#idk what made me think of this but once i did i needed it OUT of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bronx-bomber87 · 2 days

Text

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

#Caitlin's mini reviews #chenford #6x07 Crushed #s6 #the rookie 6x07 #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #the rookie #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is

84 notes · View notes

funnylittlelad · 1 year

Text

What's your favorite color? - steddie blurb

It comes as a shock, frankly. No, more like an affront. Maybe both. Either way, Steve finds himself wondering for the first time since they started dating if Eddie is lying to him. The whole conversation started over something stupid. Really, the whole conversation is stupid. Steve is the only one of them with a wrinkle between his brow and a twist on his lips. Eddie is looking at him all soft eyes and easy smiles. They're in their tiny kitchen. Steve has his arms crossed as he leans against the wall next to the landline. Eddie is bracing himself on the little table they got to use as an island for some desperately needed extra counter space.

"You're not being serious," Steve decides out loud.

Eddie laughs, only a little in disbelief. Mostly it's amusement at Steve's current childlike behavior. Eddie thinks he's endlessly cute and endearing when he gets like this. Especially because it's never about anything serious so Eddie never have to worry about it devolving into a real fight. It's just another flavor of conversation.

"I'm being serious!" Eddie insists.

"There's no way, Eds. I mean, have you seen your wardrobe?"

"Yeah, I see it on a pretty regular basis, believe it or not."

Steve levels him with an overly serious, analytical stare.

"Are you seriously telling me that you- Eddie Munson, metalhead extraordinaire- your favorite color isn't black?"

Steve's head shakes a bit in what Eddie would consider a bitchy move. That's okay, Eddie likes when Steve gets bitchy too. Hell, Eddie just likes Steve.

"It's not!" He laughs defensively.

"It's all you wear!"

"So, your favorite color is yellow," Eddie states matter-of-factly.

Steve squints, shaking his head a little more. Steve's hands can't stay still for too long while he's talking, no matter how hard he may try. Eddie has insisted he loves how expressive Steve can get. Even if Steve's parents didn't. Especially because they didn't. One hand breaks free of the opposite arm and begins to fly around as he speaks.

"Since when is my favorite color yellow?" he asks.

Eddie rolls his eyes, but his smile never leaves his face.

"It's all you wear!" he throws Steve's words back at him.

Steve pouts. He knows it's true. There has been a lot of yellow spotted in his wardrobe lately. That's just because he thinks he looks good in it... because Eddie told him once he looks good in it.

"Alright, fine, point taken. What is it then?"

Eddie's face softens. His smile becomes something warm and sweet like chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. He walks around the makeshift island to invade Steve's space. Steve isn't phased in the slightest. Eddie places a quick kiss to the tip of Steve's nose. The act earns him a smile that Steve works hard to fight off.

"Funnily enough, my favorite color is yellow," he answers easily.

Steve's face goes from bitch mode to genuine surprise. Then some confusion trickles in via his eyebrows.

"You're not fucking with me right now? Dustin isn't going to jump out with a camera to catch the dumb look on my face?" Steve questions, playfully looking over Eddie's shoulder like he actually expects Dustin to be there.

Eddie breaths a chuckle across Steve's face. For a moment there's nothing but the scent of mint and cigarettes.

"First of all, your face never looks dumb. No, I'm not fucking with you. My favorite color is yellow," Eddie insists.

"But... why? I mean yellow is so- and you're so- why?" Steve struggles to understand a world where Eddie Munson's favorite color is yellow.

A light blush blooms across Eddie's face.

"Because you wear it a lot and you look really fuckin' good when you do. Now whenever I see it, it makes me think of you," he admits softly.

Steve absolutely melts. How can he not? His arms end up around Eddie's neck as he presses a gentle kiss to his lips. Their foreheads rest against each other when they part.

"You're so cheesy, y'know that?" Steve chuckles lightly.

"Yeah, but you love it," Eddie grins.

"Yeah, I do."

After that, Steve realized that his favorite color is black.

Masterlist

#idk what made me think of this but once i did i needed it OUT of me #steddie brainrot #steddie blurb #steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson

1K notes · View notes

moeblob · 1 month

Text

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

24 notes · View notes

starglitterz · 2 years

Text

"xiao?"

your voice is deafening in the quiet, shattering the peaceful silence between the two of you, yet to the last remaining yaksha it is the most pleasant sound in the world.

"yes, dove?"

moonlight filters through the open window, bringing with it a cool breeze that makes you shiver and press closer to him. though to many he is pitiful, burdened by karmic debt and carrying the weight of his past sins, you find his presence to be incredibly comforting, and his warmth now is far from unwelcome.

"are you ever... lonely?"

you hesitate to finish your question, teeth scraping your bottom lip when you bite it as if to prevent the final word from escaping. saying it out loud makes the possibility so much more real, and you're not sure if you really want to know the answer.

"..."

there is no response. xiao feels how you stiffen in his arms, muscles tensing with concern that you may have hurt his feelings or offended him by assuming the conqueror of demons experienced such trivial mortal emotions. truth be told, he is considering his answer, desiring to give you the most honest one he can, for that is what you deserve after opening your heart to someone as stained by the past as him.

"yes. and sometimes it is almost overwhelming."

xiao begins, and the melancholy blossoming in your chest at his reply is simultaneously soothed by his voice. the gentleness of his tone would probably be impossible to comprehend for those who saw him daily, as his softness was reserved for you alone, and he did not particularly care about how rough others perceived him to be.

"but..."

he falls silent once more. xiao prefers not to look at the past, but now he finds himself musing over the other yakshas and mourning their fates. though he used to be ready to welcome death with open arms, grateful for his suffering to be over, things have changed since then.

"it has become easier to bear ever since i learned to love you."

others may take xiao's words at face value and believe that he loves you only out of habit, like you were constantly by his side until he was forced to figure out how to love you. but you know better. xiao learned to love you by learning to let his walls down, that being vulnerable isn't showing weakness, that opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt provides a fountain of opportunities and love to flow.

"i'm glad."

a smile curves your lips, and you twist in xiao's arms to press a kiss to his jawline before tucking your head into the crook of his neck once more. the stars dance across the blanket of the midnight sky outside, twinkling effortlessly, burning themselves up to give beauty to the darkness, and you are here, safe with your lover.

"i love you, xiao."

perhaps in the grand scheme of the universe the two of you are insignificant, but for now that matters not in the slightest, because:

"and i love you too, dove."

#once again do not ask me to explain i genuinely have no clue i just started typing words just when i was abt to sleep 😭#i just think that xiao. and the abstract concept of loneliness that comes with watching the world you essentially helped create grow #and grow is such an important term here bc it is growing out of him; liyue no longer needs xiao to defend it as it once did in the past #especially when you consider how he is the last yaksha; and i just keep thinking about how it must feel to be the only one alive to witness #liyue's current glory when they all gave everything for it to develop into this; sacrificing themselves to sin and gaining karmic debt and #eventually dying (?) but either way leaving xiao alone. like i know that this is what they would have wanted and what they were made to do #but i keep thinking about xiao and survivor's guilt and how it plays out into his character; does he feel it's unfair that he gets to live?#does that make him feel the need to overcompensate by remaining reclusive and fighting almost every minute when there isn't rlly much of a #need to? idk idk hahaha these are just random ramblings idk why i put them in the tags 😭 also i haven't played the archon quest yet so #don't spoil!!!!! ill eat ur souls if u do /hj #ok proper tags i promise:#✏️ — quill writes !#xiao x reader #xiao fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

278 notes · View notes

torao-chan · 6 months

Text

man idk what to tell yall

im just. exhausted atm

#i am working overtime weekly to try and make sure i have the time off i need to a) not have a stress seizure #and b) be able to have the Paid Time Off for the Forced Time Off around the xmas holidays #and i am. so fuckin tired #i dont work a full time schedule cause I Cannot Handle It and its never more apparent then when im forced to work overtime #maybe thats why mikotos videos hitting so hard atm for me idk man #im just #im tired man #did you know #my parent approached me. about 5 years after high school #everyday. after school. she'd ask us 'how are you' and everyday. without fail. the answer would be 'tired'#or if the question was 'how was today' for once. the answer was always 'long.' or 'tiring.'#but ye. about five years after. after we got our asd & adhd diagnosis. and before we got our DID diagnosis #she approached us and apologised. something along the lines of never realising that 'tired' was the best answer we could give #because we were Exhausted #and i always look back at that and go 'what. why. what did you think of us?' 'who did you think we were?'#you never accepted anything less than the answer that made the people around us the most comfortable #of course we were exhausted #Tired was Always the Best Answer we could give Without Lying #what about your child who refused to hang out with friends optionally. who refused out of school commitment options. who refused to do any #thing for their birthday. their celebrations. their anything and everything optional choice was Nothing #what on earth made you think We Weren't Exhausted #fuck man. we had Annual Seizures from Unknown causes (hint; it was Stress and Exhaustion. A N N U A L L Y)#idk #mikotos video has me Tired in a way We Already Were #and working overtime recently hasnt helped #im tired man.#im Tired #personal

5 notes · View notes

headofthedemonn · 4 months

Text

It's very seldom my heart agrees with my mind but I know he's not coming back.

#captain's log #I've never once felt desirable he told me so many times how beautiful i was he asked me why did i hate myself #and who hurt me so much he made me feel seen because he told me everything they did to me wasn't my fault he said stop calling yourself ugly #please don't hurt yourself anymore okay? im here for you I'd never leave you like they did okay? never I'm not like them i promise #i love you. but none of it was true finding out the truth made me hate myself even more how stupid could i have been to think someone #love me i wanted to believe it so bad no one has ever said that to me so of course i wanted to hold on with an iron fist but everything #but i was just a game to him he didn't care about me i honestly think he hated me to my core #i don't think i have a chance at finding love but that's all i want i could easily fall in love with a boy or girl or whatever but someone #lied about loving me and caring about me so am i doomed to chase things i don't really want money? status? success?#sure money is needed to survive the world but why can't i have what my grandparents had or other people have had love and it lasts still #i just wanted to feel it in my heart so much i was willing to do anything but i was so fucking stupid i should have known better #i thought it was real i didn't think he was being dishonest because i was telling the truth the whole time so i expected him to do the same #i don't think i have a chance but if i do idk i don't think i can survive getting hurt again #i just want something real and someone real but that's far too much to ask

4 notes · View notes

oveliagirlhaditright · 8 months

Text

I forgot to mention that I saw the trailer for the new the The Hunger Games movie when I went and saw Blue Beetle (the prequel, you know?) and it does look really good (even though at first I was unsure about it). I'm probably for sure going to see it when it comes out. Though this will be the first time that I haven't read the book first... unless I do end up reading the book between now and then.

#friends how do we feel about the 'the ballad of songbirds and snakes' novel?#because for me personally. and a lot of people i know... i honestly preferred the hunger games movies more than the books (even though you #have to love and appreciate the books. of course. because without them there would be no films)#is it the same with the prequel?#though i also know that many fans prefer the books and hate the movies: thinking the movies left out too much and that kind of thing #but yeah. since i DID prefer the movies. and think there's a good chance it might be the same way again. i'm thinking i might just watch th #movie first or maybe not even read the book at all #even though i'm usually of the mind of always reading the book. of course. and usually first #i think my reasons for preferring the movies are as follows... i really hated katniss in the books. i'm sorry. but i did. but seeing her #brought to life with the way jennifer lawrence played her really made me love her #also. people complain about some things the movies left out. and i definitely get that. to each their own #but i personally love the things the movies ADDED! that we didn't get to see since we're stuck in katniss' pov. that i think just bettered #the stories so much #and some (surely not all) of the things that were left out that people complained about i feel like aren't THAT needed?#like they didn't explain the avoxes #but i also feel like if you're smart you can clearly figure out what the capitol did to them #idk. this is just my opinion of course. anyone is free to disagree #but i say all as this as someone who isn't SUPER into the hunger games #i only read the books once. years ago. and i haven't seen the movies in a while. so i'm sure there are things i may have forgotten and migh #be getting wrong here #oh! another thing too is that i've seen people mention that they felt like suzanne collins' writing style with thg is almost script-like.#even though it's not a script of course #and that that might be another reason that i. and so many others prefer them as movies #because it was almost like she was writing the books TO be made into movies

5 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 1 year

Note

NO WAY YOU'RE A GAIA USER TOO I was so obsessed 😭😭😭

HELP NO YEAH I AM LERKJGA it keeps calling me back....... i think im over it but still.....

#snap chats #like i'd just go months without it thinking i moved on but not it'd eventually interest me again and again and again and #my eldest sister made my account for me when i was too young to responsibly have one LMAOO i think i was like 10 #noooo i had it so bad i'd literally stay up for days just playing zOMG #AND MY COPUTER RAN LIKE UTTER SHIT TOO LIKE I WAS PLAYING A SLIDESHOW MOST NIGHTS #i remember my dad grounded me once because he caught me staying up all night playing so he told me to stay in my room ☠️#that was mostly in the sawmill tbf.. it ran fine during the shallow sea and that devil one #hold on i have to look it up proper i have to put respect on it #DEADMANS SHADOW #what the hell was that update they did to it they added like a whole ass. OTHER dungeon i never got to do cause im p sure you needed money #UGGGGHH IT WAS SOOO FUN AND I LOVED DOING THE RALLIES AND GOING TO HOLLYWOOD #literally the saddest thing ever to watch its downfall esp after flash kicked the bucket #i still go on it just to mess around with the dress-up-doll aspect of it #inflation went stupid so they just casually hand out half a mil every day which can get you like. idk a pair of pants LMAO #wild....... but yeah..... gaia's forever my funny lil baby ig

2 notes · View notes

snekdood · 1 year

Text

people will be so terminally jealous of you that they’d rather you reexperience your trauma but somehow in a worse way than just let you live your regular happy life as it has been

#sorry i had privilege over you- real or imagined- but it is what it is #and taking it out on me instead of oh idk. the polticians who are to blame for your shitty situation. isnt gonna make your life any better.#i kinda have no control over your life and its actually not my personal job to give you shit #especially since you're a skeevy fuck who cant be honest about your wants needs and intentions and just pretend to be certain ways #so people stay around you and you get the beenfit of community rather than be the real skeevy fuck you are #like damn maybe if you were real i coulda helped you and we didnt have to go through all of this bs of you pretending you like me #just to get shit out of me #you saw how i looked. you saw how i express myself. you saw my confidence. and you did this out of some weird rageful jealousy #and then once you found out how bullied i was. suddenly im nothing. suddenly all the things you envied so deeply that you have to pretend #i dont exist and im not the reason you draw the way you do now. suddenly im nothing. in spite of apparently being the thing that made you #want to draw again anyways.#you really really do value might makes right even if you dont think you do. like if me being bullied is enough for you to decide im nothing #and you gotta go faun after my bullies then like idk what to tell you duder but thats might makes right lmao #how can i go from being *the sun* to you. from being all of your favorite ocs. to being absolutely nothing short of you having some deep #shame about me now that you know all the shit ppl put me through in hs?#i mean aside from all the shit you made up about me- lets put a pin in that right now okay- bc this is the real reason #lets be honest here.#and yet i know.#deep down. you still kinda envy me. because imma be myself no matter what any of yall do #and thats something you cant do ever. rip off your mask.

2 notes · View notes

tj-crochets · 2 years

Text

Hey y’all! I was a little flippant in the post about the salt yesterday, and it occurred to me some people might want to know how I actually got diagnosed with POTS (and other salt problems) so I’m putting it below the read more. It’s long, has a lot of medical jargon, and briefly mentions some medical unpleasantness. Also: I am not a medical professional. This is me talking about my experience with taking eight years to get a diagnosis, not medical advice.

For me, POTS started as a teenager when I got mono and strep throat at the same time. I’d already had doctors tell me I needed to up my salt intake and drink more water, but being sick took me from “gets dehydrated easily” to “resting heartrate of 140 bpm and severely dehydrated”. I was basically on my mom’s couch for a month and a half, had to quit my job, and ended up on a heart monitor for a month while they tried to figure out what the heck was happening. They didn’t. Over the course of the next year or two, I gradually got better. Once I was physically capable of it, being in a musical (3+ hours of dance rehearsal 5 or 6 days a week in an old theater with a faulty AC) and starting Krav Maga (a, uh, very intense martial art) helped a lot*. I was still more sensitive to heat and dehydration than most people, but I was more or less functional. I had fairly severe muscle spasms and migraines sometimes, but I could handle it, and after going to several doctors I pretty much gave up on getting a diagnosis for a few years. Then my family moved, and I started going downhill fast. I developed severe seasonal allergies that started as occasional hives and turned into what the allergist called “the worst hives she’d ever seen” and then anaphylaxis like clockwork the end of every June. There was a fire season like any other fire season, but my cough didn’t go away, and I dislocated a rib coughing and got diagnosed with asthma. During all of this, my POTS was getting worse and worse. My blood pressure was rarely above 100/60, and my resting heart rate was never below 100 and rarely below 120, but I couldn’t get any answers. My heartbeat was always perfectly regular, just fast, so the cardiologist called me a “medical mystery” and sent me home. (Somewhere in here is when the allergist suggested I had mast cell problems) By the summer of 2019, I could barely walk and couldn’t stay awake through the day. I was sleeping at least 10 hours a night and needing a two or three hour nap every afternoon. I saw a post by thebibliosphere about POTS, and brought it up at my next cardiologist appointment. He didn’t have a tilt table**, but did the test where they take my heart rate and blood pressure while lying down, sitting down, and standing, and I was like textbook perfect POTS numbers. He offered to surgically cauterize part of my heart to slow it down.*** I said “can I try salt pills first?” and he said “Sure. Can’t hurt. Might help!” Salt pills made a HUGE difference. I could stay awake! I still couldn’t walk far and got tired easily, but the brain fog lifted a little and I could think and plan again, so I asked my primary care doctor for one more referral. The neurologist and endocrinologist hadn’t found anything****, but surely the way salt affected me would mean something, right??? He gave me a referral to a nephrologist, who did some tests and told me my kidneys were fine but that based on how dramatically salt affected me I had “salt wasting syndrome”***** and put me on fludrocortisone. That brings us to today! I do not have answers for what, exactly, is wrong with my adrenals. Something very clearly is, and multiple doctors have said that. I’ve been tested for all the dangerous options and all the more common options, and I have none of them. I am extremely, extremely lucky; I have very weird versions of every single health problem I have, but the weirdness makes them less dangerous. My POTS is hypotensive, meaning that while I can’t take beta blockers or anything to slow my heart rate and am at a higher risk for passing out, I will not have long term health problems from high blood pressure. My heart rate is also always regular, no arrhythmia, which means I am much less likely to have heart problems later. I have asthma and can’t use rescue inhalers, but it’s weirdly never affected my blood oxygen levels or lung capacity. I have severe allergies, but weirdly very slow ones, so I have time to take benadryl before I reach the dangerous stage (it can take like 8 or 9 hours for me to go from “first symptoms” to “requires a hospital”, instead of the near-instant reactions some people have). Even with all the medications and lifestyle changes I’ve made, I am still very very sensitive to heat, pollen, and dehydration, and some days are better than others when it comes to things like “being able to climb stairs” or “being able to stand for long”. I still need to avoid my food allergies, and will probably never be able to drink alcohol of any kind. It would be very, very difficult for me to live on my own, but my life is so much better now than it was back in 2019 before my diagnoses. I know more people are getting POTS and long covid now, and while long epstein-barr virus isn’t quite the same, I think the path ahead of you might be similar to the path I’ve had to take? It sucks. It sucks! It’s long, and exhausting when you’re already the most tired you’ve ever been, and it seems like there is no end and no help and no hope sometimes, but things can get better. “Better” might not ever be what you used to be able to do, but there will still be so many things you’ll be able to do, and so many new hobbies and places and stories and people to love. If you have POTS, and want to talk about it or ask questions, my inbox is open. If you don’t have POTS and have questions about it, I’ll answer those too. Also, if you don’t have POTS and are organizing an event, please, PLEASE make sure there is somewhere to sit, water to drink, and air conditioning or at least shade if it’s hot. Heat makes POTS much, much worse. *this may or may not be because my adrenals don’t work right, and high intensity exercise seems to help me a LOT with adrenaline. **my understanding is that this is like the gold standard POTS test ***that would have been Very Very Bad for me. My heart rate is high, but any time I take any medication to lower it, my blood pressure drops like a rock. I’m talking 70s over 40s. Can barely stay conscious. ****they both told me I “might have anxiety”. So did more than one urgent care doctor I went to for severe allergic reactions. That’s both supremely unhelpful, obvious, and very clearly not the answer. As far as I understand it, stress will not make your resting heart rate reach 160 bpm unless something is very wrong with something else in your body *****This...isn’t actually a diagnosis. It could mean two things: SIADH or cerebral salt wasting syndrome. SIADH gets worse with additional salt and water, not better, and cerebral salt wasting syndrome is very short term (like weeks at most) after head trauma or surgery so it’s kind of a non-diagnosis? It got me the fludrocortisone, though, and every single one of the many things that could be wrong with my adrenals are treated with fludrocortisone, so it kind of doesn’t matter.

#the person behind the yarn #long post #tj talks about POTS #medical mention #medication mention #I think that's everything I need to warn for but let me know if I should add more warnings #I did not know how to end this post. can you tell? lol #weird thing about POTS (for me) is that the brain fog kind of cancels out the ADHD #so when I'm having a flareup I have no energy but pretty much don't have executive function trouble (except that my memory is worse)#but getting better from a flareup it's like all the executive function trouble hits me at once #I had to re-learn a bunch of coping things I had figured out as a kid once I got on salt pills #it felt like my brain was on a hamster wheel spinning super fast and getting nowhere #completely unable to focus. it evened out after a while!#or I got better at managing it idk #but it still happens every time I recover from a flareup #idk if this post will help anyone #but that post from thebibliosphere literally changed my life #honestly might have saved my life?#because the very bad POTS was masking the allergy symptoms I get at the beginning of a reaction #which made it impossible to figure out what I was allergic to #getting on salt pills and fludrocortisone allowed me to figure out my other health problems and get them under control #if this post can help one person figure out they might have POTS and get the help they need #I think it might be repaying the help I've been given a little #Idk. I am very lucky in my life and I want to share that luck with others when I can #oh wait forgot to explain: the migraines were allergies and the muscle spasms were because of electrolyte imbalances #I still get them both if I get allergied or if I don't stay on top of my electrolyte intake but I have several electrolyte supplements now

14 notes · View notes

britneyshakespeare · 2 years

Text

three thoughts

1) drawing myself in the mirror, i expected, would be very hard w my body image issues. they are deeply ingrained from childhood and though i cope w them better nowadays they are not gone, and they have taken me to very dark places before. i’ve mainly coped w it by not looking at myself for too long since fixating on my appearance can make me spiral. but once i sat down and actually started drawing, it wasn’t that bad at all. i didn’t have the fear of whether or not my arms were too big or my belly too folded since i was only thinking about how my shoulder was aligned with my collar bones and at what angle those are in relation to my elbow, etc. looking at the plain contours of my body in relation to each other, objectively, that wasn’t so bad at all since i wasn’t worried about whether the product was “beautiful” as much as if it was accurate. and, i wasn’t looking at my body as a whole until i finished the drawing. i was looking at parts of them, though not the parts i normally fixate negatively on. i was just trying to navigate the landmarks. it was kind of healing to realize i could do this. normally when i feel detached from my body, it makes me resentful of the fact that i live in one. today i was not resenting my body but just looking at it for what it was. a thing that exists. like anything else.

2) wow, i mean. i always know i’m flat-chested. but i’m flat-chested.

3) my back hurts.

#body image cw #tales from diana #the flat-chested thing is not an insecurity of mine btw i don't need anyone commenting on it.#i didn't think about it while i was drawing since i was just focusing on the form #perhaps because it was only contour lines and didn't really have any shading to give any more dimensions #idk #and i did two drawings. but the first one was waaaaay better than the second.#we were supposed to take an hour to an hour and a half on each #the first one i took almost two hours on but i think it looked pretty good #it didn't end up looking like what i thought it was going to but im satisfied w the result. not proud but satisfied #the second one... i don't acknowledge that bastard #my back was hurting and the adderall was wearing off and my pose was way less comfortable. a lotta factors at once #that resulted in it being a worse drawing. inferior. you can still tell there's effort but i was compromised #and i clocked out at about 40 minutes bc i felt stuck #i had done all the major body parts and it was also not turning out how i thought it would #but whatever.#maybe i should ask someone to model for me bc modelling one's WHOLE BODY for oneself is rather difficult and compromising #like you can only do so many poses and i only have so much space and so many mirrors #my mirror was on the ground which was another thing that made it hard #and i was cold from being in the attic in my undies for so long. whaddaya gonna do

5 notes · View notes

stellardeer · 1 month

Text

TL;DR - How would you kick someone out of your house without involving police? and Should you?

My no-note blog is probably not the best place to ask this question, but maybe someone will come along and answer, who knows.

So in the ideal circumstance that we abolish the police, I've been wondering about a specific scenario. Say there is a person in your home, for whatever reason, who has no legal right to be there, and you do not want them there (again, for whatever reason) but they refuse to leave and you want to forcibly remove them from your home.

Most people nowadays would threaten to call the cops on them, and usually that alone is enough to get people to leave. I've never actually had this problem myself, but I've known numerous people who've talked about these kinds of situations (and coincidentally they were all middle class, if that tells you anything...) I, personally, would think twice (or a million times) about calling the cops on someone, especially if the person in question is particularly vulnerable to police brutality. So, even if the police aren't abolished, I still want to know the proper alternative to handle this kind of situation.

I'm a pretty weak, easily overpowered person, so my first instinct would be to like.. call someone I know or go get a strong neighbor or something to help me get this person off of my property.

I know that the specifics of the situation also play a key role here, too, on how to handle it. Like, if the person is reasonable, I would hope that just telling them to leave would get them to go - easy enough. But if they refuse to move.. what do I even do? If it's someone that I know very well, I might think to take a break and just walk away from them and hope we can sort things out once we've calmed down. If it's someone that I don't know very well, though, (not even necessarily an intruder, but just say someone who is overstaying their welcome) and especially if tensions are not even high, I wouldn't really know what to do. Some states even have squatters rights, so like.. sometimes you literally CAN'T do anything about this person being in your home, and in some cases they can even get you kicked out. I think it's kind of obvious that if the person clearly has violent intentions towards me, then I have a right to defend myself, but again, I am not going to be able to do that by myself, and I don't know what the legalities are around asking for help from another citizen, i.e. not a cop, if someone means to do you harm?

And what if you do ask for help and your helper ends up injuring the person in the process of trying to get them out?? I'd imagine it's still better than calling a cop, and risking getting a life-ruining criminal record, or worse, shot and killed. But I'd also imagine there could be grounds for them to sue if they get injured by the helper since the helper is not a professional of any kind and not protected in anyway. Only some states have protections against self defense anyway, and I don't know if it even counts if you invited the person into your home willingly and they weren't being violent to begin with. Like.. if they person is just stubbornly standing there and then your burly neighbor puts hands on them first, I don't think that even counts as self defense for the homeowner? At that point if the person fights back then they have a case for self-defense.

And I don't know what the leftist attitude is towards personal property like that anyway, like should we even have a right to our own home? I don't know the leftist view on that, I get the idea that individualism is not the move, but like.. do we still have our own personal space? Space that we are allowed to bar others from entering? Even if that space extends to the entirety of a 2-bedroom home? I'm asking sincerely, because I really haven't read enough socialist theory, so I don't know what the opinions are on home ownership in general. Like in an ideal society, would we supposedly just allow the person to stay for as long as they like, as long as they aren't hurting anything? That's another part of it, like what if they aren't doing any harm but I still don't want them there? Am I wrong for wanting them to leave, even if I don't know them? Supposing even if they are an intruder, if they haven't stolen anything or hurt me or my animals, but they just... won't leave, should I even be mad about that?

But again, forget an ideal society, let's take it back to reality, assuming that I live in the US and the laws are exactly the same as they are in this moment, police are not abolished, but I am choosing to not involve the police in this matter... what is the right thing to do???? Should I just resolve myself to accept that this person lives with me now?? I don't even live in a state with squatters rights, so I don't legally have to, but.. should I? (more thoughts and anecdotes if the tags if you feel like reading)

#leftism #socialism #communism #abolish police #this is open to debate for anyone it's one half sincere question and one half ethics think piece #like.. there may not be any one 'right' 'good' answer for every situation i just want to hear opinions from people who know more than me #please try to be civil and i know this might sound like a stupid question but I'm asking it in good faith #I feel like a LOT of people (at least US citizens) will just tell me 'well duh you have a right to not want someone in your space'#but like idk i've been thinking over this for a few days now and questioning if I even do have that right??#like obviously i have a right to boundaries but do i have a right to a 784sq ft home?#if i have extra space im not occupying all of the time is it wrong for me to keep someone out of it?#i'm someone who prefers to live alone and i've just recently got my house to myself after having a guest for over a year #he is a friend of mine and it made me miserable having him here sometimes (despite him doing nothing wrong)#but our other friends kept telling me to kick him out and i just couldnt believe they would even suggest that??#like.. just because i want to live by myself doesn't mean it's better to put him out on the street??#i still cant believe they saw no issue with that #and not once while he was here did i ever consider making him leave so this question isn't about him or anything #this anecdote is just an example of like.. differences in opinion on personal space #i have a 2-bd trailer and i've been waiting to turn my second bedroom into an office #but i let him live in the extra room while he was here because i was able to get by just fine without it #but i think i might feel different if someone i didnt know just showed up in my home one day and wanted to live here #or what if my friend (not that he would EVER) did become violent and i DID need to force him to leave? like .. what do??#this question mostly came up because someone i met recently was telling a story about a terrible roommate he had #but his (the person telling the story) parents owned the property or something and this guy's lease was up but he wasn't leaving #so they threw all his stuff out because he had been gone for a couple weeks and they assumed he wasnt coming back #but then he showed up one day looking for his things and was trying to take stuff from the kitchen #and the guy (telling the story) told him that he couldn't take anything and he needed to leave and said he would call the cops if he didn't #and i kept my mouth shut (especially cause the roommate sounded particularly foul) but i would not dream of calling the cops over that #but it was like... just because they owned the property and he didn't want him there calling the cops was a perfectly reasonable response #it sickens me

1 note · View note