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hellyeahbakubby · 4 years

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“how they hint that they’re in the ~mood~” | bnha

♔ - headcanons how a few of the bnha boys let you know that they’re in the mood. pairings - dabi x reader, aizawa x reader, todoroki x reader, chisaki x reader, bakugou x reader tags - NSFW HEADCANONS, mentions of sex, kisses, neck kisses, hORNY bois, swearing. [CHARACTERS AGED 18+] a/n - i’m not dead guys, i swear. and idk why THIS is what I’m writing but uh, here you go ig x also gonna start pre-writing things for our favourite october writing event ;) if ya know what I mean so perhaps maybe a little sprinkle of fluff or angst during that time. masterlist ▬ [ check out “how they hint that they’re in the ~mood~” for present mic here! ] WARNING: SLIGHT NSFW, nothing explicit or graphic but proceed responsibly if you are under the age of 16.

dabi ▪︎ ✝️

Any other day Dabi is a cocky lil shit, always teasing you, making sure to push all your buttons, giving you that shit-eating grin, but when he’s in the mood it’s suddenly much more direct, much more purposeful,

He’s not longer only looking for a reaction, he’s on a mission and one way or another he’ll get what he wants,

Expect to be be stalked through the hallways of the hideout, a cloaked mass never far behind. Expect him to come up behind you as you stand fixing a snack for yourself, his heavy breath blowing across your neck as he puts his hands on your waist, cooing something into your ear. Expect the amount of eye contact and physical affection to escalate,

However if you don’t catch on to his increased attention he’ll happily spell it out for you, a quick kiss or nib to the supple skin below your ear, a squeeze or smack to the ass followed by a lewd purr, a loud comment on how “fucking hot” you look or an innuendo tossed at you from across the room,

If you’re still oblivious to what he wants he’ll look you dead in the eyes and politely ask you ‘to help him out with something’ a hungry gleam in his shiny blue eyes, or he’ll just straight up as you to jump in his lap or suck his dick. He isn’t ashamed of what he wants by any stretch.

aizawa shouta ▪︎ 🌃

Shouta is far more subtle about showing what he wants, he tries not to be too direct and most of the time ends up letting you know through indirect subconscious actions he makes,

Although they aren’t rare, kisses with Shouta will become ten times more frequent, and more intense, a longer kiss on the cheek in passing (he’ll find as many excuses as possible to do this), more forceful ‘hello’ kiss on the lips, if he’s feeling really hot it may just so happen that his tongue slips its way past your lips as well,

He’ll also stand up straighter. His normally slouched shoulders will be replaced with almost perfect posture in an attempt to appear bigger, stronger, to catch your attention. Most of the time he doesn’t realises he’s doing it,

When he’s in the mood he’ll begin to get undressed ie. he’ll loosen or take off his tie if he’s wearing one, he’ll be quicker to lose his capture weapon, or he’ll change from his long-sleeved sweatsuit into a pair of tighter sweat pants and a well-fitting tee. Yet again another thing he’s not fully conscious of,

And finally the hair goes up, whether it’s a bun or just a simple ponytail, it means business. Unless, he’s sitting down to finish some paperwork, once it’s up you know exactly what’s about to go down. It’s begun to confuse him how you seem to know exactly when he’s in the mood seeing as he rarely tells you straight to your face,

BONUS: I also feel like Shouta is the type of person to have a set day or time to fool around planned in advance, taking into account when your schedules align and making sure both of you are properly prepared (also planning ahead gives more opportunity for less conventional.

todoroki shouto ▪︎ ☯️

Shouto tries to let you know directly, but for a while his signs are just a little too subtle for you to pick up on,

Bending down, he’ll nudge his head into shoulder, nuzzling you in a most affectionate manner. He’s all about letting you know through physical contact and while he is incredibly sexy, he’s not as smooth as some of the others. He might walk up behind you, slipping his hands around your waist but instead of whispering anything of the spicy nature he’ll just lightly hum against your neck, an occasional kiss or bite placed to your skin,

He’s very subtle, almost romantic about letting you know, his sweetness sometimes hiding his desire. “You smell wonderful, angel.” He’ll compliment you in the kindest way, supposedly trying to let you know how hot he is for you right now but unfortunately he also says the same things whenever he sees you,

One of the things he does which immediately lets you know what he wants is when he kisses you. Any other time a kiss with Shouto is romantic, a light peck on the lips, a couple of seconds or two long but when he’s in the mood shit gets real. You can feel the passion behind his lips and it’s sort of unnerving how hungry he gets to taste you. He could kiss you for hours and if you’ll allow him he’ll pull you into his lap as he kisses you like a man starved,

Finally he’ll run his fingers across your skin. Letting an infinitesimal amount of his power out. Whether it’s a sudden, unexpected heat of his left hand or the brutally icy touch of his right, he knows just how to set your body alight.

chisaki kai ▪︎ 🌇

This man doesn’t hint at anything. The moment Kai wants to do something it’s over for you,

It’s all in the eye contact. As soon as you walk into the room and your gaze meets his you know, whether that’s a good thing or not, you know. The hunger that lies beneath those shiny gold eyes is a tell-tale sign of what’s in store for you and you can’t help but squirm under his gaze

Kai doesn’t care who knows what he’s going to do to you, if anything he enjoys knowing his underlings are well aware of it, it ensures that they know why you belong to (as if he wasn’t overprotective and possessive already). But this means that if he’s feeling into the mood and there are others in the room, perhaps you’re even in the middle of a meeting, he’ll call you over with his steely gaze and a singular beckoning finger. He’ll sit you in his lap and he’ll have you sit there until either he can’t wait any longer or the meeting is over. He’s almost masochistic in the sense that he’ll stop himself from doing anything until he can’t physically control himself.

At which point he’ll throw everyone else out of the room and have you right there, with all of that built up tension.

Another way he’ll show you he’s in the mood, although this rarely happens, is by increased physical touch. Normally repulsed by unnecessary physical affection Kai with subconsciously tell you what he wants by holding your hand, or laying an arm around your shoulder or waist, even stroking your face or running a finger along your lips. This is only ever the times when he doesn’t realise he’s horny or doesn’t want to be because he’s concentration on something else. Although he does enjoy it, sex is far more like something that has to be done to Kai. Sure, he’ll make it a big deal and make sure he and you enjoy it to its full extent but it’s sort of like eating. Needs to be done, can be made more enjoyable by eating (or in this case doing) what you like, but it’s not special or precious in the way it is to others.

bakugou katsuki ▪︎ ✴

Although it isn’t exactly intentionally on his behalf, it’s the change in his demeanor that really lets you knows he’s down to fool around,

Say bye-bye to to “DIE!” and other assorted angry boy statements and say hello to surprisingly suave and smooth boom boom boy,

“Hmmm, princess, look at you.” Eyes flicking up and down you, words rolling off his tongue like honey. He has this unforeseen knack to make you weak at the knees whenever he wants to. It’s like a switch has been flipped. Sure, you find him attractive as hell any other day and he damn well knows it but when he wants to, everything gets serious and that includes his attitude. He’s on a mission now and hoo, boy is he going to achieve it.

However because of the number of times Katsuki and you are beckoned to have dinner with, or go out for a drink with the Bakusquad there is no doubt there have been times Katsuki has been in the mood and you’ve been out and about.

Katsuki is rather private and he is all in favour of keeping everything that goes on between the two of you a secret. But in the instance that you’re out for a drink or whatever and he’s ready to go (in more way than one) he’ll happily be a little more frisky to get your attention. Whether that’s a hand on your thigh, a tighter grip on your waist as he comes up behind you, a soft nib to your earlobe, whatever. So long as you know what he’s trying to say and know that the sooner you leave the better.

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roger-that-cap · 3 years

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wildest dreams

witch!wanda x reincarnated!reader

summary: wanda had walked around the earth for centuries with no magic and hardly any soul left after losing her soulmate. she thought that her lover would never return and that the only reunion they would have would be in the afterlife, but a run-in with bucky changes everything after he insists that he met the long gone y/n at a fountain in the park.

yet another au by me...

word count: around 6.5k?

imma tag one person bc she gets upset when she isn’t tagged- and idk if anyone else would actually be interested?

@teenwonder

also this picture is not mine, and the dividers are by @firefly-graphics !!

without further ado, it’s almost 6 in the morning but i give you this!!

She held you tight, fingers digging into your skin as she trembled above you. The rose bushes were rustling in the wind next to you both, the sweet smell of the flowers contrasting with the moment. You were halfway gone already, eyes far off but trying to swim back to the surface, wanting to look at her one last time before the inevitable happened.

“S…” you tried to say, but she hushed you immediately, tears falling down on your face and mixing with your own. You shook her head at her as hard as you could, begging for her to let you continue. “Say you’ll remember me,” you ground out, fingers tightening around her hand.

“What?” Wanda asked, voice already thick with grief as she tried to decide whether or not it was better to keep the knife lodged between your ribs inside of you.

“When I come back-” you cut yourself off by coughing up blood, and Wanda didn’t even wince when it splattered on her cheek. “Back for you, promise that you’ll remember me.”

“Darling,” Wanda whispered back, her voice cracking as she bent over and rested her head on your stomach for a moment, hiding her sob. She could feel her magic tingling inside of her; under her skin, in her bones, dancing on her fingertips. “I wish I knew- I wish I just knew how-”

“Please.” You said, a desperate look in your eyes as you halted her words, already knowing what Wanda wanted. But natural magic was nothing to mess with. She sobbed again with her lips pressed together, no sound escaping her. You squeezed her hand tighter as the sun started on its routine descent, basking the two of you in an orange glow that you would have stopped to admire in any other moment in time. But Wanda would grow to hate that shade of orange with every breath in her. “Please.” It would always remind her of the sound of your begging, voice reaching for something that she couldn’t see.

Maybe it was the desperation in your voice, or the way that she just knew that you were well within your last moments, because she looked up at you one last time. “Of course I’ll remember you, darling. I couldn’t even dream of forgetting you.” There was a wheezing sound that came from your chest as you cracked a bloody smile, and then you gave one last squeeze before you looked away from her, your soul settling in the afterlife.

Wanda Maximoff would never forget it. Suddenly, her previously irrational fear of losing her magic became real, but that feeling didn’t even come close to the one she got when you grew lifeless in her arms.

Ever since you knew what a normal person was supposed to be like, you had identified that you, in fact, were not the normal person that you were probably supposed to be. Normal people didn’t daydream to the point where it felt like their bodies weren’t in the present anymore. Normal people didn’t have birthmarks under their ribs that aced and burned. Normal people didn’t feel out of touch with their world, like they weren’t even meant to be in the century they were in. Normal people didn’t feel like they were searching for something tirelessly, something just under their noses. And normal people surely didn’t dream of the same set of hands, same pair of eyes, or the same voice over and over again, a new setting every time, but always the same, faceless person. You either drew the same faceless person or rose bushes, and every sketch book you ever had was full of them.

At first, you were sure that you were going insane. Every time you closed your eyes, you would see a flash of reddish brown hair, or the same set of eyes, or the same pair of pale hands. You kept seeing this person without ever seeing a face for nights at a time before you went to see a therapist, who just ended up telling you that worrying about it was only going to make it worse, whatever it even was. But eventually, you learned to get used to it.

Acceptance turned into expectancy. You went to sleep knowing that there was going to be a pair of hands accompanied by the same slender fingers as always before you, sometimes intertwined with your own. You knew that there was going to be a set of eyes on you, watching you intently with no ace to go with them. You knew that you would hear whispers of the same voice, speaking so clearly in a language you didn’t even come close to understanding, and soon, you were craving to see and hear those things. And wanting to see them led to something that you never told your therapist; drawings.

You drew nearly every day under the sky, trying to find different park benches to see the sun rise and set at different angles for inspiration. You loved the sky, moon and stars alike, but there was something special about sunrises and sunsets. Sunrises and sets both meant new beginnings to you, out with the old and in with the new, and each rise and fall filled you with a strange feeling of nostalgia. You were watching the sunset on a park bench by yourself, a sketchbook sitting on your lap as you held an idle pencil, still thinking about the way you wanted to draw the hands. The birthmark between your ribs started to tingle, letting you know that it was about to burn again. That damn birthmark. You dropped the pencil and scratched at it, trying to beat the annoying feeling at its own game. You cursed the mark, but your eyes didn’t leave the sky, and you noticed your heart swelling in your chest, faint despair in the pits of it, churning around like the middle of the deep sea.

You shook your head and put your pencil in your hand again, brain not even having to work hard at all to see the features of the faceless person who was in your every dream.

Even before she ever met you, Wanda didn’t sleep well. She would toss and turn for at least an hour before she finally found some temporary, flimsy form of peace. Her sleep was always light and she hardly ever had dreams, which was customary for a woman like her at the time- an un-blossomed witch.

It was hard for her to remember the time where she didn’t have magic, but that time certainly existed. It lasted nearly thirty years. She never aged a day past twenty one, time moving past her without a care in the world. She was stuck right there, no magic except for the little bit in her bones that was keeping her young. And then she met you.

You were the person that kicked her magic into gear. You were her kindred soul, her other half and the power to her magic. Meeting you had flung her right into the world of magic and spells, things that she only watched others do, but even as she was introduced to an entirely different world, she could remember only really wanting you. Her heart and soul called to you far louder and stronger than spells called to her eager mind. When she met you, it all fell into place. It was an easy love, one that was never going to be disputed or questioned, and loved it. She was prepared to move heaven, earth, and the gods for you, if she had to. Your arrival into her life had caused her to finally blossom.

But now, she had bloomed and flourished and wilted all the same, and she was just waiting to decompose.

“Have hope,” was all that Bucky, a warlock who had been tortured enough in his own way, would tell her. “Have hope that something good will come to you, and it will.”

She never had the heart to tell him that good things hardly came to those who waited. He himself was a product of waiting, and it had served him well. Before he met his other half, he was taken by a rival clan and experimented on with spells that were so far past illegal that they made the casual witch shudder. Eventually, he was broken out and the rival clan was defeated, but he returned to them as an empty shell of a man. But then, Steve came, and then the man was nothing but a ball of light. His magic grew to be strong and so did Steve’s, and together they became known as some of the strongest practitioners of magic in the world.

But what did Wanda have to hope for when you were gone? What did she have to wake up for and smile at when she knew that she had buried you hundreds of years ago? It wasn’t even about the magic. She couldn’t care less about the way she felt the energy leave her- and it was dramatic- leaving in a singular burst of light the second you left. She only knew that you were gone, and that was the only thing that mattered, and it seemed to be the only thing that she even really felt.

Well, she did feel one other thing. Exhaustion. Exhaustion caused by the lack of you by her side. And exhaustion was exactly why she assumed that she was hallucinating when she felt a small tug at her heart, in a part of her brain that had been dormant for years and years. She shook her head and tried to take her thoughts away from you and the nagging feeling in her gut.

“Oh, no…” you exclaimed, voice tapering out into a whine as you watched the ruined paper sink deeper and deeper into the fountain, a fist clenching at your side in disappointment when you realized how many hours were lost, just like that, and then even tighter when you realized that part of you wasn’t even truly upset about the time spent on the ruined art. You were mostly upset that you lost the only vision of the hands that you had during the daytime.

You were on your knees, sleeves still all the way down as you reached into the water frantically, causing the paper to move even further away. You weren’t even worried about your sketchbook that had fallen open onto the pavement, more focused on the rapidly deteriorating piece of paper. You hardly even noticed the man who knocked into you talking, trying his hardest to make the situation better. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?”

“I mean,” you breathed out, taking the nearly disintegrated paper from the water and grimacing. When you realized that the man was fumbling to say something from behind you, celery apprehensive over the fact that you were upset, you took a short breath and turned around, giving him a small smile. He had dark brown hair that was cut short and crystal blue eyes that were striking, but you knew that they held thousands of stories by looking just once. He was holding your sketchbook, and by the way he was gripping it tightly, you could tell that he had flipped through it for a second. “It’s just a drawing. I guess I can make another one.”

His eyes widened. You saw his jaw slacken and his neck stretch out, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He blinked three times, and his parted lips trembled for a second before he slammed them shut. You cocked a brow at him, your sadness about losing the drawing being replaced by a weak feeling of uneasiness. “Sir?”

“Knew it.” His face was clear from any type of emotion as he watched yours, and when you opened your mouth to ask him if he was okay, a grin spread across his face. “I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” You furrowed your brows at him, asking what the hell had just occurred without saying a single word. “I’m sorry, you just looked really familiar.”

Just like that, you smiled. You knew that feeling, you felt like you got deja vu far too often to be normal. You hated when people made you feel strange for it, you always had, so you tried your best to ignore it with him. “You’re fine, don’t worry. I’m Y/N.” You extended your dry hand for him to shake it. He stared at it for a moment, and then with an eagerness that made you smile, he shook your hand.

“‘I’m Bucky.”

For a moment, you could have sworn that you had done more tha just seen him before. Could have sworn that you had shaken his hand, met him before, been at the receiving end of his blinding yet somewhat shy smile. It flashed through you warm and bright, and you cleared your throat before pulling your hand away and realizing you had held it for too long. You cleared it again when you saw something flash in his eyes, a weak smile lifting on your lips.

“It’s not her.”

Wanda was furious. She was insulted more than anything, really, angry that Bucky could even mistake the light of you for someone else. She knew that you would never grace the earth with your presence again, and she was so used to the fact that she was going to have to die before seeing you again. And for one of her closest friends to try to convince her that you were back?

“She would have already found me.” And Wanda believed that with her whole heart. You had asked her so long ago that you remember her, like she could ever forget. Your scent was so flowery that whenever she walked past a growing garden that she smelled you, your smile was so bright that she saw it in the way the rays of sun came down on the earth. She heard your laugh in the chirping of the birds every morning, and she saw your playfulness in the running waters of the stream by the cabin. She could never forget you, because everything was traced back to you. And you would never return without finding her.

“I don’t think she even knows it yet, but she is looking for you.” Bucky insisted, stepping forward and receiving Wanda’s burning glare while Steve stepped to the side and let it happen. “I bumped into her and she dropped her sketchbook. I saw her drawings- she drew your eyes.”

Wanda’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“She dropped the drawing of hands in the water, but I saw she had drawn eyes that looked just like yours, hair the same shade as yours, even drawn the necklace you used to wear. She draws roses, too. I swear to everything above, it’s her.”

She could feel herself getting warm, the sort of emotions stirring inside of her that had the potential to turn into a singular weapon. The thought of a rose bush made her sick to her stomach. “It’s not her.”

“You forget that I knew her, too,” Bucky stated, and Wanda’s desolation was replaced by some ancient feeling of possessiveness. “I could never forget her face, and that was it right there. That was her face, without a shadow of a doubt, And her voice-”

Wanda’s face curled into a snarl. “Stop talking about her.”

“Hey, Wanda, take a deep breath,” Steve cut in, ever the mediator, but Bucky was hardheaded. If he thought something needed to happen, he was the one to push for it to happen, and he needed her to see.

“She looks the same as she did the day she left.” Wanda let out a choked noise. For a second, all she could picture was her lover dying by the blooming rose bushes in the sunset, ruining two of the most beautiful things in life at once. The third (but first) was you, but not even your horrible death could taint Wanda’s memory of you. You would forever be the brightest and most beautiful thing to grace the earth. “I got her number, we’re meeting at a coffee shop a few blocks away.”

“Leave her alone.” Wanda said through gritted teeth, tears welling up in her eyes. When she saw the brunet’s eyes widen and his mouth drop open, she spoke before he could get a word in. “Just stay away from her, Bucky.”

All she could think about was your death. The way you choked on your own blood. The way you cried and looked up at her, but still managed to smile. And as she was consumed by rage and memories, the only other thought in her mind was that she was yours and you were here, and that she couldn’t save you then. But she was surely going to preserve your memory from Bucky’s mouth.

“I know you feel it coming back. You haven’t felt it in so long, but it’s warm, right? It’s powerful. You always were the strongest, and you’re not dormant any longer. Stop lying to yourself and depriving yourself of love, Wanda. You know Y/N-”

She saw red. Red as red as the fires that burned in the magma underneath the ground, as red as embers in a fire. “You don’t get to say her name.” She saw so much red, so much hot anger that hardly covered her sadness, that she didn’t even see the way that she had her hand out red coming from her palm as she lifted Bucky right off of the wooden floor of their shared home. “You don’t get to talk about her.” There was a warbling noise in her ears, whispers that sounded like her name, getting louder and louder until she finally realized it was Steve trying to get her attention.

“Wanda.”

Instantly, she dropped her arm and watched Bucky fall to the ground, landing in a crouched position. She watched him catch his breath on the ground. She opened her mouth to apologize, to say that she felt terrible and that she had no idea what happened, what took over her, but she was stopped by the brilliant smile that came onto Bucky’s face.

“You used magic.” He said, slowly and steadily, not a hint of hesitance or animosity in his eyes or voice. Instead, he seemed more proud than anything. “You can’t deny this now, Wanda.”

She was hyperventilating, the pain in her chest intensifying as she tried without any results to get the right amount of air in her lungs. She felt her knees hit the ground before she knew that she did, her hands covering her face as she sobbed into herself. Her heart ached, tugging in so many different directions as her brain fought to rationalize what everything meant. She had used magic, and that meant that you were back, in one way or another. She was in disbelief. She was in despair. She was in shock.

“I know you do, I know you do,” It was Steve’s arms around her, and Steve’s voice in her ear, and she realized that she had been saying I miss her, I miss her, over and over again until the words jumbled. “We know you do, Wanda. We miss her too.”

But he didn’t understand. He hadn’t lost Bucky since he had found him. He hadn’t walked the earth for centuries after losing the only thing that mattered to him as an empty shell of the person he used to be. He would never understand, but that wasn’t his fault. In fact, she prayed that he would never understand.

“I’m sorry I approached you like that,” Bucky said, crouching down and hugging her just as Steve was, enclosing her into a hugging circle. They were coven, related by magic, and just being around them made her tears subside. “But you know that I would have never said anything like that unless I was one thousand percent sure. I would never do anything to hurt you, Wanda. All I want is for you to be happy. And I know that I found her.”

And how could he want anything but the best for her? He knew her just as much as Steve did. Just as much as she probably knew herself. He and Steve were the ones who stormed the coven that took you from her by her side, and they were the ones that helped her send them to their graves. They supported her through thick and thin, through revenge and peace, and mostly, they loved you almost as much as she did. Why would Bucky lie?

Wanda blinked, staring down at her hands in fear and wonder as her heart beat started to get away from her. Steve’s warm hand landed on her shoulder, and she flinched from the sudden touch after such a rush of power.

“I think you should go with him, Wanda.” Her heavy breathing was all that filled the air for a moment. “Just take a look at her from outside so you can leave if he was wrong without anyone knowing, but you should at least try. I think Buck’s right.”

Wanda’s breaths were still labored. Her hands trembled as she moved hair from her eyes, and her lip quivered before she found the strength to mutter a few words. “Will she- will she remember?”

“I think she will,” Steve said softly. “But she’s probably just a human. It may take more than just seeing you for her to remember everything.”

Her eyes were wet with tears, and her heart was so big with warmth and need that she was scared that it would burst open at the seams. But she was even more terrified to lose the idea of you. Slowly and shakily, she nodded, her head bobbing up and down as she sealed her own fate. “I’ll go.” She saw Steve give her his fatherly and supportive smile, small yet full. “I’ll see her.”

You didn’t know how you were gently swindled into giving Bucky your number. You knew that it was nothing but friendly, but he was so charming that you felt like you could never not know him. In fact, it felt like you already did know him. He said something about maybe commissioning an artwork of yours, and of course that excited you. You were going to meet him at a coffee shop, in a public place even though you weren’t the slightest bit afraid of him. But something felt different.

It started once you got into your car. You were driving to get to the shop when tingles came down your spine, and bumps raised on your arms, like someone was whispering against your skin. You started to feel warmth come and go in waves, brushing against your mind and then retreating again. You shook off all of the strong feelings as you turned your car off, parked in front of the coffee shop while the music from your speakers filled the silence, soft piano music that was perfect for the weather.

It was drizzling, the kind of weather that you liked to call a “lover’s drizzle” because of how often it was seen in romantic scenes. Scenes of confession, of reunion, of desperation between two lovers- more often than not, they had the mild rain to stand in. You turned the music down before shutting your car off and then stepping out, closing the door and locking it immediately before walking briskly to the entrance of the coffee shop with your recent drawings in hand.

Bucky wasn’t there when you arrived. In fact, hardly anyone was there besides the few employees, who smiled at you when you entered but otherwise fell back into conversation amongst themselves, which was fine with you. There was one beefy blonde man who was sitting with a laptop and a ball cap on. He glanced up for a moment and then took a double take, blinking hard at you with a star struck look on his face, and then he shot his gaze back down and went back to typing.

You sat down at a table for two, the only type of table that was there besides the long, awkward study tables that they had set up in the center of the room. You would much rather take the intimate setting of a two-seater than to sit in the middle of the shop, so you did just that. You flipped through your work, looking at it closely now that you had the time. He had mentioned something about possible portrait work for a friend of his, so you naturally brought most of the drawings that you had done with hands, arms, eyes, hair, nearly everything that was the closest to your heart. You rested your palm on top of them and watched your fingers trace the slender ones that you had drawn in what felt like by memory at the time, like you were just remembering the way an old friend’s hands used to look. You peeled that one back and looked into the eyes, the strangest and prettiest light green color that made your heart pound every time you looked at it. You took a deep breath in.

“That’s gorgeous.” You jumped in your seat as the chair in front of you pulled out from under the table, and there was the charming brunet that you had met by the fountain, giving you the same welcoming smile that he first granted you. You smiled back without hesitation, your heart warming at the sight. “You sure can draw.”

“I try,” you joked, your grin nearly splitting your face. “Do you drink coffee?”

“Nah,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I like tea, though.” You gave him a thoughtful look.

“Are you into herbal healing?”

You could have sworn that there was some sort of excitement in his eyes, but you weren’t sure enough by the time he opened his mouth again. “Yes, actually! What, does it look like I’m into it?”

“No,” you answered, and it was true. Bucky was huge. He had the kind of build that intimidated other guys at the gym, the kind that made athletes jealous. He looked like the typical meathead, but he was sweeter than you could have imagined. But he looked nothing like a man who would be into herbal healing. “Just a guess.”

“Pretty good guess,” he mused, and you grinned back. Your head was in the clouds of some strange deja vu when he asked you if you wanted something, and the entire exchange of whether or not you were going to pay was on the back burner as you sifted through your thoughts. By the time he came back, you noticed that you must have told him that you liked hot chocolate, and that he must have paid. You scolded him before he sat back down, waving you off. It was silent for a few moments as you looked out of the window, the rain still steadily working through the atmosphere. The cup was comfortingly warm.

“Can I ask you something?”

With any other man, you would have immediately told him no, or at least have your guard up. But there was just something deep down, so buried that it was faint, but it was there, that told you that he was nowhere even close to being a threat. “Yes.”

He nodded, taking a sip of his tea and then putting his cup down gently before giving you an intense look. “Who’s the girl?”

You frowned. “What girl?”

He raised a singular brow. “The one you draw.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. You blinked twice, and then tilted your head to the side. “I don’t draw just one person,” you said slowly, the lie dragging its way out of your mouth and through your teeth. “They’re different people.”

“Oh,” he said, but the smirk on his face told you that he knew you were lying to him and to yourself. You sipped your drink and something tugged at you, telling you to look out of the window and into the rain again, just one more time before you spilled your guts about seeing things- and then something caught your eye. A flash of a familiar reddish-brown. You turned your full body to look that way, and once you did, you nearly dropped your cup.

There was a woman staring back at you, eyes wide and full of so much emotion that the artist in you wanted to rush to make an unworthy attempt at capturing it. Her lips were parted in pure shock, but you were watching them tremble even from far away. She was getting slightly damp in the rain, but she stood there like it didn’t even matter, just locking eyes with you and sending your heart rate through the roof. When your eyes finally came back to hers after looking at her for what felt like the quickest eternity, you gasped. You knew those eyes.

If you weren’t so deep into gazing at the woman stuck behind the glass, you would have noticed the pleased and content look on Bucky’s face, and the look that he gave the big blond sitting with a ball cap on all by himself. You would have noticed the way that the blond man was turning his body towards your table, watching with the same amount of anticipation as Bucky was. You tried to understand why she looked so familiar, why she was scratching the part of your brain that always tried to convince you that you were much older than twenty something- and then it hit you.

You had been drawing this woman. And you had been thinking about her ever since you knew how to think. It was just the first time you were ever seeing the full picture. “I-” you muttered, eyes stuck on her and the way she looked like she was about to topple over from emotions. The words got stuck in your own throat as you weakly tried to get your mind to take you back to the conversation. “I- excuse me. I have to- I’ll be back- excuse me.” Your chair made a loud noise as you stood from the table in a haste, pushing the door open and walking towards the woman who was still standing on the sidewalk, dumbstruck.

Before you even knew you were outside and into the rain, you were standing not even four steps away from the woman, who was now looking at you with an incomprehensible look on her face. You couldn’t even feel the rain on you. All you could feel was her gaze and the warmth that was settling in your stomach and chest, and the same intense familiarity that was hitting you when you looked at Bucky. But it was so much stronger.

“I-” you frowned, taking a step closer and resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. “Do I know you? Have we met?” You had to have met. You had seen her in your sleep, in your daydreams, in your sketchbook. And still, you never could have imagined how beautiful she was.

She was silent.

“I know this is random and that I just bum rushed you, but, did we go to school together or something?” You were embarrassed. You had never begged someone to remember you before, but this woman was different. She hadn’t said a word to you, and you didn’t even know her name, but you were enraptured. You swore you knew her. You swore you saw her eyes glaze over for a second.

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Her voice struck something familiar in your chest, something warm and comforting. It was so familiar, so far back in your memory that it felt like home. Her accent, her inflection, the way she spoke slowly yet deliberately. It was all there in your mind, but you just couldn’t figure out how you knew it so well. “You don’t remember who I am?”

That had you closing your mouth. You tilted your head to the side at what could have been a hostile question, but her tone made it sad. Did you forget a high school friend? “Oh, um, I know you from somewhere, but I can’t really-”

“Think.” The desperation in her voice made your knees shake. If she were anyone else, you would have told her to go away, but you couldn’t. You didn’t want her to go away. But you couldn’t quite place her either, even though your own heart was screaming at you to remember.

“I’m sorry,” you said, a hurt expression on your face. You braved yourself to leave, taking a deep breath and giving her a weak smile that embarrassed you even further. “This was weird of me. I’ll just-”

She was reaching for you. Time started to run slower as her pale arm extended towards you, long fingers that you had committed to memory and to paper a thousand times outstretched. Your mouth dropped open ever so slightly as you stood in place for a second, body still until you subconsciously leaned forward, your nerves buzzing under your skin.

For a second, the only thing you could do was look at the point where her skin touched yours.

You had seen magic before. You had seen it in movies and at theme parks and when miracles happened, but nothing ever like when her skin touched yours. You swore that the warmth that your body had been feeling kicked in even stronger, surrounding you in comfort. Her hand was wrapped around your arm, gentle yet begging, firm yet wishing all the same for something you couldn’t quite see yet. You looked up and into her eyes, the eyes you had drawn and seen so many times, and then you saw it.

You saw it in more than flashes. They were coming in at the speed of light, but somehow you were able to catch every moment and every feeling that came along. You heard her voice as clear as day, ringing with laughter. You saw the two of you attempting to skip stones. You saw her enchanting your stones behind your back to make you think you had actually done it. You saw her mouth brushing over your cheeks, your mouth, your forehead. You could feel her hands on you, holding you, protecting you, cherishing you all the same. You could remember the way that you felt when you saw her standing in traditional witch’s clothing, being inducted into her coven as a blossomed witch. You saw everything and nothing, and you remembered it all.

Wanda.

A strangled sound escaped your body, so feral that it scared you, but you didn’t care. You pulled her forward, your head clashing against her chest. You could feel her shaking, like she wanted nothing more than to hold you just as tightly, but she was hesitating. “Wanda,” you called out, hugging her tighter, and then, like something in the universe stretched too far and then snapped right back into place, she was returning the embrace.

“I thought I had lost you forever,” she said, her voice hollow yet so full, so expressive. “I lost you, darling.”

The memories were all there, like all it took was a touch, but you were still coping with the knowledge. You had been murdered. Murdered by witch hunters, way back when witches were known and feared. That had to have been hundreds of years ago, you knew it. But still, your focus was on Wanda. It always would be on Wanda, forever and always. Just like hers was on you.

“You didn’t,” you managed to say, your own voice thick with emotion as you buried your face into her neck, finally feeling the texture of the hair that you tried so hard to get right. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, suddenly sobbing in your arms. You had no idea how you weren’t being interrupted in the crowded streets, but when you took a look back inside of the cafe to see the men who you so clearly remembered as Steve and Bucky, you knew it had something to do with them and their fulfilled smiles. “I wasn’t able to save you. I let you die, and I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.”

Her words brought you back to the present. “Wanda, no. No, no, no.” You wanted to pull away and look at her face, but the second you started to, she held onto you even tighter. You leaned your head back onto her chest. “It wasn’t your fault. There was no way any of us could have known, and no way that you could have saved me. It was beyond us.”

“Nothing should have ever been beyond us.” She argued softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“But it was,” you said. “And now it’s behind us. Don’t apologize, Wanda.” You wiggled around and got free enough to look up at her teary face. “I may not have recognized you, but now that I do, I can’t believe that I ever forgot you.”

“A new life will do that to you.”

“Is it really a new life if I remember everything?” You said softly, the rain long gone as you stood with each other, bodies nearly molded together with how close you were.

She pulled away to look down at you, her eyes and overall expression tense, and then there was a look that you recognized from a long time ago. It was a look of sweet desire. You closed the cap between the two of you, pressing your lips to hers in a way that proved that you were both two lost souls who had wandered their way back to their other halves.

“It can be whatever you want it to be, darling.” Her lips brushed your again, soft and tender and eager for more touch. “As long as you let me be in it.”

#wanda x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #my fics #witch!wanda #marvel au #witch!au #scarlet witch #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #no idea what to tag this-#wanda x you #lgbt marvel #lgbt

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idk-my-aesthetic · 3 years

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Ok the whole thing w/ clogging up ao3 tags is stupid for multiple reasons, like how it fucks with screen readers for one, but the MAJOR issue is that having too many tags isn’t actually a problem w/ ao3

Like seriously guys? There is a lot to criticize. And I say this as someone who heavily relied on fandom spaces to get me through some really really hard times and still loves ao3. I can say I love what it does for fandom while also acknowledging there’s some seriously fucked up shit going on both behind the scenes and with ppl who use the site. It’s literally like saying “I love tumblr but I acknowledge there are literal nazis on here and as a Jew/human with a working brain I hate them and that they’ve been here so long”

Like. I get u think ur sticking it to the man or whatever. And idk I partially agree bc. There’s so much nasty shit and some technically illegal shit that I don’t want to even mention! But ur not even wasting the moderators time or anything ur just being obnoxious and then everyone starts discoursing on tumblr and I’m legitimately tired of it. I don’t wanna see ppl defending gross stuff and I’m tired of talking about the ppl who do defend gross stuff bc I don’t wanna remember that they exist bc I have shit to do irl and not enough space in my brain for them

So. Idk ima propose at least a temporary solution before I have to hear one more argument for or against censorship bc y’all seriously don’t understand how to have a nuanced conversation

How about instead of asking AO3 to take down gross fics (which may or may not be morally correct but will 100% reopen a very over done conversation) instead we ask for some specific plausible things

1) when you use ao3 explicit and unrated fics are automatically filtered out. They do this on ff.net. Yes it may be like 2 extra clicks for ppl who wanna read explicit stuff but ppl who don’t are going to do that anyway, and it protects the people who don’t know to do that and don’t want to read graphic tags. Most importantly it requires consent to browse explicit fics. Yeah you need to give consent to read explicit stuff, but you can look through the incredibly graphic tags/summaries without consenting to anything. It’s literally the default. Which is both upsetting to ppl who don’t wanna see that and also maybe a bit of a legal loophole they should close up

2) a “suggest tags” feature. This would be moderated by authors not ao3 staff. Basically ppl can like..... idk entire a series of tags and you can choose if you want to add them or not. The person submitting them has an option to be anonymous or not. Obviously the author doesn’t have to add every random tag and it might be annoying but it would help with making sure triggers got tagged. It would be helpful if it didn’t let you suggest tags that were already suggested/on the fic but I’m not too picky. Like I said the point of this is to make sure ppl can block stuff properly, and it honestly might also help authors with visibility bc like. Obviously you know the tags you use but you don’t know what tags other ppl look for. Again maybe it may be obnoxious with ppl having a lot of tags but people already have a lot of tags

3) a dispute rating button. Now before someone bitches at me that the ao3 moderators don’t have time to go through disputes- I know I already took that into consideration. Basically the idea is when you dispute the rating the site will ask you what rating you think it should be and anonymously log it. So if someone rated something M but you think it should be an E the site will log that and send a message to the author. The author has a choice if they actually want to listen to ppl and change the rating or not. They don’t actually have to listen to the ppl disputing the rating. Unless they get a certain amount of disputes. I was thinking maybe like 50 or so?* So if 50 ppl say “hey this really needs to have a different rating” then and only then would the moderators take a look at the fic. And the moderators would then figure out what the rating should be.

(*idk if 50 is the right #. I was thinking it should maybe work on like a percentage of your hits in the fic?)

3.5) have a sexual content marker. This is marked as 3.5 bc i feel like this idea if implemented would be misused. But yeah in theory you could just have a sexual content marker that could be clicked by the OP and then automatically filtered. Again you could use the system from #3 but again I feel like ppl would missuse it.

Anyway yeah. I wanted to give some viable solutions ppl on both sides might actually agree with. Like I get not wanting to make concessions with gross ppl, but it’s a lot faster so I’m ok with doing it for now while the rest of y’all continue to debate or w/e

Final note- please for the love of g-d learn how ratings work. Ask someone else’s opinion if you have too. I have seen so many explicit fics marked as mature or teen it’s a legitimate problem. I’ll give a quick rundown of what each rating means but pls guys

General- g- basically go by what you’d see in a Disney cartoon

Teen- pg/pg 13 - there are swears there’s violence, sex may be mentioned, you might call someone sexy or smthn idc, but no one is shown having sex or or discussing/thinking about it in detail

Mature- R - injuries/gore may be described with more detail. Uhh there could be some heavy making out and the characters might talk about sex or feeling sexually attracted to someone. But actual sex is not shown!! If you have to mention or refer to someone’s genetalia in any sexual way you should probably move it up to an E. Even if ur characters are fully clothed the entire time. Also If you’re talking about kinks outside of a quick joke or reference you should probably move it up to an E.

Explicit- NC 17- sexually explicit content. (You can put non-sexual violent stuff under here but most ppl leave it under mature)

TLDR/oversimplification(for the ratings) -

General: nothing sexual

Teen: implied sex

Mature: refrenced sex

Explicit: shown sex

General tldr:

Some criticisms of Ao3 are valid and needed, and some are just stupid and infuriating (specifically talking about the tag thing stop it’s annoying and ableist). There is constant arguments and drama surrounding those criticisms, and I decided to offer some solutions that actually have a chance at getting implemented, even if I would prefer a different option.

#ao3 #ao3 drama #ao3 tags #I’m really swinging a bat at a bees nest huh #shipping discourse #ao3 discourse #I don’t want anyone to come yell at me for either defending OR demonizing ao3 #please understand that I can have a nuanced opinion where I both love and greatly dislike it at the same time #also I’m tagging this with shipping discourse and shit but pls don’t bug me about that #literally all I have to say on it is a) don’t harass ppl b) don’t do gross shit c) if someone likes something harmless don’t be a d*ck #and d) u are not immune to criticism #if you get called out for being racist or gross you don’t get a get out of jail free card just bc we’re online #if you hand sew a nazi flag ppl are allowed to get mad even if it’s ur hobby #if you harass someone by mail your going to jail #don’t do shit online you wouldn’t do irl and expect 0 consequences #this is several bees nests and I am a coward so I’m posting this and immediately going to bed

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we-are-inevitable · 3 years

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modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.

#if u wanna be added to my tag list just let me know !!#newsies #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #javid #javey #newsies broadway #newsies musical #newsies fic #newsies fanfiction #newsies fanfic #livesies #toursies #jac writes #jac txt.

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angelicbrokenburd · 3 years

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Rules for Moblie: Under Read More because long.

Disclaimer

I do not own the rights to Starscream, the Transformers franchise, it's characters or it's lore. The rights belong to the lovely people at Hasbro. However: My portayal, headcanons and the such are my own! I also create my own icons and graphics (banners for pages, post and such) and ask you to DO NOT steal and claim them for your own.

Other Notes (idk what to call this part lol)

This blog is Completely headcanon based being there is no offical Transformers Prime Shattered Glass continuity. I take some inspration from the oringal G1 Shattered Glass comics but everything else is my own! While this blog is mostly Prime/Aligned, I may add/take some elements from a few other continuies such as G1, IDW and Animated.

Following

This is a side blog to @fatesyetunwritten, which plays as an OOC hub for the blogs connected to it. So obviously I cannot follow you with this blog but my main. Even though not necessary, I also recommend following my hub blog as well being that’s where most PSAs/OOC updates in regard to ALL my blogs will be posted. Personal blogs are free to follow, but I do ask you don’t comment/reblog/reply/etc to any IC threads or post. Same implies to post that say ”//DO NOT REBLOG” or -DO NOT REBLOG-” in the thread/tags. If any of these rules are broken I will block you! I won't even give you a second chance, you're out! If you are a personal and do have a sideblog, PLEASE contact me telling me so. I’m more than likely not going to know otherwise unless I followed you first and it’s noted. My IM/askbox is always open. If you need to contact me in anyway and (if we are mutuals) want to plot/scream about our muses/just talk/etc. Don’t feel shy to approach me. I love talking and meeting new friends.

Guidelines

I am selective and will only roleplay with mutuals. Just because you follow me doesn’t guarantee that I will back. I often look at the muse, content and mun beforehand before making up my decision in doing so. Do not force/guilt trip me into following you!! Putting aside it’s rude and selfish to do so, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!! Muse doesn't equal Mun and vice versa. This should be obvious but sometimes people do confuse fantasy and reality. Please don't confuse the two. No Godmodding! This is standard fare I don’t think I have to elaborate more on that. If possible Please trim your post. I won’t get up on anyone's case about it if you don’t, but it’s considerute to do so. Keeps the dash clean. Also transfer ask to a new thread if you wish to contiune it. Same reasons as above: Keeps things clean and orgainzed. Don’t worry about formatting/using icons in your post! Just because I like to time to time doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Write in whatever style that works for you. All I ask is that you use proper grammar and spelling, or at least enough for me to read your writing. I’m not perfect neither so don’t sweat it if you make a typo there and there.

Shipping and Relationships

Let’s get this out of the way:I’m a shameless shipping whore! I love shipping and building relationships. But I won't just jump onboard to a ship however Like most relationships, there needs to be Chemistry. If the two clash off each other well, we can discuss things further. Each ship (unless said otherwise) has it's own verse and not overlap with other ships... This doesn't just imply to romanatic ships! Friendships, kinships, hateships, YA name it!. As I said, I'm a ship whore. I’m also a fan of AUs! Give me some of those AUs bro!

Mature Content

Both me and my Muse are of age and won’t shy away from mature themes. All NSFW threads/ask/etc will be tagged as such, along with any triggers that need tagging. In worst cases, like a hard R (which is rare), I will put everything under a read more flither. Themes include, but not limited to: Violence, blood or/and gore, alcohol and drug use, depression/PTSD, abuse and (maybe?) sexual themes. I will also likely The only things I will not roleplay are anything to do with rape, sexual assault, pedophila and/or incest. I'm open to roleplaying smut but I will be extreamly selective on who I write with. I have to feel comfortable with the mun plus likely already have to have an establish ship going. I will, by no circumstance, roleplay sumt with minors!! NO ITS, NO BUTS! If I learn you are lying about your age, consider yourselfPermanently blocked with all threads deleted.

Who I’ll Interact With

Well, obviously I will roleplay with other Transformers characters, (Not limited to just Prime). I’ll roleplay with just about almost all fandoms. I am a bit more selective over fandoms I'm not too familiar with but that doesn't always mean my doors aren't closed to them neither. To put it simple: If a muse interests me, I'm more than likely on board. What is always the case however is that I will not, and I do mean WILL NOT roleplay with muses base off Youtube Let’s Players or any real life people WHAT SO EVER!! Sorry, I’m sure a good share of you are fantastic people, but it’s something I am simply against mortality. I’m open to roleplaying with OCs both fandom base and/or fandomless, but again, I’m still selective. I always check out the mun’s page before following and if I don’t see a bio for your OC, I will simply not follow. I can't interact with a character I know nothing about. Really, a good indication that I want to interact with you is if I follow you, either before or after you do.

The Mun

Name: Jessie/Sweets Birthdate:August 2nd, 1989 Hello loves~ So...about myself: I love to write if it wasn’t obvious yet, but some of my other hobbies include but not limited to: Drawing, video games, comics, animation. The general geek crap. I like to believe I'm a down to earth and chill person to hang with so don’t feel shy to start a conversation with me outside of our general roleplay affair. For OOC post, Doctor Nefarious from Ratchet and Clank and/or Wander from Wander Over Yonder as faceclaims but more incline to use the former. Things to keep note of: I am diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. This can at times affect my abilities to socialize and communicate normality and at times even makes it hard to pick up cues if not direct enough. Miscommunication could happen and if I misinterpreted/stepped over the line/did something uncalled for that I’m unaware of; You shouldn’t fear about addressing the issue to me privately. I don’t do things on purpose. Most people don’t. And more than half the time, these problems can be addressed by talking it out. Communication and understanding is key to be a successful roleplay partner. The last thing I want is to make my friends unconformably and treat them with respect and I expect the same! I also suffer from depression and anxiety and can affect my mood, as well as my will to interact/socialize that day and may even not want to be bothered. This never has anything to do with the other Mun, this is me and Me alone! My mental health comes first after all and I’m sure you all can respect that and vice versa. Roleplaying is a hobby for me, not a job. I go at my own pace. With my mental health addressed; it can play into how active I am. Some days I can write replies/threads like no ones business, others I can be sluggish and not want to do anything. Do not pester me for replies! They’ll come when they come. Thankfully, I don’t have many triggers. Nothing that I can’t blacklist anyways. I always make sure to read the Mun’s rules but if there's anything you need me to tag that I may have glace over, don’t feel shy to speak up about it.

#🌠PSA;;#🌠OOC;;

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joonsrack · 4 years

Text

+Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

+Genre: One shot (maybe an eventual series). It’s not fluff, it’s not angst, it’s....idk i’m bad at this.

+Word count: 2.1k

+Summary:

“Here stands Kim Namjoon, tyrannic CEO who has made the last few months of your life a blur of stressful weeks and nonexistent weekends. He's a workaholic on a good day, and a demon on the bad ones. Not a...whatever this is.

‘He’s flirting, right?’ The little voice from the back of your mind supplies. ‘Shut up’ is all you answer.”

Meeting your boss in a BDSM club is probably the last thing you were expecting coming here.

+Warnings: NSFW (nothing graphic but story takes places in a BDSM club), BDSM themes, implied switch namjoon, implied dom reader, i know nothing about BDSM and BDSM clubs, don’t @ me. (if i should have tagged anything else pls let me know uwu)

+A/N: This is my first reader x member type of fic, and i gotta say, it was pretty fun. I wrote this for the Secret Santa event organized by the amazing people at BTS writers collective, as a gift for the lovely @freekyegg 💖💖💖. You said your fave namjoon was harness and choker namjoon, so my brain went straight for the kinky stuff.... I hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it! Also this fic has nothing to do with Christmas, idk how that happened..

ENORMOUS thank you to @spicykoreantatertots who edited this on a 2 hour deadline, when it wasn’t even finished yet 🥰💖

Of all the places you thought you’d be spending your Friday night, sitting in the office of a BDSM club owner, discussing SSC and setting up your membership, was not one of them. But here you are, sitting in the office of a BDSM club owner, going through the terms and conditions of your membership.

Jung Hoseok smiles at you before handing you a gold pen. The man looks immaculate in his double breasted gray suit, not a crease in sight. Despite his smile, there’s a dangerous aura to him. One of complete and utter control.

“Sign here, here, and here. It’s very important that you respect these rules, for everyone’s safety. We also insist that first timers stick to observation during their first visit. Wear this.” He says, putting down a red bracelet on the desk before you. “Then other customers will know not to propose you. You can also choose to wear this bracelet whenever you feel like just watching from the sidelines.” You hand him back the membership contract after you’ve finished signing on all the proper lines, and he examines your signature before nodding in approval. “There’s a bar at everyone’s disposal, but we don’t allow heavy alcohol consumption, since we prioritize clear consent.”

The nameplate on the desk with 'Jung Hoseok - Headmaster' engraved in cursive makes you feel like you’re back in high school. Except this is not high school, and sitting on the other side of the desk is a successful attractive young man, not a bald idiot.

“There’s some private rooms to everyone’s disposition, which you can either reserve in advance or the same night depending on the availability. We have one room for people who like to have an audience, which we call the Window Room.”

You nod along with him, a little overwhelmed by all the information. He smiles reassuringly at you, noticing your deer in the headlights look. It feels more predatory than anything else.

“There's single mixers every last Thursday of each month, open to the BDSM community, and sometimes there’s special events, themed nights or performances, which are posted on the website. Any questions?”

You shake your head, feeling so far out of your element, sitting in this chair, about to enter a whole new world you’ve been fantasizing about but never dared to seek out.

It took your best friend, Taehyung, digging a little too deep in your closet for one of your blouses and finding your box of accessories and outfit. You had flushed a deep red in embarrassment at having your secret exposed, but your friend had been quick to reassure you there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Then he’d shocked you into admitting he had a similar interest.

“You asked me once why I have a leash at home when I don’t own a dog.” He had said, shrugging one shoulder, and that had been an eye opening moment for you.

And then, after revealing you’d never shared with anyone your interest for all things leather, whip and power dynamic, he had talked to you about this club.

“It’s called Club Dionysus. It’s for people interested in BDSM. There are spaces reserved for scenes, but you can also just chill at the bar and observe. It could be good for you, to explore this side of you, you know? Without any pressure to participate in anything.”

A few days later, after a hellish week of dealing with your tyrannic boss, distracting yourself with a new experience seemed like an excellent idea.

The corset is hugging your body just right, your sheer stockings held in place by some garter and disappearing into your leather pencil skirt. The heels you have on would never be appropriate for a setting other than this one, making you feel like there’s power to each of your steps.

It’s definitely not the kinkiest outfit you own, but you chose to keep it tame for you first visit.

Taehyung is waiting just outside the door as Hoseok dismisses you from his office, wishing you an excellent time. He steers you toward the bar area, but that doesn’t stop you from mapping out the place. You had sneaked a peak at the club before being ushered into the Headmaster’s office, but it’s still a lot to take in once you’re finally free to let your eyes roam around.

The general theme colour seems to be dark palettes, dark wood details, and a little touch of red here and there, but definitely less than you were expecting. There’s the bar corner, which looks like any other club, save maybe for the bartender’s outfit. There’s some tables and then an open space, but it doesn’t seem to be for dancing, judging from the handcuffs hanging from the ceiling.

“For public punishment.” Taehyung specifies once he sees what you zeroed on.

You try to act unaffected, but it’s definitely going to stay in the back of your mind.

There’s a hallway that leads to a few closed doors, some with signs on them. It’s probably safe to assume these are “occupied” signs. Then there's a corner with a small stage, where those performances Hoseok mentioned probably take place. A Saint Andrew’s cross is placed on it, which you were kind of expecting, coming here.

Then, there’s a ceiling to floor window, giving into a darkened room.

You leave Taehyung at the bar waiting for you drinks, curious about what is standing on the other side. The room is dark, so you need to stick your face to the glass and shield your eyes from the light to see anything beyond the window.

You see some outlines, but you can’t make out exactly what’s in there, other than some dark furniture. You push your face even closer, tightening the shield around your eyes.

“You’re allowed to peak inside through the door, you know.” Someone says from behind you, startling you from how close they sound.

Your body seizes up in fight or flight response, survival instinct kicking in at the familiar voice. You know it so well; Too well. It follows you all day long, barking orders left and right, calling you at all hours to add to your workload. And then it wakes you up in the middle of the night, most of the time from stress nightmares.

Most of the time.

You deliberate about turning around and facing the most humiliating moment of your life, or just going straight for the exit without turning back. There isn't a lot of patrons in the bar right now, so the path to the door is probably clear. The only problem is that your feet are grounded to the floor, your heels feeling like they're suddenly made of concrete.

There's a little voice in the back of your mind whispering something that resemble 'Don't forget he's here too', but right now all you’re able to focus on is the presence you can feel, hovering over your shoulder.

That's probably what describes best your relationship, him hovering over your shoulder.

Kim Namjoon has been breathing down your back since the first day you started working as his personal assistant, making your every waking moment a living hell. Go figure he would be doing it here too.

You brace yourself for his usual cold demeanour. You're persuaded this man hates you, always bossing you around and criticizing your every move.

You aren’t expecting the soft grin pulling at the corner of his lips.

Neither are you expecting… everything else.

Gone is his everyday slicked back hairstyle, his silver hair coiffed into a more relaxed, swoop to the side look. He’s wearing this black satin blouse with see through sleeves and leather jeans, which is already a lot to compute, quite different from the suit you’re used to seeing him in. What makes your brain short circuit though, is the harness.

A leather belt cinches his slim waist, two leather straps attached to it, running over his strong shoulders. There’s two leather cuff on each of his wrist, over the sleeves ends, and the harness look is completed by a simple black choker, looking stark against Namjoon’s neck.

You feel your mouth go dry, your breathing getting a little short and heart beating a little faster.

All because of the stress of meeting your boss here, of course. No other reason at all.

“Hello sir.” You say, finally finding your voice. Your head is in a state of chaos, your brain on a loop of everything going on with Namjoon’s outfit.

“Rule #6 if I remember correctly; Relationships and dynamic with people you might know outside of these walls do not apply inside Club Dionysus.” Namjoon recites, eyes on your red bracelet. He takes a very small step back that doesn’t do anything for the lack of space between you.

You would feel caged in, except he has his hands in his back.

You’re not exactly sure why he’s telling you that, although you vaguely remember Jung Hoseok mentioning this earlier. The confusion must show on your face, because Namjoon carries on.

“You don’t need to address me as sir here.” He says, his smile turning sharper. “That is… unless we’ve previously agreed upon that.”

Oh. Oh.

There’s something happening here. A shift in the air. A glint in his eyes.

You swallow, and it sounds ten times louder than usual, despite the soft background music.

“I- hm. Interesting.” You’ve probably never sounded so dumb, but you can’t think over the sirens going off in your head.

This is a weird situation. Something you were not expecting, not in a million years. And how could you?

Here stands Kim Namjoon, tyrannic CEO who has made the last few months of your life a blur of stressful weeks and nonexistent weekends. He's a workaholic on a good day, and a demon on the bad ones. Not a...whatever this is.

‘He’s flirting, right?’ The little voice from the back of your mind supplies. ‘Shut up’ is all you answer.

Unaware of your internal struggles, Namjoon snorts at your lack of response, looking...endeared? Is that the correct word? Is your obvious lack of brain cells endearing to him?

“I’m not your boss here, and you’re not my personal assistant.”

“Ehrm, I see. Should I call you Mr.Kim then?”

“If you wish to.” He says, looking particularly amused by your awkwardness.

Which, rude. This is a stressful place to meet your boss, how dare he.

“If I wish to, huh? So, I could choose to call you anything I’d like?” You can’t stop the slight flare of temper, not liking being made fun off. If he wants you to treat him as an equal, then treat him as an equal you will.

Namjoon nods once, his tongue quickly wetting his lips before adding, “Of course I will need to agree to it beforehand.”

You catch Taehyung from the corner of your eyes, waving at you from the bar with a question mark on his face. Namjoon follows your line of sight, focusing on your friend and frowning.

“Would you agree to being called ‘baby boy’, then?” you taunt, standing straighter than you have so far.

He snaps his attention back to you, looking taken aback by the switch of demeanor.

You can’t stop your mind from conjuring the memory of those dreams, the one that wake you up in the middle of the night. Blurs of a long body tied to a bed, a diamond choker sparkling on his neck, a voice, usually hard, sounding soft and whimpery.

The wide eyed look Namjoon is giving you is pretty close to the one you usually see on his face during those short nighttime visits.

“I-” He says, but stops, looking flustered. You feel a growing satisfaction at having reversed the roles.

The novelty of the situation, that left you feeling unsteady, is starting to subside, leaving you sure footed in your stilettos.

You purse your lips, cocking a brow.

“Only if you agree, of course.”

You see his throat work, making his choker shift as he swallows once, then twice.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m not allowed to take part in the events tonight,” You say, showing off your bracelet. “so I guess we should keep this discussion for next time.” You side step him, never breaking eye contact.

“After all, we need to talk about what you’re going to call me, too.”

“In fact,” He finally says after a moment of silence, his earlier confidence replaced by something more tentative. “we should discuss it in great detail.” He finishes.

You smile in lieu of a response, before giving one last appreciative look to his attire, lingering on the black choker. You feel his eyes on you as you make your way back to the bar, already looking forward to next Friday.

#magicshopnet #secretsanta2019 #ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #namjoon fic #i hope you enjoyed Roxy uwu

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lustbile-archive · 4 years

Text

*Please read before requesting*

I’ve been getting some blurb and fic requests so I figured it would be helpful to make kind of a guideline of my writing. Regardless of it having a graphic or whatever this is very hastily made, but if you want an idea of my writing HERE is my multi group master list, and HERE is my nct/wayv masterlist Also sorry if I forget anything I’m kinda dumb

Fic Requests: OPEN

Blurb Requests: OPEN

* I write as inclusive as I possibly can

- I doubt anyone has noticed, but I don’t use gendered pronouns. If pronouns are necessary for the flow I will only use they/them. These aren’t personally my pronouns but I just prefer to use them in writing and I’d prefer to not have she/her involved in requests but I’m not going to refuse a request if you do use it. I also do not use gendered pet names such as: baby girl, good girl, or girlfriend

- that being said all readers will be written with a vagina. Sorry if that word made u cringe rip, but I don’t think I’d be able to write anything else :/

- I try not to write anything that makes it seem that the reader has a specific skin color, a specific length or color of hair, or a specific body type. I might slip up on this, and thinking back I think I have, but I want nothing more than for my writing to be able to be read by almost anyone (with a vagina obvi)

* If you request a fic be patient

- If you request something, unless it’s just a blurb or head canon, I’m not going to be able to get to it immediately. I have my own original ideas and a whole series I’m keeping up with so it will be a minute. And I do try to keep up with the smut tags to see if my writing is showing up, so if I see that you’ve also requested the same thing from someone else, I’m going to be less inclined to want to write it, and I might just not write it at all. If you in anyway think maybe I didn’t get ur request, send it again, or send me a message asking if I got it. I probably did but I have other requests or fics lined up first.

- I post a full length work once a week, and I also have a pattern. It goes: original fic, requested fic, & series installment. This being as long as I have an active request obviously. So it will show up eventually but please just be patient

* I’m willing to write for anyone in the groups in my bio EXCLUDING

- Chenle and Jisung of nct

- Jeongin of stray kids

- Chen of exo

* I write memberxReader smut

- I do not write memberxmember stuff

- I have like one sfw work piece on here and that was more of just experimenting with the format idk if I’ll ever do that again but if u request it I might idk

* Tropes/Topics I won’t write

- Explicitly sub!idol. If he isn’t dom, he’ll be either neutral or sub leaning. I’m unfortunately personally a sub/bottom leaning switch and idk if I could write reader as a hard dom very well. But who knows maybe I’ll be in a mood one day and we’ll see what happens

- Reader w/ an certain insecurity, or a fic based around being insecure. The closest I can see myself getting is probably a degradation kink, but not everyone has the same insecurities and as someone who’s working through getting rid of my own insecurities I don’t think that would be something that would benefit my mental health trying to write. Also don’t depend on dumb boys to fix ur insecurities, especially fictional boys you’re too fun and sexy for that

- Size kink. Not everyone is built the same way or petite and acting like people who are are the only ones that consume fanfiction is irresponsible and gross. There’s other reasons I’m really not into this but that’s another rant for another day that would probably piss some people off :)

- Dilf with the reader being barely legal. Like this is actually gross and there’s no reason for grown men to be sexually attracted to teenagers. Dilf where he’s the father of another member and that member the reader r fucking high schoolers: ❌ Dilf where he has a younger child and the age gap is appropriate and not preditory: ✅

- Anything set in high school,,,, no???

- Idol/Trainee! Reader. We’re not all East Asian, I’m definitely not (I’m literally Mexican lmao) and this goes back to the inclusivity thing. Trying to read idol and trainee stuff when ur not East Asian is just, from personal experience, kind of weird

- harry potter au. JK is a raging transphobe/terf and I haven’t given a fuck about harry potter since middle school I wouldn’t know how to write it if I tried

- royalty/medieval stuff cause similarly I don’t know much about it aside from playing skyrim and also fuck royal people

- mafia au’s, they’re repetitive and just not my thing.

-anything fetishizing asians. Just don’t be fucking weird.

- I’m not going to sit here and act like the club x series isn’t kind of grey sometimes with the consent thing, with the nature of what’s going on in the club, it’s kind of hard to avoid, but I try to make consent clear, but with that being said I won’t write something that has 0 consent at all. (I think consensual non consent is okay but I’d probably slip in a discussion of being into that in the fic itself)

- i don’t know what to write I’m into some really freaky shit sometimes so it’s hard to think of stuff I’m giving a hard no to. If you HMU with something I don’t want to write I’ll just tell u

#nct smut #wayv smut #exo smut #got7 smut #seventeen smut #pentagon smut

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just-antithings · 10 months

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was fucked up by my sleeping pills bc they had kicked in but I was scrolling thru tumblr and was high bc of that, and anyways did a long ass ramble in tags on a post about being a mystery or some shit where I had cracked a joke doctors @ me, in the tag and elaborated, and forgot abt tumblr’s update where ppl can see tags and anyways i fucking. forgot about the tags entirely But apparently op was a fucking anti or whatever which is Unfortunate for me bc now I have ppl being a bitch to me and also being ableist in my inbox but like. I was high and was not even venting-it genuinely was just me talking and trying to relate to others who may have medical issues that are Uncommon :( was generally very jokey but i may have had a tone issue? I tend to get very open and tangential when I’m still awake after I take my pills. normally it’s fine cause it’s been about other shit. nothing identifiable as far as I can tell was said but idk as I said I do have memory issues in general and was not fucking sober AND I’m autistic. (Not an excuse, but an explanation.) anyways I’m just blocking and deleting and pretending I don’t see it as per normal but they really don’t have any compassion at all for ppl. Wild of them. how do these ppl go thru life not able to mind they own? also one of the morons is legitimately a fucking sysmed (said so themselves) and says they didn’t need to know my “entire fucking medical history” 1 bb that’s literally ur whole thing remember u WANT ppls diagnoses so u can decide whether or not they’re valid. 2 girlie I A) didn’t expect nobody to see it from what I said and B) didn’t give u my entire history cause boy oh boy that would take so much goddamn time and wouldn’t fit within tags. I personally diagnose u with “bitch disease” it’s a disease where ur a fucking bitch. treatment plans typically include learning to be a decent person and not throwing stones within your glass house. I may be a sick fuck, but ur a nasty bitch. I’m not even really mad about this all, I’m just impressed at their hypocrisy at this point. Like babydoll, if ur gonna send ppl gore bc they wrote about two made up men kissing then it’s fine for me to talk NON GRAPHICALLY (I mean if I was graphically describing shit then yeah I’d even get it even with everything else but i literally just mentioned the basics and moved on.) about med shit that has confused doctors for years in the tags which historically have been generally private unless u looked at my direct reblog. Also the same person complained about taking up “too much of their dash” baby. sweetheart darling child who needs to go to bed and quit talking to the big kids until ur ready to act like a big kid : please understand that YOU CLICKED SEE MORE. once the tags take up a certain amount of space they do in fact happen to have an automatic see more. do you know nothing about the color of the sky? I could be so much more obnoxious. There was even a damn warning that the tags were long. And again I did fuck up by forgetting tags are no longer private but literally that’s the way it was intended to start with. it’s rude of tumblr to expose that shit. anywho I’m defs high again sorrys (it’s prescribed I’m not doing like illegal crack cocaine i promys)

#mod erin #ask #posted without comment #drug mention #caps warning #just anti things #syscourse mention #ask to tag

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

Note

Previous anon! I think you mentioned a literature degree in a post a while back. (But the tags you left on the ask certainly showed evidence of it haha). I was curious and wanted you to talk about it but wasnt sure if i should straight up say "pls talk about your degree i am very interested and curious"

lollll i mean as a lit major i feel like i’m morally obligated to drag myself for it bc like i deserve it but yeah i’m down to talk about my degree!! uhhh idk if you have anything specific in mind, feel free to ask me whatever you want to know bc it turns out when asked to talk about my degree i don’t even know where to start rip also if you’re looking for someone who can advise you on what you can do with a lit major i am the wrong person to go to sdkjfnsdkjsnfd what i do for work now has basically nothing to do with what i studied but i’m honestly good with that bc it was always something i studied more because i wanted to than because i wanted to turn it into an actual career

Trying to remember what lit classes i liked the best... off the top of my head: contemporary women novelists, modern english lit, black literature in europe, post-colonial lit [by far my favorite lit class ever, that reading list fuckin slapped]; there was also a class that i don’t remember what it was called anymore but i loved it bc we read a lot of more nontraditional writing that also focused a lot on intergenerational trauma [so like Maus and the Photographer which are graphic novels were on the reading list, and we also read a poem called Zong! and experimental plays and things like that]

hmmm not knowing what specifically you wanna know about i guess i’ll just give some general thoughts about being a lit major [and tossing a cut here bc i got rambly... i’m sorry... you asked a lit major about being a lit major this is what happens i guess]

as one might expect it involves a fuckton of reading and writing literary analysis which might be a con for some but definitely not for me. but like i am the kind of asshole who actually likes reading three books in a week and writing a 7 page close reading comparing the roles of Persuasion’s Ann Elliot and the Bride of Lamermoor’s Lucy so, you know, i certainly don’t expect what works for me to be a one-size-fits-all kind of thing lol

One thing I really liked with the classes i took was the opportunity to push back against the typical canon of the Dead White Man that i feel like was really prevalent in public school. tbf there was still quite a bit of that in some of my classes [James Joyce meet me in the fucking pit] but if you’re strategic with the classes you sign up for you really get the chance to get exposed to a lot of unique and diverse perspectives, i feel like the foundation i got in those classes helped me form a baseline for where to start in finding more literature like that

Although as mentioned i did still have a lot of issues with that in my department. like idk if that was just my school or being in undergrad or whatever but i feel like a lot of lit majors I knew had a very prescriptive view of what “counts” as literature, we got into so many discussions about what qualifies as ~art~ [which if you know me i think is such bullshit like who are we to judge what is more artistic than something else particularly when for so much of history what has been deemed ~proper literature~ was written by white men but anyway we don’t have to get into it right now lol] and while i got the sense that the culture was slowly changing while i was part of it i do still feel like there’s a lot about the lit academia world that still kinda has to catch up, like it can be a field rife with elitism and narrow-mindedness depending on where you are in it. but of course that’s just my own take on it! ymmv and all that

i feel like this major taught me way more about how to read than about how to write, like at my school at least especially in a lot of the upper level classes there was basically no guidance for how to write your papers you’re kind of already expected to know how to write good literary criticism? also tbh i didn’t always love writing papers, in fact sometimes it fucking sucked having to write long analyses about topics i didn’t give a shit about and sometimes you have to do a FUCKTON of writing about shit you don’t care about [especially during finals week rip college Sarah you will not be missed]. but i think the analysis skills i developed while studying lit are genuinely really valuable even if i don’t really do anything directly related to my field of study career wise, like they help me be more thoughtful about pretty much everything i read and watch from the news to fiction and also be more thoughtful about my choices in my own creative writing all of which i really appreciate esp since it’s stuff i’m interested in just in general so I definitely don’t regret this choice of study!

sidenote but big rip to anyone who goes into this major and likes reading for fun in their downtime sdfknsnf i had way too much reading always to do any of my own reading outside of class [anthro is a very reading/writing heavy major too BIG rip to college Sarah] and when i did have breaks i was like fuck no i’m not thinking about words until i ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO [by going back to class] [god i’m so glad i’m not in school anymore]

Lord that got rambly skjfnskdjfnsd idek if any of that is anything you’d be interested in but yeah feel free to ask me more specific questions if you feel like it! then maybe i won’t go off on a million tangents [disclaimer: i probably still will]

#the college struggle #jesus haven't used that tag in a while sndkfdsk #but like it's relevant so w/e #Anonymous #answers

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impassiveesper · 4 years

Note

What was your first impression of the roleplay community on Tumblr? And what’s your impression of it now?

Mun’s Asks: RP Edition

1.) What was your first impression of the roleplay community on Tumblr? And what’s your impression of it now?

[OOF STRAP IN INTREPID]

I’ve been on this hellsite since the beginning but I really only started RPing here after a few years. Probably in 2012 or 2013? I can’t remember exactly when but I remember being very intimidated by the idea of RP on this platform in particular. There is a bit of a steep learning curve in terms of etiquette here that is even steeper when you factor in the near requirement for tumblr-literacy. Like you basically need xkit to RP and you need to understand what kinds of asks get eaten and when/how cuts work and what behaviors do and don’t cause notifications and how ask posts work and how the block/blacklist features do and dont work and what tags tumblr will and wont index etc etc. When you’re a tumblr old head it’s easy to forget newcomers don’t immediately know things like that. It’s part of the reason why I tend to be very basic in my approach compared to what is popular at the moment. I was one of those fabled newcomers at one point.

I don’t really think that tumblr RPC is any better or worse now than it was back then, just different. A lot of what’s popular now was a thing back then, but now it’s more commonplace in a much smaller population of RPers. I wouldn’t say that the RPC has many new problems as much as I would say the old problems have intensified.

When I started out I was in a fandom that was very cliquey and made me feel like shit a lot and those spaces probably still exist on tumblr but the difference is I know what my boundaries are and what behaviors I will and wont tolerate on my dash. Overall the RPC is much better at talking about things like that than it used to be imo. That same fandom I just shit on was also a lot of fun and taught me that it was okay to not take RP too seriously and not be too worried about if it looks pretty enough or was fancy enough. I’m really grateful for people who would RP with me back then even though I unknowingly broke a lot of tumblr RPC’s unwritten rules.

That’s why it’s very important to me as a seasoned RPer to be as approachable a blog as I can possibly be. In this the lords year of 2020 I still feel myself being set in my ways and avoiding trends that are ultimately harmless, but there is an extent to which I have to participate in order to be courteous to others so I do my best to be open minded about Neo RPC Trends. I end up being of two minds just about everything that’s popular right now.

Take for example reblog karma / I AM NOT A MEME SOURCE type rules. I think that’s shits dumb, you guys can reblog anything you want from me, in fact reblogging it from me heightens the chances of me sending you one whether you sent me one or not. I’m not gonna get mad at you for using the website as it is intended by the devs to be used, but also if somebody else’s rules say it bugs them to have memes rbed from them, then I think their feelings are more important than my opinion on the matter. People are more important to me than policies in cases like these, so of course I’ll reblog the meme from the source instead of you or w/e.

But at the same time, that idea about feelings also includes the feelings of people who are new to RP and maybe don’t even know the etiquette well enough to know they’re messing up. There’s a lot to get mad about in the current state of tumblr RP but even when I agree that I want this particular tedium done, I don’t really agree with the idea that I should make it a rule that forces other people to stay away from me. Yes I dont want to be ponging an ask post back and forth. Yes I want our posts cut. But also, I wont get mad if you rb an ask instead of putting it in a new post. I’ll just put in a new post myself. I wont get mad if you dont cut a post, I’ll just cut it myself. It’s not hard to do.

Take also graphics, banners, and all manner of fancy formatting. RPC has really really leaned into that a lot more than back in 2013. On the one hand, I think that’s great. People are so creative. Their stuff looks so pretty, and I really like the work people put in. I don’t think it’s a bad thing necessarily, but on the other hand it does heighten that already steep barrier for entry imo, especially in circles that require it and judge based upon it. For me it’s more important to avoid looking like that’s an expectation of mine. Like, I can do that stuff. I do sometimes, actually. I make icons in batches of hundreds, I take commissions for RP graphics, don’t tell anybody. I’m a freelance illustrator and I know my way around the adobe creative suite-- I CAN make these things and I do for other people, but I can’t be called to do it for myself in most cases. When I see a blog with very nice graphics I immediately assume they don’t care to interact with me. In fact I still tend to unfairly think this even when they’ve shown me otherwise. If we don’t have a long term rapport and you’re a blog with nice graphics and I reply to your posts, what you’re seeing is a neurotic prey animal that is afraid of you signaling alarm. For whatever reason I tend to interpret very fancy looking blogs as confident and happy in their own existing bubbles with no particular interest in newcomers. I know that’s not always a fair assumption to make--it’s a problem with me that I need to work on--but also I know other people deal with similar feelings. That’s why I don’t feel particularly called to make much beyond the most basic of graphics most of the time and I’m highly avoidant of anybody who seems like graphics are a requirement for interactions with them. Not everybody has photoshop. Not everybody is skilled at that sort of thing. I don’t want people to think that I will judge their style based on what my own style looks like, so I don’t invest much in it. Again, there’s nothing wrong with graphics, but it’s more important to me than anything else that I am approachable and I make other people on the dash as comfortable as I can. I’m glad that it seems like a requirement for cohesive graphics has waned over the last few years.

But, yea. I’d say this duality--the “this is cool but also I have reasons I feel I shouldn’t participate”--is how I feel about pretty much everything that’s big right now. And like don’t even get me started on the anxiety RPC has around things like soft blocking and mutuals and multiples and “quality”. These things in particular aren’t that new, but a lot of Neo RPC etiquette and trends surrounding those types of anxieties represent a whole quagmire that I try to avoid as much as I can, often to a fault, and lately I’ve realized that in my blanket avoidance I am actually missing out on some things I really should consider doing. My icons could do with some light color retouching. I do want to get my tags together eventually. Permanent starter calls, interests checkers, banners to make asks more easily rebloggable-- these things are functional and can be fun and make RP easier and help people feel emboldened to approach. Like, there are a lot of newish things that are actually cool and I should maybe consider trying them out, but being an oldster has really made me slow to adapt.

So yeah, idk if that was clear at all lol. Take these many, many unnecessary words to say that again, I don’t necessarily think that the current RPC is better or worse in an objective sense, but I do think a lot of the anxieties and trends that were starting in the old RPC have really caught fire now in a way that makes them hard to abstain from even if you want to. Since the RPC is so much smaller now than it was in 2013, you really do have to play ball on these things more than you used to have to in order to find partners. There is a lot of etiquette and anxiety that goes unspoken in the RPC and so I often avoid fairly harmless RPC trends as a means of mitigating that anxiety and clarifying the unspoken as much as I can. Tumblr already has a barrier for entry by being a broken website that hates its rp users, I don’t need to pile on any extra factors to make that barrier to entry look any taller.

#[ooc]#[Munday]#posts an opinion and waits for the hard blocks to roll in #not that I said anything more controversial than ''I'm down for whatever''#but u kno #long post #pawnshopsouls #[Asks]

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almaasi · 4 years

Text

yoooooooooo, I’m in need of a beta (or betas) for my Garak/Bashir fics since all my usual proofreaders are busy.

summaries/warnings for 4 completed fics are listed under the cut. total word count is 111k+. all are rated ‘explicit’ except for one ‘mature’.

my previous fics are here if you want to know how I write.

preferably I’m looking for someone who can beta all of them, and more fics that come after this, but anyone who can do a one-off is cool too. I definitely want someone who’s good at suggesting things in the name of intersectional feminism and reader sensitivity! or just questioning things and commenting in general. catching typos or confusing sentences would be a huge bonus but that’s not my priority~

please share this with people you think might be interested!!!

fics listed longest first, not necessarily the ideal posting order. some of these have been lightly or partially beta’d already.

1. The Wolf Who Cried Doctor

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Julian Bashir & Ezri Dax

55k, Explicit

Garak is certain: any day now, Julian will discover that the most frequent visitor to DS9’s Infirmary has been going out of his way to fake, cause, and invite harm unto himself in order to gain his dear doctor’s attention. Garak cheerfully tells his lies with just enough variation to remain interesting, but remains afraid that one day Julian won’t believe him when there’s really something wrong.

But Julian is already aware there’s a problem. And the best treatment for an acute case of touch-starved loneliness, he believes, is to provide Garak with as much physical affection and emotional care as possible. It’s not like Julian couldn’t do with some company himself, given how his relationship with Ezri has been fraying.

But neither Julian nor Garak envisioned what could come of it all. Neither of them ever prepared for bliss.

(A post-canon fic where Garak comes back to DS9 and feelings happen.)

Tags: non-endgame pairing:, Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax, side pairings: Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Angst, Self-Harm, Depression, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, (Julian and Garak), Lovers to Friends, (Julian and Ezri), Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Massage, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Touch-Starved Elim Garak, Lonely Elim Garak, Jealous Elim Garak, Garak is the quadrant’s most melodramatic drama queen, Lonely Julian Bashir, Bisexual Julian Bashir, Julian’s Foot Fetish, Ezri Ships It, Supportive Ezri Dax, Matchmaker Ezri Dax, Love Triangle, except it’s a tangle of lines, Polyamory, Communication is Hard but Vital, Replicator Malfunctions, Space Station Antics, First Time, Bottom Julian Bashir, Top Elim Garak

Warnings: Garak self-harms (nothing gory or graphic - just hot tea + gravity, improper handling of sewing tools, baiting others to use brute force, purposefully ingesting questionable foodstuffs; scars from past cutting) - but for most of the story he doesn’t think his actions are troublesome, merely viewing self-harm as a means to an end to acquire the physical comfort and emotional attention that he craves from Julian. (Disclaimer: I’m aware this is not the only reason real people might self-harm, but it’s Garak’s reason.)

Unspecific suicidal ideation (Julian tells Garak off and Garak’s like “welp! guess I’ll die now”). Both Garak and Julian are wildly depressed and lonely - and I swear that Ezri, the O’Briens, and I are trying our darnedest to rescue them, but they both have a tendency to spiral into a vortex of doom without talking to anyone about it, so it’s not the easiest thing to do. >:|

Foot fetish is mild but... y’know, present. (Oh, Julian.)

Regarding polyamory/love triangle tags (spoilers ahead!): Julian loves Ezri A LOT but doesn’t realise it’s in a platonic friendship way, and privately ties himself in knots over not being sexually or romantically attracted to her anymore (if he ever was to begin with). Much panicking about unintentional cheating happens, because he’s accidentally in love with Garak while dating Ezri - except (more spoilers) Ezri is trying to set him up with Garak anyway. Ezri is totally poly and way more chill than 99% of people would be in her position. Past Kira/Keiko/Miles.

Special note I mentioned to current betas: you should probably know that i feel some sort of divided way about how ezri is SO accepting of julian's disaster sexuality, because a) i've never once seen any character react like that, ever, in anything fictional or real (potentially bc of lack of bi and poly rep), and b) her reactions are based on how i would react in her place??? (note that i'm aro, ace, and bi, (well that's simplified) so if i was in a relationship with julian it would definitely be platonic but me being madly attracted to him despite that) so it's like... really personal but also i'm worried nobody would relate and would say i made her a pushover. so any pointers you have there would be lovely <3

2. Runabout Rollabout

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

23.5k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Keiko O’Brien, Kasidy Yates, Kira Nerys, Ezri Dax (mentioned)

Eight months after the war ends, Julian invites Garak on a pollen-harvesting trip to Bajor. Distracted by the delight of seeing his friend after so long, Garak gets himself blasted with hormone-altering pollen, and is forced to ride out the repercussions on the runabout journey back to DS9. Symptoms include mood swings, unusual food cravings, and an urgent need for emotional assurance and physical contact. Julian is glad to offer relief, in whatever manner Garak requires. Even in the most intimate of ways...

Secretly, they both hope their brief affair in the runabout’s bottom bunk will lead to something more. But how could it, when duty forever trumps desire?

Tags: Post-Canon, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Sex Pollen, Mood Swings, Hormones, Cuddling & Snuggling, Public Display of Affection, Smut, Explicit Consent, First Kiss, Caring Julian Bashir, Hormonal Elim Garak, Horny Elim Garak, First Time, Anal Sex, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, but they do switch briefly, Post-Canon Bajor, Post-Canon Cardassia, Illustrated

Notes: FYI, Julian and Ezri are no longer a couple. How that happened is discussed late in the fic, but Garak thinks they’re still dating when he and Julian sleep together for medical reasons. (Julian is NOT cheating, but Garak guiltily believes he is.)

This one’s probably an easy edit tbh. But I’m still questioning that ^ Garak-thinks-Julian-seeing-Ezri thing, so anyone who can tell me if it feels right, if I need to edit it, or if I should take it out, would be great.

3. Tail Over Heels

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Amsha Bashir, Benjamin Sisko, Ezri Dax, Miles O’Brien, Kira Nerys, and everyone else

19.9k, Mature

Despite every attempt to deter her, Julian’s mother is coming to DS9. Here’s the problem: Julian told her he was married, and he’s not. Here’s the solution: Garak stands in as Julian’s husband. She’s meant to hate him. But Garak is just too damn likable - and a liiiittle too convincing in the role of Julian’s lover. Not only does his mother believe the lie, but so does everyone else on the station. Even Julian himself is starting to wonder...

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mistaken For A Couple, Moving In Together, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Holding Hands, Eavesdropping, Bickering, Cardassian Flirting, First Kiss, First Time, Garak has a tail, Slightly Alternate Canon, set mid season 7, or an alternate post-canon where nobody leaves

Note: This one’s the oldest and closest to being publishable, and already illustrated and lightly beta’d, so this will likely post first, before the end of March 2020. But it definitely needs another going-over.

4. Code for Consent

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

13k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Miles O’Brien, Keiko O’Brien

With Miles away, Julian needs someone else to play the evil villain in his secret agent holosuite program. Garak steps up. But tying Julian to a bedpost and fake-torturing him turns out to be an accidental turn-on for both of them. Julian doesn’t want to break character, so allows Garak to escalate his erotic domination towards the point of no return - yet Garak won’t go any further with their roleplay without clear consent. Now Julian has to figure out a way to show Garak he wants him without saying it outright. (But then again, maybe saying it matters.)

Tags: Smut, Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Holodecks/Holosuites, Roleplay, Cardassian Flirting, Accidental Stimulation, Light Bondage, Choking, Light Knifeplay, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Roleplay, (foreplay only) - soon followed by:, Explicit Consent, Holding Hands, Making Love, Schmoop, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, set late season 6

Note: Nobody’s read this yet so idk how it comes across to other people, which worries me. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me but I can’t figure it out and need help with that :/

If you’re interested in helping, please submit me a tumblr message at https://almaasi.tumblr.com/submit with your name, pronouns, a statement of your interest and email address (gmail preferred) so I can add you to google docs if I pick you c:

(also maybe a timeframe of when you’d be able to beta. starting any time in the next couple of weeks is fine.)

(disclaimer to people with anxiety: I welcome anyone <3 if you want to say hi, PLEASE DO. I reserve the right not to pick you for any number of secret reasons, and I might not reply quickly, or at all, because I have chronic fatigue and messages are A Lot for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you or you did something wrong!! promise.)

#ds9 #garashir #deep space nine #star trek: deep space nine #Elmie writes things #post of postiness #betaing #The Wolf Who Cried Doctor #Runabout Rollabout #Tail Over Heels #Code for Consent

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lostinthewinterwood · 4 years

Text

AU Exchange 2020

Hey friend!

Looks like this letter’ll be going out on time, for once in my life. This one’s very long; there’ll be a list of fandoms after the general info so you can hop around and not get bogged down in the details that don’t matter for what you’re going to be writing.

Treats in any medium are welcome, my other exchange letters are here, and at the bottom there’ll be tags for each fandom I’ve requested, if you want to see whether I’ve requested them before and what I’ve said about them. Good luck, have fun, and thanks for writing for me!

General DNW non/dub-con; non-canonical major character death; heavy angst; hurt no comfort; graphic depictions of deliberate and methodical self-harm*; graphic depictions of suicide; smut; gore; grimdark; complete downer endings; character bashing; incest; cringe comedy; a/b/o; mpreg; graphic eye trauma; graphic and/or permanent hand trauma; issuefic; unrequested identity headcanons; a focus on unrequested romantic relationships**. *I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. however, something like cutting would not be appreciated. **canonical levels of canonical ships are perfectly fine; background non-canon ships that I haven’t dnw’d are okay too (unless otherwise specified—see below for fandom-specific notes).

General Likes

– I really like plotty fics

– Secret identity and disguise shenanigans, the more layers to them and more absurdity the better.

– Crossdressing for whatever reason and gender disguises, also for whatever reason.

– A focus on family and/or friendship, especially characters realizing they’re not nearly as alone as they think they are, and just generally characters who like each other and enjoy spending time together

– Found family; families of choice

– Character studies

– Worldbuilding

- explorations of how whatever AU you pick to write affects the characters and/or plot, and the ways in which it doesn’t

Other General Notes:

If there’s an AU I’d especially like to see on its own, without any other AU in combination with it, I’ll mention it—outside of that, feel free to combine the AUs as you see fit.

All the times that the Dragon Rider au is one I asked for, I’ve framed it in my prompts as a sports story thing—while that would definitely be great, don’t feel pressured to make it be like that; it’s just where my prompting muse is at right now, so if you want to take it in another direction go right ahead.

Fandoms in Order of Appearance:

Hanging Out with a Gamer Girl

Harry Potter

Mother of Learning (x2)

Day Break Illusion (x2)

Hanging Out with a Gamer Girl (Manga)

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Terazaki Kaoru (HOwaGG)

· Ousaka Nanami (HOwaGG)

· Group: Terazaki Kaoru & Ousaka Shouko (HOwaGG)

· Group: Terazaki Kaoru & Ousaka Nanami (HOwaGG)

Fandom-specific dnw: sexualization of Kaoru’s crossdressing, romance between Kaoru and Nanami beyond light shiptease à la canon (unless the AU chosen is a romantic fairytale, in which case go right ahead), full justification of Kaoru’s fears re: Nanami’s dad, heavy gender dysphoria.

Overall I love these kids and their friendship, and I also love how much Shouko feels like a mom to Kaoru even though he isn’t hers, even though he’s keeping secrets from her—he doesn’t seem to have that much parental support overall.

Whatever AU you pick, I’d appreciate that being preserved.

· ALL: Character was Stolen by Fairies as a Baby

· All: East of the Sun and West of the Moon Fusion

· All: Fairytale Fusion

· ALL: Fantasy/Magic Royalty and Palace Intrigue AU

· ALL: Magic is a part of everyday life

· ALL: Magical Girl Fusion

· ALL: Magical Realism

· ALL: Regency-Inspired Fantasy AU

For this set of tags, I’d love to see something that fuses the AU elements to canon, or replaces canon elements with them—maybe instead of gamers, the kids are magical girls! Or maybe there’s just magical elements wound seamlessly into their lives, or they instead live in a fairytale world, or…

Basically, this is my more generic magic!au set.

· ALL: Characters met as children

· ALL: Deaf Canon Characters

· ALL: Disabled Canon Characters

· ALL: Mute Canon Characters

· HOwaGG: trans girl Terazaki Kaoru

These are the generally mundane AUs—if one or both of the kids is disabled in some way, how does that affect them? If they’ve known each other longer than they have in canon, or used to know each other—how does that affect them? If Kaoru is a trans girl, is that something that she knows before their canon meeting, and maybe that’s a point at which she’s already begun transitioning? Or does the crossdressing give her a revelation?

· ALL: Daemon AU

· ALL: Daemons in Canon Divergent AU

I like daemon!aus a lot, though I’m not very good at writing them myself—if this world has daemons, what are the kids’? Are they fully settled yet, or not quite? Most people have daemons opposite to their sex—is it obvious that Kaoru’s daemon is female, and if so, does that pique Shouko’s interest? Does his daemon get him recognized by people who know Kaoru-the-boy even when he’s out looking like a girl?

· ALL: Dragon Rider AU

· All: Figure skating AU

Sports aus! One mundane, one distinctly less so… what’s it like, if they’re dragon riders? Is it a whole other world, or just our world +dragons? If it’s figure skating, what kind of skating do they do? Singles? Pairs? Ice dance? Are they just casual about it or competitive?

· ALL: Platonic Soulmate AU

· ALL: Soulmates - Soulmate Mark Appears At First Touch

· ALL: Soulmates Share Scars

These are probably my three favorite kinds of soulmate AUs—run with them! Tell me about the kids and their dynamic and the world they inhabit, with soulmates thrown into the mix!

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Percy Weasley (HP - JKR)

Fandom-specific dnw: non-canon ships.

I’ve phrased this so broadly because it’s generally better safe than sorry on these things—essentially what I especially don’t want is non-canon ships between people on opposite sides of the war, e.g. drarry, harry/Voldemort, etc. If you want to toss in background, idk, Pansy/Daphne or something, or relationships between various Ministry people, that I don’t mind.

· ALL: Underground Resistance

· HP: Percy Weasley is a spy for the Order of the Phoenix during the war

· ALL: Character Is a Secretly a Spy for the Other Side

There’s really one thing I want here—spy!Percy! He spends so much of the war in the Ministry, surrounded by Death Eaters and their accomplices and enablers, to all appearances the black sheep of the Weasley family and not much of a threat. Now, this could be genuine… but it could also be him playing them; I want to see a world where he, at some point—maybe after he chooses to stay with the ministry instead of his family, maybe before—decides to be a spy for the Order et al.

What are the risks? What can he accomplish? Can he help people beyond simply passing out information, perhaps with seemingly-inconsequential little acts?

Mother of Learning - nobody103

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Kirielle Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

request-specific dnw: physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family, significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction, romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian.

· All: Character has a secret identity

· All: Identity Porn

· ALL: Possessed by time travelling future self

· MoL: Kirielle as a Branded One

I’m fascinated by the idea of Kirielle somehow getting wrapped up in the time loop—what’s it like to live years and years of your life while your body stays nine? What does she do, what does she learn? Are Zach and Zorian still Branded Ones, or is she taking one or both of their places?

If you go with this, I’d rather not have her gate!soul erased—either let her escape, or don’t go far enough to need to address it, please.

The identity bits here are mostly leaning on the idea that, with her only being nine, Kiri would need some kind of identity obfuscation to do half of what Zach and Zorian do in canon, so…

· ALL: Daemon AU

· ALL: Daemons in Canon Divergent AU

Nothing particularly profound here—but! Daemons! How does this affect things? Is Kiri happier with someone to talk to who isn’t her siblings or parents or village children that her parents mightn’t approve of? I’d imagine her daemon hasn’t settled yet—what forms does it like?

· All: Changeling AU

· ALL: Fairy Tale AU

· All: Fairytale Fusion

· All: Historical Fantasy AU

· ALL: Magical Realism

· ALL: Nature Magic

The setting and/or mood change AUs—give me Kirielle-the-faerie child, or Kiri in a fairytale, or shift the setting more historical and into our world, or change the nature of the magic—the canonical magic system is fairly hard as magic systems go, which works well for the story as it is, but I also really like softer magics. What about a world where there’s simply small everyday magics present, or where Kiri has an affinity for green growing things quite beyond the natural?

· ALL: Deaf Canon Characters

How does Kiri’s life change, if she’s born deaf or becomes deaf? How does her role as Cikan Kazinski’s only daughter change? Does Eldemar have a Deaf community?

This could play into her desire to go to Cyoria, too—I wouldn’t expect Cirin to have much in the way of resources or community, but maybe Cyoria does; maybe that’s why she wants so badly to go.

· ALL: Finding Peace/An End to the War

· ALL: Legal Drama

· ALL: Magical environment/species conservation scientist au

· ALL: Magical horticulturists

This set is more likely future!fic than anything else—Kirielle’s growing up into a country on the brink of war; what’s she going to do when she gets older? Maybe she’ll be involved in that, or with the law—or maybe she goes to school and learns to be a mage, and then goes on to a career as a conservationist or horticulturist.

Mother of Learning - nobody103

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Zorian Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

· Zach Noveda (Mother of Learning)

request-specific dnw: physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family, significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction, romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian (unless in a romantic fairytale au).

· All: Changeling AU

· All: Fairytale Fusion

· ALL: Fantasy/Magic Royalty and Palace Intrigue AU

· ALL: High Fantasy AU

· All: Historical Fantasy AU

· ALL: Magical Realism

· ALL: Nature Magic

Again, setting and/or mood changes—turn one or both of these two into a changeling child, or push them into a different setting, or change their world to feel a little more magical than it does in canon.

· All: Character has a secret identity

· ALL: Deaf Canon Characters

· ALL: Legal Drama

· ALL: Magical environment/species conservation scientist au

· ALL: Magical horticulturists

· ALL: Role Swap AU

This set is a combination of probably-post-canon things and things that could slide into the canon timeline—what if one or both of them went to more effort to construct a second identity, either in the loop or out of it, for anyone’s benefit? What if one or both of them was deaf—if you go here, it’d be interesting if you combined it with deaf!Kirielle too. A role swap—what if Zorian got there earlier and the angels didn’t think him unworthy, and Zach wound up his tagalong instead?

And the other three are basically what-ifs for the post-canon world—there’s Zach’s court case to be dealt with, and these two are both skilled enough to do basically whatever they want to, if it’s to do with magic. Why not become a conservationist or horticulturist?

· ALL: Daemons in Canon Divergent AU

· All: Figure skating AU

· ALL: Regency AU

· All: Robin Hood Fusion

· ALL: Spies & Secret Agents

· ALL: University AU

This is a whole grab bag of different AUs—they’re all fairly self-explanatory I think, though I will say that you shouldn’t feel pressured to keep the overtly mundane-seeming AUs mundane, if you don’t want too—I’d like the mundane versions of course! But there’s plenty of interesting things you could explore with, e.g., magic!figure skating, so. Go wild.

· All: Tam Lin Fusion

In a weird way, MoL already has its characters in the roles they need to be in for a Tam Lin fusion, though the structure is of course very different–what is Zach if not a sacrifice against Panaxeth’s release? What is Zorian if not the one who fights nigh-impossible odds to save him from that fate? I’d love to see a fic that goes into this.

幻影ヲ駆ケル太陽 il sole penetra le illusioni | Day Break Illusion

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Tsukuyomi Luna (Day Break Illusion)

· Taiyou Akari (Day Break Illusion)

· Shirokane Ginka (Day Break Illusion)

· Hoshikawa Seira (Day Break Illusion)

· Group: Tsukuyomi Luna & Tsukuyomi Serena (Day Break Illusion)

· Group: Hoshikawa Seira & Shirokane Ginka & Taiyou Akari & Tsukuyomi Luna

fandom-specific dnw: heavy gender dysphoria.

· All: a character is transgender (binary)

· ALL: Alternate First Meetings

· All: Character has a secret identity

· ALL: Deaf Canon Characters

· ALL: Disabled Canon Characters

· ALL: Street Rats

This is basically the AUs of mundane level things; the broad strokes of canon are perfectly compliant with any of these, or at least they could be. What changes, if you go for any of the AUs listed above? What stays the same?

· All: Changeling AU

· ALL: Character was Stolen by Fairies as a Baby

· ALL: Daemon AU

· All: Fairytale Fusion

· ALL: Fantasy/Magic Royalty and Palace Intrigue AU

· ALL: Magical Realism

· ALL: Regency-Inspired Fantasy AU

· All: with the right postage you can send letters anywhere anywhen

Different flavors of fantasy—for the changelings, is the character we know from canon the stolen child, or their faerie replacement? Are their daemons affected by them fighting the daemonia; what happens to a daemon when the human is consumed by a daemonia? How do their powers and battles work in a world that’s more overtly magical? For the last—who/where/when would they send letters to? Would Akari send one back in time to Fuyuna, Luna to her sister, Seira to her friend? Forward to their future selves? How does this affect the timeline; do you have to be careful, lest you irrevocably change things, or are future-letters already set and immutable? Is this common or rare—what’s the price to send a letter through time?

· ALL: Character Journeys To The Underworld to Rescue Their Dead Friend

· All: Journey to the Underworld to Resurrect Loved One

Who are they rescuing? How are they going about the rescue? Are they bringing back Fuyuna? Seira’s friend? Luna’s sister, if it turns out she’s dead not just vanished some other way? Ginka herself, if we suppose that she died in the annihilation rather than going to battle elsewhere?

If a Daemonia’s victim is resurrected, does everyone remember them again? Either way, what are the consequences of bringing back a person who’d been erased?

· ALL: Dragon Rider AU

· ALL: Fencing AU

· All: Figure skating AU

Sports aus! Two mundane, one not. I’d love to see the kids in some kind of competitive something—are they teammates? Competitors? Is Sefiro Fiore a sports organization in this world, or are they both athletes and tarot users?

· DBI: Daemonia hosts aren't erased from the timeline when killed

So, one of the generally convenient things in this world—even if it’s not a particularly nice thing—is that none of the characters ever have to deal with the fallout of the deaths they cause; the daemonia’s victims are erased. Ret-gone, if you will. But what if they weren’t? What would the effect of that be; how would that change things?

幻影ヲ駆ケル太陽 il sole penetra le illusioni | Day Break Illusion

· Fanfiction (Medium)

· Group: Hanayume & Lymro & Mama Nagataki & Taiyou Akari (Day Break Illusion)

· Group: Hanayume & Lymro & Mama Nagataki (Day Break Illusion)

fandom-specific dnw: heavy gender dysphoria.

· All: a character is transgender (binary)

· ALL: Deaf Canon Characters

· ALL: Disabled Canon Characters

· ALL: Found Family

So, again, this is the more mundane aus—add these in!! tell me how they affect things, or how they don’t affect them!

Found family is… kinda canon? But there isn’t really much focus on that aspect in canon so I’d love some more here.

· All: Changeling AU

· ALL: Character was Stolen by Fairies as a Baby

· All: Fairytale Fusion

· ALL: Fantasy/Magic Royalty and Palace Intrigue AU

· All: Historical Fantasy AU

· ALL: Magic is a part of everyday life

· ALL: Magical Realism

· ALL: Regency AU (no homophobia)

· ALL: Regency-Inspired Fantasy AU

· All: with the right postage you can send letters anywhere anywhen

And these are the magic and/or setting AUs! How do these elements change their lives; what stays the same regardless?

See my previous set of Day Break Illusion requests for my thoughts on the letters tag.

· ALL: Daemon AU

· ALL: Daemons in Canon Divergent AU

Just—daemons! What are theirs? For Hanayume—what gender is her daemon? I’m sorry I’m running out of things to say at this point…

· ALL: Dragon Rider AU

· ALL: Fencing AU

· All: Figure skating AU

So, in canon, Hanayume, Lymro, and Mama Nagataki are kind of Akari’s fortune-teller aunts/mentors; if we change it so that Akari’s thing is fencing or figure skating or dragon-riding, why not bring her aunts along for the ride as her mentors in that sport, or, if we’re not including Akari—competitors themselves, perhaps, or maybe generally teachers?

If you made it all the way down here—first of all, wow, this letter was way too long so good on you for making it—second of all—thank you again for writing for me!! Good luck!!

#exchange letters #auex #au exchange #requested: harry potter #requested: hanging out with a gamer girl #requested: mother of learning #requested: day break illusion

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