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#im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao
boxwinebaddie · 2 months
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Hi Uncle Nina !!
I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs
As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is
And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans
Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡
- Stan 🧡
hi orange heart stan! <3
it's so good to hear from you, baby.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)
but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/
my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.
which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.
i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs
and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah
but now, w/o further ado...
please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333
for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.
i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.
and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.
which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....
speaking of:
so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )
-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --
and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.
and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...
AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.
ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.
and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.
i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.
but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3
me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)
stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.
kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.
raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,
...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it
jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.
if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him
i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')
and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(
but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.
but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333
-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen
p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)
#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME#I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR#KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!!#you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors#i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best#i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan#and the mango loco one is actually raven#like thats just the right answer#ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god#him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that#i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul#but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old#theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me#BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE#TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA#also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me#and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love#but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me#me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others#but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically#im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao#but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH#also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors#when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions#live fast die young bad girls do it well
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
Text
Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 2)
Tony Stark x son!reader
warnings:
a/n: had to split it into 2 parts bc i hit the text limit dhshaggags
prompt: continued
part 1
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~sokovia was ur first big mission~
“why is y/n here, stark?” -cap
“the first mistake was letting me become a father”
“good god, tony...”
you having the time of your life crushing robots
“WHEEEEEE”
also proving useful by saving avengers a handful of times
“thanks for the assist, stark clone” -clint
rip pietro
rhodey was actually the most worried about you if we’re being honest, he didn’t understand why they let you in this one???
“y/n? y/n, talk to me! are you alive?”
“yes, uncle rhodey! i’m perfect, stop worrying!”
“i love you, kid! be safe!”
✨a good family you’ve got✨
soon the avengers broke up bc your dad cant get along with steve and it was just really awkward
but you chose your dad’s side
“sorry, steve! he pays my allowance!”
peter was actually a little okay, you know!! spazzy at first, but he was cool
“dude, you’re y/n stark! you’re tony stark’s very own son! i’m talking to mr. stark’s only child!”
“yep, that’s me. i’m what earned tony the title of ‘DILF’”
teenage teamup? ofc
“am i doing alright?”
“looking a-okay, pete!”
tony was worried fighting steve would traumatize you so he made you wait at the hotel with happy and peter
“don’t do anything to embarrass me, y/n. i dont want to see you on the news for something stupid”
you and peter ended up hanging out in your room and watching tv and ordering room service
“how do you do that so smoothly? i’d just freak out and go get it myself”
“years of experience as a spoiled rich brat”
absolutely positively being up all night and trying to fight your exhaustion
“you two seem to be getting along well. couldn’t be me” -happy
“for someone named happy, you never seem to be happy”
“not around teenagers, no”
“i remember when you loved me, ‘uncle happy’”
peter texted you every day after that
whenever flash picked on peter for “never meeting tony stark” he’d show a picture of you and him taking selfies in the lab together yes you invite him over much to the dismay of everyone else around you
plus tony was out of town and you were finally trusted enough to be left alone unchecked so like, happy would just leave at the first sign of peter
“that’s not real!”
“jealous?”
you actually showed up for homecoming on a dare (but in disguise)
didn’t wanna attract all the attention, you just wanted a high school experience
but you got called into avengers tower to help move early on :/ bad timing too cuz peter had to fight his first villain and u missed it
“dude, how do you feel?”
“bruh sound effect number two”
“oh my god”
FRIDAY heard him and pulled up the sound and you were WEAK you couldn’t stop laughing
“please....i think i broke a few ribs. cant laugh until tomorrow”
tony offered peter the avengers gig and peter said no, you were very disappointed but u understood that not everyone wanted to be in the spotlight like that
but you and peter obviously still hung out
oh, tony proposed! they interviewed you on sight!
“y/n, how does it feel to know that you’re going to have a stepmom soon?”
“you guys are aware that pepper helped raise me, right? right?!”
moving on, life was smooth for a while, there was some wedding planning, talk of you being a best man (which rhodey fought you on)
“no, i’ve known your dad longer!”
“i’m his son!”
i n v a s i o n
oh boy that was rough
bruce was surprised that you had fucking grown so much in the past 3 years good lord
“y/n...your VOICE”
“puberty, i know. when’s it gonna happen to you?”
“it hurts more when it’s from a teenager”
“uh, did you forget my birthday?”
peter’s back! peter’s back!
finally, man
“spider-kid, i could use an assist!”
“on the way!”
“aliens, why did it have to be aliens?”
up up and away for tony and peter, leaving you on the ground with all the earthly chaos and fear
“you two are the absolute worst, you know that? DAD, PETER, GET BACK DOWN HERE”
“no can do, kid. i—” *cuts off*
“oh great, no service on the space donut, huh? find a damn wifi password and call me back you asshole”
pepper was probably having a heart attack bc the news stations were having a field day but you were one of the only active avengers left, meaning you had to help clean this up
“bruce, we gotta get going”
“what? where?”
“upstate”
patching up the avengers as best as you could to take care of the threat
but you guys always win, this should be a cake walk, right?
wrong.
this was bad, very bad
after a lengthy battle with thanos in wakanda, you had failed. thanos got the stones, he snapped. the world was in ruins. but you didn’t get to see that part
you dusted away
“tell dad i’m sorry and i love him”
tony finally came back to earth hoping to see you, but upon seeing pepper’s face, he knew you were gone
“he did everything he could, tony! he didn’t deserve it!”
she was extremely upset, she saw you like a son of her own
soon, her and tony restarted their life and had a daughter, dad always wondered what it’d be like to have a little girl. it was different, it really was
she was eager to meet you
morgan stole pictures of you to hang up in her room
“when i meet y/n, im gonna give him a big hug! then we’ll have a tea party!”
tony has a picture of you and peter in the kitchen, he misses the two of you, but found comfort in the fact that you may be with each other
an ounce of hope, he had to try something
save his only son, and his other son
when he got to 2012, he was disappointed that he hadn’t let you become an avenger yet because he couldn’t see you here
yada yada he fucked up now he’s in the 70s and he fixed the fuck up and now hes in 2023
and bruce snapped
and you were all brought back and the way you kicked ass was inspiring
tony had to see his son now. right now.
“y/n, dear god! you’re okay! oh, man. i love you so much, kid. i missed you”
“i love you too. and i can’t believe you went to space without me, meanie”
“get over it”
ah, back to old times
peter and you obviously had to team up for this one! come on, what a story to tell!
and then, a snap and the warriors began to fade. you turned around and saw him on his knees
“no...”
you rushed over to where peter already was and tried to hold back tears, to be strong for him
“hey, dad. i’m here. no more missed goodbyes, okay? i’m here.”
you sat beside him and held his hand while the rest of your family made their peace with him and he finally slipped away
“y/n...are you okay?” -peter
“not even a little”
peter was worried about you, but you were worried about peter
mutual worry
meeting morgan was...surprising
pepper forgot to tell you they had a daughter while you were gone
she was so sweet and for the first month you lived at the cabin, she slept in your room
you got NO space
“i love you y/n”
“love you too” *thinking about dad bc she just reminds you of him so much*
“i love you y/n”
“love you too, morgan”
over and over
peter and you had sleepovers a lot, usually at his house bc you were the only one besides ned allowed over bc of all the spider-stuff
ned fanboyed over you
also sleepovers at peter’s were a nice break from being at tony’s cabin where you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t there
“y/n, i’m going to europe for a field trip! it’s gonna be awesome!”
“dude, you’re gonna love it. are you bringing your suit?”
“no, this is my offical vacation. no spider-manning”
“good for you, man!”
peter sent you all the pictures he took on his phone
all of them
Peter-Man: And this one is me and Ned in our crappy hotel room. And here’s the river. And here’s MJ covered in birds, and here’s the airplane, Mr. Harrington fell asleep on me
you had to come to europe once you heard what was going on
happy and you picked up peter and he was a mess
“you gave away dad’s glasses?”
“i think we’re past the point that i am not smart”
“jesus, peter. you should have called me about them. i would have taken them off your hands if you weren’t ready for them”
having to make sure that you guys didn’t get hurt bc this was honestly your guy’s first solo pair-up
there wasnt much backup here
finally, you defeated the evil (who apparently held a very large grudge against you. sorry mister beck) and were able to go back home
“call me if you need anything, pete”
“i will. i promise.”
and the next thing you know...peter’s identity was exposed
“i left him alone for one day!”
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //
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thisbrilliantsky · 7 years
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area secondhand fan explains: why there are five robins
OK SO: the first robin was dick grayson, romani son of trapeze pair "the flying graysons"- young (newly batman) bruce wayne witnessed dick's parents fall to their deaths as a result of sabotage, and adopted lil eight-year-old dick, who then (a couple years later??) became his protege/sidekick. and they were adorable and everything was dandy until dick was about eighteen and started wanting more Responsibility but bruce was like, nah son. so they had a Falling Out and dick left gotham and went to bludhaven where he became nightwing (after a therapeutic heart-to-heart with his buddy/mentor superman but that's another story). dick grayson is awesome and Good and Pure and loves his family so much ;-;
second robin: jason todd, abandoned, gutsy street kid - so bruce was being all broody and I Dont Need A Sidekick Anyway Dick Can Do What He Wants but then one night some punk kid tried to steal the batmobile's tires?? and bruce was like???? and the kid tried to fight him??? with a tire iron?? so bruce was like: Yes. He's Perfect. so he adopted lil 12yo? jason. and it was awesome and everything was dandy until three years later jason was trying to find his mom (his real mom - his abusive dad had abandoned him and his stepmom and they'd ended up on the streets and then she abandoned jason?? or something) and bruce let him bc reasons and he found her?? but she betrayed him?? idk exactly how it happened but the joker kidnapped jason and tortured him and then left him in a warehouse and then blew up it up. :((( and bruce was too late. so jason died at 15 and it was awful and bruce will never forgive himself. (and neither will dick......who had patched things up with bruce by now and was Older Broing it up with jason) BUT THEN (in at least one version of the story) somehow or other the league of shadows got a hold of jason's body?? and threw him in the lazarus pit and resurrected him. (another version has him coming back to life IN HIS COFFIN SIX FEET UNDER bc of some superhero science thing AND HAVING TO CLAW HIS WAY OUT ug h) and eventually jason turns up in gotham again as the red hood; and he's.....angry. and angsty. and just. he's mostly mad bc bruce didn't kill the joker. he captured him and turned him over to the authorities, but then he freaking escaped and that along with the fact of the third robin jason's like??? seriously?? i mattered that little to you?? ;-; im so sad
THIRD ROBIN: tim drake, genius and coffee addict, probably - so bruce was all I Am The Scum of The Earth I Will Never Take A Kid Crimefighting Again and being all broody and sad but then this 13yo kid shows up and is like, "hi, i'm tim, i'm 13 and i'm here to tell u what ur problem is" and bruce is like.....where are ur parents. "at home." what are u talking about. "i know that you're batman" ur delusion son. "no actually i'm not, here's a graph of how i figured out that you, bruce wayne, are batman, and that your adopted son, dick grayson, is nightwing (formerly robin)" ........what do u want. "i want to be robin" yeah that's not happening. "oh gee wouldn't it be A Shame if someone were to get a hold of this info........" are u blackmailing me, kid. "a little" are you kidding me. "no." why do u want to be robin. "bc batman needs a robin." .... "ur just a broody pair of fists otherwise, u know" SO YEAH tim convinces him to let him be robin and tim is actually a brilliant detective and everything is dandy for a while (if a bit tense......bruce kinda keeps tim at arm's length for a while, tho dick warms up to him p quick) and then jason shows up again so Drama happens and then??? tim's parents are murdered??? and idk. sad things happen and bruce ends up adopting tim and admitting that he'd always thought of him as a son AND ALSO tim leads the teen titans and is bros with superboy and a bunch of other teen heroes
OK NOW fourth robin: damian wayne, bruce's only biological child, smol and lethal, kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day - so APPARENTLY ten years before (??? when he was training with the league of shadows to get his Ninja Skills or something??) bruce had a Thing with talia al ghul, the daughter of ra's al ghul (the Big Bad Guy of the league) and unbeknownst to bruce, she got pregnant and had a son. bc they are the League of Shadows and are just Extra about everything, they basically raised damian to be a lil assassin and by the time he's 10 he's killed.......idk how many ppl. and he's a genius and an artist but?? his mom and granddad are super harsh as u might imagine. but he grows up hearing stories about how his father is this mighty warrior and worthy opponent and stuff and he decides he wants to meet him so he just?? turns up in gotham like, "Hello Father, I am the son u never knew u had, and I am here to prove myself to u but it's not like i need ur approval or anything, see I am completely competent on my own, in fact i am better than u, see how i effortlessly kill this thug (please love me)." and bruce is just.......lowkey horrified and highkey ????????? and it kinda goes badly bc bruce has this thing where he never kills ppl (see: not killing the joker even tho he murdered jason) and he's v strict about it and he doesn't have the time or the inclination to deal with a murder child. and he inadvertently crushes lil damian's murder heart. BUT dick is there and he's like??? bruce??? he's ur son??? and when bruce is still an emotionally constipated jerk about it dick takes damian under his wing (pun intended) and trains him in the Batfam Way. for whatever reason (i think bruce faked his death???) dick took on the role of batman for a while and damian became his robin. damian pretended at first that he was Above everyone and Didnt Need any training but he really is just a 10yo who wants to be loved and he actually has a really soft heart and he ends up becoming really close to dick (tho he continues to antagonize tim (now red robin) but NOT bc he feels threatened by him that would be ABSURD) and eventually bruce comes around and he and damian start bonding and so everything is dandy for a while bUT THEN stuff goes down and damian gets killed while protected dick. AND ITS HORRIBLE AND EVERYONE BLAMES THEMSELVES (including tim ;-;) bUT THEN talia and the league of shadows throws damian in the lazarus pit and resurrects him?? or something. he ends up in the pit somehow. and bruce comes to get him and he comes home and is robin again and he's become so into this whole "no killing" thing that he is now a vegetarian. and he loves animals. he adopted a cow. and a dog. and. he pretends to be so tough but he's really just smol and traumatized ;-; he wants to be good so badly and he's tRYING
and that's really all i can tell u about the Robin Legacy™ bc duke is p new and i dont actually know much about him :||
thank u for ur time~
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