#im thinking so hard its unreal

[feyinvestigations]

Ib remake spoilers!!!

Okay so I only got like an hour into the ib remake (I was playing between classes) but like. I think we finally got an answer as to why Garry went to the gallery. Like for years everyone has been thinking that maybe they were an artist or related to Guertena but im pretty sure the reason why is because they fucking love fish.

#i love her so much #garry my beloved #IM LITERALLY CERTAIN OF THIS #there are so many refrences to him liking fishes or underwater animals like #garry wanting to keep the fish lamp.... garry reading a book abt ancient fish.... the fact that the ad for the gallery was a fish painting #im thinking so hard its unreal #ib spoilers #ib remake spoilers #ib rpg spoilers #ib garry #ib #ib remake #blorbo from my art gallery #my blorbo who canonically likes to 'to cross the barriers of gender'

[decarath-s]

Listen ofc all of the Unreal Unearth songs are amazing because it's Hozier we're talking about but holy fuck-

Personally the song in this album that smacked me across the face at first was Abstract (Psychopomp), and I can't believe more people are not going feral over it like I am, look-

H U H

I saw you perform this ultimately fruitless yet incredibly significant, humane and selfless act of kindness. You put your own life at risk for something others would have considered "too small". I saw you run into moving traffic, stain your own hands, just to offer a little comfort to this poor animal in its dying moments. I was terrified, I knew I had no choice but to love you.

#i think the whole idea of the push and pull of life and death is very present through the album but the 'i will fight to get to live this #one life' hits me so so hard #the idea of springing into movement for something so much smaller than you but with so much value #the idea of both the savior's and the animal's eyes shining with anguished tears #its insane #also look into the phsychopomp mythological context it's interesting #hozier #andrew hozier byrne #unreal unearth #text #that unstoppable surge of emotions to give all life the value it deserves #PLEASE add your thoughts kn the tags or comment's I'd love to hear them #ALSO!! i Believe that lyrically this song is simpler than his usual work and that shows a new kind of genious #im wordless again

[mbat]

i know its not for everyone for whatever reasons apply but damn do i love unreality. in horror, in sillyness, in pretty much any context. i actually love the moments i sit there asking 'is this real? what is happening?' and then realizing its not and being in on the fun

whether it be like that one blog that pretends pokemon are real, or horror projects like welcome home where the whole premise is that its based on a children franchise that never existed but it does exist for this projects reality, or the youtube video i just watched that pretended to talk about creepypasta history but it was only talking about creepypastas that were never actually real... genuinely so fucking fun to me. i love it. i need more of it fr fr

#i hope im using the word right #my impression is that it means like. 'this thing pretends to be in our world but it talks about things that never happened as if they did' ? #if that makes sense #my post #GOSH that creepypasta video went so hard it was so fun #i wont say which one it was because i dont want people to see it and not be in on the fun lol but like. wow #it genuinely had me thinking i somehow missed out on several creepypastas when i shouldnt have lol #i especially love it when its horror or when its memes #i dont even know what to say! its just super fun to me !!! i love it :] #unreality #nothing in this post is unreality but im tagging it just in case /gen

[layalu]

WIP Thursday

got tagged by @greypetrel, @shivunin, and @daggerbeanart over the last couple weeks (thank you guys sm, even if i didn't post anything hjkfsdjdf) <33 Haven't gotten around to drawing much lately, but here's some WIP shots of the current prototyping progress, to hopefully motivate myself to work on it more x'D

I didn't make any of the models; my "main" job is doing textures but i've also been doing most of the engine work that isn't related to gameplay or game logic or Actual Programming, i.e. building the level and all that stuff. Honestly a lot of the work is just learning and trying things, cus this is my first time working with Unreal properly :') Textures are supposed to be stylised but i don't have the time to do proper hand painting, so i've been messing with filters in Substance to try n get something decent lol. Helps that most of the level will have dim lighting which makes everything look less blurry and more coherent xdd

tagging anyone who hasn't been tagged yet and has something to show off! :]

#prototyping in this case basically means that we get together with the programming class and have to build a game prototype in 3 weeks #(tho it's more like 2 1/2 weeks at best lol) #for this one we had to take an existing game and base ours off of that one; my group's is blood and bacon :] #wip wednesday #unreal has amazing capabilities in regards to lighting but i find it so so hard to make anything look like how i want #cus there is so many tools and options and knowing how to combine them to get a specific effect is really just a matter of experience #also doesnt help that one person in the group not only does very little but constantly drags the rest of us down as well #so instead of having one person less in the group its effectively like having 1.5 people less e-e #hate when people refuse to do any thinking or brain work (or just work in general) by themselves #but n e ways im just ranting now lol

[frecklystars]

god im so excited for the Barbie movie today. I might be a bit tense while seeing my triggers on screen but honestly I’ve been doing so so so well handling my ptsd the last few weeks and I'm very proud of myself!!!!!

there’s a few triggers I’ve been actively working on reclaiming and I KNOW I’m going to be okay watching the movie bc I am not letting anybody take this from me. I know I’m gonna wanna see it more than once. I even bought myself a cute pink skirt for it ;w;

#I’m gonna wear pink glitter in my hair too for opening night #woof #like i know im gonna be rly tense but i have been doing SO much better than i was just a month ago #if anything ill just be incredibly tense at first. but i genuinely think ill relax more as the movie progresses #bc ive been using grounding techniques for months and ive been working so goddamn hard to reclaim pink #WHICH IS SUCH HUGE PROGRESS FOR ME to think back to january when i couldnt look at pink at ALL #and i think seeing pink literally every single second for 2 hours straight in the barbie movie #is gonna also help my brain be like 'oh hey everything is fine' help it to become desensitized #bc ive been doing exposure therapy and im doing so much better than i was even just one month ago!!!!!!! #barbie is my girlfriend. and ken is my boyfriend. and i have two hands they can hold #god!!! you know how many barbies im gonna kiss!!!!! SO MANY #this is MY movie i have been so fucking excited to see!! its my number one favorite thing ive been looking forward to!!!! #i have wanted to see this! so! fucking! badly! and fuck anybody who tried to ruin that for me #i dont want ptsd to control my life #i feel like im riding a bull and gripping it by the horns while its trying to kick me off while im yelling Not Today Bitch #thats what trying to reclaim triggers feels like #but i can fucking feel it working i can feel myself getting better with some of these triggers i cant believe it #and i think just a year from now most of these triggers wont be severe anymore #which is my goal. i dont even need them to be cured completely i just want to function normally #cannot tell u how fucking unreal it is to have so many triggers that are like. normal everyday stuff #colors. clothes. phrases. transformers. im taking ALL of that shit back #STARTING WITH PINK ONE OF MY FAVORITE GODDAMN COLORS 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 #THE EMOJI LOOKS RED ON DESKTOP BUT THAT IS OKAY.

[wr0ngwarp]

fan design for johnny truant house of leaves. yea.

normally johnny's the kind of character i'd prefer to leave designless, but its difficult to do silly joke stuff with a character that doesn't look like anything lmao. my sort of compromise between the two is limiting his palette to the book colors

#house of leaves #johnny truant #mark z danielewski #the internal battle between ''i think it adds to the unreality of the novel to keep johnny ''faceless'''' #and ''i can't put a guy who doesnt look like anything in tomodachi life.'' #also some notes on teh design: #im a sucker for the parallels between johnny and the ~~minotaur~~ (or the idea that they are one and the same) #hence red eyes. however also red eyes are just fucking cool #thats actualy also why i gave him a nose ring bc minotaur -> bull -> nose ring lol #also i just find it hard to imagine a guy who works as a tattoo assistant having No piercings #side note idk if i'd actually think of him as having black hair but limited palette yaknow #also i have. NO idea how to draw burn scars Least Of All how johnny's burn scars are described #but. purple bc pelafina #aside from that i just kind of winged it with the design so its not very complex LOL. i just like talking #realizing while typing this btw that johnny as a tumblrina would have absolutley insane tag rambling skills #ok thats all i'll stop talking now.

[fabulouslygaybean]

turns out that eating breakfast after taking the meds you should eat with food is a good idea

#i feel a lot better than i did yesterday #the weird jittery bit of the meds eased up quite a lot #im still not used to it but i think it's gonna help me a lot #i wasn't aware that this kind of. like... clarity? was normal?? #i can actually focus on things now. i can sit totally still if i want to. my brain isn't impossibly loud. #idk!! i never thought id be able to get help for this and it's unreal that a tiny fucking pill just... makes my brain function better #we'll see how the next few weeks play out bc it might not be great for me over time and i might need to try out other meds #but idk. ritalin seems to be working decently well and im happy #wait holy fuck i just realized i might be able to actually clean my room now #i haven't been able to fully clean my room in YEARS #ive been able to clean sections of it or like. halfway tidy up most of it #but a full deep clean has been out of the picture for so long bc i can never focus hard enough or get enough motivation to continue #i might actually be able to now. fuck. this changes so much. #i know that probably doesn't seem like much but my room has gotten so out of hand and it causes me stress #i can't even let people INTO my room because its embarrassing and makes me feel horrible #maybe i can actually invite people over now

[wildshadowtamer]

Wow i cant believe hit video fames series Five Nights At Freddy's stopped with its final, conclusive sixth game! Where every point was resolved and the timeline makes at least some sense! Theres definitely nothing after it.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #look this aint my neighbourhood but if i have to hear about one more goddamn freddy im going to flip #im trying so hard to keep track bc my friend likes fnaf but its so difficult theres like 50 of them #tw unreality #i think #the timeline up until the sixth game does make sense to me #after that? no clue considering all of them got fucking burnt wasnt that the pOINT-

[motts-fruit-punch]

ive thought unnecessarily hard about their character

flat colors

#kaboodlesmp #riiceandbeanss #omg she draws #my brain has faeified her and caite so much it is UNREAL #we dont know much about them but ive watched both of their lore streams and man #i like their dynamic #ive been thinking too hard about in world cultures too and its ruining me #because theres a very real possibility its all gonna be debunked so im just letting it rattle in my head #this is why you dont listen to music while designing characters

[alternia-confessions]

aIGHT, mIGHT AZ WELL CONFEZZ, i (m, pURPLE) jUZT WENT FUCKIN HAM ON A KID (nB, bRONZE) bECAUZE I JUZT REMEMBERED A DOOMED TIMELINE WHERE HE FUCKIN AZZAULTED MY OWN KID (m, cHERUB BUT BAZICALLY PURPLE) bECAUZE MY KID GETZ FUCKIN BITCHEZ. zHOULDNA KILLED HIZ DREAMZELF BUT I DONT FEEL ALL TOO BAD

•

Question: Aight, Might as well confess, i (M, Purple) Just went fucking ham on a kid (Nb, Bronze) Because i just remembered a doomed timeline where he fucking assaulted my own kid (M, Cherub but basically purple) Because my kid gets fucking bitches. Shouldna killed his dreamself but i dont feel all too bad

#Anon yoUr life soUnds wild #so if im UnderstAndin this correctly...... yoU foUght A child becAUse yoU hAd the thoUght thAt they hUrt yoUr kid in A sepArate reAlity?? #im so lost #like kUdos for stickin Up for the kid bUt also yoU pUnished them for somethin they didnt do And probably hAve no memory of?? #i meAn i gUess in the moment its hArd to think shit throUgh bUt mAn this is jUSt.. too complicAted for me i think #unreality #ask to tag #jUst in cAse lol

[ankhisms]

i dont want to be brave about it all any more i want to scream and cry but i must continue on somehow

#i am not beating the delusional allegations of being a character in a badly written story where the author whos writing me #is just being super heavy handed with their symbolism and metaphors and keeps having bad things happen or has me fuck up #in a way thats like hey wink wink nudge nudge dont forget about the metaphor and themes with reys character and its like great thanks you #suck at this. why do you love making things go wrong for me. its almost comical at this point. #i keep thinking that i kind of wish i could just turn off all my feelings because i feel things so much but on the other hand #there have been plenty of times when ive been hollow and havent felt anything or havent been the person in control and have been #unreal and not in my body. but its like god this sucks why am i so bad at everything. why cant i get anything right. why am i #never good enough both at things i try really hard to do and also just never good enough existing in general. there will always #be something inherently weird and inherently strange and offputting about me. anyway im stopping now before i spiral more #i just need to sleep and bottle it up and just make it thru

[pepprs]

i guess im starting a tradition of double ventposting lol but the last thing i’llsay (maybe) is like… all of that has a caveat which is that my emotional object permanence has been absolutely OBLITERATED by 3 yrs of covid hell and it is really doing a number on me. clearly

#purrs #this manifests in how not normal i am abt reading / responding to messages btw ♥️ i love depriving myself of evidence that i am loved #also somewhat ​relatedly (and i may have already said this but): covid also destroyed something that has always already been hard for me whi #which (ironically given how important it is to the work I do) foresight. i was not su*cidal growing up but i simply couldn’t imagine what li #life would be like after high school. it felt like the show was supposed to be over on graduation day. and everything that’s happened since #then has seemed a little fake to me… and then covid happened and it felt even more fake… and now i graduated college and WORK THERE full #time. and it’s like.. at any given moment i am about 30-40% convinced that the things that are happening to me aren’t actually real or that #they’re not supposed to be happening bc the show ended on may 30 2017. and i don’t think that’s a healthy way to experience the world lol #unreality tw #ask to tag #like ofc my day to day life is real and the week to week stuff is real. but there’s some twilight zone-ness to it. like its happening to #someone else who looks exactly like me butim in her body and not mine and not controlling anything. idk. that’s not the right metaphor its h #hard to explain and im so sleepy. but the best way i can describe it which i keep doing is like a tv show that should be over by now but is #dragging on fro some reason. like we never finished watching it but it’s like the office continuing after michael Scott left. it’s just #weird and wrong and fake and doesn’t feel real. and the fact that it actually is real but i feel that way is a very big problem

[transgaysex]

im watching a playthru of apollo justice while i draw and man. this game is so good

#wind howls #the music? spectacular. the characters ? delightful. #the first case alone is by far the best in like. the entire series. its so fucking good it drives me nuts #and my favourite transgender king apollo :) i love that guy so much its unreal hes everything to me #im on the second case now so klavier is there :) and i love that guy so much too i get so sad and screaming when i think abt him #but i also think about him and i go :) hes so awesome hes so cool. im wishing death upon most of his previous entourage :) #game is good. aa4 is so goooooood.... #when i say the first case is the best i mean like its the best first case of all the games first case #i dont know what my most favourite case in aa is... #turnabout reunion is up there for sure bc that one is really good #but like all the cases in aa4 are also like tremendously good so its hard to choose a favourite LOL

[mrfoox]

Not to be deppressing again but it still hits me like a brick that I'm still alive sometimes

Idk how to mentally catch up with that reality after so many years of sucidal thoughts and tendencies

#Negative #miranda talking shit #Im in my mid 20s.... Genuinely thought id be dead before i turned 20 but im still here #Its shocking like... Yea cool im still here i guess but like all the things i havent done bc i didnt think id still be here #They have been pilling up and now im like haha... What now.... #2016 was one of my worst years ever i tried to kms and intense self harm plus starving myself #And then i... Got out of that? Like i still dont.... Understand it like i know its a fact but its so unreal #My friends definitely saved me. I found a bigger group of online friends in 2017 and they saved me. If i was without them id probably not #Be here. And they dont know that like they think we are just silly friends and its like ... You guys literally kept me alive and going and #I cant ever fully repay that or explain that. Friendships are so important. I felt so alone at the time #I had lost contact with the three few close contacts i had with people and it was so hard #And then by chance i got thrown into a group of great people who i most still talk to today... #I know it was hard for them and me in the beginning bc i was so damaged and in bad shape but despite me like #Starting to cry in the middle of calls and went silent as we talked bc of it they never... Got tired of me or annoyed #I can remember like two times i got an annoyed remark about it but it was two who didnt know i was crying when i muted myself #Otherwise it was always like... Concern and patience... Like are you okay? Did we do something ? Do you need a break? #And mind you this was in a group of 4+ guys. I have bad experiences with guys/men but they all were patient with me and didnt grow tired #With me and its ... I dont think i can express it to any of them bc i wasnt super opem at the time with my problems #So it would be like dropping a bomb at them... But like genuinely... Having a group of friends to just play and talk with an have fun #It was so important to me and they have all helped me to grow as a person too. I mean im still sensetive af but being around them has #Helped me not take things as personal and get a thicker skin. And overall just trusting people but men especially... #The fact i met them all by chance and bc of overwatch... Like say what you want about the game but for me it'll be a fond memories #Bc of how that got me in contact with such amazing people at such a bad time in my life. Downright my woorst period

[archipelagolago]

good things but personal so hiding in the tags

#its been a year now and WHEN will the honey moon phase be over im going ridiculous fr fr #our anniversary is literally on new years which is so fucking picturesque or whatever the word is i hate it (lying) #i got us matching bracelets and she lost hers that same day im literally so in love with her #and she told her siblings about us and her sister was just like. yeah obviously 🤨 #and then later her brother when her parents waiting in the restaurant for a table and me & her & him were in the car and he said yeah. #i figured 🙄 and then he came out to us and i love him. i love her family so much i feel unreal #and her parents literally dont know were dating. like genuinely. i dont know what they think but it works. they said next time they all go #home to the philippines they want me to come. i dont understand why they like me so much & im so scared of the day theyll find out im #dating their daughter and start hating me. but rn i feel so happy so its ok #and her mom said shes thinking of taling spamish classes at my community college and i should take them with her. even though i speak #spanish from home but i can help her #her family is just so kind to me and it makes me feel soooo i dont even know. everything #i just never thought i would be this happy its so impossible for me to understand or accept it #and everything with us is never perfect but its so much love and i feel so lucky its scaring me #i feel like im dreaming im so scared to wake up and lose it all #and its all been so hard and is going to be even harder but its worth it. more than anything and thats even more terrifying than #all the bullshit #but its good its good its good #louie type

[0rchidm4ntis]

i want to skip classes tomorrow bc i need to go get groceries but also i skipped the entirety of last week mhhhh

#mica rambles #this isnt very academically gifted perfect serious eldest daughter of me my bad guys #currently so so tired its unreal ughhhhh but i also missed classes today and yesterday #and finals are in two weeks #and i know for a fact they will kick my ass #worst part is im actually doing great in my major!! like i have such good grades!! #and you might wonder mica how is that a bad thing you idiot?? #well bc since im doing well my parents assume im sooo happy with my major and im working soo hard #and now i have the worst imposter syndrome ever bc i feel like im lying to them lol #i just want a year long break. maybe find a job and make some money in the meantime #maybe travel a little!! i know ive been wanting to visit scotland for a while and its not that expensive #i dont really know #vent #i think?