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collapsedglasshouses · 5 months

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AN ANGEL FOR NOAH || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 11]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: Actions are followed by consequences... Noah and Jules will learn that the hard way.

WARNINGS: angst, mentions of death and mental health issues, swearing, more angst, have i mentioned angst?, angst

A/N: Oh my f-ing god, I can't do this anymore. In honor of the BMTH tour starting today, I thought updating this story was fitting. This is the second to last part of An Angel For Noah... I'm too cruel to my characters, what am I doing... I hope you like the new part. If so, consider reblogging it! Thank you! Also, this isn't fully proofread, i'm sorry :c (im not, my head was too full to notice any errors)

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747 @thebadchic @thescarlettvvitch @cookiesupplier

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

When Jules awoke, the light burned in her eyes. She barely managed to keep them open. It was a severe contrast to the warmth of Noah’s embrace that she was able to feel for an entire night. It took her a couple of seconds to notice where she was. But when she did, the realization hit her like a brick wall. She knew what was about to come and immediately felt nauseous. She wanted to go back. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and find herself back in Noah’s arms.

As she sat there in the white nothingness, she felt like she was dying over and over again. This was the end. Jules felt a lot of different feelings. There was a heaviness in the air, and everything around her looked too clean and empty. She couldn't shake off the mix of emotions inside her.

She thought about the night she spent with Noah, and it made her feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad because she knew they weren't supposed to get close like that, and happy because those moments were special.

Thinking about what happened, she felt a bit sorry for breaking the rules. She wished she could go back and change things, but it was too late now.

Missing Noah hit her hard. She wanted to be close to him, share more laughs, and just be with him. Even the bad moments were now everything she craved as long as she could see him again. The memory of his touch stayed with her, and she wanted more of those stolen moments.

In the midst of all these emotions, there was a warmth inside her that was hard to explain. It was more than just doing her guardian job; it was a deep connection that went beyond the rules. Noah had become a big part of her story, sometimes even reminding her of her living self.

As she sat there, she knew their connection was special but also risky. It made her feel love for a human, guilt for breaking the rules, and a deep sadness for what might not happen.

While waiting for her punishment to arrive, she couldn't ignore the feeling Noah left in her. It was a mix of love, guilt, and loss—a strong and special connection that painted the white room with the colors of a love that went beyond what was supposed to happen.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and immediately knew who it was.

“Jules.” Keaton spoke softly “We need to talk.”

Jules sighed as Keaton walked around her and sat down in front of her. He was still calm, as usual, but his eyes, usually filled with gentle reassurance, held a weight that mirrored the weight on Jules' heart.

Jules nodded, her eyes brimming with uncertainty. She had a feeling what was about to happen.

Keaton’s presence, normally a very welcomed feeling for Jules, now felt bittersweet. It took him a second to find the right words. “I know this is hard.”

Jules just looked at him with a plain expression. She knew he wanted to comfort her, but she couldn’t quite believe he actually knew how hard this was.

“I hate to be the one to do this to you, but-…” Keaton began but Jules was quick to interrupt him: “But you’re still doing it, Keaton.”

Keaton blinked for a couple of seconds. She was testing his patience with that sentence. “You know, you can’t really blame me for the consequences you have to face now, sweetheart.”

She noticed his slightly angered undertone, but she was to numb to properly correct herself. She knew it wasn’t his fault, but she couldn’t face her own mistakes. She couldn’t face her own bad decisions.

“I didn’t think you would go this far, Jules.” Keaton than claimed, causing Jules to raise her eyebrows. “You knew what was going on?”

“Not really… But I had a feeling when we last saw each other.” He explained, his tone becoming calmer again. Jules just nodded, waiting for her punishment with pure anxiety creeping up her veins.

“I know you formed this deep connection with Noah, but I wouldn’t have guessed how deep it really got.” Keaton explained, while Jules swallowed hard. It had in fact got so deep, she craved him with every cell of her body, holding on to bit of life she felt when she was near him.

On the other hand, the weight of guilt settled on Jules’ shoulders. Everything was about to slip from her grip.

“Keaton…” She finally cried out and let her head fall into her hands. “I just can’t.”

“I know, Jules. But you have no other choice.” – “I… I can’t let him go, Keaton. I can’t pretend those feelings do not exist.”

Keaton sighed, his gaze softening, while he took Jules’ hands into his, revealing her red eyes. "I understand, Jules. Emotions are powerful, even for us. But we have a duty, a purpose. The connection you formed with Noah is extraordinary, but it has consequences. This cannot continue. As you may know, there are no guardian angels happily together with their persons."

“Did it ever happen?” – “Of course, it did. It happens all the time, but it always leads to the same things.”

Jules felt a lump forming in her throat. "What are the consequences?"

Keaton hesitated before explaining, “You have little to no options, but we can give you these… One, you cut all ties to Noah. You will never see him again, nor be his guardian angel.” Jules’ eyes widened as she listened to her former guardian angel.

“Or…” Keaton sighed, already having this gut feeling Jules would choose to make her existence a living hell, “You can continue to be his guardian angel… But with strict restrictions. You won’t be able to make yourself attach to the physical world ever again… You won’t be able to make yourself visible nor move anything. You can’t just jump in front of cars or whatever.”

“And?” Jules asked when she noticed Keaton hesitated to continue.

“Noah’s memories are going to be wiped in each case. He won’t be able to remember a single bit of what happened between you two. He won’t remember anything.”

Jules felt a surge of panic at the ultimatum. The prospect of losing Noah was unbearable, yet the alternative was equally painful.

"I can't lose him," she pleaded, her eyes pleading for an alternative.

Keaton's expression saddened, and he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I understand, Jules. I truly do. Take your time making your decision… You're allowed one last meeting with him. Make it count."

Gratitude and desperation filled Jules' eyes. "Thank you."

With that, Keaton stood up from his place and walked away, leaving Jules alone with her emotions. Jules couldn’t shake the heaviness in her heart. A profound sense of sadness and brokenness washing over her. The weight of the consequences for breaking the rules weighed heavily on her shoulders, casting a shadow over the warmth she had felt with Noah. Keaton's comforting words didn't fully erase the ache in her heart.

The realization that their connection had to end, or at least be severely restricted, left her feeling a deep sense of loss. The warmth and happiness she had experienced with Noah now seemed like distant memories, clouded by the unchangeable future.

Her heart ached with the knowledge that she couldn't be with him the way she wanted. The thought of not being able to see him, share moments, or guide him as freely was like a painful knot in her chest. The love that had blossomed within her felt like it was slipping away, leaving a void that echoed with the sadness of an inevitable goodbye.

Despite Keaton's comforting presence still lingering on her, Jules couldn't shake off the feeling of being broken. The once vibrant connection between her and Noah was now at risk of being severed, and the prospect of living with the consequences of their actions haunted her. She felt a deep sorrow, not just for herself but also for Noah, who would lose the memories of their time together.

In the white room, surrounded by the aftermath of their choices, Jules couldn't escape the overwhelming sadness that settled over her, like a storm cloud ready to unleash its tears. And then she made her decision…

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains of Noah's room, eventually woke him up. With his eyes still closed, he reached to his left side but was met with emptiness.

His eyes immediately shot to his side where Jules had been laying the whole night. She was gone. He wasn’t surprised. He knew this was coming but he tricked himself into thinking it wouldn’t happen so soon.

For a moment, he laid there, grappling with the absence.

He couldn’t just let this go. He needed to see something to do so. So, when Noah stood up from his bed, he had a clear plan in mind.

The next couple of hours where filled with research. He hadn’t even had clear key words to search. All he knew was her first name and where it happened. Jules and New York City.

Noah was determined to find the answers he was looking for. He needed to know where her body was. He needed to see her grave to close this chapter.

He sifted through articles until he stumbled upon the one detailing the tragic incident that had taken her life. The life of his Jules. The weight on his chest intensified as he read about the accident, the pain evident in the words of the article.

Unable to contain the swirl of emotions, Noah ran a hand over his face. This became realer and realer with each passing second. She was dead, he was very much alive.

Suddenly, there was a knock on Noah’s door, causing him to flinch slightly. Quickly, he tried to close his tabs as he answered.

Nicholas entered his room and saw how Noah closed the last tab.

"Did I interrupt your private time or what is going on?" Nick joked while Noah noticed his own weird behavior.

"Uh… Believe me… It would be easier to explain if I said yes, so… Yes." He weakly smiled at his best friend.

Nick on the other hand just blinked. "I just wanted to ask if I should bring you a coffee."

Noah looked as his best friend for a second, trying to read him. He had known him for years. And right now he realized how much he had stressed him over the last couple of weeks. Nick had no idea what was going on, he was worried to his core about Noah. He knew Noah wasn’t doing well lately but he had never acted so sporadic as he did at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Nick." Noah exclaimed without answering his best friend's question.

Nick's eyebrows rose for a second, surprised at Noah’s statement. "For what?"

"For dragging you into something you weren’t supposed to be part of." Noah explained. Nick sighed and closed the door behind him, before sitting down on Noah's bed for a second.

“You know… The last couple of weeks kinda scared me, Noah.” Nick confessed to him with a worried expression.

Noah looked to the floor and started to think. Guilt began to creep up his veins. He knew, he could be difficult to handle but the last couple of weeks had been slightly too rough, even for him. He had been acting so out of character. All he wanted to do right now was telling Nick the truth, but he knew that it would make him sound even more insane than he already looked like. So, he said nothing…

Nick, in the meantime, tried to make Noah look at him. He knew something was going on in Noah’s head that he just didn’t want to tell and as much as Nick wanted to know what was going on, he didn’t try to ask.

“Can I do anything to help you?” Nick still asked his best friend, who seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

Noah swallowed hard. He had something he dearly wanted to do, but he wasn’t sure if he should ask is friend for such a weird request. It took him a minute to sort his thoughts. He knew, he needed to get closure as soon as possible, but was worried Nick would snap if he continued to be this way.

“I actually have a request.” Noah quietly breathed out, causing Nick to lean forward.

“I wanna go to New York City.” Noah than said. Nick blinked for a couple of seconds.

“Are you serious?” Nick asked, his eyes slightly widened, not knowing how to process Noah’s request.

“Dead serious.” – “You know, its like… On the other side of the country and we’ve just played their like… a month ago.”

Noah nodded.

For a second, Nick just looked at Noah. He didn’t even know what to expect anymore. Feeling the urge to rise from his seat and leave, he wanted to distance himself from the situation. However, a subtle tone in Noah's request managed to get through, planting a seed of responsibility within Nick. He knew he had to reconsider and acknowledge the significance that this matter held for Noah.

“Okay.” Nick exclaimed.

“Okay?” – “Yeah… Let’s look for the flights… Just the two of us.”

There was a subtle hope in Nick's heart that Noah's sudden desire to do something meant a positive change. He decided in that moment, if Noah wasn’t going to get better, he would take matters in his own hands. He needed to get Noah back.

For now, he just wanted to spend time with him, getting to know the situation that was going on better, even without Noah telling him.

They didn’t know exactly how they managed to do it but about ten hours later the two found themselves in the middle of New York City. It had been stressful and they had had little to no time to pack things, but right now they stood in their hotel room, both with a filled backpack and no clear plan in mind where to go.

At least, Nick didn’t know where to go.

“And now?” The bassist asked his best friend, who looked from left to right to find a good way to start their journey. It was already getting dark.

“Maybe… We can search for a restaurant after getting settled into our hotel room?” Noah requested, sounding as aimless as his best friend.

The small New York City restaurant they found themselves in, about an hour later, gave off a cozy ambiance. The lights were slightly dimmed, there were a lot of plants and a rustical brick wall with a lot of band pictures on it. The ambience was rounded off by the soft sound of 80s rock music. Noah and Nick sat across from each other at a corner table, the flickering candlelight casting a warm glow on the wooden surface.

For at least fifteen minutes, both of the boys just straight up stared at the menu. Noah was sure if another five minutes would pass without a dialogue, he would be able to memorize the dishes fully. They would be able to hire him at this point.

So, Noah decided to change that.

“You remember the last time we ate here?” He asked his best friend, whose eyebrows rose at his question. Nick wasn’t sure why Noah began to small talk with him. He knew Noah hated small talk more than anything.

“Sure… It’s been a year or two.” Nick quietly answered, before putting down the menu card. Noah followed his example and swallowed hard. The boys stared at each other for a second, before they silently agreed to just forget about the weird situation for a second. They both needed an evening of normality before the chaos would start again.

So, as they chose from the menu, they started sharing light banter about their favorite foods and recalling memories from past visits to New York. There was a fleeting sense that everything was returning to normal—the friendship, the shared laughter, the simple joy of enjoying a meal together.

Soon, the waiter approached, and they placed their orders. A basket of warm, crusty bread was set before them, accompanied by a trio of flavored butters. The clinking of porcelain and glasses blended seamlessly with the music in the background.

But the later it got, the less Nick could ignore the fact that they were in a city, on the other side of the country, for no apparent reason. In the midst of this apparent normalcy, Nick looked across the table at Noah, concern etched in his features. He could sense that something weighed heavily on his friend's mind. The subtle shift in the air hinted at the unspoken tension.

"So, Noah," Nick began, his tone gentle yet firm, "what's really going on with you lately?"

Noah's eyes momentarily flickered, caught off guard by the directness of his best friend’s question. He hesitated, his fork pausing mid-air above the salad. The comfortable illusion of normalcy shattered, revealing the underlying tension of unresolved emotions.

The restaurant seemed to hush for a moment, as if holding its breath, awaiting Noah's response. The ambient noise dimmed, leaving only the distant hum of the city beyond the window. Noah almost started to panic. He just couldn’t tell Nick. As much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn’t.

Nick's gaze remained steady, filled with genuine concern and a readiness to listen. The question lingered, inviting Noah to share the burden he carried.

“Nick… I can’t.” He breathed out, noticing how he wasn’t hungry anymore. For the last two hours he had just let go of his concerns, but now he was thrown right back into the chaos that was his life at the moment.

Nick held his gaze, hoping he would change his mind, but when he realized Noah was more silent than ever, he began to nod. “Okay.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to tell you… But so many things happened over the last weeks. I got to know so much about me. I need to get through this alone, Nick.”

“I hope you know, I’m here for you. Always, Noah.” – “Always.”

The next morning, Noah woke up at 6:17 am. He just couldn’t sleep anymore. Rolling from one side to the other. His thoughts were racing. He needed to get this done. He couldn’t wait any longer. So, not even an hour later, Noah quietly stood up, went to the bathroom and changed into his jeans and a simple black sweater, trying not to wake Nick. He didn’t need him to know where he was going.

But his plan failed, when he came out of the bathroom again.

“Where are you going?” Nick asked Noah, his eyes still laced with sleep.

Noah’s heart began to race. He didn’t really know what to say to his best friend, so he simply tried a random excuse. “I wanna go for a walk.”

Nick's eyebrow twitched upwards. He didn't believe him. “Where are you really going?”

Noah sighed. He didn’t answer, just staring at the floor.

“I’ll come with you.” – “No!”

Nick flinched at Noah’s tone. It got more and more confusing with each passing second. Noah looked broken, only a shell of what he used to be. Nick knew something was destroying him internally, so he wouldn't let go of this.

“I’ll can wait in the distance, but I’m not letting you go alone, Noah.” Nick answered his best friend, while slipping out of the bed to get dressed. Noah pressed his fingernails into his hands with such a force, he was scared he would bleed. He was starting to panic. He didn’t want Nick to worry anymore but in fact everything he was saying, caused Nick to be concerned even more.

“Why won’t you just let me go alone?” Noah asked carefully, a slight stutter in his voice. He sounded nothing like himself anymore. All he could think about was his mission to convince his mind that he couldn’t have Jules.

Nick stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Noah. It took him everything to not shout at Noah. He was getting frustrated. Noah had never acted like this. He knew he got worse. Noah had told him what made him go back into therapy, even though he left out the detail about Jules.

“I’m scared you will hurt yourself.” Nick almost whispered and blinked away the tears that started to form in his eyes.

Noah finally looked at his best friend with guilt. He wished he could tell Nick, but he knew he wouldn’t have believed him. So, he stayed quiet.

“Okay.” Noah whispered out “You can go with me, but you have to wait.”

Nick nodded, not really sure what he was agreeing to. But soon they had packed their stuff and took off.

They took a cab to a more remote area. Nick had no idea where they were and couldn't remember ever having been in this area of New York. After exiting the car, Noah walked with determination while Nick just trotted behind him, confusion in his eyes.

Soon they reached an area surrounded by a wall. Nick quickly realized it was a graveyard. Even though he was even more confused, he kept quiet while Noah handed him his backpack with the request to wait for him at that exact spot. Nick nodded and gave Noah a last confused but reassuring look before his best friend took off.

The graveyard had an eerie calmness, with the rustling leaves and the distant sounds of traffic being the only disruptions to the silence. The air was heavy with a mix of sorrow and nostalgia. As Noah entered the quiet space, the atmosphere changed, and Noah could feel the weight of memories settling on his shoulders.

His steps echoed softly on the gravel path. The gravestones stood like silent monuments, bearing countless untold stories of the people buried there. Goosebumps formed on Noah's skin as he walked among the rows. Graveyards always made him uneasy; they were a stark reminder of the fragility of life.

As Noah ventured deeper into the graveyard, the air seemed to thicken with an invisible heaviness.

The gravestones varied in size and design, telling stories of different lives. Noah's gaze shifted, and then, in a clearing, he saw it – a fresh grave adorned with vibrant flowers. The colors contrasted sharply against the muted tones of the graveyard. It looked so new, and reality hit him like a wave.

Jules. It was her grave.

Noah felt a knot tighten in his chest. He had buried too many people in his short life, but this was different. This was someone he hadn’t known in her lifetime, but someone he had connected with in ways he couldn't explain. When he got closer, he saw her full name, her birthday and the day she died. There even was a photo of her, leaning against the gravestone. The realization that Jules had left this world not even a year ago hit him with a profound sadness. She had simply slipped from his fingers.

He stood there, silent, taking in the scene. The brightness of the flowers seemed to mock the sadness radiating of the grave. Noah's mind swirled with conflicting emotions, and he couldn't shake the heaviness that settled over him. This was a painful reminder that Jules, his mysterious guardian angel, was not just a figment of his imagination but a person who had lived, loved, and left way to soon.

A profound sense of loss settled over him. It wasn't just about the person he had known briefly; it was about the life that had ended, the dreams that had ceased to unfold. He felt an ache in his chest, a pain that echoed with the weight of missed opportunities and the cruel randomness of fate. In this exact moment he realized something really important. He didn’t want to die. There was so much to live for. There was still so much to do for him.

As his tears started streaming down his face, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Without turning he instantly recognized the soft touch on his shoulder.

“Jules.”

“Noah, we need to talk.”

LAST PART

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens rpf #collapsedglasshouseswrites #noah sebastian x ofc

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abimee · 11 months

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same anon as the stew ask - i forgot to mention this but your tags about fat really reminded me just how much i love love love your depiction of nophica. I love the way you draw skin and fat, your drawing of ysayle (i forget if it was her or someone else but the point still stands) with acne almost made me cry with happiness when I first saw it. Please keep doing what makes you happy and I hope you can continue to find love in the act of creation. I was surprised to hear that you once got told that your work was depressing but more over I'm so happy for you that you're finally reaching a point in your creative journey that you can be proud and happy of. Thank you for sharing what you make with us.

oh yar it was pretty common in both my fanfiction and art to get told that but admittedly i do think i wasnt really drawing anything of substance besides vague sad thoughts and emotions i was having in highschool LOL

like looking back on it i cant blame people for extrapolating the Bad Emotions from the stuff i made even when the piece wasnt about that cause i was in like, a really bad spot constantly but it being the only thing i heard was definitely something people could've lighten up about cause i was also just trying to draw fanart and live in peace but even my friends from back then told me such and its like GOT DAMN (ITS REALLY FUNNY NOW)

but i am really happy to know that im at least a little more well enough that that has stopped being prominant in my art and that people get good fuzzy emotions AND IM HAPPY that i can finally make ''the art'' i want..... i can never really describe how i felt held back in a way i didnt know of back then but i really do think it was because the artists around me just never Talked or Made an effort to draw things in their art like acne and such, and since i had no way of learning about art besides by listening to big artists back then i never Thought i could do that, or i thought people wouldn't like my art if i did that that i even refused to draw features I Had (i even remember once trying to hide that i started forming acne as a teen because i was so hyperaware of being seen as unsightly on the internet for it after having smooth skin and that was rough. ROUGH) so the fact that now what i once feared of ''what if people are rude about the way i draw people'' is entirely flipped upside down to ''people really love the way i draw characters'' i think also helped me get out of my shell of insecurity with my own art and actually Enjoy drawing because i feel like i can really express something

thats a lot of rambling but what im trying to say it is from viewers like you that my art has made it where it is today and i wouldnt have developed how i have and with the love i have in creating without it so [pbs channel voice] Thank You..... im hanging this one up on my fridge as well

#im glad you like my ysayle and my nophica i need to draw both of them more ough

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levok · 2 years

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i feel that bc of the queerness i surround myself with (the movies i watch, the music i consume, the celebs i love, my friends) i sometimes get lost in this bubble that fluidity of sexuality and gender/gender expression has become more accepted/normalized and while there’s ofc improvements, things like the bill in florida u just posted about remind me that no, acceptance of queerness and fluidity is still so incredibly far from where it should be. i’m so thankful that at least in the moment, i’ve found a safe space for my queerness but god it’s so heartbreaking and absurd to see such homophobia in plain sight. also reminds me to be prideful of my queerness and never feel like i’m being annoying or a burden when i speak of it bc it needs to be spoken of. i will continue to make things gay. the stories i write, the playlists i make, the art i make. all gay bc its who i am and i refuse to make straight, boring people comfortable by hiding my queerness. thank u for bringing this bill to people’s attention!

This ask made me really emotional ❣️(I’ve already cried 4 times today) Thank you anon.

Living in a safe bubble is a privilege and a blessing. But it shouldn’t be! Nothing hits me harder and makes me more angry than queerphobia. The county I live in is probably one of the safest countries in the world, when it comes to LGBTQ+ people, and still the majority of my queer friends has experienced getting beaten up or verbally abused because of the way they express themself in public.

We will probably never get totally rid of hateful scum, but the big difference is, how the government, the laws and the state in general treat queer people. Not even the most right winged party in the danish parliament would ever consider laws like they make in America, that work against the LGBTQ+ community. Hate crimes still happen all the time, but at least I’m happy I live in a country where hate crimes are punished harder than regular crime, because they are hate crimes - and not the opposite.

I’m so happy you live a free and safe life. Im happy you feel confident expressing yourself and are surrounded by people who empowers you - please always feel like that 💜 There’s still a long way to go, and the majority of queer people are still not able to live freely. So please keep them in your heart. Express yourself even harder, be yourself even more, be more gay - for the people who can’t.

#ask #lgbtq

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kissme-hs · 4 years

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Tainted love: 3

Here it is!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update it but let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it.

~Ria

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warnings: None.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Hatred is far from the feeling you felt. You were disgusted. Utterly disgusted with the man you put your trust and faith and your heart into who did nothing but took it for granted and it all into little crumbs of pain. All this time you blamed yourself for HIS actions that he not only did while being in his complete sense but knowing how wrong it is-continued doing it. The image you had of Chris in your mind now vanished, the man you once thought deserved to be prayed now made your stomach churn because of how shameful he turned out to be.

After sending him the text you thought, oh you thought that he would realize what he lost, that he would feel a little bit at least of regret in the back of his head but you were so wrong. It not only made you feel worthless but made you realize instead how your love meant nothing to him, how all those years you spent in each other’s arm vowing to each other to be in love until the end of time was nothing but a lie to him. Where to you it meant your entire life.

One doesn’t stay with a person for three years not to just fuck and say I love you’s for fun. With the years the feelings grow strong and at some point, you start fantasizing marrying that person, having kids with the person, grow old with the person. But when one decides to go and cheat, putting all the years of love in ignorance and throwing it all in the pit of darkness not only everything changes but the dreams once knitted by the eyes of the one who remained faithful in love, who was the true lover gets struck by the lightening of reality. And once the dreams crashes, it becomes nearly impossible to dream again because the dreamer starts seeing the real world.

Fuck dreams.

Became your to go motto ever since you knocked on his door.

The heavy teal door opened after a few knocks as you held your breath getting yourself ready to face the man who ripped your heart apart. But instead you were met by a pair of green eyes, gorgeous eyes. She stood there in his hoodie and a pair of short showing her perfect toned legs. Her dirty blonde hair and fuller plumps would made any man lose his girl and go crawling to her. She was an absolute piece of art.

“Chris we have someone here for you” She yelled leaning back a bit so the man could hear her. She gave you a side smile as a gesture of kindness. She was aware she was a homewrecker, she knew how much Chris loved you and she also knew being a good friend she should’ve stopped him when things became a routine between them two but she couldn’t say no to him. Chris would make any women go crawling to him too. She was equally shameful for what she has done not as close to how Chris was feeling but still. So when Chris asked her to come over explaining her what happen which she knew would some day she didn’t hesitate coming over comforting him.

“i-im Samantha” she replied stepping aside letting you step inside of your his house. The smell of familiar cologne and candles hit your nostrils making you tear up from the past good memories. Gi ving her a tiniest sad smile and a nod, you stepped inside of the house. Turning your gaze up to the sound of approaching footsteps you saw the man, and oh sweet jesus you thought you’d hate him but how could you when the feeling of love was always greater than hatred. But the pain crept up when you saw Samantha walking to him and rubbing his side comforting him, though she was guilty, she still at some point enjoyed the attention Chris gave her.

Though she might have a portion of kindness in her heart she was known for breaking homes. She was used to getting in pants of men who were committed. It made her feel special; it made her feel like gold that everyone loved chasing. Especially in this case, knowing what a prize Chris’s girlfriend, you were she was over the moon. She loved how Chris was willing to give up a beautiful woman with a proper job and who had her life sorted for someone who was nothing compared to you.

“Y/n” he breathed out ignoring the woman rubbing his arm. His eyes getting wet seeing your face after days. Jeez only if he could kiss you and tell you how much he missed you and loved you.

“I-im sorry, I’m so sorry” He said walking to you as you raised your hand telling him to stop, which he understood nodding his head and taking a step back. He felt the ache in his heart.

“He really is sorry, he told me everything after you texted him so I came running” Samantha uttered rubbing Chris’s back. It did nothing to you but made your blood boil as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to say something which could hurt her feelings. Opening your mouth telling her to leave you heard Chris say that instead.

“Can I ask you to leave please?” He asked her taking a deep breath trying not to yell either.

“I-“

“Get out, get off my property” you spat. You and Chris jointly brought this house so you wouldn’t feel a burden on him being the independent woman you were. Feeling like she was shamed in front of two successful people, Samantha gathered her stuff and left within the next coming minute. Though you were a softie, there was no doubt you has a powerful side too.

“I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry. Please give me a second chance.”

“Why Chris? Why did you cheat on me? Was my love was not enough for you to sleeping with her. Tell me Chris did you not feel a little bit of shame fucking on OUR bed? Tell me why did you have to go and do that making me look like a fool? Why did you waste my time? WHY DID YOU FAKED THE LOVE if you wanted to cheat?” You finally let it out. You were crying at this not giving a fuck. He deserved to see how broken he left you. You were not going to act like everything was fine, like you didn’t care when you felt dead inside.

“No. No baby. Never for once I ever faked my love for you.” He cried cupping your cheeks-you finally let him touch you because you wanted to feel his warmth on your cold skin. His own eyes crying as you sobbed yourself.

“I-I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know why I decided to chase a rock when I had the most precious diamond. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing. I love you so much” He whispered resting his forehead against yours. You knew deep down he meant what he said. You felt the words hitting your body making your knees go week but it was for the best. The separation. So pushing him back slightly you gathered your broken pieces up.

“I just came to tell you that I am moving to California. I will always cherish the good memories you gave me” you gave him a broken smile wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“No please give me one more chance” Chris pleaded grabbing your hands. His defeated eyes begged yours to give in, to see that he wasn’t lying anymore. That he was truly sorry for what he has done but being the strong headed woman you are, you shook your head and wiped his tears with your hand before cupping his cheek.

“It’s for the best. I still love you, but it’s not the same Chris. Let me let you go”

That was an year ago. An year ago you left the man standing on his porch as you turned your back on his forever, making your way to the new life that waited ahead of you in Los Angeles. The city of angels. The city that gave you a chance to put your words into songs, let your shattered voice sing it in a melody helping you reach out to him without reaching out to him.

And today you stood in front of over 100 amazing successful celebrities who warmly welcomed you in the family of Hollywood and decided to join you for your album launch party. You didn’t hesitate writing down your deepest condolences you had for yourself and singing it out. Every word people heard in the songs came from the bottom of your heart. Came within the true feeling of getting lost and found again.

Getting into the industry wasn’t hard for you. You were already a known person working for Hollywood and it not only being the reason how you met Chris it also gave you an opportunity to let your talent out. All those months you spent working hard to get acceptance by one of the music producers was the time when Chris was fucking Samantha. Only if he stayed the night you begged him to, he would’ve known it all.

Your album was dedicated to Chris. No one knew expect you. No one could know anyways.

Stepping down the mini platform where you expressed you gratitude to the audience you made your way to where the bar was set up to drink in the emotions that were bubbling up your throat from all the love you received to the pain that still ached in every nerve in your body. It was impossible to erase the memory of him fucking Samantha from your head. You were proud to you say you tried. Tried every way of escaping his face haunting your dreams every night. The feelings choking you down. The pain eating you alive. But you couldn’t.

“What you said there was beautiful.” You heard the deep voice of the man who you left standing on the door of Boston an year ago. Turning your body around, mentally preparing yourself for the wave of mixed emotions to hit you like a truck you faced his adorningly beautiful face. His beard looked fuller and his hair fluffier. He looked the same but his eyes looked dead, just like they were when you left.

“Thank you.” You gave him a broken smile.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked you with eyes full of hope and you nodded letting him guide you out to the balcony that had the perfect view of the city. He deserved some time with you after an year of you completely blocking him out. He deserved to know that the words coming out of your mouth in the song were written about him.

“It about you, you know. The album” You said walking over to the railing looking at the illuminous city.

“I figured, I never knew you were working on something so big.” He stood beside you.

“You would have if you stayed”

“Listen, I’m not going to waste any more time. Im here to beg you back in life, I am sorry for what I have done but please give me a chance. That one year spent without you was my living hell. Everyday I prayed for you to come back but you never did and there’s no question why. I am a horrible man but I promise if you let me prove it that I am so much better than I was I wont let you down. I will love you even more than I ever have” he said with a soft voice guilt dripping with every word he spoke making you turn around to face him. His eyes glistening with tears and his hands holding each other in front of his chest.

Man was literally begging you.

“Hey you are not a horrible man.” You whispered walking to him as you put his hands down and held his one cheek in your hand. He instantly nuzzled his nose feeling your skin after days of being away from you. His knees were giving away and so was his heart.

“We all make mistakes but learning from them and moving on is important. I forgave you the minute I stepped away from our relationship. You’re nothing but still the most precious man I ever had” you said. Your own eyes picking the tears.

“then give me a chance” he spoke kissing your palm staring down In your eyes making your belly turn in knots.

“I cant. I have moved on Chris” You said breaking his heart. He breathed out biting his lower lip as he looked on. He never felt so defeated and helpless. But this is what he deserved for throwing away the best he ever had. For not respecting the beautiful relationship and woman he was meant to guard. He opened his mouth but the lump in his throat got in the way. He could just break down.

“Then let me be your friend. I just want to be in your life. Make up for what I’ve missed. Please don’t say no.” He trembled in fear you would reject him but instead you nod your head and pull him in a hug knowing he would break if you didn’t. Still knowing him like the back of your head you gave in his request hoping you could contain the emotions.

It is said, two who once fell in love can never be friends. Once in love, always in love.

So you stood there holding him, closed your eyes letting the man calm his cries. Falling back in the chakra of tainted love.

Tags

@captainchrisstan

@evansphnx12

@adriannajackson

#chris evans x wife!reader #chris evansxreader #chris evans headers #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagines #chris evans fandom #cevans

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olderthannetfic · 3 years

Note

It's really surprising that you're so well versed in older fandoms and yet participate in new popular ones (that cdrama, kpop) is this by design? Im in my twenties and my interest turnover is already way slower than it used to be

You know, that’s a really interesting question. I wouldn’t say it’s by design exactly in that I do tend to just follow what strikes my fancy, and I can’t force myself to want to write fic for just anything. (I find it easier to like reading fic without serious involuntary emotional investment, but writing takes more. Vidding I can do on command most of the time, but I don’t usually bother unless I have a lot of feels or I’m fulfilling someone’s prompt.)

However, me getting into BTS was 100% due to me wanting to understand BTS enough to explain to people who weren’t very interested but wanted to know what was going on in fandom lately. Under normal circumstances, I run the dance party at Escapade, the oldest extant slash con. We borrowed vividcon’s thing of playing fanvids on the wall--all of them set to dance music--as the soundtrack for the dance party. This means I’m creating a 3-hour mixtape of fannishness, which has amazing potential to make people feel in the know about Fandom Today... and equal potential to make them feel alienated if nothing they care about shows up. Only about 100-150 people attend the con, so it really is possible to make a playlist that feels inclusive yet informative--it just takes a huge amount of work.

Every year, I do a lot of research on which fandoms are getting big and look for vids from vidders people won’t have heard of, so there is an element of consciously trying to keep up with things. Generally, I only get into these fandoms myself if I had no idea what they were and then suddenly, oops, they’re my kryptonite, like the buddy cop android plot in Detroit: Become Human, which sucked me in hard for like 6 months on the basis of a vid.

(So if you’re into cross-fandom meta and associated stuff as one of your fannish interests, you tend to have broader knowledge of different fandoms, old and new, than if you’re just looking for the next place you’ll read fic. It’s also easier to love vids for unfamiliar things than fic.)

But though I was only looking for a basic primer on BTS, BTS has 7 members with multiple names and no clear juggernaut pairing, not to mention that AU that runs through the music videos and lots of other context to explain. The barrier to understanding WTF was going on at all was high enough that to know enough to explain, I had to be thoroughly exposed... And once I was over that hurdle, oops, I had a fandom.

In terms of old vs. new, here’s the thing: kpop fandoms in English and c-drama fandoms in English right now feel a lot like anime fandom in English did in the early 00s. I had a Buddy Cops of the 70s phase in the middle, but my current fannishness is actually a return to my older fannishness in many ways.

What do I mean about them being similar?

Yes, I know some wanker will show up to say I think China, Korea, and Japan are indistinguishable, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the way that I used to routinely meet Italian and French and German fans, Argentinian and Mexican, Malaysian and Indonesian and Filipino too. English-language fandom of SPN or MCU may have all those fans from all those countries, but it feels very American most of the time. English-language fandom of a non-English-language canon is more overtly about using English as a lingua franca.

It also tends to attract people who as a sideline to their fannishness are getting into language learning and translation, which are my other passion in life after fanworks fandom. (I speak only English and Spanish and a bit of Japanese, but I’ve studied German, French, Russian, Mandarin, Old English, and now Korean.)

Nerds arguing about methods of language learning and which textbooks are good and why is my jam. This is all over the place in English-language fandoms of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean media. Those fandoms also tend to be full of speakers coming from a Germanic or Romance languages background who face similar hurdles in learning these languages. (In other words, if you’re a native Japanese speaker trying to learn Korean, the parts that will be hard for you are different than if you’re an English speaker, but you’re also usually not doing fandom in English.)

There’s also an element of scarcity and difficulty of access and a communal attempt to construct a canon (in the other sense) of stuff from that country that pertains to one’s fannishness. So, for example, a primer explaining the genre of xianxia is highly relevant to being a n00b Untamed fan, but just any old thing about China is not. A c-drama adapted from a danmei webnovel is perhaps part of the new pantheon of Chinese shit we’re all getting into, but just any old drama from decades ago is probably not... unless it’s a genre precursor to something else we care about. Another aspect here is that while Stuff I Can Access As A N00b Who Doesn’t Speak The Language may be relatively scarce, there’s a vast, vast wealth of stuff that exists.

This is what it felt like to be an anime fan in the US in 2000. As translation got more commercial and more crappy series were licensed and dumped onto an already glutted market, the vibe changed. No longer were fans desperately trying to learn enough of the language to translate or spending their time cataloguing what existed or making fanworks about a show they stuck with for a bit: the overall community focus turned to an endless race of consumption to keep up with all of the latest releases. That’s a perfectly valid way of being fannish, but if I wanted that, I’d binge US television 24/7.

Anime fandom got bigger, but what I liked about anime fandom in English died, and I moved on. (Okay, I first moved on to Onmyouji, which is a live action Japanese thing, but still.)

Hardcore weeaboos and now fans of Chinese and Korean stuff don’t stop at language: people get excited about cooking, my other other great passion. Times a thousand if the canon is something like The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, which is full of loving shots of food preparation. People get excited about history! Mandarin and Japanese may share almost nothing in terms of grammar or phonology, but all of East Asia has influence from specific Chinese power centers historically, and there are commonalities to historical architecture and clothing that I love.

I fell out of love with the popular anime art styles as they changed, and I’m not that into animation in general these days. (I still own a shitton of manga in art styles I like, like Okano Reiko’s Onmyouji series.) I’ve become a filmmaker over the last decade, and I’m very excited about beautiful cinematography and editing. With one thing and another, I’m probably not going to get back into anime fandom, but it’s lovely to revisit the cultural aspects I enjoyed about it via live-action media.

BTS surprised me too, to be honest. I really dislike that early 90s R&B ballad style that infests idol music (not just Korean--believe me, I resisted many rounds of “But Johnny’s Entertainment though!” back in the day). While I like some of the dance pop, I just don’t care. But OH NO, BTS turn out to be massive conscious hip hop fanboys, and their music sounds different. I have some tl;dr about my reactions in the meta I wrote about one of my fanvids, which you can find on Dreamwidth here.

But back to your comment about turnover: I know fans from the 70s who’ve had one great fannish love and that’s it and more who were like that but eventually moved on to a second or third. They’re... really fannishly monogamous in a way I find hard to comprehend. It was the norm long ago, but even by the 90s when far more people were getting into fandom, it was seen as a little weird. By now, with exponentially more people in fandom, it’s almost unheard of. I think those fans still exist, even as new people joining, but we don’t notice them. They were always rare, but in the past, only people like that had the stamina to get over the barriers to entry and actually become the people who made zines or were willing to be visibly into fanfic in eras when that was seen as really weird. On top of that, there’s an element of me, us, judging the past by what’s left: only people with an intense and often single passion are visible because other people either drifted away or have seamlessly disappeared into some modern fandom. They don’t say they’re 80 or 60 or 40 instead of 20, so nobody knows.

In general, I’m a small fandoms and rare ships person. My brain will do its best to thwart me by liking whatever has no fic even in a big fic fandom... (Except BTS because there is literally fic for any combination of them, like even more than for the likes of MCU. Wow. Best fandom evar!) So I have an incentive to not get complacent and just stick with one fandom because I would very soon have no ability to be in fandom at all.

My appetite for Consuming All The Things has slowed way down, but it also goes in waves, and a lot of what I’m consuming is what I did back in 2000: journal articles and the limited range of English-language books on the history of m/m sex and romance in East Asia. It’s not so much that I have a million fandoms as that I’m watching a few shows as an expression of my interest in East Asian costume dramas and East Asian history generally.

I do like to sit with one thing and experience it deeply rather than moving on quickly, but the surface expression of this has changed depending on whether I’m more into writing fic or more into doing research or something else.

But yes, I do do a certain amount of trying to stay current, often as a part of research for fandom meta or to help other people know what’s going on. Having a sense of what’s big doesn’t automatically mean getting into all those things, but I think some fans who are older-in-fandom and/or older-in-years stop being open to even hearing what’s new. And if you’ve never heard of it, you’ll never know if you might have liked it.

#fandom meta #fandom history #Anonymous

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themilky-way · 4 years

Text

like water {din djarin}

gif credit: no-droids

pairing: the mandalorian/din djarin x fem!reader

summary: when the one person he cares about is threatened, he lets himself indulge in the aftermath of defending them.

warnings: some violence in the beginning, choking (not in the fun way), depictions of scratches, punches, and minor abrasions; the reader is hurt basically. oh and mando’s gun bc yeah❤️umm that’s it i think? nothing too horrible tho but if this thing triggers you, please don’t read !!

author’s note: not to be conceited or anything (is that even the right word for it lol?) but im super proud of how this turned out! requests are open btw for anyone who wishes to submit anything (if unsure, just ask which fandoms)!

----------

cyar’ika-> darling, sweetheart

nothing in that exact moment had made much sense. one minute the most precious thing to ever exist to him was snatched away, and the next his hands were gripping the treasure beneath his holster. his knuckles were lily-white at this point, holding the gun as hard as his body would allow him to without crushing underneath him, and the urge to cock it made him visibly shake. he’d been given a command, and out of all the merciless men in the filthy galaxy, he needed to follow it, so his weapon of preference stayed where it needed to.

the meager specks of emotion that still lived within him betrayed his prominent composure, the view in front of him blocked by the sudden glaze of his eyes. the small drops of saltwater puddled together in his now hazy orbs, holding on until it was nearly impossible to stay put and then rivered down his cheeks. the cause? well, you.

you were filling up the mandalorian’s line of vision, his eyes darting between you and the bounty that had gone wrong. an alienated hand was wrapped around your innocent throat, your feeble hands wrapped around its wrist in a dumb attempt to break free. the ground you were roaming on before appeared to be never ending, and in the same way, the darkened sky absorbed you whole. vertigo was now in full effect; any quick movement caused you to shut your eyes tightly and hope to the maker you’d get through it. it took a few seconds for you to regain your balance, a sharp pain pinging around your neck forcing you to find it. you half expected to be back on the mud again, to have the man you had spent the past year flying around with pulling you to safety. instead, you found din frozen in place, an instinctive action rooted in the steel handle of his pistol. he wasn’t moving, too scared to blink as if you’d disappear if he did.

perhaps you were; someone like you seemed too good to be true. in all actuality, it may be that you were a fever dream, a celestial that had come down from the sanctity of your home to finally rescue him from his burdens. amidst his frantic glances, he reminisced every second he’d spent with you since your unforeseen arrival, and that somehow worked for him. the gears in his brain started to turn again, and with every ounce of his strength, he pounced on the quarry and did what he should’ve done the instant you were taken from him. anger took over his worry, the effects illustrating themselves in a collage of mitted fists and blood. the pistol residing on din’s waist was useless compared to his hits; the softened position of his jawbone was locked firmly as a result of his gritted teeth and he was going to need more than your delicate hand on his shoulders to ground his senses.

the mandalorian never expected to succumb to anyone, nor to feel remotely joyful upon hearing someone’s laugh. the idea of kindling a relationship was ludicrous, utterly impossible if only he weren’t bound to the chains of his creed. oftentimes, he wondered if someone would one day traverse his path and make him question every moral he’d been taught. din had dismissed the thought, as any other member of his intricate society would have, but the wondrous insight depicting a different lifestyle always lingered faintly in his mind.

today, the very same visions behind his recurrent insomnia framed themselves in a frail art piece. din’s focus laid directly ahead, the fingers navigating the center controls as tight as they’d been on his gun. his eyes deserved to rest, perhaps take in the splashes of color nature was offering him, but he landed them on the same lovely sculpture adorning his cockpit.

you were seated in the chair adjacent from the pilot’s, with your knees closely tucked to your chest. one large scrape designed itself on your leg-a dull reminder of the ordeal you were involved in hours earlier-with flakes of arid blood protecting the wound. bouncing off the skin of your throat were shades of red and purple, now properly mixing into a deeper complexion that’d require you to hide it for some time. besides the scattered nicks living on your face, and the other couple dozen on your arms and legs, the outcome wasn’t as terrible as the one your attacker received. it was a rule of thumb to not mess with a mandalorian, much less with the pretty little lady clutching his arm as if it were second nature. the foolest of fools wouldn’t even have done such a foul thing, and this particular creature came to know the punishment for harming what wasn’t rightfully his.

it truly amazed him; the way you seemed to be so unphased by a traumatic circumstance. the woman beside him-the same one who couldn’t sleep unless a window was open-had endured pain, and the marks on her skin proved themselves in jagged indications of it. through the darkened screen of his visor, din could make out your hands neatly intertwined around your folded knees, your chin simultaneously resting on top. you’d been as observant as you always were, hardly missing his actions as he navigated his newfound family to a safe stop. sure, you were unaware of the loving term he considered of you and the baby, but it didn’t hurt to keep it a secret, right?

“hey.” it came out more hoarse than he intended it to, but the emotion behind it flowed out nonetheless. “you okay?”

not really. i don’t feel good. it was easy to say exactly that, to speak the truth, but it was even easier to lie. for the sake of his own worry, at most. your eyes were still glued to his armor, taking in the rough outline of where you imagined his skin would be underneath, or moreso the abstract idea of feeling it with your hands. reflections of your yearning came and went like the mandalorian’s missions, almost impulsively at times, and the curious, teasing tilts his helmet would bid you only encouraged that craving. much like now; the black “T” of his expressionless face leaned to the side, asking you to earnestly respond. “mm, yeah. ‘m kinda tired, though,” you mumbled.

you threw him a lie and he caught it. “don’t lie to me.” din swiveled his chair to accordingly match the peripheral of yours, his elbows coming to rest on top of his beskar-clad legs. “can you look at me?” he inquired softly. then, his intent fell on the slow shift of your head and how it turned to face him, your cheek settling on your unscathed knee. a breath fell from his lips at the doting admiration swimming in your stare. “there she is,” he confirmed with an upward curl of his lips. “is there anything i can do?” it was sincere; a genuine concern to accompany his question. you hummed in response, fearful to accidentally voice the confessions you hid from him. you blinked once, twice, until his question became a plea. “please, cyar’ika.”

reasonably, you were too busy exploring the shape of his helmet, permitting your creative imagination to paint images of the man next to you; so when your ears perceived his sudden name of endearment, there was nothing amongst the stars that you could’ve possibly denied him from. “you’ve never called me that before,” you smiled, all big and brilliant.

“i’ve wanted to,” the man replied. what resembled ages of pent up stress released with a few curated words. his muscles relaxed, something he never believed to be attainable given his vigorous profession. “god, i’ve wanted to.”

he followed it with a humble laugh. a sound so familiar and warm, so genuine that it empowered your grin to spread higher. “by all means, keep saying it.” now it was your turn to nervously giggle, and him who embraced the noise with everything he could. a mutual infatuation, so wonderfully obvious, yet it was refused acknowledgment. “i think there is something you can do, though.” silence advised you to continue, “can i sleep with you tonight?”

the misguided pieces of your minds’, maybe even your souls’, reattached themselves that very same night. as the both of you slept, hands, calloused and smooth, intimately merged against the cushions of the warrior’s bed. tender kisses planted to your forehead left electricity in their wake, and the dark ambiance of his dwelling favored the entanglement of your tired bodies.

“i wish i could see you, din,” you sighed. the manner in which it was expressed, full of sleep and everything akin, urged him to lift your weightless wrist to his lips.

“you’ll get to one day, cyar’ika. for now just let me hold you, yeah?”

#not me writing fanfiction better than ap literature essays #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x y/n #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin #star wars #pedro pascal #my writing!

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aqqleshiqqing-archive · 3 years

Text

"Well whataya know, she loves me! That's just the advantage I need."

- Daffy Duck

Hey there Jil! Happy happy birthday! I'm sorry this took so long, but i'm glad it's finished now XDD Some of them aren't colored in because I don't know their colors and I didn't want to mess it up xisjf. Feel free to tell me so I can fix that! :DD Anyways, let's get onto the message.

You're always been such an inspiration to me as an artist. Your art style back in Amino really helped me love my own art style. Everything you have done for me, whether it be drawing my ocs or merely talking to me, has made me so so happy and confident all through the years we've been friends. I can't thank you enough for helping me be the person that I am today, and for being such a big inspiration to me growing up.

Your love for things that would be considered 'old' is really cool! You have introduced me to so many amazing things that would have gone under my radar otherwise :DD Your chats and gushes about your interests never fail to make me smile and interested.

You've been so kind and helpful, and I truly do thank you for everything. You're actually so funny and beautiful (all your f/os agree with me) , and an absolute sweetheart that truly deserves the world. You've been such an amazing best best³ friend to both me and Xelle. You always knew how to cheer us up whenever we felt down (are you a wizard?), even if you were having trouble yourself.

Your heart is truly as big as the sky and the oceans, it's just adorable seeing you express your love for all your f/os. I'm glad you found someone to give all your love to, because you truly do deserve it. Oh! Speaking of love, I LOVE how much you love green. Whenever I see green, my brain clicks to you specifically. Even in a fandom where our main color is green, I never stop thinking about how you love green. I love how you have a favorite color! It's such an interesting and loveable fact about you :3

All your ocs are so cool and amazing! All their personalities and uniqueness make it so fun to interact with them whenever possible.

You may be growing older by the second, but that doesn't mean that you aren't still a huge sweetheart. Don't rush to grow up for us, or be 'mature' or whatever. Let's stay fun and silly no matter what age we become :3 If we were able to do it for 5 years, who says we can't when we're like 30? XDD

I apologize if this letter is shorter than expected. I truly do have a lot of words of thanks and love for you, but I don't want this letter to become too repetetive. Just know that I- no, all of us loves you so so much. You're one of the greatest people I have ever met. Thank you so much and have a happy happy birthday! ♡

An angel's smile is what you sell

- You Give Love A Bad Name

❖❖❖❖

THESE HEART MEMES ARE NOT HELPING WITH HOW IM TRYING TO RRPRESENT MY REACTION HERE-

Okay, I'm actually tearing up a little, with previous letters and gifts I just got today and then this one I just felt little droplets falling from my cheeks I-

I don't wanna write such a long letter in here but, oh my goodness there's way too much effort places on this, from the drawing and the writing all just for me! Thank you so much, words really can't comprehend the emotions I'm feeling, it's overwhelmingly wholesome and also that goes out to the other lovely people too but seriously! Thank you so much!

#YOU'RE REALLY GONNA EXPOSE MY OTHER CHILDREN NOW #jas how did you make me cry #this is an avenger level threat here #I'm glad that I've inspired you! my old art may appear bad to me now but #it's an honor to hear that people like you still like it and take it as inspiration #and green ahaha I must be really iconic with green #I don't wanna exceed the tag limit again but I appreciate you as much as you do too and I mean it!#thank you for being a lovely friend #~ lovely gifts #🍇 other's ships #❇️ jas!#♥️ reeds and clovers #I feel like I broke grammar half way through #submission

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eitelle · 3 years

Note

Ahh hi i hope im not too late to the event :) i would like a haikyuu matchup, any gender is fine!

Uhh, i still don't know if im intp or infp but i'm a capricorn sun, sagittarius moon and taurus rising. my pronouns are they/she

i'm 5'1, i have brown shoulder-length hair that is half bleached, and pale skin with freckles!

My favorite color is black, and my favorite food are strawberries with chocolate.

I'm an introvert, i tend to get really anxious in public spaces so i avoid going out alone lmao. When meeting new people i'm nervous at first and i don't talk much, but with friends i trust i get more confident and talk a lot more.

I think i would need someone who can listen to me, since i could talk a lot about my interests 😭

i'm always drawing, so if there is someone i like i would express my love by drawing them since i'm not good with words ✌

And i think that's it. If i am actually late just ignore this ask bc that would be embarrassing 😕🤞 have a nice day !

HI LOVE!! tbh u werent late if anything im the late one since im so late to this ask bye- its like 2 months later n i still have this im gonna kms /j

U SOUND SO PRETTY. N I LOVE UR PLACEMENTS. N I WANNA GIVE U A KITH. OOH N I LITERALLY RELATE TO U SM BYEEEE

ok so anyways ive matched you up w: miya osamu!!

ok so some hcs

he always thinks hes the forgotten twin n he lowk has trust issues from people saying “no ur my fav twin!! atsumu” so he doesnt even rly like words!!

he also expresses his emotions n love through his food so ur art will never go underappreciated with him

he also loves physical touch tho n deals w his brother and suna a lot so he knows ab introverts AND extroverts so he knows hoe to get u out of uncomfy situations ;DD

he often had to hear atsumu ramble so hes a vv good listener but he knows when to push u a lil bv he can read people vv well, yet another reason why words arent needed!!

sometimes people forget ur dating bc yall both lowk dont like pda but yall r in love so who tf cares?

he loves yalls height difference

he gets to ramble to u while u draw so u can focus on him n not any intrusive thoughts since sometimes that can cause ur hand to shake n thats the worse

he likes laying his head in ur lap

he can always read u so hes like a rock for u n hes p big n beefy so hes just like always there n thats amazing

he def like has ur art in his restaurant pls. (w consent ofc bc consent is seggsy)

idk why but i feel like yall have a shit ton of those reversible octopus plushies?? idk SJJSS

COOKING N ART DATES OH LORD😫‼️

yall r literally such a hot couple

also me n my husband by mitski (but like when u dont psychoanalyze the lyrics n take it as some cute thing) is yalls theme song i dont make the rules 🤚

u guys have promise rings WHSGSH

OK NOW ONE SHOT DRABBLE THING SJSHD

also why were the gifs all atsumu not osamu 🤨⁉️ i typed in miya osamu or sum shit like that. wow this is osamuphobic tbh 😐☝️(ps: manga timeskip spoilers ahead)

“osamu where are you taking me? dont run me into a pole babe HAHSHSHS” you giggle as your crazy boyfriend osamu miya drags a blindfolded you across the city where a rose petal and candle decorated restaurant (his restaurant) awaits with your fav food.

“ok ok i wont i swear. ok now here we are, open your eyes baby,” your boyfriend encourages.

as you open your eyes you see your favorite food in a romantic setting, completely unrecognizable as osamus restaurant and you over your mouth with your hand. “oh my god, ‘samu this is so much. what even is today? its not a anniversary right?” you question wondering how you scored such a thoughtful boyfriend.

“no its not y/n, i just thought youd like this gesture more as we havent spent as much time together :)”

“well consider this gesture appreciated i love it and i love you samu.” you say knowing how ooc it is but he deserves to hear it after all this.

“damn baby today was supposed to make you cry not me!! you ruined it >:(“ he jokes with you, teasing how flustered you got after proclaiming your love (not the first time tho might i add)

“well im sorry mr. better twin,” you tease right back.

the rest of the night is filled with laughs, smiles, love, and happiness for you and your lover.

NO BC THAT ONE WAS CUTE. ANYWAYS ARTBREEDER N THEN TEXTS!!

no artbreeder 😠 but i found this!! so... YEAH SJSHSJ

TUMBLR IS BEING N ASS AND ISNT LETTING ME PIST THIS BUT HERE U GO I HOPE U ENJOY!! (also the fish thing is osamu dropping a piece of fish on his lap picking it back up blowing on it n trying to feed it to u. thats so nasty)

#UGH OK ONE MORE N THEN IM DONE!!#michelles 60 follower matchup event

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2021ssajka · 3 years

Text

This month has been very challenging for me. (personal post below, you can read it)

From having plans to go back to the Philippines, to cancelling that plans all together. I initially wanted to go to the PH because I wanted this to be my gift for myself as I am graduating with 2 majors. I wanted to visit my family there and spend time with them, as well as my dad (sick).

My dad and I dont have the best relationship, so it has been even more challenging for me.

Ive been in America for 10 years now and this whole time Ive always wanted to go back and be with my family there since I love them very much and they are a big part of my life. Ive always imagined a nice vacation and going on trips with my cousins. Painting in my little terrace of my childhood home. basically reliving my old life when I was 12. I still kept that dream till now.

I am only now realizing that, that perception of the Philippines I had in my head is still the vision I had when I was 12. I am realizing now that its a fantasy and not the reality.

------

This planning process for the Philippines was super last minute and impulsive, given the pandemic and me finding out my dads condition is not getting better. I booked a flight right away without any plans whatsoever. I was hoping it would be a spontaneous time where my family would bring me around to places and etc. I was even just fine with just staying home and just being in the company of my cousins that I missed so much.

Everyday since I booked that flight, there were complications and drama rising. My dad has becoming paranoid and his narcissistic ways are coming back and has been triggering me. We have been fighting a lot since then which turned into getting more people involved with this fight. Resulted with me having a major panic attack and meltdown that I do not want to go at all.

All the bad memories I had of him in my childhood came back. Everything was coming back to me- everything that I have burned at the back of my head and forgot about. I thought time has healed me but I was wrong. my past trauma came back and I felt like I was stuck into this trip without knowing what I signed up for.

I was not okay for many days. I felt like I was a helpless child he were able to control, manipulate and emotionally/mentally abuse again. I kept praying.

It was then that the Philippines announced that there were implying a travel ban on the day I booked a flight. I felt that this was God’s interfering in order to protect me from him

--------

This has been an eye opening experience for me.

Growing up in a traumatic household and moving to another country made me deal with things differently. I realized that me being overly positive and optimistic and being grateful for everything is a trauma response. Its a survival response.

At a young age, My body did not know how to process these traumatic events and emotions so I shutdown. Its like when you have an accident and your body go on emergency mode and you wont feel the pain. I think that is what my body went through. I remember a time when I was a kid and I was numb for a year. It was through art when I tried healing myself and holding on for hope.

for a long time- till now, everytime those events in my childhood are being talked about, i literally have a panic attack and I shut down. I cannot listen to it or talk about it without crying.

When I moved here. I started a new life. I had a clean slate and I tried to forget everything bad that has happened. Its like I cleared out all the bad memories and held onto the good things, thats why I had such a fixation in my childhood in the Philippines because after a while, I only believed that I had a good childhood there. (i didnt have a right grasp of my real past). This also explains the reason why I wanted to visit that place so bad- bc i can only remember the good things, and I had a breakdown when my bad past caught up to me because that no longer existed in my head.

This explains my fixation in my memories of the Philippines in my art work and why I use happy colors. I only saw that place as the “good place” when in reality there are many bad things happening in that country (not only in my personal life).

ive only realized these things now... 10 years later when everything came back to me as flashbacks when my trauma was triggered. and it explains everything in my life especially in my artworks. it explains why I do what I do and I have such empathy for myself because I realize that the artist in me is the kid in me 10 years ago.

-----

I realized that when I moved here, I viewed the Philippines as my ESCAPE. my safe haven, the place I would want to go back to and retire to since this was my home at the age of 14. I had such yearning for that familiarity when I was living in a foreign place that I developed such fantasy in that place.

I started painting when I was dealing through traumatic events in the Philippines, just when I was about to move here. I used to paint encouraging words in my art, having it as my sense of hope in those challenging times.

I guess that still lives on in my today. I still use my art as my sense of escape and I am only realizing that now. I have always mentioned that these landscapes are my “safe haven” and now I understand why. Ive always referred to my art as a “healing act” but i never really understood why.

I realized that my view of the Philippines is different from reality. I made this to be a romanticized place where I had a nice childhood in but that was not the whole story.

------

This is why it is so hard for me to reference anything negative in my work. Ive always used my art as a positive act, to bring hope and encouragement. I still stand with that. I still resonate with my work and it is still valid. but now I see my work as two sided. Its not only that narrative but also the past that I have forgotten about.

I have always had trouble with my art classes because teachers would always push me to do negative emotions in my work- so not just positive but also the negative aspect of the full spectrum of emotions.

This has always been a difficult task for me because I dont want that. My body rejects it. I used art to heal and they would want me to express the nasty emotions here. now I understand why I react that way.

My mother is also a trauma survivor of my dad. So her, my sister and I share these experiences together. This also comes from an immigrant narrative who had nothing on her back when she came to this country, literally building herself up from dirt. My mom is the one who would always teach me to be grateful, to appreciate what we have and to be positive- to the point that thats all I did. to the point that it buried all the negative emotions and memories that I was not able to heal completely and is now still in that place.

--------

its a lot. its like I just found out a different past that I never knew of. but im so glad I figured this out now. Its like I finally have an explanation why I am who I am today. Everything is valid, there is a reason why dealt with that problem that way and I dont regret it.

Im just so glad I finally have answers. It just explains so much and im mindblown lol

I am not comfortable having this as a narrative of my work even if it is probably the main influence of the work i do. Im also not comfortable of talking about this personal story with other people and in my work.

I just refuse being an abuse survivor as my story... I am more than what I have been through... so im trying to figure that out.

I am now trying to know myself again, my full self.

Im excited to see how this changes my work hehe

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diddlesanddoodles · 4 years

Text

Dumpling ch. 20

(Author’s notes: Posting this one early as a thank you to @thespicynoodle for all the amazing art work they did for Dumpling!)

To Yale’s credit, he did not immediately dismiss her claims of dead people in the walls as the stressed induced imaginings of a lunatic. He waited for her to calm down and then asked her gently, “What do you mean in the walls? Here in the castle?”

She nodded, fighting a fresh wave of tears. “I saw them...when...”

“S’alright. Don’t force yerself. Just take deep breaths and talk when yer good and ready, eh?”

After a moment, she had regained enough composure to begin to explain just how she had managed to come across the catacombs.

“Oh, Dumplin’. No need t’be scared of some dusty old bones,” Yale assured her. “The dead can’t hurt ya.”

“But...”

“Probably been there since the castle was first built thousands of years ago. This place has been destroyed and rebuilt and switched hands so many times over the centuries I wouldn’t be surprised t’know it use to be a human castle. Someone had t’ave built them tunnels after all.”

“Yale...” she said quietly. She was so afraid to say it out loud. “They spoke to me...”

He blinked in confusion and seemed to have trouble understanding exactly what she was trying to say. “The...bones?”

“I’m not crazy...” she sobbed, feeling the shame and fear of not being believed, but Yale hurriedly hushed her.

“Nah, nah. I believe ya!” he assured her, bending his head lower as if to show her his grinning face. “Just...never heard of bones talkin’ before.”

He watched her for a moment, studying her face. “Ya tell Maevis about it?”

She shook her heard as she wiped the moisture from her face with the collar of her smock.

“Just you...”

“Just me?” Yale asked pleasantly surprised. “Well, don’t that make me feel special.”

She could not help but smile at that and it was glorious how it seemed to break apart the heavy stone that seemed to have lodged inside her stomach. The welling of emotion seemed to be drying up and she began to feel a little more in control of herself.

“S’ what did they say?” he asked, propping his head up in his hand. “These chatty bones.”

“I couldn’t understand them at first,” she said. “But they were saying...the prophecy about the King? The one that… why everyone calls him the Gold King...”

Yale looked incredulous and just a bit disappointed. “That’s...odd. I would’ve thought they’d have something a little more interestin’ to say stead of that old thing.”

“But in my dream...the nightmare, I mean...” she said. “It said...he said that someone could see me and was coming...”

“Hm,” Yale pondered that, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “That what has ya scared, eh? Something from the dark’s gonna come after ya?”

"I don’t know...maybe...”

“Well,” said the young giant. “I’ll say this. You’ve had a rough go of it fer as young as ya are. I’m not gonna tell ya yer wrong to be scared, ‘cause if I were ya, I’d be terrified all the time. But if ya can believe anything, ya can believe me in this…"

He pinched her face gently between two fingers. “I ain’t gonna let anything bad happen to ya.”

She did believe him, but even that wasn’t enough to fully erase the questions and concerns. As though sensing her doubt, he squished her face lightly and despite her somber mood,

Nenani could not keep the giggle from escaping. Yale hummed, satisfied.

“Have I ever told you about my family or how I started here?” he asked. Nenani shook her head, still smiling, as she pushed his fingers away. He gave her no paused and scooped her up then settled into his bunk himself. One he made himself comfortable, he sat her down on one of his bent knees. “Well, there’s me Mum. Dad passed some years ago when I was small, around yer age. I’m the oldest and only son and then there’re m’ sisters. I’ve got six younger sisters, lass. Six! Lots of hungry lil’uns running round, gettin’ into scapes and pullin’ hair. I had t’be there fer ‘im when I was still a babe myself.”

Yale paused, lost in thought, and then seemed to snap back to attention. He smiled warmly at her. “And ya remind me a whole lot of ‘em. Th’way they were back then. Suppose that might be why I took such a likin’ t’ya right after I first caught ya.”

He poked her in the belly, grinning when he was able to weasel another giggle from her.

“It was real rough after dad died. Real tough. Mum and me were at it alone just the two of us fer a long while, just trying to keep food in the house and a fire lit. I...didn’t handle it well. Started stealin’ and being a lil shit and makin’ hard fer Mum.” He paused to take a long rejuvenating breath. “I know how hard life can get when ya don’t have just one of yer folks around and had I lost Mum too...I don’t know what I’d done. I was a mess back then. Worried Mum sick that I’d end up arrested or worse. So she got me a job here as a tenderfoot under Farris since he had a reputation fer straightenin’ out snot nosed hooligans like me. M’first day I called Farris fat and he punched me in the face.”

Seeing Nenani’s incredulous expression, Yale laughed. “Oh yeh, I did. It took some time, but he managed to straighten me out right. Hatin’ him fer it fer a while too. But once he saw that I wasn’t entirely hopeless and actually had a brain, he made me his assistant and started teachin’ me about the spices and plants. Gave me responsibilities. A purpose. A direction t’my life that I didn’t have before. And in a lot of ways he saved m’life too. And m’family’s. S’why he call yell and scream and curse at me all he wants all day long and I’ll still be singin’ his praises till the day I’m six feet under the dirt. He made me family.”

“...but don’t you miss your Mom and sisters?”

“A’course! Oh, I write to’ em when I can,” Yale said. “Four of m’sisters are married with lil’uns of their own now. I try to visit ‘em just before th’ winter solstice, but I haven’t been in a long while. Last letter I wrote t’my Mum was just after you came to us actually. Wanna know what she said?”

“What?”

“Well, first she scolded me fer makin’ ya think we were gonna eat ya and makin’ ya cry, but then she also reminded me to remember what it was like right after Dad passed and all that hurt I had inside and how scared I was. She said imagine if ya were one of my lil’ sisters goin’ through all what ya were and to make ya feel like ya had a safe place to just be to get through that hurt.”

He smiled sadly at her and for a moment, he looked much older than he was and she could see the faint traces of his own trauma etched into the lines of his face.

“Now, I know we ain’t ya blood family and maybe we’re not the best role models fer a wee lass, but I think we’re an alright substitution. We do in a pinch, eh?”

Nenani belatedly realized she was crying again, but the fuel that was feeding the tears was an entirely different emotion. “So ya don’t need to be scared no more.”

Gingerly, Yale wiped her cheeks with a corner of his apron. His smile was so comforting to Nenani that she could feel the last flecks of her night terror dissipating and leaving her with a solid sense of warmth and security. Wordlessly, Yale plucked her up again and settled down against his pillow before placing her on his chest and draping one hand over her shoulders and back, rubbing lightly. He began to sing…

Far away in the blue hill valley

Therein lies a weeping willow tree

Its bark is silver

and the leaves are golden

But I care for none of these

Don’t cry my darling

For I am here with you

Though you can no longer see me

I’ll be with you

In the blue hill valley

Sleeping with you

Underneath that weeping willow tree

…………………………………………..

When she woke the next morning, light was spilling through the open curtain to the barracks and she was confused to find that she was all alone. All around her, the other bunks were empty with clear evidence that they had been slept in, but no giants. She found it very odd that she had not been awoken with the rest of them, but as she thought about it further, she decided not to question it and enjoy the relative quiet and comfortable place on Yale’s pillow. However, just as she was drifting back to sleep, the light from the kitchens flickered and she opened her eyes to see Farris standing next to the bed, looking down at her with an amused smirk.

“Enjoy yer pitty sleep, Dumplin’?” he asked. She stretched and tried to bury herself further into plush bedding while making an incoherent mewling sound that translated roughly to ‘I still wanna sleep’. Farris laughed and slapped the wooden support of the bunk above. “Yer burnin’ the mornin’ away, lass. C’mon, up with ya. Yer with me today.”

She mumbled something in reply, but her words muffled by the pillow.

“Well, suit yerself,” Farris replied, walking back through the curtains and yelling back to her, “Ya just wont be gettin’ any breakfast then.”

Nenani pushed herself upright, strands of wild frizzled hair draping over her face and she hollered back. “No! Wait! I want breakfast!”

Nenani rolled down the pillow and hastily clambered down the side of the bunk and stopped just outside the barracks entryway where Farris’s boots blocked her path. He looked down at her expectantly and raised an eyebrow. “Yer lookin’ a lil’ bushy there, lil’un.”

Nenani ran her hands over her head and tried to brush down her wild hair. She had not braided it the day before as she normally did to keep it neat as Lolly had shown her, and having slept with it unbound had left her with quite a mane. Farris watched her try to tame her hair for a moment before shaking his head and bending down, crooking his finger at her and trying not to laugh. “C’mon, lass. Ya can try and manage that thing over yer porridge.”

Farris sat her on the long table with a small helping of porridge and handed a note off to a footman before disappearing into the spice pantry. Kol and Quinn were in the throws of the last big push for the morning’s baking and had no time for morning greetings as servants and footmen flooded in to collect their offerings onto trays and into baskets for the upstairs tables. Herit was on pit duty and still wore his torn shirt, now repaired, but not very well.

“Feeling better?” he asked, smiling at her despite the arduousness of his task.

“Yeah, a lot,” she replied, flushing a little in embarrassment. “It was just a nightmare. Sorry for screaming...”

“I had real bad nightmare once,” Herit told her. “I dreamed that m’ old Gran visited me here and she started yelling at me fer not puttin’ enough sultanas in the scones like she’d taught me,” he said. “Then she turned into Farris, but still had on Gran’s frock and I ended up brunin’ the scones.”

Nenani snorted into her porridge, which Herit deemed a victory, but his smug grin dropped as soon as Farris exited the spice pantry. The spice master pinned the younger Vhasshalan with a warning eye. “I don’t wanna be hearin’ nothin’ about me wearin’ yer Nan’s frock again, Herit.”

“Aye, boss.”

“Good lad. Keep that spit going now, no slackin’. It’ll put some strength into them beans ya call arms.”

Red in the face with both embarrassment and exertion, Herit turned his attention back to turning the iron handle of the spit. A fat boar, just barely showing any color, rotated slowly over the fire. Nenani ate her breakfast, watching the comings and goings of the kitchen in full swing. When no one was looking, Kol ran over and slipped her a piece of sweet roll and then gave the remaining portion to Herit, who gratefully stuffed it into his mouth. When Farris walked back into the main kitchen, the young giant hurriedly began to turn the spit faster to make it appear that nothing was amiss while trying to quickly chew and swallow.

Farris had began to organized a selection of various cloth covered pots and small satchels filled with herbs, placing the lot of them in a basket. Once satisfied, he set a kettle onto to the fire and then took a moment to check the rotating boar. He hummed disapprovingly and turned his head to bark at Herit that he was turning too fast.

“Yer gonna drop dead at that pace,” he warned. “Steady, boy.”

“Avery makes this look so easy...” Herit grunted, wincing as he went. “No wonder he’s built like a bull.”

“Let that be a lesson to put ya off from fightin’ in my kitchen,” Farris laughed. “Think about yer sore arms next time ya get the urge to throw a punch.”

“What’s this about fighting?” Nenani’s head turned at hearing the familiar female voice and she smiled brightly as Lolly stepped down from the servants stairway and into the kitchen.

“Nothing, lass,” Farris assured her. “The tenderfoots got into it last night. Gjerk’s got a busted lip, but that’d be the worst of it.”

Lolly looked Herit up and down with a critical eye. She did not seem impressed. “Brawling at your age? Really. Your mother would swat you.”

“Already did it fer her,” Farris quipped proudly. “Pit duty fer that one today, then Gjerk’s turn tomorrow. A few hours turnin’ a boar will do the trick nicely.”

“I suppose it would,” Lolly said approvingly before turning her attention to Nenani who was standing near the edge of the table. She crouched down, smiling brightly and gently took each of Nenani’s hands in hers, playfully swinging them to and fro. “But I’ve come to check on this one. How are you, my darling?”

“I’m doing good,” Nenani said. She had not seen Lolly very much at all since first arriving in Vhasshal as her duties kept her very busy and it made her that much happier to see her again. Lolly and the other lady servants had been so charitable to her and she had never forgotten that kindness. Lolly laughed lightly, turning her attention to Nenani’s wild mane of unkempt hair. “What are we going to do with all this? Haven’t you been keeping it tied up like I taught you?”

“I have, I promise,” she assured Lolly. “But I didn’t yesterday. I...forgot.”

“She had quite th’adventure yesterday,” Farris added. “Suppose ya heard all about the Ibronian.”

“Creag?” Lolly asked, saying his name almost like a curse. She scowled at the mentioning of it as though it left a sour and unpleasant taste in her mouth. “Yes, I am regretfully very familiar with his person.”

“S’ya hear about him tyrin’ t’kill Jae, then?”

“I did,” Lolly said, looking genuinely concerned. A stark contrast to how Nenani recalled the last time she had spoken about the King’s ward. “He isn’t hurt is he?”

“Nah, the brat’s still in one piece,” Farris assured her. He jerked his head down in gesture towards Nenani. “That one was with ‘im when the Ibrinoan went after ‘im though.”

Lolly’s eyes grew wide.

“What? No!” Lolly turned her attention back to Nenani, seeming to be searching for some evidence of injury or trauma. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? Ah! That bastard, I could skin him.”

“Oh, ho-ho!” Farris laughed, eyes bright with mirth at Lolly’s verbal slippage. “Language, lass!”

“Oh, shut it, Farris. I’m sure she’s heard far worse down here with you lot.”

“Oh, aye,” he agreed. “That she has. But narry ya worry. He wasn’t interested in that one anyway. They’re both fine and unharmed. Rattled a bit maybe, but nothing more. Did manage to lose her marker though.”

“Oh, did she,” Nenani felt her face flush as Lolly hummed thoughtfully, scanning her over with a critical eye. “Well, I see you’ve gotten her a new one.”

“Keral found her wanderin’ the halls alone,” Farris explained as he retold the story of the prior day’s escapades. He seemed to have been able to find the humor in it and didn’t seem to be at all angry and she was very grateful for that. “And ya know how he gets with ‘em.”

“Oh, you haven’t any standing this that defense,” Lolly reprimanded. “You’re just as terrible. You all had this one absolutely petrified. Took us over an hour to convince her she was safe and no one was actually going to eat her.”

Farris just shrugged noncommittally. He was not denying the accusation.

“Best way to keep wayward humans from wandering onto the grounds is t’make ‘em too scared to even try,” he said. “’Course that was before I decided I’d keep her. Then she caught the reap.”

Lolly’s eyes turned sad for a moment and she nodded knowingly.

“So it’s true then?” he asked her suddenly, bringing the topic back to Creag. “He’s bein’ sent off?”

“Yes,” she said. “He was escorted to the border this morning.”

“Suppose the Queen’s not too happy about that.”

“It was her idea,” Lolly replied. “His majesty was going to have him serve a small sentence and return back to her service, but she recommended that he be sent back home.”

“Really? Well, I find that shockin’.”

“I know what people have been saying about her. And while I don’t think she has not been deserving of some of it, Queen Rosanna is making an effort to conform to our ways.”

“The humans ya mean.”

“Yes. She’s been very receptive to my and the other ladies advice when we speak of their virtues. The war is over. These people are broken and lost and mean no harm to us. I think we finally began to get through to her and I believe that might have been what angered Creag into action.”

“That’s why he went after Jae? ‘Cause he was pissed his mistress might be changin’ her tune?”

“I don’t know this for a fact,” Lolly replied. “But the day before yesterday was when I suggested she try and make amends with Jae or at the very least allow him to properly apologize for his behavior. As a good faith gesture to the King at the very least. His majesty has been worried that Jae hasn’t come to see him in so long. Since the wedding, I believe. She must have noticed her new husband was not happy about that. And then yesterday Creag did what he did. And now here we are speaking of it.”

Farris leaned against wall, humming contemplatively. “Hm.”

“I was actually hoping to speak with Jae,” Lolly said, craning her head looking about the room. “He is here is he not?”

“Aye,” Farris replied with a nod. “King’s orders were to keep ‘im down here till he collected the brat himself. Bart’s puttin’ ‘im to some weed pullin’ out in the yard. Gotta keep them little hands busy or they’ll find their own trouble.”

“Ah, good. I will go to him later,” she said, running her fingers over the brush of Nenani’s hair. “For now, though, I think I need to fix this one’s hair before she starts attracting birds.”

“Attracting birds?” Nenani asked bewildered. Farris grinned at them both.

“She’s sayin’ birds might wanna start buildin’ their nests in yer hair,” he chuckled. “If they haven’t already.”

Nenani opened her mouth to protest, but could not come up with an adequate response.

“Hm,” Lolly mused, again studying the whole of Nenani’s person. “Maybe a bath first and a change of clothes. Farris, could I trouble you for-”

“Already ahead of ya, lass,” Farris replied, pulling the boiling kettle from the fire and setting it down atop a wooden trivet. “I’ve got a basin ready in the pantry and her spare clothes are in the chest on the shelf just there.”

Lolly nodded approvingly. She gathered Nenani up and tucked her into the crook of one arm and reached for the kettle with her free hand. “If I didn’t know any better, Farris, I’d say you’re starting to become quite good at this.”

“Ain’t nothing to knowin’ when someone needs a bath, lass,” he laughed.

“I do not stink!” Nenani snapped, incredulous.

Farris did not reply and Herit just laughed.

…………………………………….

She had forgotten how nice a hot bath felt, especially as the weather was increasingly cold and rainy. The basin was quite large and its normally use was for pealing giant rhotas, which were just very large potatoes. So she had plenty of room to splash about and Lolly even indulged her and allowed her a few minutes of free play before getting down to the business of actually washing. Her hair, as Lolly warned her, was a beast to get washed and untangled. But at last, Lolly exited the spice pantry with a clean and brushed Nenani. Hair neatly plaited and tied.

“I’ll talk with the girls about making you some more clothes,” she muttered as she rummaged through the small chest of clothes, all of which had been made by her and her fellow lady servants. “You’ll be growing out of these ones in no time. And a scarf too, I think. And some boots, as well. These slippers are starting to wear awfully thin and – oh! Jae there you are! I had hoped to...why are you all wet?”

Jae had wordlessly entered the kitchens, red faced and fuming. And completely soaked from his head to his toes. Out in the courtyard, Bart was hysterically laughing. Upon hearing Lolly, both Quinn and Kol glanced over and upon seeing the boy’s sorry state, they too let lose a bout of hearty laughter.

“Yer lookin’ like a drowned rat!”

“Fuck off,” Jae growled.

“What happened?” Nenani asked.

“The gutter was clogged,” he growled, not really looking anyone in the face. “I unclogged it.”

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“No,” Jae replied. “Not really...”

Jae leaped easily down the few steps and into the kitchen proper and made a bee line towards the hearth, ostensibly to warm himself up. Lolly stopped him, blocking his path with her foot.

“You need to change out of those clothes, young man. You’ll catch sick.”

“Fantastic,” Jae replied flatly, glaring up at the large woman. “But it doesn’t matter anyway since I haven’t any spare clothes.”

“You have plenty in your room,” Lolly replied, returning his glare. “You remember, don’t you? Your room? The one you haven’t even seen in weeks?”

“Well I can’t get to them now,” Jae snapped, raising his voice and becoming visibly agitated. “Warren says I can’t leave till he says so. So here I’m staying. In wet clothes. Because fuck it!”

“Don’t take that tone with me, son,” Lolly shook her head disapprovingly. “What has gotten into you of late? You disappear for weeks at a time and when you do show up you’re in the Library and you don’t speak to anyone-”

“You mean I don’t speak to you,” he spat.

“Or the King,” Lolly spat back. “Do you have any idea just how worried he’s been?”

“Obviously not enough to actually come and find me!” Jae yelled angrily, his voice breaking. “You tell me that I’m wrong for not going to him? Why did he never come to check to see if I was okay? Because I’m the joke. Oh let’s have a big laugh at Jae! Fucking idiot can’t do anything right. It’s so funny how he got drunk and spilled gravy on the Queen! So embarrassing for him. Let’s laugh at the poor fucking orphan boy who can’t even sleep in his own damn room anymore because some boulder headed lunatic thinks I’m somehow going to kill Vhasshalan’s unborn heir. Isn’t that fucking hilarious!”

No one was laughing anymore and Herit’s winding of the spit had slowed almost to a stop. Both Quinn and Kol were frozen and staring, bowls of dough stopped mid-knead. From the outside courtyard, Yale and Avery poked their heads inside, curious at the commotion.

“Jae,” Lolly said softly, her words painted with faint concern. “None of that is true...”

“You wanna know why I spend so much time up in the tower with Barnaby and Maevis?” he asked, breathless with emotion and anger and pain. “BECAUSE THEY DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’ A FUCKING IDIOT!”

“Alright,” Farris snapped, appearing from behind Lolly. He glowered down at the human boy and reached down to sweep Jae up in his two calloused hands, not very gently either. “That’s enough of yer bellyaching, ya lil’shit.”

Jae was not happy at all as he was lifted off of the ground and he struggled violently, tears blurring his vision. “Farris, I swear to the fucking Gods if you don’t put me down right now-!”

Farris deftly grasped the boy’s face between his fingers, forcing him to maintain eye contact. “You’ll be quiet is what yer gonna be, boy. Do you understand me?”

Jae’s breathed hard through his nose, nostrils flaring. He glared into the kitchen master’s face, but did not say anything. Farris brought his face closer to Jae’s and lowered his voice in warning. “I said...do you understand?”

Jae jerked his head in something akin to a nod. Satisfied, Farris tucked Jae under one arm and turned to Lolly. “We don’t have anything fer ‘im to change into. Ya mind fetchin’ him something, lass?”

Lolly looked as though she wanted to say something, but stopped herself. She spared one sad glance towards Jae before nodding to Farris. “I can do that. I won’t be long.”

As Lolly turned to rush up the servants entrance stair well, Farris turned and disappeared into the spice pantry and closed the door behind him.

………………………….

Nenani sat quietly on the table, staring at the green door and worried. Since she first met Jae, she had sensed a sadness about him, hidden under his jokes and laughter. And it made her incredibly sad to know her friend had been hurting and not once had she tried to help him.

She was a terrible friend and it made her feel wretched.

“Cheer up, Dumplin’,” Yale told her as he took an empty seat near her. “Jae will be fine.”

“He was really sad,” Nenani answered back without looking away from the green door. Her dejected and sad frown gave Yale pause, and he reached out nudged her shoulder. When she turned her doleful eyes to him, he sighed.

“Remember what I told ya last night?” he asked her. She nodded. “Well, he’s going through that hurt too. Best thing ya can do fer ‘im to keep being his friend, eh? He thinks just ‘cause we give ‘im a hard time means we ain’t ‘is friends, but it ain’t true. Don’t gotta be ‘round here long before ya realize we haze all the tenderfoots. He’s just growin’ up and confused. Old enough to know some things and too young to know anything else. He ain’t the same lil’ urchin the King dragged back from the moors all them years ago. When ya get t’be around his age you’ll understand. The time between being a kid and becoming an adult is really hard and confusing.”

“...will I be that angry?” she asked, not entirely following.

“I’m ain’t no prophet,” Yale shrugged. “But maybe. Ya both have a lot in common, losing yer folks young. That pain can make ya real angry if ya don’t know what t’do with it.”

She did not find that to be much consolation, but she nodded anyway. Lolly returned a little over twenty minutes later with a small bundle and without any greetings to the others, she went straight for the green door and knocked lightly.

“It’s me, Farris,” she said. “I have his clothes.”

The door opened a crack and there were some words exchanged that were too quiet for anyone else to hear. Finally, Lolly nodded and turned back towards the stairway as the green door closed shut once more.

Yale’s attempt at distraction was to have Nenani name all the herbs and vegetables as he went about his work prepping for the afternoon luncheon. Avery made himself a nuisance of himself by walking near their work table every so often and try to convince her that she was mispronouncing the names.

“It’s not pars-lee, lass. It’s pear-shly.”

“No it’s not,” she said as he walked away. “Pars-lee.”

“Pear-shly!” he yelled back with a cheeky grin.

He would repeat the exercise whenever he walked by and over the course of a half hour, its scope extended beyond just the items that they were working with to any random fruit, herb, or vegetable. Yale was no help and allowed the torment, finding it too amusing.

“Tay-mat-a,” Avery quipped as he walked by with a basket of venison heads to be boiled down, heading out into the courtyard.

“Tomato!” Nenani yelled back at him.

Avery poked his head back inside and answered back, “Poy-ta-ta!”

“POTATO!”

From her vantage point, she could just see Avery’s back as he turned towards the courtyard, but he stopped and turned completely around, hurrying back into the kitchen. He plopped his basket of deer heads onto a counter and peeked back through the archway.

Yale stared at his fellow cook bewildered. “What’s all this?”

“The King’s in the courtyard,” Avery replied in a hushed whisper.

Yale started. “What now?”

“The King!” Avery turned to look at Yale with fervent eyes, a mixture of excitement and confusion. “He’s in the yard right now!”

Yale was immediately on his feet and rushed to the archway, peeking out curiously. Nenani saw every muscle in the black haired giant’s body stiffen.

“Oh, fuck. He is.”

“I wasn’t lying!” Avery protested, still in a hushed whisper.

“Well so much’a what comes outta yer gob is rubbish,” Yale countered. “I had t’make sure.”

“Ah, go fuck yerself, Yale.”

“Not in front of the King, I ain’t!”

Avery looked like he wanted stay mad, but his scowl broke and he snickered. Something outside caught both their attentions and they scrambled away from the doorway and stood stiffly to the side. A Vhasshalan guard, dressed in the same type of boiled leather armor as captain Rheil, walked through. He scanned the kitchen, eyes falling to all persons inside.

“Over here please, gentleman,” he said to Avery and Yale, gesturing with a jerk of his head for them to stand off to the side and away from the door. Both cooks moved with alacrity and stood straight and stiff. He pointed to Herit. “You, over here too.”

Herit looked panicked. “B-but...but I can’t stop spinning the spit sir, it’ll burn!”

“I’m not going to repeat myself, lad.”

Poor Herit was shaking, looking between the guard and the green door and knowing very well what Farris would have to say of he saw Herit walk away from pit duty. Guard's orders or none. With extreme reluctance, Herit stepped away and moved to stand next to Avery and Yale. The guard spotted Nenani on the table and did a double take, blinking. “Ah...uh, y-you’re fine there, human.”

“Oh...okay,” she replied awkwardly. There wasn’t many places she would have been able to go in any case. She couldn’t climb table legs like Jae.

“William, please,” said King Warren as he stepped into the kitchen. The air seemed thinner suddenly as everyone seemed to breath in all at once. He was much as Nenani remembered him, but he was dressed more formally than she had ever seen and his hair had actually been pulled back into a plait. “These men have plenty to do without us interrupting them. Please, continue as you were. I don’t wish to distract you from your duties.”

The King nodded to each of the kitchen staff present and he eyes fell to Nenani and he smiled warmly. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, little ma’am. I do hope these fine fellows have been taking good care of you.”

All of a sudden, Nenani lost all sense of what she should be doing with her hands and her face felt hot. She nodded.

“A-are you here to see Jae?” She asked, hoping she wasn’t stepping out of line. She suddenly realized she had not curtsied. Did she need to curtsy? How did one curtsy again?

“I am,” he replied with no inflection of irritation. “I’ve come to collect him, actually.”

There was a part of her that was aware that she was being impertinent and she really just should remain silent, but she decided it was worth the risk. “He’s been really sad. But he won’t say it. And he’s really angry too, because he’s hurting. I think...I think he misses how things were before the wedding. Uh, your majesty.”

She bobbed awkwardly in a pathetic attempt at a curtsy. Her heart thrummed alarmingly in her chest, hoping she had not insulted the King or spoke out of turn. But the King did not look angry at all. He looked sad in the same way she had seen Jae look sad.

“Thank you,” he told her, voice gentle and he sounded sincere. “Thank you for taking care of him. He is very dear to me.”

“You should tell him,” she said. “It would mean more if you told him.”

The King nodded thankfully before turning his attention to the green door. As though sensing, his Majesty’s presence, Farris pushed the door open and stepped through. He bent down in a shallow bow to King Warren. No words were spoken as the King walked to the door, giving Farris a nod before entering. Farris closed the door behind the monarch and stepped aside as the guard took post in front. The kitchen master gave the guard a once over and snorted as he moved away. A glance to his left and upon seeing the boar over the fire standing still, jerked his head towards Herit who was decidedly NOT at the hearth.

“GET YER ARSE BACK ON THAT SPIT!”

Herit leaped back to his place and began to spin in earnest, sweating and panicked. “S-sorry!”

Farris loomed over poor Herit, laying into him, but Nenani’s attention was drawn away as she was suddenly swept up and carried out through the archway.

“W-what?” Nenani looked up to see Avery’s face. He grinned down at her.

“Got a job fer ya, Dumplin’,” he told her.

“What job?” she asked, frowning with suspicion. He walked along the side of the wall to a small window set near the ground. It was the window that looked into the spice pantry. He sat her down carefully and stepped back. She looked at him confused. “What?”

“See what the King’s sayin’,” he whispered. “Yer small enough no one’s gonna notice ya.”

“I-I don’t wanna get in trouble!” She replied, matching his hushed whisper.

“Ya wont!” he assured her before slipping back inside the kitchens.

She stared incredulously at the spot where Avery had been and then looked around the courtyard to find it quite empty. Bart and Gjerk were no where to be seen and neither was anyone else. Her ears prickled as she picked up the faint sound of the King’s voice and she turned to the window. It was dirty and obscured by weeds. Careful and trying not to make a sounds, she knelt down near the edge of the window and listened.

“Are you going to speak to me at all?” the King asked.

She wiped some of the dirt from the window and through it, she could see Jae sitting next to the basin, his hair wet, but now dressed in dry clothing. His eyes were red as though he had been crying.

“Jae, I know you’ve been avoiding me these last weeks. But this silence is not helping. I cannot fix if I do not know what is wrong.”

“I just want to be left alone,” Jae replied, his voice raw. “I know your busy.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t make time for you. Gods above, I rely on you to give me an excuse not to have to speak with Lord Eldherst. I’ve had to sit through seventeen meetings with that old fart. He is convinced that the south moor would be the perfect spot to erect the new armory.”

Jae’s morose face cracked a smile. “Heh. Serves you right.”

The King seemed to take heart in his ward’s small smile. “Please tell me what you want of me.”

Jae’s smile faded and he looked down at his feet, pained. “I don’t need anything from you that you’ve not already given me. I know...I know I’ve been a brat. I haven’t exactly made this marriage thing easy for you and I’m sorry for what happened at the wedding. I thought it would be easier for me to just...not be around while you and the Queen...y’know. Got to know each other?”

The King looked tired and as Jae spoke, he seemed to wilt. “Rosanna does not hate you, Jae, if that what you fear. She wants a chance to apologize to you properly.”

“Why? What does she have to apologize for?”

“For driving you away. From me.” Jae had spent most of the conversation staring at his feet, but upon hearing that, he looked up. “You are very dear to me, Jae. I owe you so much that I could never put into words and will be in debt to you for the rest of my life.”

“You don’t owe me anything Warren,” Jae snapped. “I was gonna die out there if you hadn’t found me. You took me in, clothed and fed me, you even taught me to read! I don’t want to be a burden or to get in the way. I don’t feel like there’s a place for me here anymore. So, it’s just easier this way.”

The King crouched down so as to be eye level with the human. “Why would you ever think you’re in the way?”

“You’re gonna have a kid soon,” Jae replied, scrubbing fiercely at his leaking eyes. “There isn’t a place for me by your side anymore. I...I k-know I’m not...I’m not your son, so...”

Jae’s words broke and he shook with real effort to hold back his emotions. King Warren looked awestruck and horrified. Then without a word, he reached out his arms and wrapped them around Jae, drawing the sobbing youth into him and tucking him into the crook of his shoulder.

“What would make you ever believe that?” the King demanded. “Of course you are my son. From the moment we left those moors, I took on that mantle and I will never betray that vow. You are my son, Jae. And I love you dearly.”

Jae’s eyes were wide and he shook as he began to cry and hiccup. His face disappeared as he buried it into the King’s shoulder.

“Of course you are, you daft boy!” the king answered, though Nenani did not hear the question. She felt her cheeks and there were wet. But she was not sad. She felt happy and relieved and looked down at the King of Vhasshal, an imposing giant with the power of an entire kingdom behind him. And there was Jae. A human. Small and penniless. And she felt so happy for them.

The back of her shirt was abruptly yanked upwards and she was swept up from her spot on the ground and lifted high into the air. A warn calloused hand wrapped around her middle and she found herself the focus of a very unamused Farris. “Just what in seven hells d’ya think yer doin’?”

“Nothing...” she replied meekly.

“Nothing,” he echoed back, clearly seeing through her. “’Nothing’ she says. First yer caught stealin’ from th’ King and now I catch ya spyin’ on ‘im? Yer sure determined to see them dungeons, ain’t ya, Dumplin’?”

“No!” she said, worried now. “I didn’t...I wasn’t! It...it was Avery’s idea!”

Farris covered her with his hand, muffling her cries of protest and shook his head with a long suffering sigh. “Yer hopeless, lass. Right ‘n properly hopeless.”

#Dumpling #fantasy story #gt #g/t #giant #tiny #Vhasshal #KING OF VHASSHAL #warren #jae #farris #nenani #yale #avery #lolly #angst

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afterthelastreset · 4 years

Text

Krisei Zodiac Event Pisces Week

Pisces Zodiac Sign Info Gotten From:

https://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/pisces/

“Pisces are very friendly, so they often find themselves in a company of very different people. Pisces are selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back.

Pisces is a Water sign and as such this zodiac sign is characterized by empathy and expressed emotional capacity.”

💧Pisces Week

(This the entire element Is water Im going to base the element off that with the au Ocean rune or just water scenes, since in the rules were aloud to do stuff based off the element of the Zodiac sign.)

Day 1:

The beach. A wonderful place to go on a hot day for anyone with plenty to do and see and so much activities for anyone even if you weren't a swimming person. Building sandcastles. Getting a tan. Going swimming. Just relaxing with a good book or painting the scenery. Volleyball. Collecting seashells. Snorkling or diving and seeing all the cool fish and underwater life. There was also the occasional fisherman and someone doing watersports like surfing, water skying, jet boats, a whole lot of fun on the beautiful waves and deep blue sea- Or if you were the pair of friends in question, you'd be sitting at a picnic table under the shade and snacking on the food you got. Milkshakes ain't got NOTHIN' on the heat here now, except maybe the chocolate ones they served. Chocolate milkshakes was always the best in his opinion as he happily ate and watched all the other people running around and doing whatever they wanted to do on this smoldering hot day, it was too hot for him though sadly. Fur and all but the scenery was really pretty, even more so now that it was sunny and not cloudy like it had been recently. So of course he'd drag his friend out of the house and into the glorious great outdoors!!......Buuut they were a little busy looking at a little piece of drift wood they had found while walking In the hot sun before being dragged to the giant umbrellaed picnic tables of the beach resort. They'd been doing that for quite a while actually.

"Kris?" The human hummed not looking up at the other one across from them. "What are you doing there?"

Instead of looking up from their lap they just shrugged. "Carving somthin'."

he frowned. he knew Kris wasn't a big fan of being in public, but this wasn't exactly what he had in mind for the two of them to do when he dragged the brown haired human out of the house. SO hhe smiled politely and asked. "Really? Whatcha carving now?"

"You'll see. Almost done," they mumbled still not looking up from their position and Ralsei just groaned and sat down into his seat.

he sighed and went back to his coco milkshake then. Watching as people still walked by and once and a while looked up just to see Kris still carving something with their carving knife and keeping it out of sight of the other until they suddenly brought it up and finally held it out to him. And in their hands was a small little carved out fish. he smiled and took the small gift from them and looked at the neatly carved little goldfish he was just handed. If it wasn't obviously made of wood then she would've sworn it was a real goldfish. They always had a nack for this thing and found Kris giving a small smile back, Ralsei couldn't help but stand up to go hug his friend.

"This is beautiful Kris! Thank you!"

"Your welcome."

Day 2:

*This takes place in the Au OceanFellrune since I wanted to try exploring this au more*

Well this certainly was a pickle wasn't it. Imagine just going for a swim with your best friend and enjoying a nice day at the beach to just relax, simple right? Yeah- Nope. A storm had blown in unexpectedly and swept through the sea just a few hours after they arrived. All he wanted was to just relax around on his floaty, not be swept out to the middle of the gigantic lake with no way back..Well, he could swim but those waves didn't look so promising against his mediocre swimming skills, at least if he stayed on the floaty he could stay afloat and not worry about sinking.

But now he had another problem...The sky was starting to get darker by the minute and he wasn't too sure which direction was the way back to shore anymore. It was kinda hard to tell with the waves being so tall and him getting tossed back and forth like a ragdoll on a beach ball wasn't the best feeling in the world, and he was starting to feel like puking. Man....he was starting to get tired of this-

"HELP!! ANYONE?!" Don't ask why he thought it was a good idea to start shouting for a friend who couldn't help him, might've been just a reflex or a hope but it would soon lead to more bad than good...Or would it? "HELP?! HEL-"

A wave chose that exact moment to rear it's ugly head and crash down over the poor human's body, the wind was knocked outta him like a rock slammed into her. Immediately air bubbles surrounded his form as he unceremoniously screamed from the hurtful impact, darkness surrounded his form as the stormy waves above continued to rattle about like some sort of punisher. It was surprisingly....calm in the dark black surrounding him. Almost like the night. Completely silent. A peaceful way to go if she didn't want to die.

It was when he turned and found two pink eyes and a mouth full of teeth staring at him did he scream again.

You know....It's really troubling trying to find some peace somewhere where there's not a lot available just swimming around, so imagine his luck when he stumbled across a seemingly dumb person just floating about in the middle of his territory. Kinda dumb being all the way out here in the middle of the dam storm, but who was he to judge. A human's a human. A quick wave was able to knock whoever the person was over and into the water where he waited. He grumbled just thinking about it... But that thought soon vanished after seeing her face.

UGH- He hated puny fighters. This one wasn't worth the trouble...Not enough courage on her. He also didn't appreciate the bubbles shoved in his face when she screamed again and started kicking up towards the surface. His face scrunched up in annoyance. Did everyone always have to be so rude when they see a gigantic aquatic goat monster looking at them? Oh well. At least he got to do the scaring part he always liked.

Ounce he made it back up through the swaying surface, coughing and spitting out out hislungs, a dark shadow loomed out from under him. In a split second the shadow had bust through the waves with ease. Water splashed over him, almost sending him down under the water again.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOOOOL!!!" His raspy voice boomed over the noise of the waves and wind. "Those who enter my territory are doomed to DIE! Wha- H-HEY!" He flinched back when he yelped and instinctively grabbed onto him to keep from being drowned down by a wave. "HEY! Do you have a death wish! Those who ever as much as touch me are bound to- HEY! STOP DROWNING WHEN IM TRYING TO THREATEN YOU!!"

With a blub sound another wave sent him under. He groaned. Did his enemies ALWAYS have to make things more difficult like this? He stuck his hand back under the waves and a moment later he pulled the shivering, sputtering human back out of the bobbing water. he coughed and spat out some of the salt water, heaving and looking up at him.

".....*sigh* You know what? Screw this. My voice isn't worth some drowned human."

He began turning in the opposite direction and making swimming through the waves look like a breeze. he gave him a confused. "Where-....W-Where are we g-g-going?"

"Im dumping you on the shore. You're not worth the trouble of straining my voice."

Day 3:

IT WAS HOT!!

A lot hotter than what he was really used to, and to be perfectly honest, he didn't enjoy having the burning feeling in his lungs, or the amount of ssweat running down his body, or the heat baring down on himself. What was wrong with enjoying a nice inside inside and relaxing? Maybe cuddled up together in a nice air conditioned room, watching the live action of Romeo and Juliet? That was a beautiful tale is he did say so himself. But Noooo- he just had to go running today of all days on the beach. When the sun was fricking making it almost 80 DEGREES!! He stopped and heaved his lungs out, hands on his knees and gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Soft foosteps rang out behind him and soon someone stopped next to him. It took a few moments but he eventually looked up into the smiling face of human.

"W-What art you..*wheeze* smiling at?!"

He laughed. "Ralsei, when was the last time you even took a relaxing jog?"

"KRIS?! Running on the beach with fur is too much. C-can’t we just go swimming instead?)

He laughed again and very easily stood on one foot and stretched the other out into a ballet pose. "Ralsei, exercise never hurt anyone. I know I enjoy it.~''

''THAT'S BECAUSE YOU’RE BUILT FOR THIS!! W-With NO fur!! I-I feel horrible! Why did I bake and eat so many cakes!?”

"Oh don't be so cranky." He rolled his eye not paying him any attention. "We still have half a mile before we can start back."

He heard his lover groan behind him and he chuckled again, well the sooner they finished the sooner they could go back. It was just then he heard wheezing sounds behind him and he turned around....and blinked. His boyfriend was no where to be seen. Until he looked down that is and saw a puddle of exhausted ghost monster on the sand.

"RALSEI!!"

Day 4:

*merman Kris braces legs and goes on land to ask Ralsei a question*

The screams of children swarm about the place as he stood outside the building. He never did like the thought of screaming little munchkins running around him, or their dirty little hands grabbing onto him, or sneezing on him-; He shuddered just thinking about the germs. Funny coming from someone who's eaten raw fish, but he was free to not like what he wanted. But, he was here for a different reason. Not for the kids-

"ACK-"

One of the small buggers crashed into his legs while running around. The little girl shook her head before squealing in delight and getting up to run after another child. Playing tag he presumed.

"Kris?"

He jumped and whirled around into the curious face of the very person he wanted to see...And who he sometimes got mad with. No he didn't like it when he held his hand. Or when he gently kissed him. Or when he smiled and hugged him- He hissed at himself which made him frown and raise a brow.

"Um. Are you ok?"

"NO!...Yes! Im fine. Im fine!"

His crooked smile didn't seem to faze him more and only resulted in more confusion. This wasn't going as he planned was it? Nope! He could see it in his eyes as he looked him up and down. It was pretty rare to see Kris on dry land, with legs, he seemed to despise legs and preferred to sticking to his underwater domain. ….So why was he here in the first place?

"Ok....Um. What're you doing here? I thought you hated land."

"I do!....I- Uh-" His face flushed a light pink, and he mentally cursed himself for stuttering. "I-....C-Came to see you."

"Really?" He nodded and he became a litle redder. Of course, he giggled at the cute sight as soon as it happened and he groaned. Did he always have to respond with his cute little giggles or when- HOLY CRAP! he grabbed his hand! His eyes shined like little gems up at him, and he actually gulped. "That's so nice of you. Did you want something?"

This was it. This was the moment he came for. So of course he opened his mouth-....And a high pitched squeak came out. They froze. A look of abosolute horror coming over his face. he however went wide eyes and gasped. ….Oh no. Not this. He didn't like where this was going- he squealed in glees and immediately grabbed his face.

"THAT WAS SO CUTE!! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE A BABY!!"

His face blew up a bright red and he sputtered. "I-IM NOT A CHILD!!" he cooed and booped his nose. "S-Stop! I didn't come t-t-to be treated like a child!"

he hummed. "Then what did you come here for?"

"I want a date Ralsei! I h-hate it when...you...….." His eyes widened. " D*MMIT!! Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" he faked innocently batted his eyelashes and giggled once he drowned in the red sea of blush. He was always so easy to fluster like this. So, it was perfectly natural to place a small kiss on his cheek. The result was weird drowning fish noises and him reaching up to try and fail to limply pull his face away from him. he giggled that cursed cute smile. "I'm really honored you came all this way to see me and I'd love to go out with you."

His mouth dropped. "R-Really?!"

he nodded. "But I have to finish work first. Is that ok?";

He nodded silently and he patted his cheek before letting go. A couple children came up to him and wisked him away into a game he didn't understand and he didn't move. Just stand there red faced and silently watching after him...…..He gulped heavily and slowly leaned back up into standing position.

He needed to get better control of his expressions.

Day 5:

*more merman Kris*

What had made him come to this? What lunatic controlling fate made the grand decision of making him fall for such a small weak little thing like him? He would probably never know, but the way he was giggling and holding his very red face right now in his soft little hands. He could always turn around, swim away, and never look back-....but he mustve put some kind of spell on him as he continued to gush at him.;

"I could eat you right know." He gave a small growl, showing on his fangs to give his point. "Know one would know and you always risk yourself by coming you know.''

he smiled. "You won't do that."

His brow raised. "How can you be so sure?"

he smiled wider. "Because your face tells a lot more than you think."

D*M IT ALL TO NEXT HELL!! He cursed himself for being like this, for being so weak and vulnerable around someone who wasn't even a threat to him. What would happen if some danger did come along?! NO! He didn't like the way he looked at him with those big beautiful eyes, or the way he was so patient with his stupid arse, or the way he was always squishing his cheeks in his soft paws and calling him cute- NOPE! NOT AT ALL!! And he definitely didn't spend last night laying awake thinking about how cute and soft he was! Nope! And he definitely didn't hit his head trying to catch him a fish she loved just to see him smile at him-

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

…...Ok. Maybe- But that's a very small maybe.

Day 6:

*even more merman Kris*

"S-Stop it."

"Why? You're acting like a child."

"Because I don't like physical contact. And I'd like to see you prove me wrong.'' He made a move to pry his hands from his face but that idea was scraped when he felt something small on his face.

OH SWEET MOTHER OF HECK-!! WAS THIS GOATvSERIOUSLY-?! he gave a small kiss on his cheek which he froze at, immediately his face broke out into a watermelon red. His hands were shoved in front of his face as to hide his embarrassment.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH- STOP THAT!!"

She just giggled and gave him another small kiss. More muffled screams followed, before the flustered screaming merman turned around and jumped from the doc red faced still holding his face as Ralsei giggled and waved good bye.

“Bye, Kris. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Day 7:

*ralsei helping Kris with his fear of water*

He shouldn't. He couldn't......HE CAN'T!!

"I can't do this."

The human whimpered out as his red eyes gazed over the body of water that was in front of him. Already he could feel his body sweat and legs wobbling as he stared at it. A small black hand grabbed his making him flinch and look at the smaller demon next to him.

Ralsei blinked his pink eyes at him and smiled. "Oh, come on. It'll be ok." To prove his point, he stepped into the kiddy pool still holding his hand. "See? It's safe and sound."

He shook his head. "I-I don't think t-t-this is a good idea, Ralsei." He gulped down the lump in his throat. "I-I think it would be m-much better if I-I watched..through a window."

Ralsei still didn’t back down as he pulled Kris forwards more and yanked him a bit forwards enough for the human to yelp and freeze when the water came up to his ankles and shuddered at the cool feeling around his feet but managed to smile for Ralsei sake. Making the goat monster smile back.

“See? I told you it’d be alright”

@krisei-world

#KriseiZodiacWeek

9 notes · View notes

dawnofdaybreak · 4 years

Text

Title: Another Cliche’ Love Story

Pairing: Jongho

Rating: NC-17

Summary: In which Minho and Jonghyun are best friends but things get complicated.

[aff link] [ao3 link]

[part one] [part two]

Part Three (Finished)

Minho isn’t quite sure how to describe the feeling he experiences when he wakes with Jonghyun’s naked body pressing back comfortably against his. The feeling is reminiscent of the feeling he gets when he scores the winning goal for a soccer game or aces a test he didn’t study for. It’s so much more self-satisfying than that though, the content emotions running through him right now are so intense, Minho’s sure he’s never experienced this before.

He watches Jonghyun’s flawless face as he sleeps, the way his chest moves up and down with tiny breaths. Minho brushes away a few silver strands of hair that were covering the other’s forehead. Jonghyun is so beautiful and Minho’s so unbelievably happy to be able to call Jonghyun his.

The elder male begins to stir a little, causing Minho to pull his hand back, but he doesn’t move away from Jonghyun’s warmth.

“Were you watching me sleep?” Jonghyun asks groggily.

Minho tries to suppress his smile. “No.”

“Liar.”

“Okay, you caught me.”

Jonghyun inches closer and presses a light kiss to Minho’s chest which is heaving a bit with laughter. “Minho-yah.” Jonghyun uses his index finger to trace small circles around Minho’s left nipple which is very distracting in the brunet’s opinion. “I’m hungry.”

Minho bursts out laughing at what Jonghyun is suggesting he do for him. “Fine hyung, I’ll make us something to eat.”

Jonghyun smiles in triumph as Minho gets out of bed, dressing himself in a pair of discarded boxers on the floor, completely unsure if they’re his or Jonghyun’s – not like it matters anyway.

It doesn’t take long for Minho to maneuver himself around Jonghyun’s kitchen and prepare sandwiches for them both. When he returns to the elder’s room with said sandwiches and a glass of orange juice, Jonghyun is nowhere to be found. Minho frowns until his ears pick up on the sound of water running. He smirks as he sets the food and beverage onto Jonghyun’s small bedside table.

The pair find themselves quenching their passion yet again, as lukewarm water cascades all around them. Jonghyun’s legs are wrapped tightly around Minho’s waist as the latter’s skin burns from the feel of the elder’s lips moving across his body.

“Oh God Minho.”

Their pace is slow, languid almost, but satisfying all the same. Minho moans out his hyung’s name as he feels that familiar twisting in his gut. He grunts as he climaxes into Jonghyun’s heat, ungracefully locking lips with the shorter male. Jonghyun comes right after, hand curled around his own member as the water begins to run cold.

After the intensity and shock of their first night spent together passes over, words that Minho dreaded hearing left Jonghyun’s lips.

“We need to talk about this Minho.”

Minho sighs, burying his face into Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Babe please, let’s not do this now.” He hopes that this conversation will be dropped, not really wanting to think about Taemin and the consequences of his and Jonghyun’s actions last night.

“Minho-“

The sudden sound of Minho’s ringtone cuts Jonghyun off much to Minho’s silent relief.

“Hello.”

“MINHO!” It’s Kibum and Minho cringes at the volume of the other’s voice. “You were supposed to be to the airport to pick me up 20 minutes ago. Where the hell are you!?” Minho drags his hand over his face in pure exasperation. Kibum’s return to Korea was remembered up until last night. Now, all he can think about is the little whine Jonghyun makes when he pushes into his-

“Well?! Minho, where the hell are you please tell me you’re on your way.”

“Give me 20 more minutes please, I’ll be there.” Minho ends the call before Kibum can reply.

“Taemin huh?”

Minho winces at the sadness lacing Jonghyun’s tone. “No. It was Kibum. I have to go.” Minho tries to press a kiss to Jonghyun’s lips but the elder shifts his head. Minho sighs, settling for Jonghyun’s cheek instead.

“I’ll come by later, we can talk then okay?”

Jonghyun doesn’t respond.

“I’m sorry Key, I went out last night and got a little drunk and woke up super late this morning.” Minho apologizes the minute he’s in speaking distance of Kibum. The other simply glares at Minho, shoving his suitcase into Minho’s hands and storms off – much like a spoiled child – to Minho’s car.

Minho sighs, knowing that Kibum’s not usually subject to having to wait on people.

“Seriously Kibum, I’m really sorry.” Minho apologizes for the 6th time once they’re making their way through the heart of Seoul. “Are you seriously not going to talk to me or even acknowledge my apology? Come on Bummie please…I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”

Kibum groans at the nickname. “Fine, Minho, I know you’re just gonna keep nagging me until I forgive you so fine! You’re forgiven.”

Minho gives a small smile of triumph, reaching with his right hand to pat Kibum’s cheek. Key swats Minho’s hand away, still looking somewhat annoyed.

“I’m just peeved because I had some things I had to get done today before Tae’s big dance recital tonight. Now I’m falling behind on my schedule.”

Minho’s mouth immediately relaxes. He pales. Oh shit! He totally forgot about that. His eyes lose their focus as he chastises himself. How could he forget?! Taemin’s been talking about this for months for Christ’s sake! Thousands of scouts from professional agencies would be looking for future dancers and choreographers tonight. This would be an important moment in Taemin’s future career as a dancer and it completely slipped Minho’s mind.

“You didn’t forget did you?” Kibum looks at him with narrowed eyes.

Minho forces himself to chuckle, looking at Kibum as if he’d just asked him something stupid. “No, of course not.”

The performing arts center of Taemin’s school is filled to the brim as Minho and Kibum settle into their seats. Kibum complains about how far they are from the stage, frowning when Minho doesn’t agree with him. The younger man is too absorbed with his cell phone to pay attention to his surroundings – checking for mixed calls or messages from Jonghyun. He’d texted the older man earlier to let him know he wasn’t sure he’d be able to come over tonight, but there’s still no response. Minho turns his phone on silent and sinks into his seat as the lights begin to dim.

There are about nine performances before Taemin along with his best friend Jongin, take the stage as the final act. They would be dancing to a mashup of songs, a piece Taemin choreographed himself. Minho’s seen this performance hundreds of times during Taemin’s practice sessions. However he feels a sense of pride watching his boyfriend perform the piece he’s been working on for months in front of hundreds of people.

“Wow, they’re really doing amazing. They haven’t missed a beat.”

Minho nods in silent agreement, watching with proud eyes as the music transitions from dubstep to a lighter less gritty sound. Minho knows the end is nearing. Instead of ending abruptly like most of the other performers tonight, Taemin and Jongin were ending their performance on a graceful note.

Minho smiles as he watches the two men spin on the tips of their toes and then collapse onto the stage as the chillstep song comes to an end. He knows that move was difficult for Taemin, especially since he doesn’t have the extensive history in ballet that Jongin has.

The crowd erupts into a standing ovation, cheers and hollers echoing all around the room. Minho and Kibum stand as well, with Kibum doing enough yelling to rival everyone else in the building.

“He’s gotta get recruited by at least 10 companies after that performance,” Kibum comments as he and Minho wait for Taemin to emerge from the dressing rooms.

“I’m sure he will be.” Minho takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and then grows worried as he sees one missed call and 7 text messages from Jonghyun.

Texts from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 2 hours ago:

Hey

are you still coming over so we can talk?

minho? it’s getting late and I still haven’t heard from u

…are u ignoring me?

im sorry, we don’t have to talk about taemin if u don’t want to

please don’t be mad at me

im sorry

“Are you okay?” Kibum asks as he takes in Minho’s expression.

“I’m fine,” Minho says a little too quickly to be true. He sighs and pockets his phone. “Really, I’m fine,” he rolls his eyes at Kibum’s disbelieving look.

Taemin joins them a minute later. He’s freshly showered and all smiles as Kibum reigns down the praises.

“Oh my God Tae that was fantastic! I’ve known you for almost eight years and I didn’t even know you could move like that!”

Minho gives a tight lipped smile when Taemin turns to him. “You knocked them dead babe,” he says as he places a kiss on Taemin’s cheek.

Taemin giggles in response while Minho wraps an arm around his waist.

“Thanks guys. We’re having a small get together at Jongin’s house. You guys are coming right.”

“Um I-“

“Of course we are,” Kibum cuts Minho off.

“Excuse me.”

The three men look to the older man who addresses them.

“Are you Mr. Lee Taemin?” The man looks at Taemin.

Taemin nods and slips out of Minho’s grasp.

“That performance you and your colleague gave tonight was amazing. If you don’t mind, can I speak to you in private?”

“Sure.”

“So, you wanna head straight to the party or you wanna go home and change first?”

Minho glances sideways at Kibum. “I think you should head to the party with Tae. I’ve got something to do first.”

Kibum narrows his eyes. “Does this have something to do with the text messages you were reading earlier.”

Minho sighs. “No. Something just came up that I need to take care of first.”

Taemin comes practically skipping to the pair, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Good news I presume…” Kibum murmurs.

“You guys, that man is the head of recruitment for a choreographing company and he wants me and Jongin to come and work with them!”

“Oh my God that’s amazing Tae,” Kibum squeezes the younger man tight. “Did you already accept?”

“No, he said to just think about it for now. Jongin and I are gonna go to his company later on this week and talk about all the details.”

Minho ruffles Taemin’s hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

Taemin blushes hotly. “Jongin’s bringing his car around front so we can get going.”

Minho frowns. “About that…there’s something I have to go and do first.”

“Oh.”

Guilt wells up in Minho as he sees Taemin’s smile replaced with sheer disappointment.

“I’ll be there don’t worry, I just gotta go take care of this thing. Kibum will ride with you guys.” Minho gives Taemin a kiss on the cheek for good measure, and nods to Kibum who gives him a scathing look.

He’s barely out of earshot when Kibum mumbles, “How dodgy.”

“Hyung, open up, it’s freezing out here.” Minho knocks on Jonghyun’s door for the fourth time. It’s just past ten, he didn’t expect Jonghyun to go to bed so early. He grabs his phone and opens up his chat log with Jonghyun just as the older man opens the door.

Jonghyun is dressed in only boxers with his hair dripping wet, which Minho assumes is from a recent shower.

“Minho?” Jonghyun pulls the younger man inside and wraps his arms tightly around him. “I thought you weren’t coming I-I thought you were mad at me. I’m sorry.”

Minho chuckles at how panicked Jonghyun sounds. He pulls away to kiss the shorter man. “It’s okay baby, I wasn’t mad.”

“Where were you tonight?”

“T-Tae had a dance recital…”

“Oh.” Jonghyun gives Minho that same disappointed look Taemin gave him earlier. But then Jonghyun kisses him with such passion that Minho forgets all about Taemin. His head feels light, like he might just float away. “Let’s not talk about him. Not now at least.”

Minho smiles as Jonghyun leads him to the couch in his living room and begins an assault on his neck.

“I missed you.”

“I m-missed you too baby, but I ahh…can’t stay.”

Jonghyun pouts as he untucks Minho’s dress shirt from his pants and begins unbuttoning it.

Minho groans as Jonghyun’s lips latch onto his chest. He feels Jonghyun’s finger toying with the button on his slacks and all his resolve disappears. He’s unable to tell Jonghyun to stop now.

“I’ve wanted to do this from last night,” Jonghyun breathes as he pulls Minho’s cock out into the warm air of his heated apartment.

Minho lets out the most unmanly whimper as Jonghyun takes him into his mouth, teasing at first, but growing more and more firm and enthusiastic as time draws on.

“Fuck hyung,” Minho moans as Jonghyun pumps him with his hand before taking him into his mouth again. He’s got his head tilted back, teeth digging into his lower lip as his fingers dig into the cushions.

Jonghyun lets him out of his mouth again with an obscene pop. “You can grab onto my hair, I know you want to.”

Minho bites his lip and grabs onto Jonghyun’s silver locks. He tugs lightly, helping guide the movements of Jonghyun’s head up and down his cock. “B-Baby, you’re s-so good,” Minho moans as Jonghyun’s tongue works wonders up and down his shaft.

Minho’s words spur Jonghyun to suck Minho harder until the younger man becomes a whimpering mess beneath him.

“B-Babe I-I’m gonna – f-fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Minho moans out before coming suddenly.

He half expected Jonghyun to gag and spit it out – but when Minho sees the bobbing of Jonghyun’s adam’s apple, he looks at him with blown pupils.

Jonghyun pulls off of Minho’s cock with a smile. “Was it good?”

All Minho can do is nod, unable to form words just yet.

“Good.” Jonghyun pecks Minho’s lips and pulls his underwear and pants back up for him. He sits down next to Minho and laces their fingers together. “I guess I understand if you have to leave…but can you stay with me for a bit, at least until I fall asleep?”

Minho can’t possibly say no – not to Jonghyun.

Minho ends up staying longer than a bit and much longer than after Jonghyun falls asleep. How could he leave with Jonghyun snuggled onto his chest and looking so damn peaceful in his embrace? Minho sighs when he hears his phone vibrate on the nightstand for what he thinks is the 10th time that night – the light from it casting a dim glow in the room. He reaches over and turns it off, before he pecks Jonghyun’s forehead and closes his eyes. He’ll just deal with everything tomorrow.

“Where were you last night?” Taemin asks as soon as Minho lets him into his apartment. “Key hyung and I called and texted you a bunch of times and you didn’t answer anything. We were worried Minho!”

Minho sighs. “Something came up Tae…”

“What do you mean something came up?! Something so important that you missed the after party of one of the most important nights in my life? It couldn’t wait?”

Minho runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not about to fight with you Taemin. Something important came up that I had to deal with. I’m sorry that it took so long and I missed the party and I’m sorry I didn’t call and let you know I was okay. M-My phone was on low battery and then it died,” Minho lies.

Taemin sighs. “I j-just really wanted you to be there Minho. I wanted to celebrate my achievements with you. And I hardly even talked to you last night. I saw you for two seconds and then you were gone.”

Minho feels guilt rise up in him. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“O-Okay.” Taemin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Minho’s lips. Minho forces himself to kiss Taemin back – mind registering how wrong this is, considering that he just kissed Jonghyun goodbye this morning. When Taemin tries to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” Taemin looks at him confused.

“Nothing baby,” Minho forces a smile. “I’m just tired.”

“Oh.”

Minho pretends he doesn’t hear the feeling of rejection in Taemin’s voice.

On Thursday after his last final, Minho and a few of his soccer teammates decide to have a little scrimmage before they part ways for the break. Minho invites Jonghyun to come and watch, eager to show him how much he’s improved since the last time Jonghyun watched him play soccer.

Jonghyun gives Minho a big wave when he arrives and Minho gives him an even bigger one back. He smiles at how cute Jonghyun looks in his oversized jacket, along with a beanie on his head.

“Who’s that?” Jihan – one of Minho’s teammates – asks.

“He’s a close friend of mine,” Minho says as he stares at Jonghyun with a smile.

“He’s cute.”

The smile disappears off of Minho’s face as he looks at Jihan. “He’s taken,” Minho says with more force than he’d intended.

“Woah man, just saying he’s cute. Never said I wanted to date the guy.” Jihan pats him on the back. “You shouldn’t care anyway, aren’t you in a relationship with Taemin?”

Minho groans and grits his teeth. “Let’s just start the game.”

Minho’s team ends up beating the others 3-1 by the time it starts getting dark. He runs over to where Jonghyun’s sitting on the bleachers, clapping for him. “So Jonghyun hyung, what did you think?”

Jonghyun smiles at him. “You were really good. You’re like a pro now,” Jonghyun says honestly. “But I must say it was hard to focus watching you run up and down the field in those shorts of yours. It was pretty sexy.”

Minho blushes. “Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

Minho grins. “Let’s go back to your place.”

Minho takes a quick shower at Jonghyun’s apartment and borrows some of his clothes – they’re a little tight on him but he doesn’t mind that much.

“Hey Min…which one do you like more?” Jonghyun holds up two shirts, a red plaid one, and a cream coloured one.

Minho looks at both shirts and eyes Jonghyun. “The red one. Red is your colour hyung.”

Jonghyun smiles softly. “Okay, red it is,” he says before taking the shirts back to his room.

When he comes back and plops down next to Minho, Minho looks at him strangely. “Why are you asking for my opinion on clothes? You got a date?”

Jonghyun giggles. “Maybe.”

Minho frowns. “Don’t say things like that hyung, you’ll make me jealous.”

The grin falls off of Jonghyun’s face. He scoots away from Minho. “It was a joke Minho, and you’re not exactly in the position to be possessive don’t you think?”

Minho finds out on Saturday why Jonghyun had asked for his opinion on his clothes. It’s his 21st birthday and Kibum had somehow managed to plan an entire party without Minho knowing anything of it. It’s not a huge party but there are a nice number of Minho’s friends and family in attendance. The music is lively and whichever catering company Kibum hired did an amazing job. Jonghyun arrives about an hour into the party, dressed in the same plaid shirt he’d shown Minho the other night and a pair of ripped black jeans. Minho’s eyes don’t leave Jonghyun’s body the minute he spots him, even though Taemin’s body is pressed tightly against his as they dance in the middle of the living room of Kibum’s apartment.

He watches as Jonghyun converses with Kibum and then Jinki before sitting idly in a corner and watching everything going on around him. Their eyes lock suddenly and Minho freezes. He starts gently prying Taemin’s body away from his.

“I’m staying over at your place tonight…” Taemin whispers suggestively in Minho’s ear.

“Y-Yeah sure,” Minho says absentmindedly before completely letting go of Taemin. “I’m gonna go say hi to Jonghyun hyung okay.” He leaves before Taemin can respond and goes over to where Jonghyun’s sitting.

Jonghyun looks up at him with a small smile. “Happy Birthday Min.”

Minho smiles. “Thanks hyung.” He leans down to whisper in Jonghyun’s ear, “Come with me next door, to my apartment,” he says before leaving.

“This is the first time I’ve been in your place since I got back,” Jonghyun says as Minho closes the door behind them.

“Yeah…Do you like it?”

“It’s cozy,” Jonghyun says.

Minho smiles softly and sits next to Jonghyun on the couch. He brushes a few stray strands of hair away from Jonghyun’s forehead before leaning in for a kiss.

Jonghyun gently pushes Minho back by his chest. “Are you really going to try and kiss me, after you’ve been dancing with your boyfriend all night?” Jonghyun asks with a sense of bitterness lacing his words.

Minho sighs. “Jjong…you know…i-it…it’s complicated.”

Jonghyun shakes his head. “It’s not right Minho. Y-You can’t date me and him. You need to break up with him…”

Minho looks at Jonghyun with sullen eyes.

“O-Or stop seeing me.”

Minho’s eyes widen. “No. I’m not going to stop seeing you Jonghyun. I just got you. I-I’ve been in love with you for years…”

“Then you know what you need to do.”

Minho looks away from Jonghyun and bites his lower lip. “I feel like shit because of this hyung,” he whispers, to himself almost.

Jonghyun’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry Minho. It’s your birthday, you should be celebrating instead of talking about this.” Jonghyun reaches out to gently comb his fingers through Minho’s hair. “I got you something.”

Minho looks back at Jonghyun. “You did?”

He gives him a small smile and a nod. Jonghyun passes Minho a small gift bag he’d brought with him.

Minho takes it and can’t help the small smile that grows on his face, knowing that Jonghyun had bought him something. He opens the bag and pulls out a picture frame, encasing a drawing of his much younger self. “W-What’s this?”

“It’s a drawing I did of you back when we were teens. I think it was then I started realizing I had feelings for you,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I kept it with me all this time but I think you should have it.”

Minho rubs his thumb over the drawing, in awe at the amount of detail put into it. “I-It’s beautiful hyung. Thank you.”

“I have another gift for you too…”

Minho turns to face him and before he can ask what it is, Jonghyun’s pink plump lips are pressed softly against his. Minho closes his eyes and melts into the kiss. He rests the drawing down at his side and cups Jonghyun’s face.

Jonghyun pulls back briefly to whisper “I love you,” against Minho’s lips before kissing him deeply.

Minho kisses Jonghyun back just as deeply. He presses Jonghyun’s body close to his before sliding a wet tongue into Jonghyun’s warm mouth. Minho receives a low moan in response to his actions and it just spurs him on. He starts kissing Jonghyun more forcefully, trying to pour all his passion and desire for him into the kiss.

A sudden knock on the door forces them to separate.

Minho pulls back from Jonghyun’s lips and looks at his apartment door with a sigh. He reluctantly gets up to answer it.

“So this is where you snuck off to,” Kibum says when Minho cracks the doorway. “Are you seriously trying to ditch your own party?”

Minho chuckles. “I just needed a breather Bummie. I’ll be back over in a few minutes.”

“No no no breathing time is over, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s time to cut your cake.”

Minho inwardly groans. “I’m coming over right now Kibum I promise. It can wait five more minutes.”

“Minho. Get your ass back over to YOUR birthday party right now. And have you seen Jonghyun? Taemin said that you were gonna go and say ‘Hi’ to him before you disappeared to here.”

“U-Uh,” Minho starts.

Jonghyun stands and moves towards the door. “I-I’m here. I w-wanted Minho to show me his apartment,” he says, voice still sounding a bit shaky after the kiss. “I haven’t gotten any chances to visit yet.”

Kibum’s eyes flicker from Minho to Jonghyun closely, before he smiles. “Well it’s nothing special, you can come back and check it out later” he says before pulling them both back along to his apartment. “Now come, cake time.”

Minho doesn’t get the chance to take Jonghyun back to his apartment later, nor does he get the chance to sneak in a kiss or even a friendly dance. Once he’d gone back to the party and cut and shared out his birthday cake, Taemin latched onto him like a parasite. Minho couldn’t even go to the bathroom without the younger man waiting on him by the door. In the end when the party dwindled down, Minho settled for a quick hug with Jonghyun – but made sure to whisper in his ear that he’d see him in the upcoming week and they could continue their kiss. Jonghyun left with a slight blush on his face and after seeing that Minho made peace with the fact that he didn’t get to kiss him goodbye.

“Minho, let’s go back to your place. Key hyung said not to worry about the mess,” Taemin says while clutching onto Minho’s arm.

“You’re sleeping over tonight?”

Taemin tilts his head and looks up at Minho. “I told you this…earlier.”

“O-Oh,” Minho says. “Y-Yeah, you did. Sorry. Let’s go.”

Minho feels awkward when he and Taemin get undressed together. Taemin takes his time, trying to be sexy. Birthday sex is obviously on his mind.

Minho wants to tell him to stop, to put his clothes back on but he can’t bring himself to, not when Taemin looks so determined.

It’s when Taemin gently pushes Minho onto the bed and starts straddling him that Minho realizes he can’t do this. He presses a hand to Taemin’s bare chest. “Stop…”

Taemin looks at him confused. “What do you mean ‘stop’?”

Minho looks away from him and sighs. “I mean stop. I don’t want to have sex. I don’t feel too up for it baby…”

“You’ve never refused sex before?”

Minho bites his lip. “I don’t feel well,” he lies.

Taemin tilts his head. “I don’t understand.” He looks down at Minho’s crotch and then looks back up at him with watery eyes. “O-Oh…you’re not even hard…?”

“It’s not you Tae,” Minho says. “It’s just I don’t feel well, I drank too much. You know alcohol makes me sleepy,” Minho lies again, knowing that he only had two cups tonight.

“Yeah…okay, sorry,” Taemin says as he gets off of Minho’s lap. He gets under the covers and lays down with his back facing Minho.

Minho sighs as he looks at Taemin’s back, feeling guilty.

He turns away from him, mind overflowing with various thought before he falls asleep.

The next morning is awkward as they eat breakfast together. Taemin does not make much eye contact with Minho.

“…So…” Minho clears his throat. “D-Do you wanna do anything today…baby?” Minho asks.

Taemin looks up at him and then shakes his head. “I can’t. I needa meet with Jongin to discuss some stuff about our choreography deal.”

“Oh okay,” Minho says quietly. He sips at his orange juice.

“I’m gonna get going,” Taemin says when he finishes eating. He puts his plate in the sink and grabs his things.

“Okay,” Minho says. “I’ll see you later?” Minho looks up at Taemin, expecting the man to give him a kiss before he departs.

“Yeah, later,” Taemin says before leaving.

“Oh fuck,” Jonghyun gasps as Minho strokes deep inside of him.

Minho’s got him bent over his work desk as they’d been too impatient to move to Jonghyun’s bedroom when Minho came over.

“A-Ah hyung…s-so tight,” Minho pants against Jonghyun’s neck. “I-I’m so close,” he groans.

“M-Me too,” Jonghyun whimpers as he pumps his dick in tune with Minho’s thrusts.

Minho cries out when he finally climaxes inside of Jonghyun, with the man following with his own cries not too long after.

“Oh shit,” Jonghyun says as he gets a good look at Minho’s neck in the shower. “I marked you.”

Minho touches the mark on his neck and then shrugs.

Jonghyun bites his lip nervously. “I’m sorry, it’s really visible Min. I c-can cover it for you with makeup.”

“Baby it’s fine, no need to cover it.”

“But what about Ta-“

“Shh, we’re not talking about him remember?” Minho gives Jonghyun a kiss on the cheek. “Now come on, let’s rinse off.”

Minho’s never been particularly religious, finding thoughts of a higher deity rather silly. But that doesn’t stop him from celebrating Christmas with his family. The holiday itself has loss much of its true intent, rather becoming capitalism’s grand finale every year. Despite being very aware of this fact, Minho finds himself in front of his childhood home with gifts for his parents and brother tucked under his arm.

He knocks on the front door while Taemin stands beside him.

“Hello boys,” Minho’s mother answers the door with a smile. She pulls Minho in for a hug and smiles warmly at Taemin.

“Taemin, it’s nice to see you again.” She’d met Taemin in Minho’s apartment early on in their relationship when she’d made an impromptu visit to surprise her son.

“It’s nice to see you again too Mrs. Choi,” Taemin says politely.

“Come on in boys, the Kims are already here.”

Minho follows behind his mother visibly confused. “The Kims? They’re having Christmas dinner with us?”

“Yes, it was a last-minute decision. Sodam just brought over their dishes.”

Minho inwardly sighs. Jonghyun had mentioned spending Christmas with his mother and sister but Minho had no idea that their parents would decide to have dinner together. He was hoping to avoid being around both Jonghyun and Taemin again.

“Taemin, you know Jonghyun don’t you? He’s Minho’s best friend,” Mrs. Choi says when they finally reach the dining room.

“We’ve met,” Taemin says. “Hey Jonghyun-hyung. Merry Christmas.”

Jonghyun looks at Minho and Taemin standing near the doorway wearing their matching sweaters and then looks down at the table. “Merry Christmas,” he says quietly.

Minho finds that he can look everywhere but Jonghyun’s eyes.

“Are you boys ready to eat?” Mrs. Choi asks happily.

They sit around the large dining table, Minho between his brother and Taemin. Jonghyun switched seats with his sister a few minutes after Minho and Taemin arrived. Minho would have to crane his neck if he wanted to catch a glimpse of him.

Minho feels but isn’t sure if he looks visibly uncomfortable throughout the entire dinner. With his parents asking questions about his relationship with Taemin while simultaneously reminiscing over how he and Jonghyun were attached to the hip growing up, Minho doesn’t know which one is worse.

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Mrs. Kim asks Minho and Taemin halfway throughout the dinner.

“O-Oh um around six months,” Minho says.

Taemin gently kicks him under the table. “It’s been eight hyung.”

Minho smiles sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. “Time flies. I forget sometimes.” The table takes pity on him as the elders laugh at his statement.

“It’s too early to be forgetting dates little brother,” Minseok says. “Save that for when you’re married,” he says with a nudge to Minho’s elbow.

Minho rolls his eyes, knowing his brother wanted to get a rise out of him.

“What about you Jonghyun?” Minseok directs his question down the table.

“What about me?” Jonghyun asks.

“You’re the only single young adult at this table.” Sodam had brought her boyfriend along and Minseok’s girlfriend was also gracing the Chois with her presence. “Any girlfriend back in Japan?”

Minho visibly stiffens.

Jonghyun snorts. “No. I haven’t had any luck dating since I’ve been back yet either.”

“Oh?” Minseok looks at Minho then back down at Jonghyun. “You’ve been looking?”

“Yeah,” Jonghyun says.

Minho’s face starts to feel hot. He knows he has no right to feel like this but Jonghyun’s words hurt.

Minseok rests a hand on Minho’s knee and smiles knowingly. “The least you could do is play wingman for Jjongie.”

Minho pushes his brother’s hand off and grits his teeth at him. “Stop it,” he whispers.

“Who wants dessert?” Minho’s mom asks.

Minho’s brother corners him outside the upstairs bathroom after everyone’s finished eating dinner.

“So. I’ll give you a chance to come clean,” Minseok says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Minho says and pushes past him.

Minseok grabs onto his arm. “I know something is going on between you and Jonghyun,” Minseok says loudly.

“Shh!” Minho demands and pushes his brother into his old bedroom. “What the hell are you talking about hyung,” Minho says and closes the door behind them, a nervous feeling rising from the pit of his gut. “There’s nothing going on.”

“Oh, come off it Minho,” Minseok says. “I’ve known since you were kids that you had a crush on him. Now you show up here with your boyfriend and you can’t even look Jonghyun in the eye.”

Minho shakes his head. “That’s not true. You know nothing.”

Minseok folds his arms. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

Minho’s eyes widen. “W-What…N-No!”

“Fuck, Minho!” Minseok says. “Does Taemin know? Wait of course he doesn’t know, he’s fucking oblivious to it all isn’t he?”

Minho sighs heavily. “Y-You can’t say anything hyung. I’m going to tell him eventually.”

“E-Eventually?” Minseok asks, eyes wide in disbelief. “Minho what the fuck? That’s not right. None of this is right. Y-You’re cheating.”

“Lower your voice!” Minho shouts back at him. “I n-never meant for this to happen hyung,” he says in hushed tones. “J-Jonghyun came back home and all the feelings I thought were buried just rushed to the surface again. I don’t want to hurt him or Taemin. I promise I’m not a bad person,” Minho says as tears well in his eyes.

His older brother sighs heavily and rests an arm on Minho’s shoulder. “D-Don’t cry. But just…you know this is wrong. And you know what you need to do to fix it.”

Minseok pats Minho’s shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

When Minho and Taemin are on their way back to Minho’s apartment, Taemin asks him a question.

“Is something going on between you and Jonghyun-hyung?”

Minho’s hands grow rigid on the steering wheel. “W-What do you mean?” He asks nervously.

“I heard your hyung ask you that.”

“Oh? O-Oh…Um there’s nothing going on,” Minho rambles. “Hyung was just wondering why we weren’t talking much at dinner,” Minho lies.

The car grows quiet. Minho slowly relaxes his grip on the steering wheel.

“D-Did you hear anything else?” He asks softly.

“Oh no. That’s all I heard,” Taemin quickly replies.

“Okay.”

“Jonghyun-hyung is straight right?” the younger man asks. “You said he was dating a girl when you guys were younger?”

“…H-He’s,” Minho doesn’t really know. “I don’t t-think he has a preference. He’s mostly dated girls but he’s dated guys too…”

Taemin hums and turns to look out of the window.

“Why are you asking?”

“Oh no reason. I was thinking of setting him up with one of my friends. Her name is Soojung and she’s really pretty.”

“Oh,” Minho says. He’s seen pictures of Soojung before. She is indeed pretty. “Y-You think they’d b-be a good match?” Minho prays to that deity he barely believes in that Taemin doesn’t notice the quiver in his voice.

Taemin shrugs. “I think they’d be a great match. They’d look really good together. But you do know him better, so I figured you’d have an idea.”

Minho shakes his head, not liking the thought of that at all. “I don’t think she’s what hyung is looking for right now,” he says a bit firmer than necessary.

Taemin stares at him for a few seconds and then looks back out the window. “Well, it was only a suggestion.”

“What are you doing here?” Jonghyun asks as Minho stands on his doorstep two days later.

Minho frowns at him. “Is something wrong? I tried to call you and you didn’t answer.”

Jonghyun steps aside and lets him into the apartment. “Oh no, nothing’s wrong. Not thinking about the play by play I got of you and Taemin’s relationship the other day.” He shuts the door behind Minho louder than necessary.

Minho sighs. “H-Hyung…you know…it’s-“

“Complicated?” Jonghyun asks. “How long is it going to be complicated Minho?”

“Hyung…”

Jonghyun rubs his hand over his face in exasperation. “Why are you here Minho?”

Minho bites his lip. “I…I got you a present.”

“O-Oh,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I d-didn’t get you anything…”

Minho hands him the small box with a smile. “That’s okay. We’ve never really celebrated Christmas. Besides your birthday present was enough.”

“What is it?” The blonde asks curiously.

“Open it and see.”

Jonghyun unties the pink bow on the box and discards the wrapping. He opens it to find a small silver ring – not small enough to fit on his ring finger, but rather appearing to be the width of his thumb.

“Is this a thumb ring?” Jonghun inquires.

Minho raises his hand to show a matching one. “Yeah.”

Jonghyun’s mouth falls open in surprise. “M-Minho, I…I can’t wear this. Not if you’re wearing one too. It’s too obvious.”

Minho shakes his head. “No, these are really popular right now. People won’t notice it hyung. Besides, don’t you like it?”

“O-Of course I do.” Jonghyun slides the ring onto his thumb. “P-Perfect fit…”

“I thought it would be,” Minho says.

Jonghyun looks up at him with a wobbly smile. “T-Thank you Minho.” He gets on his tippy toes and presses a kiss to Minho’s lips.

Minho kisses him back deeply. “I love you,” he whispers against Jonghyun’s lips.

“I love you too,” Jonghyun replies after a slight pause.

Minho pulls Jonghyun into a tight hug. “I-I’m sorry hyung. Sorry that I haven’t addressed everything yet. I p-promise I will, soon.”

Minho feels Jonghyun sigh against his neck. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Minho.”

Minho pulls back, looking slightly offended. “I will keep this promise hyung. I l-lo-“

Jonghyun shuts him up with a harsh kiss, teeth digging into Minho’s lip. Minho yelps in surprise but quickly recovers, kissing Jonghyun back just as passionately. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s tiny waist and lifts him up against the wall. Minho begins kissing Jonghyun’s neck, working on the spots he knows the other likes. The shorter man cries out as Minho leaves light marks along his collarbone. Minho carries Jonghyun to his bedroom and deposits him onto the bed, pulling off the elder’s shirt as soon as his back touches the mattress.

He pulls his own shirt over his head when a firm hand touches his chest.

“Can we just cuddle tonight,” Jonghyun says quietly, unable to make eye contact.

Minho pulls his shirt back on. “O-Of course baby. Of course. Do you want to be held?”

Jonghyun nods, pulling his own shirt back on and shifting onto his side.

Minho spoons him from behind, watching as the man twists the ring around his thumb but says nothing.

New Years Eve finds them at Jinki’s restaurant, sitting around a table filled with various dishes and lots of beer.

Kibum’s a bit tipsy, his tolerance for beer being very low. Minho rolls his eyes as Kibum entertains the group with his forced acts of cuteness – committed all out of spite because he knows Minho hates it. Taemin records key with an amused smile on his face. He had plopped down, right next to Jonghyun when they’d arrived, forcing Minho to sit to the left of him.

“This will be perfect blackmail material,” Taemin says with a wicked grin as he finishes recording.

Those words seem to sober Kibum up. “You wouldn’t dare! I have a public image.”

Taemin laughs at him. “Just be a good hyung and you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

“Any goals for the new year?” Jinki asks at quarter to twelve.

Kibum mumbles something about settling down, Taemin says he wants to work with foreign choreographers and Jonghyun plans to register more than ten songs.

Minho remains silent as the conversation quickly shifts to something else. He has no idea what the new year has in store for him especially with such a dark secret looming above his head.

“So Jonghyun-hyung,” Taemin says. “Are you still looking to date someone?”

Minho snaps out of his self-reflection.

“Oh um…kinda?” Jonghyun replies.

“Kinda?” Kibum chimes in. “Have you gotten laid since you moved back home?”

Jonghyun visibly squirms.

“Bum!” Minho shouts. “Don’t you think that’s a little personal.”

“What? We’re all friends here. We’re always talking about each other’s sex lives.”

Minho frowns. Kibum’s the one that does most of the talking in those conversations.

“Anyway,” Taemin practically shoves his phone in Jonghyun’s face. “This is my friend Soojung, she’s super nice and is into music too. I thought you two would be a good match.”

“O-Oh really?” Jonghyun nervously glances at Minho.

“Yeah. I could give her your number if you’d like. I think you’ll hit it off really well. She gives off a cold vibe at first but she’s really down to earth.”

Jonghyun stammers, “O-Oh um…”

Minho grits his teeth. “Tae…don’t you think you’re putting a bit of pressure on Jjong right now? He’s never even met her.”

Taemin looks back at Minho. “Jonghyun can answer for himself. Besides most people text before meeting each other these days anyway.” Taemin turns back to Jonghyun. “What do you say?”

Minho’s eyes burn at the back of Taemin’s head.

“Um sure,” Jonghyun relents. “You can give her my number.”

“Great. I think you’ll really hit it off, oh um,” Taemin looks down at Jonghyun’s hand. “Nice thumb ring.”

Jonghyun touches it instinctively. “Oh yeah thanks.”

“It looks just like the one Minho started wearing recently.”

Kibum perks up. “Lemme see.” He grabs Jonghyun’s hand and examines the ring. He looks back to Minho’s to compare but Minho’s fingers are bare.

“I’m not wearing my ring,” Minho says.

“But I have a picture,” Taemin adds in. He hands his phone to Kibum.

Kibum glances at the ring on Minho’s thumb in the photo and the one on Jonghyun’s actual thumb. “They look pretty identical to me.”

“O-Oh,” Jonghyun chuckles nervously. “What a coincidence.”

Taemin narrows his eyes. “Yeah…a coincidence. Where’d you get yours Jonghyun-hyung?”

“Huh?” Jonghyun looks up at Minho as if he’s asking for help.

“Where’d you buy the ring?” Taemin rewords his question.

“Oh, I have no idea. My sister bought it for me. It was a gift,” he lies with a chuckle.

“Hmm,” Taemin hums and looks back at his photo of Minho.

Minho doesn’t share a new year’s kiss with Taemin or Jonghyun that night.

Minho knows what he’s doing is selfish. Cheating is something he always frowned upon, hating when it was a plot point in a movie and shunning the topic whenever his friends brought it up. But now that he’s in this current predicament, he finds himself actually understanding why people do it.

It’s not right.

But is it wrong?

He loves Jonghyun with his entire being. But at some point, in his and Taemin’s now eight-month long relationship, he was sure that he was love with him too. He doesn’t want to hurt the younger man’s feelings.

He finds himself unable to do anything while Taemin and Jonghyun both begin pulling away from him. It’s as if there’s rope attached to both of his hands. But instead of being pulled in either direction he remains set in place while Jonghyun and Taemin pull farther and farther away.

It all comes to a head in the new year.

Kibum confronts him in his apartment early February – much like he’d done when Minho had forgotten his and Taemin’s six-month anniversary.

“I know what you’re doing Minho,” Kibum says, sounding very much like he knows something that Minho doesn’t.

Minho looks visibly perturbed. “What are you talking about Kibum?”

“I know you’ve been cheating on Taemin.”

“W-What?” Minho says all too quickly. “That’s not true.”

“Oh? So you haven’t been sneaking around with Jonghyun behind Taemin’s back?”

Minho opens his mouth and then closes it sharply. “…J-Jonghyun is my best friend Kibum. I can’t spend time with him now?”

“Oh please,” Kibum says. “Taemin told me you haven’t touched him in weeks. He’s seen the marks you know.”

“I don’t have any marks.”

“Yeah cause now Jonghyun’s caught a clue and has stopped fooling around with you too.”

Minho’s anger flares at the harsh truth behind that statement. “You need to leave,” Minho says, his tone matching the chill of the air outside.

Kibum heads towards the door. “Just for the record, we’re not friends anymore. I’m not going to be friends with a cheater! You broke Taemin’s heart Minho and I’ll never forgive you for that!” He slams the door as he exits.

Minho stares at the door for what feels like hours after Kibum leaves.

Hours later he finds himself at Orgel, in desperate need to see Jonghyun. The older man had ignored his texts and calls and when Minho had pulled up to his apartment complex, Jonghyun’s car was nowhere to be seen. The club was the only place Minho figured he would be.

But Jonghyun isn’t alone.

Minho watches as the man walks off the stage after his set and heads to a small table in front where a pretty blond claps enthusiastically for him.

Minho feels his heart crumble in his chest, the sight far too similar of an experience he’d repressed from his teenage years.

Before he can stop himself, he’s already crossed over to the table with fire in his eyes.

To say Jonghyun is startled to see him would be an understatement. The older man’s eyes practically bulge out of his sockets. “M-Minho, w-what are you doing here?”

“W-Who is she?” Minho asks bluntly.

Jonghyun looks at the girl apologetically, before grabbing Minho’s arm roughly and tugging him outside.

“What are you doing here Minho?” He asks in hushed tones.

A group of bystanders look at them suspiciously. Minho doesn’t care.

“Who’s the girl hyung?! Why’s she looking at you like that?”

Jonghyun looks away from him with guilt etched on his face.

“H-Hyung. Who is she?”

“She’s my date!” Jonghyun says. “And now she probably won’t go out with me again because you were so rude in there.”

Minho’s so focused on the word date that it takes him a few extra seconds to process the remainder of what Jonghyun had said.

“Hyung…w-what do you mean she’s your date?! G-Go out with you again? W-What about us?”

Jonghyun sighs heavily. “M-Minho. There’s no us! There can’t be a us! I can’t just be your side piece, your mistress. And Taemin deserves better. You know that.”

Minho feels his heart deflate in his chest. “S-So w-what? You’re giving up on me? Are you going to act like it’s all my fault! Like I was cheating on Taemin by myself?!” He says angrily.

Jonghyun looks visibly hurt by his words. “I will not be complicit in that anymore. I-I’m done Minho. I don’t feel good about myself knowing I’m ruining someone else’s relationship.”

“I-It’s not a relationship anymore. T-Taemin…h-he knows.”

Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. “He knows?”

“Y-Yeah. He knows…It’s not a thing anymore.”

“So, you came clean to him? You told him everything?”

Minho doesn’t answer.

Jonghyun scoffs. “…I…I can’t do this anymore Minho. Even if you had ended things with Taemin, I would’ve still felt like shit about it. I c-can’t have that on my conscience more than it already is. I-I’m going back to Taeyeon. At the very least, I deserve someone that’ll be with just me.” He wipes away the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes before heading back into the club.

Minho feels numb as his car drives him home. Cause surely, he isn’t driving, not when he feels like his heart’s been stepped on and his mind is playing a loop of Jonghyun’s retreating form. He makes the short trek from the parking lot to his apartment building and gets in the elevator. It takes severe willpower to not knock on Kibum’s door and go to him for comfort like he’s done so many times in the past. Instead he opens the door to his apartment and sees Taemin sitting on his couch.

“Hey,” Taemin says.

Minho wipes his hand over his face, trying to remove evidence of tear tracks and heartache.

“W-What are you doing here Tae. How’d you get in?”

Taemin shakes his head with a mirthless laugh. “You gave me a key, awhile ago.”

Minho crosses over to the kitchen to pour himself a much-needed drink. “Oh…yeah right.” He takes a swig of the amber liquid, feeling uncomfortable as the silence grows thick between them.

“So-“ Taemin starts.

“I-I’ve been cheating on you with Jonghyun,” Minho blurts in one breath.

Taemin closes his mouth.

He doesn’t know what he expects from Taemin. Shock? Sadness? Anger? Rather, Taemin looks as if he knows.

“I know,” Taemin says after a few minutes. “I’ve known since Christmas.”

Minho rests down his glass. “…Oh.”

“I eavesdropped on you and your hyung’s conversation. So, yeah I knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to pretend like it wasn’t true. But then it became too apparent to ignore. The way you’d disappear for hours on end, refuse to have sex with me, the marks I didn’t give you, the matching thumb rings,” Taemin scoffs. “Your face would light up every time you saw Jonghyun. It was obvious from the beginning that something was going on between you two and I didn’t want to believe it.”

Minho fidgets uncomfortably. “…Why tell me this now?”

“Because Jonghyun told me everything. Said he felt like such a huge asshole for getting between you and me.”

Minho swallows. No wonder Jonghyun knew he was lying when he said his relationship with Taemin was no more. “Are you upset with him? Please don’t be it’s not his fault.”

Taemin laughs. “Fuck, I just admitted that I know you’ve been cheating on me and still your only concern is Jonghyun. Wow Minho. I didn’t have a chance, did I?”

Minho frowns.

“The moment Jonghyun moved back here. I-It was all over for us wasn’t it?”

Minho can’t bring himself to answer that question. “I…I didn’t want to hurt you Taemin. I-“

“Bullshit. Don’t you think getting cheated on would hurt me more than you just being fucking upfront with me from the beginning?” Taemin asks. “You’re a selfish asshole. You only cared about what you wanted. You didn’t give a shit about my feelings and you got Jonghyun in the middle of it too. And you did hurt me, no matter how much you claim you didn’t want to, you hurt me. You hurt me so fucking much.”

“T-Tae I-I…”

“And I don’t think anything you say can erase that hurt.”

Minho swallows heavily, feeling like anything he says won’t have an effect. “I-I’m sorry,” he offers weakly.

Taemin shakes his head before exiting the apartment with a duffel bag filled with presumably his things.

Minho downs the rest of his alcohol and sinks to the floor.

Minho finds himself sinking into something akin to depression. He still manages to go to his classes, to put on his usually happy act while around his teammates – but when he’s home alone in his apartment he feels himself growing empty, looking at old pictures of him and Jonghyun and deleting the ones of Taemin out of pure guilt. His attempts to contact Jonghyun are futile. The man doesn’t reply to his texts or answers his calls – arriving to the point where Minho’s convinced his number is blocked. Minho doesn’t know what he could possibly say if he ever approached him in person. Kibum avoids him as well, effectively ignoring him whenever they wind up in the elevator together and by foregoing their previous spots.

He shows up to Jinki’s shop one day, attempting to find solace in one member of their squad not directly involved in the drama – but the man looks visibly pained talking to him.

“Kibum told me what happened. He told me not to be friends with you anymore.”

“So, you’re going to cut me off too?” Minho asks, sounding incredibly hurt.

Jinki gives him a look of pity. “I’m sorry Minho. Kibum and Taemin are two of my closest friends and what you did really hurt them both. I c-can’t hang out with you.”

Minho gets his food to go.

“What did I tell you,” Minseok says over a glass of beer.

Minho groans, not interested in being lectured by his older brother.

“I said, you needed to come clean before shit hit the fan. But you didn’t listen and now look. Shit hit the fan.”

Minho sighs heavily.

“How long has it been?” his brother asks.

“T-Three months,” Minho says under his breath.

“And you’re still this fucked up over it? Shit.”

Minho takes a sip of his drink. “It’s not that fucking easy to forget about hyung. J-Jonghyun, he…h-he was my everything,” Minho’s eyes grow misty.

Minseok sighs. “Maybe you should try talking to someone else. Go out there, get laid. Forget about it for a while.”

Minho shakes his head. “I don’t want to. I only want Jonghyun.” Minho stares down at his lock screen, a picture of him and Jonghyun sitting on the elder’s couch with their faces smushed together.

Minseok peers over Minho’s shoulder and groans. “Well you’re not going to get over him if you stare at his picture every day. Change your fucking lock screen and delete those pictures. Besides, you know it’s really fucked up how you don’t mention Taemin when he was the one you were actually dating.”

Minho pushes his phone back into his pocket, feeling the alcohol begin to catch up with him. “T-Tae hates me. S-Said I’m an asshole, w-which I am,” Minho slurs. “B-But Jjong and I…W-We were so r-real.”

“Woah there,” Minseok says. He takes Minho’s glass away from him. “Enough drinking for you.”

His brother drops him home, making sure he makes it safely into his apartment before leaving with the promise to check on him tomorrow.

Minho stares up at the ceiling of his apartment for the longest. The spin of the ceiling fan keeps his drunk mind entertained for the longest. After a while, he grabs his phone and opens up Taemin’s contact information. He starts typing a text but finds himself squinting at the keys, unable to type properly. He settles for a voice note instead.

“H-Hey Taemin. I-It’s me, Minho. I’m kinda d-drunk right now and yeah, I wanted to r-reach out to you for the l-longest but I didn’t k-know what to say. B-But maybe my t-thoughts will come to me e-easier right now. A-Are you doing well? I saw that y-you and Jongin went to L.A on your socials. I hope things are going great, I always believed in your potential.” Minho sighs. “I-I’m stalling cause I want to avoid talking about s-serious things. But I do really wish you all the best with your career. You’ve worked so hard. I’ve always liked that about you. N-No matter what you may think, I always genuinely cared about you Taemin. You were my first real relationship, y-you were literally my first and I’m glad that I was able to experience t-that with you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love you as fully as you deserved. J-Jonghyun held a piece of my heart from we were kids and I didn’t realize that until it was too late to act on it. I-It was never my plan to start seeing him when he came back home. I-It just sort of happened. I k-know that’s not an excuse. But it was never my intention to hurt you as much as I did. But I understand that I did hurt you, I hurt you a lot. A-And I’m sorry Tae. So s-sorry. It tears me up inside knowing that I hurt you that much. I hope one day you c-can find it in your heart to forgive me. It doesn’t have to be now or even a year from now…b-but just someday.”

Minho sends the voice note and then hovers over Jonghyun’s number. He presses call but immediately ends it when the phone starts ringing. He sighs and chucks his phone elsewhere on the couch, not knowing what he could possibly say to Jonghyun at this point.

A few months later, Minho finds himself finally taking his brother’s advice. His phone background has been changed to a photo of a palm tree and he’s sitting across from Jihan on their third date.

“You know, I never thought you were interested.”

He isn’t – well not entirely. Jihan’s a handsome guy and they get along well, but Minho would be lying if he said he was truly vested.

He chuckles slightly. “Well. You’re handsome. You know that.”

“It’s different knowing that you find me handsome though,” Jihan says with a smirk.

Minho waves him off with a smile and finishes up his meal.

After their date Jihan asks if Minho would like to come over to his place and he reluctantly agrees.

Jihan’s apartment is a one-bedroom, very small and tidy – but Minho can’t help feeling uncomfortable as they sit on the loveseat with drinks in hand. After small talk about soccer and the conclusion of the semester, Jihan leans forward for a kiss. It’s not their first time kissing each other – Minho had given him a short peck on their second date – but it does feel strange. At this point, Minho is practically starved for human contact, but kissing Jihan doesn’t make him feel anything. When the other man presses a hand on Minho’s chest and attempts to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

“F-Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, knocking over one of their bottles in his haste to get as far away from the man as possible. “I c-can’t do this. I thought I could, I thought I was ready, but, I…fuck!” Minho grabs his wallet and keys and scrambles up. “I have to go,” he says before fleeing from the other’s apartment.

He gets in his car and drives straight to Jonghyun’s apartment, jolted by the realization that his love for the other has not ceased at all in the six months they’ve been apart.

Minho knocks on the door loudly, asking out loud for Jonghyun to answer it.

When he finally does answer the door, Minho meets pink hair where there had previously been silver.

“M-Minho?” Jonghyun says in surprise.

“P-Please don’t shut the door on me and hear m-me out please,” he begs. “I just went on a date,” Minho says. He inhales deeply. “I went on a d-date and I t-thought it’d been long enough. I thought I was ready. I mean we only spent two months together. Two g-glorious and unforgettable months and here I am six months later freaking out because someone t-tried to kiss me.”

Jonghyun looks at him with eyes of concern mixed with pity.

“B-But I can’t move on because I still love you. I love you so fucking much hyung. I-I’m sorry I didn’t do right by you. I wanted you s-so bad but I wasn’t even the boyfriend you deserved. I had you as my s-secret on the side and I’ll always regret that. I love you and I want to treat you like the boyfriend you deserve to be treated. I w-wanna scream your name from rooftops and let everyone know how much I adore you. B-But I ruined that chance and I-I’m sorry. You’ve probably moved on. I j-just, I h-hope you can forgive m-me. I hope you haven’t spent the last six months h-hating my guts.��

Jonghyun stares up at Minho for the longest. “M-Minho-“

“I-I’ll just go hyung,” Minho says softly. “Thanks for hearing me out.”

He scrambles away from Jonghyun’s apartment as quickly as he had arrived. He drives home, texts Jihan a lengthy apology and passes out on his couch.

When Minho finally wakes up the next morning, he sees a text from Jonghyun.

Text from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 9 hours ago:

Meet me at the café today, at 3.

Minho isn’t sure what to expect as he taps his foot anxiously under the table. He’s sitting in the same seat he’d sat in last year when he and Jonghyun had made promises to catch up and give being best friends another go. It feels odd, knowing that it’s almost a year since that happened. They’ve spent more time apart than they have together since Jonghyun’s return.

Jonghyun saunters in at just seven minutes past three and sits down across from Minho.

“H-Hi,” Minho says quietly.

“Hi,” Jonghyun says.

“Why did you ask me he-“

Jonghyun cuts Minho off by motioning a waiter over to their table. He orders a lemonade and a sandwich for himself. Minho orders a water, too nervous to consume anything else. The waiter writes down their orders, promising to be back shortly before leaving to tend to another table.

“So,” Jonghyun begins. “Taemin told me he got a voice message from you.”

Minho furrows his brows, utterly confused at the notion of Taemin keeping in contact with Jonghyun. “O-Oh. Um, yeah. That happened a few months back. I didn’t think he listened to it. He never responded.”

“He messaged me instead,” Jonghyun says. “He doesn’t hold any resentment towards you anymore and he gave me his blessing to date you.”

“Oh? Oh. Um…”

“I had to think about it for a while,” Jonghyun continues. “Actually, it made me feel even worse. That he could be so forgiving. Neither of us deserve that. I-“ Jonghyun pauses while their waiter rests down their drinks. He gives her a small smile after she promises to be back with his food soon.

“I dated too,” Jonghyun resumes. “Taeyeon and I went out a few times. We even fooled around once.”

Minho swallows in attempts to stifle the burning jealousy coursing through him.

“She was really pretty and such a sweet person. But my heart wasn’t in it either. I couldn’t give myself to her fully. I’ve spent the last few months writing sad songs about relationships that can’t seem to work out for whatever reason.” He sips at his lemonade. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I still feel like shit about what we did…but I still love you and despite all the time that’s passed it hasn’t gotten any easier not having you in my life.”

Minho takes a deep breath, feeling like it’s the first one he’s taken since he sat down in this café.

“I love you too. I l-love you so much hyung.” He reaches for Jonghyun’s hand across the table.

Jonghyun holds onto Minho’s hand tightly. “B-But I don’t think we can just go back to the way things were before.”

Minho frowns at him, slowly pulling his hand away. “Oh?”

Jonghyun snatches his hand back and laces their fingers together. “You could at least court me first.”

Courting Jonghyun proves to be an easy task. With his years of knowledge of the shorter man’s preferences, it’s not difficult to plan dates that the other will like or perform gestures that are guaranteed to make the other swoon.

With the older man’s advice, Minho manages to pick out an excellent gift for Kibum’s birthday. A pricey bracelet accompanied with a letter apologizing for all his wrongdoings.

It takes a while, but Kibum eventually returns to his post as Minho’s best friend.

“I mean I guess I should have known,” Kibum says over a glass of wine.

He’s currently sporting a buzzcut with patches dyed a bunch of different colours. Minho thinks it looks ridiculous but Kibum swears it’s the height of style.

“You were way too sad when Jonghyun-hyung wanted nothing to do with you and then way too excited when he came around. I had my suspicions all along.”

Minho snorts. “Yeah well-“

“And then the disappearing acts. So obvious. But you had to top it all off with the matching rings.”

Minho sighs heavily, not wanting this reminder of his wrongful actions – but unable to blame Kibum nonetheless.

“It’s a good thing Taemin has moved on, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now,” Kibum says as he takes another sip of his wine.

Minho hasn’t spoken to Taemin, it seems as though there was a silent agreement that they would keep their distance. However according to his Instagram and updates from Kibum, he’s currently dating a girl named Seulgi.

“I-I’m so sorry again Bum-“

“Yeah yeah, I know,” Kibum cuts him off. “So back to Jonghyun. Things back to what they were?”

Minho shakes his head. “We’re taking it a little slow. He doesn’t want to be called my boyfriend just yet. We haven’t been sleeping together either.”

“Oh? And you’re fine with that.”

Minho nods. “I’m just happy I get to be in his presence.”

Jonghyun does eventually come around.

Minho takes him on a trip to the Hallasan Mountain and Jonghyun agrees to be his boyfriend – properly this time – right before he dumps snow down Minho’s jacket.

The revelation of their relationship does not come as a surprise to either of their families. Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Choi look at each other knowingly when the two boys admit to their relationship, commenting that they’d had their suspicions all along but thought that they’d let them figure it out on their own without any pressure. Minho’s father doesn’t comment, but he does smile at the couple fondly a few times over the course of the shared dinner.

“Even though he doesn’t deserve it after the shit he pulled,” Minseok teases. “I’m glad you decided to give Minho another chance Jonghyun. He really cares about you.”

Jonghyun nods with a shy smile.

“But, if he ever pulls any shady business again, I’d be happy to kick his ass for you.”

Jonghyun laughs heartily at that. “I will definitely keep that in mind hyung.”

It’s amazing when you find true love and all your needs satisfied by merely being in their presence. Minho never thought it was possible, but he and Jonghyun have made it official for a month now and he hasn’t felt the urge to ask the man for sex. He misses it, he wants it, but he’s also perfectly content simply curled up on his couch together with the shorter man.

“Hey Minho,” Jonghyun looks up at Minho after noticing him drifting off into his own thoughts.

Minho looks down at him, smiling as he sees the ring fit snugly around Jonghyun’s thumb. “Yeah baby?”

Jonghyun presses a warm kiss to his mouth, before shifting on Minho’s lap so that he’s straddling Minho’s waist. He kisses Minho deeply, hands rubbing all over Minho’s warm skin.

“I-Is this okay?” Jonghyun asks breathlessly. “D-Do you want to?”

Minho nods, unable to find the words.

They move into Minho’s bed. The lights are off, making it difficult to see each other. But Minho finds that he doesn’t need to see the other man to know what expression he’s making. He doesn’t need to see him to please him.

They take things slow, thoroughly exploring each other’s bodies. Minho works his mouth over the entire expanse of Jonghyun’s skin, like it’s the first time he’s ever gotten a taste.

“Shit, you’re killing m-me,” Jonghyun whimpers as Minho’s tongue works over his most intimate spot. Minho doesn’t have much experience doing this but from the sounds Jonghyun’s making, he’s certain it’ll make its way into their routine.

Minho whimpers as he interlocks their fingers above Jonghyun’s head, rocking into him at a slow pace. It feels so good, being able to express his love in such a raw and passionate way. He peppers kisses all over Jonghyun’s face while he moves inside of him. “I l-love you,” he repeats over and over like a mantra.

Jonghyun cums first with his legs tightening around Minho’s waist while his voice reaches pitches Minho’s only ever heard in song. Minho follows soon after, unable to contain himself after feeling the way Jonghyun tightened around him.

Minho can’t see it, but he feels the love and adoration pouring into him from Jonghyun.

“G-God I love you. I wanna spend the rest of my days with you. I wanna write sappy love songs that I’m too embarrassed to play for you and be in the bleachers for every one of your soccer games. And I fucking hate sports. I-“

Minho lets out a breathless laugh before shutting Jonghyun up with a kiss. “I k-know hyung. I k-know. I-I’m sorry it took so long for us to be t-together like this. Y-You know I feel the same. I’ve felt this f-for such a long time. I w-would have waited years for you if I had to.”

Jonghyun kisses Minho deeply and Minho knows that now that he has him fully, he will never let him go.

“So,” Minho starts.

“So,” Jonghyun echoes.

“T-This is awkward,” Minho says apologetically.

“Only if you make it awkward hyung,” Taemin quips.

They’re gathered in a small restaurant – Minho and Jonghyun sitting across from Taemin and his girlfriend Seulgi. Seulgi is even more beautiful in person and has an addicting laugh. Minho can see why Taemin is attracted to her. She and Jonghyun seem to get along well, sharing conversations about books and music throughout the dinner. Minho finds it hard to talk to her, considering he doesn’t know just how much of his and Taemin’s past the girl actually knows.

Minho clears his throat. “I’m sorry. It’s hard for it not to be awkward?” His words come out sounding like a question rather than a statement.

“There’s no hard feelings hyung. You and Jonghyun-hyung are back together and I’ve moved on. I just wanted to meet up with you guys so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable in the future.”

“I’m really sorry again,” Jonghyun says. “Truly.”

“I know,” Taemin replies. “I was never upset with you Jonghyun-hyung. You, on the other hand,” he looks at Minho.

Minho looks away, embarrassed.

“Well…we can let a dead thing stay dead.”

Jonghyun rests a comforting hand on Minho’s knee. “So…Are you moving back to Seoul?” Jonghyun asks in attempts to change the conversation.

“Oh no, we’re only visiting,” Taemin says. “There’s still a lot more of the world I wanna see.”

Minho nods, knowing that Taemin had ambitions that could not be confined to South Korea.

“I know you’ll do well,” Minho says quietly.

Taemin gives him a small smile.

After dinner they decide to go to a karaoke bar. Jongin shows up halfway through the night along with his girlfriend. Jinki joins them later followed by Kibum and his new boyfriend Donghyun.

“Are you okay?” Jonghyun asks Minho when he sits down after belting out a TVXQ song. “You don’t look like you’re having a good time.”

Minho’s the only one who hasn’t sang tonight.

“I-It just feels…weird,” Minho confesses. “Being around everyone like this. It almost feels normal. But I still feel like an asshole for what I did. And everyone knows.”

Jonghyun rubs his hand gently. “Why don’t you talk to him…alone.”

Minho chews on his lip nervously. “You’d be okay with that? After everything?”

“Of course. I trust you Minho. I know you’re not that person.”

Spurred on by Jonghyun’s declaration of trust, Minho approaches Taemin and asks if he can talk to him alone.

“You look happy,” Minho tells him as they stand out on the balcony of the establishment. “Is it real or is it just for show?”

Taemin scoffs. “Over a year later and you expect me to still be crying over you?”

“N-No that’s not what I meant, it’s just-“

“Calm down. I’m just fucking with you,” Taemin says. “I am happy. Genuinely. I love Seulgi and entering a partnership with Jongin was the best decision I made career wise. I have lots to be happy about.”

Love. Minho can’t recall ever saying that word to Taemin and really meaning it. “You love her?”

Taemin nods. “Yeah, I do.”

He says it with so much conviction. “That’s good. I’m really happy for you Tae.”

Taemin hums. “I don’t have to ask if you’re happy. It’s so apparent with the way you look at Jonghyun. It’s almost disgusting.” He takes a sip of his beer.

“Does that bother you?”

“At first it did. I spent so many nights wondering why you would look at him like that, and not me. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. I can see now that the love we had for each other or at least thought we had doesn’t compare to the real thing. You know? I still care about you. I always will. But I’m not in love with you.”

Minho nods, not at all hurt by those words – rather feeling a sense of peace that Taemin has been able to move on.

“I’ll always care about you. I know I was drunk in the voice memo, but I meant everything I said. I know we probably won’t ever be friends again, but I just want you to be happy and to take good care of yourself.”

Taemin gives him a small smile. “I will.”

Minho pulls the younger man in for a hug. “Thank you Taemin.”

Taemin hugs him back. “For what?”

“For forgiving me. That means more to me than you know.”

Taemin pulls back. “I know you’re not a bad guy Minho. I never thought you were. You let your heart get the best of you. It also sucks cause Jonghyun-hyung is so hard to hate. He’s really sexy too-“

“Hey, are you trying to make the moves on my man?” Minho teases.

Taemin laughs with him.

“There you guys are,” Kibum says as he joins them on the balcony. “Come back to the room, we’ve only got 10 minutes left and Minho has yet to sing a song.”

Minho shakes his head as he and Taemin are both pulled along by Kibum.

He sings a song that he thinks both Jonghyun and Taemin will enjoy.

“Hey Min…”

“Hmm?”

They’re lying in their shared bed, huddled under the covers for warmth, with Jonghyun’s unbelievably cold toes tickling Minho’s ankles. It’s late December, with Christmas right around the corner. They both want to make the most of their first Christmas living together in their own home.

“What do you think about getting married?”

Minho pitches up at that, rolling over on top of Jonghyun so he can look at the other clearly.

“What did you just say?”

Jonghyun averts his eyes, suddenly feeling shy under Minho’s intense gaze. “I-I’m asking you to marry me.”

“N-no Jjong why…”

Jonghyun visibly deflates. “You don’t want to get married?” His eyes well up a little bit.

“No no Jonghyun, of course I do baby,” Minho chuckles at how easily emotional his boyfriend can get. He squishes Jonghyun’s cheeks together. “Idiot. Of course I do. But you ruined my surprise.” Minho sighs and rolls over to his original position.

Jonghyun sniffles. “Surprise?”

“I was gonna propose to you next spring. I had this big thing planned. I was gonna take you out to a nice hotel for the weekend, one with a view of the beach. And on our last night, I would lead you to the balcony of our room and you’d look down at the beach and there would be ‘Will you marry me Jjong’ in big letters in the sand.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am hyung! I was gonna book the reservations this week.”

Jonghyun chuckles and then presses a kiss to Minho’s pouting lips. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Shut up, you would’ve cried if I did.”

He kisses Minho again. “Maybe…But still, will you though? Will you marry me?”

Minho grumbles. “Of course I will,” he pulls Jonghyun against his chest. The shorter man sighs in contentment as he wraps his arms around Minho’s waist.

“We should start planning the wedding. Maybe a beach wedding so your fantasy will be fulfilled.”

Minho smiles, and laces his fingers with Jonghyun’s. “Yeah? And after we’re married what are we gonna do next? Adopt some kids?”

“Ooh ooh, two boys and a girl. Or two girls and a boy. We can start a cute little family.”

“The cutest little family.”

Jonghyun grins and kisses Minho’s chin. The latter’s cheeks hurt from smiling at the idea of marrying his best friend and starting a family with him. And it would be the best family ever. They’d love and nurture their children just as much as they love and care for each other. And their lives will forever be filled with constant happiness.

Jonghyun yawns and snuggles more into Minho’s embrace.

“I love you Frogho.”

“I love you more Dinoboy.”

The End.

#im still alive...who would've thought #finishing a fic from 6 years ago...classic #jongho #shinee

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