#in english? very bizarre

[yinyuedijun]

pain of wanting to name a fic title after an easian song or phrase but you aren't writing for an easian coded character and the translation sounds weird as fuck in english

#this is what i get for liking a natural blonde #he shouldnt even be blonde tbh why is my man white when hes romani coded afdisaklfshldsh #my problem still stands though #'magic lily' in korean or chinese? very nice 👍👍👍 #in english? very bizarre #there is a reason i left the title of fengyue in chinese lol i was like ........i cannot be assed to translate this #yueshuo

[brookheimer]

the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho. #LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys. #succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

[viric-dreams]

I may have lost this painting when I quit my drawing programme, but I can offer a small writing snippet to accompany the WIP screenshot, so it's not all gone to waste:

“What are you painting?”

Tamara hadn’t heard Ockham come in, but the way the corners of her vision shift around her, harsh lines of light softening to a dreamy blur, she should’ve realised it much sooner.

“It’s the view from my bedroom balcony. In Varchas,” she says, choosing her words carefully in a tongue that still feels foreign and clunky.

Ockham squints, studying the painting with a furrowed brow, and the expression suddenly reminds her of her auntie. Tamara shakes her head, dismissing the illogical comparison. They clearly look nothing alike. They shouldn’t, at least.

Ockham’s hand traces along the line of a wall of mirrors, where it intersects with a planter containing long dead greenery, careful not to touch the still wet paint. She’s suddenly aware that the perspective on the planter is off, and makes a mental note to fix it as soon as she’s able.

“It is not a very nice view,” Ockham finally says.

Although it’s a somewhat rude thing to say, it’s not entirely wrong. There was nothing special or aesthetically pleasing about the view. She’d barely paid it any mind herself, in all of the years she’d lived and slept in that room. The part of her brain that had been slowly developing since she’d picked up this new hobby urged her to move some elements, give the piece stronger tones than the monotonous muddy yellow characteristic of Varchaasi evenings. But that would go against the aim of painting it in the first place.

“It is not a very nice view, no. But it’s the one I had, and if I don’t paint it how it was, I fear one day I won’t remember how it really looked like anymore.”

Ockham’s studying her now, and she wishes, not for the first time, that she had any insight into her flatmate and companion’s mind, whether it even worked the same way as a real person’s would. If Ockham would find her thought offensive.

“Ok.”

“Ok?” she repeats, confused.

“Ok,” Ockham nods, then moves away from the painting towards the door, “I go now to the market. Is there something not on the list that we need?”

She nods no, then catches herself and changes the motion.

“No, nothing.”

“Ok.”

Ockham is gone again. This time she hears the door click closed. With a sigh, she draws her brush across the canvas, determined to fix that planter before it cements itself as warped in her memories.

#tamara #ockham #my art #and they were roommates #oh my god they were roommates #this is set in early days after tamara's arrival in london #when she is still picking up english (though honestly speaks it much better than ockham by this point) #and has just picked up drawing/painting in her free time #and ockham is still recovering from an identity crisis after learning heshethey is a parabolan reflection #ockham isn't in the flat very often and they only recently overcame a language barrier #so they haven't really gotten to know each other all that well #but it will come #especially when tamara starts to learn flemish because she feels it would make ockham more comfortable than using english #but for now a bit of 'what is wrong with my bizarre flatmate' slice of life #how i approach ockham's pronouns in non-meta settings is a whole other writing piece #and i couldn't introduce it here without derailing from a short piece #so that's for the future

[antiqua-lugar]

For Not-Italians, an Italian rapper said "Stop the genocide" at the end of his final performance at the Sanremo Song Contest and got called out by the Israel embassy for "spreading hate".

You can read the article for yourself, but what the article doesn't say is that our goverment who is now falling over themselves to support Israel and claiming to fight against all anti semitism is lead by the Brothers of Italy (Fratelli d'Italia) which is a fascist party.

#'we are not antisemitic' you think mussolini and his racial laws were great! #italy #also can we stop pointing out ghali is of tunisian descent. i know why they are doing it. been there done that. #ghali #sanremo 2024 #hope there are no typos I'm sleep deprived #i'm just very bitter about my country and how it's being painted in this scenario #i don't live there anymore but I understand it's a mess #and once again the government is pitting the minorities against each other #also is everyone hyperfocusing on ghali because he openly used the word genocide or because he is of tunisian descent? we'll see #also the translation of his speech was kinda bizarre but I am too tired to check what is bothering me the english just sounds bad

[glitchdecay]

bad news: Noct doesn't actually use ぶす ("ugly") in the Japanese dialogue of the opening scene of Episode Gladiolus. good news: it comes down to the same thing (in a way).

ノクティス：さらにガラが悪くなったよな

Spelldaggers, the project that translated the game directly from the Japanese version, translated it as: Noctis: And it makes you ugly.

if *I* were to translate it, it'd be: Noctis: You look even more like a thug now.

which is (unfortunately) closer to the English version's "Worse than looking like some kind of thug?", but let me explain.

the exact phrase Noct uses here is ガラが悪い (literally "[a] bad type [of person]"), which is often used to describe delinquents and people with no good manners. and these kinds of people are often depicted as ugly.

have you seen Kiryu from the Yakuza/Like a Dragon series? i'd describe him (based on his literally being in the yakuza) as ガラが悪い... he ain't ugly though. but i digress.

in any case, this is just a case of light banter between Noct and Gladio, so i wouldn't read into it too deeply.

#man am i glad it's the very first scene in the dlc #but i love gladio and his character arc #anyway #if anyone barges in saying ''but english version gladio—'' #hush. #i play with japanese audio and this is how *i* see gladio. the one that exists in the japanese version. #and honestly you're missing out #because kenta miyake is delicious as gladio #did you know he also dubbed thor in the MCU? #and was delightfully a pained anti-hero as scar in my favorite anime ever、fullmetal alchemist brotherhood? #or if you prefer another brotherly road trip series (okay it's not *as* brotherly as ffxv but it's lit): #he's also mohammed avdol in jojo's bizarre adventure #final fantasy xv #gladiolus amicitia #noctis lucis caelum #ffxv: episode gladiolus #n plays ffxv #this is too many tags i need to be stopped

[romanceyourdemons]

i really love when something with english subtitles was translated by someone who doesn’t speak english natively, and they use english words and idioms that, while undeniably the most accurate to the situation, no native english speaker born after 1930 has ever actually used

#and to be clear i’m assuming the translator isn’t a native english speaker based on the grammar errors they’re making #which are relatively unintuitive to native english speakers but are very natural in mandarin #i’m not assuming that based off the idioms my own speech cadence is too bizarre to do that in good conscience #ryddles

[mimithealpaca]

"i wanna draw shippy art, so give me a ship!" #9

I... I had a lot of trouble with this one. Originally was going to have Yami!Bakura holding Bakura's chin while Bakura looked a little lost or soulless. Of course, I have no idea if such posing was in character or not... and then! I remembered that these characters have Millennium Puzzles or whatever. And I looked up what Bakura's was, and it was the Ring. So I was like... what if they are both holding it in their mouths, because symbolism, and also because that would be suggestive, and suggestive is totes in the realm of shippy? But then. But then I couldn't figure out the bodies or the faces and so I was like, HOW ABOUT JUST THEIR FACES. But then I was really struggling with the G pen (first time using it was today!) and then... and then... yeah. I was like. Why don't I just. Fix my mistakes digitally. But that didn't turn out well either. So I just redrew it, reiterating on the previous pose idea, but making it smaller so it was easier to ink, and by this point, I was very tired.

ALSO WTF IS GOING ON WITH YAMI!BAKURA'S HAIR?!?! WHAT ARE THOSE WING THINGS AAAAAAA

#tendershipping #yami bakura #bakura ryou #ygo #yugioh #ygo bakura #so... why is this ship called tendershipping lol? #d-do i even want to know? #look the extent of my ygo knowledge is that the shadow realm was something the american english dub made up #and that ygo has always been weird and bizarre. lil me just didn't recognize it #honestly most of what i did watch as a kid got overwritten by the ygo abridged series... #like i don't remember kaiba very well aside from his obsession with the blue eyes white dragon #but ygo kaiba? SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY #is still a joke i make to this day #oh god did i just date myself #asdfadsf #gpen #traditional art #nib pen #ink #mimithealpaca #i guess these are doodles #doodles #sketchbook #i want to draw shippy art 2023

[starringplatinum]

back at it again with my silly little stocean edits B)

#my posts #stone ocean #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #hermes costello #narciso anasui #weather report #stone ocean spoilers #im very proud of these #i simply think vitiligo weather is a god tier headcanon and i wish i saw it more #blue anasui is my fav of his colour palettes no explanation needed #and every day i miss hermes' gold eyes more #oh man i forgot abt her alt name spelling for a sec #ermes costello #there #sorry im used to the english manga translation and also just like it more #anyways batch 3 killed me Fucking Dead how are you all doing #hermes #anasui #forgot i tagged chars by just their first names on this blog fr the most part so i added the last 2 tags

[skunkes]

i wish i had access to knowledge of all events that occurred in history for to write ocs with

#talkys #i already hate research enough considering im not making anything non fiction but like #come onnn i have a non aztec mesoamerican vampire to develop its not fair we dont have every single possible detail on dis #semi related but there are people who still speak indigenous languages y tambien son hispanohablantes #and its hard enough to find videos of people speakin some of em ! much less to ever envision what the accent would sound like if they spoke #english ykwim #*spongebob flying ice cream truck* saying this very lightheartedly i am obviously not getting bizarrely actually #upset over people in mexico not speaking english on top of the other languages they know #solely so i can envision an oc better

[concerto-roblox]

i'm finally reading the jojo manga and one of my favourite things about it so far is when they randomly have a double page spread labelling all the parts of something and detailing how it works like akira's guitar, stray cat, and the transmission tower. every time i'm like haha yes... this pleases my autism greatly

#and fact files!! tell me the facts bitch!! #these are just things i miss about comics in general tbh #i forgot how much i like them!! #and i'm having such a great time reading jojo ugh #i'm reading the official physical english volumes of part 4 and it's soo much better than reading it on a computer or phone #unfortunately i'm gonna have to read sbr and jojolion on my computer since they don't have official english volumes yet </3 #but i have to be caught up for jojolands!! #also kind unrelated but up until recently i was reading jojolion as jojoloin... as loins 😭 #i was very confused to say the least but it wouldn't be the weirdest thing in jojo #anyway #how to be cringe 101 #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure

[whatudottu]

I am currently very sleep deprived! So instead of doing anything about it I made memes (where it’s only 3 unique jokes across 5 images) about the thoughts plaguing my head- Andromeda 5 edition!

#prypiatosian-b #orishan #talpaedan #amperi #geochelone aerio #andromeda 5 #ben 10 #xenobiology #headcanon #meme #i suppose outside of what has been stated- i think about turtles/tortoises for GAs and squids/jellyfish for amperi #as it stands #come back to me when i have developed more bizarre thoughts i might come back with some alien thoughts #i said 'thoughts' twice that annoys me #i have had more time to futz with my thoughts on prypiatosians (as a general sweep) because i think the b addition makes them intriguing #like obviously there's an 'a' of sorts- it's an english translation of the species name #everything changed when the 'fucked-up-deer' redesign attacked #and then i gave orishan cockroach bullshit because i thought radioactive fucked up deer would be extremely touch starved #and who else to get your physical contact quota than from your very own husband #talpaedans having ant/bee gender structure was completely out of left field outside of thinking about construction equipment #i wonder what i can do to make GAs and amperi a little more (real world animal inspired) alien #outside of the fact that one's a literal turbine and the other can just dissolve into pure electrical current

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY im a bitch but masumi mever actually apologizes to Ichi. i went through the trouble of finding the raw jp sub just to confirm a suspicion LMAO but it's more like "i troubled you with masato" and ichi immediately goes on defensive saying it's no trouble

NONETHELESS he does not apologize and yet i think your post is still valid........... Anyway sorry i just dislike some of the adaptations made from jp-eng it mischaracterizes some of the characters in a couple of scenes

i cant be mad about a correction LMAO THANK YOU (mfers who should be apologizing are the hooligans outside of my window rn shut up it's 10PM ☠️☠️)

#snap chats #im just a dumb american who only bothers to have access to the localization translations of the japanese and english dubs #so im always grateful for the extra step people take to double check #tho it does make me realize /i/ should probably start to care more too.. it makes me look foolish #though you say the post is valid i feel like deleting it now- i wont tho just so this ask doesnt look bizarre out of context #thats the frustrating part of translation isnt it: its a delicate craft and doing it one way can really botch things #'i troubled you' and 'burdening' someone are in the same vein but the injection of 'sorry' really does change the tone of the statement #i guess it can be implied that he's sorry but that's very different from outright saying it #in any case my ears are burning and i dont like that SO im going to chug this seltzer #no im not i have a tummy ache :( #euuugh i dont want to write about reagonomics.. #ill do it in a minute just gimme a sec..

[a-book-of-creatures]

I think I stumbled upon some kind of ichthyological forbidden knowledge. Opened up a book of names that were never meant to be read.

You've probably heard of "can-opener smoothdream", right? It's practically a meme by now.

But the thing is, it's a deep-sea fish. And deep-sea fish have historically not had English names because nobody drops them into the conversation over a hot cuppa. Sure, there's generic stuff like hatchetfish and barreleye, but when you want to refer to the actual fish you're probably saying such euphonious phrases as Diretmus argenteus, Sternoptyx diaphana, or maybe even Opisthoproctus soleatus.

So whence "can-opener smoothdream"? Certainly no non-ichthyologist has ever used that name. It's not even a direct translation of the scientific name Chaenophryne longiceps - that would be "long-headed gape-toad". Which to me is even cooler than "can-opener smoothdream".

But I digress. The "dream" bit comes from the anglerfish family Oneirodidae, from oneiros, "dream", because those marvelous fishes look like they came out of a dream (Pietsch, 2009).

Note that Pietsch (2009), more or less the anglerfish bible, uses English names at the genus level only. So Chaenophryne is the smoothhead dreamers genus but no mention is made of "can-opener smoothdreams". So no luck there.

Wikipedia, root cause of a lot of misinformation, has this to say.

"Longhead dreamer" is a far more accurate name. And in fact, despite Wikipedia prioritizing "can-opener smoothdream" (because it's funny?), the links listed use "longhead dreamer" and "smoothhead dreamer" as the name and "can-opener smoothdream" as an alternative.

So. Again. Where did "can-opener smoothdream" come from?

The answer, as it turns out, lies with McAllister (1990).

In the book A List of the Fishes of Canada, ichthyologist D. E. McAllister sought out to list every single fish known to Canadian waters, providing both an English and a French name.

And when there wasn't an English name, like for most deep-sea fishes, he arbitrarily gave them a name. And his names "differ in many instances from the widely accepted names" (Holm, 1998)

This had varying results. This is his name for one of the netdevil anglerfishes.

The humpback anglerfish or blackdevil anglerfish becomes a werewolf (????).

This one is just confusing.

The white-spotted lanternfish or Rafinesque's lanternfish instead becomes...

And most embarrassingly, the Mediterranean spiderfish gets saddled with something that "violates the tenet of good taste" (Holm, 1998).

This then is the original source of "can-opener smoothdream". It was invented by an ichthyologist in 1990, and has seen little to no use outside of how bizarre the name is.

Maybe McAllister's goofier names will catch on. Who knows? They certainly aren't very popular in the scientific community though.

References

Holm, E. (1998) Encyclopedia of Canadian Fishes (review). The Canadian Field-Naturalist, 112, p. 174-175.

McAllister, D. E. (1990) A List of the Fishes of Canada. National Museum of Natural Sciences, Ottawa.

Pietsch, T. W. (2009) Oceanic Anglerfishes: Extraordinary Diversity in the Deep Sea. University of California Press, Berkeley.

#marine biology #fishes #can-opener smoothdream

[hamletthedane]

cw transphobia

obviously this is an extremely bizarre tweet that got ratioed to hell and back, but it’s also hilarious that of all the authors in the entire English literary canon, she somehow landed on Shakespeare as the epitome of cisnormative writing.

like ma’am shakespeare’s characters go on stage and announce their gender to the audience within the first few lines in nearly every play. Including…you know….the very play you reference???

#ah yes…the famously strictly cisnormative writer shakespeare #cw transphobia #cw homophobia #shakespeare #willy shakes #queer stuff

[philsjumpers]

my hot take is none of phil's 'wild northern childhood anecdotes' are actually at all weird he just phrases things in a funny way. dan lost his mind abt the whole dog warden thing and the literal story was just 'i won a school contest as a kid and got to meet the mayor of a small town'. when i was that age i was in the newspaper for making a flute out of a sweet potato small english primary schools were just LIKE that. this is not a dig btw it's just proof phil is a comedy genius bc he makes all these very normal things sound absolutely bizarre just by stringing words together in a way no human being has ever previously managed

#and i love him. and i laugh more at dan losing his mind every time than at the actual stories #dnp #phan #<for the fandommetrics even tho theres no WAY we get number 1 this week lmao #amazingphil #dan and phil

[fictionalslvr]

Part two part three

SYNOPSIS:Ghost is your new neighbor in your apartment complex, everyone is afraid of him, but not you. You're the only one to be kind with him.

PAIRING: (Based of comic but that's not 100% canon) Simon Riley neighbor x F¡Reader

WORD COUNT:3.500k

WARNINGS: Fluffy, angst, mentions of blood, war, s.a (not directly) etc.

NOTES:Ghost past is based on his comics, i'll prob make this one a mini serie (if you guys like), a lot different then what i usually write for, but i hope you guys enjoy without being what you guys are used on this blog, i'm planning to write both, angst and smut, even mix them sometimes. So, i hope you guys enjoy :(

(And again, tell me if there's something wrong, english is not my first language.)

It’s been a long while since you lived alone, and it’s been a very comfortable life since then. At first, it made you feel uneasy, after a long while, you were getting used to it, and having a place to call yours it’s everything you wanted before. Your apartment is cozy, organized with things you like, and you always try your best to keep it clean. The neighborhood is quite calm as well, you were living peacefully in this apartment complex.

That was until a new neighbor came in. He was a tall guy, he had a mysterious aura around him, it’s the quiet type and you don’t hear him speaking so often, actually, you never heard. To be honest, he doesn’t stay in his apartment too much, it’s the one above you, and hearing him it’s unusual. Maybe it is his work that keeps him so far for too long, you can’t say exactly what he works with, since you don’t know him properly. The only thing you know is that he keeps his face a mystery, always walking with a black balaclava that shows only his eyes, and this is a mystery you were dying to get to know. One day, while walking back to your humble home, you took the same elevator as the new neighbor, the silence that creeps out is weird, and you keep your eyes everywhere, but not on him. The silence was bizarre, and it seemed like it was going to take forever! When the elevator door opens in your floor, you can only rushes out of that tiny place with that man, that almost make you hyperventilate.

He looked calm during it, laying his back in the walls while his arms were crossed and he was looking distracted. With a quick but gentle movement, you just nod your head to him when leaves, he looks surprised by it, and nods back after some seconds staring at you. The metal door closes slowly, showing no more his figure.

But your encounters with him were always like this. Some head nods and sometimes a smile from your part, But the mystery this man is, no one knows him well enough for a talk, and this was making you insane, All days, you caught yourself thinking about him, how his voice sounded like, how his face is behind that mask, what he works with, what is his name, his age..things like that kept haunting your thoughts. Until one day, you decided to make a slight move, asking for some ingredient would be a great way to hear his voice, and maybe later baking him something to give it to him.

You sigh, you heard some footsteps, he must be home today. You knock on the door, gently with your hands shaking. It doesn’t take too much until your ears peak with the sound of him getting close to the door. His figure appears when he opens just half of the door.

—”May I help you?” —His voice is raspy, calm and relaxed at the same time. You notice how he has a strong British accent. From this distance, you can smell his scent, it’s strong and smells like whiskey and cigarettes, it’s oddly…comforting.

—”Sorry for bothering, I'm the neighbor below, I just want to know…if you have some sugar to give, by any chance.” —With a cute smile, you show him a little bowl in your hands that he can put the sugar in, the man narrows his eyes at you and nods.

—”Yes, I do. wait a minute.” — His fingers brush against yours when he takes the bowl in your hands and goes inside for a while. He leaves the door slightly open, and you just wait outside hearing his heavy footsteps around the house. When he’s back, your little bowl is filled with sugar, and he gives it back to you, his fingers brushing yours again.

—”Thanks, this will help a lot. I’m making cookies…would you like some?” — Your gentle voice was hard to ignore, he slowly nodded, and you can hear a little chuckle escaping his lips. It’s very good to hear, you felt your heart skipping a beat, he’s leaning against the door frame, looking at you.

—”Thanks for the sugar, I'm [name] by the way." —He keeps silent for a while, like he’s listening to your voice attentively.

—”It was nothing. I’m glad to help you, [name].”—You were expecting that he would say his name, but he just tries your name on his tongue. The tense ambient between you two is noticeable when the silence is back. You can only hum softly and look away.

—’What is…your name?”

—Simon. Call me Simon.”

—”Oh…okay Simon, thanks again and pleasure to meet you. Goodbye!”—Was a short talk, but it was enough to make your heart flutter with the warmth of his voice. You wave at him and he waves back, then all you can see is his back turning, his figure fading inside his house.

Quickly, you made your way back, still shivering a little, scared that he might think you’re weird. With a loud sigh, you close the door behind you, feeling safe inside your home. You know his name now…Simon. His voice is raspy and deep, and yet, makes you feel like you want to hear this voice every morning, the warmth of his body so close, his dark eyes staring at you making your legs weak. Everything about him didn't sound cold as they describe him.

He wasn’t that cold, deep and dark, no. He sounded so sweet and endearing to you, you just wish you could meet him better, talk to him more, listen to his voice, feel his presence towering at you, his expressions that you can only understand by his eyes, and you find this very beautiful, understand his feeling through his eyes, hear his warm chuckle filling the hall and not leaving your ears. It was memorable, even if it looked silly or too short. You felt really happy for doing that ‘move’.

Your kitchen is filled by a sweet smell, it’s the cookies you baked, with cute gloves around your hands, you take the plate with cookies and blow the steam off softly, Okay…you should give this to Simon now. You left a cute note too, that says ‘Enjoy the cookies, i hope its good :D’

After one hour of your visit, Simon doesn't stop thinking about his neighbor. You're sweet, you're the only one in this complex that had the courage to talk to him, the other ones just look at him from afar and give him some judgmental glances. But you...you came to talk, and was smiling too! That definitely means you're not afraid of him, that you're willing to talk to him even when he's using that balaclava all the time. His thoughts are interrupted by some knock on his door, and weirdly…he hopes it's you again. He walks to the door and opens, with some kind of rush, but he doesn't see your cute smiling figure, no…he looks everywhere and there's no sight of you, but looking down, he finds a little plate painted with flowers, there's some cookies on it and a note too. He bends his body down a little and smiles through the balaclava. Picking up the plate, he can sense the smell of the warm cookies, it's still a bit hot, the steam in the air, blowing a delightful scent. He enters his apartament again, closing the door with his feet as he looks at the cookies in his hands, they look delicious. Simon starts to read the post-it in the plate, it has a message for him

"Enjoy the cookies, i hope it's good :D"

-[Name]

That's cute, he thought. It takes a chuckle out of him. His stomach starts to snore in hunger, that smell filling his brain and all he can think about is…why is she being so nice? No one in this complex was ever this nice with him, somehow, they seem to be scared of him, disgusted, or even feel pity for him. But being kind? She's the first one and all he can think about is the reasons she's doing this. He's a stoic soldier, who works a lot, doesn't stay at home too much, smells of whiskey and cigarettes, he doesn't show his face, he's tall, looks scary…why is she not afraid of Simon? He sighs and shakes his head. Sitting on his couch with a loud sigh, he rests his head back while eating her cookies, it's indeed delicious as the smell, it's house made and tastes like love. He can't help but leave a joyful hum at the taste.

—"Why is this so good?" —He talks to himself, that seems a little crazy, but he's his only company for a long while, so he's used to this. She could have poisoned him with these cookies, but no, her intentions were good. He's a cautious man, always thinking of his work, and his work only. But now? He can only taste these good cookies and wish for more, he wishes he could taste a lot of things that she made, seeing her cooking would be adorable, and the taste and smell of it only fills his heart with love, the love he never experienced before. Simon caught himself thinking of being with her, on her apartment, seeing her cook while she mumbles a song to herself, moving her body along the kitchen so cutely, he can't help but think that he wants this for his life, this peaceful mind for once, being at easy, without all the fear his work provides. And for once, rest his mind.

But she's only a kind neighbor, he shouldn't be thinking of this. He shouldn't be thinking of coming back after a long mission, and seeing her lips curling into a smile, feeling her little arms hugging him because she missed him too much, he doesn't have this. And he thinks he didn't even deserve this peace. All the people he killed with his hands, the blood he dropped, the fear in people's gaze when he's around, he's not the one who should be at a comfort in home, happy and living good, no. He thinks he doesn't deserve this at all. She's probably just being kind, why would she enjoy his company after all? He doesn't have anything good in him, he's only a stoic man, with scars, a bad past and a hard work to do that makes his hands dirty. He's sure a man like him doesn't have this.

As for you, you didn't want to bother him with your presence again, so you just left the cookies on his door, rushing back to the elevator when you knocked on the door. You wish you could see his reaction, but you don't want to disturb his peace once more, talking a lot while he just listens. You really wish he liked it. While you're on your couch, your legs are moving up and down quickly, in a nervous movement, you can't help but bite your nails, your other fingers fidgeting on your lap, as your mind is full of thoughts about his reaction. Will he like it? What if he finds you annoying? What if he finds you weird and doesn't want you around? Gosh, your mind is tricking yourself. You sigh loudly and decide to try some sleep, this will maybe put your mind at ease once, meeting new people wasn't that easy for you.

By the morning, you woke up, not from the sunlight on your body, flashing on your eyes, not from the discomfort in your back from your sleeping positions, not from your cat resting in your tummy, none of this. But, you woke up by the sound of a knock in your door, a single one, who could be this early? You get up, leaving your little cat resting now in the bed, the sunlight keeping her warm. Your vision is still a little blurry, you rub your eyes with your fingers and walk to the door, opening without thinking too much about it, and the sight of who’s here messes your mind, making your vision immediately fix alone and your mind races, the sleep left your body.

—”Sorry for appearing so early. I am…going to work. And just wanted to say thanks for the cookies last night, they were delicious.” —Simon spoke softly, he seems not sleepy at all now, but his baggy eyes show that maybe he didn’t sleep, that’s why he’s so energetic now. You blush softly, his voice is even more deep in the morning, that British accent never leaving his tongue as he speaks.

—”Oh, that’s okay, I'm glad you liked it, Simon.” —Your voice sounded dragged by the remaining sleep, but you managed to give him a little smile. You want to know what he works with to leave this early.

—”I can see you were sleeping, sorry.” —Simon looks away, scratching the back of his neck even with the balaclava, scratching the silk of it. You look at your body and notice you're with your pajamas, it’s an old one, that is now short for you, and you can’t help but blush for Simon seeing you like this.

—”Don’t worry about it. Would you…like some coffee?” —You try to change the subject, hoping he won’t talk about your pajamas. A silence stays for a long while, Simon looks into your eyes, he’s surprised about your offer and it's visible. He can only nod and mumbles under his breath. He knows that he shouldn't be accepting this, he doesn’t deserve to have a calm breakfast, with someone who doesn't look at him disgusted by his acts, someone that is too innocent, that doesn't know what those hands did, what his ears listened to, what his eyes saw. For a brief second, he had a flashback of his past, everything he did. You're kind because you don’t know this man, don’t know the danger he could be to someone so innocent like you, who could literally break you with those blood painted hands.

You invite him inside, he’s now on your table, tapping his fingers on your table, as your figure is with you back turned to him, making coffee. This house is so cozy, warm and…a bit feminine, he could say. Simon looks in every detail, noticing how there's a lot of photos of you with what seems to be your family. You have someone that cares about you, everything he had vanished like dust, you’re so lucky for having a family. He wonders, if your family would take care of him too, if they would accept him like a son, and yet…he doesn’t have nothing with you, just some small talk. Maybe he is only overthinking. Your voice snaps him out of a trance, while he looks at your photos around the house.

—”How do you like your coffee? With sugar?”—He drives his attention to you again, who’s looking at him from your shoulder. He likes sugar, it’s something that can distract him from his bitter life.

—”With sugar, please.” —And after a while, in a good and comforting silence, you pour the coffee in two cups, putting one in front of the man on her table. He looks so much bigger than her chair, it’s a little funny, in a good way. The steam flows from their cups as Simon looks down to it, his face is hard to read, after all, only his eyes appear. Then, you caught yourself wondering, how he would drink the coffee with that balaclava.

—”I won’t look, i promise.”—You looks away, while blowing the steam and taking a sip of your coffee to disguise your nervous manner, bad idea, it was hot as hell, it burn your tongue, and you hiss in pain, dropping the cup back into the table quickly, happily, it didn’t break, You make a pout with your lips, your tongue hurts a lot now.

—”Oh, are you…okay?” —Simon left everything he was thinking behind and walked in front of you. He kneels down to level his height, since you’re sitting in the chair. His figure bends down to yours, his hands are shaking when he touches your arm slightly, like he’s afraid to make you uncomfortable.

—”Is’h okay…”—Your voice sounds weird, since your tongue hurts, you can’t speak properly. Simon takes a cup from your sink and pour the sink water on it, it’s not cold, neither hot. He kneels back, looking up to your eyes and giving you the cup with water.

—”Here, warm water will help.” —You do as he advises and drink the water without hesitation. The burden sensation easen a little, he seems to know what to do in this kind of situation.

—”How did you knew…thanks.”—Deciding to interrupt your question, you just say thanks to him. He looks right into your eyes, his expression seems softer a little, seeing you’re a little better.

—”My job…makes me learn how to prepare yourself for all kinds of situations.” —He talks a little about his job, not revealing what exactly it is. You look down at him, keeling down on his knees while looking worried about you, his hands still shaking, wandering on his knees, not touching you to make you uncomfortable. After all he passed through, he wouldn’t want someone like you to feel the same.

—”Thanks, it helped somehow. You’re really prepared for this.”

—”It’s my job to protect people. We have our ways to do so.” —Simon gets up from the ground and walks back to his chair, in front of you, slightly he lifts up his balaclava, revealing only his mouth and drinks a sip. The coffee it's not as hot as it was before. In a sign of respect, you look away, not wanting to invade his privacy, and he appreciates this a lot. After the burden sensation ends, you drink your now cold coffee, both in silence as you look away all the time, even with the curiosity to see his lips, you won’t do it. And by his words, you can guess what he works with…maybe he’s a doctor, a firefighter…a military?

—”The coffee is delicious, thanks for this.”—He feels himself going back to when his mom was alive, she was the only one who would really care about him, making him coffee…and this moment reminds him about her. It still hurts. A lot. He sighs softly, and you can say he’s thinking about something, but you won’t ask.

—”You often stay a lot of days out for work, no? Seems like a hard job.”

—”A very hard one, everything I do, changes a life. Big choices, big responsibilities…”

—”I understand…at least, I hope you can rest when you’re at home.”

—”It depends. I don’t really have any time to rest.” —You can hear Simon sigh, he’s really tired of this job. You still look away, not seeing his lips exposed a little. This moment, it’s the first one he could rest, even for a bit, not rest his body, but rest his mind.

—”And…will you stay out for days this time?”

—”Who knows.”

It’s not a question, it’s a statement. What a bad life he has, staying out for days, and when he’s back, he can’t even rest his mind. This moment, he wishes he could live like this forever, hearing your soft voice as you look around to respect his privacy, he didn’t even need to ask for, you knew somehow. Your cozy and warm apartment, it’s a lot different from his, his is almost empty, boring, sad. But yours? Had memories, life, and happiness. He wishes he could stay there forever. And he knows his duty, saving the world, saving citizens, or he could say…killing lives on exchange to save others. Making his hands dirty, so no one would need to do, only to see people like you, who has a family, a happy life, a rested mind, that’s why he does his job, so people like you can live without worries. In exchange, he sees things horrific, he hears screams in his ears that live on his mind, his body ends up tired and sore from all of this, just to see your smile on your face. He had a terrible childhood, he fought for his life, lost everything that was dear to him, in order to keep the peace in the world. In order to meet you, to see your brilliant smile. At least, he likes to think that way, this makes his life less insignificant, it’s like he’s a hero, when he knows he’s not. It’s just better to see this way, and hope it’s the truth, hope it’s not his imagination, trying to make him less guilty for everything he did all his life.

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