#im still too upset

[courfee]

“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft. 

— Tender Curiosities, Baby!  @otrtbs

#ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence #like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller #but alas cars wont allow it #ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it #i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta... #tender curiosities baby #art heist baby #james potter fanart #james potter #jegulus #rosekiller #rosekiller fanart #marauders #marauders fanart #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #jegulus fanart #jegulus fanfiction #fic: ahb #art heist baby! #mine #my art #hp #ahb #(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them) #(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...) #(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset) #((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops) #(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad)) #((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you? #gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway............. #somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing...... #this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now.... #juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

[fawfulydoo]

things i did over the past week

#i almost didnt wanna post the second one bc i dont like redundancy on my page but im too proud of it to keep it hidden #still thinking about maramlized candyman #fawfulanimates #also rare angry henry #hes so joyful all the time its unsettling to see him that upset #2d animation #lethal league blaze #lethal league candyman #lethal league #henry #the smiler #the smiler alton towers #marmalized candyman #< new tag

[iamlivinginsideyourwalls]

Posts Kai Ninjago and scurries away back into the shadows (also posted on @explodesanddieseverywhere )

Alternative backgrounds under the cut

#I posted this on my alt as well #So dont get upset if you see this on someone elses blog too #Kai bbg i havent drawn you in so long im sorry #hopefully some of you remember me lol #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago fanart #ninjago kai #kai ninjago #kai smith #kai jiang #do we still use those tags for his name #idk its been a while #anyways im gonna be posting here again #missed it

[melanodis]

assorted willry from a long time ago that I'll probably never finish (the second being lost media because I accidentally saved over it :((()

#i LOVED that fnaf 3 willry too :((( #like im still so upset i fucked it up #art.psd #willry #springtrap #henry emily #william afton #suggestive

[mishapen-dear]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

#qsmp neg #qsmp crit #discourse #<- for blacklists #im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight #and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense #its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses #so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter #but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy #and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one #and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over #and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear #and it starts getting messy #but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition #and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it #but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun' #then i think there are ways to build better win conditions #anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes #jk im too busy to apply #but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it

[smokestarrules]

i do love that there's someone in the tags of The Poll now talking about how the characters in g-witch are underdeveloped when they're on episode *checks notes*... three. because all great shows finish up their characters' arcs in episode two, obviously.

#there are also complaints of a het romance? and idk I think they must be tal #*talking abt elan & suletta yeah? in ep3? but like #there's so much wrong w that sentence too skdjdksks #idk maybe it's just bc I still don't read that plotline as romantic #but I know other characters joke about it being so it's a fair reading #but. then there's the issue of: you /know/ this is a show abt a queer relationship. involving That character #and you're upset abt the bait n switch?? #in EPISODE THREE. AGAIN. #anyway anyway anyway im sorry #im not gonna rb and i hope that person's tags just disappear into the mess of The Vortex #but thankyou for coming to my tedtalk #sulemio #smokey speaks #sule versus them

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away. #meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse'' #at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?'' #doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose. #everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭 #but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story? #is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter? #someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

[rojekte]

seeing people's takes about the whole watcher situation is just a bit.... mind-boggling.

i think the apology they posted was good in the sense that they admitted to fucking up and walked back on their decision, and i think the model they've settled on now is a lot more reasonable (having content be released earlier for those who choose to subscribe), but like.... that doesn't mean that no one should've ever been mad at them in the first place???

like seriously, why does it seem like people are looking at a "good" apology and thinking "huh! they sure did apologize well! i guess that means that it was ridiculous for people to be mad in the first place! no one should have ever complained!!". if no one complained, they wouldnt have walked back their decision! they would've kept going with their dumb completely paywalled option!

and thats not even getting into the fact that their financial woes seem to come from completely mismanaging their money - hiring people when they can not afford to and spending more money on "high quality productions" when they cant afford to.... these are core issues that im not sure will be completely fixed by this? but idk.

also, this situation i think has really helped my own self come to terms with the fact that i do not enjoy many aspects of their content. i sorta already knew that considering i can not remember the last ghost files video i watched because i find that shit incredibly boring and overproduced, and even things like too many spirits have become a chore to watch bc they decided to extend the Not That Funny drink making portion when i just wanna hear some funny spooky stories.

anyway i guess my ultimate point here is: im glad they acknowledged they fucked up, but i also am not sure how interested i am in their content anymore in the first place. oh well

#watcher #i still personally dont know if i would call them 'greedy' for their original choice #for the record: i dont think the three of them are struggling at all lmao #they clearly are living pretty well off #but i do think that watcher as a company really has been struggling bc of their awful business decisions #so i DO think they needed to change SOMETHING #its just.... yknow maybe next time just fucking ask ur audience about the routes ur considering taking #rather than just surprising everyone with a 'whoops! its all paywalled now!!' #im really not sure how to articulate my feelings bc i just constantly feel confused at the way i see others act online #like seeing people yell at others for being 'too parasocial' in the sense of people feeling betrayed and upset by their choices #when those same people are being incredibly parasocial themselves by defending these three like their lives depend on it #these are not starving artists. they are the owners of a business. a ceo. i think its fair for ppl to critique them in that sense #and to point out things like hiring more staff than they can afford #and spending more money on production than is arguably necessary #even if it is part of their 'artistic vision'

[halfusek]

oopsie

so the stream was a flop (ill need to solve that problem in the future but that was very weird cuz these settings worked with batdr before and i doubt batdr was easier to stream performance wise) but yall didnt miss out on anything cuz uh

basically in 15 minutes i was done with the part of the. "game". that was. actually kind of looking like one. you know i didn't expect any polish to this, it was free and all. that was the part with gaskette, it was. fine. i did not find it interesting but at least it wasnt what the rest of the game was

but you know what, i get it. finally i get it

they, or maybe just mike, but its released under their company so i will say they,

they hate theorists

they hate dataminers

alright, point taken, i guess

just push away the fans who were the most interested in playing your games, cuz that's smart

it's sad really but oh well have it your way

#i dont know how many 'i cant get out of this hyperfixation no matter what' i have in me #believe me i tried to fixate on something else #idk #that game was just a really upsetting experience honestly and i think that was the point #i could form my thoughts more clearly and critically but why should i do that #ough #its so jover man #tbh #i dont think im gonna check out their next games if thats the attitude theyre showing #maybe i should have stopped engaging with them already but yknow i was hoping itd get better #and i still really do enjoy interacting with other bendy fans #but its just too much man #halfpost #bendy spoilers #whatever

[deservedgrace]

Xtianity putting so much weight in self sacrifice means you can't complain when putting your all into the church god causes you harm, because "Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice and we're called to sacrifice things joyfully and graciously and complaining and being ungrateful is a sin"

#i still get upset that people would rather me dead and xtian #than alive and non xtian #it's. wild #what people believe. what xtianity makes people believe #ex christian #religious trauma #the thing is too like... for me at least this was more of a culture thing than a said out loud thing #and that kinda stuff is insidious bc people will deny that it's real bc it's so ingrained in the culture #that they can't actually see it or it's so normalized that they can't see anything wrong with it #idk im angry about xtianity tonight what's new

[jasperthehatchet]

I dont usually write posts about critical role but this episode did things to me and I have to talk about it right now right now right now don't mind me just yelling into the ether for a minute

the last half hour of ep77 just made me love Ashton (really everyone) so much more. They're being an INCONSIDERATE DICKSHIT and a HYPOCRITE with a MARTYR COMPLEX who makes HORRIBLE DECISIONS yesss gimme the complicated relationship dynamics and the morally gray moments AND THE ANGST. There's gonna be some good ass roleplay moments from this I feel it in my bones and it's gonna be DELICIOUS. Hey ashton greymoore my beloved shithead what is wrong with you <3

And it was such a sweet thing to look at Ashley Johnson/fearne and say "I see you don't want the shard and I want you to keep your characters agency I will take it" but then they were a fuckhead about it!!! Literally did a nice thing in the most fucked up way possible that it circled around to being terrible. I love that!!! Say what you will about this episode but by god is it entertaining. I ship callowmoore even more now that they have shit to work through. I love complicated relationships in fiction I am living!!!!

(i genuinely didn't like the very real tension at the table and had to skip it on Thursday night but! Im excited anyways!!! I'm having the time of my life)

Anyway <3 i love this show thanks for reading

#writing this partly because i knew immediately after watching there would be disk horse. i dont know about yall but im having a blast #like i totally understand that so many people are very attached to these characters and we want the best for them #i feel that way too. but im also seeing posts from people genuinely so mad at not only ashton but taliesin jaffe as well?? #I understand if youre upset about what they did but!!! so much Good Shit is gonna come out of this #good roleplay moments and angst and weird mechanics and its gonna impact the plot on the moon and angst and changes in character dynamics #and angst. #critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critrole spoilers #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #callowmoore #cr3 ep77 #ep77 #i will admit that if ashton had died i would've definitely been so upset and mad i wont lie. like im not gonna pretend i wouldve accepted it #but still. i respect everyone at the table too much to genuinely be upset with any of them for their character decisions #y'know

[perenians]

kicks at a rock sulkily. why is this man so hard to draw

#this is attempt 2. attempt 1 is not fit for consumption #im still having art block so. not too upset abt this #whyyyyyyyis drawing so hard rn #'whys his nose crooked' because i punched him #anders #anders art #dragon age #peren procreates #calm down per

[faunandfloraas]

well the day started pretty fun, like sure the outfits were boring and the styling was lackluster but it was fun- i was excited for them. Now however hearing how the press was speaking to them I'm officially just pissed and disappointed.

#the thing outside of the fact that its just xenophobic and racist to say what was said #and to presume the boys not capable of speaking english #like even if they didnt the media should still be respectful and kind- not saying nasty stuff thinking it wouldnt be understood #you should treat everyone with decency and respect and they did not get that and that fundamentally upsets me #even if its not a shock its still disappointing #chan was so excited on bbl too and i know he heard at least one of those comments so Im sad for him

[gunsatthaphan]

also if Boeing is actually the ex that Top and Sand shared then is that jojo's way of attempting to heal all of our broken GramYok hearts or,,,,??

#only friends #only friends series #only friends the series #only friends ep9 #ofts #gmmtv #LISTEN IM STILL UPSET #its been 2 years #but IM STILL NOT OKAY #if this is actually happening then yeah #Im heartbroken its not mix but im okay with this too lol

[smokbeast]

poe thoughts and scribbles for my aching soul

#He’s a really old oc #based off my plush rabbit when I was 10 so my first oc ever next to Craig and hope who were made at the same time. #i used to draw him as any thing I was obsessed with as a kid like digimon or Pokémon and still call him poe #cause I was also obsessed with Calvin and Hobbes and I would imagine him like Hobbes for fun and bring him everywhere and make comics of #poe hanging out with me as a scary cool monster who secretly turned into a plush rabbit like Barney the dinosaur #and that’s like his origin story LMAo I didn’t do imaginary friends or anything like that #I’d just grab a plush toy or poe and pretend I was in an adventure with them. But poe was my personal comfort one causw my abuela got him #for me and he would be gripped allot when I was sad or upset so he was my coping toy #another would be a big red dragon I have since I was five too. And I would be silly and be like that’s poes girlfriend and she is PFGN #and now with my eclipse toy hehe :) but yeah poe origin lore from my backyardigan kid times #GOD THAT SHOW ALSO MADE ALLOT OF INFLUENCE TOO LOL DOKFJF I was a massive daydreamer lol #but now poe has his own insane story now it was silly when I was a kid but it’s cool now I swear I prommy im not cringe (disclaimer I am PF #anyway that’s crazy #art #my art #my ocs #poe #monster #monster oc #furry #kinda #creature #wife ocs #harbinger #hope #Craig #hes their dad dadadada #Tired dream guardian monster raising to literal eldritch entity children in a summary pretty much