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theboombutton · 3 months

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Bad Fictional Data vs Fictional Bad Data

WARNING: This post will include discussion of a name that might be Alice Dyer's deadname. I won't be calling Alice by this name or using it in the context of that name being a pointer to Alice, but I will be using the name, uncensored, when talking about where and why the name appeared in chdb.xls .

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You may know that as part of the ARG, the sleuths on Statement Remains uncovered a document called chdb.xls, allegedly a list that has something to do with The Magnus Institute. There's a list of names, ID numbers, first and last names, dates of birth, and information apparently related to each person's "score" in an assortment of psychological/personality tests. Three of the names in particular have stood out in a lot of analyses: Samama Khalid, Gerard Kaey [sic], and Connor Dyer.

You likely don't know that the commonly linked version of the spreadsheet, ported to Google Docs and linked in the TMAGP ARG Masterdoc, is presented out of order. (I'm guessing they didn't lock down editing until it was already all out of order from various people messing with it - totally understandable, this is not a callout post, thank you for making this easily accessible to people.)

But let me tell you about something I discovered by looking at the spreadsheet in its original order, and the almost certainly incorrect rabbit hole of theorizing it has sent me down.

Bad Fictional Data

Until episode 2 I had the same thought about the Dyer listed in the spreadsheet that I think most people did: that it was Alice's deadname, and that she had therefore been one of the Institute's young subjects. But after Alice had absolutely no reaction when Sam mentioned the Magnus Institute to her in episode 2, I now think this is significantly less likely.

Don't get me wrong: it's still reasonable to think that the Dyer listed in chdb.xls is Alice. Maybe she had some kind of supernatural experience that wiped her memory. (It probably wasn't that Alice was too young to remember, as the Dyer on the spreadsheet is listed as being at Piaget Stage 3, which occurs from 7-11 years old; but it's always possible that the Magnus Institute was using the names of legitimate psychological tests to hide their tracks when recording more esoteric data.) The point is, this isn't hard evidence that Alice has no connection to the Magnus Institute; it just made me go looking for more evidence.

I went back to the spreadsheet to look for more clues about whether or not this was Alice's deadname. What I found instead was some extremely sloppy fake data at the bottom of the spreadsheet.

For context, here are first ten names in the spreadsheet:

Note how each ID begins with the name's first and last initial.

Now check out the last ten names:

Not only do these IDs no longer always match their subjects' names, they occur in order: CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV. The first names of each pair match the first letter of each ID, but many, though not all, of the surnames don't match the second letter.

My first thought was that whoever Rusty Quill had contracted to generate these names had gotten sloppy at the end of the list, created the IDs all at once using this alphabetical pattern, and picked names to fill in that roughly matched the IDs. But hey, we could use this to our advantage! Any name that was filled in as part of a series of IDs with an alphabetical pattern like this could be removed from consideration for red string analysis - we'd know they were meaningless fakes added by a lazy contractor, and not clues or characters that might show up again later.

Scrolling back up the spreadsheet, we can see the person generating the data having more care the earlier we go. We find the beginning of the AA/BC/DE/FG/HI pattern at line 136, but at first, the names mostly conform to the initials they've been given. JK09874 "Josie Jordan" at line 154 is the first break from the "first two letters of the ID are their initials" pattern; and breaks occur more often the further you go down the sheet.

Scrolling up to before line 136 (AA09911 - Aaron Atkinson), while the pattern isn't yet at AB/CD/EF/GH levels of obviousness, the first initials are still in alphabetical order. Zoe Hart follows Yara Logan follows Xavier Freeman follows Wyatt Edwards. The data creator skips a few letters - for example Niamh Fenton is followed by Phoebe Emmett, and S and T are together in the same line in Skye Travers.

We can follow this less-obvious version of the alphabetical pattern up to an abrupt break right at line 118, above which the IDs don't follow an alphabetical pattern at all. (They might follow a different pattern, but it's not one that I've found yet.) So that means we can discount all the names in line 118 and below as purely fake, generated lazily by a contractor, and not worthy of our attention for the purposes of red-stringing. Right?

What the fuck?!

(highlight is my own, it is not present in the original document)

My first thought was that the sloppy data generator had done the funniest thing imaginable, sending everyone on a wild goose chase about Alice's deadname just by having the name "Dyer" on the brain while looking for a surname that started with D. This would be Very Funny. No plot relevance, no implications, just the brain fart that launched a thousand theories.

My second thought was that maybe Connor Dyer was the last legit name on the list, and whoever started filling the rest of the sheet in with alphabetical junk data was inspired by the "CD" initials in the first place - whoever it was went on from there.

These are both valid thoughts! But I prefer my third thought:

What if it's on purpose?

Fictional Bad Data

There is a very obvious break between the set of data that doesn't look obviously* fake, and the set of data that is immediately identifiable as such. If we assume that this was intentional - and I want to reiterate that it all being unintentional is still a very real possibility here - why would someone at Rusty Quill want the data to be structured like this?

If the sharp dividing line between reasonable-seeming data and obviously fake data is intentional on RQ's part, it would suggest that we should take the data above row 118 as in-universe real data, and the data below row 118 as in-universe falsified data. It suggests that someone, either at the Institute or after its demise, was adding nonexistent children to the roster of The Magnus Institute. Why would someone want to do that?

There are all kinds of possible reasons, but here are a few off the top of my and my theorizing buddies' heads:

Financial fraud (institutional edition). If the Magnus Institute received funding on a per-child basis, they'd have an incentive to inflate their numbers.

Financial fraud (researcher edition). One or more people on staff were blowing off their child-analysis sessions and recording fake numbers for fake children. This would be ballsy as hell if they could be fired for it, but it was the Magnus Institute, so there's decent odds they couldn't be.

Scientific fraud (faking conclusions edition). The Magnus Institute in the Protocolverse claimed to be doing research on giftedness in children, which is the kind of thing that you'd normally publish in a scientific journal. It's not unheard-of for dickhead academics to falsify data to generate statistically significant results, since statistically insignificant results aren't going to get you published.

Scientific fraud (obscuring paranormal bullshit edition). If the Magnus Institute was using legitimate psychological test names to record Fear-related test results, it's possible their results showed different patterns from what you would expect from the real tests. They could have added the fake children to balance out the dataset as a whole.

Pseudonyms. The children are all real, the Institute just started using fake names for them for privacy purposes. They couldn't go back and change the names they'd already written properly for some reason. Probably something paranormal.

Those are all pretty interesting possibilities, and if we could narrow them down, it might tell us something about what things were like at the Magnus Institute before it burned down!

And the other big question is: why did RQ make the dividing line between the two sections, the first likely-fake entry, Connor Dyer?

One straightforward reason could be as a troll, a red herring to watch fans get in a lather over. And once the community inevitably noticed all the obviously falsified entries, RQ could eat popcorn and watch us lose our minds over whether or not that's even a real entry! (That sounds really fun, I would absolutely do that.)

But let's dig a little deeper, and look at what Connor Dyer being on the border between the real and fake entries would mean in-universe. Because of its position as the border between real and fake, it would be very easy for that entry to be accidentally included in the wrong group - a real research subject discarded as fake, or perhaps more interestingly, a fake research subject accidentally reclassified as real.

Remember, if a name is fake in the context of the Magnus Institute's research, that doesn't mean that the name itself is made up. If I was trying to think of a name that fit the initials CD, and those were the initials of my next door neighbor's kid, I might just write their name in as a lark. Especially if it was my first time trying to get away with falsifying information: this is a kid that verifiably exists and lives in the area.

My theory, supported primarily by my love for The Implications instead of actual evidence

Twenty years on, after all institutional memory of the fraud was long gone, trans icon Alice Dyer applies to work for the OIAR - an institution that (according to this theory) has an unofficial preference for hiring former Magnus Institute kids.

They are very confused when Alice proceeds to act nothing like a former Magnus Institute kid. It doesn't occur to anyone that her entry might have been falsified. What reason would anyone have to do that?

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* Of course people with a background in data analysis or statistics will see immediately that even above line 118 this is a wild-ass dataset that would raise red flags for falsification, but at least it's not "the alphabet over and over" levels of obvious.

#tmagp theory #alice dyer #tmagp arg #chdb.xls #tmagp speculation #tmagp #the magnus protocol #cw deadnaming

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whateverisbeautiful · 3 months

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♥️ Ranking Richonne

#19: This Is Good (S6E15)

I mean...do I even need to explain? 😏 I always love this scene for its relaxed, happy, and intimate vibes and for really solidifying that all the romantic sexual tension Rick and Michonne had pre-canon would play out just as perfectly once they could finally act on it and be in love out loud. They do intimacy so well and naturally. The best word to describe this scene is straight-up sensual. And as they let themselves be fully immersed in their Richonne bubble in this scene, I truly believed what they believed - the world is theirs...

I didn’t realize how much opening minutes really used to be blessing us in this series. Cuz in 6.15 we get to see Rick and Michonne cuddled up again for the first time since their canon ep.

And I love that after seeing some couple-y moments with Glenn and Maggie and Abe and Sasha in this episode opener, we get this scene that reminds you there are some powerhouse newlyweds a part of this TWD couple list now. Won’t He do it! 😊

The scene opens with Judith on the baby monitor, which lets you know this is the bedroom of her parents. Plus the baby monitor made an appearance in Rick and Michonne's 6.10 canon moment as well so it sorta connects the two scenes in a way. And their family truly feels so whole now that Rick and Michonne have embraced that they’re meant to be.

I adore the way they're wrapped up in each other, and Michonne’s smile, and the way Rick's kissing her shoulder and like being as close to her as possible. 😍 They just both seem so genuinely content. And even half asleep they can’t keep their hands off each other lol. When I tell you these two are magnets - all you have to do is watch their body language in this scene to know it’s true. 🧲

And then Michonne takes that apple and bites it, and I love the subtle expression Rick makes when she does that. And then this show said, if y'alls' glasses somehow ain't fogged up yet then let’s just keep serving steaminess and have Michonne feed Rick the apple lol. They're wild for putting this moment in, and I'm here for it. 😋

Just their breaths and laughs in this, I love that in this quiet moment, their love is so loud and clear. And the apple suggests two things - 1) Adam and Eve fall-of-man foreshadowing and 2) that they are the hottest couple in all of television. 🔥👌🏽

It’s additional perfection when she runs her hands through his hair, and he immediately goes back to wrapping her in his arms. Um every second of this scene is a blessing. 😍 And of course Rick kisses her again, and the way she rubs his hand that’s holding the apple...Cup runneth over, y’all. It’s so great how natural and comfortable they are to be like this so soon after making their feelings for each other known.

It really does go to show that now they get to do what they've always wanted to do.

Like this feels like a whole passionate morning routine already and the married vibes are immaculate. It confirms how the physical aspect of this relationship was truly the final piece of their already perfect union. They’re happy and fed, and so are we. 😌

And in Rick’s first dialogue of the scene he says the only fitting thing to say on a blissful morning like this. “This is good.” And Michonne agrees it is and notes how Jesus came through. And did. Won’t he do it. 🙌🏾

Rick is really confident saying, "They all did, and they’re going to keep coming through." Homeboy is feeling really hopeful and confident during this period of the show and part of it is def cuz he’s now officially in a relationship with the baddest chick in the game. IJS. 😌

Michonne mentions how Maggie wants her and Glenn to set up watchpoints and Rick is in that lovely 'take a break' mood so he tells her to 'stick around.'

I love that it’s such a common theme for Rick to always want to extend his time with her. I repeat - the world can always wait when Rick is with Michonne.

It’s cute that part of his pitch for her to stick around is that 'Judith isn’t even up yet.' Mom and Dad, y’all. And then Rick really makes his pitch enticing when he starts kissing all over her and making her laugh. 😊

The way they can make each other smile and laugh like no other is the absolute best. (and Rick is more hungry for her than the apple ijs) I love that they’re so unabashed in expressing their love and desire for each other. And you know I’m always happy to see Rick and Michonne's playful side.

Like how great is it that we get to watch a couple that's so grown and mature while still having something youthfully energetic in their want for each other too. 🙌🏾

Michonne is disciplined like no other tho so she laughs and says, "wait no." Rick stops and looks at her asking, "yeah, why not?" in that fine voice and idk how Michonne remembered what she was saying with Rick over her like that lol. But, like I said, Sis is more disciplined than most so while her body language is certainly saying she'd love to stay in bed with him, she also wants to keep her commitment to Maggie and Glenn.

I love how she again runs her hands through Rick's hair while saying Maggie has them on a schedule and she doesn’t want to piss off a pregnant lady. And then Rick’s subtle pout. Every cute choice was made in this scene, I’m telling you. 🥰

Also I was like Michonne, sis, this is your chance to enjoy yourself and maybe even be a pregnant lady too, Maggie will understand lol. Like tell me Maggie wouldn't be like...

But Rick understands and doesn’t want to piss Maggie off either lol so he playfully tells her to go. It’s cute the way he says, "not that pregnant lady," and Michonne says, "right." Always in agreement.😊

And as we know, mornings like this blissful s6 one with Rick will have Michonne also one day being a pregnant lady who's nothing to mess with in the future. 👌🏽

(Side note: I’ve noticed every time Rick and Michonne have a scene chatting in bed together, the one person who comes up each time is Maggie. This scene in 6.15, the bedroom scene in the Sanctuary in 9.01, and their gorgeous bedroom scene in their home in 9.03. Rick and Michonne express care for Maggie's well-being every time, which is part of why it's so unfortunate that Maggie’s relationship with Rick and Michonne ended with a falling out. And the fact that all we know is something vague occurred and somehow Maggie and Michonne grew distant after Rick was gone. It's sad cuz they were shown to mean a lot to each other but then ended on a sour note.)

Rick says go and Michonne laughs as she starts to get up, and Rick again looks so rested and satisfied eating his apple and laying in bed. Michonne be giving that man life, y’all. 😊

Michonne notes that Maggie is worried about an attack and again Rick is confident saying when they come for us, not even "if," but "when," they’ll be ready. He’s extra confident saying this won’t be like before, and "the world's ours, and we know how to take it."

It’s sweet that Rick again takes his time to really reassure Michonne. It’s like he can sense that Michonne too might be having some concern about the looming fight, and so he’s so gentle but certain when he tells her everything they need is inside these walls and they aren’t losing any of it again.

I love that Rick feels they have everything they need, and I know he and Michonne having each other is very much included in that for him. And you can’t fully see it, but you can tell he comfortingly places his hand on her, really wanting her to know, “we’re not losing any of it again.”

And then I love how Rick says, "I’m not." Basically saying, trust me whatever is trying to take from us is going to have to go through me, and it won’t end well for them. And Michonne knows it too so I love the way she believes him and boosts him up saying, “No you’re not.”

She knows Rick is a fighter and a force to be reckoned with. It’s part of why she fell in love with him, and you can see that in this moment.

Also hearing Rick just eating the apple again lol, homeboy ain’t worried about no outside threats in this moment. He’s too busy on cloud nine. Having good fresh food, a strong community, a healthy family, and a goddess of a wife has Rick like...

And because she’s a fighter too, Michonne takes his hand and also says, "I’m not," cuz they’re cut from the same cloth, really and truly. And you just believe the two of them so much when they say this.

Even knowing Negan is coming, you just feel like ultimately he’ll be no match for Rick and Michonne because those two together are unstoppable. 💯

I love that they got this peaceful morning moment to just fully enjoy each other's presence and affirm to each other that what they have is good and not going anywhere. These at-home scenes always paint such a great picture of why Rick and Michonne make for the absolute best husband and wife.

And again, the sensuality of this whole scene is A1. In every inch of every frame. And I remember loving this scene back then but watching it back now it’s even more sensual and sweet than I remember. Like it’s so good from beginning to end and solidified that Rick and Michonne really do work perfectly as a couple. I love the way they talk to each other and so visibly want each other. I’ll say it 1000 times.

Two more cute moments I just want to note in this 6.15 ep are Rick ratting out Michonne and low-key himself too, when he reveals to Morgan that Michonne did steal that protein bar back in King County. Like he thinks he's telling on Michonne but also Rick,...

Cuz Rick stayed letting the world know he remembers pretty much every detail about Michonne. 😋 I love that Rick remembers so much from his first run with Michonne in Clear and then Morgan’s smile like 'oh I know your girl took it.' Also, I just love any time Andy and Lennie get to act together. Legendary talents. 👏🏽

And then I really love the Rick and Abe scene towards the end of the ep too. It’s one of the most heartfelt exchanges between two men on the show imo, and I like how Abe was the tf member who always most wanted the Richonne tea. He’s one of us lol.

It’s always heartwarming seeing Rick ask Abe specifically if Michonne is back yet. Like I’ve said before, some of Rick's Day Ones are out there, but of course, his wife is his utmost concern. And Abe is so compassionate when having to reveal that Michonne is still out there. It’s heartrending that Rick can’t even hide the concern he feels and wants Michonne back home.

I appreciate that Abe seems to notice this and wants to talk about love when asking Rick if he’s scared to go back to it and let someone in close. We know from the "rules keep changing" scene that letting someone in is big for Rick. So he pauses for a moment and answers "yeah" twice.

Abe brings some levity saying how he’s basically ready to blaze a path of his own (with Sasha 😊💜) even despite this world's penchant for taking things away. And Rick’s amused face at Abe is cute.

Then the way Rick stays standing at the gate, almost wanting to will Michonne home. So sweet. 😭

And extra sweet is Abe kindly saying, "any second now" to reassure Rick while he’s in this state of feeling off because Michonne's not okay somewhere, so even from afar, Rick's not entirely okay right now either.

Rick had been feeling so unshakeable all ep, but Michonne being out there while the looming threat of the Saviors is high shows that there are still things he worries about, and of course, Michonne and her safety are high on that list.

I love that despite the scary aspects of letting someone in, in that world especially, Rick and Michonne still dared to do so fully with one another. And because of it, they get to enjoy blissful mornings filled with love like this one here. It was giving newlyweds and married-for-years all at the same time, and I'm eternally here for it. 😌

#richonne #top 30 #number 19 #rick x michonne #twd 6.15 #reveling in richonne #twd towl #the ones who live

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swanpyart · 1 year

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One thing I genuinely like is that, even if they didn’t like each other at first, Brett and Ron didn’t start acting like assholes over their relationships with Reagan.

I feel like a lot of guys in media would be really pissy and jealous if they knew their girlfriend was hanging out with a single guy their age, especially since Brett is pretty cute, so I was afraid of Ron having some kind of fuss over Reagan’s relationship with him. Thankfully that didn’t happen. And in turn, Brett was genuinely excited to meet Ron and not at all intimidated by him being Reagan’s boyfriend, or seeing himself as being replaced. They both initially don’t click, but they both love Reagan and that’s what matters. I just feel like it’s so normalized for guys to be all aggressive when it comes to romance, and im glad it didn’t happen that way.

#inside job #inside job netflix #brett inside job #brett hand #ron staedtler #ron statler #inside job ron #brett hand inside job #inside job part two #ij part 2 #ij part two #reagan ridley inside job #reagan inside job #breagon

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youcouldmakealife · 5 months

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LBTE: Jared (175)

We did it, everyone! We made it to the end. I had no idea what I was getting into over six years(!)ago, and I probably would have balked if I had, so it’s for the best I didn’t.

This is — tough. These two have been constant companions for over half a decade, and in that time I thought about them, without exaggeration, every single day. It’s really difficult to leave that behind. But it’s the right place to leave them, and it’s time.

The LBTE answers some questions re: timeline and the like. I haven't tackled any asks yet since I didn't want to accidentally spoil anyone, and that worked out, because a lot of the asks are answered below.

Okay. Part 175.

Here's the series page one last time, for those following along. Scroll all the way to the end.

Brian’s the one who gives them the news.

Brian does not have to give them this news, frankly it should be Dave, but Brian finds out and he’s so excited(!) he calls Bryce right away. In case you’re wondering if Brian is still the best GM.

He doesn’t know what it takes to be untouchable, but he’s pretty sure trading a Conn Smythe winner with a sweetheart deal would get Brian run out of Vancouver.

The Cup win is a year before the epilogue takes place. Yes, Eastern teams are getting kind of pissed off about this run of Western Conference winners I have going on. Especially because the Scouts are still in the wings, being an annoying as hell dynasty.

Bryce signed an 8x8 in the summer following the end of IJ(aoe). 64 million dollars is obviously nothing to scoff at, but he could have made 9+ on the open market, easy.

Jared’s was 2.5x4. Which is MORE than he’d get open market, especially regarding term, but like, did you just see the hometown discount Marcus gave them? His husband being there is kind of a condition.

Okay, so maybe Jared isn’t exactly calm, because he doesn’t think running through negative scenarios is calm, exactly, but it does calm him just enough that he isn’t plastering himself to Bryce in an attempt to eavesdrop.

Maybe not plastering himself, but he is inching closer and closer as this conversation goes on.

“Yeah, he’s sitting right beside me,” Bryce says. “He hasn’t ripped the phone out of my hand yet, but he’s definitely considering it.”

And glaring. Oh, the glaring Bryce is on the receiving end of right now.

“I’m up for the King Clancy,” Bryce says.

A leadership and humanitarian award, though the Mark Messier Leadership Award (HAH) is defacto now more straight team leadership, and the King Clancy has mostly become charitable impact in local community. Though it does tend to go to players in leadership roles (captains, alternates), it isn’t exclusive to them.

"Wouldn’t I just be a distraction?” Jared asks.

Bruh. You think Bryce would go to the Awards without you? Like, for any award, but the one for starting a charity that he never would have been in the mental place to start were it not for his relationship with you?

If he’d thought for even a millisecond before opening his mouth he would not have said this. Some things have not changed in the Marcus Matheson household.

“Us doesn’t take things away from me,” Bryce says. “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t met you.”

“I know, but—“

“No, seriously, J,” Bryce says. “That’s not — you think the guy you met would have done like, any of this? I couldn’t even think about shit without needing to climb out of my head.”

So like — if IJ(aoe) was the traditional storyline following a hero’s ups and downs, the hero pretty clearly would be Bryce. And when the hero’s struggling and lashing out and pretending to be someone he’s not, and hating both himself and the person he’s pretending to be, he gets assigned community service and he meets the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

And now he has to face those parts of himself he’s trying to bury, because those parts are loudly telling him he needs to be around this person every single second of every single day.

And this person doesn’t like the persona the hero’s put on. He likes the person the hero is, which is sensitive, and empathetic, and emotional, all those things the hero’s been told he can’t be, shouldn’t be, that’s what the love interest wants him to be. Exactly who he is.

Bryce wouldn’t have had the guts to take off the mask if, every step of the way, Jared wasn’t letting him know, with word and deed, that guy under the mask was the person he was in love with.

And that’s not even getting into the fact that, from the beginning, Jared is much more comfortable with his sexuality, and people knowing about his sexuality, than Bryce is.

Bryce kisses him quiet, and Jared’s grateful, because he wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his mouth, stomach twisting just saying them. He suddenly felt this visceral, totally illogical anger toward someone who doesn’t actually exist, or like, exists somewhere, not knowing there’s this huge hole in his life because Bryce Marcus isn’t in it. Fuck that guy, though. Better him than Jared.

Jared doesn’t fight but he’ll make an exception for that guy.

“You’ll come?” Bryce asks.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “I’ll come. Of course I’ll come.”

An echo of all of one part ago! Of course. Jared’s answer to Bryce’s question is of course. Even if it’s a ride in an obnoxiously showy convertible or a trip to Las Vegas in June.

Or any other month, he supposes, though the league’s getting pretty deep into talks to make it an expansion team, so that may change.

I still haven’t decided vis a vis expansion teams (and certainly haven't decided when that would take effect) but I’ve realised I can yoink players from other teams and then put them on one team TOGETHER, like one big summer camp, and that sounds chaotic and fun.

Bryce squeezes his knee, like he knows he’s thinking angry thoughts. Probably not hard to guess. They pass a building’s display flipping from the time to the temperature. 106. That’s a life-threatening fever. They’re in a life-threatening fever.

I checked the temperature in late June over the course of four years so this would be accurate, and accuracy is a high grade fever. If it’s 106 inside, go to the hospital. Outside, you’re in Vegas in late June.

“Did you know it’s forty-one degrees out?” Jared demands.

Bryce squeezes his knee again.

“I know,” Jared mutters.

Look at Bryce handling him without a word.

snapping a picture of the view from their window for the group chat, captioning it with Man’s hubris, then changing for dinner.

Jared Matheson, everyone.

He’s halfway through a reply when the elevator doors open, which means he doesn’t realise he’s sharing the elevator with Brandon Simcoe until the doors have already closed behind him, and now he’s trapped with him for the next 23 floors. Unless he hits the button for the next floor, but that’s showing weakness, right? Jared’s pretty sure that’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to do when faced with an apex predator. What’s he supposed to do, though, ignore him? Play dead?

He’s such a drama queen. Shithead’s harmless.

(This is not true even a little; it’s fun that the first real view anyone got of Shithead was Joey’s, because Shithead IS harmless to Joey. He loves Joey! Then you’ve got Holden getting cross-checked black and blue by him even though Shithead likes him in COTT. Bryce? Not his friend. Not harmless.

“Yeah,” Jared says. What’s he going to do, disavow his own husband to save his skin? It clearly wouldn’t even work. “That’s — yeah, I am.”

Got to love Jared’s moral calculus does take into account whether going ‘Bryce Marcus who?’ would save his skin, and only rejecting that option because Shithead clearly wouldn’t believe him.

“Cool,” Simcoe says. “You know, my best buddy back on the Scouts is gay. Fucking love that guy.”

Joey: Bud you gotta stop telling everybody that.

Shithead: That you’re gay?

Joey: That I’m your best buddy.

“What, that I love him?” Simcoe says. “Oh man, I didn’t mean that way, he’s got a fiancé. And I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Obviously. You know.”

;-; Brandon

Anyway, no ScratchnMoney marriage yet. We haven't gotten THAT far into the future.

“We’re not like—“ Jared says. “You know we don’t all like…talk, right? We don’t have a gay player group chat or anything.”

“You should, it’d be sick,” Simcoe says.

I’m with Shithead on this. Get on it, Marc.

The elevator doors open, and Simcoe claps him on the back so hard Jared has to put a foot forward so he doesn’t careen right into the elevator wall, says, “Love is love, man, love is love,” then walks away.

Your periodic reminder that Shithead is the Bruins’ YCP rep.

He sums things up to the group chat while he waits for his heart rate to slow, his knees to cooperate again. He’s just finished when Bryce walks out of the restaurant across the lobby, beelining for him like he’s got a Jared-dar.

I spelled that so many ways before I settled on Jared-dar. Jaredar. Jared-Dar. Jare-dar. Nothing feels right.

Anyway, Bryce definitely has one of those installed.

“You’re sure you’re good?” Bryce asks, fingers in Jared’s hair now, like he’s feeling for bumps and bruises.

Jared laughs. “Oh my god, the most violent thing he did was pat me on the back a little too hard.”

Bryce starts patting down Jared’s back.

Both of them reacting like Jared just got out of a tiger enclosure is great.

Summers, thankfully, doesn’t take Bryce ditching him over an elevator conversation as an insult. He thinks it’s hilarious, in fact, and it ends up being the nicest dinner Jared’s had with both of them. Which isn’t saying much, really, but it is something.

‘My husband was stuck in an elevator with a dude I’ve punched in the face like half a dozen different times’ is delightful to Dave. Emergency accepted.

Anyway, Bryce and Dave aren’t suddenly David and Dave, they still tend to get under each other’s skin, sometimes accidentally, sometimes not, but they’re both getting better.

Elaine and her boyfriend arrive from Vancouver not long after they wrap it up, and Bryce shakes his hand and says his name without scowling once, which is also a first.

Never mind the reams of paper I could have written about the road to the Cup, and the Cup, and Raf’s wedding, and Chaz’s wedding — this right here could have been an arc in itself.

He’s definitely had help. From Elaine, of course, but Jared suspects Ash’s involvement too, along with possibly Erin’s — ‘my beloved sister’ certainly sounds like her doing. He wouldn’t even be surprised if PR Grace took a swipe at it — some of it has that PR gloss to it, though not so much that it feels over-polished.

All have had a hand in this speech, yes. Also Stephen and Gabe. (Bryce used Stephen as a stand-in for Jared in the ‘make sure this isn’t too cheesy’ aspect.)

“Really,” Jared says. “You can probably cut the stuff about me by half, though. Possibly three quarters. Just leave it at, I don’t know, ‘shoutout to my husband Jared’ and move right on?”

It’s cute you think that’s even worth the effort of saying.

Jared’s in a custom tailored suit made with ‘summer fabric’, whatever that is, other than cooler than the usual suit fabric, thank fuck.

It’s just linen. Jared tends to tune out immediately where any of this is involved because he knows Bryce has it handled.

He’d originally protested that he could just wear the suit he wore at Raf’s wedding, because Bryce was practically obsessed with him in it at the time

That suit was tailored to perfection. Bryce wants to know the name of Raf’s guy.

Anyway, not so subtle implication minimum two years have passed since the end of IJ(aoe) as Raf’s wedding was a year out from the end, and Jared isn’t talking about Raf’s wedding like it was a week ago.

Also summer fabric’s not a bad thing, considering he’s got four weddings to go to in the next three months, including Gabe and Stephen’s. Canucks just can’t stop proposing. It’s frankly gotten ridiculous.

Okay, another ask I got: was the Stanley Cup recent or older. The epilogue is a year after they win the Cup — most of those proposals took place in the weeks following the Cup, and now, a year later, the weddings are happening.

Including Gabe and Stephen’s, and yes: the original just city hall with immediate family ceremony is no longer canon because the sad eyes Gabe would get from his entire team. Why does he not want them there. etc. (Gabe’s mom is so happy I changed this.)

Right now he’s grateful for his suit, because as hot as he is — and he is disgustingly hot — at least he isn’t wearing wool like the poor kid in front of him. He looks miserable. Also about twelve years old, but then, he’s there for the Calder. He isn’t going to win it — there’s a very clear front runner and it’s not him — and Jared feels kind of bad that he’s not only a loser, but a loser in a hot as fuck suit, who’s too young to legally do anything Vegas was built for.

Have been asked a few times who this is. No one who’s been established in the ‘verse, but I fucking feel for this dude. Him and the Calder winner should totally hook up later. For tradition’s sake.

Jared may as well go over to the group, sign some autographs and take a few selfies while he waits for Bryce and Elaine to catch up. He plans on taking his time, but one of the girls asks Jared to marry her, and then asks him to sign her chest.

Jared misses anonymity.

“I said no,” Bryce assures him.

“I wasn’t worried,” Jared says. “You being gay is kind of why we’re here.”

“It was a guy,” Bryce says.

“Still not worried,” Jared says.

“You don’t ever have to be,” Bryce says, very seriously, and thankfully Elaine pats Bryce’s arm so Jared doesn’t have to. Like he said: not worried.

Jared has absolutely zero concerns about Bryce straying. Less than zero.

Jared would protest that it’s just a nervous habit, but that would directly contradict him telling Bryce he wasn’t nervous right before the red carpet, and Bryce clearly knows it.

Why must you call Jared on his lies, Bryce?

“I feel like I’m at the draft again,” Jared says, wiping his palms on his slacks, even though the AC is so high he’s actually a little chilly. They must have it cranked to the max in a war with the swelter outside.

It's fun to send Jared to Vegas in June after he bitched so much about Tampa in June. Boy does not handle heat with grace.

"I've mentioned that I'm proud of you, right?" Jared asks.

"I know you are," Bryce says, which is a very nice way of saying no.

Another call back to last part! Because Jared is his father’s son whether he likes it or not.

"I know, babe," Bryce says. "You telling Ash and Grace and Erin their partners are losers who've never even been nominated for anything was kind of a sign. Which like, you remember Julius won the Calder, right? Because Erin definitely does."

This didn’t make it into the final bit, but Jared receives this immediately after Bryce wins the King Clancy:

"Okay phew Bryce won so I can send this: I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE (your wonderful husband that you do not deserve) JULIUS HALLA WON AN AWARD IN THE VERY 1ST YEAR OF HIS NHL CAREER AND MOREOVER WAS NOMINATED…" She would have sent it anyway, Jared's pretty sure, she just would have waited until tomorrow.

"Fuck," Jared repeats. He wasn't one of the top finalists, because the Oilers sucked hard even with all he did for them, but still, he was. "Erin's going to be on me about this forever."

Deservedly. How dare you forget Julius’ Calder.

“If they don’t give you the award I don’t know what I’ll do,” Jared says. Maybe burn the theatre down, though he’d probably die of heat stroke before he pulled it off.

Jared turns to arson quicker and quicker as this series goes on.

“Hey man, good to see you again,” Simcoe says, then looks at Bryce, mouth flattening. Bryce looks back, mouth just as flat as Simcoe’s. They hold eye contact for long enough that Simcoe’s date coughs, giving Jared an awkward smile.

I knew what the people needed: more Shithead.

“I can’t see past his head,” Bryce complains.

“Not my fault you’re short, bro,” Simcoe says, without turning around.

Shithead’s a monster. Like, physically, as well as everything else.

“Be the bigger man than him,” Jared murmurs to him. “Proverbially, if not literally.”

Bryce scowls, foot coming up in position dangerously close to seat kicking.

I think repeatedly kicking the seat in front of you may lose some points on the leadership aspect of the award, but also, the committee might make an exception because it’s Shithead.

“Do not,” Jared says.

“Or what,” Bryce says.

“I’ll switch spots with Elaine,” Jared says. “Hang out with her boyfriend for the rest of the show. Do some nice bonding.”

Bryce makes a furious noise, but lowers his foot to the ground from its current ‘in preparation to kick’ position, so Jared considers it a win.

As you can see here, Bryce is taking Elaine dating with tremendous maturity and dignity.

The show itself is excruciating, a mix of bad jokes, a rock-ish country-ish band Jared’s pretty sure he’s obligated to like as a born and raised Albertan, but refuses to due to the fact they suck, and a distribution of all the awards everyone already knew the winner of.

I’m not vagueblogging about Nickelback or anything, just describing a significant number of bands from Alberta.

Bryce mutely holds out his hand, and Jared takes it, squeezing when Bryce gives him a slightly sickly smile. He looks nervous as hell now, and any other time Jared would point that out, but not right now, not today.

The smile Jared gives Bryce is just as sickly, for the record.

but when Bryce stands up, he does too. Has to, considering how tightly he’s holding his hand.

Literally one unit.

“Can I kiss you right now,” Bryce says. They may be out, but they haven’t, not in public. Even when they won the Cup they settled for hugs until the cameras were put away.

Bryce wholly intended to just hug Jared this time too (or else they would have discussed this before like, that second) but he just — really wants to kiss Jared right now.

“Please,” Bryce says, and Jared’s barely nodded before Bryce is hauling him in.

Needs to, really.

And objectively, it’s a shitty kiss. Has to be one of the worst they’ve ever shared, and neither of them can stop smiling long enough to fix it even a little. But with Bryce’s hands cradling his head, Bryce’s grin splitting his face it’s so fucking wide, Jared can’t bring himself to mind.

And like their engagement, and their wedding, and Bryce doing all the machinations to get himself to Vancouver, the kiss fucking sucks. Because, once again, they’re both grinning too hard to kiss each other properly, but they can’t stop smiling long enough kiss each other properly, and they refuse to stop kissing.

And yeah. In the traditional story, the hero goes from the talented but angry, terrified, self-hating player walking into a hockey camp for community service because it’s that or probation. And then, around decade later, he’s kissing his husband on a nationally televised show, after accepting an award for working with LGBTQ youth athletes, with the frankly too hot for him love interest supporting and pushing him the whole way.

If you’d have told a 20 year old Bryce that was coming, he’d have probably punched you (Oilers fan was a time traveller: confirmed). But he’s done so much growing up — not just from who I thought he was, or Jared thought he was (neither of us gave him nearly enough credit at the start), but from who he thought he was, or had the potential to be.

I wrote the as sort of a summary of the final part about a year ago, an encapsulation of the entire series in one sentence, to keep in mind as I finished the series.

The biggest goal for Bryce, along the way, is being seen and accepted for who he actually is. Bryce wants that for others too. Jared just wants it for Bryce.

The hero of the story doesn’t narrate this one, but the narrator is, without a doubt, his biggest fan.

(He is aware he shares this title with Elaine.)

#liveblogging the end

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