#ineffable humans

[waitingtobebroken]

The horrible pickup lines AU is here!

How Am I Winning This Conversation?

Summary:

Crowley's new coworker looks like an angel and has the inane ability to take every pickup line too literally. It doesn't stop Crowley from trying to flirt with him, even though he can barely string a coherent sentence together while in Aziraphale's presence. Somehow... it still works?

Excerpt:

So Crowley googled more pickup lines. And hoped for the best. "Angel, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print,” he said one day, while Aziraphale squinted at his tiny spreadsheet. He had shown him how to zoom in a number of times and yet, the angel insisted he liked this better since he could, and this was a quote, "See all the numbers together." What a weird man. Crowley was starting to adore him. "Frustrating and designed to deceive?" Aziraphale responded absentmindedly. His fingers had not stopped tapping on his calculator. Crowley found it unfairly hot. Both the words and the nonchalance with which they had been uttered. He laughed. Then went to make the angel some tea because he hadn't had any all day.

And a bonus meme because I couldn't stop myself:

#yes this was written very much to make ME giggle #so what?? #we all deserve to see them be stupid #good omens #good omens au #ineffable husbands #ineffable humans #gomens #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #good omens fanfiction #good omens human au #my writing #good omens 2 #good omens fanfic rec #ineffable idiots

[phoen1xr0se]

Loving your new AU. Very well done...like a fine wine, hits all those high notes we love so much. Thank you.

Awww thank you so much! I've been surprised by the overwhelming response to it so far, but really glad lots of people are enjoying it.

For anyone not reading it yet, There Is A Light & It Never Goes Out is a Human AU featuring Crowley as a Lighthouse Keeper who has spent two decades putting a barrier up between himself and the outside world, and Aziraphale as a Professor who rocks up on his tiny Scottish island to escape from the life he hates.

Chapters being added weekly.

#good omens #good omens human au #lighthouse keeper crowley #professor aziraphale #azicrow fanfic #aziracrow #azicrow #good omens fanfiction #ineffable humans #crowley #aziraphale #good omens fandom #go fanfic #phoenixrose314 #ao3 good omens

[yourangle-yuordevil]

That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus

VS.

Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times

#Crowley just really misses the unicorns ok??? #Also Crowley didn't start from a horse to make a new unicorn #he looked at a horse and was like.... nah #then looked at a goat and was like YEAAAAH LET'S GOO LET'S MAKE YOU BIG AF AND YOU CAN ALSO SPIT FIRE WHAT A GREAT IDEA!! #While Aziraphale is fretting over the fact that he accidentally gave WINGS to a HORSE and every time that the angels asks about it he's lik #whaaat?? PegaSUS naaaah never heard about it. Must be a made up thing. humans...right?? silly little things ahahah *sweat nervously* #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #pegasus #unicorn #Do I wanna draw the precious good omens beans? yes. #is this an excuse to draw more horses? also yes. #medieval crowley #ancient greek aziraphale #CAVALLIIIIIII 🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴 #good omens comic #historical husbands

[dantesmelancholicshitpost]

Imagine how hurtful it must have been for Crowley to see Gabriel, the person who literally took an active part in the process of traumatising the man he loves into the mindset that he cannot be happy and free, get a happy ending. To see the man, who was one of the reasons Aziraphale haven't even acknowledged their relationship for such a long time, because they were on "opposite sides". The man who was one of the reasons they couldn't be together, even as friends, for 6000 years. The man who wanted to execute Aziraphale with a smile on his face and "shut your stupid mouth and die already" as his "goodbye". Seeing this man getting what Crowley has always dreamt of: being able to run away with the person he loves, leave Heaven and Hell behind and just be together with his beloved - in Soho or on Alpha Centauri, literally wherever, because "Heaven is wherever Beelzebub is". Crowley seeing Gabriel get it so... so effortlessly, while he has worked for it so long, nearly died because of it and still haven't been able to get that, to get the happy ending and sever all the connections with Heaven and Hell. It must have hurt like hell (most literally).

#pls someone do the humane thing and put a bullet in my head #i need to be locked away or sedated #preferably both #good omens spoilers #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #crowly x aziraphale #screaming crying rolling on the floor #anthony j crowley #gabriel #beelzebub

[sunderwight]

actually it's kind of wild that aziraphale left for heaven to try and save humanity and the human audience of the show has just been like "0/10 terrible decision go back to your demon partner" about it

aziraphale: I shall bravely sacrifice everything that makes me happy because I have a duty to protect the world

the world: boo no

#good omens #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #humanity: we got this bro go hug that sad wet snake and tell him you're sorry #humanity: we can handle jesus we've killed him before it's fine

[chernozemm]

absolutely obsessed with @mrghostrat s ceo/private assistant au

Guard dog 90s Crowley now lives rent free in my head

Ko-Fi

#ceo au #good omens #human au #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #myart #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale

[mrghostrat]

POV: you just tried to "steal a moment of aziraphale's time" without scheduling an appointment with his rabid guard dog PA first

#(he's late for lunch) #ceo / assistant au... save me ceo / assistant au...... #ceo au #rat draws #good omens #good omens human au #gomens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale

[ato-dato]

Here he is. It’s him. And he’s not gonna sell you his books.

#didn’t really like the name but didn’t have the heart to change it #he’s gonna have to walk around with a goofy ass name #sorry ma’am #good omens #good omens aziraphale #good omens season 2 #reverse au #Vinylatte #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #human aziraphale #good omens au #art #artwork #my art #fanart #digital art #drawing #reference sheet #character sheet

[waitingtobebroken]

The Vet! Aziraphale AU I keep talking about is finally here!

Doctor, Can You Take Care Of My Snake? (T, 4.6K, Complete)

Summary:

Aziraphale is determined to hate the man who has brought a venomous snake, native to Australia, to his vet clinic. Now, if only the man can stop being so charming and utterly besotted with her, this will be a lot easier.

Excerpt:

"Mr. Crowley," he greeted, as politely as he could possibly manage, while also gritting his teeth. "My name is Aziraphale. How can I help you today?" "Just Crowley." Even his voice was annoying. Deep and slightly rough around the edges. "It's the snake, you see. He hasn't been eating, well, anything." For one, the snake was very clearly a she. But what did he expect from someone who kept a snake like this as a pet. The man probably tried to feed her something ridiculous like vegetables. 

#good omens #good omens au #ineffable husbands #ineffable humans #gomens #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #good omens fanfiction #good omens human au #my writing

[bildadthefuckingshuite]

HELLO! I saw that you guys liked a lot my High School AU of GOOD OMENS so i drew more :]

H.H Educational Institution! The name of the institution was given from the surname of its founder, but the students tell that is:

H.H. Heaven and Hell. Heaven for nerds and Hell for misfits.

(Class A and Class B have separate proms. Class B usually has a party and Class A has a gala Ball)

#Crowley #Aziraphale #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #fanart #drawing #illustration #art #artists on tumblr #crowley x aziraphale #human aziraphale #human crowley

[foolishlovers]

Where a Canvas Blooms by foolishlovers

It’s an Arrangement. Aziraphale knows this. He knows a lot of things, and others he doesn’t, but the most important things, he knows. He knows that the cheeky redhead in his arms smiles and purrs when he runs his fingers through his hair, knows that Crowley’s hands are rough from working outside, knows the softness of his heart. Aziraphale doesn’t know he’s in love with Crowley until he does. But it’s just an Arrangement. Is it? Part 1 of The Cuddle Arrangement

word count: 3.8k rating: T relevant tags: Human AU, Trans Aziraphale, Trans Crowley, Touch-Starved Aziraphale, Touch-Starved Crowley, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Comfort, Pining art by the wonderful @omens-for-ophelia

#pls scream with me about the beautiful art i love it so much 😭 #also appreciating all the support/reblogs/comments!! 💜 #good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic #good omens human au #aziracrow #aziracrow fic #ineffable husbands #trans crowley #trans aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #foolish writes #where a canvas blooms #the cuddle arrangement #cuddle au

[v4guelyv4mpiric]

never forgiving you freaks for the kinky ass headcanons bc look at them. theres no way. Gabriel doesnt even know what sex is.

#/lh but still. gross to me. #they arent human they wouldnt care!! sex is a very human thing!!! #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens #good omens season two #lord beelzebub #archangel gabriel #beelzebub x gabriel

[lucradiss]

Thinking about how Aziraphale invented lying.

Because Crowley did not lie when he tempted Eve— he told her exactly what would happen, if she took a bite of the fruit of knowledge. She would know the difference between good and evil. He did not lie about that.

But Aziraphale gave away the sword appointed to him by God Herself, and then spun the very first lie to protect himself from her wrath.

Regardless of whether it was a small lie, it was a lie all the same, and a lie directly to God. He, an angel, told the very first lie, thereby inventing the act of lying.

Wouldn’t it be funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one?

#not art #good omens #gomens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziraphale is an angel and therefore should be a beacon of truth and goodness #and yet he invented lying #crowley on the other hand is a demon who was sent up to make trouble #and instead told truths!! and gave humans the opportunity to truly be good!!! #because goodness is not the absence of evil!!! #goodness is only achieved in spite of evil!!! #and crowley gave the gift of goodness to humans!! #oh god. I am so normal

[lonicera-caprifolium]

AU meet-cute in which they're both nude models for a local art class

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #or it can just be them regular doing something fun #but my personal intent was a human au #non-sexual nudity #artistic nudity #only chests are visible though

[mrghostrat]

fucking incredible art by @chernozemm (full on ao3)

flawless (E) (35k) (1/5)

When Crowley had snaked himself across the bar top, half purring, half snarling for Aziraphale to live a little, this wasn’t exactly what he meant by it. Not exclusively, anyway. If there was a list of possibilities, it may have been on there somewhere; scrawled as a hasty afterthought, perhaps under a subheading of Things That Would Surely Never Actually Happen. But the sight of Aziraphale lying naked and debauched in the middle of his black satin sheets was not something he was about to hesitate over. (If there was a second list, one surreptitiously scribbled on a napkin in the dark corner of a crowded bar, it would be titled Things Crowley Had No Right To Crave As Much As He Did, and it would start and end with this single bullet point)

@goodomensafterdark

#zemm i'm still fucking eating this art i can't breathe #good omens #everyone: ''i want to see more morally evil/dubious crowley in fics!!'' #*monkey paw curls* #good omens human au #gomens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #chernozemm #flawless au #rat writes

[bookshopbentley]

what an agonizing existence aziraphale must have . to be overflowing with love . to be forbidden from loving .

#this isn’t even explicitly about crowley #i mean yes it almost exclusively is . #but his depth of love for humanity . to feel the ache in his heart as they’re set up for failure over and over #clenches fists . #the cruel irony of an angel being afraid to love and a demon being afraid of not loving . #after 10pm i get awfully poetic idk #azicrow #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #ineffable fandom #ineffable spouses #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable divorce #ineffable partners #good ineffable omens #ineffable idiots #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #michael sheen #david tennant #neil gaiman #lgbt #lgbtq