#idk i like my new theme

[legoyuri]

non mbav mutuals every day i dont post about mbav im sparing you. be thankful

#I LOVE MBAV I LOSAFDJ AHRJKAWHFJAKSMNFDBGH #idk i like my new theme #its beachy

[personishfive]

in which fine. ok. sure. i guess.

#my art #p5 #joker #wonder #p5x #<- ...? i guess #i was about to go to bed -_- #does the new guy have a name. god idk #<- apparently its wonder...?sure #do i win first person to draw this guy...? #anyway. hes like simultaneously off brand joker and off brand tatsuya (i miss him) its really funny. #why does the spin off gacha game have to get the aquarium themed velvt room....i wanted her so bad and then i got her...in a gacha game... #anyway im tired and i have school tomorrow. um goodnight #comics

[the-chosen-half-of-one]

You’ve heard of “rotating blorbos around in your mind,” now get ready for “rotating just the most random phrases you’ve ever heard or seen.” Now with the added bonus of: the broken record function, which lets you experience the magic of repeating the phrase internally on loop forever with no clue as to why and no way of stopping it no matter the relevancy to current circumstance or situation!

#I can’t get would that this hoodie were a time hoodie out of my head all of a sudden #I don’t know why why would that phrase stick?? of all possible phrases #I keep repeating it to myself and like ??? #is this an adhd thing? #it reminds me of what Brick does in the Middle repeating things he’s heard kind of involuntarily just getting stuck on them #like the you’re gonna love our pizza ep #one of the other phrases currently on endless loop mode of rotation in my head is just that post that says mental eelness with an eel photo #so make of that what you will #Idk what to tag this as #rotating in my head #neurodivergence #probably #I remember as a kid the end of the emperors new school theme would just go kuzco kuzco go go constantly on the bus

[poemistic]

im really sad no one else saw the cult aspects of sh3 more compelling like i did when i first watched a playthrough of it. idk it maybe my religious trauma talking, but the constant talk of bringing salvation and being saved by god steams from the deep primal fear of the world and life and all its sufferings and just the gaping unknown of what comes after death and!!! idk it gripped me personally. along with heather’s struggles with identity, agency, and the constant themes of cycles repeating and rebirth?? 

Saint Alessa Gillespie Mother of God Daughter of God?? am i the only one who thought this went fucking hard as hell?? 

in this part of the game when we see this painting, Heather has been going through a lot of self reflecting, especially during the chapel section. We really get to see Alessa’s life was like when she was carrying God, and it’s during this part I think heather accepts that Alessa is an important part of who she is, even if she’s no longer Alessa anymore. I think she says something along the lines of “I’m not Alessa, but Alessa is still me.” at one point. I can’t help but see it as an allegory for self acceptance, specifically the acceptance of trauma/abuse done unto you. Heather’s denial of being Alessa makes sense during the beginning. She has no memory of being Alessa, and people (Claudia) who clearly want to hurt her keep insisting that she is. 

But the thing is, Claudia sees heather as Alessa: Mother of God... simply a vessel meant to carry their cult’s deity. not the true Alessa Gillespie. So as the game continues with Heather recovering more memories of her past life, along with suffering the same problems as Alessa did 17 years ago, she truly comes to accept that she was Alessa, who fought SO Hard to be and to live as heather!!! Being heather, or Cheryl Mason, was supposed to be Alessa’s hard won happy ending. After literal years of being tortured in a cocoon of pain and misery, Alessa does escape in the end too, through being reborn as heather. How can heather deny that part of herself that used to be Alessa, after all Alessa has done to get her where she is? 

the symbolism of agency and autonomy with the mother of god daughter of god stuff makes me go actually insane. The cult forcing her into motherhood, but Alessa embracing that role to birth a life that She wants to bring into the world? A life that is filled with love and joy (with harry !!! 😭😭😭), her OWN personal paradise??? WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 

#silent hill 3 #PLEASE #i need #anyone to talk to me about this game #its my new personality trait #sh3 #heather mason #cheryl mason #alessa gillespie #the overall female socialized horror themes of sh3 i am just in love with #also the culty religious tones speak to my inner fear of god that has never left me and UGH it pokes me uncomfortably well #idk maybe im reaching with everything #silent hill meta #meta #everyone talks about silent hill 2 #which is objectively the best entry in the franchise but like #sh3 is my baby.. #never resonated with a game so hard before #silent hill #konami

[rocketbirdie]

destiny intersects with the ruined reactor...

little details!

#here i go establishing new questionable habits... #'oh yeah lemme just uhhh create an entire soundtrack to accompany my art! lmao no biggie' #but DUDE masashi hamauzu is a legend and his music sounds SO good in the ffvii soundfont ok #it's irresistable. i don't have a say in the matter. my brain says 'ok music time' and i am at its mercy like cloud giving in to jenova. #ALSO i learned so much about the soundfont while recreating the reactor section!! #you know that subtle triplet beat 'train chugging' sorta sound in the mako reactor theme? #it's actually acoustic bass plucks getting cut off SUPER short in rapid succession! #the same track uses a very deep pitched reverse cymbal sample as a spooky atmospheric 'breathing' noise. #idk man i just admire how creative og ffvii is in general with its limited tools. #ok the nerd urge has passed i'm good now #just kidding. gongaga has me in a chokehold. i'm obsessed with this place. do not talk to me about it because i will not shut up. #ffvii #ff7 #ffvii rebirth #cloud strife #my art <3 #my music <3

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[fauxbia]

Clary!! I had a dream with her in it (among other nomai) and I remember very distinctly that she had beautiful hazel eyes. So I decided to give her a design to go along with them!!

#outer wilds #outer wilds clary #it was a very cool dream (a few ow base game spoilers below!!) #generally outer wilds themed. same vague loop stuff #i had to dive down into this deeeeep ocean that was really vibrant with so many vivid colors #and navigate my way through reefs and crevasses and caves to reach a structure in the depths #it was like the vessel in general design #and i had to go through a bunch of black hole warps and find my way through the structure #puzzle out how to find the way forward #that kinda thing #and at the end there was a black hole warp way above me #and when i jump in i was taken to some kind of limbo #a room in stasis outside of time and reality #and a bunch of nomai were there!!! including yarrow n clary (they're the only ones that were identified) #none of them knew how long they'd been there or even really how they died #but ultimately the purpose of that limbo other-reality was to make a new world and a fresh start #idk i found it intriguing #faux art

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the thing with doctor who i think is that it gets better the more you know. maybe this is true of all writing but i only know doctor who so we'll focus on that. but i think it gets better the more you know this is why my fic is not very good. i dont know many things. i think if you have a background in like, just any field you can use you can make your doctor who stories more interesting. like linguistics maths physics and music are things that come to mind for me that i would like to know to make my doctor who stories more interesting but i think it can work with, like, almost anything. biology stuff also works well adds a lot. sociology stuff history. if you know how to sew really well or youve worked in meat factories. just, if you have deep knowledge about something this will enrich your doctor who stories (again, might be true for literally every writing)

but also things you can know that are just lived and not books. like i said with that post about different countries' doctor whos, every country would bring its own history and values and perspective to the stories. but also like for example the class stuff or the queer stuff you see with rtds stories like anything a writer Knows will make their stories more interesting

and thats why doctor who could literally be so good If They Diversified Their Fucking Staff. in every sense of the word. you need disabled people, trans people, racialised people, people with different religions but you need people who know other things than writing too! which i get is difficult because theyre mostly working in their fields and not writing but like there are writers who are not or have not only ever just been writers. or just get writers with some weird fucking hobbies!

even in the most basic way even if you keep your entire show white christian able-bodied man, if you have more of those you will have better stories. it will still suck! but like, less than if you only have 1 guy writing right? thats not a novel concept artists know this writers know this thats why they work together. and i get that making tv is very complex and theres a lot of interests and a lot of choices being made that arent even to do with the stories but i find it so frustrating to think about how good doctor who could be if they let other people in to put their knowledge and their perspective in the stories

#and not just in the writing but in Every Department Obviously #i just dotn know how television is made so i dont know. like. what those are #the secret good disabled trans decolonialist doctor who that lives in my head man #like you know that feeling when an artist like...........Gets a certain theme or smth #like Knows what to do with it bc they have a certain own experience or knowledge #like when an artist truly fucking knows what theyre doing #you know that feeling? when youre like this SAYS something abt the theme/trope/idea/whatevs #you know? #doctor who is so full of unused potential #i feel like we're spinning our wheels a little bit #and maybe others feel that too bc showrunners keep being like WE NEED NEW SHOCK BIG NEW #but like. youre not gonna get that with the same old perspectives! #for truly new good refreshing you need some new good refreshing people on the mic #anyway. just. frustrates me #10 to the master but it's me to doctor who the show: you could be so much more! #like 13 and 15 are fun right? with the idk new outfit and the rwandan proverb on the sonic. fucks. but #to use rtds own words. ridiculous craven feeble gesture also a little bit. i want like. substantially good stories #i want to feel like the writer knows what theyre talking about you know? #you know that feeling #anyway #you get what im saying #the secret good doctor who that lives in my head man #except. it doesnt live in my head. bc it lives in many otherp eoples head. by definition #but sometimes i read like fic by friends who fucking Know things and im like damn #damn!!!!! doctor who could be so much better!!!!!! #i also think when youre a writer whos only a writer theres the risk of chasing your own tail a bit #in that th elonger youre a writer the more you only start writing about writing bc thats what you Know #i think thats a risk #also not a novel concept pretty sure professional writers are aware of that one gfhkjghgjg theyre not stupid

[sebek-zigbolt]

gueh, its all igni

#i #dont care #IDIA GOT 2 NEW ASSETS #pretends it doesnt bother me #for a guy who loves diasomnia i sure do hate A LOT of the choices in their chapter #hrmmmm #bothers me how technology beating magic is such a.. central theme of twst #like... why would i care... its a magic academy... obv u like magic if u like the games aesthetics and like... STORY idk #maybe i just hate everything igni stands for #and esp orthos AI ass #Whatevr theres no silver or sebek to keep my attention so im barely paying attention until malleus appears #Magic is like #part of u and nature and life esp for diasomnia and their fae ass #no the shota robot will beat the dragon FUCK OFFFFFF #Waits for my twst fan card to b revocked for who I hate #like if u wanted sth abt how its human to die and u cant live eternally and its ok to grieve but Humanity/Reality is good regardless #Ai is not... a good narrative choice for that #and like ikk magic is kinda innate but also they just had to make it a SKILL you TRAIN so it just gives... my ai can beat ur skill ^_^ #throws up #I wanttt more malleuss #I love how evil he is and talks slowly but lets actuallyyy focus on him and his themes maybe next time #ON ONE HAND #i want more sebek content #on the other? I think we have had enough character assassination last chs so im ok ^_^ #yea you go get the malleus egg its not like im insane abt malleus more than any other person or anything #ill just stand here when shit goes down🧍 #I feel so loved and appreciated #im not desperate for it #and I have so much emotional intelligence ^_^ #gurl

[kalmeria]

sophia and neo navigation cards. if you care

#!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #sophia’s neo plushies and the little alien and cryptid decoration!!!! #and then all the spotlights around neo #ughhh i love navi cards they are always so fun and like they barely had anything to work with here bc they are both so new characters #but i like how they turned out #idk #d4dj #abyssmare #and heres the thing. both of these could work with my current theme colors #imo

[7roaches]

yayyyyyyy new pfp yayyy

#my art #art #my sona #trans #lesbian #peep the new blog theme + new name + new blog name #this is the first time ive ever like. rendered like this and i think it turned out pretty good #also my blog bio is being fucky on my screen so lmk if its fucky for u guys too #super proud of this #click for better quality idk why timblr fucked it

[seagull-scribbles]

Two Bros chillin’ on a rooftop, 5ft apart 'cause they're not gay 👀

#tmnt 2007 #tmnt #casey jones #raphael #raphael hamato #Raphael 2007 #nightwatcher #honestly obsessed with their dynamic in this movie #also I haven’t looked into it but in my head raph is 19 and Casey is 22/23 #I love the scenes of these guys in the movie #I love them in the deleted scenes #I love the idea that everyone grows up into different things but these guys still sneak out at night like teenagers to punch peoples faces #I love how they are both convinced the other is their sidekick #I love raph having a motorcycle and giving it to Casey #I love that they both wear masks but Casey still shouts ITS CASEY JONES for no reason #I love how they talk only when it’s stupid too #and I love how they’re both legit just married to New York #raph is so dysphoric and one of his common themes is hating being trapped but in this movie he admits he’d not change his life either #idk I like that yeah it sucks he doesn’t speak to him family he’s shut himself off but he still can spend night times with Casey #and with all the pressure in society to grow up Casey still can sneak out to vent to raph #idk I get really upset I’m 25 and still doing the same things I did 16yr ago but this film was like therapeutic that that isn’t bad #aaahhh #also shoutout to rena for talking to me about these guys from that ninja turtle movie #I’ll stop rambling I haven’t even spoken about this piece I’m so sorry #i will quickly say my last raph was all scraped and bruised but i think bevayse the armour this one gets away without those marks #and i have decided all raphaels have sharp teeth where his brothers dont :) hes my baby girl i can do what i want #rasey #raph x casey #i cant believe i drew ship art and forgot to tag the ship

[lazarish]

You're Dead To Me

I'm not somebody you know

#ts4 #ts4 edit #sims edit #berry sweet sims #new blog theme bc all my blogs have to be pink #dont get attached to the icon idk if i like it yet #especially since apparently tumblr doesnt WANT PEOPLE SEEING ICONS NOW

[miatartistry]

Had a dream last night that Will’s new hair was bleached blond and the bleach was botched so it was all fried and shit. And I wasn’t surprised because before his actual hair reveal I was so convinced they’d ruin it.

#no but it was horrible #sticking every which way #AND I THINK THE REASON WHY WAS BC HIS NEW THEME WAS “VISIBILITY” #SO HE WANTED TO STAND OUT #WHICH IS NOT WILL AT ALL IDK WHERE MY BRAIN GOT THAT FROM #and ofc Michael was like wtaf #me too Mike me too #byler #will byers #mike wheeler

[shima-draws]

Constantly caught in between the mindset of “I need to find a unique yet uniform thing to do with my art and stick with it so that it’s recognizable and brandable” or “Do whatever the hell you want who cares if your art isn’t a picturesque Instagram gallery when it’s all lined up”

#Shima speaks #Idk. IDK. I really think IG is poisining my brain #Bc I follow all these popular artists that stick to the same formula. Same 'type' of art #And everything looks so neat and tidy and uniform and pretty on their pages #And I get sooooo jealous bc mine is just. All over the palce #*place #I feel like even my art isn't. Hmm what's the word I'm looking for here. #Similar?? Themed?? #SIGHS obviously yeah there's things about my art that stay consistent. THAT is the word. Consistent #But idk…… #What I’m trying to say is that I’m at a place where I’m not entirely comfortable with my art #I want to do smth new. But I also don’t want to stray TOO far from what is truly my style #It’s 2023 Shima you shouldn’t be feeling this inadequate about your art. HUFFS #I just feel like I’ve hit a wall. I want to learn more. I need to take a class or smth. LOL #I feel like my art has stagnated!! Like I’ve only improved ever so slightly #When I want to see progress in leaps and bounds. It’s frustrating 😔

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

my uni literary journal is accepting submissions 👀 do i do it

#i've thought about it before but they usually have themes and i didn't have anything that fitted #but this one doesn't #urgh #i kind of don't want anyone ever reading my poetry ever #but like. what if it's good.... what if it's good and i treat it like some shameful little thing #but what if it's not and i get rejected lmao idk if i can deal with that #i also haven't written a poem in forever and it kind of feels like cheating to submit a really old one #should i try writing a new one and see how it is? #hmmmm #🧃