#im doing great yall i am i am i am

[extraordinarilyextreme]

devotion not as worship. but as recognition. as "i want to stand with you, and beside you." as learning. as understanding. as "i want to know you." as "i am making the choice to get to know you." as persistence. as care. as "you are knowable." as "you are lovable." devotion not as idolatry. but devotion as mortality. as a reflection. "you and i, together. equals. partners." devotion as accompaniment. devotion as humanity.

#fanghua #mysterious lotus casebook #cdrama ramblings #im doing great yall i am i am i am #not a vase to be admired or appreciated from afar #not an object to be kept or sought after #not a god to long for and chase #you are human and a whole person #i am willing to be a human and whole person with you #with you #WITH YOU #BESIDE YOU

[jaarijani]

Käärijä Antwerp gig recap!!!

I HAVE THOUGHTS of course i do i dont shut the hell up ever you should know this about me by now

i arrived there at around 9 am bc of train delays but there were only 10 people there then and for the longest time it was just the 15 of us so 15 gang ily sm!!! i loved sitting and chatting with all of you you made those 10+ hours go by SO FAST ❤️❤️❤️

the tour bus arrived at around 12ish and we all stood around for a while until they finally came out

häärijä BEELINED to Ed, ignoring us completely, it was so funny

he was so sweet oh my god i love him 💛

while he distracted us Jere sneaked off the bus

as Jere walked back to the bus i saw him wave so i waved back and he came over to say hi!!! right in front of me!!! he was so sweet too 😭💚

you cannot comprehend how beautiful this man is irl oh my god

sidenote: he was SO surprised some of us woke up super early to travel all the way from the Netherlands

people started giving gifts and asking for pics and he said to form a line so we could all have a pic and he called himself santa claus lmao

i have the forbidden knowledge of Jeres height as he's exactly as tall as me 😈

OKAY THE ACTUAL GIG

it was so amazing???

his energy is so good and the audience matched him SO well today

he was CLEARLY feeling so much better today he was so happy and smiley and he seemed genuinely surprised by how crazy we were

we chanted käärijä after almost every song

VOITTAJA CHANT

i blacked out during hirttää kinni???? it was so good and its my fav at he moment and suddenly we were done??? no wait take me back

he talked about huhhahhei and said "when two guys go on a love boat together" paraphrasing but sIR!!!

AND THEN he did a whole bit about bojan again? he sang a little song wondering where he was and that he misses him and JERE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

i have a video of this btw

Emilia fucking SLAPPED icip again holy shit she matched his energy perfectly

i feel like he didnt want to go again!!! he just stayed and talked about doing what you love and being true to youself WHILE the reggae mix was playing

it was so fun so good i had an amazing time 💚💚💚💚💚 and am low key considering going to finland next year

also shout out to Ed @submariini and his amazing Häärijadar bc we share the same birthday??!!!! october 29 babeyy

#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #antwerpen gig #also shout out to goose for hooking me up with a VERY last minute sleeping spot!!! i owe u my life #i dont know your tumblr tho i apologise #but everyone was genuinely so sweet and nice and the queue was great!!! #we wrote down numbers and emilia herded us like cattle it was great #there were some guys trying to cut the line but we just. werent having it. #no i did not wake up at 4 for you to just cut in line and take a spot #gtfo #also jere gives the best hugs :) #and jesse was SO DONE w/ our bullshit cheering for him hdbdbshd i am not sorry youre doing great sweetie ❤️ #im still hopped up on adrenaline but im going to try to get some sleep #i still cant believe this was real #good night yall it was great ❤️ #mine #mine*

[chaiichait]

-Moths Of Disease

I hate being sick

Because being sick means your head spins around while you stay still

Your mind is flying too fast

Like little moths searching to eat its fill

They scurry around the caves inside your nose

And sneak into your lungs

They lay there to multiply and run rampant, flicking their tongues

The moths spit up poison in return

Scorching your throat and burning your skin

While you cough and cough and cough

Pesky little insects, never quite knowing when to quit

Wasted fluids, liquids and spat spit

The little moths are greedy,

They never drink their fill

But the moths will never win

I must admit I can see a great battle

In my yellowed spit and flaring heat

Little white soldiers fight

Grabbing weapons and spite

I know they will become victorious

It only takes a little time

#different from my usual content but I just want to appreciate my little guys dying in there #leukocytes are the bomb #yall are great #(macrophages you guys are my favourite but #but glial cells are a close second) #i wrote this poem after I saw the yellowed remains of my white blood cells after i blew into a tissue #makes me appreciate these lil guys #poetry #free verse #i am often impatient when Im sick cause theres so much stuff i have or need to do and i end up being frustrated because i cant do them #but knowing that these lil guys are trying so hard to protect me makes me feel a little better #biology #cells #brain cells #white blood cell #never revealed my other interests online usually just never came up 😭

[sga-owns-my-soul]

crying at 7am bc your best friends are Science Brains and try to explain the Cool Concept of Dimensionality to you but you are Too Dumb To Understand

#DONT CALL ME SMART!!!!!!! #I AM NOT AND THATS OKAY #IM A DUMB BITCH AND THATS FINE #okay moving on #i'm so confused #literally how does the y axis change based on what you're doing #how is it measuring different things in different contexts #and how the fuck is TIME a dimension!!!!!!!! #HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE #'well bc you can be in the same location at two different times and it's technically a different location' i'm gonna cry what does that MEAN #HUH #mushroom i love you and i love that your interested in so many amazing things #but i'm SO CONFUSED #science side of tumblr do NOT explain #my poor brain #my partner tried explaining it to me too and that made me more confused #what a great way to start the day 😂😂 #literally so lost #science brains yall scare me just a little bit #im only mostly sure that you aren't all just doing witchcraft #insanity #anyways #personal rambles #mushroom and stick against the world #not stargate

[windshieldwiper]

um…so…..I feel totally okay about this…yeah…he looks so mediocre 👍

#windshield rambles (^･o･^) #IM A HORRIBLE LIAR #I SCREEECHED AT THIS #SORRY TO LIMITLESS N MITZI WHO HAD TO WITNESS THIS #GOD #OH JY FUCKING GOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE I REWINDED JUST TO WATCH THIS AGAIN #IM SO FUCKING SICK IN MY STOMACH #I WANT HIM I NEED HIM HE NEEDS TO BE MINE RN #I WANNA SAY UNSPEAKABLE THINGS I WANNA DO UNSPEAKAVLE THINGS #IM GOING TO SLAM MY HEAD INTO THE WALL RN #HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOODDDDDDD OH MY GOD HE LOOKS AMAZING I WANT HIM NOW #NO YALL DONT UNDERSTAND HOE DOWN BAD I AM FOR SHIDOU #UGH I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRAW HIM WELL I NEED TO DO THIS MAN JUSTICE #I’m not a shidou apologist cuz I think he’s great the way he is #I love my men insane #I wish I could tattoo this into my brain #I want him please #I need him to devour me #sorry

[schoenht]

whaddafuq who let the links connect to actual google chrome who is the idiot that updated tumblr for that <- procrastinator.

#💜.talks #I AM NOT DEAD. I MADE THIS SO YALL KNOW I AM NOT DEAD #I STILL HAVE PLANS ABT DOING STUFF BUT IM JUST. REALLY GOING THROUGH IT RN #no not mentally its about my show omfg im gonna make a whole post abt that drama #mentally besides that shitshow we're doing great !!! #yeah i promise im not abandoning yall i just need some time bc. yeah. #my homies know. they know. its hell right now. #BUT BY APRIL 21 OR 22 IM GONNA BE FREEEEEEE i should start working on the smau #if i am good enough i can crank out chapters like i used to #BUT YEAH THIS IS YOUR FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT I AM NOT DEAD #i am just chilling (almost started sobbing today bc of this stupid production) #best part is i CAN tell yall

[strangerhands]

raaaaa aaaaaaugh i wanted so badly to have today be the day i finally catch up with everything on here because its been A WEEK. which is very long for me. of barely being on tumblr and not keeping up with things and people. but i just keep procrastinating and spending my whole day watching youtube videos instead😭😭😭 i just think the prospect of "returning" is slightly overwhelming to me because of the way i think about things but i need to just chill the f out and hopefully tomorrow will be the day. no april fools joke. tomorrow. i will RETURN

#(hopefully) #good news tho is that i had a great day with my bestie the other day #and i think my meds are already starting to work/do good #so that is good #but i miss everyone hereeeeee i miss reading and consuming things and being chronically online #see yall soon tho hopefully #hashtag why am i the way that i am #anyways im gonna go attempt to reread a 10k fic before i go to sleep #night night🫶 #talkin shit #also what the hell is up with that daily boops thing???

[justanotherhawksfangirl]

Guess who got to meet THE Zeno Robinson today 👀

#yall i was so awkward #he asked how i was doing today and i legit just fumbled and was like 'scared' #but he was SO sweet and nice omg #he doesnt know #he doesnt know how much i love his voice #when i tell you i have fallen asleep many a night listening to the ones justice voice lines #i am not exaggerating #i love it #he really brings 🤌 essence #to hawks #hawks mha #zeno robinson #keigo takami #im SO so happy #it was great #worth every minute and every penny

[lolpsxd]

hii guys here is some very little ratcandy sketch dump

^ if its hard to read dexter says "why is your hair so funny :D" and kevin says "..i dont know i was born like that, how should i-" and dexter says "shut up /pos"

^ im sorry i fucked up with dexter eyes a little

^ if its hard to read kevin says "uh, man, we can't even think about buying thi-" and dexter says "WE WILL". i wanted to draw some silly thing here but i haven't made up with anything so here's nothing lol

^ bros in hawaiian shirts!! i forgot to shade kevins hair part and add hair and scars on dexters arms too im sorry i cant fix it anymore

#I can't draw in digital so often anymore so im sorry i'll draw requestes when i'll be able to sraw in digital as usual again im truly sorry #spooky month #dexter erotoph #spooky month dexter #dexter spooky month #dexter the exterminator #spooky month kevin #kevin spooky month #kevin #art #sketch #ratcandy #candyrats #doodle #its 1:45 am im going to sleep goodnight yall i hope you'll have a great day tomorrow!! #or today basically #oh and yes i headcanon that kevin has a really curly hair and puts his hair in before work when he has resources to do it #and thank you so so much for support guys!! please take care of yourselfes too

[thedeitychildren]

#awww i didnt get to add the count of monte cristo #deity reads classics #one of these options is an inside joke and istg if yall pick that ill do it but i will also destroy this blog with how much ill complain #urgh rereading the great gatsby sounds awful. but i need to after reading their wikipedia pages #its so much #i am terrified of some of these books more than ulysses tbh. #im most excited for carmilla i wont lie. lesbians.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I made a meme do you leik it :)

#i am SUFFERING out here #i have a presentation and essay for one module a presentation for another module and an object to make with a 1000 word explanation?? #for another module all due within the next two weeks #and i am unable to get out of bed 👍🏻 #fantastic timing dont you think #theres been trouble with my antidepressents so im off those too which ahahahahah doesnt help #and i cant got to the doctors for them cause ill have to fight for it and then that will give them reason to not give me testosterone in #december when im due to get it cause im 'unstable' and my doctors surgery isnt very fond of me starting anyway #im not about to give them a reason to stop me from getting the perscription #so ive just got to fucking raw dog life for the first time since i was 16 how great #no i cannot complete these very important assignments that count towards my degree im trying not to throw myself into oncoming traffic soz #and also trying to manage to feed myself and perhaps leave my bedroom for a total of five minutes at least a day #this has not been entirely achievable but yk im doing my best 😀👍🏻 #depressive episode #did any of yall see those two girls with a podcast that said i love my mental illness it makes me who i am #because i think about those two far too often and im so glad everyone was in the comments so much so they deleted the video lmfao cause bro #depression #can suck my dick #in a bad way

[munamania]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay! #and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

[pepsitwist]

the fact that the bucks’ gear had butterflies on them and hangman wore the butterfly pants during the fan fest makes me feel too many things. the fact that nick was so civil towards hangman and gave him a fist bump and all that. the fact that matt came out of the gate absolutely buck wild. the fact that brandon went “is matt a little angry?” and nick just goes “i think he is” and sure it could be because of the way things went with nick in the ring but you can NOT tell me it’s not because matt feels betrayed, too. 

as much as the bucks wanna move on, hangman is ALWAYS in the back of their minds. and nick understands, nick wants things to be okay between them, nick wanted that match to be just like any other, he didn’t want to make things personal. but matt wanted blood. and not necessarily from hangman. matt jackson is downright jealous that hangman chose the dark order over them and i am THRIVING over it. even though he insists hes okay and everything is fine and theyre friends and hes cool w the dark order, i refuse to believe that. these boys r still whipped for that cowboy in their own ways

#sooooo chill abt the hung bucks reunion that never was #its also a rlly great character study of the motivations between the characters of nick and matt #i know we on here all know theyre different and have their own personalities but #its not super often that they get to SHOW that outside of bte and stuff #and i know im sayingthis after watching bte but it was palpable in the original match too #getting to see the contrast between how nick and matt each handle this situation is so fun and interesting #bc they DO get to do their own character work despite what some ppl might believe #theyre not carbon copies of each other and their characters ARE different and have very different thought processes #anyways hangmatt girlies. hope yall r alright. i (hangmatt AND hangnick girlie) am not #hungbucks #hangman adam page #young bucks #nick jackson #matt jackson #pining babyface young bucks have my heart they really do

[kxllerblond]

roomie let me borrow her old ipod with some rando podcasts so i dont go 100% insane but i have to work with the guy who heavily vocal stims for SIX HOURS instead of my normal two and i might die i think

#stimming great fantastic ill always support it #but when i tell you when you confine two ND people who clash like that in a little back room........................... #i have such bad noise sensitivity and he pops and clicks and whistles and it makes me #iDK man he overstims me so much i want to cry and thats just in the span of two hours #i am actually going to have a meltdown on top of every think today lmAO i #idk how im gonna do today i genuinely dont #cw negativity #see yall in 11 hours :)))))))))))

[hecksupremechips]

Persona romance routes are all pretty bad but damn they really hit rock bottom with p3p femc route like the misogyny is very blatant and it’s almost hilarious like look at the Shinjiro romance. When you do his social link he’s like very clearly respectful of Kotone as a leader and explicitly says stuff like "oh yeah you’re clearly the best fighter we have, I don’t really know much about fighting like you do, I hope I’m not dragging you down, you’re doing a good job as leader just remember to take care of yourself, everyone looks up to you I know you can rely on them" etc. like he has faith in her leading abilities. But then when you romance him he’s like got dialogue like "bwah bluh i gotta look after you because you’re a GIRL and you need to stick by me, a big strong MAN so you don’t get hurt" and "don’t wear that revealing outfit in front of other guys 👺" and it’s like. Does he respect her or not and also like it doesn’t make sense for him to look down on her for being a girl cuz he literally has never not been led by a girl leader during his time in sees and Mitsuru in particular really has her shit together when it comes to being responsible and a good fighter and she’s always known the most about Tartarus

It’s also like. Idk maybe its just me I’m not a girl so FUCK IF I KNOW but to me the appeal of romancing Shinji is the fact that he’s sweet and sensitive and gentle and has respect for you despite the fact that he acts all scary. That’s like, what made me like this character in the first place. But the writers seem to think what women want is for a BIG STRONG MAN to protect them because they are just DELICATE WOMEN who are inferior in every way it’s like. Shut upppp thanks

#persona #persona 3 #shinjiro aragaki #this is soooooooo obviously not the only romance route that sucks in this game yall know which one im referring to 🤨 #and i actually tend to think of the shinji romance as the best one in the series cuz at least his confession scene is the only unique one #that really highlights who he is as a character and goes with the story #but ughh just idk its so annoying how the writers cant decide if hes sexist or not its really weird and its like #really shows how poorly the writers think of women playing their game its like all the romance options are trash and then your boyfriend is #sexist to you and its so clearly done in a way thats supposed to be romantic which is. ew #like idk if my partner was like talking about how i need to stay close to them because im a weak girl and they are strong man #especially when im literally the leader of the team and have been doing perfectly fine thus far and am clearly the strongest here #id simply run him over with a bulldozer #and its like this will all the guys in this game its like girl shut up and eat glass #meanwhile when youre a male protagonist your gf will kiss your ass to the point its infuriating #and their character arcs can never be too grand cuz then they might not wanna fuck you if they realize they have worth #uh sorry my brain is all over the place basically i hate persona romances lol and i hate how they wrote shinji in his #like dammit i dont want him cuz hes gonna protect me like a man i want him cuz he isnt great at fighting and prefers cooking and puppy dogs #and has respect for me and trusts my judgement and asks me to talk about my life and interests and smiles sweetly #but god forbid a woman in this series be respected i guess

[skenpiel]

IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn

#being sick and in pain is like…. i can stand it for a couple hours #but then i legitimately become‚ like‚ suicidal #im like. this sucks so fucking bad actually i cant take it anymore. id legitimately rather die than be in this much pain for a second longer #of course i have to keep taking it cause theres nothing i can do and im just generally pretty overdramatic when it comes to pain #but laying there with all my. fucking. pains and whatever for hours on end #the only thought on my mind was how badly i wish it would just. stop. so i could catch a BREAK #so now the only thought on my mind is how happy i am i dont hurt anymore ^___^ #like i forgot how great it feels to not be in agonizing pain. lmao #ANYWAYS!!!!!! again im just being really dramatic it sucked but genuinely it wasnt that bad but still im glad its over #and like i said i got hella sleep to catch up on so ill see yall later ghehehe