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#if this doesn’t work I stg
snoewblood · 2 months
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romance headcanons.
NAME: danil dragomir yakovenko.
NICKNAME: "dismas" for his codename, "dee" by his favorite people only.
GENDER: male.
ORIENTATION: heterosexual + heteromantic.
PREFERRED PET NAMES: he likes to give out special pet names, not really receive them. he's not opposed to receiving them, though. as long as it's not cringey, he's okay with it.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: divorced - single. danil keeps a good amount of distance between himself and keeping up with a relationship.
FAVORITE CANON SHIP( S ): danil and sam. they're strictly non-romantic, they just bicker and argue like siblings. they will go months without seeing or hearing each other but they have each other's backs. they've known each other since they were kids during their training days.
another favorite is with adrian creed. adrian is more so on the technical/administrative/medical side of their world. their relationship is pretty unrequited since he's usually the one that's always in danger. them working in similar circles causes a lot of restraint. danil is absolutely fond of her brains and beauty, he will purposefully find excuses to see her during off-duty hours if he's able to have time. it's a very cute little ship in my brain.
FAVORITE NON-CANON SHIP( S ): danil with anya pestov. she's super strong and can snap him in two, he would thank her if he was given the chance.
OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: danil doesn't know too much about true love. he understands what the feeling is, how it functions and what people will do for it. as for being in love for himself, he's not sure and he can't share his opinion on the matter.
OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: danil doesn't believe in it at all. it's a fairytale to him.
HOW ‘ROMANTIC’ ARE THEY: he is passionate and giving. he loves to shower his partner with affection and admiration. danil takes notes of what his partner would like or dislike. part of his love language is attention to detail, he does not like to make his partner feel uncomfortable at any point. also forehead/hand kisses are a BIG thing with him.
IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: he's drawn to facial features, mostly eyes and lips. as part of his training, analyzing a person's expressions becomes second nature to him so he easily picks up certain traits that stick out to him. he's learned to really appreciate how eyes and lips connect and he finds it very attractive. he also loves a woman with some curve to her figure, he likes to hold onto his partner or cuddle with them tightly.
IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: someone with charm, funny. he loves to laugh and step out of his role as an agent and be a human being for once. if his partner can do that, it's chef's kiss. he loves an independent woman, someone who's secure and also willing to be vulnerable while he provides a safe space for her.
UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: he's not a fan of plastic surgery. especially if it's overly done and obvious, danil doesn't find it attractive at all.
UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: attention seekers. entitled people. disrespectful people. anyone who doesn't have human decency. manipulative traits also fall here. (even though danil is someone who manipulates for a living, he refuses to do so with his partner.)
DO THEY HAVE A TYPE: he doesn't have an extremely specific type.
AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: this varies with him. danil does have one night stands and that is set in motion from the jump. in terms of romance, it would have to be circumstantial.
PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: sharing music, movies, quality time. experiencing different activities together. he loves to do acts of service for others. sharing a quiet space together and happily co-existing.
COMMITMENT LEVEL: if danil believes it's worth the trouble and risking his life for, he will commit to it as best as he can.
OPINION OF PUBLIC AFFECTION: he likes to keep it private but he doesn't mind a small kiss here and there or holding hands with his love.
PAST RELATIONSHIPS: his ex-wife. that relationship was full of lies on his end. he never told her that he was an agent and it seemed like he was always out cheating when he was nearly getting himself killed almost every month. eventually she filed for divorce and found out after that danil was a spy. he regrets not being able to tell her the truth but he certainly wouldn't want to be with her again for the sake of keeping her safe. his ex-wife is not involved in espionage but she is within the governmental circle.
tagged by: @oftoska
tagging: everyone.
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adriancatrin · 8 months
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lil trans pokémon turtleduck (360 vid under cut)
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little-darkurge · 8 months
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The worst thing about trying to figure out if your mods work on bg3 is having to repeatedly go thru the opening cutscenes over and over, like pls all I wanna know is if the eyes and clothing mods are working
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willowser · 9 months
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Hello again
I hope you have been doing well! Vigilante Bakugou has been on my mind the past couple of weeks🤭 and it’s just amazing. You’re amazing. Everything is amazing. It’s just such a unique idea and I really enjoy your take on it thank you for sharing it with us💗
HELLO FRIEND !!! i'm so glad you enjoyed it !! you're so sweet how dare you 🥺🥺🥺 YOU'RE AMAZING !!!! i got your other message as well, and i promise to answer it with more !! 🫡🫡 i just watched the new batman again yesterday and it definitely gave me the ~vibes~ 😌 so i will work on it !!!! thank YOU for giving me such kind words 🥺🥺🥺🩷✨️
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poohwhin · 9 months
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hoyo why on gods green earth would you make this wackjob of a quest undoable with lisa 😭
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consideratesea · 10 months
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Sisyphus has been reassigned to clicking the minuscule unsubscribe button at the bottom of emails
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crepusculum-rattus · 1 year
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me: i should fix my sleep schedule
also me: oh hey look at that, it’s 6am already
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I really wish we could go back to the days of actually acknowledging that ghosting is a shitty thing to do, and yeah sometimes maybe it happens, but you feel bad for doing it because you know it’s shitty, instead of this place we’re at now where gays are pretending they’re morally justified because “you don’t own anybody anything”. Like you don’t have to write 500-word essays on why you don’t wanna see someone anymore but a simple fucking “Not interested, sorry” text would do a whole lot better than keeping them waiting for inevitable disappointment.
This isn’t even about me, this is because I saw some shitheel on Twitter unironically post a handwritten letter he received (context is they live in the same building) after going on a date with a guy, expressing clear enjoyment in said-date, and even going as far as to schedule the next date, before ceasing all communications with the guy shortly after. The dude just wanted to know what was up, but instead of handling it like an adult, the dude instead decided to post the letter online being like “omg this dude is psychotic, please call 911 lol”, and then posted some of their private text messages shortly after.
Thankfully, it seemed like most of the responses were of people calling him on his shit instead of taking his side, but quite a few people were taking his side citing: “no response is a response” which while that’s completely devoid of empathy, immature, and just an overall shitty perspective to have, I can at least recognize that sure, unfortunately no response is in fact a response, but the issue here is that the dude actually gave a response AND SAID HE WANTED TO GO ON ANOTHER DATE! So that entire point is fucking irrelevant.
These are the people we’re talking about when we say the gay community is toxic as fuck. Everyone is so mindbogglingly selfish and self-serving. It’s all “me me me” about every god damned thing. I see these people post nonstop about how dating sucks or how everything is always just about sex, but they’re the reason that’s the case! It’s because assholes like them go through men left and right with zero empathy or acknowledgement that the man is actually a fucking human being with a life and feelings. They’re the center of the universe, it’s always about them.
Anyways, TL;DR: Quit being a child and learn to communicate your lack of interest in someone or die alone.
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prettyboywhump · 2 years
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fucking insane how my english teacher expects us to write a full length mla style essay with multiple cited sources for our exam, despite the fact that this year we’ve only done two essays at the beginning of the year with only one source and that’s literally all the writing we’ve done. even more insane how she’s confused as to how we don’t understand what to do
#like she’s a nice person but#not a good teacher#she waits until the very last second to put in grades#like last quarter she wasn’t able to finish grading everything on time bc she waited so long and gave us so many assignments#which is also hypocritical because get this !! she doesn’t accept late work !!!#what the actual fuck#this essay is supposed to help prepare us for ap english classes next year#which guess what! i’m not taking an ap english class!! so this is pointless to me!!#literally everyone is confused about the prompt#it literally says ‘come up with a common theme between the three sources and use evidence to defend your thesis’#but then in class she says we have to have an opinion to defend?? despite the prompt she gave us never mentioning defending an opinion????#i stg#again she’s a really nice lady but. i fucking hate her teaching style.#it’s not helpful since we spend so much class time on things like writing journals and talking about our lives and shit.#which i’d be fine with if our classes weren’t 45 minutes each.#also the writing journal prompts are so hard to answer. i straight up don’t do them anymore bc i don’t know what to put.#also also whenever she gives us time to work quietly on whatever she tells us to#she ALWAYS starts talking about unrelated things like what the plan is for the week or something that happened in her personal life#which distracts me from my task and i end up not finishing it#i’m sorry i didn’t mean to go off#i’m just glad that tomorrow is our last day of class and then exams are next week and then i’m DONE for the summer#only now i have less free time since my mom made me get a job that causes me physical pain :)))))#which means having to take more time sitting and doing nothing while the pain goes away :)))))) only to do it all over again :)))))))))))#on top of swim practice i don’t think i’ll survive#but tbh i’d pick swim over work any day#at least that’s actually beneficial to me#kay speaks
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angeldustanalog · 1 month
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i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but my life experience has prepared me perfectly for a career with perverted justice or tetrad core or whatever the current version is i have trained my whole life for this pls chris hansen i prommy i wont leave a laptop full of time sensitive evidence of CSA in some sketchy dudes apartment for a year rendering it unusable i prooomy awawa
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katranga · 3 months
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getting tegan and sara stuck in my head at work “out of my mind, out of my mind” because nothing here makes ANY FUCKING SENSE
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kafka3sque · 8 months
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why did i just nap for two hrs immediately after drinking an iced shaken espresso
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begginmonty · 6 months
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working with mike
(this doesn't follow the plot directly and mike works like more than just 3 shifts, also this is legit 2k words long i got so so so carried away im just so in love with mike, apologies!! its also not been proofread sorry <3)
before mike is hired alongside you, steve raglan had given you the job a week or so ago after you had lost your last job over a silly customer dispute (the customer is never right) and steve was your last hope at job, and bingo he had one. here you are 2 weeks later, waiting by your car outside the rundown pizzeria, waiting to train the new guy whose supposed to help you
a car pulls up and out comes a very pretty, but very tired/drained, looking guy, you introduce yourself with a small smile and he doesn’t return it, and is like “im mike”, you give him the benefit of the doubt that he hasn't smiled at you, new jobs are stressful.
the first shift goes fine, you tell him the basics and show him the training video tape, which alongside your commentary of making fun of some of it and nit-picking little things finally gets an amused smile from him. you can see him ease up a little. he doesn’t talk as much as you do but he seems to enjoy your ramblings. 
you show him the showtime performance after he looks confused about ‘animatronics’ . watching his reaction of the animatronics rendition of talking in your sleep by the romantics is a little amusing to you but you were the same way when vanessa had shown you originally.
“its something isn’t it?” he doesn't reply, he just stood looking in disbelief. 
when morning rolls around, you show him how to lock up and then give him his own key that steve had given you. 
“wasn’t so bad was it?” 
“it was..different” 
the second shift alongside mike is different but a good different. he’s running a little late and walks in on your blasting an 80s hot pop hits tape over the old speakers, vacuuming the main dining area. a smile, that melts his heart a little, lights up your face as you see him walk in.
“im sorry i’m late the babysi-”
“hey, dont stress it. you still made it!” 
he is not used to someone being so nice and friendly to him??  its foreign but he finally cracks you a small smile, watching you as you turn on the vacuum and continue listening to the music. (i need to hug him i stg)
he hasn't met anyone as nice as you in a long long time, it’s refreshing for him
and not in a creepy way !!!!!!!!!!! but he watches the cameras and watches as you just listen to the music as if the world isn’t there and continue to clean the area. 
“need a hand?” 
mike speaks up as you take a break leaning against a table, facing the main stage, the curtains open (as your next task is going to clean around the animatronics, it’s getting too dusty), music turned down quietly. he comes and leans against the table with you. you start small talk, saying something about the animatronics and you guys talk a little.
“so, you said something about a babysitter, do you have, like, a kid or something? sorry if im being too nosy, please tell me to shut up or something” mike cannot get over how nice you are
and then mike explains his living situation, and then the two of you get into a discussion about how families can suck and be shitty ect
and mike really likes how you don't pry or ask him lots of questions like others have done in the past, this man is really liking you and he’s only know you for two days
“this guy…must’ve been on something to make this place” and mike laughs a little !!! for the first time you got him to laugh !!
“yeah it’s something isn’t it..” both of you are sat against a table just staring at the animatronics in front of you
the two of you make small talk as you wipe down the dust covered tables but you can see how tired he is, he’s yawning a little bit.
“hey, you know, you can like sleep on the job by the way?” he looks up at you from the table, “sometimes i take a good couple hours nap in the office, no ones breaking into this place anytime soon”
he tries to protest and mentions towards the cleaning products and you brush him off, “go, you need it”
mike feels a strange warmth in his heart the hasn't felt, maybe ever? and he naps for a few hours whilst you continue to clean around. cleaning isn't in your job description but honestly you’re worried about the level of dust entering your lungs y'know
a loud thud and chair scraping noise comes from the office and you run to it and see mike on the floor, he looks confused and you help him to sit up. you ask if he’s okay but he seems out of it, “mike, whats wrong?”
sitting on the floor together, mike explains everything to you and opens up to you about a little brother he had, and tells you about his dream issues and sleep issues and you can see he’s upset and shaken by this dream. He shows you the sleeping pills and he explains the dream theory he’s been reading about.
“this is the part where somebody usually calls me crazy” 
“you aren’t crazy, mike” mike notices how kind you eyes are and how warm your voice is, “i’ve seen crazy. you are far from it” you joke a little and he has the faintest smile tug at his lips. 
finally home time woo !! as you lock up the gate, you watch as mike goes to his car, “mike wait!”
he turns around almost instantly at your voice as you run up to him, you pull something out from your hoodie a fazbear security badge and hand it to him, “you’re officially security now” he takes it from you and thanks you with that small smile. 
3rd shift passes (you could’ve sworn foxy was standing in a different spot and bonnie’s hand placement looked completely different) and vanessa comes for her weekly visit and meets mike. when you aren’t with them, vanessa brings up the fact that you’re one of the kindest and nicest people she’s ever met and mike agrees. 
next shift goes by and another and you guys have a long conversation about everything and you tell him more about yourself. hes never really been romantically involved with anyone but somebodysss got a crush (its him and well, you do too). and then you let him sleep and decide to tackle the old kitchen. (you could’ve sworn you heard someone walk down the hallway but you double check and no ones there)
mike dreams again and you swear you hear a groan and you walk to the office to see him, out of breath, breathing, clutching his arm and theres blood coming from it and he looks up at you trembling. “oh my god mike, what happened?”
you sit opposite him, patch him up and make him a hot drink, and he's explaining everything to you and you can tell he’s really getting bothered by these dreams. (you also think hes hurt himself from falling off the chair somehow..unbeknownst to you)
he’s tearing up a little and you just hold his hand in yours, and he's looking at your kind eyes and he doesn’t know how to react to being touched, he stops talking (mike is incredibly touch starved oh my god) and, carefully, you lean forward and hug him very gently.
he’s stiff at first but you can feel him relax into the hug and he wraps his non-injured arm around you and grips onto your back, “its okay mike. you’re okay” you can tell he really needs this hug and you can tell no one has really hugged him in a long time.
when the shift ends and you say goodbye for the day, your car just refuses to start. you cannot start it at all. you get out the car and look at it in a huff, but lucky for you mike hasnt driven a way yet
he gets out his car and you explain to him about your car, and he offers if you want a lift home or at least back to his house (his house is much closer than yours) and you can call someone about the car and you agree.
the drive is nice, you notice he has a great taste in music
meeting abby!! mike excuses himself for a shower whilst you're ringing the mechanics for your car, and he accidentally falls asleep on his bed after. when he wakes up (a good hour or so later, which you really don't mind) he walks into the living room to see you and abby sat on the floor colouring together with a cartoon on the tv, and you guys are really getting along and she’s wearing your security guard vest and badge. (her friends told her to trust you)
“uh abby, why dont you get ready for school?” mike speaks up, causing you both to look in his direction. 
you can't fight the fact that he looks hot with joggers and shirt on, looking sleepy as hell aHHH
“okay” abby smiles and gives you back your stuff and runs off to her room to get ready for school. 
he walks over to you and sits down on the couch, “im sorry for falling asleep-”
you sit next to him and place your hand on his arm and smile, “its fine, mike, really. your sister is lovely”
mike looks up from your hand and looks at your face. he looks sleepy and gorgeous and you look gorgeous to him and your eyes are so kind and theres a moment. some sort of magnetic force kinda pulls your faces closer together.
“im gonna be late!” says abby running into the room.
mike drops abby to school and you stay in his house, waiting for the mechanic to eventually call you back like he says he will. you feel a little awkward sitting on his couch watching tv but you have nothing better to do.
he comes back he offers you a shower and some of his clothes as he feels bad for you having to sit in work clothes. 
the way his heart feels when he see’s you walk out to the bathroom and back to the couch next to him wearing one of his sweatshirts and a pair of his joggers as well hMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm (too early for love?)
he smells good
you must both drop off to sleep, as a few hours later mike opens his eyes for a minute to the TV showing some drama show, and then he notices a heavy feeling on his chest. there you are, passed out, in his clothes, head on his chest peacefully asleep. 
this is something he’s never felt before !1!!1 
he blushes (thank god you’re asleep) and brushes a hair out of your face, staring down at your sleeping face (uh oh someones in love) before grabbing the worn blanket from behind him and throwing it over your exposed legs.
you stirr a little, your arm wrapping around his lower half and he's so flustered and sleepy and aHHHH
he wraps his arm around your shoulders gently and passes out again (PART 2??)
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acesammy · 1 year
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Just accidentally backdoored myself into getting fixated on something So incredibly stupid godbless
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rapunzelbro · 3 months
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Imagine if Alastor had to tolerate a young, tech-loving (all tech, new and old) demon but accidentally became fond of them. And then one day the demon's tongue slipped and they accidentally called him "Dad".
Imagine Alastor with a young tech loving demon
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Sorry if this isn’t the best but I shall try my best🫡
Masterlist Taglist form
When you showed up at the Hazbin Hotel ready for a chance of redemption you didn’t think you’d meet the one and only Alastor
You almost screamed but of course you had to keep your cool you definitely didn’t
He definitely noticed and mentally noted it
whether that was a good or bad thing again you don’t know. More like embarrassing
You often helped set up anything tech wise that came up in the hotel!
Angel dust coming to see you multiple damn times because his ‘toy’ wasn’t working only for it to be out of batteries
He knew that he just loved fucking with you
Alastor was asked to get you for something while you were in your room with an assortment of old broken radios
Watched in the shadows in the slightest fascination of you fixing them before making himself known
Lowkey thinking his voice was coming form the radio before you realized it was him indeed in the room to begin with and it scared the shit out of you
If Alastor asks what one of the radios are, you will 100% go on a rant about it
He won’t admit it but he is fascinated in the slightest and will occasionally share the radios and tech he used while he was alive and had his own studio
You listened so intensely to everything he said like if you missed one thing it would be over for you.
You two often bonded over tech and he definitely asked what changed since the time he died since you were so young
Months would go by before accidentally calling the Radio Demon of Hell ‘Dad’
You wouldn’t even really think about it all that much when you asked Alastor if the radio system was working in the upper bedrooms after it broke
“Hey dad is the radio working now?”
Absolute fucking silence after that sentence stg dude gets whiplash from how fast he turned his head around
“Pardon me?”
You apologizing profusely while you almost trauma dump his ass about your issues with your previous life and your father who caused your death
Him shutting you down instantly before you could trauma dump
“… I’ll let it slide, if you see me like that.. it doesn’t quite bother me”
Dude just leaves with that?? He is honestly super thrown off but he doesn’t mind it,
Lowkey was happy you did ngl he is a softie towards you
Hope this was good! Thank you for requesting
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natailiatulls07 · 8 months
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The golden trio Pt 2
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Lando Norris x female!reader
Carlos Sainz x female!reader
Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc
Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??
Warning - offensive names hate comments swearing
The golden trio
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Twitter
username Charles and Max haven’t posted anything any where since the other day when we saw Y/n walking out, she must of hurt them hard 😟
username Ikr, I feel so bad for them right now 😞
username And Lando posting a instagram story of her at a party 🙄 We knew she never liked them
f1gossip
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Spotted: Y/n L/n was seen hanging out with Lando Norris and the quadrant group the night after she was seen leaving her shared apartment seemingly annoyed. She’s probably moving onto the Lando and the quadrant now that her lestappen trust fund has ended
Liked username and 2,193 others
username This bitch really is the ultimate gold digger
username I don’t get how some people like her, she’s a walking red flag 🚩
y/nismywife07 Have you ever considered that you don’t know her story or what goes on behind the scenes?! 😑
username Max and Charles will be much better without her stg
username I’m sick of her shit like omg go away hoe
Text (Red: Charles) (Orange: Lando)
Hey mate, I just want to check in on Y/n. She hasn’t really been texting me or Max, we understand why. We just want to make sure she okay
Yeah, she’s alright. I had to force her off social media after she saw that one gossip instagram account
I know, Max showed them to me and we’re both very annoyed how they portrayed her even though they don’t know what happened really
Can I ask a question?
Of course, go on
Why? Why did you say those things to her and make her believe those things they say about her?
Me and Max were upset that she was felt ashamed to be in the paddock, I guess we just switched off and we just said those things
Okay, I won’t say that she’ll be back with you guys soon that’s not my place to say
I understand, just look after her for us
Will do
charles_leclerc
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Me, Max and Y/n have been friends for years now. She was this shy girl whose father was working at karting, that’s how we met her. Y/n has never asked us for money, so I don’t understand how you can comment those things about her.
Y/n is the sweetest girl ever, like that one time me and Danny FaceTimed her and she showed us her new stuffy.
So please, listen to what we say for once and stop hating her, she never deserved it or never will deserve it.
Liked by arthur_leclerc and 69,283 others
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maxverstappen1
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This is the girl who brightens mine and Charles’ day, always have since our younger days. However those fake and disgusting comments have ruined that, they have taken that sunshine from us. So please quit it, you don’t know what goes on and that means you don’t have the right to have an opinion.
She is a girl who doesn’t like dentists, loves rainy days and cries at those animal charity videos. And we love her for that.
Y/n has never ever been a gold digger, never slept with either of us or asked for anything off us.
Liked by danielricciardo and 72,274 others
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Twitter
username Anyone else see Max and Charles’ instagram posts
username Yeah, maybe we were wrong about her
username See this is karma, you guys were hating on this poor girl when she didn’t deserve any of it
~~ Liked by Max33Verstappen and Charles_Leclerc
landonorris posted to his story
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Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius
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