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#incorrect bsd quotes
dazaiskinnie · 3 days
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Chuuya, trying to comfort a crying baby: What is your fucking problem?
Dazai: Why don’t you try singing to it chu.
Chuuya: What iiisss your fuuuucking problem…
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alien-slushie · 3 days
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Akutagawa: He's up to something.
Chuuya: He wants to be your friend.
Akutagawa: He's being nice to me, and keeps asking me to lunch.
Chuuya: Because he wants to be friends.
Akutagawa: But I won't fall for it! I'll find out what he wants, and put a stop to it.
Chuuya: Why do I even try?
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Dazai: Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved? Chuuya, holding a gun: I think a little.
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whateveranimex · 7 months
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Chuuya: So what's for dinner? Dazai: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise! Chuuya: ... Chuuya: Is it soup? Dazai: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* Chuuya: Please enough with the soup puns! Dazai: Wow, you're soup-per mean. Chuuya: STOP! *one hour later* Chuuya: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!
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Dazai : Hey.
Chuuya : How'd you find me ?
Dazai : july 14th, 2016. Demon Prodigy dazai osamu and king of sheep Nakahara Chuuya conducted our first partnership. This is where we came the night I won our bet and you fell in love with me.
Chuuya : Dazai.
Dazai : The day that you stepped on me for 20 seconds and I became obsessed with you forever.
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bandaged-bastard · 3 months
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Dazai calling Chuuya: C'mon, pick up already, slug.
Chuuya answering: Yes?
Dazai: Hi, my favorite partner ever~ wire me 2 500 dollars.
Chuuya: Hah? No! Why on earth would I do that?
Dazai: I need it for an escape room!
Chuuya: First of all, fuck you! You went to an escape room without me? And second of all, still no. What kind of escape room even is that expensive?
Dazai: Prison?
Chuuya: ...I'll be there in ten, idiot.
Dazai: I am not in Yokohama.
Chuuya: Neither am I. Make it 15 minutes. I am stopping for ice cream.
Dazai: I want ice cream too!
Chuuya: Too bad. Stay there and think about what you did, idiot.
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do u guys remember my grounded post
well im thinking about it again so
fukuzawa: considering that you all disobeyed orders and fought with the mafia i am hereby...
ada: *tense silence*
fukuzawa: grounding you.
junichiro:
junichiro: can- can you do that?
kunikida, trying not to cry: president i will never let you down
dazai:
kyouka: i... was grounded before
kenji: what does grounded mean
naomi: wait am i included in this
yosano: no one here knows wut grounded is
fukuzawa: oh is that so
ranpo: dummies
junichiro: i- i know what grounded means
kunikida: i too know what it means and it's a dishonorable thing to go through but alas i will go through this punishment-
dazai: ...grounded...
atsushi: i think i know... what grounded means
ranpo: i doubt it
atsushi:
atsushi: i think ive been grounded before
kyouka: me too
atsushi: its when they nail you to the floor right? its pretty painful... but i guess since-
kunikida, shouting: that IS NOT WHAT GROUNDED MEANS ATSUSHI WHAT THE FUCK
junichiro, pale: one day im going to learn something about you and it will be happy
naomi, also pale: doesn't have to be happy, just okay
kyouka: i think ive been grounded wrong then
kenji: that sounds awful!!
fukuzawa: atsushi, please report to yosano for a check up. again. also that is not what i mean by grounding.
atsushi: ...oh
atsushi: then i don't know what grounding means
dazai, patting his head: don't worry atsushi-kun. it made sense to me
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Dazai: Why does everyone keep assuming we’re a couple?
Chuuya: [sitting in Dazai's lap] Beats me.
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Dazai: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Chuuya, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you-
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poe-tat · 4 months
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Why you shouldn't read my mind pt. 1
15 SKK scenario lol
Dazai: CHIIIBIIIIIII
Chuuya: *eyes glued on his paper work* no
Dazai: please I'm bored and you don't even know what I was going to say
Chuuya: *looks up at him with a raised eyebrow* no you may not borrow my gun, no I do not know where the boss keeps the poison, no you may not hang yourself in my room and no you may not burn my hat
Dazai: ... Damn and that's not what I was going to ask you and the last one was expected actually...
Chuuya: okay what
Dazai: so you can bend the gravity of anything that you touch right?
Chuuya: yea?
Dazai: Okay great can you do this for me?
Chuuya: ??
[Later]
Yumeno(Q) : *pressing their fingers against their temples and concentrating very hard like they are trying to use telekinesis to eat pizza*
Chuuya: *has his hand on the pizza box and bending the gravity of the pizza to bring the pizza to Q's face*
Dazai: You can do it Q!!
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dazaiskinnie · 3 months
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Dazai: Truth or dare?
Chuuya: Truth
Dazai, smirking: I dare you to make out with me
Chuuya, climbing into Dazai's lap: You best believe I'm not here to lose.
Atsushi: …
Atsushi: He didn't even choose dare
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Chuuya: Oh come on Dazai. No soft spot for the one person who slept with you sober?
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whateveranimex · 3 months
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Chuuya: *dangles hand off bed*
Dazai, under the bed: *grabs hand*
Chuuya: This is nice
Chuuya: Wait, why the fuck are you under my bed-
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[Reading cards]
Chuuya : Pick a card. Any card.
Dazai : ‘kay!
Chuuya :
Chuuya : ‘Any card’ does not include my credit card, put that back in my wallet.
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bandaged-bastard · 3 months
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Dazai: Are you mad?
Chuuya: No.
Dazai: So sharpening knives at 2 am is just a hobby?
Chuuya: It's for people who come uninvited inside my place at 2 fucking am
Dazai: Oh good. I thought you were mad.
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