#im so passionate about this no one in fucking fiction ever of any media of all time does wings correctly and it makes me explode and die

[spearxwind]

for the dragon gifs post you reblogged, could you elaborate on your tags? as someone who loves speculative/fictional biology, id be interested in hearing how actual gliding wings would work for dragons, if youre okay with talking about it of course :]

Gosh, basically.... the whole wing shape is wrong for gliding

Firstly, a majority of the dragons' wings do not have any base to them. base being the membrane that should go down their side

By far the worst offender seems to be arrax here, but like. all of the dragons have NO membrane going from their arms down their sides, the only one who appears to have more normal wings is syrax

It's got more base to the wings so this gif looks slightly more natural to me but not by much

NOW,, my disclaimer. I am not an expert in aerodynamics. So I am just going off what I know personally

First off, the wing shape in most of these dragons is elliptical (like in sparrows) which is good for powered flight (flapping), and when they ARE flapping, it does look very good!! Very powerful strokes etc.

However, because they are missing that base at the wing, a lot of the energy of the downstroke would simply just escape. Wings in general work by "trapping" wind underneath them, by making the air on top roll by at a different speed than the air underneath and generate lift that way, but if there's nothing TO lift... then it won't work

Animals who actually glide all have very specialized wings for it.

Eagles, vultures, condors, etc: all of them have IMMENSE wings, and they almost cannot do powered flight (at least not on the same level that sparrows can), they rely a lot on updrafts

Their wings are all very wide, but very rectangular!! the base of their wings is basically the same width as the rest of the wing, generally

This is true as well for SEABIRDS which are all gliding experts. Seabirds have VERY not wide wings, but they make up for that in length, and this very specialized shape they have allows them to glide for literal WEEKS without needing to land

Basically, I suppose it's something of a tradeoff? Even in these birds the base is incredibly proportionate to the shape of their wings and body, and they depend on wind currents over the ocean specifically. They've evolved for that

alithographica has this VERY GOOD little chart of what different functions wings can perform depending on their shape

I personally think the got dragon's wings are incredibly disproportionate, looking at wings on any other animal it immediately stands out that a whole chunk of wing is simply... gone. For no good reason other than aesthetic I think

And besides the anatomical error, they don't have a clear purpose to their shape, they kinda do everything all the time and its jarring to see on otherwise incredibly designed creatures and its also an immense shame. It would have been so cool to see different dragons have different flying techniques (the only different one we get is caraxes with his wing legs, but from what ive seen)

#ask #anon #wings #long post #answering this asap because im fucking foaming at the mouth over wings #im so passionate about this no one in fucking fiction ever of any media of all time does wings correctly and it makes me explode and die #literally the first thing i always ever look at when theres new dragon media is the wing shape #if they get it right its an automatic 10 #PROPS TO GAME OF THRONES DRAGONS FOR HAVING THE PATAGIAL MEMBRANE THOUGH #THAT SHIT GETS NOT DRAWN OR ADDED TO CREATURES SO MUCH AND ITS SO HORRID TO SEE #BUT ITS SUCH A CRUCIAL DETAIL!!! I DONT UNDERSTAND!! WHY THE REST OF THE WING IS WRONG!!! IF THEY GOT THAT RIGHT!!!! #ITS LIKE GOING TO AN EXAM AND ACING THE EXTRA CREDIT AND HANDING THE REST IN BLANK #I DONT GET IT

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

[olivieblake]

hey I don't have Tumblr but I constantly read ur works bc u make me feel safe and at home which is silly because I don't know you but really I just am so so so so scared im in high school and a female and I feel like my childhood has been ripped out of my hands and that I won't have a future and rbg just like was the final straw? I don't know - I feel so hopeless and angry about being hopeless.

it’s not silly to take comfort in fiction. what you feel while reading or watching something is a real emotion you’re actually experiencing, so let me open by assuring you that there’s nothing wrong with coping with the world by processing in other ways; safe ways, like fiction, have lower stakes and allow you to deal with your emotions in a manageable way. you do know me because you know the way I see the world. and if seeing the world I see is something that brings you comfort, that is something I am unbelievably happy to do

as for the rest: I was just recently thinking how powerfully helpless it would feel to not be of voting age in this election, particularly with all the messages seeming to revolve around some obscure call for action by young people. youth activists like malala, greta thunberg, emma gonzalez are so incredibly admirable, but they are also proof that the burden of producing tangible results can’t simply fall to the young. as frustrating as it is, policy change comes from lawmakers and institutions. direct action can help a community, but as a nation we are shaped by much more than what any individual can do. which is not to make you feel better necessarily (I doubt it does lol), but to be clear that the stress you may feel is not only unfair, but a form of suppression; disillusionment that will keep you from actively participating when the time comes.

you’re not wrong to say you’re being robbed of childhood, and your fear of not having a future is a valid one. there’s not much I can say in that respect because I’m scared, too. for me, the fear doesn’t come from 45 or his political disciples, but the unfathomable schism between the ideologies of the two political parties. how do we resolve this? it’s one thing to elect a new president, to flip the senate, to take the institutional steps necessary to heal all this scorched earth—which are all things we need to do, without question—but how do we confront the ideologies that seem so incomprehensible? the loss of rbg is so painful precisely because we have already witnessed how little some of this country seems to care for the rights and dignities of women and minorities. it is hard, and harder every day, to wonder how it could be possible that what’s right will prevail when institutionally, systemically, we are at a disadvantage. we have no way of knowing whether meaningful change will ever occur, or whether things will worsen. we have to find the energy to believe in, firstly, and then work towards, the progress we aren’t guaranteed.

this should not be happening. the entirety of our political problems stem from a subset of society that feels something has been taken from them, because it has. redistribution of social power is a good thing because it was in one group’s hands for far too long. straight white christians are angry because not-straight not-white not-christians have gotten this crazy idea they deserve a fucking voice, which is why every argument feels so spectacularly dehumanizing. I know it’s hard to see any of this as a good thing—I know everything is hard to see as good right now—but it is, more so than ever before, a long-justified revolution. you are living through a revolution, and that is why you feel stressed, it’s why you feel scared, it’s why you feel robbed. and I wish there were more to say on the subject to ease that for you, but believe me, each day that you choose to be optimistic, to believe that people and communities and societies and countries can change for the better, is a day you’re making an incredibly brave and world-altering choice. 

don’t doomscroll. social media is alarming, twitter especially, because it’s impossible to tell what’s real, what’s trolls, and what’s just people screaming into their computers for lack of anything real to do or say. your algorithm is feeding that little monster in your head that tells you the world has never been like this before; it has, wars and genocides and economic depressions and natural disasters and worse. but change is possible. I can’t promise you when it will happen, but history proves that progress is not a straight line. you have to have faith in the anomalies, the bizarre chance that everything that seems to be going wrong might somehow, with enough effort, go unexpectedly right. there are so few certainties in life; that you will find love or find your passions or find where you need to be are all equally mysteries your life has yet to reveal to you. have faith in action, have faith in conviction, have faith in your value. 

that is revolutionary, and so are you

#big sistering #Anonymous

[sadncssfossilized]

sexuality troubles.

i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.

is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.

all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.

nsfw incoming.

ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.

i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha

#questioning #lesbian #trans masc #nonbinary #bisexual #transmasc #trans man #help #lgbtq #queer #trans #rambles

[cantbehandled-ever]

i was tagged by the lovely @flowrxchild and @satans-helper to answer these questions, thanks sm!

What was the last thing you read?

- my chem textbook, i have a final on thursday

Favourite movie?

- the sixth sense

Favourite book?

- a case of need by michael crichton

Dream date?

- kayaking!!! i love kayaking and me and my date could go kayak where all the manatees are!!

Do you have a crush?

- on every girl i meet

What are your hobbies?

- collecting vinyls, playing my bass, being an absolute dumbass, kayaking, going to concerts, and camping

What’s your favourite time of day?

- mid morning! i’m a morning person and it’s typically after i’ve had time to wake up, but haven’t dealt with enough to ruin my day yet lol

If you could look like anything, what would you look like?

- skinny. that’s all i want

Are you romantic?

- cripplingly so! so whoever ends up being my partner needs to prepare themselves

What’s your favourite type of weather?

- sunny, but cool. i like it cool enough to wear layers, but not freezing

What do you like talking about?

- my niche interests, music, and i like when people share anecdotes that they think i will find funny

What are your turn ons?

- being gentle, nice smiles/ nice laughs, being super passionate about what they’re doing, playing with my hair, and a bunch of other stuff because i’m horny and touch-starved

Turn offs?

- being condescending, being overly controlling, conservative political views, and not having stuff they care about

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

- i want a bee tattoo so bad and once i get the money, i’m probably going to get it! i want it on the outer left arm, above the elbow

Do you have any pets?

- nope, i miss it though. pet fees at apartments are so expensive though

Dream job?

- an oral surgeon i suppose, but idk. i just want something that makes me happy and can support me.

Dream place to live?

- not in florida lol. i want to live closer to the mountains and forests, but idk exactly where

Dream vacation?

- backpacking through ireland! my uncle did it when he was around my age and it sounds like an amazing experience

Do you have any piercings?

- two, but they’re nothing interesting unfortunately. i really want to get my nose pierced, i just don’t want it affecting my chances of getting into dental school bc i’m not “professional-looking”

If you had kids, what would you name them?

- considering i don’t want kids, i have no fucking idea lol

What are your best traits?

- my laugh, i have a good sense of humor most of the time, and i tend to be pretty understanding

Worst traits?

- i am very anxious, so i get paranoid that i upset people way too easily. i also am way too sensitive. plus, i’m annoying

What’s your worst fear?

- me getting stuck doing something i hate for the rest of my life

What do you want to eat right now?

- nothing, i just ate cheddar broccoli soup though, so that can be my answer

What’s your best vacation you’ve ever been on?

- when i went to colorado and i stayed in the mountains! we went white water rafting and hiking, it was a really nice time

Favourite city?

- greenville, south carolina

Favourite social media platform?

- tumblr

Favourite article of clothing?

- either my doc martens or my flares!

Do you play any sports?

- not anymore, but i used to swim competitively and play volleyball

Favourite meal of the day?

- dinner, i suppose. i don’t really eat breakfast and lunch is usually at school, so it’s p boring

What are you excited for?

- being done with this semester lol, also weirdly enough, i’m really excited to get my wisdom teeth out bc i’ve had a lot of problems with them

Not excited for?

- finals

When was the last time you cried?

- yesterday. i cry all the time

Dream house?

- lots of windows, super cozy, room for a big garden!

What’s something you hate about the world?

- lack of basic human empathy, also a complete disregard for our environment. bonus item: capitalism

What’s something you love about the world?

- has a lot of creative outlets and lots of unique cultures

What scents do you like?

- peonies is my fave, but i also like really clean scents

What kind of sleeper are you?

- stomach sleeper! also a really light sleeper, so i never really feel well-rested

Are you a cat or dog person?

- technically a dog person, because i’ve never owned a cat, but i do want a cat eventually

How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

- probably two weeks, maybe a month if i find a good group

Are you trusting?

- unfortunately way too much lol. i guess i’m kinda naive because i want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but once you break my trust, you’ll never get it back

What fictional character do you identify with?

- ben wyatt from parks and recreation

What labels do you commonly get?

- annoying, loud, straight (lol v unfortunate), and funny

What song would be your life anthem?

- i still miss someone by johnny cash

What issues are you dealing with rn?

- stress and the normal mental illness bullshit

How can someone win you over?

- tell me i’m funny lol, also just be nice to me

What’s something about you people don’t know?

- i’m allergic to shellfish

i tag: @mountainofthesunn @aint-no-denying @shes-outta-sight @gvfyeet @longhaireddeacy @bigthighsandstupidguys @n1-party-anthem @im-gettin-hazy @v-i-d-e-n-o-i-r

#tagged

[cockbiteproductions]

you know i'm coming in with the request for Prime Numbers

i have to google if 1 is a prime number or not Every Single Time i think about prime numbers. it is not. maybe i will remember that one day.

this ended up being a bit long so i’ll put it under a readmore.

2: Favorite book?

sorry but i don’t know how to read....... again.... no favorite book. very sorry but all i read is fic. but the most recent book i read was never let me go by kazuo ishiguro which i enjoyed. english class got me reading books man. i’ve read like 5 of these fuckers this semester. one of my favorite fanfics ever is atlas by distractedkat i guess. and swinging pendulum by cywscross but that one is incomplete. i read ghettoside a true story of murder in 11th grade and liked that a lot. again, not a favorite. just a book i enjoyed.

3: Favorite fictional character?

just one? just one??? if it’s just One it’s ahsoka tano...... she man..... just She. close runner up is jared kleinman though tbh. he’s really shot up in the rankings. very different characters but i love them both very much. well the Similarities are the snark / sarcasm. ahsoka is like. role model material. and wife material. and like. unabashedly badass and strong through hardship and brave and just. cool as hell. child me growing up watching tcw was like oh my god i want to be her. jared is more like. oh god i relate to this disaster man. 

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

again..... just one? i know ship means like. romantic relationship. but fuck that. my favorite relationship is the weird brother/sister father/daughter relationship anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano have going on. man. just. Them. if i had to pick romantic relationship uh i guess currently it’s evan hansen and jared kleinman. (it’s the tragedy. i’m a fan of unhappy endings ok... the only thing i like more than an unhappy ending is a banger fix it fic. get the Ouch of the unhappy ending in comparison to the happy ending. + time travel so an in canon character Knows about the unhappy ending and gets to experience the good one? good shit.... im on a tangent.)

7: List 3 negative traits you have

- lazy. i do nothing every day all day......

- coward. I Be Scared.

- clingy. still thinking about that time an ex friend said i was too annoying bc i talked to them too much. rip. thanks for being my source of anxiety whenever i think i’m talking to people too much now.

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

i just generally lose contact with people. i can only recall ever making a conscious decision to cut someone out of my life a few times ever. once was winter/spring of last year when a friend of mine was a real ass to me. but a lot of the time i intentionally distance myself because of [do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep] and i didn’t go to sleep.

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

“cemeteries never do provide the answers of the questions to inside” from velociraptor by joe iconis

“we find the solution to escape our fate. it lies in the equal distribution of our weight.” from last on land by joe iconis.

“i tried to give her something real but all she wanted was a show. and i’m not much of a jester, seems i’m more like a clown. i try, everything and anything to paint my face and blow up a balloon but there was no air left to give. it left me long ago.” from don’t love her anymore by maria wirries.

“you lead with your heart and i’ll lead with my heart (let’s talk it out) and we’ll talk it out, let’s talk it out.” from talk it out by asia kate dillon.

“and it ain’t just about the blood. shout out to the families that’s families cause of love.” from family by roman banks.

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

what a question........ i’d like a donut right now. i have donuts and they’re in the kitchen but i am sitting on the couch and don’t feel like moving. so a donut in my hand right now. that’d be nice. or i’d wish for this couch to be more comfy. oh wait. i’d like to wish for pandemic over.

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

don’t have to deal with heartbreak if you never heart broken in the first place [rollsafe.jpg]. uh but for real, really badly. i just don’t deal with it for months at a time and then end up crying for like a solid 2-3 hours straight when i finally think about it a bit too much. and then repeat. and then eventually i get over it. it works pretty well except for the times where i am crying for 2-3 hrs at a time.

27: What helps you realize that you have a crush on someone?

misread this question as “what helps you when you realize you have a crush on someone” and was quite confused for a moment. uh i would like to think i am pretty self aware, so i realize it pretty quickly. but it basically boils down to I Actively Look Forward to talking to them. which also applies to like friends though. idk man i crush on a lot of people for like 10 minutes and then get over it just as quickly. i guess the difference between the 10 minute crushes and the people who fuck me up is like. my time investment in this person. how often i spend thinking about them when i am not interacting with them + how much i interact with them. oH no i realized after typing all this that 3*9 is 27 oops. oh well you get an extra answer.

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

only if they let it. if the person thinks its important and spends a fair amount of time learning about it then they’ll probably internalize some of it. i mean it’s like that thing about names influencing the kind of person people become except names are things everyone pays attention to and is actually relevant.

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

sleeping in or taking a nap. which i do. a lot. and should do now. it’s 1:30 am. i just love being unconscious. no thoughts head empty time. temporary death. no dealing with anything. blanket soft.

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

no not really. i have to have expectations that are differed from to be surprised. my lack of like. awareness about my place in people’s lives means i don’t really expect people to stick around or plan for that. which sounds sad but it’s just not something i really think about. really it’s that expectation bit. i don’t think about it so i don’t have any expectations so i’m not surprised.

41: How do you show you care?

caring about people is for losers. insert sunglasses face emoji. uh generally just telling someone about [something that reminded me of them] or sending someone something i think they’d appreciate like a song or meme or whatever.

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

sloth. im a lazy fucker. if i could not do anything forever i might. or maybe gluttony but not for food. for like. things that make me happy. overindulgence in media when i should be doing other things. i have no self control. see below.

47: What are you passionate about?

very generally, fiction. the amount of time i invest in thinking about or consuming [fiction, fan generated or otherwise] is honestly ridiculous. stories are just cool man. escapism babey!

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #thank u !!!! #nothingunrealistic1

[chngbok]

50 Questions Tag ✨

thank you for tagging me @sprouttsse ♥

under the cut, because this is LONG ~  [ also beware of major oversharing ]

what takes too much of your time?

social media? games n stuff

what’s makes your day better?

@linos-teeth cough

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

I went to a really cool castle n i took LOADS of pictures (mainly flowers oops)  and I made two my new lock&home screen ~

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmm thedas,, away from whatever shits going on at the time i guess.

are you good at giving advice?

i dont know? for some things maybe?

do you have any mental illness?

LEts noT

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

i used to a lot, one time i had it while i was on a school trip away and it was the first night and god it was horrible,,,, then quite a few times when i lost my grandparents.

what musician inspired you the most?

hmmm skz?

have you fallen in love?

i d k dude

what’s your dream date?

ok plS SOMEONE GO ON A WALK WITH ME LIKE,,,, I JUst wanna go on a walk and take photos i cry.

what do others notice about you?

:’) good thing? my eyes r pointed out a lot,,,, bad? i get told that i crack my knuckles a lot smh.

what is an annoying habit that you have?

im told its cracking my knuckles lmao fdkdkfdf

do you still talk to your first love?

doNT have one r l y idK?

how many ex’s do you have?

gonna sound rLY SHItty after what i just said wow but idk,,, i’ll say 1 serious one?

how many songs are in your playlist?

main playlist is like 400 then i have a smaller one which has like 200 and then a writing one which is like just piano n shit which is about 70ish,,, so not that many t b h

what instruments do you play?

t r i e d piano and guitar but not anymore lmao

who do you have the most pictures of?

hmMmm my pets and skz? @linos-teeth collection is growing tho <_<

where would you like to go before you die?

Korea germany and australia.

what’s your zodiac?

Leo

do you relate to it?

n a H

what is happiness to you?

o god hmm,,,, no idea idk how to word it

are you going through anything right now?

well sure?

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i’ve always hated how i used to reject my grandads hugs and avoid him a lot when i basically spent time there everyday and idk wish I’d shown him more love while I could.

what’s your favorite store?

uMm,,,, dude I dont go shopping enough for this smh. no idea.

what’s your opinion on abortion?

dude they’re valid as shit,,,,, if you want one its up to you dude.

do you keep a bucket list?

NUpe

do you have a favorite album?

our queen I am who,,,, closely followed by miroh oh my fucking god.

what do you want for your birthday?

(made an amazon list already oops bc I have a lot of family far away so,,, but yeah thats literally only a couple of albums but iDK,,,, I’m on holiday for my birthday so it’d be nice to relax anD NOT WALk up too many hills,,,,, we’re going to the lake district)

what are most people’s first impression of you?

so i recently started a new college and people there always think im in a mood shrug,,,, app to them im really grumpy.

what age to you seem according to most people?

people always thought I was older because of my height,,, idk anymore tho. I feel like I have a stupidly young face for my age now i d k.

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on the window sill or like down the side of my bed, there a lil crack bc the radiator stops half way flfdfd

what word do you say the most?

out loud? dude, typing? idk fuck probably lmao

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk about dating in the first place,,,, but maybe if i wanna and im like at an age i feel comfy dating idk? iDK,,,,, 4?5? years older idk watch me just date at like 60.

what’s the youngest age would you date?

idK WHats with aLL the dating s m h,,,,, but again whEN I WAnna idk,,,, 2 years youNGER? 3?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

im told i’d be good with kids but i hate them with a passion???? also been told i would be good at teaching,,,,

what’s your favorite music genre?

no fucking idea

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

no i dea,,,, korea? but i doubt i’d survive with their standards,,,, can i cheat n just like go hop a few miles to wales?

what’s your current favorite song?

chronosaurus my baby

how long have you have this blog for?

had this blog since,,, late august? first blog was years ago tho i cry

what are you excited for?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i d k...

are you a better talker or a listener?

listnener 100%

what is the last productive thing you did?

put off homework and write other stuff??? iTS WRITING So?

what do you want for Christmas?

changbin,,,

what classes do you get the best grades in?

history

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

it plummeted to a solid 3 bc of me being hyper jealous for the smallest of reasons.

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

history teacher maybe?

when did you first get your heartbreak?

dude i d k what counts as a heart break? loosing my grandparents? looking my cat?? was a fucking mess that one time i didn’t talk to a friend for a week AND lost a friend the sAME WEEk id k.

at what age do you want to get married?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, d o i wanna get married? me n my friend who r both ace n probably aro used to be liKE LETs just do it when we’re oldER BUT THat didn’t work out so like,,,, to my other friends hmu if ur sad n lonely in the future.

what career did you want to have as a child?

always wanted to be a teacher?

what do you crave right now?

ANOTHER SOLO CHANGBIN LIVE

tagging @changbiinn @trashfbin @linos-teeth @honey-innie and anyone else shrug

#tag #tag games #misc #y e a h jealousy struck about a 3rd of the way in help #i feel like crap now #fdkkfdkfkfdk :')

[hontou-baka]

a post.

been awhile, hasnt it, tumblr.

i have a fair amount of followers, half of which are probably old spam and porn accounts, so i doubt anyone will read this and i doubt anyone cares. venting, self indulgence, i guess.

im not sure if im back. i hope not. not to sound condescending, but im trying to spend my time doing meaningful and purposeful stuff. tumblr is just another social media app that sucks up my time when procrastinating. but i might try to get back into art, and tumblr is maybe the best place to put that, so.... idfk.

i came back once, fleetingly, when white diamond was revealed- knowing tumblr was my best place for content and info and craving it. same goes for right now. i just finished the homestuck epilogues and needed to see others thoughts, some content, i need it for my own catharsis.

ill give my hot take on the epilogues. im sure you could already tell what my opinion is from the posts ive shared. to my relief, this seems to what the majority of others are feeling, too (based on my scrolling through the homestuck epilogue tag for a few hours). they were fucking awful. felt like an edgelord's "pain is the epitome of human emotion" fanfic. it solidified my feeling that hussie no longer cares about homestuck. no, it confirmed to me that he violently LOATHES homestuck, and perhaps even (or especially) its fanbase.

i always thought homestuck would be the most important thing to me. it was, ever since i started reading it 6 or so years ago. there will never be anything that even comes close to what homestuck was for me. it was the only thing that kept me alive through some of the hardest parts of my childhood. i made some great friends at the time because of it (not that any of them stuck around). i was planning on doing homestuck cosplays for the rest of my cosplay existence, to prove that homestuck was still my #1. i wanted to get homestuck tattoos once i was free of debt!

but the ending of homestuck left me bitter. imo, the fandoms bullshit and the hiveswap fuckery left no love in hussies heart for his creation. he wanted it over, and just ended it. but nobody was satisfied with that of course, including me. so i was ecstatic to hear there would be an epilogue. but as weeks, months, years went by with nothing... i began to accept that wed probably never get epilogues. id just love homestuck for what it was, be salty about the ending, and that was that.

then, they came.

reading the epilogue tags, i thought they were a joke, just as many others did. it sounded like every sensitive subject that could ever be tagged was in there, including shit that just seemed ludicrous. but i persisted, like a fool, desperate for the sburb-logo hole on my heart to be filled.

the prologue already gave me so many red flags. my husband had hope, liked where it was going. a huge time skip, ten years we just have to accept went by. all of the characters had drifted apart so bad it was jarring. johns depression and mistakes and regret was daunting. everything felt so off.

and it only got worse. i started with candy. i was confused that thered even be the option all written out for john to stay. at first, i thought i was going to get some good ship shit. rosemary was the only good thing about candy. johnroxy started, took the fuck off, then just... it all fell apart. not a singe character consistently behaved in a way that felt like a natural progression of the characters we followed for so many years. what was the point of jane becoming trumphilter? to angstily show the duality of man? what was the point of all of the weird ass sex? it just feels like such a forced thing, like "oh, everyones grown up now! gotta fuck, and dont you dare even THINK any of it is going to be vanilla fluff and not.... anything but that...."

im not usually one to get upset over content that most find triggering, unless its real or shown in a very real way. but, for example, i honestly felt sick when dirk killed himself. i could go on about candy but it just felt like there was so much bait for a semblance of happiness, just to make it all as bad as possible.

meat was worse. hastily attempting to tie up plot points (like lord english) while also making dirk akuma homura...

also, apparently the author of family never ends had a hand in this? ive never been one for fan fiction, but for some reason i read that one, and it fucked me up. bad. i had the worst bout of depression and even suicidal thoughts for the first time in a while because of that fic. so, it feels like hussie wanted to recruit some ruthless-ass people to make something to intentionally hurt the people who demanded so much of him for a work he clearly hates now.

i... i think i dont like homestuck anymore, EXCLUSIVELY because of this. it feels like im throwing away one of the biggest parts of myself. it hurts so much, i feel so, SO betrayed. i would rather hussie have just announced he no longer had passion for homestuck, give us a shitty .txt file of a true ending (or the gist of one), and have left it there. but i guess that wouldnt have made him money now that viz bought the franchise.

i think, i will not come back to tumblr. it hurts. i had plenty of reasons for leaving, including everyone dipping out of homestuck. and i have other interests now that just dont align with the tumblr ive made and the followers i have (not like, core shit like lgbt+ rights or anything, im just really into health/fitness and particularly nutrition and i doubt my followers signed up for that plot twist). without homestuck, its even more just a painful past that haunts me here.

thanks for everything, if anyone ever even reads this. it was fun while it lasted.

-Hanna, aka hungoverterezipyrope

#i dont even remember my personal tag anymore... #the sickest thing about all of this is i will might always keep up with homestuck. #if i come back- it will be a completely new account #with no fandoms. just health and fitness and nutrition and shit like that i guess.

[thegeminisage]

🎤 for the fic meme!

🎤 - what’s a strongly-held opinion you have about fics?

geez what ISNT a strongly held opinion i have about fics...let me see if i can narrow it down to like a top 5 or something lol. in no particular order:

there really is not any such thing as "writer's block." i know i say this all the time but there literally always is a particular reason the words aren't happening and waving it away as a "mysterious block" like the power to type fiction in a google doc is an ability given to you by the gods on high & you just have to wait for them to bless you again is like. not actually going to help you get anything done. it's not magic and it doesn't happen on its own! figure out the problem, the EXACT problem, and then you can fix it.

ambient sounds/the right music will always make it easier to write. i have a whole list

fics and books aren't the same thing. they're 2 different forms of media that are just similar on a surface level, like tv & movies. saying fics aren't as good as "real books" is like saying tv isn't as good as "real movies." tv isn't trying to be movies & fics aren't trying (or shouldn't be trying) to be books so shut the fuck up. (also, fic is better <3) relatedly, if someone wants to file off the serial numbers then just let them & leave them alone, that's literally their own business. it's kind of unfair that fanartists can get paid and we all accept that as normal and not cringe but fanfic authors can't even SUGGEST they should be paid without getting roasted and in fact have to jump thru hoops (said serial numbers) if they ever wanna see any cash. i don't really wanna get paid for writing fanfic bc i do it for fun and that's an instant way to take the passion out of it but i do believe you should be able to commission a fic/set up a patreon the way u can for fanart cuz that's only fair. you know?? like in this unsympathetic bitch of a capitalist hellscape im not gonna judge most people for trying to monetize their shit. Bad Opinion but there it is

fic writing is for fun and if you are stressing a lot about your stats or if comments are the only reason you write it is not a good way to live. i won't elaborate in order to respect privacy but i have had not one but TWO former-ish friends have literal actual nervous breakdowns about this. if you can't separate fic writing from the need for it to be personal validation you're never going to enjoy it for its own sake and you should maybe work on some personal stuff instead of your fanfic. idk i'm not your mom

DO NOT DO THAT THING where you like. put "idk how to summarize" or a fic excerpt in your summary. AND THEN PUT THE ACTUAL SUMMARY. IN YOUR NOTES. i can't see the author's notes from the browsing page! if you can summarize it in the author's notes you can move that text to the box that i actually can see! excerpts are great for tumblr but they're very bad at getting me to click on a fic on AO3 unless the tags are both very descriptive and very up my alley. if you really like excerpts you can put that AND the summary in the summary box but for the love of god don't hide the summary behind something i have to click on bc i'm so sorry but i will not do it.

[ask meme]

#liz answers asks #copacet-blog #liz loves writing #ask memes #long post

[kootenaygoon]

So,

There was a pretty young blond woman dancing naked in the Salmo River.

Hundreds of Shambhala enthusiasts were luxuriating along the rocky shorelines, while others drifted lazily in flamboyantly decorated inner tubes and neon-coloured flamingos. Music from the Living Room stage filled the afternoon with an electric ambience, and the sky was transitioning back and forth from baby blue to cherry pink. I laid on my back in my wet boxer shorts, analyzing the energy currently coursing through my body, until my eyes fell on the woman in the water. She was purposeful with her movements, languid, and had an empowered stance that betrayed no hint of fear or embarrassment. It amazed me. This was my second time attending the festival, and I was intent on engaging with the whole culture of it on a deeper level.

“You see this right here? This is a demonstration of safety,” I said to my friend Astra, who was dressed as a space dragon. “Everyone always talks like Shambhala is this scary, wretched place where you’re going to get assaulted and raped but the truth is the opposite. Where else in the world can a woman dance naked in public without fear or shame?”

She shrugged. “Maybe she’s just really fucked up.”

“But don’t you think that speaks to the environment they’re creating here? This is like the only place a lot of people can safely be themselves.”

“Shambhala is like my religion. It’s the happiest I ever am, is here on this ranch.”

I shook my head. “I never understood it before, the appeal. Mostly because I don’t like the music. But it’s not about the music, it’s about the culture.”

“You’re over-thinking it,” she said.

Astra and I had dated briefly while I was in university, long before I ever met Paisley, but we’d successfully transitioned into a long-term platonic relationship that was a little on the grey side at times. She was one of the only people I’d ever met over the years who I could really show my dark side to without judgment. Anything I did, she’d done something worse. She’d been briefly homeless as a teenager, had dated drug dealers and survived assaults, so she made my life feel G-rated. When I heard she was coming out to Shambhala I connected with her on Facebook, arranging to connect on the second day. After smoking a joint and doing a small amount of ketamine, we decided to take up a salesman’s offer of acid popsicles.

“I actually have never done acid before,” I said. “I always thought it would be crazier than this.”

“It can be hit or miss. I can’t believe you’ve never done acid before.”

“You always forget how virginal I am. I fucking grew up Christian, right?”

“Well, you’re going to have fun.”

One thing Astra and I always connected over was my writing. Specifically my writing about her. At UVic I’d written a poem about drinking beer with her at Mile Zero, and then during my MFA I was constantly re-working an experimental creative non-fiction piece called “This is what I look like naked”. During the short time we were together I produced a bunch of little stories and vignettes that didn’t end up having any other purpose, and she was always showing up in my fiction. She wasn’t a strong writer, or much of a reader, but she loved stories.

“You know Bianca’s a writer too, right?” Astra said, leaning against her fellow space dragon. “She’s at UVic.”

“No way. I just graduated from there like three years ago. What teachers do you have?”

Bianca shrugged, named a few I didn’t recognize. “My favourite teacher by far, though, is Lee Henderson. Like he’s beyond typical teacher level, I just fucking love that guy.”

“Lee? Yeah, I know Lee. I never had him as a teacher, but his friend Steven Galloway was my thesis advisor.”

“You know Steven Galloway?” Bianca gasped, seemingly in the know about the current scandal. “I didn’t know he was friends with Lee.”

“Oh yeah, they worked together at UBC before he swapped over.”

I knew it was potentially a sketchy idea to keep my phone on me while I was high, but making this Lee Henderson connection with Bianca felt like something worthy of acknowledging on social media. I went rifling through my shorts until I found my phone, then sent him a tweet from the both of us.

“So do you think he’s guilty?” Bianca asked. “Like do you know what’s going on with all that?”

I shook my head. “That’s the frustrating thing. Nobody even knows exactly what he’s being accused of. And you should see the way people are acting online. It’s fucking bonkers. Lee’s out there trying to defend him and it’s just this vicious doggy-pile, you know?”

Astra was confused. “So everyone’s pissed at him but they don’t know what he did?”

“Everyone assumes it’s rape.”

She frowned. “Well, if he’s guilty then fuck ‘im.”

I could feel myself getting worked up. I cared deeply about sexual violence, and whenever it came up as a topic my heart would beat a little faster. The trees across the way were beginning to sway unnaturally, but I re-averted my gaze in Bianca’s direction. She was passionately decrying rape culture and explaining to Astra the ways institutions silence victims. I was feeling like if we talked about this any longer I might vomit, and maybe this pleasant trip would pivot somewhere dark, like last year. Eventually I stood up and went down to the water for a swim. The woman was still dancing in the shallows, shin-deep. Eventually Astra came down to sit beside me, letting me know the posse was planning to head to the next venue. She saw my pensive look.

“What’s going on in your head?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, I was just mentally composing my column for the newspaper. You’re going to be in it, just so you know.”

“You’re not going to talk about drugs or anything, are you?”

“No, no. It’s like sanitized coverage that’s appropriate for a larger audience. But the column I can be a little more creative, I don’t have to go for the straight-up journalism thing.”

“What are you going to write about me?” she asked, her voice soft. I looked over and met her gaze.

“I’m going to write about your beautiful purple wings.”

The Kootenay Goon