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doobea · 7 months

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DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE

synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.

-> MASTERLIST.

contents: reo centric, second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, starts from past -> present day, mentions of unrequited confessions, country farmgirl!reader -> stem major in college, insert anime cliche of riverbanks and convos about falling in love, kinda proofed word count: 4K (HUH??) a/n: i wrote this while listening to shoujo openings - lets try and find a song suited for these two (eventual) lovebirds, shall we? 'mini-series' my ass idk why the first chap came out so long??? whoops.

SUMMER TRIANGLE -> next.

Reo can’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with you.

He thinks it starts all the way back when you first transferred to Hakuho during his second year.

You were a quiet country girl whose parents had just moved to the big city all due to your father’s new job. And it was painfully obvious that it was your first time experiencing anything remotely ‘fancy’ when you came to school the first day. At the time, you were still wearing your old high school uniform, saying something about shipping getting delayed. Your skirt came almost all the way down to your ankles, your sweater vest had loose threads sticking around the edges, and your shirt still carried its creased marks.

To anyone in that school, you looked like an eyesore. Whispers about your family’s net worth, your relationship with the school’s faculty, and whether or not you cheated your way through the entrance exam began circulating.

From the moment you stepped inside the class, Reo knew you would get hell from the nation’s young elites. Reo thought by the end of the first quarter you would’ve dropped out and transferred to another school.

The first few months were rough, from what he observed. No one wanted to partner up with you for group projects, students would try to misplace your assignments, harsh messages were marred onto your desk earlier mornings before you arrived, and your gym clothes always went missing. But you stayed awfully silent, didn’t complain much, and quickly made yourself known to be the “weird, quiet farm girl”. Reo thinks everyone left you alone after you managed to score top ten in the class during finals week, despite the harassment. Still, even after all of that, no one bothered talking to you like normal and moved on to the next hot topic as if you were a dying trend.

Reo didn’t get the chance to talk to you much that year but, safe to say, he was pleasantly surprised to see you again the following semester. Instead of sitting all the way in the back of the classroom, you were seated by the windows. And the empty desk next to you? It was his.

Carefully, Reo placed his bag down on his desk, trying his best not to disturb whatever book you’re currently nose-deep in, and cleared his throat.

“Hi, I’m Reo Mikage,” he introduced himself and was taken aback when you stared at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. He figured it was because he was one of the first to genuinely say anything to you without any malicious intent behind his words.

As you softly mumbled back your name, the gentle cadence as it escaped your lips, coupled with the swift turn of your head towards the window, Reo couldn't help but be enthralled by how soft your features looked in the sunlight. You’ve always kept your appearances simple, trying to not shine too much otherwise the other students would start talking again but, for some reason, all of that made Reo drawn to you more.

While you were deskmates, the two of you didn’t talk much outside of classroom-related topics. And it was always him starting the conversations, not that he minded. Him being close friends with Nagi, who was also a social outcast, made Reo slightly more curious about you ever since the new semester started. But you kept your distance, for obvious reasons. So, after a while, he reached out to you only out of necessity.

Fast forward two months and Reo is found slipping a party invitation on your desk. Well, not specifically yours, but everyone’s desks. Word of his father’s business migration with another classmate’s family company spread like wildfire before journalists had the chance to write up a meaningless article and Reo was forcefully instructed to invite his entire class to celebrate for the occasion.

So he did.

And, of course, everyone and their parents decided to show up. There were a few students that he didn’t recognize, probably snuck in through bribery or faked the invitation — not that he ultimately cared. There were more than a handful of mothers who had proudly flaunted themselves at his father and more than a dozen other student’s fathers trying to network with Reo.

At seventeen, Reo told himself that this was something he should’ve gotten used to by now, but it honestly felt horribly embarrassing every time. Reo blocked out the comments about the lack of ‘fancier food’ and ‘decor’ in his own home and retreated upstairs to his bedroom with Nagi trailing not far from behind.

“How long do you think they’re staying for?”

“Hm?” Nagi briefly looked up from his phone, eyes focusing on Reo’s perplexed expressions as he lay in bed. The male shifts around in Reo’s office chair and taps away at his device with a shrug in response. “Dunno, when the food and drinks run out maybe?”

Reo ran a hand through his hair, brows furrowing more as sounds from outside gradually grew louder. “This always ends up happening and I don’t understand why can’t he find a reception hall to throw this.” He paused, listened closely to the voices and conversations, and scoffed. “Do you know what they’re saying right now, Nagi?”

“Ah,” Nagi frowned as a deflated noise emitted from his phone, indicating he lost a match. He went into another queue and bounced his leg against the floor in waiting. “No, what are they saying out there?”

“That they think I’ll be together with Rika by the end of this year.” Reo launched his body upright at the thought, lips pursed tightly.

Again, Nagi doesn’t bother looking up. He just landed in a new match. “That heiress? Doesn’t seem like your type.”

“Since when do you know anything about types, Nagi?” Reo was half expecting Nagi to say something dumb relating to those terrible romance novel games that he sometimes plays.

The other male shrugged again, eyes flicking up this time. “Just doesn’t seem like it, that’s all.”

“You—”

The conversation abruptly ended with a single swing of the door. The door frame nearly collided with Nagi's face, accompanied by a high-pitched yelp. Reo had invited the whole class, but this was one of the people he hadn’t really expected to show up.

You were almost unrecognizable. Hair straightened, over blushed cheeks, a lipstick color that was too mature on you. The dress you wore hugged awkwardly to your sides and the height from your heels seemed to be too tall for you to maneuver around. From one glance, he knew you were uncomfortable.

You clung to the door handle, attempting to steady yourself, evident signs of mortification settling in. “S-Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom.”

Those words almost sounded foreign to Reo. The only times you’ve spoken to him were in curt, stoic sentences either about math or science assignments. He’d never seen you this flustered or worked up before.

Reo snapped out of his inner thoughts when Nagi decided to roll out from behind the door frame with a hand over his nose. Nagi looked unphased, but the familiar dull sound from his phone proved otherwise.

“Made me lose another round,” Nagi said simply and Reo watched as you fidgetted around, almost appearing self-cautious now.

“I’m sorry?” Was all you said in response.

Reo was about to hop out of bed, the bathroom directions loaded on his tongue, until a herd of footsteps followed by loud giggles was ascending the stairs. “Wait, close the door; I don’t want anyone coming in here.” The last thing he wanted was his classmates messing around with his personal belongings.

You appeared even more bewildered. “Um, I still need to—”

“He has a bathroom in his room, don’t worry,” Nagi interjected.

You were quick to believed Nagi's words and shut the door before heads peeked from the staircase. Reo shot his friend a questioning look as you shuffle your way to his bathroom and Nagi merely shrugged once again. Reo found himself thinking, finding that his plan of hiding away had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and awkward with you being in the picture. They both stayed quiet until you walked out, eyes facing everywhere but the two of them.

Reo's voice jolted you back to reality. “Sorry if this sounds rude but why are you here?” Okay, no matter how he would've phrased it, it did sound rude.

You didn't seem to mind it, probably already used to the harsh treatment. “My parents saw the invitation and got excited. They bought all these things for me last minute and dropped me off. I only said yes to coming because they were worried I wasn’t making any friends.” You explained, your steady nonchalant tone masking a layer of vulnerability.

Reo felt vaguely guilty at the response. Maybe he should've skipped your desk altogether? No, that would've been borderline bullying, he thought. Still, you shouldn't have been pressured to go.

“Did you want to hang out here instead?” Nagi casually offered up as if it was his house too. “We’re avoiding everyone else.”

“Nagi—!”

“What?” Nagi blinked at Reo in confusion, cocking his head slightly. “It’s written all over your face.”

He doesn't even know what expression he's making right now. All that Reo hoped was that you don't end up saying anything weird the next day. Not that he assumed you would be the type but, judging from how his guests acted earlier, he felt safer keeping his guard up.

There was a momentary pause, and then you gave a small nod, eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and relief. “Only if you’re fine with it.”

"Shouldn't matter to us," Nagi answered.

Reo considers this particular moment to be the turning point in your close friendship. It was his party, but almost everyone attending seemed to have forgotten his whereabouts soon after he disappeared.

At first, he was hesitant to talk about his thoughts or just about anything really, but Nagi didn't seem to care. As you and Nagi engaged in a somewhat awkward conversation about video games – or rather, Nagi half-scolding you for making him lose – Reo, after finally getting tired of listening, spent the remainder of the time venting about the various students and teachers at school.

That was nearly two years ago.

As the first year of college draws to a close, the three of you, on a spontaneous whim, decided to host a modest celebration in Reo and Nagi's shared apartment, only sending out invites to a handful of your close classmates.

You arrive about two hours before everyone else with the cake and drinks in hand, letting the door shut behind you as you rush into the kitchen. Nagi’s sitting on the countertop in the corner, attempting his best to unravel some of the cheesy party decorations that you insisted on getting, and Reo is pouring a weird red jello shot mixture into tiny plastic cups in the living room.

The three of you haven’t realized just how busy everything would be after starting college. Hangouts would only be frequent maybe once or twice a week, but everyone’s schedule was all over the place. You had your three-hour labs, Reo signed up to become Treasurer and President for two student organizations, and Nagi pretty much slept all day as soon he came back from lectures. Now, with this year finally coming to an end, Reo is finally looking forward to spending more time with everyone with summer nearing.

“Do we really need this many streamers?” Nagi is sighing as he swings his legs back and forth.

He managed to string a couple of them into long-wrapped strands but gave up halfway. There’s a bag of animal headbands next to him, so he fiddles with them next, claiming a bear-themed one for himself.

You set down the items on the counter and waltz over to his side, immediately fishing through the bag for your own pair. “We do and—,” Reo watches your lips upturn right as you reach over to Nagi, adjusting his headband and fixing his hair in the process. “—the bear suits you well.”

Nagi hums in thought and leans into your touch, seemingly unaware of your flustered state. “Think so?”

“I—uh yeah, you’re like a big bear sometimes…”

He helps you dig through the bag and pulls out a headband with cat ears. Without hesitation, Nagi tucks your hair back slightly and carefully places it onto your head. A satisfied faint smile makes its way onto his face. “It looks cute on you.”

Reo almost spills the remanding liquid all over the coffee table from the scene and breaks away from the before it evolves into something more. He hears you trying to say something back, maybe a ‘thank you’ or a compliment, but it comes out as incoherent noises and soft mumbles. And, although tonight is supposed to be reserved for a well deserved celebration, Reo can’t help but to think he doesn’t even feel like he belongs in his own apartment right now.

“What do you think, Reo?” Nagi calls out.

“What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t she look cute in them?”

Reo pours the last bits of the liquid into the cups and glances over. It takes everything in him to not turn the slightest shade of red because you look do look ridiculously cute in that headband.

He sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry. “Looks the same to me.”

You roll your eyes and blow one back. “I was gonna assign you the bunny eared one but now you’re getting the rat.”

Reo chooses to not say anything back, not that it really mattered. He gets up and places the empty pitcher into the sink and focuses his attention to the dining room. The table is a bit messy, cluttered with stacks of his business textbooks and your forgotten stationary supplies. He has food catered that’ll be arriving within the next hour, so he spends this time cleaning and setting up the area.

Their dining room goes vastly unused with how often Reo and Nagi eat out. Because of this, Reo settled with a small table tucked in the kitchen corner that’s mainly used as a storage area rather than eating—so it’s kind of nice seeing it finally being used for its intended purpose.

It’s you, him, Nagi, Chigiri, Isagi, and Bachira that eventually congregate around the area. Before the party, Reo tells his friends not to bring any gifts or extra food, but they show up with them anyway. Chigiri brings over a really good sushi bake while Isagi and Bachira gift Reo a shitty Ouija board for whatever reason and… well the party is actually pretty nice.

Way different from all the other stuffy parties Reo grew up with and he thinks this might be the only party where he’s surrounded by people he cares about. No serious conversations about the family business or his future plans, just really lame attempts to call out whatever spirits Bachira thinks lives in their outdated fireplace.

“That was fun,” You say quietly after everyone else leaves.

The apartment is a little bit messy, even though Isagi did most of the heavy-duty cleanup. There are still some dishes piled up in the sink and confetti peppered all over the living area but Reo will procrastinate on that for tonight.

He’s sprawled on the couch, head thrown back as he melts his entire body weight onto the furniture, tired and socially drained for the night. He only looks to the side when you plop down in the tiny empty space next to him, face deep in thought and cheeks warm. Reo knows that look. He’s seen it maybe over a hundred times at this point.

It’s about Nagi Seishiro.

“I think I’m gonna do it tonight.” You’re whispering into his ear and Reo picks up on the sweet, subtle perfume laced around your neck. It seems like you had just applied it moments before coming over.

He forces a smile and glosses over a fake veil of excitement. “Oh, finally? You’re not going to chicken out like the last couple of times?”

You smack his arm, cheeks puffed out. “I’m not! I’m taking your advice for once. Better now than never, you know?”

“Yeah,” Reo says, maybe a bit too fast.

His mind is racing, along with the drumming in his chest, because you’re not joking around this time. The look in your eyes tells him that you’re serious and he feels really confused. Reo has been encouraging you since high school to get with Nagi and, now that you’re actually following through, he doesn’t know what to make of it.

Maybe it’s his ego, pride, or just plain possessiveness that’s driving him mad. But he knows better than to wish anything but happiness for his two best friends. Nagi, although more introverted and aloof, has become more open whenever you’re around and you two do make a good couple—at least that’s what Reo convinces himself.

He finds himself dozing off against the balcony railing outside on the apartment’s porch while you go off to find Nagi in his room. Reo scans the area, taking in the dim orange lights from the street lamps on campus and the warm inviting late spring breeze. It’s a decent distraction.

The college campus is really nice, an old one, with lots of mature trees, and stretches of green between the buildings, all connected with little cobblestone walkways. It’s almost like stepping back in time because Tokyo is a large, sprawling city. Reo decides he likes it. It’s way different from his past life, very jarring from his lavish big, but empty, mansion with butlers and maids alike, his old home was so different than this new, slower-paced way of life.

Reo’s over himself when hears the porch door slide from behind him, he doesn’t need to turn around to know that it’s you. And, judging from the way your body flops against the railing, he concludes that it didn’t go well. It’s strange, he thought Nagi would’ve reciprocated the feelings back at least a little bit. Reo makes a mental note to privately ask his friend about it later.

He avoids your gaze and continues to stare at the city skyline in the distance, waiting for you to say the first word.

After a while, you sigh. “Do you… do you think he’ll be uncomfortable around me?”

Reo feels his heart stuttering in his chest. “Of course not,” He answers quickly and relaxes when he sees the frown on your features slowly disappearing. “Nagi’s not the type to easily throw away a good friendship.” Reo knows that by heart.

You groan and bury your face into your palms, shrinking more into your oversized campus hoodie. “I’m so dumb, Reo…” Your voice comes out muffled and strained. “I should’ve never said anything.”

Reo wrestles with the thought that he’s an asshole for thinking quite the opposite. On one hand, he's relieved that you got rejected, but on the other hand, witnessing your heart break doesn't make things any easier for him. He’s still your friend at the end of the day.

He refrains the urge to extend his arms, grab your shoulders, and draw you into the warmth of his chest. Suppressing the desire to run his fingers through your hair, tenderly massage your scalp, and whisper that everything will be okay—that he's by your side. Instead, Reo opts for a laugh, presenting you with his credit card. “Let’s set him aside for a moment and concentrate on you.”

You peer up from your sleeves, immediately widening your eyes in disbelief and then shooting him a half-glare. “I’m not gonna be spending your money, Reo. You can’t fix a broken heart with that.”

“Yeah,” Reo softly agrees, face crescent fallen briefly before recovering. He shuffles towards you, just close enough so that your shoulders touch. “But I know where we can go.”

Your eyes sparkle at the idea, already knowing the exact location Reo is mentioning. There’s a quaint riverbank not too far from the campus and high school, the one that you would always go to whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or upset. Reo knows that it reminds you of home, the countryside, and listening to the steady streams helps calm your nerves.

With Nagi likely cooped up in his room, the two of you sneak out of the apartment, and the night air wraps around you both like a comforting blanket.

By the time you two arrive at the riverbank, you find a comfortable spot to lie down near the top of the hill. Reo joins next to you, the cool grass beneath him contrasting with the warmth of his body. Slowly, the heaviness that lingered from earlier begins to dissipate.

Reo lies on his side, the night enveloping the two of you in a cocoon of solitude. His voice, gentle and warm, breaks the silence, "Hey," he faintly calls out your name. Patiently, he waits until your body turns to mirror his, until you're just inches away, and the distant sounds of passing cars fade into the background.

It annoys him how clueless you are, how you’re able to be physically bold and unapologetically yourself when around him but, when it comes to Nagi, you turn into a stuttering, blushing mess. He selfishly wishes to have that all to himself. “Why don’t you fall in love with me instead?”

Reo watches your eyes widen, mirroring the same motions you did when he first introduced himself to you, and your body reacts first before you’re able to construct words. You kick him, admittedly harder than he would’ve liked, followed by an immediate apology.

“That was a joke, right? Like a really, really, really bad joke?”

Pretending not to feel the pang in his chest, Reo rubs his shin and forces a chuckle, his arm thrown over his face to conceal any hint of redness that might betray him in the night. “Yeah, thought it would cheer you up somehow,” he lamely replies.

The sound of your huff and shuffling suggests you turned away, likely out of annoyance. Reo senses a momentary pause, and he thinks you might be on the verge of tears again until you murmur, “Love is so complicated.”

A twitch courses through him and he swallows hard against a lump in his throat before joining the conversation, “People do a lot of things when they’re in love. You confessing to Nagi tonight was out of love.”

“Yeah, I just wished it was easy to… I guess, understand.”

“Love happens randomly and doesn’t need reasons. If love was easy to understand then most of our world’s problems would go away.”

“Have you ever been in love, Reo?”

"I have," he answers truthfully. As you shuffle some more, he peeks from under his arm to find your face wide, brimming with curiosity. Reo sets his arm aside and smirks. "What makes you think I’m gonna tell you?"

You’re toying with the hem of your hoodie, looking like you’re about to jump to your feet. “Because I just got my heart broken tonight and I feel like maybe the least you can do is tell me who you like?”

“Let me think,” Reo fake ponders for a few seconds and then shakes his head. “Nah, don’t think so.”

You kick him again, this time very softly. “You’re no fun,” you whine, but there’s something so sincere to it that Reo’s heart aches again. “Can you at least tell me when you fell in love?”

His laugh comes out weak and hoarse, feeling the sudden need to look away but he doesn’t. Reo stares straight into your eyes because he knows that no matter how hard he tries, you’ll never get it unless he spells it out for you. “I became aware of it when I was sitting next to them.”

You start laughing, as he expected, but it's lighthearted and innocent. Reo doesn't feel insulted—at least not yet. “It was love at first sight?”

He's definitely a tomato right now, he can feel it in his face. “More like first interaction...” Reo mumbles out, now facing the river.

“Well, whoever they are, they're lucky to have someone like you crushing over them.”

“Yeah, I guess they are lucky.”

TAGLIST - OPEN

@celestair @kitorin @popponn @yoisami @anurst @katsukiiishoe @yuzurins @vitaniangel-blog @kunikame @miwafei @astruoise @faeroow @wooasecret @limerence-lu @jaynawayna

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #doobea writing #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage #DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE

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thydungeongal · 27 days

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apologies if this has been asked already, but I'm curious as to why you enjoy monsterhearts so much? you recommend it because the mechanics support narrative arc, due to the way the skins are narratively connected to a certain high school clique. but I found that to be the most frustrating part of the game, honestly.

I was constantly hitting my head against the narrative and my character because it felt like there was only one way to really play a skin and their arc. one of my favorite things to do in ttrpgs is to Subvert classes and tropes, but in monsterhearts your relationship to your class (and the mechanics that go with it) feel either static or inevitable. The Queen is always the Queen Bee, which I guess makes sense, but it simply feels boring.

your monsterheart post was in response to why everyone likes d&d warlock, and op said its because warlock's mechanics are strictly tied to its narrative, but i disagree: I think a lot of people, me included, like warlock because of the Choices and freedoms that come with the class. you didn't Have to play a warlock with a direct, antagonistic, and codependent conflict with their patron. because the game does not have any specific mechanics for patrons, you can kind of do whatever with them.

I always think that limits will make someone think more creatively in those bounds, and I was hoping monsterheart would have that sort of creative energy, but when I was playing it, I felt like I was wrangling the rules and my own moveset at every turn.

am i simply not viewing the game in the right way? is it just not for me? am i not being creative enough? I'm trying to get over the mindset that rules are the enemy, but idk. i just haven't been able to really get into smaller ttrpgs except like, troika! (which i do love a lot tbh), and i want to know what I'm missing. sorry for the long, rambling question

It might simply not be for you. For me the fact that the skins each represent a clear narrative trope within high school drama that has ways that the rules encourage them to act in (those ways being Bad because the point of the game is to produce explosive melodrama) is a net positive, because the character skins are not just "classes" but also archetypes. And while within a single skin the narrative arc of the character can feel like it's prewritten it never exists in isolation: there are always the other PCs, the rest of the school, and the town the characters live in, as well as whatever Threat threatens the town this time. All of those, in combination, are what makes the arc and what makes the narrative truly emergent. Monsterhearts really shines as a game where the PCs are at each other's throats and working at cross purposes, and because of that the best experience comes from approaching it via simply producing the most fun melodrama while trying to fuck with the other characters.

Also I do think there's something to be said for the freedom afforded by the Warlock in D&D in having the license to consider the character's relationship to their patron, but I also see that there being very little meat to the relationship with the patron, mechanically, means that there is also very little narrative weight attached to it. Because narratives in RPGs emerges from mechanics. The Warlock is a great example of a class that has well-established ties to the fiction of the world and that suggests drama, but still leaves all of that up to the group. Or, as @rathayibacter said in the replies to that post:

the thing that kills me is that, rules as written, your warlock patron doesnt actually matter. dnd gives zero tools to the players or gms for how to get a warlock's patron involved in the game outside a few vague suggestions. it's the best the game's got to offer, and its still 95% people bringing their own soup to the restaurant that only sells stale crackers.

Anyway, D&D also has strong character archetypes for the point of the game it's mechanically most opinionated about: combat. While people do complain about Rogues doing nothing but sneak attack all day, that's literally what the fiction sets them up to do, and a Rogue that sneak attacks all day in D&D is doing God's own work. So too with the Mortal who ends up in the middle of a romantic triangle/square/pentacle in Monsterhearts thus making the situation more fucked up, because that drama is what the mechanics of Monsterhearts are concerned with.

But yeah tastes on this do vary and some people are okay with background stuff being just suggestions, but I personally like it when it is actually in harmony with and supported by the mechanics, because that makes the fiction tangibly real in the game. But idk

#thydungeongal answers

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snorlaxlovesme · 2 months

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thoughts and feelings about the Netflix's Live Action Avatar, now that I've finished:

overall, net positive! as i said in my previous post about the first 3 episodes [x], i'm someone who goes into adaptations with minimal expectations, treating it more like fanfiction, so I can spend more time enjoying myself than being a butthurt baby, so with that in mind i can say that I enjoyed myself a lot! there are episodes that i'm actually really excited to rewatch (5 and 6 are bangers and i won't be told otherwise)

i'm not going to lie and claim that any of the actors will be winning Daytime Emmys, but there were a few standout performances for me at least:

-Zuko was incredible. i love the way this version leaned into Zuko's desperation to capture the Avatar, because now he finally had a real chance of being able to come home after all these years. his acting pre- and post-Agni Kai in the flashbacks felt so sincere. his optimism was adorable before the war meeting and his shattered expression after Ozai banished him was fucking heartbreaking.

-i really loved the boy who played Aang. he was so charming and cute! and i think as the episodes went along he gradually got better at displaying more subtle emotion. for such a young child actor i thought he was doing amazing

-Sokka's actor was putting in work in the back half! i was impressed! the first half of the show I was pretty neutral about Sokka's acting but the more development he got the more I appreciated what his actor was bringing to the table. i think he just needed to be paired with the right acting partners in a scene to bring out the best of his abilities. Katara didn't give him much to work off of, but his scenes with Sai and Yue really hit

-Zhao was great too! they really re-worked his character to be a lot more important from the jump and i loved seeing how underhanded he was being during all of Zuko's quest. normally seeing Zhao on-screen just annoys me but i loved this version and how patronizing he was to Zuko

-idk man every time Gyatso was on screen I was crying. that's just how it is. every time i saw his face it felt like a warm hug

i think the weird part of this adaptation is that the parts that were adapted were pretty mid (or sometimes just bad) in a lot of cases, but whenever they added in their own original ideas it really shined! i feel like that's not the case with a lot of adaptation, people want to see what they know, but honestly if they added in more of their own original writing in s2 I would not be mad because i loved what these writers were bringing to the table (for the most part)

-i've already said that the way they structured ep 1 to include the start of the war was awesome. that was a cool change to show the audience from the jump that they weren't planning on boring everyone with a one-to-one(but worse) adaptation. it also set the tone really well bc my GOD do firebenders be setting people on fire in this show

-big fan of the early inclusion of Kyoshi and the idea that Aang can only convene with past Avatars at their temples. that was not a Hard Rule in the original and it always felt weird to me that sometimes he needed to be at a certain place on a certain day to communicate with his past lives but then in the finale he just had to meditate wherever he was. but yeah, they used Kyoshi lore from the novels and did indeed lose my mind about it

-Zuko and the 41st division. that was SUCH a cool storyline that was woven in starting at episode ONE and i was genuinely impressed with how hard it hit. i didn't see that coming and it had me CRYINGGGG. so yeah, BIG thumbs up for that original storyline. and also they inclusion of the post-Agni Kai Zuko recovering in the hospital and getting banished for claiming that maybe the weak just need the opportunity to get strong. heartbreaking, devastating on its own (Zuko's actor truly was killing me, i loved him so much) but once we see Zuko and Azula start going toe-to-toe next season that line will hurt me even more

-the bonding moment about calligraphy between Aang and Zuko was a really good bait and switch. in the original Blue Spirit episode Zuko didn't talk to Aang at all before firing at him. i like that i was expecting it to play out the same way as before but instead they had a moment of connection before Aang triggered Zuko and all potential for empathy was lost.

-which seems like a good time to address Zuko's character. i want to be clear when i say that i liked something because it was different from the original, it doesn't mean that i like it BETTER than the original. i simply think the new version is fun fanfiction that was written better than i expected. so when i say i like how they dealt with Zuko's obsession with honor, i'm in no way implying it's superior to the original. simply a good different

-anyways. in the original, Zuko's obsession with honor is fully connected to his need to be wanted by his father again. OZAI is the only one who can restore it, and it can only be restored by completing an impossible task for him. in the Netflix version it almost seems like Zuko's honor is tied to the disillusion that the Fire Nation itself is honorable. the bit about Lieutenant...Yi? sorry i'm getting his name wrong, but Lieutenant Yi gossiping about a superior officer, Zuko's disbelief that the Fire Nation would ever use such underhanded tactics like planting spies in Omashu, it was clear to me that Zuko bought into a rigid sense of morality and honor when it came to the Fire Nation. i hope we see more of that in s2 so that we can see Zuko's world truly rocked when he and Iroh become refugees

-Katara being hailed as a master was very sweet! i wish she would have gotten SOME training from Paku (could still happen at the start of book 2) but I did enjoy that during the Siege of the North that she got her own little battalion to command bc she was seen as worth warrior

-OH and I love how they explored Sokka's character. again, them taking out Sokka's blatant sexism didn't bother me, so i was happy to see that in taking that out they DID work hard to make Sokka's character motivations rich and meaningful. having him have the same complex about being a lacking warrior as the original cartoon but with the added twist of overhearing his dad's harsh words about his abilities really added something to Sokka's insecurities. i loved the inclusion of Sai encouraging Sokka to become an engineer because it was clear how much that meant to him. considering in the cartoon he does become a pretty badass warrior (while still being mainly an Idea Guy) i wonder how this storyline will play out later. if he'll try harder to fit into the warrior box he thinks he belongs in or if he'll blatantly begin to reject that role for himself and identify more heavily with his engineer side

-the cave of two lovers had me worried for a second because Sokka and Katara were paired together for that and im like UMMM so i thought it was pretty funny how they reinterpreted "love is brightest in the dark" in that scene. not as good as the original, obviously, but a funny reinterpretation that i didn't hate

i probably have more to say on the additions but this is getting long so i think it's time to get to some criticisms. this show was not perfect by any means and i have several gripes with it so i might as well get that out now

-WAIT first i must say that a lot of the bending looked phenomenal. particularly Zuko and Aang's bending. both actors (and their stunt doubles) were great martial artists and the fire effects and air effects were done really well. i was really worried about how they'd adapt airbending (since air is invisible) and they did a great job adding in dust cloud effects and making sure the props in the scene moved they like would if they were blasted by air

-AND i must emphasize that i was not mad at them chopping up storylines and mixing them together. the Mechanist/Jet plotlines had similar themes of seemingly Good People doing unethical things for what they believed to be a good cause, so putting them in the same episode made sense to me. and having Sokka and Katara getting spirited away and caught up in that mist (a fun LOK reference that time, i loved the easter eggs) and then captured by Koh was a good way to separate them from Aang the Blue Spirit arc could take place. that also made sense to me. people who get mad about the re-shuffling of episodes frustrate me to no end.

okay, now onto critique:

-unfortunately, Iroh was a giant flop. i don't know how else to say it. i didn't really like any part of him, from his costuming to his writing to his acting. something about him felt like he was plucked out of a campy low-budget stage play and just thrown into this show while only know his campy stage play lines. both Zuko and Zhao give pretty grounded, emotional performances and Iroh is SO jarring by comparison when he's in the same room as them acting like a caricature of himself for no reason. his wig was terrible, i wish they had made it more flowy because it stayed the same shape and position the whole time, he used the WEIRDEST announcer voice the whole time (like why are you using a voice?? no one else is using a voice??), and his robes seemed out of place when everyone else was wearing leather armor. and they had a moment in episode 4 where an Earth Kingdom soldier really laid into him because back when Iroh was a general he was responsible for the death of Earth Kingdom soldier's brother. i was interested to see this bc we BARELY get to see Iroh's Bad Side in the cartoon and i was curious to see where the live action would go with it. but it ended with Earth Kingdom soldier slugging Iroh or slapping his face or something and Iroh made some snoody remark about how war changes people, and he WASN'T talking about himself. like bro this man just told you you COOKED his brother alive he has earned the right to slug you, what are you talking about! i was expecting remorse, or at the very least a solemn look of guilt over the person Iroh once was, but nothing. it was bad. obviously having the iconic Uncle Iroh be so terrible is a huge mark against the show. i simply cannot defend that

-circling back to Iroh's wig. well. the hair and make-up department went out of their way to make important characters look like their cartoon counterparts and that was not always beneficial. why did Yue look like she was from Whoville. who okayed that.

-many people have already pointed it out, but it was weird in ep 1 that Aang's decision to leave was because he needed to clear his head, not because he was running away from his responsibilities. i have no idea why they made this change, unless the reason was to have every single person (including past Avatars) dog on Aang for not being around during the past 100 years. but even that doesn't hit the same bc it truly wasn't his fault! he went for a drive and got caught in a storm! he intended to be back in a few hours! idk that change didn't make sense to me. i know Aang felt guilt regardless but the guilt was supposed to be from the intentionality of Aang running away

-the way Katara broke Aang out of the iceberg was weird?? she wasn't angry at Sokka for his sexism, but she could have been angry at him for SOMETHING that caused her bending to grow out of control. or at the very least when she was bending the canoe towards her she could have done a sharp pulling motion towards her that ended with her arms behind her, therefore forming the cracks in the ice (kind of a callback to how in the pilot Katara could really only waterbend backwards at first). instead her hands were fully facing forward and she was gently bending in front of her and that led to the ice sphere exploding behind her. its been bothering me. whyyy

-character-wise, Katara was pretty one-note. like the addition of her guilt for getting her mom killed with her subpar waterbending, while not bad, didn't make up for how much she DIDN'T have going on. it felt like they toned down a lot of Katara's character strengths AND flaws to give Sokka more room to arc, then shoved all of Katara's development into the last 2 episodes. they didn't show much of her resilient hope in the face of adversity or rage towards injustice or how petty she could be. part of this could be her actor, who i won't dog on because she is a child actor who will get better with time, but i don't think the flimsy writing of her did her any favors

-score wasn't nearly as good as Jeremy Zuckerman/The Track Team's. remixing some of the A:TLA's score doesn't make up for the fact that all the original scoring in this adaptation was flat by comparison

-Bumi's whole thing was....weird. i didn't mind at first that they speedran through his reveal because i don't think there's a point to try and surprise the three people who haven't seen the original. 99% of the audience knew the King was Bumi, so I didn't see any problem with that. but the set-up flashback of Bumi lasted like 10 seconds and basically just showed him snort. it didn't give you a reason to get attached to him as Aang's past friend. and his current actions didn't help at all. the acting was very Michael Meyer's Cat in the Hat-esque. so. uh. SCARY AND OFFPUTTING. was not a fan of that all. and having him do a few random goofy tests for Aang AFTER already knowing his identity felt...weird? like what's the point of these now? and then having the reveal that he's NOT kooky, he genuinely IS pissed at Aang for being gone, well. hmm. it's not a bad idea in theory. i liked the concept of having someone FROM THIS TIMELINE (looking at you, Kyoshi, Roku, and Kuruk, and your unjustified rage toward Aang) be upset at Aang for leaving the world in such a state of imbalance. having Bumi be like DO YOU KNOW ALL THE SHIT I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH SINCE THE WORLD HAS HAD NO AVATAR, was an interesting line of thought i could have rocked with, butttt.....idk man. it's BUMI. he's supposed to be a living memory of Aang's past to give him comfort and wisdom! it hurt to see this version be so cruel to Aang and basically force him to try to kill him just to prove a point. i would have rather had them write out Bumi altogether and use that episode for something else than to smear his name like that

-i'm tentatively alright with Azula's plotline right now. the Zuko line "Azula was born lucky, I was lucky to be born" is really essential to how their rivalry worked in the cartoon. Azula was a cold-hearted prodigy while Zuko was compassionate boy but average bender. i liked the idea of showing how Ozai intentionally pitted his children against each other. i liked seeing Azula's moment of defiance where she claims she's DONE being tested because she know how good her abilities are. i liked seeing the origin of her lighting bending. all of those were cool fanfiction. the thing that worries me is that we, the audience, have already seen Azula's doubt in herself, something we weren't privy to until the very end of the series. plus showing how hard Azula trains kind of undercuts the fact that Zuko is supposed to think he can't measure up to her because of her natural abilities that he DOESN'T have. they DID plant the seed to Zuko that Azula was the one backing Zhao the whole time, so we do have some of their rivalry primed to go. but the rivalry in the original is extremely one-sided. it will be odd to see Azula fighting just as hard to earn Ozai's affection, because intrinsically she should think that game was won a long time ago. so yeah. i'm not mad about it YET, just interested to see how it plays out

and then there are little nitpicks that could be resolved in season 2, should it get picked up again

-Aang not learning any waterbending or burning Katara with firebending can be woven into the early eps of season 2 before Toph's introduction

-the gaang's chemistry will only grow stronger with time. as the cast becomes better friends, as the kids become better actors with age, and considering they don't separate much in s2, i have faith that will iron itself out naturally

-tbh im sure there are more but this is so long i'm fizzling out. i'm fading. i must stop.

but yeah! good and bad! there's lots to unpack but in general i think it was fun. i'm excited for more.

#netflix avatar #long post #i am. exhausted.#writing this took so long

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mamamittens · 12 days

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Well, I got halfway through a comm, so there's that. Then I realized it was Whoops All Set Up and I hadn't considered how to write the interactions to lead up to that smut so I took a step back to think it over.

I was asked for fluffy romcom and I'll be damned if I don't deliver it!

But that's a later problem, here's me rambling about ideas for an alternative shine riolu design for Platinum, Fin's service pokemon.

So, I decided against keeping canon colors and mostly the same design cause damnit, I still don't like the yellow.

I'm sure game freak had lovely reasons for the yellow but I hate it.

Away it goes!

And anyway, while I was at it, I figured I'd further tweak the design to highlight how Platinum was specifically picked for Finley. Perhaps as a favor from someone who was really moved by her tragic backstory.

Silver, her original Abra, looked pretty normal aside from a spiky ring on his tail. But that's more because it was pretty early in the days of Designer Breeding more geared towards unique iterations of pokemon. Particularly driven by the growing market for coordinators trying to get a leg up. And as a standard ish support pokemon he didn't need to look outstanding, just more identifiable if something happened.

So I decided towards a slightly artistic inspiration.

A mostly silver/gray coat explains the name easily enough. And I do like the original color pallette so I kept the blue/black. They also look unexpectedly tall and that's partly because I suck at the proportions but idk, maybe Platinum is just unusually tall as well lol

The flourishes make Plat look more rugged and (according to my roommate) dirty lol. But it's meant to be like paint brushes and paint splatter. Had no interest in a rainbow baby or anything too crazy.

The goofy leg/pant bulge looks more like a deliberate attempt to imply shorts, which I appreciate more than trying to figure out wtf canon is doing with that drumstick butt (or frankly dick shaped torso, it's so damn close to being a dick, I can't unseen it and I'm sorry you won't be able to either).

This is without any support pokemon gear. A vest is the obvious choice but when he evolves it'll have to be adjusted cause of the chest spike Lucario has. Maybe I'll just stick to a bandana? Or a belt?

...ah, I forgot to try the button... Well, whatever. I like it as is regardless. It's a little fancy but not too busy? If anything I might get rid of the 'holes' in the dark sections so it's just paint splatter inspired.

Be easier to draw at least lol

Idk if I mentioned earlier but Fin's official job is illustration/painting. Mostly for books and other projects she can consult for and do at home rather than travel. Very much a home body until the start of the fic when she decides she's well enough to handle it. Likes watercolor specifically for painting personal projects such as her old team's books or for friends (when she finally has them). But does oils, acrylics, murals, and mixed mediums as well.

Perhaps Platinum was a 'thank you' gift for a personal mural from a breeder who put Platinum through official support pokemon courses.

Despite being a support pokemon, Platinum is just as happy in a battle as any other riolu. His first duty is just to Fin though. So he would be more likely than most to forfeit a match if his trainer showed too much distress or lash out unexpectedly in times of peril.

This both pairs well with the rest of her destined team and against one specifically who would rather be doing that themselves. But for now I'll leave it at that lol.

Platinum will be her only special/shiny Pokemon. Unlike Edna, she doesn't have any connections or unexpected 'gifts' netting her rare pokemon.

#mittens muses #mittens update #custom pokemon design #ill die a hater for shiny riolu/lucario #maybe its meant to be gold but pokemon doesnt do enough color work to make it clear visually #so instead theyre just little lemonaid doggos #better than that weird green shade they keep going back to tho #ill give them that ig

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seo-changbinnies · 3 years

Photo

“the world shakes along with the sound of your heartbeat ..... look around i’m trapped in silence”

married to the music x up all night

#stray kids #shinee #createskz #bystay #staysource #idk any shinee nets #stray kids gifs #shinee gifs #eyestrain #my.gifs #i immediately thought of mttm when up all night dropped #pls if you have not watched the married to the music mv pls do it is so fun and funky

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tinysushimark · 3 years

Text

Ring (JS)

engaged johnny au! mentions of sex, savage y/n :) 0.657 words, angst(?) mentions of cheating, alcohol.

an/ idk how i wrote this without any curse words :)

"Johnny baby, pass me the salt."

"It's salty tho."

"Just give it to me!"

"Showing off your ring are you?"

"Your ex is staring!" You said and Johnny smiled a little, passing you the salt.

You both had decided to go out on a dinner, and that is when you had spotted his ex, sitting just opposite to your table, her eyes judging your figure little by little every time you laughed at a joke that Johnny had cracked. She probably did not know that you and Johnny got engaged a month ago.

You flaunted your ring every chance you got, but you didn't know there'd come a chance where you'd encounter Johnny's ex.

Johnny on the other hand, found all of this very amusing, an ex he absolutely hated and his fiancé in a battle of wits, he knew that you had already won but he was enjoying what he could.He kissed your hand more than he usually does and entangled his fingers with yours every single minute.

You played along because you knew how much she regretted leaving him anyways, so you wanted to tell her for sure that she's never getting him back and that he's strictly yours, and Johnny loved this about you more than anything else. He loved the fact that you were always ready to tell people that he's yours and no one else's. You'd stare into people's eyes when they started checking him out and he was absolutely amazed every time you'd shrug off another passerby who dared to look at your man.

When his ex's eyes fell upon the huge diamond shining on your ring finger, her eyes squinted, your hands then travelled to your ear, slowly touching your earrings, Johnny had gotten them as a present. Her eyes then widened. You smirked and fixed your hair, and then your eyes fixed with Johnny. "What is she doing?" He took another bite of his delightful stake.

"Saw my ring." You said and leaned in to resume eating.

"If she hasn't changed she'll walk up to us and try to ruin our date."

"Guess she didn't change." You sipped your wine and smiled at Johnny as his ex walked up to your table.

"Hey John." She said, her voice a higher tone than the usual. "Hey Sarah." Johnny said, clearly annoyed. "Oh hello Y/n." Sarah said, her eyes then glared into yours as if she was in a competition. Johnny slowly coughed to break the tension between you two, "Thanks for bringing me to this place John! My new boyfriend really enjoys it."

"Guess recycling is your thing." You said and Johnny scoffed. "What?"

"Isn't he the guy who I dated? Jaehwa?"

"What do you mean?"

"Left him coz he was too weak in bed, I think he's good enough for you though." You said and sipped your wine slowly. Sarah glared at you and then turned to Johnny, "Let's catch up someday shall we?"

"He has tonnes of people to catch up with, you were definitely not on the list babe."

"I'm having a conversation with Johnny, not you!"

"He's my man, and I don't want him to waste his time talking to trash, he already took it out."

Johnny's eyebrows danced a little as he twirled the wine in his glass, "Why did you come here?"

"To congratulate you on your engagement."

"Could have just done that and left Sarah, do you like getting insulted? Don't say you haven't encountered my fiancé before, you know her better than me."

Sarah then rolled her eyes slightly and walked away.

"Can't believe she cheated on you with that disaster in bed." You sighed and looked down at your food picking out the peas.

"Well at least she created the beautiful disaster called us when she left."

You smiled at him and your arms slipped around his waist, his hand wrapped around your shoulder.

"My ring's pretty isn't it?"

taglist: @jenoly-simp @taemin-jaemin @bluejaem @jaemotel @coffeevddict @dreamyyang @chunbyun

if you wanna be added to my taglist drop you @'s here.

networks: @pretty-neos @superm-net

Read More: Masterlist

#johnny suh #johnny suh imagines #nctsfw #nct 127 imagines #nct angst #nct writers #nct networks #nct u x reader #johnny imagines

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bowieandqueen11 · 4 years

Text

I’m An Idiot / Richie Tozier Fluff

Request: Hi! I was wondering if I could have a Richie x reader (18 years old) where he has had a crush on the reader since the whole IT situation but never acted on it until he hears they are moving to go and attend college and it’s a whole sweet thing where he is outside her house practicing what to say and she hears it through her window or something? Idk if that’s clear or not. Thank you! Also I LOVE your writings! Hope you have a wonderful day/night! 💕

It’s been so long since I’ve written for Richie holy moly but this is so cute!!

Warning, some strong language!

Reblogs and comments much appreciated!

Richie Tozier couldn’t stop hopping.

When he woke up, shoving his duvet on the floor and grabbing the first Hawaiian shirt laying askew on his desk chair, he was shaking. When he shoved Eddie’s face out of the way as he tripped over him on the way to his door, he was trembling, although Eddie only snorted and rolled over in his sleeping bag to go back to snoring. If he knew that he was actually doing this, if Bill knew, although he was still sprawled out and half falling off the beanbag, that he was finally going to muster up the courage to confess to you before you left the Losers, he would never hear the end of it. When he shut the front door, squeezing his lips together so as not to wake his parents, he was beginning to jump from foot to foot.

‘Come on, Tozier, you fought a child eating clown. You’ve got the high score on every game in the Arcade. Heck, you’ve even made Eddie Spaghetti laugh out loud and spit his milkshake all over Ben’s face. You’re hilarious, you’re a fantastic catch-’

Kicking a can off of the road, he sighed to himself as he passed Derry library, his breath fogging up his glasses in the early modern light.

‘Who are you kidding, you’re just a Loser. She’s totally going to reject you. Shit!’

Crunching over the grass by the school, he finally hopes on his breaking down, creaking bike, and fills the empty streets with the sound of his wheels spinning and his heart thumping with each cycle. The dew shines in the first rays of the rising sun, brightening his sneakers with a glint as his tracks leave their own footprints on the grass - the only path to show that had been there.

He didn’t mean to reach you at sunrise, but he had found himself sleepless last night. He had expected you round at the Losers’ sleepover last night, but you had to phone up late and inform him that you had to start packing. Mike had been the one to find him, just leaning his head against the wall with the phone still hanging limply in his hand. He had to place his hands firmly around his shoulders to pull Richie away, leading him back into the others with a tight grip, but Richie was gone, far away, as if he was disappearing in his grip like a ghost. Eddie was about to say something later that night, but the look of fear, and dejection on Richie’s face when he slipped under his covers and just turned his back to the others, made him stop and just settle down in his freshly pressed sleeping bag.

The morning, thankfully, wasn’t as grey, but soothing lavender and brilliant lander started to break out from behind the clouds, merging behind his raven hair into neon pinks and peaches.

Finally arriving at your house, he dumped his bike on your lawn and ran around to face your bedroom. Little did he know, that you were also awake, still thinking about your phone call last night. Placing your hand on your windowsill, you sigh as you just stop for a moment, ignoring the boxes in the corner of your eye and instead just leaning by your net curtains.

Behind the glass, and the fabric, was the ever changing art of the sky, and the boy you couldn’t see yet below it, who was desperately trying to put into words the ever exploding feelings in his heart. There was such a feeling of nervousness, of joy, of electricity in the air, a sense that secrets were about to be whispered into the transitory and eternal air, changing and constant and not able to be swallowed in again.

Stopping suddenly, you start to hear a squeaking voice warble out from down below.

‘Y/n, these feelings I have for you are embedded in my - come on, are you five, that sounds so dirty. Even when a clown was trying to turn into a werewolf and eat my fear or whatever, or when we went into that crack house, I was never afraid, because you were with me. I’m scared, that if you go, I’ll vanish as well.’

You reach out towards your curtains and draw them aside softly. You have to blink away the sun for a moment as it comes in and bathes through the square of light in bright gold, warming the wood by your toes and bathing your face. You nearly choke with laughter at the sight of Richie Tozier pacing your garden, gesticulating wildly to himself as he swings about. He stops, nearly skidding as he throws his hands down in defeat.

‘We are two halves, but we make a whole- that’s so cheesy, you sound like Benny boy now.’

‘You’re my real family. You’re the only person who really actually gets me and I-I, shit man, you can’t do a Bill now. I love you. It’s just as simple as that. I love you, and I’m terrified. Damn, Trashmouth, that's not half bad.’

He nearly jumps out of his skin when you slide your window open and shout down at him.

‘Trashmouth, are you trying to wake the whole neighbourhood up?’

‘Why the hell are you up? I thought only creeps and nerds were up this early!’

‘Is that why you’re here?’

‘I thought I’d try out my new material on the best clown I know!’

A muscle twitches involuntarily at the corner of his right eye, his mouth forming a rigid grimace as he looks up at your raised eyebrows and slight smirk.

‘How much, exactly, did you hear of my musing?’

He folds his arms over his Freese’s shirt and flowing Hawaiian as he begins to hop from foot to foot again. Never one to keep still, he tries to keep his mind off your answer as you think above him. He tears his head away from your head, as it pops out the side of the window and dangles down at him like an angel floating in a halo of silver above his head, trying not to focus on the way your words would either see the dawn of his hope, or snap his dreams right in two.

Instead he nudges his glasses a little higher on his nose, as if the thought the midnight rims should pay attention too - silently focusing together.

‘If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way too.’

‘W-what?’

‘Would you just get up here before my parents wake up?’

Richie doesn’t waste any time to grab a hold of the ivy climbing on the crumbling bricks, his feet slipping and sliding to try and keep up with his scrabbling as he tears up the side of your house. He’s so quick, you don’t know where he is until his nose bumps against yours, and he nearly collides straight against your mouth, the only thing barring the two of you being his glasses.

‘What did you just say?’

His expression is uncharacteristically serious, and yours is so bright in response. He wonders if you know how much that drives him crazy, how it makes him want to reach out and feel every curve of your skin, but instead he stays hovering a few inches away from your face, waiting for some miracle that his hearing quite hadn’t caught up with.

‘I said, I love you too, you idiot. What a time to tell me.’

‘Y-you love me?’

‘Would you hurry up and kiss me before you fall? Gosh knows you’ve waited about ten years too long.’

He rolls his eyes in that way he does when he's really happy but feeling too macho to show it, before he slightly wets his lips and lets himself fall forwards into your grasp. He melts into you, clumsily, and a little messily, but he manages to steady himself and reach up to cup your cheeks, lips desperate as they capture yours again and again, warm and tasting slightly like cherry, but so needy for you.

‘You’re right, I am an idiot.’

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nonagesiimus · 2 years

Note

4 6 7 13 27

Are there any writers that inspire you?

hate to say it but stephen king. the shining rewrote my brain man

What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! i dont even think about it it just works. its also usually what im complimented on

What element of writing do you struggle with most?

almost everything other than dialogue. actually what im worst at is coming up with an ending im always like heres a scenario and then i never ever resolve it, i never stick the landing

First fandom you ever wrote for?

the first ever story i wrote based on someone elses of my own accord was for dora the explorer when i was like six. the first actual fic i ever wrote when i learned what fic was online was for harry potter. i was a huge harry potter fan as a kid and there were like, three years at the start of my writing fic where i only wrote for harry potter because i just didnt like anything else (remember that im like ten years old for this and didnt know why it sucked yet). i used to post it on fanfiction dot net (classic) and harrypotterfanfiction dot com, which i dont think actually exists anymore, but i used to spend a lot of time there

What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

biggest compliment ever was when someone drew fanart for one of my fics, i dont think ive ever topped that. i dont know that theres a singular comment that sticks out more than others (or theres not one off the top of my head) but i get a lot of comments that are like "ive been following your stuff for years!" or "this is my third/fourth/fifth time rereading this!" and those always knock me on my ass. i cant believe there are people out there who like. idk they've been reading my stuff since i was in high school and they still check in and comment when i post something new. heartwarming etc. my favorite type of comment to get though is the ones that quote my own writing back at me its just fun to see what lines really worked for someone

ty!

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fizzingwizard · 3 years

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So............ Episode 39 is a fever dream xD I think the writers were high. It’s probably better enjoyed while high as well, if you’re not eight years old. Bahahaha.

But HEY they really went for it. They were like, this is the concept, we are not backing down, YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT OR ELSE. Man. Ballsy.

I can’t say whether this episode was Good or Not Good - I think it’s more in the liminal zone of “you wish you could forget but never can” memedome. Lol

It’s a Jou ep and we can say, for sure, that the episode certainly embodies Jou’s potential *cackles*

Note: Episode 40 won’t air until 3/21.

Pic of the Day is Taichi because, as usual, I capped him too much.

Taichi: Pretty sure we all just ate hallucinogenic mushrooms by accident but just gonna smile through it

More below!

First Tailmon lectures the kids on the importance of taking a break to rest. Basically, Tailmon is me. Hey, writers, are you reading my blog? Lol.

They pull up to what turns out to be a Digimon burger restaurant. The fact that Palmon didn’t know what burgers until they went to the simulated human world is dealt with pretty much by saying she just doesn’t get around much lol.

They find many Digimon enjoying burgers made by the Digimon after my heart, Burgermon.

The Squirtle Squad is there too.

Taichi also is me.

Sora comments on how this place reminds her of a place from home, to which Mimi responds that she’s never been there as she usually travels by plane ??????????????????????

I know she’s rich but does she take a plane to the grocery store xD

The kids st down to enjoy some burgers, all except for Yamato, Koushirou, and Hikari, who didn’t listen to Tailmon’s lecture and are still working. Even Tailmon doesn’t take her own advice.

Jou suddenly notices something strange. He stands, glasses shining.

Jou: Why is no one eating the fries!

Taichi: I’m eating them.

Jou: i dON’T MEAN YOU!!!!!

His blood pressure skyrockets. Fries are the main reason to go to a burger joint. Why is no one eating the fries??

Taichi: Like I said, I’m eating them.

Jou: NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU!

Meanwhile, Yamato’s group realizes Komondomon is very dirty when he accidentally creates a small sandstorm out of his fur. They meet another Komondomon who is sparkly and bishie and find out there’s a car wash service by Lunamon nearby, so they take Komondomon to get washed.

HEY WRITERS, YOU’RE READING MY BLOG RIGHT??? I asked for this before. Bahahaha. BATHE KOMONDOMON 2021

Lunamon also tries to bathe Gabumon, but he’s not interested.

Gabumon: I don’t need a bath!

Yamato: Uh, are you sure?

Jou’s indignation over the not eating of the fries turns out to be because, sometimes after cram school he sneaks off to a burger restaurant and eats fries and just has a moment for himself before he goes home. His special time with fries keeps him sane in a cold, cruel world.

Then this abomination appears. Potemon. He both is a potato and loves eating potatoes. Uh. That’s. That’s kinda wack

Jou instantly clicks with Potemon due to their mutual love for potatoes. I thought we’d get an explanation like “no one here eats fries because we save them all for Potemon” or something, but it seems like... Potemon is really the only one who likes them... idk man this episode makes no sense

Then Burgermon makes a sad announcement... They’re going to discontinue the fries!

Burgermon: Selling fries is a net loss for us because no one eats them.

Taichi: But you don’t sell anything, it’s all free.

Burgermon: Yes but if we DID sell them it WOULD be a net loss because no one eats them

Then Hikari’s like “quit being so lazy!” and the others are like “you literally told us it’s important to rest” and Hikari’s group is like “KOMONDOMON NEEDS A BATH ALL PLAY AND NO WORK MAKES JACK A DULL BOY” and Taichi’s like “but my name is not Jack”

Gomamon tries to help Jou cheer up by reminding him of his image as a leader. Tailmon is surprised... but accepts her new leader lmao.

I mean, how could you not admire his authoritative figure?

There’s a running joke from this point about the word suberu (滑る) which means both to slip like in the tub and to flunk an exam. So, for Jou, it’s the equivalent of a curse word lol. Mimi is the number one offender, the little witch bahaha.

Potemon has gone to cry over not being able to be a cannibal anymore, until he is consumed by potato rage. His eyes glow red and he evolves to...

... Jagamon, another potato Digimon, but larger. He is a Perfect level WHAT. Does that mean Potemon was Adult level??? Or he was so upset he just jumped two levels in single go without any extra help from Millenniumon?? i think this guy might be the real Big Bad y’all

Jagamon throws potato bombs around and stuff starts to get wrecked.

Taichi: This seems like an overreaction!

Agumon: To be honest I get it. I’d probably act the same if I couldn’t have my favorite food anymore.

Taichi: But your favorite food is every food.

Burgermon and Lunamon bravely rush out to stop Jagamon, but then, when rescued by Taichi, instantly agree to turn tail and run bahaha.

Not to be outdone, Yamato rushes in to save this little guy, Pusurimon, who looks up at his hero with eyes full of wonder.

Taichi then asks Yamato to lead the evacuation which pretty much means “stop stealing my fans”

Meanwhile Birdramon... helps???... Blimpmon...

I didn’t even know there was a Blimpmon...

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised...

....

Jou realizes that Jagamon is Potemon and begs the others to help him save the little potato head.

Taichi notices that Lunamon’s bubbles are peculiarly strong for bubbles and stop the potato bombs from exploding. I mean, he and everyone else figures it out just by using their eyes. Jou then instantly takes over and starts giving orders like he’s a got a shrewd plan.

Jou: I have a plan!

Mimi: What is it?

Jou: Use the bubbles to stop the potato bombs from exploding!

Mimi: Funny, that was my plan too!

Jou... What a coincidence!

Tailmon receives Captain Jou’s orders and promptly evolves to Angewomon. She shoots her arrow into Zudomon’s hammer and tells Jou to infuse it with his strong feelings.

(A quick not funny aside - now we know Angewomon can do this. It makes perfect sense for both her abilities in 99 Adventure and the abilities we’ve seen from the holy Digimon thus far this season. Bit of a strange way to have it confirmed but xD)

Jou does just that, infusing Zudomon’s hammer with his passion for fries and the deep connection he felt with Potemon as potetomo “potato friends.” Then he freaking picks it up, leaps into the sky which has suddenly become dark and stormy even though it was blue five seconds ago, and slams it into Jagamon’s skull.

Jou: I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN, AND THIS IS MJOLNIR! YOU WILL RESPECT THE HAMMER!

Mimi: I THINK THIS MIGHT BE OVERKILL!

But it works. A swift blow to the head and Jagamon is back to his normal potato-loving self. We all just accept this.

They now have a surplus of potatoes, thanks to Jagamon’s power to spontaneously generate them. Never mind that they also EXPLODE. Apparently that does not affect how delicious they are to eat.

I figured at some point someone would say the reason the fries were being discontinued was due to lack of potatoes, and the arrival of Jagamon would solve all their problems. But if they ever did say anything that, I missed it. Was a bit odd.

The end!

So, YEAH, bonkers episode. But Jou is the hero we all want to be in our hearts. And everyone loves fries. Which makes this the most relatable episode yet lol.

Did I like it? No, not really. But I think that’s because I am not eight years old xD I do appreciate the Jou-related humor though. Def can’t say this episode was boring! And, among other things, nearly everyone got to talk do stuff - only Koushirou and Takeru didn’t have much of a role this time. And the joke with Tailmon accepting Jou as her leader was pretty funny and cute and I hope it sticks. And I really did love the way Jou relied on Mimi at the end - it was just silly, not meaningful in any way, but it was funny and my Joumi heart enjoyed it :P

Next episode, again, won’t air till 3/21, and it looks to be a Sora episode. (Last week I surmised that ep 40 would kick off the next big arc, but I had totally forgotten Sora hasn’t had “her episode” yet. Sorry Sora ;_;)

The preview looks light-hearted, though perhaps not quite as silly as this week.

First they will go to Jurassic Park!

Where Sora and Taichi will impress the dino bird kingdom with their soccer prowess!

And Mimi will continue to relax.

Jou: What happened to all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy?

Mimi: Um, excuse me, I’m a GIRL.

Koushirou: You all know you’re using that phrase the wrong way, right?

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon reboot #digimon adventure 2020 #digi spoilers #digimon

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iwach4n · 4 years

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Bro so, idol s/o and ushijima getting triplets and all are boys. One is super energetic one is in the middle and one is just mellow HAJDJ. And the three of them wants to go with ushijima to his practice. How would the team and maybe ushi react. What he do tho. Cause I heard triplets can be a ruckus. All hell goes lose. The triplets are toddlers so. That’s the start of the ruckus wwww

Bro my little sister is three and she’s absolutely chaotic, idk how anyone would manage three of them. But it does mean I have some experience with children, so I love this request.

I may or may not have changed it to a vbc reunion so I could have the other Shiratorizawa boys, I hope that's ok

This also came out so long but hnnnng i get excited about Ushijima being a soft dad

Ushijima Idol S/O - Triplets

When you found out you were pregnant, you decided to take the average length of maternity leave as a temporary break from your group

Your fans showed overwhelming support, as they had always been in love with you and Ushijima’s relationship. A bit over a month ago you had announced your engagement, and now a child? All the shippers were having a field day.

But finding out you were having triplets? Not even just twins? That was a shock for just about everyone.

You begrudgingly decided to take a break from full-time music until the kids were in school (though you did release a couple of solo songs once life got a bit less hectic), and Ushijima decided to take a year off from professional volleyball

He still practiced with his team when he could, as they eagerly anticipated his return a year later, but he stayed at home with you and the boys most of the time and didn’t play in any matches

Once they grew up a little, you started to see the resemblance to both of you more and more. They shared most of your features, but from a distance, they looked more like Ushijima’s kids, due to their hair and skin being the exact same shade as his.

And, well, here you were three years after they were born, and your boys were all forming very distinct personalities

The youngest (though not by much), was by far the most rambunctious. If you told him not to do something, he would immediately do it. If you figured out a way to stop him, he would try to get around it. He was always sprinting around the house, to the point you wondered where he was getting all his energy from.

The middle by age was the complete opposite. He was usually to be found in a corner, drawing or playing with toys on his own. His calm nature did not mean he was easy to manage though - if he didn’t want to do something (which, you found, was most things he had to do), he would simply refuse, stating simply “don’t wanna”. Sometimes, he was a bit too much like his dad.

Your oldest was somewhere in the middle when it came to energy level. Yes, he would run around and play with his brothers and friends, but after a bit of time, he would simply collapse. And although he was an absolute delight while he was happy, when he was tired and done for the day, he was a nightmare. He would scream and refuse to do anything asked of him, including going to sleep.

Parenting was hard

Luckily for you, if there was one thing the three had in common, it was that they idolised their dad

Sure, they loved listening to your singing and watching old recordings of your concerts. But they were three year old boys after all. If there was one thing cooler for them, it was seeing Ushijima slam down an epic spike over the volleyball net set up in your backyard, the force so great it leaves a dent in the ground

And it wasn’t like they listened to everything he said, but the most effective method of getting them to settle down and do as they’re told is a promise to teach them some volleyball the next day if they behave.

So, naturally, there was no way they weren't coming with you to the Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club Reunion

The email had come a few weeks before the event, and said to bring the family and come play some casual volleyball

You wondered whether your now husband would manage 'casual volleyball' as you packed sat down in the driver's seat, the boys having begged to sit with their dad today

It didn't matter, though, because you'd finally get to meet Ushijima's highschool teammates, and you also got to hear him telling stories to the boys as you drove towards the school. As you made eye contact with him through the rear view mirror, you thought about just how lucky you were to be married to him for the millionth time.

Eventually, you made your way to the gym, which was filled with laughs too deep and grown up to fit in at the highschool

As the five of you entered, the room quitened significantly. That is, until a certain redhead bounded forward, yelling Ushijima’s name and smothered him in a hug, despite the fact that he was holding two out of three of your children

Tendou was the only one of Ushijima’s old teammates that you had met previously, but it had been at the very start of your relationship. Even so, you greeted each other warmly

“Who are you?”

Your youngest had piped up from his fathers arms, making all three of you chuckle. You and Ushijima both placed the kids you were holding on the floor, and Tendou crouched down to talk to them

“I was your dad’s best friend in high school.” “Dad had friends?”

This made you, Tendou, and a couple other people watching cackle, while Ushijima looked positively betrayed

“Behave, or I’m not teaching you volleyball.”

This sent your kid into a pout, but luckily (or not) Tendou saved the day

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. Wanna learn how to block?”

From the shine in his eyes, you guessed you had lost a child for the day

The next hour or so was spent introducing yourself, and starting to remember what it was like to have other people be starstruck meeting you

You flushed at every comment about how Ushijima managed to get a pop-star wife, but less at their words and more at the pride and love in his eyes whenever someone said something like this

"I was never one to go for second best."

I'M GONNA NEED TO MAKE A PART TWO OF THIS I CAN'T BE TRUSTED TO WRITE CHILDREN I GET CARRIED AWAY SHFJEJD

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foolsgoldencore · 4 years

Text

Idk friends, I'm not convinced that Su She is a comrade

Like first of all, the class commentary in mdzs/cql is not clear cut. The story seems to have some scathing things to say about the gentry and the ruthless pursuit of spiritual and/or political power, but it exclusively features the voices of said gentry and spiritual elite and reduces the "common people" to, come on, Literal puppets. The only person who both has lines/a role in the story, was not born into a wealthy clan and/or spiritually powerful cultivation sect, and who Doesn't die a horrible and tragic death is Wen Yuan/Lan Sizhui... because he gets adopted by a powerful and wealthy clan. (If you want to argue that Wen Ning doesn't exactly die his horrible and tragic death, then sure, but he's still in the same adopted-by-gentry boat as Sizhui [And Wei Wuxian, for that matter].)

(Maybe I'm mistaken in sort of equating spiritual power and wealth/political power! But I think there's a case to be made there: all wealthy clans are spiritually powerful (though not vise versa); the ruthless fixation on advancement; cultivation requires elite knowledge (you can have innate power, but without training you can't use it... or you have to resort to spiritually-corrosive "wicked tricks"). Minor sect cultivators can hardly compete with, say, the 400+ spirit net efforts of a major clan heir, but they're not totally out of the running in any other situation. Being any kind of cultivator gives you power over "regular" people-- including, in some cases, the power to manipulate them as literal puppets... I think it's a reasonable association to make: the powerful class= the wealthy and/or cultivators.)

Either way, the system ofc favors the wealthy, most of whom were merely born into their positions of power. Ya boy Su She points that out in heaps. He's not wrong, but he's also hardly a mouthpiece for the common people. Su She talks all this smack, but he still desperately wants to be a part of the elite he scorns. He is loyal unto literal death to Jin Guangyao, whose vision is not to dismantle the shitty class system, just to get to the top of it and execute his revenge. I feel like that's where Su She is, too. He voices some of the unfairness of the system, but only cares insofar as it applies to him. If you want to give him a pass for selling out the Lans hiding in Cold Water Cave then fine, they kinda ditched him first. But he gives up fellow guest-disciple (cql) (in the book she is only a servant!) Mianmian to Wen Chao and he totally abandons his own sect that HE founded, when he gets exposed at the Burial Mounds. Su She is what we call a class traitor.

Tbh, I think that's more interesting than him being a Man of the People bc it's helped me see what I think are some core mxtx themes:

Mxtx is extremely well-versed in wuxia and xianxia and writes a lot of genre subversion. She's super aware of all the literary conventions and uses them to drive her plot-- see her first major work SVSSS. I've typed "the system" a billion times so far in this posts lol and I think that's the crux of this issue here abt mdzs and class. I don't think mxtx is necessarily making a bold statement so much as cleverly using these conventions as her brush. When we analyze stuff I think we REALLY want to make it into some kind of allegory with a strong societal message. What I'm seeing here is mxtx being meta. She's writing characters who have their own in-universe lives, but who also grapple with being characters in a Story that has Rules. I see this in TGCF too. Whether it's Fate or Society or The System or The Status Quo, that's the main adversary in a mxtx story, beyond any villainous characters. I don't think she's preaching these as immutable inevitabilities for our universe, just shining light on the tragedy that these characters have to operate within the limitations of their medium. These really human characters with their relatable inner monologues even have the ability to recognize the trappings of their narrative universe, they just... can't escape the roles they're bound to play. (Y'all seen Princess Tutu? Like that.)

It makes for some damn good books/manhuas/dramas! But I think it means there's another layer to consider in any analysis... and tldr: that I'm not about to give Su She any, like, "credit" for the shit he says. He's not sticking up for commoners, he is realizing and bemoaning his narrative role. If you're looking for a Hero of the People, both A-Qing and Mianmian are right there!! (but that's another post)

#Su She #mdzs #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mxtx #long post/#also disclaimer that i'm a white english-speaking westerner so there's likely context i'm missing!!#splr

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moonlightjeno · 4 years

Text

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 :: san x reader

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚 :: angst, fluff ??

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 :: 2k

𝙖/𝙣 :: i’m not dead. this was actually gonna be a lot sadder than it actually is. and hey i’m writing for ateez now. kinda? idk man inspiration. any ways, i’m still kinda in a hiatus of sorts andi wrote this in the span of like an hour because a. san and b. i’m in an angsty mood. this is not proofread.

[ 6:09 pm ]

the dirt is still wet from what seemed to be a never-ending thunderstorm. The booms are a constant echo in your mind, that separates you from the rest of the world. When you look at the ground, a single flower greets you, the lilies white petals the only white in the dark and clouded day. Even it’s the stem, usually green seemed dull compared to the pureness of the white flower. The stone that stands behind it manages to clench at your heart, and you can feel your hands curl around the soil. Fingernails covered in dirt, that you would worry about later. It takes three breaths, for you to look up, and the coming sun causes an almost rainbow in front of the grey cobblestone.

The words seem to get stuck in your throat, you can feel them, a jumble of thoughts and emotions that you have pushed back for almost a year now, threatening to spill and tumble out of your mouth. But every time you open your mouth, no words leave, instead, the water that rims your eyes begins to spill down your cheeks. The water droplets are salty as they land in your mouth and into the soil, creating a pitter-patter on your hand. Breathe in, breathe out. The lily in your hand seems to stare back at you, the symbolism of it making your heart clench with each breathe, and you know that you can’t breathe the words that can’t get out and block any air into your lungs until a sob rips from your throat.

Pit, pat, pit, pat. Pitpatpitpatpitpat. And breathe.

It’s too much, the memories that flood you. His dimpled smile, and childlike behavior. It’s too much how anytime you laugh, you think that you don’t deserve it because you were supposed to be laughing with him. You were supposed to hear his squeals and feel his arms wrapped around you in a never ensign bear hug. You were supposed to get more time, more time to share your love, more time to know him, more time.

Time. the one thing that is limited in this world, the thing that we can never promise each other, but make the most out of. And you know this, you know that every time you visit the grey headstone, every time that you’ve tried to make it to where you are now your feet are no longer in your control, you are detached from the world and the world seems so far. So far that you are longer part of it, you know that you are in it but the words the sounds around you are all muffled never clear. You know that you are alive only by the beating of your heart and the constant breaths that leave your body, and the never-ending ache in your heart. They’d all visited him. Every single one of his members, it had all happened to fast for you to process one moment he was net to you, the next he was gone. The only thing you had left were the memories, like a shard of glass. Glimpses into a life, that were now broken. Though beautiful, and capturing everything you loved, but sharp and ready to cut you. The instinct to lock the memories up is instant, it’s what you’ve done for the past year shove the memories, every laugh and smile that you’d never have again to that place in your mind that you’d never reach. But this time, this time you breathe again.

“I…” the tears rush forwards again, their warmth a weird sense of comfort, and then a small smile grazes your face when you take out the old camera the last tape you’d recorded of san on it.

Breathe in. breathe out.

“I… there’s… it’s so much” you start. The video is playing over and over again, the clips lasts exactly 22 seconds. You know because you’ve counted them, you know because you can’t remember the number of times you’ve watched the clip of his smile shining above everything else. You start again and this time there seems to be no end. “When you left, i didn’t understand. Why? Why out of anyone did you have to leave me? So many people have left, so many have passed and gone, except you. It had always been me and you, san. No matter what, that was always the plan” you smile, the memory of the two you when you had met for the first time fresh in your mind.

The lock that you’d latched onto the memories, open and the flood came. It’s a rush you realize now that you’ve finally let yourself let go on the tight lock of emotions. “Damn it.” it’s almost a yell, but it doesn’t reach very far, before you can’t breathe again the salt in your mouth making it dry. “It was supposed to be us, to forever. But I guess that’s what everyone thinks when they lose the person they loved the most, don’t they san?” you can’t help but ask him, willing that maybe he’ll materialize next to you, a dimpled smile directed in your direction, and if you close your eyes and think hard enough, you can hear the filter of his laugh. Wooyoung and Seonghwa talking in the background as san cracks a bad joke, when you open your eyes you see him in the old black and white camera. Looking at you, with those eyes that held the world. And you’d know what he’d say, hoe there was no point in dwelling in the past luv, to just focus on now, on all the happy things on the bright spots you have in your life. And you did, you shut your eyes, a grim smile on your face as you clutched the old camera close to your chest, forehead resting against the cool surface of the cobblestone. If you opened your eyes you would have seen the engravings, on the tombstone.

CHOI SAN

THE TRUEST FRIEND ONE COULD HAVE

1999 - 2021

“I miss you. I miss your laugh, i miss you dragging me on random adventures at two in the morning with wooyoung because you two were hungry. I miss going to sleep, only to wake up with your arms around me. I miss how no matter how long of a day you’d had you’d always have a smile on your face, and be ready to be there and be you. There are so many things i miss, so many things i would take back if i knew, if i just knew that you’d be gone. And i sure as hell hope they’re treating you well where you are, or i might just have to go fight them myself” and you almost swear you could have heard the faint chuckle of your best friend, from somewhere but when you open your eyes for a second you don’t see him, but it’s as if you know he’s there listening somehow. “It’s been a year. You know the moment the beep paused at the end of the line I was almost sure I was dying with you. But I am still here, and you’re not. I was going to play this video for you, the members helped me make it, it’s a compilation of all the times you’d made us mad only for then for us to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. But the moment i opened the camera, this video of you plays. It’s at one of you’re rehearsals, a dance practice for a competition, I can’t really remember which one, you guys went to so many. But this one in particular, was the first time you sang. You were scared, you kept asking me and the rest of the team ‘what if the public doesn’t like my voice? What if i break? What i a forget the lyrics?’ ” it was also the day you realized you’d fallen in love your best friend. And you knew the tears were threatening to come again, but you found your words again, the rainbow seemed to dance in front of you, it’s different colors and bright light.

“You killed it though. I knew you would, wooyoung even made a bet about it. But that’s not it. I look at this video, and you look so happy san. Your eyes whole the world, the dance in the light and seem to captivate everyone and everything. And i can barely keep focused for more than five seconds before i start to break down again” the last words come out almost as a choke, but the ease on your lungs seems to have softened. And the pitter-patter has slowed down, your hands are no longer clenched together and your heartaches even if just a little, but it’s less. The video continuous to play on its a never-ending loop, and the lily seems to be blooming a little brighter than when you had first arrived. The wet soil, is still cool against your knees but it’s become somewhat familiar, the grey cobblestone you can finally read. The engraving still pangs you hear, it still makes you want to scream and rip something to shreds because at times you can’t believe that he isn’t here anymore, and then the never-ending pain becomes a little warmer with every note he sings, and every giggle you hear over and over again. Until it’s the only thing you hear, and you can breathe again.

Death. No longer by your side, the moment the white machine from the overly white hospital bed beeped monotone. Dead, but not always gone, the memories stored in the box of memories you have never being able to be separated from pain and joy. The never-ending mixture of both emotions, and so many more that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to truly filter out, or get a grasp of. It’s times when those two hit you so hard, and the memory of his smile stops your breathing when it feels like nothing will ever go back to normal, and you know that it never will. But you think you can create a new type of normal, one with that box of memories not shut away but next to you the mix of emotions always swirling, and you ready to take them on. It’s when you feel the tap of the shoulder, and turn to face seven other boys, that the weight of the memories and everything that is san seems to loosen a becomes happier. Because you know that he will always be there, always be with you in your memories even if they hold pain because the pain comes from the love and joy those memories hold. In time, you hope, in time, maybe you can breathe again. In time.

#write kpop #i neeed to join more ateex netwroks #san #san imagines #ateez x reader #ateez san #this is so bad help #choi san #san scenerio #san scenerios #san im sorry #also this banner is disgusting #tags please work #feedback would be great o #ok ok luna will shut up now

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