#im tired and cracking up at this

[uponasoapboxb]

popping in to inform y’all that i caved and opened character ai for some giggles

i wound up creating the “Silly Goose Defense” with ai matt murdock

#matt murdock #daredevil #character ai #i dont really support ai though #i will admit im unfamiliar with the ethics of character ai #marvel #someone write a fic #silly goose defense #also lets ignore the disappearance #no time has passed actually #matt murdock x reader #this is not technically x reader #it can be a prompt though? #idk man #im tired and cracking up at this

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I imagine barnaby trying to be all cool and flirting with howyd subtly but his smoke gives him away fjsns

he thinks he's smooth smh...

#cracking up thinking about this ngl #like howdy continues on with work #and whoever's at the table with barn - lets say uhhhh idk julie #is like 'awww your smoke turns pink when you talk to him' #and barn just freezes a la 'excusemeitfuckingWHAT' #aaaand Slam that panic button #bbg didnt know.... #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #anyway i think ill never draw a better howdy #i squandered my Him points on an au scribble- AN AU SCRIBBLE #ive peaked ill never get any better! #< lie. there's always room for improvement and reaching new heights #on the flip side i had such a rough time with barn #its always an exchange - i can either draw a good howdy or a good barn Never both smh #still though idk How this came out as good as it has i have not drawn in days #nary a line nor doodle to be found... #but covid is wearing off and babey i am BACK! #slowly. it beat me up pretty good ngl #it took me tf out im gonna be extra tired for a while... #but since my congestion has cleared up and im not Hacking and Sniffling anymore #stream soon probably! Normal Stream To Get Back In The Swing Of Things #it feels like ive been sick for a thousand years but i think its been like #three days??? i really dont know... #i hope everyone is doing well and Not getting covid. wear your mask #i wore mine but my stepdad didnt and Look What Fuckin Happened

[ariseastrae]

Why is it that people accept that someone can be certain they want to end up in a relationship, yet they can not accept the idea that a person can be certain don't want a relationship?

#asexual #aromantic #ace spectrum #aromantism #queer #lgbt #lgbt+ #aroace #im just late night thinking about how my brother is always like #/maybe one day youll realise u want a relationship and thats okay/ #any time i mention even the slightest thing thats barely even connected to being aroace #yet if i had told him i was bi or gay he would never say any of that #why can people be certain they want a relationship yet others can not be certain they dont #its bullshit #and im just fucking tired #i understand the whole amatonormativity #i get how our society and media has impacted our way of thinking and acting #i just need to scream this into the void #or it would eat my up inside till the shells started cracking

[vind3miat0r]

"I... feel...."

i also feel. i feel tired 👍

#TWO ART POSTS FROM VINN??? WOAW #bruh im so tired #ahem #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redactedaudio #redacted vega #redacted fanart #vinn draws things #vinn cant anatomy #i love the way i made his horns look cracked #bro got glued back together frfr #and all the white gradients were black beforehand #... #yes i got the idea from dsmp. NOW SHUT UP—

[thermodynamic-comedian]

listen. i do not ever want anything bad to happen to lena kelley. however i do want her to, at some point, be in so much distress that someone has to comfort her. do you understand.

#and i want that someone to be alice. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. #if i speak... #ive been calling them alina #in my head #which i think is cute #what if our names combined into a real first name...and we were both girls.... #anyways yeah. #save me alina hurt/comfort...alina hurt/comfort save me.... #i want lena to collapse into alice's arms and cry about how she's been so tired. so scared. so alone. for all these years. #about how many people she's watched die right in front of her eyes. people she cared about. #about how she knows alice and sam and gwen and colin and celia aren't save either. #and that she's so scared she'll one day have to watch them die too #i want alice to try to crack jokes. to try to lighten the mood a little. #but eventually she gives up and just. holds lena close to her. as close as possible. #and she promises that she'll be here. always. #that others might leave but she'll stay. #a comforting constant. #AUGH IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM #tmagp #the magnus protocol #lena kelley

[feral-and-or-horny]

U ever put an egg in u cooch ? My gf won't do it

W. Why would I?? There are literally toys made for that??

#im real tired amd this ask is just cracking (Ha!) me up everytime ive reread it #also please never refer to my vagina as my cooch #its just. #such a shitty word #no weight behind it like 'cunt' #and it makes you sound like an 8th grade boy #my answer

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics #right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it. #not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context. #just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one????? #the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect?? #the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene???? #what's there to hate??? #and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly? #i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements. #this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate. #and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space. #this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading. #btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this #for a reason that does not exist #as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION. #like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves. #if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings. #jessica's controversial star wars opinions #sabezra #(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol) #it was written in humor not in hurt :)

[constelco556]

Matt: I live for Foggy and Foggy only

Foggy:

Foggy: By now, I think he should be dead-

#lol shitpost #this totally happened #at SOME point #foggy nelson #matt and foggy #matt murdock #mattfoggy #cus they would #we all know #this cracked me up #guys #im so tired #this is a cry for help #PLEASE #^foggy^

[pickleking8]

9 - Adoption Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be - Chapter 9

Words: 1188

Ao3 Link

Previous - Next - Masterpost

Tw: kidnapping, general creepiness, trauma discussion, injury discussion, death discussion

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The shifting sea of their glances oozed over him, covering him in a substance that he could only wish to be rid of, slimy, sticky, and squirming, finding its way into every orifice, every pore, and burrowing deep inside him, making his skin feel all wrong, like it was too tight and too loose and he was too hot and too cold and his organs rolled in his body and his eyes in his sockets and his nerves curled and twisted and writhed, and it was wrong, so wrong, and then Danny was running, his headache worsening and building into a single point of awful focus all while tears gathered in his eyes. He pivoted fast, pounding feet in rhythm with the pounding of his heart, and he heard the shouts behind him, garbled and unintelligible, and in his mind’s eye he saw the grasping hands, reaching from an impenetrable maw and snatching for his ankles and tearing at his clothing and now, blue-gloved and covered in oozing green, dripping slowly with the consistency of honey. Danny slammed into a wall and quickly recovered, pushing off of it, borrowing momentum, and stuttering to a stop as he came face-to-face with a tall man with dark hair, who grabbed his wrists and smiled. 

Others would describe the smile as easy-going. Friendly, calm, inviting. Danny saw the way it stretched too wide, the way it betrayed a sense of triumph upon his capture that was too leering, too predatory; he saw how the man felt fulfilled with the chase in the way his teeth were too sharp and too hungry. Danny saw all of these things, but he was really looking at the eyes. The eyes that scanned and assessed and were all too alert, and the eyes that didn’t crinkle with that mask of a smile, that only showed a coldness and calculation. And Danny was terrified.

The man didn’t let go when Danny threw his weight against his grasp. He didn’t even falter. They stared at each other for a fraction of a second, Danny’s breaths panting and frantic, the man’s slow and calm. And then the smile widened further, until the man’s face split and Danny was left waiting for more cracks in his porcelain-perfect face to appear. Before they could, though, the man dropped his wrists, and before Danny could react, enveloped him in a crushing hug that made Danny’s skin crawl. Danny flinched as the man laughed, a sound that was distorted and much too loud.

He shoved the man off him, hard, and the man let him (and he was sure that the man was letting him). He fell back against the wall, tears finally spilling down his cheeks, stinging as they fell over cuts and scrapes, and settling in the folds of his shirt. The man finally stepped away, finally stopped being so close that he could feel his breath, hot like fire, on his neck. Danny watched, afraid, breathing erratic and hands shaking, and more and more people filled the hallway, coming from all sides, surrounding him, and his already-meager escape routes dwindled until he was stuck, alone, with that sea of predatory eyes boring into him. 

“Jason? Are you okay?”, the man finally spoke, not in static and whispers, not garbled and distorted, as Danny had expected, but normal. Understandable. Not in the voice of the monster that Danny knew lurked. In his opinion, the normalcy of his voice might have been worse. This meant the monster was good at hiding. Danny stared at him. And then, not knowing what else to do, he spoke.

“Who are you? Who’s Jason?”, he said, and it was fast and panicked and the words sounded as though he had to force them out of a throat clogged with years of decay. The people donned various looks of surprise, eyebrows rose near-imperceptibly, breath was sucked in all too fast, the man who hugged him even jolted, and they all had the audacity to act wounded. 

“You… don’t remember us? We’re your family, come on, Jason,” the man spoke, daring again in an insurmountable arrogance to sound hurt, to sound upset. Danny felt his chest tighten, the panic somehow rising, as did his anger. Fueled by his pain and the man’s words, he managed to spit out in a sputtering flame of fury, 

“What the fuck? No, I’m not. No, you’re not. My name’s not fucking Jason, I’m Danny,” his voice softened, and it took on a pleading tone, one that was laced with desperation, “I don’t know who you are. You’re not my family, I know you’re not my family, just, please. Let me go. I won’t tell, I promise I won’t tell, please just let me go,” 

“Your act will not fool us, Todd,” the smallest one spoke up, with a tone of superiority and confidence, “We have examined your injuries, they are the same as Todd’s when he ‘died’, and you bear his exact resemblance. You cannot possibly think that your subpar acting skills will convince us otherwise,”

Danny felt his heart sink as his skin crawled all the more, and his expression betrayed every emotion. The tears picked up again with renewed intensity, running in ruts down his face and creating shining trails paved with despair, as he looked up and met the hundreds of shifting eyes.

“Please. I promise, okay, I promise, I’m not Jason, I don’t know who that is, please. I want to leave, I want to go home, I just- ... please, let me go home,” he whispered, his voice scratching and filled with choked-down sobs. 

A girl in the back suddenly stepped forward, melting easily from the darkness. She was younger than the first man, it seemed, with eyes that were much too black and sucked in the light around her, leaving her a shadow that was too silent, too empty, too seamless. This monster was good at hiding. Danny eyed her warily.

“He is not lying,” she said, and Danny’s heart swelled, “He truly does not remember,” she finished, and Danny felt his chin hit his chest. The people looked close to doing the same, until a short one with spiky hair snapped up suddenly, too suddenly, with a determination in his eyes that made Danny recoil. 

“It’s okay! This is probably a trauma response or something! I mean, his maybe-death was probably pretty traumatic, so he’s probably blocking that or something. He’ll remember. We just have to give him time, and being around us and all his old stuff will probably help,” the boy almost yelled in triumph. 

The others nodded enthusiastically, and as they accepted the idea, each one gained a manic tint to their eyes and their smiles widened to curl behind their ears and they all seemed to flicker green. They turned, slowly, their feet making no sound despite the heavy shoes many of them wore, and once again all of their shifting eyes, their warped smiles, their too-sharp teeth, and their twisted faces, all focused on Danny, and their jumbled speech flowed once more, horrible words that burrowed: 

“It’ll be okay, Jason,”

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Next - Masterpost

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Hey! Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, I wasn't sure if I was entirely happy with how it turned out; I don't think I got the pacing quite right? And I was trying real hard to lean into the unsettling vibe and I think I leaned too hard. Ah well though, it's late, no time to think through decisions about posting. Or editing. It'll be fine, right? Anyway, thank you for reading! Constructive criticism would be appreciated.

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Taglist: @tkiesai

#dpxdc #dcxdp #crossover #jazz fenton #danny phantom #jason todd #batfam #adoption isn't all it's cracked up to be #I'm like #proud of how much I wrote #but there's *something* off #perhaps the pacing #but im too tired to fix it #I should probably wait and post it tomorrow so I can fix it #but nahhhh #it'll be fine #thanks for reading anyway!

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Closing my eyes listening to Leon's last few voicelines before he gets executed and thinking about Shuichi... The idea of Shuichi being in some situation where he says things and sounds like That is just SO heartwrenching to me

#I feel very silly for this post because it just shows my intense v3 bias but hooooly shit #Shuichi's voice is a liiittle bit higher than leon's but #it reminded me of when his voice cracks in trial 1 when he's trying not to cry #it just GETS to me man #shut up me #anyway I just got out of a thh stream and it was so fun but Im So tired now oh man #I could just sleep now but Ive still got an hour in me i think

[nerissalmao]

GUYS

so. more nimona director headcanons!! because don’t you just love yakking about characters you kinda hate and who everybody hates!!!!!

-book director was created by the institute and literally cannot grow body hair. she was made that way on purpose so she’s always extra cold so she’s tougher. the institution’s leader shouldn’t have emotions that sway her choices, but this wasn’t foolproof; she ended up feeling hate for what she grew to think was a monster and contempt for almost everyone else around her. because she isn’t a “weak human”.

-film director is a regular ahh human… sike she has undiagnosed paranoia and is incredibly hyperfixated on the legend of gloreth. she’s completely and totally obsessed with following in gloreth’s footsteps and being like her (also she’s a lesbian but has internalized homophobia and is gay for gloreth i mean uh my hand slipped-)

-film director’s full name and title is *breath in* 𝓘𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓪 𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓯𝓪𝓼𝓽 and her family has been in the position for a great many years, but gasp shudder were originally commoners chosen for the position by gloreth’s first child

-book director doesn’t have a name other than “director” and part of why she resents nimona is because she knows both of them must be “abominations” yet nimona has great powers, a name, and people who care about her. book director was literally created to boss people around. she doesn’t just think nimona is a monster, she’s jealous because she knows nimona is better and more powerful. she should be tbh-

-film director (aka lilith bc cmon that name slaps and she looks like a lilith) actually felt guilt when she killed the queen and when she “killed” ambrosius but told herself it was what gloreth would have wanted. she literally drove herself insane in an attempt to emulate gloreth.

-film director/lilith is on the last shred of her sanity at the end of the film, she’s convinced herself this is the will of gloreth and become a tyrant and the actual monster because of it. she doesn’t even care about the kingdom. she’s about to freaking snap fully, but then the building explodes and she dies before she can go ooga booga-

-she looks like elsa from frozen (look below like actually-)

#the director #im so tired of calling her the director so her name is lilith in my mind now try to stop me #i was serious up until the end lmao #headcanons on crack #once again I thought too hard about this #excuse me while I obsess over the worst person ever #THE DIRECTOR IS ELSA CONFIRMED?? #nimona #nimona headcanon #stupid nimona jokes #is it a joke tho?? #all the hashtags. EVER.

[rose-tinted-vision]

Okay I've finished The Blood of youth and in my opinion:

- the drama ended in the best way possible (we are ignoring episode 25/26) for our main character but its funnier when you think about how Xiao Lingchen told the late Emperor to pass on the throne to his least favourite son.

- before they revealed that he had written two edicts I was seriously wondering like "...do you really not like Xiao Chong that much old man???"

- but I'm glad he wrote two. man really said "go fight it out between yourselves"

- in all seriousness though, I think he did that because he trusts these two princes to be mature enough to not repeat his mistake. Also because both Xiao Se and Xiao Chong have proven that they are mature enough to lead Tianqi, no matter who ends up on the throne.

- and his trust was not misplaced! Xiao Chong didn't immediately announce the edict in his hands because 1. Xiao Se isn't even in the palace, 2. I'd like to think that he knows that Xiao Se has no intention of being Emperor, and would much rather roam the jianghu instead and 3. he wants to let Xiao Se announce it himself, whether he accepts or rejects the edict, instead of making that decision for him.

- I loved that Xiao Se was still himself at the end of the show, that he did not forget those who helped him along the way and did not lose himself in the (one-sided) bloodbath that Xiao Yu started.

- The only issue I have with the ending was that Zang Ming wasn't there when the edict was read out??? Dude did not sacrifice his eyes to be left out like that...

^ the contrast to the start!!

#also I was shook when Xiao Se actually bowed to him?? #and the ending with Xiao Chong using a sword deity as a messenger had me cracking up #but it shows how much the wrathful sword deity dotes on his disciple and i love it #the blood of youth #xiao se #xiao chong #少年歌行 #sorry if its incoherent im very tired rn

[mute-call]

it’s not even a joke anymore. g.genuine hc that steve learned about trans rights from the freddys characters

#I’m sorry I’m half asleep & im thinking about him introducing himself w his pronouns like #’i learned to do this from the mangle!!!! 😄👍👍👍’ #maybe I’m just tired but this is cracking me the fuck up #my favorite little ally 💞 /lh #;ooc

[baeshijima]

guess who snooped through her drafts and found this wip again

and is now abt to work on it, disregarding all the other wips currently sending death stares from their respective corners as well as the essay due for monday :D

#sophie talks : i accidentally stole the heroine's role and now the male leads won't leave me alone! #sophie talks : iasthrantmlwlma #god the name never makes me not crack up #all the way back from 2022…. cries #its also at 8.5k words... and not finished..... and might be going through a revamp bc of new chara interests i have... #cough neuvillette and mayhaps wriothesley.... #anywhoodles its nearly 1 am but i had a 3 hour nap earlier and now that this was shot through my brain chemicals again im going to stare #at my doc until i see it finished #or until i get tired and sleep and then cry and bemoan abt how i didnt write anything the next morning ;w;

[quaranmine]

my biggest pet peeve is how many people in my life (knowing i know things about Plants and Science) ask me if things are weeds are not. stop asking me if that's a weed! weeds do not exist! there are no weeds! it's only a weed if you don't want it there! are you trying to make a pristine flower bed or growing crops? okay, then that might be a weed if you don't want it to be growing there. is it just growing in a random place? is it just growing in a field? then leave it alone, it's just a little guy! it might even be a beneficial little guy, you just don't like how it looks! now in some circumstance it might be a (harmful) invasive plant we should be eradicating, but most of the time i get asked this it is literally just some innocuous plant or flower

i'm for real gonna cry if one more person points to a native wildflower and asks me if that is a weed or not

#i know they just dont know but it's driving me a little mad helpppp #it happens a lot to me because i have a tendency to point out wildflowers and plants that i know how to identify #so i have a lot of people in my life who are like 'oh alyssa can help me with this plant question. is this a weed or not?' #but bestie i'm gonna snap if yall keep pointing to random innocent plants and asking this #it's only a weed if you want it out of your garden. or for it to not cause cracks in a sidewalk or smth i dont know #also i put harmful in parenthesis because dandelions are not native to north america but they're not really harming the ecosystem #my friend asked me this on saturday we were taking photos in the bluebonnets #and there was some other plant in the way of the photo and my friend was like is this a weed? can i pull it? #and im like. we are in a field. that is a native wildflower the same way the bluebonnet is #it's no more of a weed than the flowers we are taking pictures in right now? it just doesnt look as pretty. i just held it aside for the pi #anyway. like i said. pet peeve. this doesnt matter much i am just tired of getting asked it #because i find so many people want an excuse to pull up any plant that they dont like #but we need a lot of these 'weeds' for the ecosystem....if it isnt harming u then just leave it alone....

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

workin on lucky jumbo rn and ik in the grand scheme of the series it's a pretty serious fic but do y'all ever think about how funny the end of vision of violence is for mumbo. like. pov uve had a Moment™ and ur well meaning but unfortunately cursed boyfriend attempts to bring u tea only to drug u instead

#the cryptid speaks #lucky jumbo <3 #listen ik im the author and also im kinda really tired rn but this is funny right. or am i cracking up out of sleep deprivation #ESPEC when it is NOT a drug that should exist in hc #he wakes up like damn got tricked with an old weakness except luke still doesnt even know what 'a weakness' is in hc context #of all the lj fics so far it's like the least funny espec for mumbo BUT. that last minute there-