#idk what im trying to say here lol

[gendrie]

Could you give me your ideas on how a gendry/arya reunion/relationship would have happened if the 5 year time skip had happened. Or what you would have liked to happen. I love your interpretation of both their characters so much!!

i have a lot of conflicted, maybe even contradictory, thoughts on this. bc on the one hand i think oh it would be so different! but then i realize it probably won’t be......i think about it quite a bit wrt the starklings too bc they wouldve spent like 8 ish years apart? and that is just a really long time. thats a major chunk of adolescence and nearly as long as they spent together if not just as much or more. the feeling of mistrust that i expect we will see with arya and sansa for example wouldve been more than understandable. any other reaction actually makes zero sense in that context. but 3 years is still a long time for a child esp with trauma. arya has thought, more than once, that her life as arya stark seems like it was “a thousand years” ago. a nearly decade long separation for us as readers seems like a huge difference, but i think the faster paced version is all going to play out the same for those in the story. 

with arya/gendry im only expecting minor differences in the grand scheme of things. when we see gendry in affc arya has only been gone for like? 6 months i think? the grief is very fresh. and the separation will only be a year or so. the bwb is still searching for her so i think gendry probably feels some hope that arya will come back. he knows, better than anyone imo, what a survivor arya is. but if they’d been apart for 5 years he wouldve really thought she was gone forever. if she walked through the doors of the crossroads at that point would he even know her? this teenage girl? it would be like seeing a half remembered ghost. for both of them. theres no reason gendry won’t immediately recognize her upon being reunited in this timeline, though. (no, i don’t think arya will be utilizing any face changing magic after she bounces) 

i do love the image of them being separated as children and reunited as young adults. i kinda mourn the loss of that, but at the same time i always end up back at the same point which is grrm intends to do all the same shit. when he dropped the 5 year gap mercy didnt get scrapped. it got reworked. likely just to take the sexual elements down several notches. thats what it comes down to. arya/gendry are locked into a pg-13 rating and thats fine lol. either way i’d hope for something slow burning. they already have romantic undertones. stuff like rolling around on the floor tearing each others clothes, the "suitors" that compete for their attention, the love song, ect. thats what i want and gap or not gap we’re gonna get more of it.  

#idk what im trying to say here lol #like time/age are just weird in asoiaf #and full of contradictions #ask #asoiaf nonsense

[robozombii]

my lewvithur content: they kiss each other!!!

my vithur content: 💫🌟✨💞💓💗THEY KISS EACH OTHER💖💗💞💝💖💫

my lewthur content: 💥‼️‼️🔥🔥🪦🔪🪦THEY ARE KILLING EACH OTHER💥‼️‼️🔪🔪😦‼️🔥

#msa #idk what im trying to say here lol #may or may not be an omen

[gifti3]

okay im back with more for this arranged marriage AU! Heres the last thing i wrote

this time i made something longer--Asmo and MC doing their little meeting/date before agreeing to marriage its fun check it out :]

the only warning is "an upset asmo getting in ur personal space'" other than that i think thats it!

Tomorrow you were supposed to meet your possible future fiancé. This type of affair was not a first time thing for you so you already had an idea of how things would go. Which was the two of you being forced to interact for several hours.

Though you knew what was coming, was it not possible to be a little nervous considering who it was you were meeting?

Asmodeus Morningstar--one of the most influential families in Nefarelin. Their was no shortage of exceptional members in that tree. And to be crass, every other potential spouse you met before were like dried leaves in comparison.

And this didn't even factor Asmodeus's own appeal and popularity. You'd only seen him in passing a few times but you could tell he was quite beautiful even from a distance. On top of that, the general public were strangely obsessed with him. You weren't completely sure why, but he must be very likeable if that's the case.

God, how many people have probably asked for his hand in marriage by now? You could only wonder.

All around it would be pretty foolish to turn this down. And that's why you were nervous…. Your parents were giving you a choice. But it was one of those choices where the answers were 'yes' or 'hmm, okay I suppose'. You did not want to know what would happen if you dare declined.

You'd already considered the logistics of this situation, dwelled on it for days. And it would definitely be a loveless marriage from your side. And that was something normal…but you were fine with how your life was currently! You didn't want to deal with any expectations romantic or otherwise from a spouse.

And what about Asmodeus.

He was well loved by many, had a reputation for enjoying the nightlife and being the center of attention. It seemed highly unlikely that a man like him was looking to "settle down" all of a sudden!

Your hands stop fiddling with your hair.

Wait.

Maybe this arrangement could work.

~

God this is so uncomfortable.

Maybe you underestimated Asmodeus. For some reason the first time your eyes met his saccharine ones, you struggled with maintaining contact. Each time, it felt like he was staring straight into your mind.

Perhaps it was just your nerves but either way you were overwhelmed. You didn't feel like yourself so had trouble talking.

Luckily for you, Asmodeus didn't notice or didn't care as he had been talking nonstop this entire time.

"Hellooo?"

"Oh--sorry what did you say?"

Asmodeus repeats his question while fanning himself. "I asked if you wanted to rest for a minute. I need a break from the sun."

"Okay…"

It was sunny today but not too hot to take a walk. Though you had been outside for a good while with Asmodeus. You both make your way to a gazebo that provided good shade around this time of day.

You rest your elbows on on of the railings and prop your head in your hands. A small sigh escapes you.

"Can you make it any more obvious that you don't want to be here?"

Asmodeus rests a small distance away, smiling but you're not so sure if he's being lighthearted about it.

It was a fair observation. These meetings always felt like a waste of time to you. They were forced interactions. The worst type. And you already knew you'd agree with the arranged marriage at the end anyways.

"Sorry, I'm just a little tired."

You look back at him and try to give a friendly(?) smile. Actually why not just be straightforward now?

"It's kind of hard to believe you want to get married. It doesn't seem like something that would interest someone like you."

"Eh…I guess there comes a time in everyone's life where they think about these things."

Very vague.

Asmodeus leans back in his chair, looking up as if he's scraping through his brain. "But I don't recall running into you beforehand. I definitely would have remembered…so how would you know that?"

"I've heard a lot about you. Kind of impossible not to."

You had a bit of an idea about him before this whole situation. But once it got out that he was "interested" in proposing, well the maids had no problem telling you everything they knew. It was definitely not all true, but it pretty much confirmed what you already felt.

"That makes sense. Isn't it great that now you get to experience me in person instead of by word-of-mouth~"

"…Uh huh. Well I feel like I should tell you now. That I plan to say yes."

"Say yes?"

"Say yes to marrying you."

You watch for any negative reactions but nothing. Though you were still sure he wasn't really interested in marriage.

"…Oh?"

"Listen I understand if you were forced into this position. In fact, I'm sure that you were. And to be honest I've never been partial to marriage myself. I always thought it wasn't in the cards for me…"

You take a step away from the railing closer to Asmodeus. "But wouldn't it be foolish to say no? Outside of the benefits it would have for my family. You're definitely one of the most sought after bachelors…and well just look at you. I'm almost a little envious…"

Asmodeus's curious face changes to something else. Something you can't really place your finger on. You just knew he didn't look very pleased.

"Well at least I know you're not blind." His fingers play with his fringe. "And that's all fine and dandy but…"

When Asmodeus stands and looks back at you your heart skips a beat. You take a step back as he takes one forward. "I hope you're ready to handle me because I don't think you can."

Oh my god what was happening?

You were frozen in place as Asmodeus trapped you against the railing between his arms. You didn't even think to push him away and just stood there stupidly.

"I-I…"

Rustling sounds from a nearby hedge, but when you both look in the direction of the noise there's giggling and the sound of retreating people.

You sigh. At least someone was enjoying the show.

You gently push at Asmodeus's chest so you can make space.

"Sorry sometimes the staff gets bored haha…er should we h-head back?"

"If that's what you want."

Asmodeus turns away from you. "I just want you to know that since this marriage is just a title I'll be sticking to my usual. Hope you don't mind~" He walks away humming to himself.

Your brows furrow…that man. Why'd he have to do all that? You weren't expecting anything different in the first place?

You let out a huge sigh. Was this going to be the norm from now on?

Well at least you both were on the same page about the marriage…. but you couldn't help but think a serious misunderstanding just occurred.

#U know when ur playing a game and you pick the wrong dialogue choice #Anyways got kinda lost there at the end #I was like...hmm i hope this makes sense! #i dont wanna overthink this and get tired too fast cause i would like to come up with more stuff before i get bored #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me nightbringer #anyways...not me using miscommunication for drama #dont worry itll be fixed quickly cause mc cant take the heat for long #and is like...whats ur freaking problem?? i didnt do anything to you?? #and asmo is still being passive aggressive but explains #and mc is like...im not trying to use u?? #i thought we could have a kinda mutual beneficial relationship here...? #or something like that #idk shits happening yall lol #Nefarelin is a made up place #i pulled from thin air #cause i didnt wanna say devildom lol

[charmac]

i don't think people hcing charlie as transfem are trying to dismiss the transmasc charlie hc! i think it's more of a projection thing for a lot of people, since i know at least a few of the main people who enjoy the headcanon are transfem themselves!! i don't think you have much to worry about in terms of people dismissing the tmasc or other genderqueer charlie hc anyways, since it's already much more popular! i think you're perhaps being a bit too critical.

I've literally never said anything like this at all, I think you've either misinterpreted something else I've said or have the wrong blog.

All of my Charlie gender-based posts or reblogs I've stated/tagged that I think any interpretation of Charlie's gender can make sense, be it transmasculine, transfeminine, nonbinary, agender, whatever you want.

I am one of the ~3 blogs that has access to The Bathroom Problem script and who posted and pointed out that you can make out/slightly hear the Joyce cuts in the episode itself. I would not have excitedly shared that for open-interpretation if I was "worried" people are "dismissing" transmasc Charlie headcanons. (Which, again, I've literally never said, but in any case, I believe it's valid for anyone to dismiss a headcanon they don't agree with, fandom is a sandbox.)

What I personally don't care for are genderbends and, almost by extension, analysis/meta on canon scenes that rename/re-gender the characters with no basis (or, one that comes off wrong). Both topics I've literally never publicly spoken out against here, nor have I said anything bad/negative to everyone who personally enjoys these things, so there is no way for me to possibly be "too critical" in that regard. I keep most of my opinions to myself and my close mutuals, almost exactly for what you're saying: I personally don't want to harsh or dismiss anyone's headcanons.

I have never said, and have never meant to imply, that anyone interpreting Charlie as transfem is attempting to dismiss anyone else's headcanon (which again would be a non issue to me anyway).

#if youre coming here from a certain twitter post #which #mind you was a 3 deep reply to one specific mutual. aka not a public criticism #i believe you are incorrectly interpreting what my issue is #bc it is not about 'headcanon erasure' #and i did not post about it on this blog. never intended to. because im not trying to be critical or dismissive. im venting to mutuals #if youre saying i cant personally have an issue with something idk what to tell you lol. ok? #and if youre one of my mutuals who ive like #personally ranted to about these various things #idk that would be very random and kinda weird to come into my askbox on anon about this #my dms are always open to chat i like having critical and opposing conversations #anyway im not trying to win the charlie gender headcanon war i literally dgaf #i dont even talk about transmasc charlie much at all? so idk where that idea comes from #like im pretty seated in him being amab i just enjoy other peoples transmasc interpretations #im way too rooted in canon in actuality to care much about all this! #hence. why canon misinterpretation bugs me *personally* #ok im going to the back office to get drunk #ask

[stonerzelda]

idk what to say anymore lol like kinda have to think im the problem when it comes to jobs now....maybe i am asking too much to have decent customers And coworkers And like general good environment. Idk. I just complain about every job i get which on one hand: duh but in the other: ok u probably cant have it both ways gabi lol

#gahd. i can never have it leveled huh #always something #bizarre how 10 yrs into working retail only now am i getting the shitty coworkers and h8 to say it but unfortunately masking deffo plays #a part in it 🥴 #like im treated differently and kept at arms length from the get go. retirement home fell apart when they lifted the mandate and i was the #only one still masking and literally like idk WHAT else i possibly coukdve done to get straight up bullied after that #and here again im alone and the others believe in homeopathy. saooo #that combined with my general like learning disabilities? im just a liability #confirmed to be thought of as just an idiot like straight up #no amount of effort is yielding me Any results except for maybe prolonging my time here Because km trying so hard #so they cant let me go lol #but oh my god dude come on. this is soooo stupid i dont underStand

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Summary:

Three little scenes on the theme of singing.

:) I was in the mood for something short and sweet. Hope you enjoy!

#gotta go back to work for a bit but i couldn't resist posting this as soon as i had a few free minutes #i originally meant to post these on here only but the middle vignette got away from me a bit. lol #i think the moment miles complained about rose humming is the moment that cemented my severe dislike of him. like. dude. #your girlfriend is snow-white mary poppins the most adorable princess ever #and you complain? that she hums??? im going to break your kneecaps???? #idk what else i can say about dorothy singing 'what'll i do'. that scene is everything it changed my life ngl #i guess i wanted a happier memory related to it than 'oh she sings it and then leaves forever four episodes later' #i hope rose's pov works well! i'm never quite sure about it. i should give a try to a whole fic in her pov soon #please tell me im not the only one who found blanche's beer jingle to be the sweetest thing ever. she sang it in such a soft voice #like it's funny ofc but i just melted #might be because im in love with her though #i always ramble in the tags when i post this stuff lmao. i hope you all have fun #hugs and kisses for you! #the golden girls #golden wives #writing

[death-himself]

finally got mentally prepared to watch matpat’s final theory and damn it made me think

as someone who didn’t grow up with any video games other than wii sports and lego games, i have no idea how i became a fan in the early days

all of my knowledge of mario, sonic, and legend of zelda comes from matpat. same probably goes for a lot of classic/popular games honestly. i was watching those videos solely for the math and matpat himself

i think the only way i got into game theory was through minecraft. that really old theory where he figured out how much diamond armor was worth might have been the first video i watched

that was 11 years ago. i was 9 years old when i watched that, i’m 20 now. the fact that ive been watching matpat for over half my life is insane (even more insane is that i haven’t taken any time to learn more about loz or sonic or anything lol)

and for those 11 years i never even subscribed to the channel, i just watched the videos enough to have youtube slap the newest upload onto my recommended page every time to make me feel like i was subscribed

so thank you matpat for shaping part of my childhood. i’m gonna be honest tho, this 11 year streak is too funny to me so i’m not gonna be subscribing now, gonna keep watching almost every video tho and maybe trick myself into thinking i’m subscribed again lol

#idk what exactly i was trying to say in this i just needed to speak into the void #game theory #matpat #gonna be honest i know straight up nothing about sonic #from what i’ve seen it looks like just a runner sort of game but i know im wrong about that #one or two ppl i follow on here are loz fans so i’ve at least seen screenshots of stuff #but if anyone wants to fill me in on what i’m missing feel free lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[kelocitta]

I love your RW art month tiles. What art program do you use and how do you get those really clean textures and shapes?

I use PaintToolSai, both 1 and 2- but most of the drawing gets done in SAI1 since I couldn't get my brushes to import right for 2. Its an extremely bare bones program all things considered (Sai2 less so, it has a bit more tool-wise, but I only draw in it if i *have* too or for minor stuff) so its nothing really fancy being employed, everything geometric I do just by using a self made grid to measure out shapes like you would a piece of paper.

Literally its just a measured out grid of like... 50 by 50 px squares with cross sections? I just paste it as needed and draw the lines around it and since the measurements are consistent it just works.

my default pen is already "crunchy" so being perfectly matched isnt a huge deal, and you can general paste and rotate to make it look a little cleaner. Honestly I've used this same grid for forever (and it was off by like one pixel at one point lol) its just really useful for quick matching things for a program that doesn't have stuff built in for lining things up As for the textures, those are all default to SAI (I think?). The brush I use lightly uses of fabri (which mostly just makes the edges of the brush grainier) and then I usually also put some various level of a layer texture overlay thats just one of SAI's default 'watercolor' textures. It mostly just adds a little bit of a noise/grain effect. Heres that on max

For ArtMonth itself I just draw out a tile canvas using the grid with all the layers broken up- then I just reuse it over and over as needed. There's probably smarter ways to do it, but eh it works

And yeah, theres just two borders. One for the bottom and one for the top, makes it easy to make something that goes 'in and out' of the tiles without having to think to much. Just snip as needed

#ask #i feel so bad trying to explain how i draw because not only do i suck at explaining it everything is SO sloppy compared to like #fancier artists. Idk man im basically out here with a pair of scissors a ruler and some paper. I can make a new layer and nothing else #i guess i should also note that i draw on fairly tiny canvases most of the time which means texture stuff can get a little more... strong? #than what i tend to see with huge canvases. Like most of my brush sizes run anywhere from like size 6 to 16 at max and that can be a decent #difference in look. I wouldn't say ones better or worse than the other just that there is a little bit of a different in feel there #artmonth canvases are sub 900 so that twitter keeps them transparent #in particular #ALSO SORRY IF THIS IS LIKE BADLY WRITTEN ITS 4AM #OH YEAH EXTRA NOTE: i have been playing with clip studio. not for like #serious use because i think it has too many things (lol) but i had to grab it for conversion stuff. I have played with a couple of layer #stuff there (the lizards i did recently. not the last one) i have no clue how to use that program or what any of the buttons do but i guess #if you wanna do what ive did with the lizards thats 'hitting random buttons in clip studio' and not SAI

[carpisuns]

theOrEticalLy . if I opened commissions at some point. would there be. a smackerel of interest . ??

#i have never opened them bc it’s intimidating and I don’t know how to price things!! #but mostly bc i work full time w a good salary so I don’t really need side things to make money #like it feels selfish to suggest that people should pay me to make fanart?? When #a) I already do that for free bc i enjoy it lol #and b) there are so many creators out there who are struggling to make ends meet #and I am privileged enough to generally not have to worry about that #this would be just like extra spending money to fund my scented candle habit DHDJDN #and the clothes I just bought while trying to Discover My Vibe and Finally Be Myself (at age 28 lol) #also tbh it would likely be reinvested in other commissions bc I buy commissions fairly often lol #anyway. idk the idea of commissions always sounded cool but also guilt inducing and scary #it feels weird and silly bc it would make me have to take my art seriously if that makes sense?? #like me saying ‘I think I’m good enough at art that people would buy it from me.’ that feels so bold and like. arrogant or something dhjsjd #coming from me I mean. just a silly little guy who still struggles to draw human limbs properly #ok I’m thinking about how I’d have to make a commission sheet and put a dollar sign on my art and I’m aaaaaaa #and I’d have to execute exactly what people want and what if I can’t!!! #omg ok maybe noT help lol #well im not committing to anything rn im simply. asking a question while the dash is asleep and then running off to bed seeya #i think part of me always wanted to try commissions to see if I could be a Real Artist about it ?? #and potentially end up with like. Portfolio pieces ?? #why I would need an art portfolio I don’t know. I am an editor. What do I think I will be doing here #ppl left comments on my animatic that have been giving me crazy what if thoughts. sit down #don’t look at me #ohhh swirly brain thoughts I need to sleep

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #whats literally so funny was that as soon as i saw him walk in the room last year i knew he was gonna be trouble for me #however i never knew itd be this kind n this deep JDJDNDJJDNDJDNDNDN #we are like........ way closer than i ever anticipated. im terrified that we wont have anything to talk about once school ends #i wanna say so much to him but i... theres so much school stress i just.... i dont wanna add anything extra on top for myself or for him... #hhhhhh god lmao. this time last year i hadnt even spoken to him n now im like..... in this Thing that is maybe mutual but maybe isnt #god....... this shit is so hard NFJFJJFJFJFJF #i only see him like 3 more times in the near future...... #then i gotta wait a bit.... but i dont want to 😭😭😭 #i wanna see him every week.... at least... but its probably gonna be on a month basis even IF THAT.... #god what if it all fizzles out............ #hhhhhhhhhh #im gonna try to keep it going. im just..... idk. im scared #i hope he tries to keep it going too..... #its just hard.... when its 2 ppl that like.... only talk when they need to...... try to keep in touch JFJDJDJDJDKKDKDKDK #the most we go now is a full day without talking...... like either i'll message or he will #usually its me.... but... im more talkative i guess ... IDK #all ik is that i Know hes not talking to anyone else at school LMAO #one of my friends was like.... ya dont bother putting him in a group chat .. he never answere #while im over here like.... LOL he messages me back always within minutes/seconds #and if hes offline... as soon as hes back online. #JXJXKKXKXKXKZ GOD. #n e way. see him today............ looking forward to it but also nervous 😳 #i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation #feel really comfortable around him LOL. never thought id say that #anyway

[todayisafridaynight]

So what's one of your favorite Tsutsumi fits 😉

random as hell question to be askin 🤨 so mysterious...

but since you did ask probably this one <3 from the second episode of pure <3

#snap chats #i love his scarves and turtlenecks in this too- i love a lot of toru's outfits tbh. i just think he's cute in general </3 #highkey its prob one of my faves cause this is also my favorite sequence of scenes #he and yuka are just esp cute it makes me giggle #their autism4autism love is my favorite..... fr this sequence is so cute like CAN I. RAMBLE about it real quick #cause it's a scene where yuka invites toru home but there's a sign left by her mom on the door that says not to let strangers in #and With His Eyes toru reads it like 'is it ok if im here ??' and yuka just 🥺 'youre my friend and a nice person so its ok :)' #and then he just gives her The Stare™️ yk the one and i cry. AND THE SCENE AFTER WHEN SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE COFFEE-- #guys this is my favorite episode for a reason idc pure still has a chokehold on me 😭😭😭 theyre so cute.. #back to the outfit tho its also just. VERY city-goer to me idk what it is. prob all the denim. prob cause its somethin my dad would wear-- #im usually denim's number-one hater but if ttm's wearing it it's ok #OH ALSO update on OMC2: ttm IS in it TECHNICALLY but it's just a quick flashback segment #it's. it's a flashback to the ending scene ☠️ #even in a movie he's not technically in he's still shirtless girl i cant #and yet he was never shirtless in THIS show... lol.... #anyway yeah it this one <3 def had plans of stealing it since the store i usually shop at's having a sale and they're sellin a similar shir #that'll have to be plans for christmas i think....

[thelooniemoonie]

Let me drink your light

Alt version under the cut:

#pokemon legends arceus #pla #legends arceus #volo #pla volo #pokemon legends arceus volo #moonies makings #yeah idk i started listening to this song- blacked out and next thing i knew this was on my canvas screen #wanted to try and mimic Cecile's style kinda? im proud of the lineart but idk how i feel about the gold lol #needless to say liquid gold is a lot harder to draw than the solid version lol #think it was good practice tho. i am proud of Volo's lineart here tho #ALSO THE ARCEUS TOP SURGERY SCARS STAY ON THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE #also adding image descriptions for the first time! i have no idea what im doing akjdghkajdgh

[weirdasshomo]

desire? in this economy??

#bros mad #depressio hours here #naw cuz i came across the q 'what do u desire? if u could get anyrhing? what w it be?' #n went immidietly that should i ask my baby dog back but realized that no i dont #i couldnt go trough it twise #n idk #realized i would never try to bring anyone back from death #like i could lol #but idk if i even have a say in that cuz i did make a deal like this once but we shall see how that one ends tbh #but yeah #im loosing my mind #nvm #lom

[cinnamon-notes]

i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)

#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact #with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes #but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost #become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad. #i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their #hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed #and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month??? #after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they #lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never #had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant #really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you #just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs #capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem. #and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them. #sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont #care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem #and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did #try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry” #and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found #yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!! #and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i #crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :) #cinnamon diary

[taegularities]

hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍

#i'll be completely honest #you guys n the love you give are the reason why i'm still here #bc there are days and weeks when i.... don'tenjoytumblranymore #it's not bc of interaction or anything bc my god you guys talk to me so much ily :( #but tumblr has changed... the bts fandom has changed. the dash is literally EMPTY #it feels so different from when i joined back early 2021... everyone was so happy and loud back then #and so enthusiastic about writing too... like i still fkn love writing all i write #but the level of excitement about writing has changed.. it's why i try to take it slower these days #my god i used to have a schedule lmao could never today 💀 #but yeah idk... sometimes im like... this isn't fun anymore and maybe it's time to give up #but that's exactly when y'all come thru and say something SUPER SWEET and i'm like.. wait ykw #i love this space.. it's still comfort and warmth #so yeah thank you for giving me hope and keeping me here you mean so much to me #the platform changes and sucks sometimes but you guys remain here and are as fucking kind as ever and #make this little community irreplaceable #i love you #and yeah. i just needed to get this off my chest bc it has been on my mind for rlly long #especially since those community labels butchered and changed interaction :/ like i just know the c&f family could've been #a lot bigger if not for the label on pt1.. could've really been one of the biggest stories around here but lol it is what it is !! the love #is overwhelming as it is so thank you <3 #okay that's way too long pls ignore me bye #tdl???