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#im planning on buying an energy drink anyways so...............u know
1kook · 3 years
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commercial break: twelve
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this is part of my netflix & chill series a prelude to part 10 <3
SUMMARY Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee.  WARNING none !! we r safe MISC jk and doyeon mortal enemies, nearly everyone is mentioned, thank u namjoon, jk loves oc, the end <3 jimin makes his first appearance O_O WC 1.4k
NOTES we just having fun with it!!! jk’s friendship with everyone else <3
Doyeon says you have fat fingers, and Jungkook takes great offense at that. “Who cares about the size— __ has pretty hands, idiot,” he mutters, and almost wants to feel bad about being so childish in the middle of this jewelry store. But Kim Doyeon is a pest— a fly who just won’t stop buzzing by his ear with each ring they look at, and she has the audacity to look disgusted with him now. Jungkook very much regrets inviting her along. She exudes very similar energy to the popular girls he used to go to high school, the ones that would only talk to him because he was friends with Namjoon and wanted Jungkook to help them into his pants. Lo and behold, Kim Doyeon is very acquainted with whatever’s inside Namjoon’s pants. She hits the mark perfectly. 
“Oh, definitely get her a rock. Like, one of those obnoxiously bing and shiny rings, maybe?” And she never stops talking. 
Jungkook hasn’t had to spend this much time with her in months, the last time being Namjoon’s birthday when you had tasked the two of them to go pick up the cake together. Not only was Doyeon adamant on passenger-seat driving — “Turn here,” she says a moment too late, “no wait, here — but she had been an absolute heathen outside in the bakery parking lot. 
(“Okay, now take a picture of me by this wall,” she says, artfully holding up the box of cake in two hands, dark hair flipped over her shoulder. Jungkook doesn’t know how to tell her that there is no significant difference between this brick wall and the brick wall they just took a picture by two minutes before.)
Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. It would be him and Namjoon, and maybe Namjoon’s blunt roommate Jimin if he was feeling down for it, but that was pretty much it. Even Taehyung, a very close and dearly cherished friend, had not made the cut. He was too lazy, didn’t offer much concrete advice other than the occasional, “that one looks cool” comment. 
The great thing about Namjoon is that he’s highly educated on just about every aspect of life; he knows the best hairstylists — “You can always ask Hobi,” Namjoon offers, “he’s married.” — and the best lawyers — “Oh, and Yoongi can help with your prenup.” — for no reason other than the fact he is Namjoon. 
The bad thing about Namjoon is that he’s dead set on including Doyeon. “Doyeon is ___’s best friend,” he says calmly one night after dinner. You’re at your friend’s house this weekend, something about a midnight revenge plot against a shitty ex-boyfriend. He isn’t too clear on the details. “You have to let her in on it.” It’s been decades since Jungkook last stomped his foot in annoyance, but the urge wells up strongly in him now. 
Jimin is on the couch. “Oooh, you don’t like her?” he asks, flipping his platinum hair away from his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t answer, only because it would be rude to confirm it in front of Namjoon. Jimin presses on. “Is she, like, an evil best friend?”
“Yes,” Jungkook says at the same time Namjoon says, “no.” Jimin’s got this highly intrigued smirk on his face, and Jungkook hates how similar it is to your own mischievous grins. He’s glad you haven’t met Jimin, mostly because he knows you have your mean moments and meeting Park Jimin would only exacerbate them. Namjoon frowns anyway. 
Jimin says, “oh, you guys should duel. Like, whoever knows __ the best gets to keep her.” 
Namjoon jumps to stop that thought. “No— they’re not gonna duel, Jimin. ___ isn’t an object to win,” he scolds, and Jungkook nods along agreeingly, pretends he hadn’t seriously considered Jimin’s idea for a solid ten seconds. 
Long story short, Doyeon has tagged along to this jeweler and the past two jewelers to make sure Jungkook doesn’t give you “an ugly ring,” as she claims. 
“Wait, what if you get her this one,” she says, on the other side of the store. Jungkook sighs, but hurries over anyway. Hey, he’s here to see some rings, okay? 
Doyeon is looking at the most ugly ring Jungkook has ever seen, a mix of a braid and a snake, that is just too… not you. “This is hideous,” he says, disregarding all and any notions of being polite because at this point, she had to be pulling his leg. “___ would hate this.” 
At his side, Doyeon huffs. “Oh, ‘cause you know ___ sooo well, don’t you?” she snarks. 
Jungkook levels her with a glare. “I do, actually,” he says, “that’s literally what made me want to marry her.” And because Kim Doyeon sparks a very immature flame within him, he feels the need to add, “I probably know ___ better than you,” to top it off. 
Doyeon scoffs. “No, you don’t— you will never know her like I do, you overgrown fungus,” she spits. “Me and ___ have exceeded any level of trust you could ever hope to have, a friendship forged on the grounds of love and equal values. A nerd like you can’t even begin to fathom the absolutely crazy shit we’ve shared with each other.” 
If he was eight years younger, Jungkook is certain he would have gone home and cried. Mid-twenties Jungkook, on the other hand, has had one too many rodeos with mean girls — he’s dating a retired high school cheerleader, for goodness sake, an apex predator if he’s ever seen one — and will not stand for it. Besides, Jungkook has received your blessing to check Doyeon into place if ever she crosses the line. 
(“Sometimes you just gotta knock her down, maybe call her a dumbass if necessary,” you had said one night after Doyeon had unceremoniously barged into your apartment to monopolize your evening plans with Jungkook. Now it’s nearing midnight and as much as Jungkook wants to spend time with you, he’s deathly tired. “Just tell her off.” 
Jungkook frowns, snuggles closer until he’s so tightly pressed against your body that he can’t tell whose heartbeat is whose. He likes it like that.
There’s just something about your annoying best friend that activates this feeling in Jungkook’s chest. If anything, Jungkook imagines it is similar to that of having a bratty little sister. But Doyeon as his sister? He rolls his eyes so far back he swears he sees his own brain. 
It’s childish and petty and unlike Jungkook — or at least, unlike the Jungkook he knows you think he is. Which is flattering, to be thought of so highly, but sometimes Jungkook wonders where on earth you got that idea from. Because whenever he’s around you, Jungkook becomes increasingly immature, grows so greedy and needy, desperate for anything you have to give him. 
And because he’s so immature, he settles on tattling to you instead, “she called me a sweaty meat bag,” to which you snort in amusement.) 
For now, he calls on the spirit of the most mature person he knows (Namjoon). Jungkook takes one last look at his millionth silver band of the day before turning to address the Wicked Witch of the West. “I might not know ___ like you do, but that’s fine,” he says calmly. “We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together anyway.” 
In front of him, Doyeon’s eye twitches and Jungkook senses he has won. For now. See, the thing is, Jungkook knows that using Namjoon-level logic against her is foolproof. For one, Namjoon’s logic is always solid. But also, as much as Jungkook despises Kim Doyeon with nearly every fiber in his being… ultimately, they share a common interest: cherishing you. 
Had it not been for your existence in their lives, Jungkook doubts he would have ever spent his Saturday morning at a jeweler with the likes of Kim Doyeon, especially not after she had spent ten minutes in the Starbucks drive-thru ordering the most bizarrely complicated drink. But deep in his heart Jungkook knows that she loves you, though not as much as him, and he respects the fact she is willing to accompany him in the name of buying you a beautiful engagement ring. It’s a friendship solidarity he admires, and for that he stomps down his childish pride to answer in a way that would impress, well, you. 
(Even when you’re not here, Jungkook always wants to impress you.)
At his side, Doyeon huffs. “I should’ve never taken ___ to that party.”
Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr
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craftypeaceturtle · 3 years
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Distanced, part 2
Summary: How are these useless students coping with life?
Note: This is a group chat fic, my first one so this might not be that good! Also this contains swearing. Eventual intrulogical. 
Part 1 here!
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MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)
Friday, 13:02
Hello, sorry to interrupt, but I just want to ask where you gathering your sources? Are there any particular databases you’re using? Thank you.
Remus Prince: I’m just going through the read list.
The reading list? But that only has one text that could be anything remotely useful for this topic!
Remus Prince: ye but it’s a starting point
Remus Prince: like u can read it and then read whatever it references.
Are we allowed to do that?
Remus Prince: wha
Remus Prince: DUH! 
Surely that must count as plagiarism or something of the sort. You can’t use someone else’s sources.
Remus Prince: u sound so stupid
Remus Prince: u’ll read the book it references and form ur own interpretation.
Remus Prince: u’ll get different quotes
Remus Prince: u’ll be using it for a different argument
Remus Prince: why would u not be allowed to read texts!
MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)
Friday, 14:13
Okay I emailed Dr Smith and he said it was fine. Thank you for the advice.
Remus Prince: OMG
Remus Prince: You actually told the teacher on me!
The teacher agreed with you? You’re not in trouble.
Remus Prince: THAT WAS MY SECRET!
Remus Prince: now the teachers actually think I’m capable
If it makes you feel better, I did not mention your name.
Remus Prince: you really had to double check?
Maybe I was being a little paranoid but I don’t think you understand the crisis I’m currently having. I typically spend hours running around the library and searching random titles to figure out suitable texts. When all this time I could have just been using the references! I am beyond furious and relieved at this new technique to research. 
Remus Prince: ah of course
Remus Prince: you totally came across that way in the 2 messages you sent
My world view has been fractured, I think that justifies not texting much. 
Remus Prince: why did you apologise
Excuse me?
Remus Prince: HAH
Remus Prince: now who sucks at reading!
Remus Prince: You said sorry in the first message.
I wasn’t sure if you were in a lecture or class. It’s polite.
Remus Prince: nah
Remus Prince: I’d answer even if I was.
That is not nearly as comforting as you are intending. How far along are you in your research?
Remus Prince: honestly?
Remus Prince: I’ve read five pages in on a book on the reading list. 
Remus Prince: I’ve done like nothing.
That’s indeed some amount of research. Again, as long as you are done by the 15th then whatever it takes.
Remus Prince: See you said no judgement but I picked up a lot of judgement
We have already agreed your reading comprehension is not the best.
Remus Prince: HAH
Remus Prince: so what are u up to?
Actually working on the research project.
Remus Prince: im bored
Remus Prince: I’ve been sitting waiting for my washing machine for like 9 hours 
Remus Prince: maybe later I will do work
I sincerely doubt it has been nine hours. How come you’re washing your clothes at such an awkward time?
Remus Prince: Awkward?
I can’t think of many students who would wash their clothes in the middle of the week day with classes. 
Remus Prince: every1 washes their stuff on the weekend
Remus Prince: plus everyone knows the weekend is for doing nothing. Might as well get all my jobs done now.
You really plan to do nothing during the weekend?
Remus Prince: hells ye
Remus Prince: maybe, at most, I’ll send Dee to campus coffee
As long as you’re done by the 2nd. Though I really should congratulate you on your superior taste to coffee shops.
Remus Prince: ?
If universal opinion existed, then Campus Coffee being the best coffee shop would be considered one. For whatever ridiculous reason, both Patton and Roman don’t really like it. 
Remus Prince: really
Remus Prince: I thought I saw Ro go in.
Roman occasionally practises lines with his other theatre colleagues and that is always where they meet up. But he never buys a drink as he is apparently a literal man child and cannot cope with a drink that isn’t just chocolate and milk.
Remus Prince: RIGHT??????
Remus Prince: my roomie V likes to pretend he takes coffee but he can only drink hot choc. 
Remus Prince: He doesn’t deserve coffee anyway
Exactly! Have you talked to Remy there?
Remus Prince: YE
Remus Prince: He practically forced me to be his friend with how incredible he makes coffee
Remus Prince: He’ll even add energy drink to mine!
Okay maybe that is a little strange. But I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment. He finally convinced me to leave my usual order of a white coffee and I have not regretted it. 
He doesn’t actually add energy drink to your coffee right?
Remus Prince: ye he does but don’t worry he bullies me for it
Remus Prince: The entire time I sit and drink it he’ll be holding up his phone with 911 dialed.
That seems fair.   
Remus Prince: without being so incredibly forward
Remus Prince: do you want me to grab you a coffee now
What do you mean?
Remus Prince: Well im bored
Remus Prince: and it’s your fault for talking coffee
Remus Prince: now I really want coffee
Remus Prince: I’m now heading that direction.
I’m sorry but I cannot meet up right now. I’m doing work and then I want to be prompt coming home to help my roommate.
Remus Prince: fair thought id offer
MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)
Friday, 14:20
If you’re still willing, I am sitting in the library and I would truly appreciate it if you could drop off the coffee. 
I can pay.
Obviously this is up to you. 
Remus Prince: soz was walking
Remus Prince: ye I can do that
Sorry for not being able to sit around, but I do appreciate this. 
Remus Prince: ur fine
Remus Prince: what u want
Firstly, it is “you’re”. Secondly, without sounding like a cliche film character, just say my name. Remy makes an effort to give me a slightly different order every day to “widen my tastes”.
Remus Prince: wow
Wow?
Remus Prince: For the very epitome of the nerd stereotype, did you really hit me with that “just say my name and they’ll know” trope?
Please, I can be cool.
Remus Prince: Are you begging?
Remus Prince: Also
Remus Prince: what do you look like again?
I’m sorry?
Remus Prince: reading comprehension! Fairly simple question.
I am wearing a black polo shirt with a blue tie. Caucasian with shaved hair. 5′10. 
Remus Prince: how efficient.
May I ask why?
Remus?
Remus Prince: Soz I just got our orders. 
Remus Prince: I’m really bad at faces.
You could have simply asked where I would be. I’m on the second floor, computer room 209. There’s a few others here but I’ll wave once you walk in. 
Remus Prince: okay maybe that would’ve made more sense
Remus Prince: shutup.
I know I have stated this before, but we have indeed talked before. You will recognise me. 
Remus Prince: listen I’m not fucking around.
Remus Prince: I am genuinely shit at faces
Remus Prince: it was one question prick
I apologise. I didn’t realise. 
Remus Prince: Hey I’m here, now heading up. 
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MESSAGES: To Padre!!
Friday, 16:00
Greetings wonderful Pat! Did you perhaps end up baking today like you said you would?
Padre!!: Heya Ro! Yeah, we made cupcakes! We didn’t fancy making icing but we did have choc chips!
AW YEAH! Just wanted to check so I know whether to buy cake. Anything I need to pick up while I’m here?
Padre!!: All good here. 
Padre!!: Logan saw Remus today.
hE DID????????
Padre!!: Yeah, he brought him coffee. Some special coffee, not his white coffee.
ASJKDGA
(also how on this great big boundiful earth do you know his usual coffee order?)
Padre!!: Because that’s what family does!
Why would he bring him coffee?
Padre!!: I have no idea. Logan didn’t really talk about it. 
He didn’t talk about it?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Padre!!: I don’t know what to tell you. He got all quiet. He makes it sound like they don’t even like each other but he still brought him a coffee. 
EWEWEW
YOU DON’T THINK HE’S TRYING TO MAKE A MOVE
Padre!!: I don’t know. It sounds like it but Logan said they had a bit of a tiff in the texts.
... a tiff?
Padre!!: Like a small argument.
No I knew what it means, I meant it in a “omg you’re so adorable for describing a disagreement as a tiff”. 
Padre!!: I want to joke around Ro but I am a little worried about him. He acted fine after the coffee and he said they didn’t talk. It just seems like such a weird thing to do! I’m worried Remus would try and pull something. This sounds exactly like how all those stories you tell begins. 
Lo’s not an idiot. 
He’s a nerd. 
There’s no way he would fall into his trap. He’d let us know if something wasn’t right. 
Padre!!: Good point.
I’ll be home in like 5 mins. I’ll run.
Padre!!: You don’t have to Ro.
Padre!!: I’m just overreacting.
Padre!!: Ro?
Padre!!: You better make sure you’re still looking both ways even when running!
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hi, im so excited for your matchup event!! if its not too much trouble, id like a male matchup please.
top 3 traits:
i’m really good at academics which is helpful bc i want to become a med student and doctor eventually. success in my career is my greatest and arguably most important motivation
introvert who sometimes enjoys hanging out with friends but that rarely happens. idk if it’s because i get social anxiety from being around people, especially new people, but i don’t enjoy it and i’m always super aware of my actions/appearance and i rarely speak. my voice is naturally quiet so that doesn’t help either (i’m a leo surprisingly)
i’m a very agreeable person but that might just stem from my fear of disappointing people. i have a hard time saying no and usually will prioritize someone else’s wants before my own
flaws
damn there’s a lot uh
the best way to hide any insecurities is to slap a superiority complex over them 😎
very little of my self worth comes from myself. it’s always academics, appearance, and others’ opinions of me that make up my confidence
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
but once i am attached, i suck at letting go and probably forgive more easily than i should
growing up, appearance was something i always struggled with so now i’m always super conscious of it. its probably not obvious at first because i love to say “oh the reason _____ happened is because i’m hot isn’t it” since i love projecting confidence and it’s so much easier to do that than actually self reflect on what im doing wrong
ANYWAYS, moving on 😀
likes:
caffeine (monster energy, coffee, whatever)
cats
the adrenaline rush from roller coasters
online shopping
doing makeup/planning outfits
sleeping at 4am
spicy stuff that hurt so badly to eat
grocery shopping
hanging out with friends in the middle of the night
dislikes
spending too much time outside
loud people (sometimes)
public speaking
my glasses
bugs. i don’t care if it’s a butterfly- those are just normal bugs with pretty privilege >:(
having bad skin/not wearing makeup
DEHYDRATION. i literally drink 11 cups of water a day
turnoffs:
being rude to waiters. that’s a one way ticket to getting ghosted
clinginess. i need time to myself sometimes and i really hope my partner would understand that
too much commitment. i’ve been told i love you after talking to someone for 2 weeks (apparently they’ve known me for longer but that’s a different thing entirely) we no longer talk
any use of the 🥺 emoji especially when paired with “haha yeah i get why u don’t like me. no girl likes me. i guess nice guys finish last” 🤢🤢🤢🤢
hobbies:
logic puzzles
baking
spotify playlist making
candy crush type games
exercise
any type of self care
reading random, specific stuff. for example, i got super into the language of flowers before
there’s a lot uh
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thank you so much for doing this!! i appreciate all the time you put into writing, to make people smile, and i look forward to anything you come up with!!
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I Match You with Shirabu;—
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When I read your first trait, I already thought about Shirabu, and the more I read, the more your compatibility grew!
Shirabu is extremely academically intelligent and plans to become a medical student as well! His intelligence is always overlooked due to his peers and their volleyball talent, but it’s canon that’s he’s the only one of them that got in Shiratorizawa without a sports scholarship. I doubt he’ll be with someone that isn’t academically gifted.
Again, he’s also introverted, just like you! He does get along with people and all but he prefers sitting in his dorm and studying, education is very important to him after all.
Though Shirabu may seem as a rude person and someone that doesn’t care, that’s far from the truth. The only person he’s mean to —at least outwardly— is Goshiki, he’s very well mannered and respectful to his other peers. That being said, he’ll never joke about your appearance even if he clearly doesn’t mean it, he thinks you’re gorgeous and wouldn’t want you to think otherwise.
He’ll be disheartened to know how you actually feel about your appearance, even though he had a hunch judging by the way you constantly try to make it seem as if you’re confident. He’ll send daily reminders to you, telling you how breathtaking you truly are and to never let anyone make you think differently.
I headcanon Shirabu as a cat father so he would love to feed into your cat addiction LMAOO. Just imagine you and Shirabu going to a cat cafe and petting the cute cats as they nuzzle into your palm. It truly is an adorable sight!
He’s mostly quiet so no need to worry about him accidentally giving you a migraine with his voice, it’s quite soothing actually! And he loves your glasses, he wears glasses himself and knows how insecure he feels with them so he tries to give you extra compliments whenever you wear them <33!
Concerning your deal breakers, Shirabu is literally the exact opposite of all that LMAOO! He’s aloof at times —he is soft for you in his own way though—, mannerly, and chill.
Once he finds out you like puzzles, he’ll buy many puzzles just for the two of you to solve— he purposely gets them difficult just so you would spend more time with him (my heart </33). Like the two of you holding small puzzle pieces trying to mix and match them with other pieces. He loves your concentrated face so that’s just a plus for him <33.
Overall, you and Shirabu are a seemingly distant couple but you’re the softest ever when you’re alone. You’re also intelligent as hell! Your future kids are lucky to have that gene running LMAOO😭😭.
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Author’s Note : HIII SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE, also tysmmm for making it organized, it was fun to match you <333 hope you’re happy with this result and thank you for your kind wordsss
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clumsyclifford · 4 years
Note
i would love to read a mashton fic based on vegas, which is an idea that has been in my head since you sent it in for the playlist! i particularly like the lyrics “from coast to coast, I’ll make the most / of every second I’ve been giving with this crowd, / without a doubt, you’re all I dream about” but i would be happy no matter what you wrote
right okay well i have plans to one day write a longer better vegas fic but im capitalizing on the fact that you sent me specific lyrics from the song and just writing around those lyrics so. for the moment this will have to be enough im sorry maggie u deserve more
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Michael loves performing more than most things.
There are certain people who take precedence — his band, for one, although that feels a little bit like cheating because his band are the reason he can perform — and his family, of course, and a case could be made for Niall Horan, and there are also a few things here and there — a chocolate milkshake at an American diner at three in the morning smack in the middle of the Northeast, the signed-by-Billie-Joe Father Of All… limited edition vinyl framed on his wall at home that’s been played exactly once, a proper pint from the bar they went to when they first arrived in London.
By and large, though, performing beats all. 
There’s an energy that is absolutely unmatched, and no matter how many times interviewers ask, Michael will never be able to put into words the way it feels to play to a crowd who are shouting your lyrics at the top of their lungs. Nobody would understand how it’s possible to get onstage feeling tired and grow more alive the longer you play, feeding off the ardor of the people, entirely detached from the usual concerns of whether or not you’ll remember how to play your part. Michael’s a good guitarist, but onstage he becomes something else, something fucking massive, a piece of something much bigger than himself.
The high lasts only for about a minute after he comes offstage, and then everything else hits him at once; the exhaustion, the sweat, all the notes he’d missed, the pounding in his head from the screams that are dulled but not deafened by the in-ears. They all crash at different times but they always crash soon after the show ends, and Michael’s usually first.
So there are a lot of reasons Michael doesn’t want to come offstage. And if anyone asks, he can offer a wide range of these answers, anything about the rush of performing, about not wanting to feel the weariness of the tour just yet, about feeling more sure about this show than anything in his life, and those wouldn’t even really be lies. They just wouldn’t be the whole truth.
Most of the reason why Michael loves to be onstage is the person sitting at the drum kit.
Ashton is twirling his drum sticks, effortless the way he always is during shows, a broad smile over his face while Luke sets them up for their next-to-last song. Michael takes the opportunity to tune up a little bit and watch Ashton. It’s one of his most favorite things ever, just to watch; he’d stare at Ashton forever if he could and still not have had enough.
Ashton glances up, catching Michael’s eye before Michael can look away, so Michael saunters over to the drums.
“How are you feeling?”
Michael gives a thumbs up. “On top of the world,” he says truthfully. His fingertips are buzzing with what could be electricity, and his guitar feels so light it could almost be floating. “You?”
“Same,” Ashton says, without faltering in his grin. “You’re sounding great.”
“You messed up a few times, but we’ll discuss it after the show,” Michael replies, smirking. Ashton flips him off. “I’m kidding. You sound awesome. Amazing. Like always.”
“Not always. I sound pretty bad sometimes.”
“Only when you’re singing in the shower.”
“I don’t sing in the shower!”
Michael holds up an air-microphone. “Sweet Caroline, bah-bah-bah!”
“That was one fucking time!”
“Yeah, and I’m gonna remember it forever, and laugh at you whenever I hear the song. So thank you.”
Ashton rolls his eyes; somehow he hasn’t stopped smiling, and in fact his smile is even wider. “You should probably get back to your station,” he says. “I think Luke’s stalling to start the song.”
As if on cue, Michael hears, “Oi, Mike! Is it social hour? Are we playing a show?”
Michael grins and winks at Ashton, then slides smoothly back to his microphone. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “Ashton and I were just plotting how best to destroy you.”
“We’re thinking of putting you on a cooking show,” Ashton puts in from his mic. Michael loves him so much.
The crowd laughs. Luke just rolls his eyes, fond and unable to be cross when they’re playing a show, when this many people are here just for them, to hear their music, and across the stage Calum blows Michael a kiss. He catches it in the air and presses it to his heart; Calum grins and gives him the OK sign with his fingers.
“Anyway,” Luke says pointedly, and then he carries on with the show, introducing She’s Kinda Hot with very little additional preamble, and Michael starts to play it — the riff had been hard the first couple of times but now he could do it in his sleep, so instead of overthinking every note, his eyes roam the crowd, several thousand — a number Michael doesn’t remember but is absurdly high — people here to see them, to see him, some who have put in countless hours listening to their album and making signs and buying merchandise from them already. Michael feels like he’ll burst from the love, and wonders if it’s coming from him or from them. Or if there’s even a difference. They love his band, but not as much as he loves his band.
Ashton’s solo is his favorite part of this song. Not because he has a crush on Ashton. Musically, it’s the most fun, and Ashton has a really great voice for it, and he likes the little call-and-response part, and, okay, also because he has a crush on Ashton and this is basically his free chance to gaze in wonder while Ashton sings.
When the solo rolls around Michael turns his body to watch Ashton, shamelessly drinking in the sight; Ashton, a bandana barely keeping back his sweat-soaked hair and a glistening sheen of perspiration all down his face, neck, and arms, muscles tensing as he plays, tank top sticking to his chest. The lights from the stadium reflect strangely off his skin, giving him a gleaming aura that has Michael blinking sight back into his vision. 
Ashton is everything. He really, really is.
Halfway through the solo he catches Michael’s eye for just a second, and Michael doesn’t look away, caught up in the moment. Ashton smiles so wide his face could break from it and Michael feels that smile right down to his toes. The warmth stays in his chest, unbroken, untouchable.
They stumble off-stage, all four reaching out for full water bottles before they have to go back on for the encore. Michael’s off last — he’s standing farthest from where they come on — and the three others are already gasping out breaths between long chugs of water as he takes his own.
“Well, you all sound terrible, and I sound great,” Calum declares, one arm so tightly around Luke’s shoulders that Michael would be hard-pressed to try and separate them. Not that he’d ever feel compelled to. Ashton comes over and slings an arm over Michael’s shoulders, too, and Michael immediately squirms.
“Gross,” he says, “you’re all sweaty.”
“That’s how you like me,” Ashton says, pressing a kiss to Michael’s cheek.
“No PDA before we finish the encore,” Luke says loudly, pointing an accusing finger at the two of them.
“You’re just jealous that Ashton kissed me and not you,” Michael says. “Ashton, go kiss Luke. He’s feeling left out.”
“I don’t want to kiss Luke,” Ashton says, affronted. 
“I’ll kiss Luke,” Calum says. Before any of them can say anything about it, Calum pulls Luke’s face towards him and kisses him square on the mouth.
Luke looks like he’s been hammered between the eyes when Calum pulls away. “You’re such a sneaky little shit,” he says. “I have to go sing, you know.”
“I have to sing too!” Calum protests. 
“Wait a minute,” Michael says, feeling like perhaps he’s missed something. “How — what?”
“Does this mean I have to kiss you now?” Ashton asks Michael, a glint in his eye. “Because I’m not strictly opposed.”
“Stop it,” Michael says. “They just kissed!”
“They’re adults,” Ashton says.
“You’re not strictly opposed?” Michael says belatedly. “The fuck’s that mean? Are you for or against?”
“Shit,” Luke says, handing off his water bottle. “Gotta go back on. Encore time encore time encore time!” He races onstage, Calum in tow, and Michael groans.
“Worst band in the world!” he says as Ashton gives him one final, cheeky look before sliding away and returning to the stage. Michael follows after, playing the intro to She Looks So Perfect, which is as natural as breathing at this point.
The song goes well, and Michael remembers, having temporarily grown distracted, how fucking good this show has been, how the energy of the crowd is building up under his skin, making him practically vibrate with it despite the steady hands on his guitar. When the song ends, they take their bow and then head backstage. Michael finally takes a towel to wipe himself clean of sweat; the other boys do the same. Ashton gets two towels, because he’s always the grossest.
“So?” Michael asks, loping over to where Ashton is leaning against the wall, drying himself off. “For or against?”
“For or against what?” Ashton says innocently, but his face breaks into a ridiculous smile and he reaches to clap a hand around the back of Michael’s neck. “For, obviously.”
“Oh,” Michael says dimly, blood roaring in his ears. “Okay. Good. I mean, I hadn’t said for or against what, exactly. For all you know you’ve just agreed to my insidious plot to destroy the band from the inside or change our sound to EDM or something.”
“I’m in,” Ashton says immediately. “I’ll take down Luke, you get Calum.”
“I can’t take down Calum,” Michael says, forgetting momentarily that they’re not actually planning the downfall of the band. “He’s been my best friend for so long. I’m pretty sure that would be in violation of the bro code.”
“Okay, but taking down Luke wouldn’t?” Ashton asks, raising an eyebrow. “Fine. I’ll get Calum and you get Luke. Meet back here.”
“Wait, hold on,” Michael says, and picks back up the thread. “We’re not actually plotting the band’s destruction. You were going to kiss me, I think.”
“Was I? I don’t really recall.”
“You were. You said you were for it.”
“I believe my words were not strictly opposed.”
“You said for, obviously, like twenty seconds ago. Like literally twenty.”
“Hmm,” Ashton hums, tipping their foreheads together. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Ashton gives his biggest smile yet. Michael feels the corners of his own mouth tug upward to mirror it, and Ashton leans in, presses a gentle kiss to Michael’s lips, and pulls away. Michael’s buzzing all over, head full of AshtonAshtonAshtonAshton.
“Oh, hmm,” he murmurs, a little speechless, midway between the adrenaline high of the show and the total post-performance crash. Heavily leaning into Ashton, he says, “I’m gonna fall asleep in like five minutes but we will definitely continue this when I’m not about to be dead on my feet.”
Ashton pats his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m not strictly opposed to that.”
Michael smiles and decides: there are few things he loves more than performing, but Ashton Irwin is one of them.
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bangtansfavwriter · 4 years
Text
🌷hobi having a crush on you 🌷
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-hobi and you were inseparable, and when I say inseparable I mean it
-he introduced you to all of his friends and everyone knew you guys became a package deal
- he loooves spending time with you , which would already be a dead giveaway bc hobi's a really social guy, so him choosing to spend his time with you so often would already say a lot
-very playful and spontaneous, looots of laughter together
-you guys' favourite thing to do together would be karaoke and the two of you would put some singers to shame bc singing - check - dancing - audience wildin' and partying to you two - check bc the whole neighbourhood knew you by now and people would leave their own booth at the bar to come and watch you two (which would turn to spontaneous parties that would be absolutely legendary (and the place would be so packed that even dispatch would be like fuck no we ain't goin in))
-you'd come to watch bts' dance practices sometimes and just sit there and watch this completely different side of hobi come out
- he dances with such a passion that you can't do anything but watch him in awe, completely enthralled by the way he moves
-this was also something that made you fall for him slowly, you loved the fact that he was absolutely passionate about everything he does and puts his energy in
-and you admired him so much, bc he was still humble about his talent & also this innate ability to light up every room he walks in
- you almost felt like icarus trying to bask in the sun and sometimes felt like your feelings for him may get you too close and you would get hurt
-and whenever you would get into that mood, it would be hobi himself to snap you out of it, unknowingly
"hobi, there's no reason for me to come to the christmas party, you guys are like family, why would i be there?"
"nonsense, you're family, too. i want you to be there." ---and that's it, that's how he handled your moods, he always made you feel cherished and most importantly loved--
- he would play with your hair a lot and would be very touchy in general, the supreme method to shut down hobi.exe would be playing with his hair, he'd legit lay down and and go quiet, but chances are he's gonna fall asleep (and boy would he get cranky when you wake him up)
- he'd love to make you laugh and sing lil songs and do lil dances for you when you would make tea or something ("look it's y/n, making tea for mee, hobiii~, this sure looks like chamomile, chamomile is just my style, my legs are so sore, I'm gonna go lay on the floor..."*his voice fades* - "u ok there hobi?" - *weak* "no..") [btw chamomile tea helps with sore muscles ☺️]
- his spontaneous dances would be the best, he'd drop it to maluma and lowkey get emotional when you'd turn on some flamenco songs ("y/n, i should be a flamenco dancer, this music speaks to my soul" - "whatever you say, horacio" )
- he would sometimes give you very obvious signals:
"oh we're both wearing jean jackets, almost like a couple look hmmm~~~"
"you cooked for me ?? caring for me, like we're a couple hmmm~~~"
"look at us sharing our drinks like we're a couple hmmm~~~"
-and tbh, you guys would be the couple that has no idea that they're a couple bc you never truly established something along that lines
-but you truly liked him, after all, he's mr sunshine, with the most generous heart and boy's got the prettiest side profile you've ever seen (you knew you were whipped when you went for drinks with a friend and ended up being an emotional drunk who gushed about hobi's lil nose)
-hobi always gets shy when u praise him and you're like "BOI I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY LONG" and he'd go "noooo stop" and backflip to the other side of the room bc he got shy again but he secretly loves it (honestly, it would lift his entire mood, to a hyper extent.... one day you didn't have the time to stay for their dance practices and met hobi shortly before they started, to say bye and such, and you encouraged him to be strong, bc you knew how tough the new choreography was, and told him "you, horacio, dancing king of my heart, can do this, now go prove your title or I won't make you any pancakes for a week" and he SCREAMED in joy & spun you around like 3 times and sprinted to the practice room, you got one (1) single text from jin at 02.17 am, which you opened, confused at hell, it just said: "idk what you said to hobi before practice but you owe me a spa weekend for the muscle pain i have rn")
-but hobi is only human too, he also gets into low moods, which you help him through by simply not going anywhere even when he detaches himself from you and everyone else for that matter
-you knew he had to recharge and gave him some space without entirely distancing yourself from him ofc, you guys would still text tho from time to time
-you knew that he had practice again and one day you stopped by with some food you prepared for him and gave it to a staff member to pass it to hobi, bc you didn't want to intrude, and hobi would text you back a pic of the empty lunch boxes you packed for him with a caption like this: "👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻💗💖💝💓💞💕🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️" (hobi talk for "you are and angeeeel, i loooove you & thank youuu") and you were happy with yourself and happy for hobi bc you knew this would cheer him up
-he came over to yours like 2 days later and your heart ached a little bc he was obviously exhausted but still shot you a smile when you opened the door
- you pulled him inside and hugged him, neither of you spoke a word, hobi just sighed and buried his face in your neck
- he came inside and you made tea for the two of you and prepared some snacks too and you caught him looking at you a few times, but his gaze was different... you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and just thought that's it's probably just random and that he's tired, since he also didn't speak a lot that evening.. anyway you chilled in front of the tv and had a night in, which he gladly accepted because his legs were so sore he wasn't even sure if he could leave your place in first place
-so you spread out on one sofa, while hobi layed down on to the other one
-whenever you weren't looking, hobi stared at you with the most smitten look on his face, especially when you'd giggle about some scene in the movie you were watching, and unable to contain his feelings for himself, he'd flat out tell you:
"you know, if there wouldn't be a risk of me face-planting onto the floor, I'd be on that couch and kiss you"
- he couldn't quite tell if his words made your face go red or if it was bc of your near-death experience after choking on your nachos when korea's dancing king told u he wants to smooch
(-"you ok now ?"
"yeah, alive and kicking"
"good bc- don't eat that now- I have plans for us 👀"
"maybe I do too 👀👀"
" 👀👀👀")
however, you decided you should talk this out when both of you were less tired
- but you didn't... bc hobi was busy again
- days had passed and hobi didn't say a word which was really disheartening for you bc after that kiss-statement you really thought you would finally clarify what was going on between you two and talk about dating and stuff, so you mustered all your courage and texted him: "hey, i know ur busy and all, which is why im gonna keep it as short as possible.... hoseok, i wanna talk about what you said to me the other day and i know this could potentially change our friendship forever, but i liked you for a while now and I wanna now if you were just joking around back then or if u actually were serious"
-the next hours would be absolutely agonizing for you bc deep down you truly feared that this may ruin your friendship with him, but you needed clarity, even though it was really clear that he liked you, but you weren't sure how and asked yourself if you may have read too much into his actions and words.... you threw your phone on your bed and tried keeping yourself busy with something that would keep you from looking at your phone. you failed miserably tbh and you were contemplating deleting the text the entire time... "this is so stupid, I can't risk this..." you thought and were about to open the messenger to delete your text, when you saw that he texted back....: "you never call me hoseok" (you had to took deep breaths to calm yourself down or you would probably have stormed into bighit and throw your phone at him)
- you: "this is really all you have to say ???? "
and he texted back shortly after and you were like oohhh, im gonna grill jung hoseok now
him: "well you never call me hoseok, so I guess this is very serious to you"
you: "yeah NO SHIT sherlock, i confessed my feelings for you and this is how you answer me ?????
him: "im serious too, don't be like that!"
you: "well how tf should i know if you're serious or not??"
him: "you could open your door and find out"
-to use the word "dumbfounded" for how you felt the second you read that would be the understatement of the century, you threw your phone away and bolted to the door
-and there he was.. standing there and smiling at you as radiantly as ever
- he held a plush in one hand and playfully waved at you with the other the other, in which he was holding his phone. he gave you the plush and laughed at you bc you still were completely baffled, but you started laughing too
- you: mang beats any flower anyways.. (you took the mang plush and put it on a rack by the door)
him: yup! and why buy flowers when you have me? *does the flower pose*
- you: you're unbelievable, jung hoseok
him: ohh full name now, it's getting very serious ~
you: stop teasing!!
-you felt that you were blushing and turned away from him, still unable to hide your smile. hobi laughed while he quickly stepped through the doorway, just in time to grab your wrist and make you face him again. "look at us, y/n, playfully bickering like a couple hmm~~", he said and gave you a smirk that made your knees weak, but you'd be damned if you'd show him that. So you looked him straight into his eyes with a cocky smile and asked: "anything you wanna ask me, jung hoseok?"
"you don't even know what you do to me with that smile of yours, sweetheart..."
"answer the question, jung hoseok."
"look at us us, flirting like a couple hmm~~"
(you didn't even notice how close you two were standing until there were only a few inches between your lips and his)
"I'm waiting", you whispered.
"i really think... ", he began and gently cupped your face meanwhile... "i really think that we should be a couple" he said and finally closed the little space which had remained between your lips.
162 notes · View notes
randomliven · 4 years
Text
WARNING LONG POST HEAVY SPOILERS
Episode4. Play back rewatch
*Open scene Montrose
*Drinking. Going through the memories of his mind
He drinks and still he remembers it all
*God Smites Eve
*2:12 "Give this to tic protect our family" GEORGE
*The Order of the ancient dawn
*You might be all Tic has left
*"Smells like Tulsa
*Bitcx better have my money
*Christina glides through cars
* Black arrow (nods it off)
*leti was ready
*Bitcx tried to walk in like she own the place
*the protection spell works 'akirum
She seemed impressed and snide
*your money (leti realizes where the money came from
**L: "You want something in this house. Something to. do with Atticus"
**Ct: "Dont let the men fool you into thinking its Always about them. "
**His blood may have power but thats only because itus spelled it that way. Hes Not Special. Not really
Christina is a Snitch
*"If he keeps operating like this hes going to get you killed "Again"
(she looks sincere) (im telling yall xtina did this before)
* "I dont want that. Or this house. I just want the orrery"
(To discover a world of first) (chritina dont lie withold yes)
You can get the Fuck up off my Porch
Call me
*Hippolyta calls her daddy... She has the Orrery
She smart as hell
*The new comic diana drawing..outta this universe
Moves and predicts the relative position of planets
*leti tells tic about tina paying for house
*Tic with holds information from leti
*knows tina used tic to kill father
tic was go kill her then just leave
Lil boy with Coke bottle glasses ( just like tic but not tic
*two sets of pages still exist
*the orrery is the key
(using the orrery to go into another world to find his pages)
Titus kept it hidden
*Casting spells to protect
*ask ya daddy " i dont want yall involved"
(Sound like his daddy when they saved him)
They in the back
Every time i tell you to do something yo do the opposite
*" how you kno its 34 lodges"
*"I cant help you kill yourself. You cant see this game she is setting up for you to play"
(Montrose and Christina have done this before.. I cant wait till the final. I need to kno)
*"Looking for answers you already have"
Boston
*"I know where to find that dame vault"
Christina plays hide and seek for the first time
Christina screaming "Im safe."
The police arrive for her to take her to ...
Lancaster
*She didnt mention leti being in the house specie or tic
Says convince "hyrum"
*she knows there is someone in the closet right away
*xtina says time machine
* " let "negros" move in..(vs niggers) cocky
Take my lodges
*did i miss your initiation into the order..
No cunts allowed
The silent fight
Let go. You told me to let go
Hyp suspicious
It so happens to be at a astrology museum
Tree
Ruby walks into Marshal fields
"Work like kobe just to shine like Russel"
Sees Tamara
"Yes yesterday"
"I applied on a whim"
Boston
Lights of the universe
Leti's face watching rose go with the guard
*"u kno y they call me tree"
"Shouldnt i already kno that since we fuc in highschool simore" rolls eye at that liar
True story: Harriet chariot
*MY MAMA NAMED THAT COMET
*Many artefacts Titus was giving in exchange for striping away everything they knew
(Stolen after killing, probably raping and enslaving the native people)
*tree hints at Montrose being gay to tic
Tic questions how mon knows the guard
The vault
*Christina pulls up goes around the gate
(William comes out 30seconds later, yes we kno the skin change happens in seconds seeing ruby change, BUT HOW IN THE HELL did xtina put on a whole suite down to the tie that quick)
Do they not kno william cuz then lancaster wouldnt have known it wasnt xtina when he dies.
She kick they ass
*William says i have a Date
Find a way to open it
Montrose finds the moonlight
How old is this museum
*"This is some journey to the center of the earth type shit"(name of book coke bottle kid in library was reading)
3tunnels
Ever the tide shall rise
Map of titus voyage's..
No telling Letitia fuc N lewis No
Dont help me
Yellow
*Based on adventure novels the tunnels should be based on the map.
*How you know he raided Diana
"I read a damn book
*1810 it was built
Established the sons of Adam 3yrs later
*Whats down the other tunnel?
The lantern being there
Ruby drowning her blues away to a half empty bar
Is copper considered a yellow
Voluptuousness
*I cant afford another one
Blues eyes got ya tab tonight
*A nod. A gulp
*"May i join you?" They dont sit
Keep my glass full"...
*Yall white boys dont come to the dark side for modesty (demanding woman
* i can buy my own drinks ( pride)
Take a bit more to impress me White Boy
*Never insult you to make you a kept woman
* promise me the world to lay with me
*a promise i can keep
(All she needs is the orrery & she literally can give Ruby Many worlds)
The way they look at Ruby
*20min of walking
Walking the plank
Tic brave
Tf me 1st
Learned how to lie
*juneteenth
* "FREEMEN WERE NEVER SLAVES"
She out there
Spider senses
Tic has training
Booby trap
Big fucking deal
The bored starts to disappear
Jump pop
Better catch me Boy. (I got ya kid)
Now they can run shuffle
Montrose knows the combination
Jessie owens
*The tide rising.. Less than an hr
Ruby "got there 1st, shoulda been me but i let Leti distract me"
They sat there all night
*"Whoes leti"
(i dont think Christina knew leti Nd Ruby were sisters before that moment based on willtinas expression
*"my half sister" (willtina Gulps (becoming a signature
* if i was in your skin i wouldnt even have to run"
*what to do about it?
William with them eyes.
*"Better stop looking at me like that, It Aint happening
White Boy"
I Put a Spell on You plays
Ruby want it
(Im more than sure this is Willtinas 1st time, also wonder if so as a woman. Possible leti was a virgin)
Willtina looked confused by the blood. Primal reaction
Ruby in control
William excited, whoa lip biting
The mark of Cain. Big Dic Energy
*" How you kno so much about the sons of adam?"
* george gave me the bylaws i burned it
My brother said protect the family. His dying wish
(Was to give Tic the book, but you cant tell Montrose what to do with his son)
Closing Pandoras box once Nd for good
You wont stop
*Leti finds the neighbors body who went missing
*Chicago to Boston 14hr drive
(They walk 20min to the plank maybe another 20 to yahima)
*sees elevator come down, looks familiar
*Epistien was apart of the order prob chasing the pages... He was missing an arm
This might get dangerous
*he was kidnapped. I Died.
*"not the center of the fucking universe"
Leti can swim too
*Fatherly advice
Ya mama was complicated too
*all that fussing is loving
*Epstein day look like he was missing an arm and like a drowned victim
I don't think Christina knew about the tunnels or at least she knew that she couldn't open them
Black folk dont watch bones come alive & just stare
*reaches. (Back the fuc up
* they have the same symbol on their stomach. The Regeneration spell
*yahima Woman man two spirit
*had no reason to distrust him
ALWAYS HUNGRY
*he killed them all (stole they shii) enslaved
Tic look like Will Smith as a fish in shark tail
*she dont know my spirit
Montrose Takes pages anyway (i think knowing booby trap)
. Grabs yama
*montrose drops the pages purposefully
Like damn leti. Grabbing for her
The kiss. The scream. The knockout
*how did they get back without woodie
*is that your dad's atlas
*devon county circled. Ardum reaper. Hyp makes a detour
*siren. Ill figure out how to help her talk
*"You were brave boy. Grew to be a good man spite me"
*he already had the plan
Damn montrose
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youngjaelook · 6 years
Text
Starless Sky — Jackson Wang
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author’s note — sorry this took so long! im working on a few imagines atm so please be patient for those hehehe. not my best work just fyi lmao. also i feel like i write too much GOT7, like not that its a bad thing, but i feel like i need to write about more groups u know what i mean ahsjdkksd anyways hope u guys like this imagine, again a big shout out to @fentitrbl ilysm thanks for being patient and so supportive! #UNEDITED 
This is part of a drabble series: Come Spring Day found here! and Yes drabble found here!
summary — Under a starless sky, you and Jackson welcome your first child. 
warnings  — miscarriage, & slight angst.
word count  — 1.5K
Jackson sits in an empty room. And each of it's four walls are painted yellow — yellow is meant to symbolize happiness, clarity. Yet, Jackson feels neither of those. In fact, he feels nothing at all; he feels hollow and cold inside.
At that moment, with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and tears in his honey brown eyes, he thinks he is Atlas; condemned to hold the weight of the sky forever. But its only been hours, yet it feels like eternity.
"Jackson," he hears your voice in his ear. "come back to bed." Like a stubborn child, he refuses with his silence, still on the cold floor, drinking his worries away.
He knows its wrong, he knows its hurting you more than it hurts him, but Jackson doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to say.
For the first time in a long time, Jackson feels hopeless, futile almost.
It's not until he hears you sniffle that he turns around to spare you a glance.
The moment your tears become to overwhelming, spilling from the brim of your eyes, Jackson has his arms around you, caging you with his body as he murmurs sweet nothings and incoherent apologies into your hair.
There's an unbearable feeling of guilt that settles into his bones, it bites and nips at the strings of his hearts when your sobs get louder, and your body shakes with sadness and fear. He feels the same way, though he will never get to experience your pain, the torture you're going through.
And as his lips press against yours tenderly, he wishes he could take all your suffering and hurt away.
"Please," your voice is soft, on the verge of breaking. "let's just go back to sleep."
Jackson follows you to bed with no sound. He has one arm around you, the pads of his fingertips brushing against the prominent bulge of your stomach, and it reminds him of the fate it brings.
As you both lay on top of cold, cotton sheets, Jackson speaks. "I don't want to lose you," he murmurs into the dim room. "nor do I want to lose a baby again."
You don't turn to face him, afraid that if you did, you'd worry him even more. You were more than aware that one of these days, your life would be at risk, along with your and Jackson's unborn child.
The faint memory of losing your child for the first time is clear as day in your head. It was April, and the flowers were starting to bloom and the birds outside flocked the trees, humming with delight in the spring morning. Jackson had been out of Seoul for the past few weeks, promoting some designer shoe brand in Italy.
You were four months pregnant, going on five in a matter of few weeks. You were already showing, and you, along with Youngjae, went out to buy a few maternity clothes because your clothes were starting to get a little too tight. And besides, buying new clothes isn't such a bad thing.
Youngjae was in the middle of suggesting to get this burgundy sweater just in case you ever got cold in the apartment, when you had felt it, the odd sensation of wetness dripping down the sides of your legs. "My water broke?"
Youngjae could only stare in horror.
Crimson dripped down your thighs like rain drops falling against a window. You don't remember much after that, you only knew Youngjae had called Jackson, who literally got on a plane the second he hung up the phone, and that you had lost a child.
The whole thing had been plastered on every tabloid, and Jackson's company had to do some major damage control. The headlines still haunt you to this day, you can only imagine what it's like for Jackson.
Nearly a year later, you and Jackson have been trying, and at first, when you had found out that you had fallen pregnant once again, the two of you were thrilled. Then after one specific trip to the doctors sent the two of you back five steps.
She had described in detail that this pregnancy would have complications and that you might have to have an emergency C-section if your child wouldn't dilate in time. She also reminded the both of you that, you wouldn't only lose the child, but that there was a high possibility that Jackson would lose you, too.
"You won't lose us, Jackson." Your sweet voice doesn't do much to calm the racing of his heart, instead it crushes him and sends a shot of hot electricity through his veins. And the sound of your voice is haunting him as you fall asleep beside him, and as the sun rises from behind the hills.
The days don't get easier as they pass.
Trips to the hospital are a constant, so are sharp pains in your belly. Jackson, instead of being supportive and staying right beside you, has grown distant and detached, only ever talking to you when you ask a question, or when you suggest names for the baby, other than that it's just silence and shrugs.
It's nearly half past eight and Jackson's side of the bed is empty and cold, and you don't even wonder where he is because you know he's in the nursery, sulking like always.
You want to empathize with him, but he's making it so hard for you to even feel one empathetic bone in your body. He doesn't acknowledge how difficult it is for you, only ever thinking about himself and how he feels.
Your blood boils, while tears blur your vision.
You throw the sheets off of you, and practically march to the nursery, ignoring the pain that shoots up to your stomach.
Jackson stands in the middle of the room, this time, no bottle of alcohol in hand. He just stands there, lustrous brown eyes admiring the yellow paint, the soft cashmere blankets draped over the rocking chair by the corner, the blank picture frames hung above the crib.
You're opening your mouth to speak, but there's a ringing in your ears, and you can't hear yourself.
"Jackson —"
It all happens so fast, blood spilling down your legs, Jackson screaming your name, your knees crippling.
Jackson is sure he's never moved so fast in his entire life. He grabs the bags by your bedroom door, his phone in hand while the other keeps you steady as he guides you to the passenger seat.
He's driving above the speed limit and he's thanking God that there's barely any cars on the road tonight.
"Just breathe, baby," he reaches over the console to hold your hand, half of him expects you to swat him away and curse him out for being practically the worst partner in the world, but you take his hand without hesitancy, with no traces of bitterness and resentment evident on your face. You take his hand and bring it to your lips.
He gets you to the hospital in ten minutes tops. He's rushing you to the emergency room, a trail of blood following you wherever you go.
There a group of doctors and nurses that rush to get you on a wheelchair, and Jackson can only watch as you yelp in pain. As they whisk you away, Jackson has flashbacks of the last time this had happened.
Everything was different back then, the two of you were nervous, sure, but you were ecstatic none the less. Jackson had the nursery all planned out, the baby's name, he even thought of who the baby would look like the most and of course, he said the baby would look like him. Then when the time finally came, and you pushed for the last time, no cry could be heard, just panicked mumbling and shouts to get the baby into another room.
You never got the chance to see your baby before it breathed it's last breath, you just watched helplessly as they rushed to resuscitate it.
Jackson's scared that history might repeat itself. So, as he waits for nearly eight hours with his head between his knees, praying to every and any god out there to bless him.
The sky is still dark outside and there are no stars to be found when they finally call him in to the room. There's a small smile on the nurse's face, but that does nothing to stop the rapid beating of Jackson's heart, or the profuse sweating of his hands. He's worried, overthinking things until his head spins and he can't breath properly.
Then as the doors open, and he spots you on a hospital bed, a bundle of white in your arms, he turns into a blubbering mess.
Jackson is careful while he gathers you in his arms, finally at peace with himself and the universe as he stares at his daughter. "My princess," he whispers.
He kisses you softly on your temple, and smiles against your skin. "I think she looks a lot like me, right?" He jokes, and you're surprised you find energy to even laugh a little.
"Jackson-ah," you whine.
Jackson kisses your forehead again, and chuckles. "I'm kidding, baby." he says. "She looks a lot like you."
You frown. "It hasn't even been an hour Jackson, she still looks like a potato."
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Hmm the universe is really testing me fuck. Money money money u guess that's the focus now. Now I def can't move out not yet. Fuck. Why is my mom so selfish fuck if she had if waited a month and payed her part of the bill we wouldn't be in this situation ugh FUCK why ugh fuck I feel overwhelmed it isn't fair that everything is happening right now I'm gonna have to drop like all my money into the power again and water like fuck I'm terrible with money and shit but why are my parents worse then me????? Now everything I planned for has to be delayed again while I help them deal with this mess. Fuck FUCKKK I'm not even mad just sad like it's like they forget we have little children around. Food, power, water WiFi kids shouldn't have to worry about bills! Or that the basic utilities might not be around. This def is gonna take me over the edge I'm just so frustrated. No I can't get too fucked over all of this. I just gotta pick up more shifts and do what I haven't to do. I've had to pull money and solutions out of thin air before I can help fix this. You know what's funny this was in the reading I had. More burdens and responsibility will be put on me. I've been saying for a while now that I've reached a lvl of control on myself emotions and it's now being tested. Just gotta dig deep and do what's needed. This year was already predicted to be hard for me. That the change I want to see will be something I work for. From the jump tho 😂 the universe don't wanna play around ugh. Okay I gotta make whatever I make from this chart reading last for a bit and whatever I get from this check last too. I got whatever impulsive selfish buying I needed out of me the past December so now I should he good. Though I really wanted to buy a part with this paycheck it gotta go to food. Okay nah it's not all that bad tbh I'm just like overwhelmed so as long as I take it slowly and do the small things I'll work through it just puts a delay to what I want to do fuck. I still gotta wait for a call from avalon so I can start doing my counselling to get over the fucking rape, take extra shifts at work, pay the bills and really really be easy on myself. I'm trying and if I bully myself I'll fuck it all up. AA much as this news suck I'm happy I can finally release these emotions. I just want to curl in bed and do nothing but smoke and listen to music. I feel alone but I know I'm not I just gotta reach out I know that. This is gonna be a hard month but January is never east. I'm nappy batman been coming in my room in the mornings cause waking up to him purring is so soothing. I need to do a face mask and get ready for the reading. I still got a couple more signs to work through before I can head to her place. I got two more charts to draw up then I'll take a break from charts. Astrology has lost its charm a bit but I enjoyed meeting with people and taljjh about it with them. Oh what's soooo fucking funny is how everyone is bothering me now. Like all the people I left on read told that I don't wannabe hang around them or talk suddenly hits me up. You know I never believed the saying that they always come back but they literally do! Just leave me alone I can't stand men right now Jesus is the only one I'd even want to connect with. Hmm maybe it's because I feel weak right now that they hit me up now. If I was back to my old destructive says I'd prob respond cause I been feeling really lonely all I wanna do is have someone hug me do I can like cry and just like dump all my emotions out.I forgot how sad I actually am. Inside me just lives this very disappointed sad girl. But I gotta take care of her. All those crusty men just want to take from me anyway and I been knowing that. I hate when people fake care when all they want is some pussy honestly the fact that they hitting me up is making me so mad. I'm blocking then fuck them nah honestly the audacity. It ducks cause since the city not the biggest I know they see me travelling frim work and shit I'm so happy I got these headphones cause no ond wanna talk to me. I'm so mad abd the funny thing is most of them think im crazy ! It's so funny I'll be trying to idj treat them like a person and have conversation and they call me crazy for not assuming I don't wanna fucj! They're the crazy ones not me. I'm over here trying my best to live a good life and they like ugh I'm deading this right now. I'm not wasting my energy on it I've already wasted enough just writing about it. Okay I feel better. I know what I gotta do so imma do it. I feel the heaviness lifting. Good. When I get back I'm gonna do an inventory of my finances abd see what I'm working with. Capricorn gonna whip me into shape. I got until November to shoe the universe what I can do. I can do this I can handle it I might cry about it the ENTIRE way but I'm gonna get through it. I'm grateful everyone I love is alive and safe. I have a job that I can work at that I kove,peope who care about me and I'm alive. Be present be grateful be hopeful. A quick fuck you to that white boy who ruined new years for me and fucked with my gig. I hope he gets his karma abd regrets EVER fucking putting something in my drink. I'm so mad I even gave a window of oppritubity for it to happen. Never again nah I'm so mad a bit at myself for looking away for asec but mostly at the dumb ass who couldn't get me unless he had me unconscious. I'm ma's that I gotta deal with this. I'm mad that this happens to women and it happens often. In mad that my friends are all going through it. I'm just fucking mad I gotta be so on gaurd with people and I'm mad that people get upset when I'm cautious. I wish I didn't have to be so closed abdsuspicioys like I want to be trusting and kind abd soft but I can't! Only NY friends get to see that side because they would never try to hurt me. I don't deserve all this fucking nonsense but too bad thats bit how the universe works. Ugh htddgfrthhgddryyyrrguh I gotta charge my phone and do my face mask. Lmao my face a mess rift now! Gotta get cute before I go see Angarad. Such a pretty name I bet she's pretty too. I night of astrologyyessir. I wish I could just sleep tgo :-; I Jeep having terrible drereajs I can barely memba but I wwake up on high alert abd mad. Anywaysss
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