like... its so niche and tailored specifically for Me that i was surprised anyone else would enjoy it let alone enjoy it so much that they could find a home in it, something so personal like the safety and understanding that comes with finding home in something, it was just so moving and i think abt it a lot. being able to make a home for someone through writing is just so special and im gonna keep writing and hope that more people can find something like that in it too.

71. how do you balance writing and life? do you ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of writing you have to do?

i do not. SDFKJHSDFKHKs once again i am just.. hardly a functioning person my dude i write when i write and i life when i life but those two things do not often work cohesively with each other. im not overwhelmed by the amount of writing i Have to do bc i dont Have to write shit i just Want to write so much that yeah, it can get a little overwhelming but its less the writing itself thats overwhelming and more just my adhd making every small task overwhelming like writing 3000 words in one sitting is easier than doing all the dishes in my sink rn. i havent showered in days and havent done my washing in weeks so im wearing dirty clothes to work and my acne And eczema are horrendous because i keep forgetting or not having time to apply creams and i sometimes get so intimidated by something as simple as making instant pasta that i simply do not eat. i aint balancing SHIT my dude i am just rolling with the punches and trying not to die with varying degrees of success.

writer ask game!

#'how do you-' I DONT. I AM STRUGGLING. SDFJKSKHSDJKF #i be strugglebussin 24/7 my dude i dont even know how im alive but im still kickin so ill attribute that to queer fury and spite probably #every day is an uphill battle against myself but hey at least i got another wgoin chapter out and have been updating gbgb consistently :) #little victories <3 #actually those are big victories #my little victories are like. making it to work on time. getting out of bed in the morning. writing like 3 sentences #anyway #oh btw do you want a moot tag rain. just a nickname if u have one or ill just use rain and an emoji of ur choice <3 #writer ask game #rain 🤍

[audible--silence]

They’re probably racist but like at least u know

Its america dude

“You buy my ticket n ill go”

“You buy my uber n i’ll go”

The methods i use in my mind to make sense of the world get more and more complex and harder and harder to find people who relate to them

The decision not to care is a luxury afforded only to the fortunate and the fools.

Existence is a crime in that house

The wheels of society would move much slower if men like you were behind the wheel

“Man i think life will stop throwing you curveballs when you stop hitting them out of the park. Cos yaknow, evidence suggests you can fkn handle one”

“What are you drinking?”

“Water”

“Why is it yellow with a chilli salt rim?”

“He was the coolest motherfucker you ever met. Even in a wheelchair.”

“You idle at 100 in NY”

I will let sleeping dogs lie. But if the dog is awake and coming for me, you bet i will be swinging at it

Haha the only difference between god, magic and science is what you choose to believe in

Dunbassery n essex st stn

“People are delusional, and im kinda jealous”

Every day ends in y. Out here, most of them end with “why?”

New York is a city just big enough and just diverse enough to convince people it is the world. And to some, it is.

Ima bout to dragonball z this boy

“I like large parties. There isnt any privacy at small parties”

Just saw a kid duck the turnstiles to enter the subway and open the emergency exit gate for their mum. These two are goin places.

People are more alive here

When you gotta fight and hustle to survive, you dont wind up with a bunch of whining drones whinging of this and that, and feeling discontent. You end up with a hungry, eager mob. Keen to get out of the grind

“Let me know when you’re back and we’ll paint the town gin, vermouth and campari red”

“We have a fuckin dog in a backpack do ya think were jewish?”

I got a taste of it, but not enough to satiate the taste I got.

The flavor and character of this place have me wanting to dive in and devour and figure it out.

I love perth but theres no mood. No vibe when you walk outside.

Here, anything can happen, every day.

There, you have to try hard as hell to make anything happen at all

New yorkers take no shit, believe no bullshit and waste no time. The stereotype is they’re a bunch of cunts. I disagree. The picture i have of these people now is that they are a population of veterans. Lifes veterans.

Living in this city ages you a week where other people live a day. You get pretty sick of people taking their time to find their wallet in line when you’re trying to make your next dollar to pay rent. Time is valuable to these folks.

They simultaneously understand that the secret to survival and to not going insane is to be kind.

People open doors for each other, give money to buskers, pay the homeless, tip more, use manners, hold open doors, let people go first, hold up a train for a stranger, let someone else have the seat and all the rest.

They know this gets other’s through the days and they appreciate when others do it for them.

So what you end up with is a city of good cunts who take no shit.

My type of city.

The rich cunts though still got nothing better to talk about than sex and capitalism

“Listo para lucha?”

Peer pressures only a bad thing if you’re a weak willed idiot with bad friends

Well, aint one of us miserably broke optimistic pricks ever had the better half of a clue what was goin on with this circus of an existence so i guess we’ll all just keep getting out of bed and deciding to find and follow our old faithful ways of keeping it all together

To be human is to lack

I may be thinking about that song for a while. The sound an NYC train makes when grinding up against the tracks as it starts to move. The whistle that starts low then moves high then meets an equilibrium somewhere in the middle.

The deal sealed as the J train sped by me at Kosciuszco st stn and as i stared at it in a moment of reflection, realizing this may be one of the last times i ever see the sight, as it passes me, on the back, is a man. Holding on. Streched wide like a starfish, arms out holding on. Hangin in. Getting where he’s going.

And as i walk off the stairs and stand in front of the smoke shop, the little caesers, the taco truck, 99c store, deli and the gourmet grocer, i think back on how i felt when I first got off this train, with my bags on me and scared. Nervous about this new place, thoughts in my head of Mexico and my dry as wallet.

Turns out after nine months away, three of them here, im a little less forgiving, a little more direct and a lot more seasoned. Ready for whatever i put myself to next. I’m just not allowed to forget that I am responsible for what that will be and NO GOOD THING COMES WITHOUT EFFORT.

As the lil blue dot on the map finally approaches the city I’ve shown to so many people on the same map this year, I get a glimpse of yellow land. Dust and dirt and trees and blue blue skys.

The nose tilts down the gears come out.

Im home.

After nine months. Whether it feels like it or not.

Time to reshape home.

[teyamsatan]

Baeee Help me pleassseee ! 😭😩😓

So for the context there is this guy. We met 2 months ago and since the start our relationship was confusing. We met on a dating app, but as first timers in all of that, from the start we never expressed the way we met and never put a point of clarity of like "are we doing this to be together at some ?"

One time I did and it ended up being same. There was a clarity, but in the end I didnt understand anything.

Like since 2 weeks, its hey and how are you and nothing really to "lets start being friends" as we agreed on. And I tried.. I guess ?

So I know I am not an option and I need things to BE clear, always. I decided to write him this message. I know he has a lot of shit with university entering and maybe I was getting to far with the text below, I hope nof. I just am not a "girl in the pocket for plan B". And this is THE thing I cant accept.

Here is my text message🥺🙄 :

Hi

I'm sending you this message to tell you that I'm having trouble seeing the point of all this.

Don't get me wrong, you're a very nice person. That's not the problem.

It's just that it's getting monotonous and the fact that there isn't really any effort made to become "friends" since we have met, if that's what I understood, bothers me a little.

We rarely exchange and it doesn't really make sense.

I understand that you have a lot of work to do and that I'm not the center of the world. But if there's one thing I've learned so far, it's that when you're not a decision, a choice, even for something as simple as friendship, you can't play the game.

I don't want to become an option because I respect myself enough. I'm not saying this with pride, but with a deep empathy for myself, which I feel is right.

I don't know if I'm setting the bar too high. I don't know if I'm used to more concrete things in relationships or if I'm impatient. What I do know is to trust my feelings.

I don't feel like you're putting any effort into it and that's okay. You don't owe me anything.

It would just be nice if you'd finally tell me and we could stop this never-ending drag.

All this may have no substance and may be stupid, but I'm an honest person and I don't like stagnant situations.

Thank you and have a nice night time :)

I hope my message isn't taken on the wrong note.

So yeah... Thanks bb with all of my heart if you answer this really 💗💕 Means a lot 🥰

Please be honest... did I fuck up ? Because he has seen in. Its been 2 hours. I know its late but sh*t 😂

He aint be the good one if he isnt getting the point... right ?

hi xx

so first of all, i do think especially us, as girls, we tend to overthink a lot of scenarios (i'm super guilty of this too). i used to do this all the time, and be very upset when someone wasn't giving me the attention i thought i deserved or that i was giving to them, but in time i've learnt that most times it truly isn't personal - people have a lot going on in their lives, and sometimes (again, speaking from experience) life can get so crazy even the thought of answering a message or seeing a friend is very overwhelming. it doesn't mean you don't love them or appreciate them or prioritise them, it sometimes just means you absolutely can't handle it at the moment. now i'm not saying that's what happened, but it is something to maybe keep in mind going forward.

now, i think you were very respectful in your message and at the end of the day, you deserve someone who is on the same wavelength as you. men are very simple creatures, and a lot of the times we want to overcomplicate them and make them more complex than they actually are hahahaah - oh, what did he mean by that, did he try to send me a message, was he being purposefully cryptic etc. that's not usually the case. men show you what they think and feel - if they're interested in you, you will know. if you say it's been two weeks of barely any interaction or barely any effort made on his part, that to me is answer enough.

but who knows? see what he says!

good luck and smooches x

#my asks 💕 #𖨆♡𖨆 andra's anonnies

[unhingedselfships]

I poked through the KimiKura Verse Playlist and compiled some songs from the Yakuza!Kadokura AU.

BAD CHILD - BAD CHILD “That smile, girl Was for you It's been a while, girl Without you Free trial, girl For you I don't want to spend this night alone”

EAT SPIT! - Slush Puppy, Royal and the Serpents

“Misfit, misfit in trouble Queen shit, queen shit level Misfit, misfit in trouble Misfit, get the fuck on my level Bad bitch, queen shit, icon”

Complex - Xana

“I put on a pretty show, a demon taught me what I know And I could see it in her eyes, I got this angel hypnotized Said she loves the thing I do with my tongue while I'm inside  You got me with my worst intentions”

Good Kid - Former Vandal

“Baby, you could fuck up my whole life How'd you know that's just what I'd like? You wrap my arms around your throat and say Tell me that you love me like it matters either way"

regrets - Stevie Howie

“Call me an addict Baby can I have it? Fuck being right God I want it so badly I can't deny you You know you're my supplier Fuck my pride Already know I'm a buyer I'd change my mind for you, yeah I'd follow what you do, yeah”

Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground

“I smell sex and candy here, mmm Who's that lounging in my chair? Mmm Who's that casting devious stares in my direction? Momma this surely is a dream, yeah”

HOUNDIN PT II - Layton, AViVA

“Ooh, you so obsessive, send another desperate message On your knees, I got you begging, I forgot, I meant to mention, yeah You ain't nothing when you tryna be slick You ain't nothing but my hounding-ass bitch, yeah yeah”

666 - KILLBOY

“You know from the jump I'm crazy as fuck 1 a.m. you know I'm kinda drunk I just want yo love Cut you up and put you in the trunk If you fucking up Nah, you know that shit aint really nothin' I just want your love”

She Thinks of Me - Landon Tewers “She loves the bags under my eyes Sitting in her thigh highs Drinking like a fish because she's realized I'm just fucking with an imitation maybe I should move on from the parasite Heard you're speaking like we made a truce Haven't stole your woman yet so show some gratitude I found a real one My life's a wicked view Be thanking me when she's fucking you”

Daddy AF - Slayyyter 

“I been fuckin' models I been poppin' bottles all night Playboy in the grotto (Playboy in the grotto!) Put it on your face boy Alright (Alright, alright) Daddy as fuck”

Bloodfeather - Highly Suspect

“Your eyes, they could cut through diamonds and steel For real, they're sharper than the blade in your hand They tell me you're strong, but they don't tell me what you feel I feel there's something that you want me to hear It's coming in loud and clear You know what you want, what you want, what you want In the name of love, I'll follow you You fit me like a glove when I'm inside of you And if my body's dead and cold, I'd die for you In the name of love, I'll kill for”

Heavy Metal Lover - Lady Gaga

“I want your whiskey mouth all over my blond south Red wine, cheap perfume and a filthy pout Tonight bring all your friends, because a group does it better Why river with a pair? Let's have a full house of leather”

Make It Naked - DYLYN

“Make it naked This is how I want it Bleeding, screaming I want it raw and honest Under the skin is the truth I'll show you me, show me you”

Popsicle - bludnymph

“Got a sugar addiction, I make bad decisions I wish I would listen but I just wanna stay Now my hunger has risen, I can't help but give in I pray I'm forgiven, I cannot get away Yeah, I got a sweet tooth I want another taste of you Yeah, I gotta stay cool Nobody does it like you do”

Strut - Emeline

“They say I'm tragically obsessed Hot mess, God forbid, I'm getting what I like Every night, make 'em livid All these saints are watching me My sex life like TMZ You're welcome, bitch, the show is free”

Fluorescent - Gwen Stefani

“Dressing up in your love is a dangerous thing My sexy super lover's got a real bad sting Oh baby, didn't want no trouble, this is more than I can afford I can't help myself, keep coming back for more”

Little Girl Gone - CHINCHILLA

“Little girl gone, got a gun from a gangster Run little girl, run little girl, faster Little girl gone, got a gun from a gangster Honey, I've changed so much since I last saw ya”

Lord of the Thighs - Aerosmith

“You must have come here to find it You've got the look in your eyes Although you really don't mind it I am the lord of your thighs”

Part Goddess Part Gangster - Madalen Duke

“See that girl Halo on her head Eyes that burn with a devilish stare Pocketknife hidden in her smile Watch her move Like a beast in the wild She flies with angels She runs with wolves Part goddess, part gangster”

Crimewave - Blue Stahli

“I wanna go on a crimewave I wanna ride with you And when I dance on their grave I wanna dance with you”

#yakkimi #KimiKura #lyrics post #Yakuza!Kadokura AU #YakuKura AU #all aboard the ss naughty #i guess? lol

[taeyamayang]

OKAY SO THE SHORT STORIES. I SHALL SEND EACH ONE AS A SEPARATE ASK, STARTING WITH THE EARLIEST.

so, one time i had gone out to buy bread (always going to buy bread when these things happen 😭) and it had gotten dark. the usual shop i go to inside the complex was closed so i had to go outside the gate, luckily a friend of mine named Oyi walked with me

on the way back (in the complex now), we sorta pass these three guys by the looks of it, streetlights were on but it was night so i couldn’t see too well

then, i hear one of them go “she’s the one with the twin” and everyone who knows me knows my sister more or less, we get confused as twins (idk why but) so obviously this guy knew me

i ask him who he was, i sorta call it out bc there was distance between us and he goes “you don’t remember me?” I go “no i don’t!”

and he leaves his friends behind and walks closer, i walk closer with oyi bc apparently oyi knows this guy

so i get closer and i see his face, he was kinda cute i aint gonna LIE but yeah. i tell him i still don’t recognize him and he introduces himself, lets call him Dev or something

and he asks for my name and i give it to him. he says im really pretty and from there its just lovely, chilled, comfortable flirting. i was laughing and smiling a lot bc thats just me yk, especially around new people and stuff

so we talk briefly and i have to go home, so i say so. he says “it was nice meeting you retaa” and i say “nice meeting you too” and continue walking with oyi bc he’s walking me home

and then i ask him. “Oyi. How old is this guy.”

Pea. Oyi goes.

“20.

and im like. “OYI YOU LET HIM FLIRT WITH ME KNOWING OUR AGE DIFFERENCE IM FUCKING 16.”

and he goes “well he’s turning 21 this year” AS IF IT JUST DIDNT MATTER

and i just tell oyi not to talk about me around him and to like let him know im 16 if he asks for/about me yk

BUT ALSO

THE GUY HAD TO HAVE A HINT AT MY AGE IF HE KNEW ABOUT MY SISTER AND I, RIGHT? I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT BC THAT’D BE REAL FUCKING WEIRD BUT YEAH

mans is closer to my older sister’s age than mine 😭😭

oh my god i thought you have a twin!! that freaked me out a bit bc i didn't know and how come i didn't know whattt but yeah it was your older sister am i right?

OKAY BUT HE'S TECHNICALLY 21 AND YOU'RE 16 UHM NO fsnsbsnb if he's like 18 and your 17 i can turn a blind eye but 21... he's like in college

maybe dev thinks you have the same age as your older since you are twins 😭 how old is ur sister again? is she my age?

#bestie.🍓 #pea.writes