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total-dxmure · 2 months

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ೃ࿔ CHERRY FLAVORED →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER ONE

pairing: mega fan!ellie williams x rock star!reader

summary: your guitarist was carted off to rehab after just one month into your recent tour. fuck. there’s only one thing you can do, and that’s hire a replacement. your band thinks it’s going to be nearly impossible to find someone that is on the same level of talent as your “beloved” guitarist. you don’t have high hopes that anyone can nail the songs quite like he did either, if you’re being brutally honest. enter ellie- she’s a mega fan. the girl knows every lyric and note like the back of her hand. . . and everything about you, which isn’t creepy at all. her apparent obsession with you is something that you and your tour manager can overlook if it means carrying on with the rest of the tour. forced proximity with a stalker-level fan . . . what’s the worst thing that could happen?

warnings: smut in next chapter, talk of substance abuse, the reader is a tease and a bit of a bitch but it’s hot i promise, ellie is obsessed with reader to an unhealthy degree.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

It was the kind of love that tortured poets mused over. Ribs straining against a heavy heart.

Ellie had deluded herself, as any love drunk person does, that she wouldn’t dissolve into a puddle on the floor if she were to meet you. She could keep her cool- downplay the crushing significance you held in her life. Your voice was constantly ringing in her ears. She could see your face in perfect clarity any time she closed her eyes. Pictures like snapshots played out behind her eyelids, and yet you always felt a million miles away for her. You were a perfect performer, situated on your sky-high pedestal, always out of her puny reach.

Because Ellie, as much as she despised this fact and dreamed of greatness, was a nobody. She grew up in a tiny town of no noteworthiness, her adolescent years spent dreaming about the planets and playing guitar with Joel. By all accounts Ellie was normal, while you were certainly not. Still, she liked to tell herself that she’d somehow manage to make herself worthy of your affections if she were ever to be blessed with them.

Finding herself in a situation like this seemed like an impossibility. She was partially convinced that she was daydreaming, having concocted some elaborate fantasy just to feed the insatiable ache. She was starved for you with no way to feed herself.

All it had taken was a single audition tape. One. Single. Tape. Ellie was staring, wide eyed, at Gene fuckin’ Murray.

The blood rushed from her head, hands breaking out instantaneously into a clammy sweat. She couldn’t think, couldn’t function at the realization that she was staring at one of the people that she had worshiped for years. Gene’s talent had been praised by the likes of Lars Ulrich and Danny Carey. He wasn’t popular just for his looks but for his undeniable talent.

And he was staring straight at Ellie, arms crossed over his toned chest as he waited expectantly. She felt like an idiot. Should she be playing? If so, what did they want her to play? Surely one of their songs. She’d glossed past the fact that she was a megafan, instead making it sound like she was just looking for a successful band to join. She was talented. No, Ellie was really talented.

She wasn’t just a technical player, but excelled at making her own rules. She enjoyed the creative freedom that playing the guitar granted, and felt as though the world needed more Jimi’s and Van Halen’s. Ellie excelled at thinking outside of the box.

She wasn’t very successful when it came to women, but had no problem making her guitar scream and cry for her.

So she took a deep breath and tried to steady her heart, once again stepping up to the mic. If there was one thing that all of your bandmates had in common, it was the attitude. She’d watched hundreds of interviews, had studied all of their movements and mannerisms. . .she understood you down to a science.

“So do you want me to play or what?” Ellie spoke into the mic, gripping the neck of the guitar in the hopes that it might act as an anchor. She was scared that she might float away.

The manager’s eyebrows twitched at her sudden change in attitude but he didn’t say anything, merely turned to look at Gene. For a second everyone just stared at her, like a bug under a microscope. After what felt like five minutes but was really just five seconds, Gene broke out into a grin, motioning to her with a flick of his wrist. He wasn’t confident in her, Ellie could tell.

She had a sweet face, she knew that. Big green eyes and freckles- she was unsuspecting. People were usually shocked to find out that she had wrestled competitively in high school and had no problem putting a man three times her size on his ass. People expected very little from her, and perhaps that was part of Ellie’s real charm.

“What song?” She was staring at Gene now, gripping her guitar pick between two sweat-slick fingers.

“What ‘bout ‘Sometime Soon’? Know that one?” His tone was teasing. Condescending.

The song was fast paced. It was supposed to be played loud and hard- one of your angrier songs. Ellie knew that you had been the one to write this one, meaning it was one of her favorites. The notes weren’t beginner friendly, but it wasn’t exactly hard for her.

It was more style, less technical ability- which meant that Ellie would have no problem making this song her bitch.

It was obvious that Gene was the one meant to judge her. The manager was just that- a manager. They needed an actual musician to listen in. So she took a deep breath and readied herself. . .

and then the sound of your singing voice blasted into the booth. Drums, bass- she was meant to play with you.

She almost missed her que, eyes widening in nervousness. She thought that she’d be playing all by her lonesome. She thought wrong it would seem. They’d started her off right in the middle of the song. Probably to throw her off. She jumped in, fingers sliding along the frets to shape out the correct notes. She tucked her guitar pick against the palm of her hand with her thumb, using the pads of her fingers to tap the strings. Faster. Faster. Faster. She didn’t look up from her guitar to look at the men’s reactions to her playing. Instead she just pretended she was standing in the living room of her apartment, hellbent on getting another noise complaint from the bitchy nextdoor neighbor.

Her calloused fingers pinched the strings, satisfied with the way the guitar whined over the speakers. The guitar solo in this song was meant to be impressive- and it was, she had to give it to Leon. A lot of it was just bullshitting though. He’d admitted that he came up with the solo in the actual sound booth off of the top of his head while they were recording the song.

The man was a god. He deserved “guitarist of the year” two years in a row. Ellie had the Los Angeles native beat though. Where he had grown up in the constant presence of “the greats”, Ellie had grown up in a constant state of boredom. She’d been playing the guitar since she was fourteen. Every day she’d sit down for hours and practice until her fingers bled. . . literally. She had thousands of hours on Leon, and she knew that with certainty.

Ellie moved the guitar up and down gently with her fret hand, prolonging the last note so that it cried the way she wanted it to. The muscles in her arms were sore from how hard she had been tensing during the song. She’d been a lot more mechanical about it than she was used to, but she had something to prove.

After a second she looked up from her guitar to gauge everyone’s reactions. The manager had dropped his cold and indifferent demeanor, instead flashing her a small smile. It bolstered her, gave her the strength to turn and look at Gene.

He still had his arms crossed over his chest, and for a second Ellie was sure that he would tell her that she sucked. She widened her stance, shuffling her feet so that she was in a more defensive position. His heated gaze made her feel as though she needed to protect herself from whatever mental anguish he was about to put her through.

“I thought she was kick ass,” Gene finally spoke up, giving Ellie a small thumbs up. Her face lit up into a wide smile before she could school her reaction into one of indifference. “What do you think? You’re the one that calls all the shots.” He spoke behind him, looking down at someone that had been hidden on the couch all along.

Ellie squinted her eyes, taking a step closer to the glass to see if there was another businessman she’d somehow overlooked.

She saw your hair before she saw anything else. It was freshly dyed, different than the last she’d seen you in all of the recent tabloid photos. You were clad in leather- pants so tight that they looked like a second skin. Your top was just as restrictive, breasts spilling out from the top, midriff revealed to show off the small silver piercing you had decorating your belly button.

You were Hecate in the flesh- dark, sinister, mysterious and capable of anything. Ellie didn’t think that it would be possible, but you were even prettier in person. The sight of you sent a shock through her system, and for a second she felt her knees quiver, as if she could no longer hold up the weight of her own body. Her insides turned to mush; white, hot mush.

The Stendhal syndrome: Ellie had been brought to the very precipice of existence by sight alone. She was so overcome by your mere existence that she felt her eyes begin to well up with tears. Body trembling, eyes locked on to your face and nothing else- it felt like she might faint. She remembered reading about the syndrome once before in an art history class she took in college.

“Absorbed in the contemplation of sublime beauty. . . I reached the point where one encounters celestial sensations.”

The urge to flee was just as great as the urge to get her hands on you was. She was thankful for the wide stance she was currently in, because if her legs had been any closer together then she was positive she would have lost her balance and fallen over.

You were right there in front of her. You’d been right in front of her the entire time, she’d just been so focused on Gene that she hadn’t even seen you in her panic. She stumbled forward, her sneakered foot catching the jack for the amp. She slapped her hands over her ears as a blood curdling screech began blaring over the speakers.

Ellie could have died. In fact. . . she just might. She dropped her guitar roughly on the ground as she raced over towards the amp, fingers shaking as she turned the knob to the volume.

The booth, once again, was silent. Silent enough to hear a pin drop. Slowly she turned, grimacing when she noticed the looks on everyone’s faces. She’d embarrassed herself and ruined her chance. Even worse was the fact that she’d humiliated herself in front of you.

She had somehow deluded herself into believing that the two of you were soulmates over the years. She’d compared your birth charts, life numbers- had taken multiple celebrity compatibility tests. All signs pointed to a resounding yes. The two of you were star crossed lovers, cursed to never know one another. She had told herself that if she were ever to bump into you in person that she’d be able to keep her cool. Ellie was certain that she could pretend that she didn’t know who you are- could downplay the significance that you held

Her ignorance was laughable. She’d been so overcome by your mere presence that she’d stumbled on air while standing completely still. You were standing up straight now, and even from her spot behind the thick glass she could tell how much taller you were than her. You had to be wearing heels or platforms, because according to Google you were-

“You know how many auditions we’ve listened to today?” You had grappled the mic from the tech and were now hunched over his soundboard, the lights from all of the buttons and knobs casting strange, beautiful shadows over your face. Your eyeliner was dark and smoked out around your eyes, and in that moment Ellie wondered if you were an angel or a demon. “Twelve. Twelve fuckin’ people have walked into that booth today. Every single one of them has been absolute shit. So bad, in fact, that I’ve wanted to blow my fuckin’ brains out in this buildings tiny, piss-stained bathroom.”

Ellie blanched, lips losing their pink color as the blood drained from her face. She was about to pass out. Her vision was already starting to tunnel. She grabbed onto one of the microphone stands to hold herself up, trying to keep her expression hard and unreadable. People often told her that she had “dead eyes”, and she could only pray that her face wasn’t giving her crushing grief away. It felt like someone had just died; like she had just died. Actually, she would have rather you just go ahead and stab her then tell her she sucked. You were her idol, her dream girl, her everything.

And you were telling her that you’d rather blow your fucking brains out then listen to her play. How was she supposed to recover from this? She’d heard the saying “don’t meet your heroes” a thousand times, but this? She’d rather you just be a bitch to her. Actually, Ellie would probably like that. This was the worst thing she could have ever heard. Her nose twitched as tears began pooling in her eyes. She blinked a few times, praying that you couldn’t tell in the nearly pitch black room you were standing in.

“But this?” You turned towards your manager and pointed passionately at Ellie. “This is music.”

Breath left her lungs in a loud, audible whooshing sound, like a balloon deflating. Her shoulders relaxed, the hand that was white knuckling the mic stand falling limp at her side. No, you didn’t hate her. You liked her.

You liked her.

Everyone had their vices. Leon’s had, apparently, been copious amounts of prescription drugs- often consumed simultaneously. You were used to getting what you wanted. You drank whenever you wanted to, fucked just about anyone that peaked your interest and got away with your usual rotten antics and bitchy behavior. You lived the lifestyle that you’d always dreamt of, even when you were a little kid.

You enjoyed putting on shows. You were flamboyant, loud, and weren’t afraid of expressing yourself. Teachers often described you as a “free thinker” back in your elementary school days. You dressed yourself for school each morning, each outfit louder and more daring than the next. You were an artist, and like most artists you had some inner demons that you fought against. You still fought tooth and nail, even to this day.

Finally though, after what felt like a thousand years of waiting and biding your time, you had the life you had always yearned for.

You sold out arenas, appeared on the front page of just about every magazine imaginable, and had celebrities clamoring over themselves to be your “best friend” of the week. Things were good.

But also a bit empty.

The friends that you’d made in your youth only used your name for bragging rights. Your parents had stopped showing up to concerts years ago, instead choosing to listen about your successes through their shitty television shows. Life felt a bit hollow.

Exciting. . . just different than you had always been used to.

“Come play with us.” One of the women whined from her spot on your plush hotel mattress. The bombshell blonde was already stripped down to her underwear, her eyes glazed over from whatever overpriced alcohol she’d already taken from the suite's bar, at your expense no doubt.

Your manager was used to the up-charges on the company card. He would probably be relieved in the morning when he found out that you didn’t break anything. There was still time for that, of course. It was only one in the morning, which meant you had nine more hours to get fucked up and wreck the cushy room.

“I’m not feeling up to it right now.” You said simply, already disinterested in the two women you had invited to bed with you tonight. You were holding a beer bottle loosely between two of your fingers, swishing the remainder of the room temperature alcohol absentmindedly.

You weren’t much of an “observer” when it came to sex, more of a very active participant. Still, all you could do was sit back in one of the comfortable lounge chairs, muscles tense after a long show. You weren’t exactly sure why you’d invited the women back to the hotel. They were both attractive and had come onto you at the same time. It was obvious what they had been insinuating, and who were you to deny two beautiful women? The first thing that had popped into your head being “a threesome might make me happy”.

Except now you were bored out of your skull and would much rather be sleeping right now than watch two ditzy girls clumsily fondle each other’s fake breasts.

“Please? I want you to fuck me so bad-” There was a knock at the door, causing both girls to go silent for a second.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, exhaustion threatening to swallow you up whole. If it was your manager here to yell at you for “accidentally” breaking an amp at tonight's show you were going to scream. It was too late for that bullshit. Still, you saw this excuse as a blessing.

“Hear that, ladies? Looks like we’ve gotta pack it up. Thanks for showing me a good time.” You stood up from the seat with a small groan, placing your beer bottle onto the counter clumsily. The glass clattered, almost spilling all over the shag carpet.

The two girls groaned, obviously frustrated that they hadn’t successfully gotten you into bed with them. You weren’t sure what was wrong with you lately. If this had happened a few months ago then. . . well, you would have fucked them- no questions asked. Were you maturing out of your “wild and crazy” phase? No, you didn’t think so.

You bent down, scooping up a discarded bra so that you could toss it onto the bed. Fabric rustled behind you as they began to quickly sort themselves out, hoping to beat you to the door.

“Who is it?” You called out in a sing-song voice, deciding that if your manager was already angry enough to show up in front of your door at one in the morning then you might as well have a little fun with it.

There was no reply on the other side of the door, causing you to scoff. He was giving you the silent treatment. You reached out for the door handle, only to have your shirt yanked on by one of the women. You could hear the seams ripping against the weight of her, her eyes wide with desperation.

“Please let me show you a good time. I promise I’m good- I swear.” There was a fear of rejection there, you could tell.

You felt a bit guilty and were quick to lean in to press a kiss on her cheek. “Baby, you’re gorgeous. I’m sure you would have been wonderful- but I’m tired. That’s all, okay? It’s nothing personal.”

And with that you opened the door. The air from the hallway was brisk, causing goosebumps to instantly break out on your bare arms and legs. You were expecting the balding, bespectacled Barry to be standing on the other side of the door, all in a huff about “expenses” and “damages to the venue”. Blah, blah, blah.

Instead it was Ellie. A very broken looking Ellie.

The girls were quick to straighten out their outfits, their attention now turned towards the guitarist. Groupies like this didn’t care who they slept with, just so long as they were getting it in with someone that was in the band.

“You’re Emma. . . right? The new guitarist? You were so great tonight. I mean- Leon was always a bit of a poser anyway. You’re killing it.” One of the girls started, moving to stand next to you in the doorway.

You weren’t sure why, but you felt angry. Genuinely angry. Were you jealous of Ellie? No, because you were sure they would still rather fuck you than her. You’d been their first choice, afterall. Maybe you felt the need to shelter Ellie a bit? Yeah, that had to be it. She was still learning the ropes, and the last thing she needed was to be sexually harassed in a hotel hallway.

“. . . -lie” She was mumbling under her breath, eyes locked on the expensive carpet beneath her ratty old sneakers.

She had changed out of her stage clothes and put on jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair looked wet too, meaning she’d already taken a shower. She smelled earthy- Alpine, even.

You leaned against the frame, slamming your hand against the doorway to box the two women in, hoping to keep them away from the newbie. They flinched but both seemingly weren’t off put in their newfound pursuit.

“You’re the most talented guitarist I’ve ever seen live. I mean. . . your solos were incredible.” You hadn’t managed to successfully remember the girl’s names. Just that they were friends with two guys that had worked security for the venue tonight. People often took advantage of connections like that in order to get close to you and your bandmates. It usually worked too. Tonight was different though. Tonight you had a real stick up your ass.

Ashley? Amber? Sophie? God, you were bad with names.

“. . . -is Ellie.” Your guitarist mumbled again, slowly moving back down the hall in the direction of her suite.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion over her attitude, and you were quick to stumble out of your room and down the hall after her.

“Wait! Emma, can we get an autograph!” One of the half naked girls called after the two of you, trying desperately to shrug on her shirt to follow after.

Ellie turned then, eyes narrowed and teeth bared. You’d. . . You’d never seen her like that before.

“My name is fucking Ellie! Who is Emma? Jesus fuckin’ Christ-” She dug her hand into the back pocket of her jeans, trying desperately to find her keycard.

The girls gasped at her outburst, jostled by the look of pure evil on her face. Even you were taken aback, not used to this kind of attitude from her. Still, you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t know why she was acting like this.

Ellie was what some would call a “mega fan”, though that would be putting it lightly. The word “stalker” would be more appropriate. Your manager knew that before he even messaged her for an audition. He’d checked all of her social media sites and scrubbed the internet for anything he could find on her. One thing was made very clear:

Ellie was obsessed with you.

For whatever reason she seemed to be keeping it a secret from Gene and Chris. All she fessed up to them was that she enjoyed your music, which was why she’d auditioned in the first place. She’d conveniently left out the dedicated fan blogs and the status of her cult-like following.

You didn’t mind it. Sure, it was a bit creepy. . . but she was talented and you liked her. She could hold her own against Gene and Chris’ constant asshole behavior, and had been receptive to Barry trying to teach her the ropes of the business. It was obvious that she wanted this, even if her motives weren’t exactly purely for the music. You’d let her be as close to you as she wanted if it meant that she’d continue playing the way that she does. The crowd had loved her, and it was only her second show with the band.

She was a bit shy, but that would pass eventually. You remember your early debut days vividly. You’d been just like her, maybe even a little worse.

“Hey, stop for a second.” You reached out to grab her wrist, stopping her from fleeing after her outburst. She turned to glare at you, but her eyes softened as she took in your features.

You could feel her arm trembling in your grasp, so you gently let go. No matter how many times you touched her or spent time with her, she still seemed to get overly nervous in your presence. It was endearing.

“Aren’t you a bit busy? Don’t let me ruin your fun-” She was being sarcastic.

“I was done with them by the time you knocked on the door. They aren’t exactly my type. I’m not sure why I even invited them back in the first place.” If you had to guess, you’d probably done it out of habit. You were used to inviting people back to your room or tour bus.

Ellie didn’t seem pleased by your answer. If anything it seemed to upset her even more. She bristled, reaching back into her pocket for her keycard. What did she want to hear? That you hadn’t touched them? You groaned, wiping an exhausted hand down your face.

The elevator dinged behind you, meaning the girls had finally taken the hint and were leaving with their tails tucked between their legs.

“Are you jealous or something?” You asked once the elevator doors were closed. The last thing you needed were the girls trying to sell information to some shitty gossip magazine.

She froze, eyes going wide and lips going pale. It was almost like she didn’t think that you knew all about her dirty little secret. A part of you wanted to tease her. Really make her squirm.

“Why would I be jealous? Those girls weren’t exactly my type either.” She was good at playing things off. Ellie was a good liar.

But you were good at sniffing out the bullshit. It was one of your many talents.

“Not of me,” You leaned against the wall next to her door, watching with curious eyes as she began fumbling in her pockets for her key. “Of them. Do you wish I had taken you back to my room or something?” You cooed flirtatiously, flashing her one of your most sinister smiles.

She coughed, turning around so that she could hide her face from you. This nearly had you groaning out loud in disappointment. Was she blushing? Do her freckles look even brighter when her skin gets all pink and hot?

Nah, it was dangerous to think like this. Band members were always off limits. It was a recipe for disaster. The last thing you needed was another Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham situation on your hands. Your PR team wouldn’t be able to recover. They’d just barely gotten over the “Leon” incident by the skin of their teeth.

Your old band member having to be tackled by three cops in a hotel lobby was horrible. It made you look sloppy. And sleeping with the brand new edition to the band was definitely sloppy.

“You’re acting crazy.” Ellie told you, shoving the keycard into the lock so that she could clammer into her room.

Pushing the boundaries was sort of your thing. You enjoyed being bad, fuck the consequences. Right about now you wanted to kiss Ellie. What would her reaction be? Was she a good kisser? You wanted to know. No- you needed to know.

“You’re right. I’m talking nonsense, don’t listen to me,” You called after her into the room. “Sweet dreams.”

And with that you sauntered back to your own room, practically purring in delight over the fact that it had been that easy to get to Ellie like that. You loved pushing the boundaries. . . and now you had a new toy to play with.

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nyctophiliq · 3 months

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FREE PALESTINE, FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA !

i have refrained from making this post, both for the reason of not wanting to be ridiculed as a "know it all" and because i thought people in this day and age, where we have the internet to do almost the impossible would conclude to themselves that helping is now not an impossible thing.

but here we are.

i feel like a lot of you out there, who might not have a following, or has a big following but doesn’t post has completely ignore the important aspects of the internet that they claim to be using.

i sense that none of you above want to acknowledge that there is a world outside of your tumblr, because why would you? the sole purpose of you coming here was to get away from the real life around you, to have something to ground yourself with instead of having to face the dark, gruesome troubles that you are having but all i see is hiding, not dealing. now that that real life is with you on your dashboard, talking about people dying of bombs, slaughter, hunger, and dehydration is taking away the sense of escape that you came here to seek. and by no means i am defending you, silent creatures, i am dragging you by the collar of your shirt through the mud for your inhumane actions.

it shows how some of you cherish life, wanting it to be as perfect as possible- going to therapists to deal with your trauma, going to the store to not starve, enjoying the police and military of a secure country that has fallen into your hand by the right of your birth. you say you are depressed and not well, voice your concerns about how some people neglect to even think about your mental health because the person dismissing your problems could be only a horrible person in turn.

how does it not hurt to see other people in pain, being hurt on purpose and not thing that “i should maybe do something, i wouldn’t wanna be in the place they are, wouldn’t wanna be going through what they are”. to see you holler about your right to a better life, a good mental health is outragious. you believe in your right to have that why can’t you believe that other people deserve it too?

how can you go a day without talking about, or at least acknowledging in your own words that what you have gone through- all that trauma, that abuse, being cut up, and spit at- can’t be as bad or twice as bad for other people? of course we can talk about our problems, we can say that we are struggling but we have to at least have the decency to say that we are not the only ones.

telling yourself that someone else is in bigger trouble than you won’t help you, ignoring your pain for somebody else’s doesn’t make yours go away but it can make you realize that somehow there has to be a way through it- going to a therapist to work on your issues for example. a lot of you don’t understand that the life you have, the life you love and cherish despite how horrible it might have been before others want to have it too? the relief of being able to say “shit happened, but i got through it”, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to have a family, friends, siblings, and people around them, to have their own religion, background, city of birth that brings them closer as a community, to have somewhere to belong.

our world has been so easy, we don’t have to go to war to help, we don’t have to spend money to help- we only need our voice, that simple click, and the reblog to let others out there know that this is not okay and that people are fighting for them, to have them hope for another day, to have them endure for a brighter future.

in this day and age we have become so pleasantly blissed by the “bystander affect”, letting everything slip by because “hells, it’s easier to be like this than actually do something”. it shows how many of you are fighting, how many of you accepted defeat, how many of you still have hope.

and i mean all offense.

FREE PALESTINE, FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA !

#🍃 — moss rambles !

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intersexfairy · 5 months

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making premature gazan babies suffocate on their own bodies is unbelievably cruel. i can't help but think of my own birth - 25 weeks, 1lb 14 oz, with underdeveloped lungs. i am alive solely by the grace of medical treatment, so for anyone without much knowledge on prematurity:

it isn't even nearly as simple as these babies needing oxygen. they need incubators. and feeding tubes. and weight checks. and vitals checks. and hats. and blankets. and their (potentially dead) parents touch/presence (literally can help keep them alive). they need 24/7 supervision. they need to be in the neonate ICU, able to immediately go for surgery or imaging. they need this and more for MONTHS; i spent the first few months of my life in an incubator, on oxygen. i was not even able to be held by my parents.

without this intensive, even long term medical care, these babies WILL die. they just will. iirc, the complications of lung issues in premature babies is the leading cause of our death, and these babies are suffocating, some undoubtedly getting brain damage from low oxygen. there is no good reason that in another 22 years (my age), these babies should not be living life, surrounded by their loved ones. they should be able to live as long, happy, healthy lives as they would get with the best medical care on the planet.

if you believe in any measure that they somehow deserve this or are "collateral damage," you have lost what it means to be human. you are genocidal, without a shadow of a doubt. palestine must be free. from the river to the sea.

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caraphernellie · 2 months

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wip !! here's a moodboard <3

fake happy // e.w.

ellie williams is a freak, and that's just a fact. others deemed that she is not to be trusted from the moment she was born. in a world where everything is real and raw, it's hard to lie. but ellie doesn't quite fit into the category of 'real and raw.'

everybody's moods are displayed above their heads like little emoticons - there's no fake, there's no lies, there's simply emotion. except for ellie. nobody could figure out why ellie's feelings were not displayed. she'd been seen by every doctor, every specialist, every psychiatrist, and psychologist, and none of them knew what could cause this. and so an assumption was made that she doesn't feel anything.

nobody knows how she feels at any given moment, and in a world where people are spoiled with honesty, nobody wants to believe ellie isn't dishonest. nobody wants to be played by her.

somehow surviving life up to college without ever even having a friend, ellie's accepted that she's in for a lonely life. the only person she has is joel, and well, even he can be misunderstanding at times.

and ellie's sure her professor must hate her, because he partnered her for a project with the one girl who is always happy, without fail. the girl whose mood above her head is always, always, always a yellow smiley face. ellie would even say she's jealous, that she hates you, but she can't help but feel herself smiling whenever you're around. you're like a ray of sunshine. if sunshine knew how to lie.

ok ok ok so. i feel a little bit crazy and like nobody is going to like this fic but i kind of want to write it. this is just me posting to see if anyone actually would read it 😭 not like that would motivate/demotivate me but idk. im curious paramore inspired fics first of all, the best ones. secondly, i feel like maybe years ago i read a fic with a similar premise which inspired this but it's also mainly inspired by the music video for fake happy by paramore. and also, i always write fics about reader having the 'i can fix her' mentality for ellie so this time it's ellie saying 'i can fix her' about reader. this one would be for my fellow sad/anxious girlies who love big hurt/comfort vibes. it would be an angsty ride but not without lots of comfort :D two people who are very sad falling in love and helping each other with their issues? i think yes. this fic would be very? angst and hurt/comfort and some fluff idk if there'd be smut ... anyway this was more a way for me to brainstorm for the idea (by making the moodboard and blurb) i have yet to do literally any plotting or writing for it..

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 i stand with palestine, and for that reason, i require everyone on my blog to keep themselves educated and participating in the fight for palestine's freedom. here are some links to educate yourself- 1, 2, 3. the last of us part 2 in particular is a game with zionist background. do not support neil druckmann by buying any of the games and please continue to engage in your media with critical analysis!! stay educated. !!! i urge you to participate in the global strike for palestine from february 18th - 25th !!!

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ rambling #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 x reader #ellie williams x fem reader #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fanfic #fem reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x yn #wip #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x yn #petal's ideas #moodboards by petal

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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This video is for everyone who supports Palestine. If you don't support Palestine, you can scroll.

What's Palestine? I am dead ass requesting you to tell me what's Palestine. Do you know who you're chanting for, and what you're chanting?

When you say "free Palestine" you are not talking about Gaza. Do you know that? Gaza is not Palestine.

"From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free." It is calling to end the existence of Israel. From the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea, which includes the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, and the entire state of Israel. The only Jewish state in the entire world.

7 million Jews and 2 million Arabs live here in peace. With your "free Palestine" idea, where do you want us to go? Where do you want us all to go? What do you think is gonna happen the day Israel stops existing? Do you not think that if Hamas takes over, if the damage they are already doing, having full control, full complete control over the tiny area that is Gaza, what do you think is gonna happen the day they have full complete control over the state of Israel?

What do you think is gonna happen to you? Chanting "free Palestine" in the streets right now. If you want freedom for the people of Gaza who, by the way, you guys are categorizing together as Palestinians, you have no idea who lives there. If you want freedom for these people, you stand with Israel to end whoever is actually occupying them.

Israel has never attacked Gaza unprovoked. Israel has never, ever, ever targeted the Gazan civilians during any war or any attack that we have inflicted upon Hamas and their terror targets, the places they hide their rockets and guns and ammunition, which are civilian homes, hospitals, schools.

The people of Gaza can't speak themselves against Hamas cause they know they'll be killed. You, from the comfort of your home in your Western country think that you can speak for the people of Gaza about who is inflicting terror on them.

500,000 Gazans cross to Israel every single day to work. Let me make something very, very clear. Since Israel left Gaza in 2005, Israel does not owe shit to Gaza. "The electricity, the water..." Why isn't Hamas providing those things to Gaza? Where is all the billions of dollars they are being sent constantly? We don't have to let Gazans come and work here. We don't have to give them food, electricity and water. We don't have to warn them to go out of their houses when we attack Hamas targets. We don't have to do anything. And somehow we are held to the standard that we do?

Hamas kills their political opponents. They have not held elections since they've been elected in 2006. Even after they have GoPro'ed a massacre of 1,300 people, not people killed by rockets - massacre by hand - you still don't know who they are. You still don't realize they do the same thing to the people of Gaza. You still support these people.

If you want Gaza to be free, you support Israel annihilating Hamas and freeing them of the people of Gaza. Once Gaza is free of Hamas, there will be peace.

Don't you think that if Israel was truly controlling Gaza and occupying Gaza, this wouldn't have happened. We would know what was going on there.

Wake up already. These terrorists are using your values against you. They are hiding in their terror tunnels right now alongside 199 hostages. These are not freedom fighters, these are bloodthirsty monsters.

Stop chanting these empty, empty slogans and wake up to see what is right in front of you.

"The siege, they have a fence around Gaza..." Have you seen what happens when they make one hole in the fence? Have you seen what happens in less than five hours to 1,300 people when they break through this fence?

This will never fail to amaze me. "Gaza's under siege! The fence around Gaza!" Do you mean the border? Somewhere that is not our territory? Same border that 500,000 Palestinians cross to make money here in Israel? The same border they can easily cross if they don't affiliate with Hamas or carry any weapon? The same border they have with their Egyptian brothers who do not allow them anywhere near their country?

And if after everything I said, you still support Hamas, there is no other way to say it: your values align with Hamas. And I'm being very, very gentle.

If you truly want peace, you stand with Israel.

Hamas is Gaza's Taliban. Hamas is Gaza's ISIS. Hamas is Gaza's Boko Haram. Hamas is Gaza's Iranian Regime.

Oct 7 was Israel's Mahsa Amini moment. Israel is doing this not just for the Israelis, but for the Gazans, who live in a terrorist regime.

If you rooted for the collapse of the Iranian Regime with #WomanLifeFreedom, then you root for the extermination of Hamas. Because they are the same exact problem.

How have people gotten so confused after only one year?

#Hillel Fuld #Israel #Gaza #Gaza Strip #Hamas #islamic terrorism #down with hamas #exterminate hamas #Palestine #free palestine #free palestine from hamas #free gaza #free gaza from hamas #stand with israel #hamas is isis #hamas is the taliban #hamas is a terrorist organization #religion is a mental illness

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carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 1 month

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You know, I like you and I've followed you for ages but when I see you posting about how you want ethnic cleansing it kinda grosses me the fuck out

no, actually. i don't know. because i don't know you. you are a complete stranger to me. and i don't care how much you liked me or how disappointed you are. your disapproval means less than nothing to me. what gets your approval is horrific.

you already know that 'from the river to the sea' means 'palestine will be free' you know that it's a call to end the ethnic cleansing of palestinians. you are so drunk on internet juice and brainwashed by the disneyfication of colonialism you think that the ongoing annihilation of innocent people for nearly a century is somehow justifiable and that a slogan representing earnest hope of freedom is an attack on you. you think hoping for people's freedom and safety is threatening to you. you believe that hope is a threat.

you already know all of these things, and you are approaching in bad faith because it's all you know how to do. you want me to post frieren not arguing with a zionist kill yourself image because it will reinforce your victim complex. you want me, someone with absolutely no skin in the game so to speak, to overreact because it's painful subject matter and you'll be able to point to it and say whatever it is you feel like saying that will justify in your heart or to your friends that millions of people should be killed so that some other people can steal their homes, kill their children, desecrate their graves, and piss on their existences.

you want me to tell you to kill yourself so that you can feel better about supporting a genocide. you want me to be toothlessly mean to you online so that you feel better about supporting a genocide.

not that a strangers blog is some important place that you need to seek refuge in, but you will never be welcome here. i will not make you comfortable about your position and i will not allow you to feel peaceful here. you don't get to enter my house and put your feet on my couch and watch my children play and hear me laugh over meals with my loved ones as we share art and tell jokes and talk about our day.

you want me to tell you to kill yourself because you're miserable and cruel and you want to believe you are justified, but you aren't. you never will be. im not going to tell you to kill yourself. i'm telling you, despite your proclivity to the contrary, to get the hell out of my house.

Some Links for Palestine:

One Click to Help

Operation Olive Branch - Google Sheet

UNRWA

eSims for Gaza

#op #anon #to be completely fair #i have in fact posted frieren kill yourself image multiple times in response to these #but yeah its reactionary of me. of me especially. ive realized it's not my place.#anyway if you actually believed what you said you'd say it with your whole chest off anon #too bad about your hopeless cowardice #from the river to the sea #palestine will be free #and dont message me a third time.#get out of my house means get out of my fucking house.

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trykefag · 1 month

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Hi.... :] before we get into this I wanna say one (1) thing: I'm pro-Palestine AND (shocker) pro-Israel. I'm hitting a hornets nest tagging this with pro-Palestine when how I view being for Palestine is so drastic to others' views.

Any sort of harassment or antisemitism will be reported and you will be blocked. We don't hate Jews or Israelis here. Also, if you tag this post with "to the river to the sea Palestine will be free" you're ignorant and dunno what the fuck you're saying.

This post is lengthy (imo) and just my personal spew on stuff, it's nothing like...revolutionary lol. I just need to get shit out somehow.

I don't get the anti-Israel crowed like....they know nothing and its so baffling they'll just say shit they don't understand the concept or history of. You can be pro-Israel and hate the Israeli government, you can be pro-Palestine while also realizing that the history is very convoluted and if you did a simple YouTube search about history on Palestine and Israel you'd be more educated. You can be both pro-Israel and pro-Palestine...shocker I know!

I've learned more from YouTube than in history class. I've also learned that antisemitism is very easy to fall into, which is something I knew but didn't understand. Pro-Palestinians I don't doubt actually care, I'd love to think most Pro-Palestinians actually give a fuck about the murders that're happening! The downside is that they're falling and repeating shit the fucking Nazis would say in the name of activism and see NO ISSUE. (Saying "gas the Jews" and holding up Nazi flags is, even in the name of activism, antisemetic.)

I try and not be cynical, but like there's literal dog whistles and antisemetic shit being spoken about and there's signs being put up that says "No Jews" and there's even fucking Tumblr blogs with "Jews DNI" on them. (I've seen them, they're very much real. Most of them have "Zionists DNI" which is usually just a dog whistle to Jews, but I digress.)

Don't get me started on fucking Zionism actually, no one knows what the fuck that is and they claim they do when they don't. It's so brain numbing!

"Go back to where you came from!" that'd be Israel....which you wanna get rid of. That's also what Zionism is btw. Jews are from Israel...please Google things before you open your yapper.

I can only find solace in the Jumblr tag (& similar ones) because they have knowledge about what the fuck is going on and I won't get called a "Zionist Nazi"!

In the face of chaos I will say that studying and my plans to convert one day is the best decision I've ever made; you can't get rid of Jews, no matter how much you want us gone. Reading the Torah, researching about Israel, learning the culture, the food, the language, etc. It's healing and I'm glad to be coming home slowly but surely. Am yisrael chai.

#tryke stfu #jewish convert #jews by choice #jumblr #i/p #pro israel #pro palestine #am yisrael chai #jewblr #long post #antisemitism #antisemitic

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to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky · 2 months

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Hey followed you for some time ago. I want to know your opinion about phrase 'from the river to the sea, palestine will be free'. Do you think that phrase is antisemetic? I read from Palestinian side that it just phrase for liberation. But some Jewish people ssaid that was antisemitic. Thoughts? Thank you.

it’s 1000% not antisemitic and anyone trying to tell you it is is a Zionist (or has been brainwashed by Zionist propaganda, which at this point is honestly pretty much the same thing). Claiming that Palestinian calls for freedom from oppression is somehow antisemitic completely dilutes the meaning of antisemitism, which then opens the door for actual real antisemitism. Don’t listen to Zionist propaganda. Literally nothing in the world is more antisemitic than Zionism.

if the “safety and security” of a society relies on the oppression and deprivation of rights from a whole group of people, then that society is not actually ever going to be safe. Because oppression and the denial of rights will ALWAYS lead to violence on all sides.

Israel is a terrorist state. Full stop. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #jews for palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #free palestine 🇵🇸#🇵🇸#Israel #israel is a terrorist state #Ask

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armed-with-a-waffle-iron · 5 months

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You do realize that river to the sea is about ethnic cleansing right? Maybe not a good thing to be standing by. Can't rightfully claim a genocide if the people purporting are trying to stop the people who have explicitly said they want every one of them dead world wide

🇵🇸From the River to the Sea! Palestine will be FREE!🇵🇸

Some genocide sympathiser needs a history lesson. I'm mostly a comic blogger.....but I'm also a history student so here it is.

The phrase "From the river to the sea" was born as a Zionist phrase indicating where the supposed "Israeli state" was to be, which we can also see echoed in Israeli political statements welcoming the colonisation of Palestinian land, such as that of the Likud Party in 1977: “between the Sea and the Jordan there will only be Israeli sovereignty”. (Kelley, 2019)

In the middle of the 1960s, the Palestinian Liberation Organisation (PLO) took the phrase back in a call for de-colonisation; the 1964 and 1968 charters of the Palestine National Council (PNC) demanded “the recovery of the usurped homeland in its entirety” and the recovery of rights to the indegenous population, including right to self-determination. This has ZERO to do with antisemitism; the PNC did not want to remove Jews from a Palestinian nation, just the settler-colonists. The 1964 Charter states that "Jews who are of Palestinian origin shall be considered Palestinians if they are willing to live peacefully and loyally in Palestine” and the rhetoric would become more inclusive following the 1967 war, when the PLO merged with Arab National Movement and the Palestine Liberation Front to form the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP); which espoused Third World-oriented nationalism and Marxist-Leninism. The PFLP call for a single, secular, democratic, and possibly socialist Palestinian state in which all peoples enjoy citizenship, embracing ALL Jews as citizens. “If we are fighting a Jewish state of a racial kind, which had driven the Arabs out of their lands, it is not so as to replace it with an Arab state which would in turn drive out the Jews. . . . We are ready to look at anything with all our negotiating partners once our right to live in our homeland is recognized,” said one Fatah leader. “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” was therefore a call for a single, democratic, secular state to replace the genocide committing ethno-religious state of so-called "Israel". (Kelley, 2019)

Kelley, R.D. (2019) ‘From the river to the sea to every mountain top: Solidarity as Worldmaking’, Journal of Palestine Studies, 48(4), pp. 69–91. doi:10.1525/jps.2019.48.4.69.

So, NOT antisemitic. The media, right wing and "Western" states's fear mongering and criminalisation of the phrase is an attempt to stifle anti-imperialist, anti-colonial voices, and somehow justify so-called "Israel"'s slaughter, cleansing and oppression of Palestinians by dehumanising them.

Next off, if you're so concerned about antisemitism, oppression and the safety of Jewish people, I think you're better off organising in person with anti-fascists around you who oppose literal white supremacists and nazis whenever they pull a hateful stunt instead of playing victim online to people showing solidarity for Palestine.

Moreover. So-called "Israel" is committing a genocide. This state is built on the back of mass ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from their homelands and the state never stopped. Zionism is by definition a fascist project that seeks to create an ethnostate on stolen land through the oppression and genocide of its indigenous population; the Palestinian people. It's an imperialist and settler colonial project that is backed by fellow settler colonial states such as the US and former colonial powers such as the UK. There is nothing that can justify settler colonialism, apartheid and ethnic cleansing. NOTHING. Not by the British Empire, not by Apartheid South Africa, not by Nazi Germany, and not by so-called "Israel" and its imperialist allies.

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine 1948 by Ilan Pappe

No Muslim, Jew, Christian or Agnostic on that land is free until they're allowed to live as equals under a single, secular nation, and the Palestinians people are allowed to return to their homeland. No one in the world is free until we are ALL free!

Anon, where do you stand when, as of now, around 19,000 Palestinians have been murdered since Oct 7 by the so-called "Israeli" regime, backed by some of the most powerful nations in the world? When the Palestinian people have suffered 75 years of forced displacement, and state-back massacre, terror and discrimination. What the fuck did children in Gaza do to deserve being born into this hell on Earth? I'd hope you choose to stand on the right side of history but frankly it doesn't matter; in our thousands and in our millions, in our millions and in our billions— all of us who march and chant and organise and act and stand in solidarity with the oppressed— we are ALL Palestinians and we will see a free Palestine in our fucking lifetime.

Free the people, free the land! Justice is our demand!

Free the people, free them all! Occupation has to fall!

Free the people, free the land! No peace on stolen land!

Free the people, free them all! Break the chains and let them fall!

Free, free Palestine! Stop- the genocide! End- apartheid! De-DECOLONISE!

🇵🇸From the Sea to the River! Palestine will live forever!🇵🇸

#back up! back up! we want freedom! freedom! all these zionist colonisers we don't need 'em need 'em!#back up! back up! we want freedom! freedom! all these genocide deniers we don't need 'em need 'em!#from the river to the sea #palestine will be free #free palestine #🇵🇸

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bringmemyrocks · 4 months

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I know that Hanukkah is already over with, but I am still troubled by something I saw being spread around by a couple local orgs toward the end of Hanukkah. They were saying that celebrating Hanukkah was normalizing genocide and had videos of a few individuals celebrating Hanukkah. I am not familiar enough with the individuals and organizations (except JVP) called out in that post to know what ground they were standing on, but a non-jewish org calling Jewish people out for being Jewish was disturbing. Apologies if you've already addressed this, I'm a new follower, but I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this. I don't know if my discomfort is completely unfounded and if I should unpack why I observed hanukkah during an ongoing genocide (and did my best to use Hanukkah to fight for Palestinian liberation), or if this might be baseless or antisemitic, even. thank you.

Note to any new/non-followers that I am strongly anti zionist. Free Palestine from the River to the Sea.

Note: Anon clarified they’re referring to this post, which argues any true Jewish allies to Palestine should not celebrate Chanukah, but should instead sit shiva, mixed with a fun set of George Soros conspiracy theories, these groups are not your friends:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Madison for Palestine (@madison4pali)

instagram

The post references the Open Society Foundation, which is an org with funding from George Soros, a progressive Jewish philanthropist. George Soros conspiracy theories are antisemitic af; please don’t make me explain, this is very basic. https://www.vox.com/23665035/trump-indictment-soros-backed-anti-semitism-george

Come on, y’all…

Madison4Pali and JAWS decided to “call out” anti-zionist Jews for celebrating for 5 seconds during a Chanukah gathering. Somehow I don’t think they’d do this about a pro-Palestine Christian Christmas gathering.

Bonus for calling anti-zionist Jews zionists and posting random people’s full names and faces from a not-public celebration when they could, ironically, be fired for being publicly exposed as anti-zionist. Classy.

Some background–I assume people aren’t vetting these groups, only seeing that they pick fights with other solidarity orgs, and assuming that they must be in the right. First, Madison4Palestine is a super isolationist org that’s opposed to WiscoforPali, a coalition of long-standing pro-Palestine orgs in the area (the coalition is recently formed but the orgs like PSL, JVP, SJP, local Palestinian/Muslim orgs, etc. are all long-standing in the area). Madison4Pali is pissed that the coalition wants a ceasefire and doesn’t adhere to their beliefs 100%, so they’ve spent all their time smearing this coalition which is largely made up of Palestinians. It’s very petty. Madison4Pali, like Reem and her crew, like to call people normalizers and zionists with little to no evidence and do precious little else.

I’m really disappointed that this new “radical” anti-Zionist Jewish org (Jews Against White Supremacy/JAWS, an org primarily made of young students who definitely don’t know the history of #notonormalization) has decided to partner with an org that spouts antisemitic conspiracy theories. This is not going to end well.

Go follow Wisco4Pali, like their stuff, leave nice comments, ignore the other account; don't mention it. Don’t give them any interaction; don’t share their stuff. I don’t think JAWS or any of the “new friends” of Reem et al have any idea what they’re getting into.

My other posts about this phenomenon: bringmemyrocks.tumblr.com/tagged/antinormalization

I want to be clear on something: I do not want to be a Tumblr Thought Leader™. I want people to make up their own minds. So re: Chanukah, unlike Madison4Pali and other #notonormalization influencers I’m not going to give you a clear answer because I want you to wrestle with this issue.

The Israeli/Zionist occupation is currently carrying out a genocide against Palestine. It is a huge escalation of an ongoing ethnic cleansing going back to the Nakba and before.

Chanukah has been celebrated as a Zionist holiday by Zionists for decades. Right now I think that bears mentioning. See the menorah below:

Most institutional Jewish orgs and Jewish communities are celebrating Chanukah as either a Zionist holiday, or at least using it as a way to support Israel. It feels irresponsible to me to ignore this entirely, whether one chooses to celebrate the holiday or not.

However, Chanukah has been celebrated for longer than Zionism has existed. Thus Chanukah cannot be an “inherently Zionist holiday,” especially since the religious rituals themselves have not been altered to accommodate zionism.

A lot of people are saying “Christmas is canceled” when they mean “Christmas celebrations are canceled; I will still be observing it as a religious holiday.” One could absolutely say this about Chanukah. But that’s not what these conspiracy theorists are saying. They’re saying it’s wrong to observe Chanukah in any way.

All that said, I did not celebrate Chanukah personally. I wasn’t feeling up to it with all that was going on. This does not mean I have “internalized antisemitism” it means that I observe my religion being used to justify a genocide. Some more “deassimilated Jews” might argue I’m wrong not to “just focus on Jewish joy” or “you’re the real antisemite for bringing up IsrlllPalestine when Israel is doing a genocide on Palestine.” I disagree.

Anyway, these accounts are antisemites and conspiracy theorists. The more extreme voices are not always the correct ones. Tell your friends that they’re dangerous and troll-y, then move on and focus on real activists.

#madison4palestine #antinormalization #anti normalization #jews against white supremacy #JAWS

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sageisnice · 3 months

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Continuation from my last post.. Rant/Vent warning, I need to get my feelings across somehow, read at your own discretion..

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Its honestly just sickening to me that this platform that I've been trying to grow in for the past like, 2 years supports fucking genocide.. and just for the record! I've been retweeting the genocide of Palestine on my secret twit account to hell and back, so yeah I'm not gonna be silent about this bullshit!! to some degree.. sorry I haven't been doing that here too as much btw, but anyway..

It genitally pisses me off how this is even allowed in the first place, Israel is commiting war crime after war crime bombing hospitals and ambulances! Palestine even had to resort to useing horses again, which so surprise! Israel ALSO ending up shutting down.. LITERAL ANIMALS!! THEY AREN'T EVEN SAFE FROM ALL OF THIS!!!

the amount of pain I've saw over the past few months of footage of the people of Palestine suffering is breaking me too! People losing their family's! The ruins of Gaza. the lack of resources. And on top of all of that Having to witness surgery performed on them WITHOUT ANESTHESIA!! MOSTLY HAPPENING TO KIDS MIND YOU, LITERAL FUCKING CHILDREN!!!!!

And Israel is claiming it's "self defense" EVEN THOUGH THATS FAR FROM IT!! THEY ARE TARGETING THE KIDS, WHO DOSE THAT!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF MALAISE I HAVE FOR ISRAEL NOW OVER MOUNTS MY HATRED FOR PIKACHU, which reminder I HATE A LOT!!!!!!!!!

And everywhere I go I can't escape inadvertently supporting the genocide.. literally everything I know supports it to some degree.. like i cant even have fun with some legos without being reminded that they support this too! I'm not gonna bother to namedrop anything else, mainly cuz I'm getting tired from typing all of this shit but you get the point..

To end things off just know that I'm doing everything in my power to not support Israel, and know that I fully side with Palestine and all of the other countries that Israel has spat on.. and just to make things clear I'm not deleting my Tumblr account.. I can only support it if I buy something from here (I think, idk how site stuff works) so yeah..

Sorry you had to read all of that but I just needed to get all of that out.. Fuck Israel!!

From the river to the sea, Palestine WILL be free!!!!!!!!!!!

#sage/unhinged thoughts #ceasefirenow #palestine #save palestine #fuck israel

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kilibaggins · 3 months

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Hello! I would like to request bilbo/kili where kili gets a little protective/possesive of bilbo during the journey from the other dwarves. maybe with a little bit of bilbo having to calm kili down from trying not to fight the other dwarves when kili thinks one of them hurt bilbo accidentally somehow(dwarves forgetting their strength over bilbo). hope this finds you well and i cant wait to see what you write if you choose to do this :)

Important To Me | Kili X Bilbo

kili x bilbo baggins

A/N: I hope you like this! i love kili x bilbo so i was really happy to get this request going and im sorry it took a little bit! let me know if you want any more fics i will happily write them !! my requests are open <3 also i just realized i never went through and edited kili's name so for this one there's no accent mark over the i !! sorry about that <3

Warnings: confrontation, accidental harm, yelling, but i promise it's fluffy and there's no actual yelling between kili and bilbo.

Words: 1493

Might Post on Wattpad in the future !

Bilbo has noticed a few… Peculier changes in Kili. More irritable with the other dwarves, and more likely to jump into danger, it's like Kili has started getting… Protective.

It started with the trolls, which everyone might see as just a regular bit of protectiveness. Bilbo saw it as that, at first. It was just Kili stepping in to save him, there was nothing off about it.

No, the changes really started happening that night, When Kili gently took his arm and started touching it to check for bruises. Oin had offered to step in and do it but Kili snapped that he could do it just fine.

That was weird enough, yes, but then it got stranger. He started yelling at the other dwarves for every little thing around Bilbo.

Bilbo isn't easily breakable. He's had his fair share of roughhousing when he was younger, he's been hurt more times than he can count, and especially more than your average Hobbit, but even so being around these 13 dwarves can do a number on him.

They don't know their own strength. They push and punch and hug too tightly, and overall it's a painful experience for poor Bilbo who can't seem to catch a break from it all now that he's an official member of the company and has been accepted.

Kili will see this and react… Angrily? Bilbo doesn't understand it and he can't bring himself to ask because what if Kili stops caring? He likes the idea of someone caring for him, and that's why the dwarves including him in things makes him happy.

It's a regular day, they've made camp in some forest that Bilbo can't tell the difference from the last one they were in, and they're sitting by the fire.

Dwalin, in the heat of the moment and while laughing, slams his hand down on Bilbo's shoulder, and Bilbo winces. It's not even that bad, not really, but Bilbo still winces. Dwalin is quick to notice and move his hand and gruffs out a small apology, but apparently to Kili that isn't enough.

Kili quickly gets up and starts to yell, which leads Dwalin to yell, which leads to the other dwarves yelling, and Bilbo quickly gets up and stands between Dwalin and Kili.

"Kili, Kili! Hey, hey, I'm fine!" Bilbo says, putting his hand on the dwarf's chest. Kili is glaring over at Dwalin, Dwalin! Dwalin of all people! For accidentally hurting the Hobbit. It's not as if it's his fault, Dwalin just doesn't know his own strength when it comes to the burglar. Bilbo puts his hand on Kili's chest and pushes him away gently. The look on Kili's face morphing from anger at Dwalin to a little bit of hurt as he moves away from Bilbo and storms off is enough to make Bilbo feel bad for some reason. He huffs and mutters out an apology to Dwalin.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into him." Bilbo rambles, talking with his hands. Dwalin though, isn't angry when Bilbo looks up. He just has a small knowing smirk on his face.

"You really don't see it?" Dwalin says, tilting his head slightly. Bilbo throws his arms out in confusion and Dwalin nods to where Kili ran off. "Talk to him."

Bilbo huffs a bit, fixing his jacket. He turns from Dwalin and walks off in the direction Kili went.

Admittedly, he should have thought this through a bit more. He's not good with tracking or finding his way in forests, so as soon as he makes it a bit too far out to hear the other dwarves being rambunxious he realizes he won't find his way back without the beautiful dwarf he's looking for. Bilbo grumbles to himself as he continues to walk and he makes his way to a small stream. It's beautiful, of course. Colorful rocks underneath the water, probably there for years slowly being eaten away at by the flowing water. Bilbo finds Kili sitting at the edge of it, his knees bent up and his arms crossed on top.

It's a sight, for sure. Kili with his hair lying on his shoulders sitting in front of a stream. It's a picture Bilbo would be happy to draw one day.

Bilbo makes his way closer, obviously tripping over stones because he can't be safe for the life of him. Kili doesn't look over when he approaches for a second and Bilbo worries if he speaks up he'll scare the dwarf, but then Kili starts to speak.

"Are you alright?"

Bilbo sighs softly and sits next to him. His shoulder is a bit sore from Dwalin earlier, but other than that he's fine.

"Yes," Bilbo says insistently. "I'm fine. I have been."

Kili stays silent for a while, just staring at the stream. He looks like a kicked puppy.

"I do not understand," Bilbo admits, huffing to himself as he turns from Kili and looks to the water. "I don't understand why you're upset."

"… I just want you to be okay," Kili says softly, looking over at him. Bilbo shakes his head and fiddles with the handkerchief that Kili found him.

"I am," Bilbo says again. Kili looks slightly frustrated again. "You don't have to worry about me so much."

"Yes, I do." Kili snaps, and then instantly deflates. He groans and covers his face. "I'm sorry."

Bilbo watches him for a moment and thinks about Dwalin's questioning earlier.

"Why? Why have you been acting like this? Dwalin is not the only one you've threatened in the past few days. Oin wanted to check a cut of mine and you practically pushed him away. You even snapped at Thorin. The King. Your uncle. What is going on?"

"I- I want you to be okay," Kili says again, and when he sees Bilbo go to argue he speaks again, "I NEED you to be okay."

Bilbo stops for a moment and looks down at the ground. Kili turns to him this time, gesturing with his hands for a second before talking.

"You are… So important. You don't-" Kili laughs, "You don't see it. You don't see how important you are or how much I care and It drives me wild! The trolls capture you, hurt you, and all you do after is apologize to us! Apologize to us? We're the ones who got you in that mess, to begin with! You get hurt by Dwalin and your first instinct is to let it go and you don't care about yourself! What happens when someone threatens to kill you and you just sit back and let it happen and then you die and you leave me-"

Bilbo looks at him in shock, floored by the rant but especially the last part. He goes to speak but Kili interrupts him again.

"You are… You're…" Kili doesn't know how to proceed and deflates. "You're you. That's why I'm worried because you're you and we- I need you. I-I love you."

Bilbo doesn't know what to say. He must look ridiculous with his mouth gaping and a confused look on his face, his eyes teary. He can't force a sentence out as he lets out a harsh breath. He instead reaches forward and takes the dwarf's hand. Kili holds Bilbo's hand and for a moment the only sounds in the forest are the wind blowing through the trees, and the water flowing next to them.

"You can't…" Bilbo says, confused. Kili… The nephew of the rightful king under the mountain. He's royalty. He's a part of something much greater than himself, there is no way that Kili loves him.

"I do," Kili says quietly. he turns from Bilbo and shakes his head. "I understand if you do not feel the same, but all I ask is that you understand why I am protective of you. I love you, and to me, you're more important than any piece of gold in that mountain."

"I love you too, Kili… But you can't fight your own kin for me." Bilbo says gently. Kili sighs and nods and affirmative. Bilbo smiles and leans forward. "Now, I'm not sure what Dwarves do when they admit their feelings but Hobbits have a fun way of doing so."

Kili's bashful look turns to a smirk.

"What did you have in mind, burglar?" Kili teases, leaning closer.

"Oh, shut it you fool." Bilbo laughs, rolling his eyes. He leans forward and kisses him quickly before pulling back. He abruptly stands and gestures around them. "Now, I have no clue where we are. Guide me, adventurer."

Kili beams up at him and he gets up, and they make their way through the forest.

They have a lot to work out, a lot of people to talk to, a King (and most importantly uncle to confess to), but for now they have each other. and oh, that's the best adventure Bilbo could have asked for.

#the hobbit #the hobbit fanfic #bilbo baggins #kili durin #kili x bilbo #bilbo x kili #kilbo #request #requested #my fanfic #letmelickyoureyeballs

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