#id still love to like. design kids for u all but i spent so long on mao's i know i would get tired after 2 seconds

[theloveinc]

who else thinks they’d have weird ass kids with their fave

#kids tw #i wanna hear about your weird kids tbh LMAOOOO #or how u think ur kids would be in general tbh #i like that topic #my bakugo kids would be soooo f*cking weird lmaooo it makes me laugh #id still love to like. design kids for u all but i spent so long on mao's i know i would get tired after 2 seconds #anyway #caitie blabs

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

#thats way less talk than i thought id do #prolly bc i wrote half of it when it was between midnight and one AM #wait no it was 2 am #but ye #sry if shit messy af #those two are my faves tho n talkin bout em on the spot is hard cuz my brain is screaming about everything bout em at once #if u wanna get more info on em do ask i love them so much n i feel i didnt do em justice here cuz speaking is a fraud words dont exist #im glad they caught ur interest tho #nothin more gratifyin than not being the only bitch who likes his own children

[bubblellop]

26 for literally any of your characters, as many as you want just give me the goods

26: What is your favorite headcanon for your character?

My god ive already said so many of them im running out of the interesting ones, so pardon if i repeat myself lol. Anyway have a BUNCH of them. Have fun

Adalia:

Has set the forest on fire before, a lot of times actually, still does it.

First time she met Rhett and Olivers family, she just....decided to sit in the fireplace. Just, chill in the fire, in front of their family. A lot of explaining had to be done.

Never showered in her life.

Likes singing! Its a GREAT and healthy alternative to screaming and setting things on fire!

Canonly says fuck. This isnt a headcanon its just a fact-

Lilyana:

This one is already known, but Lily likes sleeping in the bath. She really likes the bathroom in fact, even tho for her it serves no purpose. Just a small water room, she loves it.

Once said fuck infront of Rhett, leaned next to him and said "Go on. No one will believe you."

Knows sign language.

Likes dissapearing every once in a while. As a treat. (This really stresses Adalia and Oliver tho Lily please :(((( dont do that, even if its for a couple hours) (also by disapearing i mean she just takes long walks unanounced like the rebel she is)

Oliver:

Stole a spoon once and felt really bad about it.

He plays the ukelele uwu

Has anxiety, things just stress him out alot sometimes, but he's gotten better at controlling it :)

As he knows Adalia and Lily's diet is...weird, he takes it as a challenge to make dishes they like AND is healthy for them!!! (If all fails tho, just give them hot sauce and ice cream am i right)

Him and Adalia have their own weird adventures sometimes!!! They come back home all scratched up and no one even questions it after a while. Their dinamic may not appear much but their both great together adfh

Rhett:

*swears in spanish* *swears in spanish* *swears in sp

The hoodie he wears is for comfort and emotional support :) even tho he will never admit to it but its okay hes a coward and a b-

Jams to old p!atd song along with Stef. Ah they both hate to admit they are scene kids at heart.....

Canonly punched Lilyana in the face. Man chapter 5 is wilding lol

Stephanie:

I like to think there are times she forgets to take off her glasses, hides it when shes with the others, and just be legally blind for an entire day.

"Sophie i cant read that" "oh well then you could just get your-" chokes Sophie with a pillow

When shes not with the twins, she spends time in a smoothie shop she likes :) the girl just tries to avoid going home huh

Is more of a bi mess if were being honest. She straight up looked at her two most bitter friends and went "hey how about i just try to flirt with them to see their reaction lol" but they both dont realize it/ignore it.

Has a shit ton of sketchbooks!!! If u dont know shes really into fashion and wants to persue that as a career :)

When shes bored with Sophie, she will try to annoy the hell outta her, shake her, hug her, play with her notes, moan and grunt, you name it.

This girl has so many talents such as piano, violin, ballet, art, singing, designing, writing and much more!!!

Ansskdks stef will paint rhetts nail black because emo rights skdkdksf

Sophie:

She and her older brother are really cool!!! They both just VIBE with eachother and id say they have the best sibling bond!!! I live for their foolery!!!

Very composed and serious, but when shes excited you WILL know, she acts like a child its adorableee.

Canonly the shortest, shes shapped like a friend and i wanna hug her okay-

She insisted on having a laboratory for her "research", so they just keep giving her the basement skddksc (both in the twins house and sophs home)

OH YOU DIDNT EXPECT T H E S E ONES HUH!

Liv:

She has a garden :) where may you ask? The entire forest is her garden if you think about it.

Liv is actually older than the twins. (I dont know why the idea seems cursed, shes too baby)

Literally has the best dinamics with everyone, shes just so nice and patient no one can hate her...

Skyle:

She hisses at humans, this is normal to the rest.

I like to think they all went and stole their clothes, and id say skyle just went to a costume shop and picked the coolest thing she saw (a pirate costume).

She sleeps in a tree branch

The strongest of the guardians, she likes training, she almost never has to fight anything tho, so she will go and find a bear or smth and just go feral ya know (there are no bears in that forest, sam probably summons a fake one so Skyle doesnt go mad)

Jamie:

Has read EVERY BOOK about bugs Samantha has.

Have i mentioned they loves bugs. They likes ladybugs the most.

"GUYSS IM ALMOST 10 I CAN HANDLE THIS" - them every time. Doing anything. The rest care alot about her okay.

If all the guardians (adalia, lily, liv, skyle, sam and themself if your wondering) were to be left alone, they would be most likely to survive, just sayin

Samantha:

Only lets Jamie in her library, the rest are allowed ONCE a week. Get out of her sight.

Goth

Very tall, pale and skinny, shes a vampire is2g-

May not show it but she doesnt like humans either, just finds them a bit gross. Doesnt say anything out of courtesy tho.

Doesnt like cutting her hair, she will SCREAM if you try to.

Aaaand im tired its 12 ive spent half an hour in this and im DEAD. God i hope at least 2 of them are interesting.

#ask #hawks-on-mars #the magical twins #tmt #i know ive said most of these already #but me tired ples..... #sorry akskd #i did have fun with this tho #and heyyy i included some for the guardians too :))))

[inactivesimblrr]

get to know me tag!

tagged by @literalite (thank u lamer clone!) n im not tagging anyone bc.............. every1 i think i know has already been tagged so thats calm, there r 125 questions below!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Pat[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? pat

3. BIRTHDAY? 23rd of nov!!!!! <3 (2001)

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? hmhmhnnnn,,,,, lotr, the hobbit, harry potter, anything from the grishaverse,,, idk man i like books a lot,,, the raven cycle,,, hnmgmg,,

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? aliens 100% i believe in them! ghosts? i mean... i half kind of do half dont but my kind of ghost aint the same as the usual idea of a ghost yanno? mine r nicer <3

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? leigh bardugo, tolkien, i would say j.k rowling but shes trash! her books r good tho ://

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? ??? idk so im gon pretend this means podcast and in that case im listening to the black tapes rn! 

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? matcha or strawberry!!!!!!

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? thats swag (i began using it ironically but now i cant stop)

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? uhhh eve or the wonderful world by mark joshua! orrr shiloh by little chief!! 

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? grinned

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  walking back to georgia by jim croce

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? honestly.... drop dead diva... im sorry.... but tbh i dont watch tv all that often!! ACTUALLUY HECK i would def recommend merlin the bbc tv series and ofc sherlock the tv series but keep in mind both those recs will rip out your heart MULTIPLE times,

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? .......... im down all the time lolol but tbh all the harry potter films + the 1st fantastic beasts movie, all the lotr films and all the hobbit films AND sherlock both the rdj and jude law films and then the bbc sherlock christmas special the abominable bride

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yah! my all time favourite game is tes oblivion!! it has been my fav since i was 6!

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? my life not working out the way i want to!! i want my life to be happy and long and spent with the people i love and not having 2 worry abt money or health!!!

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i think maybe my ability to find everything funny??

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my temper is beyond vicious honestly like im not kidding my temper is.... disgusting

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? birds

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? winter

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah!

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? im still a kid im only 17!!! and uh,, i miss the innocence!! i miss being oblivious!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i dont have one!

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? brownn w/ a bit of green!

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown!

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my parents and my family!

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? jude law, sebastian stan, emma stone

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? back to school shopping!! also i get to eat fried chicken and cheesecake tonight because even tho my birthday was yesterday im celebrating it today!!!!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? stationery??? video games?? FOOD??

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? jane and the dragon!

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i dont know what a male is sorry

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a baby bit only

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? n’aw i dont think so!

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? i mean... if i weren’t as ugly as i am id love to be in front of a camera doing fun acting stuff or whatnot! but bc i am ugly im usually behind the camera + i do film at school!

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? lettering/calligraphy!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? what if its us by becky abertalli + adam silvera (its so cute but the ending was.... not satisfactory...)

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald!!!

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used 2 play piano, accordion, and violin! but i dont do tht anymore!

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? bird!! 

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? too many 2 pick from !!! im srry!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? gdgs all of them!!!!! maybe the power to warp reality bc i could do anything then?? a reality where im married to jude law or emma stone? done, a reality where i have all the powers in the world? done

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? a cliff somewhere where its cold and the water is vicious underneath!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? babies, animals, happy couples, pregnant people, old people, a lot of things really!

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i used 2 do karate but now i dont do sports!

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? idfsng idk! strawberry milkshake maybe?? matcha boba??? milk!!

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? last week!!! i love handwriting!

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah!

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ppl who r rude for no reason and also ppl at school who just pick on other ppl for no reason looking at you rahni teagan and the other f*ckheads!!! hope u die literally i know thats a horrible thing to say but you all deserve it

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? i went to two twenty one pilot concerts!! the first one was in the forum in melbourne and then the other one was a few years or one year later and it was in a sold out stadium!! both were in the mosh! and then idk if this counts as a concert but i went to and did the meet and greet for dan and phil’s first tour! i dont like them anymore tho ! ://

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no way in HELL!!!!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things!!! famous actress, spy, war general, prime minister, pro wrestler, explorer, cartographer, filmmaker, architect, interior designer, dragon, PIRATE

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i know this is a bad idea but honestly the harry potter universe PROVIDED i had magic!! bc like,,, yah

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? a lot of things! my future mainly lol :(

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? no but i gotta say sometimes in the middle of the night when i wake up and the undefined shape my clothes sitting on my desk chair looks like That i get a bit worried yanno it looks like a demon im not gonna lie

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? ya but i dont htink im any good at it!

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? only due to sickness, funerals, or holidays!

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my house! OR the cliffs of moher :o)

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in some old old old european castle in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and next to the sea

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nuu :( but i do feed a lot of birds that come to my house and ive named them and love them even if the lorikeets dont love me back which is fine!!!! :(

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? early bird i guess

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets??

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes! but i dont have my full lisence only my learner’s permit!!

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones (noise cancelling!!)

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yup!! they were green!!

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? soft rock, indie folk, indie-everything mainly except for indie-rock,,, country music dont hate my i love country music as long as its certain country music!! aint having none of this keith urban rubbish in my house!! we only listen 2 the james taylor brand of country music in this house!!! so i guess country folk. folk music in general is my jam!!! i love ballads as well and ofc blues!! theres so many more jbdsgjbas but i cant possibly list all of it!!!

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? the idea of me living out the future i want if that makes sense!

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yah!!

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things honestly!!!! 2 many to list im really passionate!

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book but i read more on electronic devices bc its easy and i dont have to worry about lights !!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? idk!!!!!!!! maybe history!

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? nup!! im an only child thanK GOD

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? movie tickets to crimes against grindelwald last night!!

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? i think im like 176cm??

75. CAN YOU COOK? only if i have a recipe! but i can make really good drinks (non alcoholic ofc!!)

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? rainy weather, good literature, my family

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? hubris, wrath, pococurantism

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? ?????????? who knows

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? australia!!

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my group chat

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? my birthday yesterday lol

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? dont want youtube tht much anymore tbh

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nah

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? procreate

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? incredibly close with both parents but fight with my dad like cats n dogs

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? irish or strong strong american or posh english also scottish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? israel, republic of ireland, and so many more places like nksgskbgs i cant list them also all the nordic countries

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nah 

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both!!!!!! 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? daring in terms of i like to do things that could potentially kill me for the adrenaline rush but not daring in terms of introducing myself to other ppl lol

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nah thank GOD

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? oui

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? non

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ill happily admit i’m wrong provided the other person wasnt a douchebag about it but even then ill admit im wrong! aint no shame in recognising ur wrong ma dude

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? dont like the beach but i love the sea?? so forest i guess bc i dont like sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? "two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own” - adam lindsay gordon

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? an excellent one, but i dislike lying and value honesty so!!

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? ssssss slytherin!

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? ya

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? cop out answer here but it depends on the situation

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? try and find the owner and track em down but if i cant ill hand it in to the place where it was lost

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? ears but theyre closed up!!

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? thorin oakenshield

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nah

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? ? idk man

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? no, too many bad people are living good lives right now

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope! perfect vision here my dude!

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? in the future i want 1 child only

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my little cousin

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? a Lot

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? a few times only, but i value sleep

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black and green

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? hell ya !

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? audience member for the xfactor!

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “so comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” -tolkien OR “always seek the giant.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savoury

#nonsims #non-sims #non sims #saviorhide #saviourhide #tag #tagged

[flowersbytheroad]

Penny dreadful finale thoughts

This is gonna be a long one so sit tight. First off like, almost none of the characters in the show got what they deserved like everything was such a fuckin dramatic tragedy. Except probably Dorian, i feel like his story arc ended in a believable way. Secondly like, i cant get over how out of character everyone was in season 3 like. Victor 'make-u-a-proper-woman' frankenstein is not that much of a sexist. Id literally be able to accept it if it was consistent with his character but that shit came out from nowhere. Also, why the fuck did he just forget he was friends with vanessa?? Did he just never visit her from the end of season 2 to the beginning of season 3?? Especially since they seemed to be getting along pretty well all this time?? Honestly everything about him in s3 just made him into a bit of a pathetic dick and, i feel, undid a lot of the character development he went through. (And if I were Jekyll i would have punched him at least once already) Its kind of the same with ethan like, great outfit change but also i find it unbelievable that he would entertain Hecate in any way. I understand he was at a low point at that time but also?? Given everything hes seen with vanessa, especially the time they spent in the cut witch's cabin together (im looking specifically at the time when he strongly fought against vanessa about using black magic), i cant believe that he would for one moment ally himself with the forces that he condemned so much n so strongly cuz oh idk, they literally tried to KILL vanessa? A person he cares deeply about???? As for him actually falling in love with hecate, that was a total left fielder again like yes they were stuck in a crazy dessert journey together, no i dont think thats excuse enough to start fucking, particularly considering the events of the s2 finale???? (Also the fact that he never found out that he killed sembene (who is the winner of the didnt get what he deserved trophy btw) because of hecate is gonna bother me forever) Like speaking of hecate, i feel like her story arc was just so pointless. It was imo just a tool to the larger plot, in which case why even make her an instrument with an arc. Why give her so many cryptic scenes n ooooh im so evil when literally all she does is nearly die on a dessert journey and then unsuccessfully try to recruit ethan to the dark side. There was all this buildup through season 2 as she works to betray her mother n like i though she was going to be the ultimate satan witch thing who would become even stronger n start some crazy shit but like no? Instead she follows ethan to america on some wild assumption that she can definately convince him to be evil (again i cant believe this worked) n then is uncerimoniously shot to death i guess after completing her mission? So everything she did was literally pointless, other than taking up ethans time. Even that brief stint of evilness she kinda got him to do didnt fall through in the end so like. Okay. Its also just kinda funny watching them swap token poc characters around Other than that, vanessa obviously didnt fuckin deserve to die are u kidding me rn. N i find it fuckin hard to believe that she could resist lucifer who spent the entire 2nd season tormenting her like crazy but not fuckin dracula. Dracula who is literally just a vampire vs actual satan. I guess i can see it in the sense that he used love as his tactic etc etc and that all her close friends were away (*cough*im lookin at u frankenstein*cough*) but still. Vanessa is not that gullible id think. I mean lucifer pulled the same 'i will love u for who u are' act as well and if u count the torments from s1 to be draculas doing then theyve kind of tormented her the same amount. Im not saying its entirely unbelievable here, but i am saying that it could have been better written. Angelique was totally unfairly murdered. She was a great character and i would have rather watched her and dorian go on dates for 5 hours rather than all the scenes of victor pining for lily added together. Where the heck did dracula disappear to btw? N what r they gonna do with sam barnett trapped in sir malcoms basement? Also that bloody threesome between dorian, lily and justine was just really uncomfortable to watch because i know for a fact that drying blood becomes sticky and tacky and like...think of the chafing please. All this shit being said, its not like i hated the show. On the contrary i thought it was great!! Just... some parts could have been better? I thought all the actors (esp Eva Green n Billie Piper) were fantastic n it was super well executed. The set and costume design were sweet as heck n the fight scenes were especially good (i loved seeing how shit at combat victor was n his go-to of beating the lights out of monsters while screaming in fear) I could probably go on here but like this post is long enough and I cant think of anything else off the top of my head so tldr; no one got what they deserved (except maybe dorian) but like, still loved it tho

#penny dreadful #vanessa ives #victor frankenstein #ethan chandler #dorian gray #review #i guess #didnt get what we deserve squad #sir malcolm murray

[kazlifeadventures]

Malta, and the hunt for the Maltese falcon..

Only kidding. There aren't very many birds of prey left here anymore. Although there is a falconry place where they are successfully breeding them in captivity. Or, am I seeking the jewel encrusted version made famous by Humphrey Bogart's character, Sam Spade in the 1941 classic???

The Republic of Malta is an Archipelago in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea and as its such a strategic naval location it has been inhabited since about 5900 BC. There has been a succession of powers who have contested and ruled the islands. The usual suspects line up: Phoenicians and Carthaginians, Romans, Greeks, Arabs, Normans, Aragonese, Knights of St. John, French, and lastly the British. The British made Malta an independent state of the commonwealth in 1964, with the country achieving full autonomy as a republic in 1974. This explains the very Britishness that you experience here (if that’s not a real word it should be). They have retained a lot of the English parliamentary procesess, education, and driving on the left hand side of the road. That being said, Malta still retains its own identity and that identity can be found out and about anywhere on its islands.

Maltese food is its own uniqueness. Rabbit, seafood, potatoes and tomatoes feature prominently in a Maltese diet. Their 'street food' is Pastizzi, traditionally made with either cheese or mushy peas. Now they have such a variety of them it's hard to choose! I went with the exceedingly delicious cheese, crunchy crispy pastry filled with gooey cheesy goodness...yum. I will admit I was quite surprised at how much of an array of food is available here. A lot of Mediterranean influences mixed with classic British fare are all available at most outlets. This surprise could also be steeped in the fact I'd spent the past two weeks in Sicily which is very much only Italian food!

The historic buildings like the Citadel in Valletta, or in Victoria on Gozo are like little time capsules, beautifully restored and an intriguing way to spend some time in history. The town or fortress of Mdina is astounding to wander around. Fortunately for me it seemed that I picked a time that but wasn't teeming with people, making it that much more remote to be walking down a tiny roadway with no one else in sight. It was during a chat with a cab driver that I discovered the cost of progress here. Unfortunately only some of the old buildings in strategic locations are being preserved. The rest, it seems, are being pulled down with multi storey appartments going up in their place. Same as everywhere else unfortunately...

The Churches are something else here. Catholicism is the main religion, but they actually have freedom of religion and choice of worship written in their constitution. During Spring/Summer there is a religious festival involving feasts, parades and fireworks in a different village each week. There are deities positioned on street corners, in alcoves, in prominent places in courtyards, I’ve also noticed they name their houses after saints or important religious figures. I've seen about 50 houses named with either simple or intricately decorated name plates: ‘Madonnina’. Religion is very strong here, and they love to include you in their celebrations (with no pressure!) The church of Mosta was amazing. The design of the present church is based on the Pantheon in Rome. At one point in history it had the third largest unsupported dome in the world. (I have given up confirming any of these claims anymore..😂) The cool part of the story is the church narrowly avoided destruction during WWII. On 9 April 1942 a German aerial bomb pierced the dome and fell into the church during a packed Mass, but failed to explode. This was seen as a miracle by the Maltese. On Gozo amongst their churches was the incredible Basilica of the National Shrine of the Blessed Virgin of Ta' Pinu. Yeah yeah, I know everytime I think I'm churched out, I come across some fantastic ones.

On Malta I stayed in Silema which was in an area with easy access to public transport. Not quite the party area like St Julians but close enough to it. I also stayed on Gozo for 3 nights in the beautiful Xendli bay area. It seemed more logical to stay over there than going on day trips to get there. Both have very good public transport systems. On gozo the buses are every hour as opposed to every half hour on the main island. But hey, you're on island time so what's the hurry?! I also used the hop on off bus on both islands and regretted it. Although it has a commentary, It's way cheaper to take local buses to see the sights. There are a variety of transport passes you can purchase that can make it even cheaper depending how long you are here. I loved taking a harbour and rivers cruise (very handy that they all leave from Silema...😁). Somehow I lucked out and picked the cruise that had us just below the saluting battery for 12 noon. The battery forms the lower tier of the fortress overlooking the Grand harbour. Every day at 1200 and 1600 a replica SBBL 32 pounder Canon is fired. We were under it when it fired...awesome!

View of where I stayed in Xlendi...

Heads up, when booking accomodation in Malta it's more often than not cheaper to go directly to the hotel's website. It's either cheaper or you get breakfast included, often both! (This does not always happen in other places!)

I've had a blast on Malta! It's been mega hot (summer and all that!!) I've still been trying to kick this bug that's been haunting me, so feel that I haven't quite given Malta what I could have. All the same it's a fabulous gem, packed with history, stories, traditions, fabulous food and great people. According to Google translate: nirringrazzjak u narak id-darba! (thank you and see you next time!) As usual there's more photos to come!!

I'm off to Italy today, heading to the lakes area, to catch up with an awesome couple I met on the RUM (Romania, Ukraine, Moldova) tour I did all the way back in May (oh so long ago now!!) Can't wait!!!

[modiintrainguy]

Countdown to therapy – the return

March 13, 2019 8.20am

……and we’re going back.

The brief respite from therapy after I finished with T is starting again on Tuesday next week.

I gotta admit im not sure about this guy, he seems too much like a friendly yeshiva rabbi and the room and chairs don’t seem comfortable. But he could be good and hes on Maccabi so its cheap.

Anyway I decided I should try and write down my feelings each day betweennow and then so I know what to talk about.

And if I in anyway thought I was ok yesterday was a case in point. Proves im absolyutely not ok!

Er good to know? Bad to know? Definitely things to work on.

 So, yesterday I went from being really happy to deepest down depression that I couldn’t even try and get out of. I could I could’ve but didn’t.

Day started like most – me arriving non plussed at work, putting things off, getting on with them

I got this Jira board now and people started opening issues which is good. Makes it easier to manage what ive got to do.

I decided to try and push on with the platform brochure as a ppt and do 2 marketing docs and send them to K to talk to O about cos shes in Kiev. In the end I started getting requests – copy briefs, things to review, but I soldiered on and sent the brochure and 2 marketing docs  - persoinalization and Lead Management – to K.

Its really good to have K in the picture. But still feel like I want to get out of there.

Although then A from reception asked me to write an email announcing the theme for the purm costume competition on Sunday is animals.

I wrote one and she was so happy, said its genius. Then I from HR also said it was brilliant – and me and my lo self esteem arse went into hyper feeling amazing and thinking this is what ive been missing. Like since novemeber when I started with this product marketing shit with G and O and Yni I could not understand why anyone would want to work. Id see films and see people saying “but I love my job” – like in 50 shades of grey where she doesn’t want to give up her job -  and I think whaaaaat. Its just depressing. But now I realise its about achieving things and those things being recognised.

This was the email – nothing amazing. Design came out shit!

Also I won a game of pool and played really well! Potted some fantastic shots, including the black from far.

Anyway I left at 3.20 feeling better than ever! On the grand scheme of things that’s not that good. But its relative eh.

In the evening we had a meeting at 6.10pm with an art therapist who might do art therapy with littlun. Thing is her ganenent and psychologist say we should go to hadrachat horim but the art therapist also does that so im not sure we need both. Well tonight we’ll see T and ask her.

So I had to pick up the kids, get the bath done and them eating before B came at 5.55. when she came I was just getting the food ready and I left on time.

Ah yeah, and id already said cos we were gonna already be out and have a babysitter lets go to the cinema or to eat and mrs said she wanted to see green book. But even though its got good reviews and won the Oscar for best film last week, its also supposed to be a bullshit representation of racist.

So as we’re driving to the cinema im in 2 mninds. Do I want to see instant family or bens back or not go to the cinema, and then I felt hungry but she needed the loo so I said get tickets for green book and I’ll buy pizza but the line was too long and I thought lets maybe go to pepino but shes already bought tickets and I panic and say lets see instant family cos it had 7.3 on imdb so it must be something special, so I changed the tickets and she was all annoyed and we went in and sat down and the film started and in the first second of seeing marky marks face and shit acting I knew it was a terrible mistake. It was a shit film, I ate nachose, she wanted more coke and I didn’t get it. I didn’t want to be there – we could’ve gone ot pepinos. I just spent the whole time feeling dow and shit and shit and depressed. It was such a waste of an opportunity. Id thought I didn’t want to go to eat cos I ate shit yesterday – my intermittent fastings gone to shit. Imworried the foods coming back so im eating crap at work, let alone intermitten. And I hated the film. It was like lets make a film – a couple decides to foster kids, they are hard, they start to like them, the mum comes back in the picture, they get upset the kds are leaving, in the end the mum flakes on them cos shes a crack addict, kids stay and are adopted. This house they lived in was insane big. It was bullshit with no background.

By the time we left I was deep in depression. When we got home I felt shit – couldn’t deicde if I should take the dog out. Forced myself to clean up the kitchen and have a shower, went to bed and ended up talking and feeling a bit better.

But that feeling when I was driving to the kanyon and walking in and to the cinema and I couldn’t decide what I want to do. She asked me do u want to go to the cinema and I said I don’t know. I thought if I see a good filem it could make me feel good and I wanst sure I wanted to eat. But theni realized after I didn’t want to be there. But I thought she did. And I worry about wasting money – 45 for nachos and drink, 80 for cinema, 110 for babysitter- 230 for wehat.

And this art therapist is 350 a session including when she has to meet regularly with us. But she said she might ask my dad to pay.

>>>>>>>>>> 

ADDING THIS AFTER I WROTE IT!

I forgot to say, I got some new anxiety pills cos those xanex things didn’t work and the doctor had mentioned that I can get anxiety pills that also help you sleep. So I got them – all u need to do is send a message on the Maccabi website and he sends u a prescription and u don’t even need to print it out. Its like going to the airport these days – u just give them your card. But the point is last night when I got home I felt shit and after I did the washing up and cleared up the kitchen and even made a sandwich chavita for the littlun and had a shower I took one as I got into bed. Instead of doing meditation or even trying breathing or talking to the mrs. It’s a poor choice, I need to make more of an effort. It kind of worked until I started talking to her about how I didn’t want to offent the new therapist like I feel I offended T and she said T had been upset I didn’t say thank you. Like isn’t it part of the job to understand that emotionally unbalanced people areent always going to treat people perfrectly., whatevs. I need to try harder and use techniques cos yesterday I gave up and spent the whole time in the cinema wallowing in feeling shit. Shge said why didn’t I just leave cos I know she doesn’t mind going to the cinema by herself but it felt wrong.

>>>>>>>>>>> 

I dunno.

I said that in bed a lot – I diunno and she said yes you do.

Cso I do know. Im just upset that theres obviously something wrong with me. What is ADD? What is depression? An illness? What is an illness?

Is it a physical bran problem?

Or is it simply reactions to your environment that you have got used to. That you have reacted in a way so many times that you do it automatically? Whats that got to do with an illness?

Anyway im back on the train going to work. At least I have good things – the daiughters are fantsastic, job could be worse even if its not perfect and it doesn’t look like I got the Gwy one. And the love from the mrs is never ending even if I annoy her. And the food can be controlled immediately from tofday. And I can go to the gym today.

Gotta go. Tonight we have a meeting at littluns gan. Will be nice to see T as usual 😉 but seriously she is wonderful, especially considering her age and experience.

Now we go to work, deal with the shit on my jira board and speak to K about lead management.

[sweetcron]

11-97

hhelllll yEAHHHHH HERE WE GO BABIE!!!!!!! THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!

i probably went too hard on all these but....one of my summer classes just finished and i was like yeahahhHhhahah

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

totally depends where i am and how much time i have, but typically ill have yogurt & something small but sweet so i dont go insane

12. name of your favorite playlist?

god right now my favorite is handle without care, which is just stupid songs im into right now

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard, except i always get it caught on shit so typically i just throw my keys in my bag anyway

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

oooo hard one, my initial thought was sour gummy worms, but probably... either that or sour skittles. oh but fuck lemon & black licorice jelly beans together......im excited to have 0 followers & 0 friends tomorrow

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

percy jackson was dope. im trying to come up with another that i even read and frankly cannot

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

honestly i just sit like a fool all the time, but i like to be very reclined and almost horizontal, if im forced to sit more upright i like crosslegged or with my leg(s) pulled up to my chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

depends on the season or length of time, recently it’s been my black high top vans, usually it’s my docs. for a long time it was black converse.

18. ideal weather?

i like when it’s a little sunny, kind of overcast, but a little cold, like enough to wear layers but not suffer

19. sleeping position?

on my side, curled up, ideally holding pam(ela indestructable underworld), my adorable stuffed sloth

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends on what it is, but I have a planner sort of thing i really like for planning, a sketchbook/painting sort of notebook for more emotional shit and then my twitter that nobody follows and is private for really emotional shit

21. obsession from childhood?

i loved making like..dirt, water, and grass mixtures in an empty gatorade bottle. apparently this is not a common experience.

22. role model?

everyone to an extent, but also nobody. but to pin down a specific person, probably my therapist lol

23. strange habits?

i keep listening to shiny from moana? also i keep wanting to change my hair.

24. favorite crystal?

oh god, i love opal, but i dont know. most are pretty but some are awful. it depends, and id have to look at a million pictures for any resemblance of a legitimate answer

25. first song you remember hearing?

that’s so hard um. i dont remember very early but i do remember hearing crush, crush, crush by paramore and thinking ew crushes are gross even though i had a crush on a dumbass at the time, and welcome to the black parade and crying

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

warm, probably a concert but past that, walking around, going to thrift stores or record shops. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

a concert, again but past that going home, or getting a warm drink

28. five songs to describe you?

oh LORD!!!!! this is hard, but i did my best

1. caught in the middle - paramore

2. grow - muna

3. cool for cats - squeeze

4. cut my lip - twenty one pilots

5. tubthumping - chumbawumba

29. best way to bond with you?

share music with me, be vulnerable and share what is going on with you

30. places that you find sacred?

being in trees and being alone listening to music that means a lot to me loudly

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i have a mustardy yellow shirt that’s got vertical lines that are raised from the shirt, and then a flared leg jumpsuit sort of thing that’s like plaid, with black and white and grey. then docs, and yeah i love that outfit. adore it. even better with a jean jacket with fleece lining.

32. top five favorite vines?

also so hard but after doing this i think im gonna throw up from laughing so hard

1. dancing puppet

2. get outta your mind

3. cat

4. WAY TO GO PAUL

5. krispy kreme

33. most used phrase in your phone?

that’s a great question, probably me asking people what to do with my hair

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none currently, but always “meat, it’s what’s for dinner”

35. average time you fall asleep?

depends, but usually 10ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

probably some rage meme like brian or whatever

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

depends on what im doing, but usually duffel.

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer babie!! but it depends, usually i’d say tea, i really like lemon ginger (especially pukka but its expensive)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

i dont know if i’ve had lemon meringue pie, but lemon cake sounds better i think

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i remembered this and it is entertaining, in middle school (i was...prolly 14? 13?) someone said “someone likes uuuu” to me and i was like. “......k” and they were like..... “it’s a giiiiiiirl” and i again, was like “.......k” and so literally, i fucking spent the rest of the class being like, hm! apparently i dont care. and thats how i realized that idc about gender when it comes to liking someone lol

41. last person you texted?

max, @laetan���. follow him if u dont i love him

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

women’s pant pockets are cursed. jacket pockets enlighten me, especially when there’s one normal and then one like, on top of that pocket but the entrance is horizontal. that’s my favorite.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all? but let’s rank them 

1. jean jacket, my absolute fav, i have like 5 jean jackets and it’s bad. i always want more

2. hoodie, with a jean jacket is even better, but COMFY!!!!

3. leather jacket, look like a badass with one piece of clothing!!

4. bomber jacket, dont have a lot but always make me feel cool

5. cardigan, makes me feel like an old lady, but also really comfy idk. even the worst is amazing

44. favorite scent for soap?

i love lemon, but any fruit is good. or like, vanilla

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi usually....fantasy is usually too much and superhero is usually annoying. unless it’s spiderman. i adore spiderman

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

oversized soft t shirt and like, soft shorts/boxer things

47. favorite type of cheese?

GOAT CHEESE!!! also sharp cheddar and pepperjack

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

pear. i feel like i’m not talked about a lot but people like me and nobody despises me??

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i really like “you can start over each day” and “only skeleton bones remain” (FUCKING CLIKKIE)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i feel like ive cried laughing so hard, or almost thrown up, but i dont know why, and that’s almost better

51. current stresses?

just general body things, appointments, school in the fall, graduating, etc

52. favorite font?

it depends on what im doing, but i love my own handwriting, i like times new roman, hate arial with a PASSION!!!!! brawler is nice but doesn’t bold well. handwriting fonts are cool too

53. what is the current state of your hands?

left hand’s nails is in silver glitter and right hand’s nails are blue/purple glitter. perpetual hangnails. still a hint of a scar from cutting my hand on a razor, and remnants of blisters from rowing

54. what did you learn from your first job?

that you can be kind and see change without changing the entire world, and that men are creepy as shit

55. favorite fairy tale?

i dont think i have one? max probably has a good one that i’d love. new ask game send me ur favorite fairy tales and ill read them and review them

56. favorite tradition?

my mom makes me a half birthday cake every year, it’s really cute and idk why it warms my heart

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

fuck dude, umm this is hard and also a lot

1. my extreme self hatred!!

2. my extreme concern for other people’s thoughts, just honestly like dressing and listening to whatever and not really caring, ill always care, just not as bad as i did

3. letting go of things and trying to grow because of pain rather than viewing it as a waste of time

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

uhhhhhghaghhaghdshaghdhsaghadshg i dont know this is hard

1. finding dope ass socks at thrift stores

2. thinking creatively and trying to make something stranger than others like it

3. i can draw p well???? i guess? i designed my tattoo does that count

4. winning contests. i won like, 10 last year? like wtf

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

recently it would be life’s a sham and then ur wow, in reference to life’s a bitch and then you die and also shamwow. so that. or just constantly referring to things as bad boys, like. dishes.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

there’s different kinds? but ummmm i dont know, i dont want to google anime types. can i say like a miyazaki movie and be done with it

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

i dont know, can i do a song? bc i really like I’m alive in spite of me recently, also like this graffiti that i say that said 33 might mason men couldn’t put me back together again

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh boy, i asked my gf for help on some

1. nick miller from new girl

2. peter b. parker from into the spiderverse

3. dean mccoppin from iron giant for some reason

4. emile from ratatouille 

5. a mix of ben and leslie from parks and rec

6. a weird mix of chris and ron from parks and rec

7. rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid

63. five songs that would play in your club?

1. come down by anderson paak

2. send me on my way by rusted root

3. doses and mimosas by cherub

4. replay by iyaz

5. rap snitch knishes by mf doom

64. favorite website from your childhood?

WEBKINZ!!!!!

65. any permanent scars?

yeaaa got a lot, most prominent are on my legs, partially just stretch marks, and then the one on my forehead from when i got stitches

66. favorite flower(s)?

i love carnations, marigolds, roses, but really anything, fuck

67. good luck charms?

i don’t have any, i used to wear a bracelet my gf gave me but it broke. *insert gif of me trying to remember when it broke and if that’s when everything went to shit*

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

centipede jelly bean. worst thing ive ever had. it wouldn’t go away for a day even with eating other things and drinking water and chewing strong gum. horrible

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i have no idea. truly

70. left or right handed?

i am right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

houndstooth, i really don’t like it for some reason

72. worst subject?

i am oh so bad at writing, it’s really hard for me. but honestly recently every subject is horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

this was mentioned before, but black licorice and lemon. i’ve only had it with jelly beans, so maybe it’s not as good in other formats

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

depends on what it is, if i think a migraine is coming then i take it pretty low, maybe a 4, otherwise i can deal with it up to like a 6 or 7, unless i’m needing to focus

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont know when, but i do remember where. i was at a drive through bank in a rental car with my parents and brother in oregon, and i put the tooth in the lid of a plastic water bottle.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

jalepeno potato chips are soooo good but, honestly, tots are the best. mashed potatoes are good too

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

depends on the direction it’s facing and climate, but i’m growing some ivy right now and it’s so pretty and cool. also a christmas cactus that my great great great grandma or something like that started and has been passed down!!!! and a ..... leafy boy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

absolutely coffee from a gas station, i dont trust sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my school id because i’m smiling. i look stoned or dead in my id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

i didn’t entirely know what this meant, so i googled both and went oooooooo to jewel tones so. jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

i say both, i don’t know which i say more frequently because i live where there aren’t ....... lightning bugs. ore fireflies. whichever. lol

82. pc or console?

i dont game much, but i like my psp a lot, or like a joystick sort of sitchhhh

83. writing or drawing?

dRAWING FOR SURE!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts, i don’t listen to much of either

84. barbie or polly pocket?

can i throw in a third variable of bratz?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

either, but probably mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

depends on the kind, but i love frosting and cupcakes are fun, so cupcakes.

87. your greatest fear?

that i will lose everyone i love or push them away? eeeee

88. your greatest wish?

to be content and hopefully other people are content alongside me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

honestly my gf, max, and steph. and my mom. yeyeeeee

90. luckiest mistake?

oh god we could go deep or not. probably not. so like, buying pamela, my stuffed sloth

91. boxes or bags?

depends on the situation, but bags are fun, can put patches on them, plastic bags are boring and boxes are useful, help organize or carry lots of things

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

sunlight absolutely, i love it. i then would say lamps are better than fairy lights which are better than overhead lights. fuck overhead lights

93. nicknames?

for me? okay lets GO. delly, delly boi, dell, d, glen, glenjamin, glenny, yenaled. there’s a lot of weird/gross ones that i dont want to share.

94. favorite season?

fall in theory, summer in stability.

95. favorite app on your phone?

wasn’t this already asked? CAUGHTCHA

96. desktop background?

switches between 3 pictures around colorado that my gf took

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

five

98. favorite historical era?

good question, i honestly don’t know. can i say the 80s or 90s? if not like, before racism existed. yeah

#about me #ask #long post #THANK YOU #ask game #anon #was this too long #sorry #also i spent so long on this wtf?!?!?!?!???!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! who am i #anonymous

[bensopinionsonvariousthingsblr]

So what are my favorite games Part 1

So just to make things clear i haven been writing 1.because this is actually my second attempt at writing this i accidentally closed the tab the first time, uh and i only lost a few hours of work. and 2.because I’ve been working at my job a lot more frequently as of late. anyway, i could probably write an entire full length essay on all of these games but I’ll try to shorten things up, oh yeah uh some games on the list might not be that good, as I may include a game from my childhood that i have fond memories of, but maybe wasn’t as good as i remembered it, anyway its a top 10 so lets begin.

First of all id love to start with some outside looking in, all these games are incredible to me and i would love to put them in the top 10 but i couldn’t, if you want to hear my opinions on them (wow thanks, you actually care) you can ask me on twitter and ill do my best!

15.Sonic Generations                                                                                              14.Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege                                                                      13.Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum (Waterpark&Zoo DLC is amazing)                12.Splatoon 2 (specifically the Octo Expansion, that was really good)                    11.Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition (Def. edition because its portable with good FPS and the extra 3DS content)

OK then Ill get started now :3 Thanks a TON (and I mean it I appreciate amy support i get or constructive criticism) for reading it!

Number 10: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess                                              Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2006/2016 remaster                                What it can be played on: Gamecube/Wii/Wii U                                                                                                                                                                                              The Legend of Zelda is my favorite game series of all time, thats obvious if you know anything about me, and twilight princess is one I’ve played more recently, and from the start you notice Twilight Princess is definitely going for that early 2000′s edgy tone (is that a coincidence or an actual trend, i dunno i was really young in 06 so...) which works fine, and its a really long game, I mean I spent a week or two beating it, that being said i had work and other things going on at the time, but any way it has been said by many more before me, that it is basically an edgy, long,Ocarina of Time remake with motion controls....and they aren’t wrong, though i have called it edgy but i think its more...dark i guess? any way i actually like this better than Ocarina of Time, before you assault me i loved Ocarina of Time, i just tried to put as few Zelda games on the list as i could, and i just enjoyed the Twilight Princess story, characters, and length a bit more, but back to the remake opinion, i sort of agree yeah, but i thought the mystery around Midna and Zant and the Twilight realm, and the mirror, were all something that sets it apart, so in the end i enjoyed it a lot.                                                                                                                                                                    Favorite Part(s)? Arbiters Grounds. AW MAN, I love the Arbiters grounds, the sneaking, the spinner, the boss, the setting, all of it is on point, even the wolf part is unique with the poe chasing, and also the Final Ganon boss I liked all of it, though his appearance is a bit late i thought it was a fun, long, and intense fight

Number 9: Lego Universe                                                                                      Developer and Release Year: NetDevil and Lego, 2010-2012                                What it COULD ( :( ) be played on: PC                                                                                                                                                                                                              IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND SAY IT THIS IS A PICK COMPLETELY ON NOSTALGIA. Yes, this is one of my favorite games of my childhood and since i cant go back and re-evaluate the game because it’s closed unfortunately (except for some server projects that are happening) I’m talking about it completely based on my memories. One reason I love it is, the game’s story and lore at the time captivated me so much that i decided to write stories about stuff my character(s) did, which basically kick-started my interest in writing, as bad as those stories were, I loved the game, I had it’s official LEGO set (Still do it’s a nice little orange rocket ship that could be used in-game) and convinced my cousins to play it too, and we all enjoyed it, now of course i was an MLGPROBOI at the game so I had rare pets and the best weapons and a RED PARROT GUYS (I believe it was super rare and a big deal) so I loved being really cool n’ stuff, people would ask me to help them take out Butterscorch (that was the hardest boss in the game, a purple dragon, BUT SINCE I WAS AN MLGPROBOI I COULD DO IT MYSELF BUT I WAS NICE SO I HELPED) and even sell them secrets on how to do stuff, yeah i was a cool guy, cant relate now, I’ll never be as cool as my alter-alias Square Von Pancake :(                                                                                                                                                                Favorite Part(s): Me and my brother played i t together all the time and we loved the combat at crux prime the most, Crux Prime was the place with the hardest enemies and bosses and it was really fun to be challenged for a while. plus though it was out for only a year we still have countless memories of it, and they added Ninjago in it which I was SUPER into at the time and enjoyed having my character do Ninjago stuff...  

Number 8: Mount and Blade: Warband                                                                    Developer and Release Year: Taleworlds, 2010                                                      What it can be played on: PC, PS4, XB1                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mount and Blade Warband and its expansion Mount and Blade Napoleonic Wars, is one of my favorite multiplayer, and story games, the story mode is fun because you can do what you want, YOU choose the faction you fight with or not to at all, your class, your stats, and you can make some uh *beautiful* characters, the main story, i believe the objective is to become the emperor of Calradia, and rule the dang place and be rich and cool and have people like you, but I dont usually do that i just fight for factions, make money in the arena and at tournaments, and hire mercenaries and win against armies of 200 with like 30 people, its fun, now second talking point for me is the multiplayer, this is where Napoleonic Wars comes in, it is a fun shooter with muskets , or swords....or screw it you can play the bagpipes, that last one is totally not something me and my friends would do late at night. The Maps are super well designed as well and each look nice, and are usually not unbalanced. The third thing is the modding community, if you have this game, and don’t have the Anglo-Zulu war mod, that is just wrong, I mean it is so fun to get your friends and survive against large waves of zulu, or have some friends with the Zulu, it is just a unique experience for me, and other mods are cool to like the Civil War mod.                                                                                                                                                                    Favorite part(s): The Story mode is awesome in the way that it was a time in m life where i was without internet for a good month or two, but i had my laptop and the story mode kept me entertained for basically the whole time, also there are so many fun memories of the AZW mod and late night spent surviving waves.  

Number 7: Lego Battles                                                                                          Developer and Release Year: Warner Bros., Hellbent and Lego, 2009                  What it can be played on: DS                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Lego Battles is also a nostalgia pick, and also happens to be a Lego game, but the difference is it still holds up to me today, and i can still play it today...any way I love the gameplay, it’s a basic RTS but with fun themes like Wizards and Knights and Pirates and Aliens vs Humans, and each has a different play style, but not too different that it didn’t confuse me as a kid, I always liked the pirates and the aliens, I dont know why, but uh a drawback is that it can be too easy, at the time I wasnt fast or good enough to beat the AI with my first base, but i quickly learned if i just escaped after the destruction of the first one and just built a stronger second one, i would have more time because the AI couldnt find me and i would win pretty much every time, but despite that I enjoyed all the campaigns and loved the cutscenes and the extra characters like Santa and the Skeleton Guy (tm) and the Conquistador and the Alien Queen etc. and the way to unlock them was to find red bricks in the campaign levels, and/or collect studs which i thought was a fun challenge at the time, and today i sometimes like to go back to it for some casual RTS action                                                                                                                                                                                                     Favorite Part: The Gameplay, it’s simple, fun, and  doesn’t take too long, so if i just want to pick up a short game of the RTS genre I usually spring for this

Number 6: Star Wars Battlefront 2 Classic                                                              Developer and Release Year: Pandemic Studios, LucasArts , 2005                      What it can be played on: PC/PS2/XBOX                                                                                                                                                                                                      The fact that this comes in at number 6 on my list really doesn’t tell how much I love and appreciate this game, this is probably THE game I played the most in my childhood, and even still I play it online with the new servers (I disagree with you sometimes Disney, but thanks for those) This game is so replayable and I haven’t even played through the campaign yet, yeah, what I have done though is beaten all the Galactic Conquest stories, probably more than once. So for those of you that don’t know Galactic Conquest is a mode where each team starts with one ship and one type of troop and you fly around a map of the galaxy and take over enemy planets and defend yours and buy troops with the money you earn from the battles, and if the two ships run in to each others then they do a space battle, and Im gonna say it now i grew up playing the PS2 version with my cousins, but now I play the PC version and when we play with our cousins they play the XBOX version on Xbox One, any way the PC version is the best in terms of FPS and general gameplay smoothness, but the console versions have Galactic Conquest multiplayer which is something that we have spent countless hours playing, and in the end Battlefront 2 will be one of the best shooters of all time, and better than the new Battlefront 2 because that one is no where near good enough to share a name with the classic one, any way, i will always love Battlefront 2                                                                                                                                                                  Favorite part(s): Galactic Conquest and shout out to the maps Kashyyyk and Tantine IV, they’re the best

Hey thanks for reading through this whole thing, uh as you can tell this was super long, i planned to do all ten in this one but i figure it’s gettimg pretty long and I’ll just stop here and I’ll have 5 through 1 tomorrow, Thank you so much!                                                                                                                -Ben :3                                                                                                                       

#legend of zelda #Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess #Zelda #Link #lego universe #Lego battles #star wars battlefront 2 #Mount and blade #Mount and Blade Warband #Mount and Blade Napoleonic Wars

[drippeddaily]

Album of the Year #10: JAY Z - 4:44

Album of the Year #10: JAY Z - 4:44

Artist: JAY Z

Album: 4:44

Listen:

Apple Music

TIDAL

Background

Throughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.

Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.

Review

10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:

Kill Jay Z, they'll never love you

You'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay Z

Fuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brother

First thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.

A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):

O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okay

The first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.

Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Jay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.

“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:

I seen eyes wide as they're about to shoot

You can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your roots

On the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:

Y'all body language is all remedial

How could you see the difference between you and I?

The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.

“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!

Do I find it so hard

When I know in my heart

I'm letting you down every day

Letting you down every day

Why do I keep on running away?

No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:

Look, I apologize, often womanize

Took for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyes

After years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.

“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:

I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROC

And throughout the song he says:

Nobody wins when the family feuds

In this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:

Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfies

How is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?

Old n***** never accepted me

And

New n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos Equis

This attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.

For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:

Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOV

The aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.

The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:

Y'all got the same fuckin' flows

I don't know who is who

Jay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:

Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?

Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.

Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:

I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.

“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.

In order to see the reviews of the bonus tracks you must sign up with TIDAL

Just kidding! Who needs exclusivity?

“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.

Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.

MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.

And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.

Favorite Lyrics

I'm surprised you ain't auction off the casket

Caught In Their Eyes

Y'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your ear

There's a disconnect, we don't call that money over here

The Story of OJ

Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian

Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian

Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate

Society shame and the pain was too much to take

Cried tears of joy when you fell in love

Don't matter to me if it's a him or her

Smile

I seen the innocence leave your eyes

I still mourn this death and

I apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't present

Your body wouldn't accept it

4:44

Talking Points

Do you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?

Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?

Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?

Where does he go from here?

How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?

Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?

Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as much

And favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc

(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

Artist: JAY ZAlbum: 4:44Listen:Apple MusicTIDALBackgroundThroughout all of Jay Z’s past albums, we've come to understand and love this character known for his drug dealing, no-strings-attached sex, and excessive wealth (Jay built his Roc-A-Fella dynasty, became CEO of Def Jam Recordings, and achieved so much more due to his ability to hustle). This character being Jay Z, Hov, Jigga, but not Shawn Carter. Although there have certainly been instances of him being personal in the past (selling drugs to his mother, shooting his brother, feeling responsible for his nephews death, and so on), the large majority of his music has been braggadocio. Magna Carta Holy Grail, his previous album (from 2013), spent almost an hour telling us about his love for riches. Whether that be his collection of Basquiat paintings, designer clothes, or liquor preferences, by the end… well we got the point. Although it did touch on serious topics here and there, it was far from what a 40 year old father would sound fitting discussing. The party-friendly, trap-influenced, attempt at mainstream pandering was about as interesting as watching paint dry. And not even a Basquiat at that.Now fast forward to 2017. In the time span between 2013 and now, Solange (his sister-in-law), was caught hitting him in an elevator. Then his once close friend, Kanye West, ranted against him. And finally, his wife, Beyonce, made an entire album about him supposedly cheating on her. With controversy at a high surrounding Jay’s respectability, everyone was hungry to hear what he had to say. Curiosity began peaking when billboards and sign began appearing with nothing more that the the numbers “4:44”. It wasn’t much longer until more went up with a date (6.30.17) and a name, JAY Z. No one knew what to expect from a 2017 Jay album, but it’s safe to say he surpassed any and all that prefaced him.Review10 seconds into the appropriately titled first track, “Kill Jay Z”, we’re faced with these lines:Kill Jay Z, they'll never love youYou'll never be enough, let's just keep it real, Jay ZFuck Jay Z, I mean, you shot your own brotherFirst thing off the bat, Jay is dismembering his persona and taking a more self-aware approach. Eric Carter did survive the bullet, and Jay was only a child when this instance took place, but we can see his past mistakes still haunts him to this day. It appears as though he’s still learning how to live with his regrets. What makes “Kill Jay Z” so transparent is that in the process of examining his mistakes and how needs to change, he attacks the ego that has helped him to achieve so much. It’s only fitting he opens up so much on the opening track. Soon after these lines he goes onto discuss how he must change for his children, his tears, pain, regret, and how the mentality he once needed for hustling is no longer necessary. He touches on his relationship with longtime friend and collaborator, Kanye West, and ultimately we can see they’re not in a good place. He ends the song on a few lines referencing how he ‘almost went Eric Benét’, Eric had continually cheated on Halle Berry, giving us a quick glimpse at a very prevalent regret Jay currently has that we will learn most about on the album's title track. Jay’s reflective lyrics flow incredibly well over the soulful (yet modern) No ID production. No ID handles all the production on the album, and each beat is fantastic and perfect for Jay’s crafting. His drums, sample flips, everything, No ID is a legend and absolutely kills it.A smooth mix of piano and vocal sample (of the legendary Nina Simone) begin “The Story of O.J.”, before Jay comes in discussing the labels that have been attributed to black people in various places of society. The simply worded hook has so much to offer. It shows that people want to separate themselves from molds, but that despite this, due to experiences related to skin colour, there continues to be a common thread and underlying sense of unity. Jay takes 2 perspectives in order to urge people not to abandon recognition of their race, as being aware will help to bring change moreso. This negative viewpoint of his can be seen in this line (most importantly his reaction, listen to how he says it):O.J. like, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." …okayThe first verse has Jay speaking to what could represent his younger south and many black youth today. He encourages drug dealers to stop before it’s too late and invest their earnings in wise and legitimate ways. The 2nd (and final) verse continues to further discuss how Jay has spent money wisely and also where he wishes he had. Ultimately, Jay wants to help those less-advantaged black youth to become successful like he has, and to live a full life. The goal is to paint himself as a healthy role model but also one that can admit his mistakes, to promote the best choices he can. And for such a race related song, the Simone sample is perfect. “The Story of O.J.” is a great song to show Jay’s growth in maturity, and the beat is especially fitting to this growth.Jay’s first lines on “Smile” are continuing from where “The Story of O.J.” left off, further discussing his rags to riches and wealth. But it’s right after these first few lines Jay discusses a more personal insight towards his life, with these lines:Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveJay is going beyond talking about the challenges gays face and allowing us to see how they have impacted his mother. Society would’ve condemned her for being attracted to the same sex. So, she tried for many years to change and act as if she were straight. This moment serves as another great example of Jay’s personal growth, as he used to use homophobic insults in songs such as “Takeover” and “N- What, N- Who (Originator 99)”. Jay goes on to discuss being loyal, his wealth, overcoming obstacles, Funkmaster Flex, and uses his pen-free abilities to craft great wordplay that Hov is known for. He’s showing happiness for his success, for his mom, and for life, which is only right for a song titled “Smile”. ID did a great job with the catchy Stevie Wonder flip and the song ends with a beautiful poem from Gloria, Jay’s mother. She spreads a positive message that encourages people to be happy with who they are, which is very appropriate based on all she had gone through. I believe it’s the 2nd time she has appeared on a Jay album (first being on The Black Album), and is a great way to close a great song.“Caught In Their Eyes” has a more happy beat backing Jay. He uses his first verse to describe his struggles growing up and paints a portrait of those who oppose him. All while using some great wordplay. For instance:I seen eyes wide as they're about to shootYou can be a hairpin off and you can trigger your rootsOn the surface level he’s describing the ways people lived and how they acted, and beyond that is another entendre about Questlove and the legendary Roots. Another line I really like is:Y'all body language is all remedialHow could you see the difference between you and I?The first meaning being the literal, that you can’t fathom how many leagues Hov is above you. But also it sounds like the literal letters ‘U’ and ‘I’. Then on top of that, the previous line ended on ‘remedial’, so you expect him to end the following line in the same scheme. This is no mistake, as ‘me and you’ could work easily in ‘you and I’’s place. His change of lyrics makes the words stand out more and is proper English, which could be a play on ‘language’ in ‘body language’. The whole first verse also has a theme of the human body throughout it, body language, hair, his cheek, and at least 3 references to eyes. It’s a short but very interesting and dense verse. Following it, Frank Ocean lends a small and curious hook, touching on the topic of Solipsism and determining what’s real. He claims he’s ready for Earth. Now I’m not certain of what the exact meaning of the hook is and I don’t want to take too big of stretches, but it’s possible it’s too show that the speaker of the song is more real (in a sense of loyalty and principles) than everyone. So much so that he feels as though everything else is literally fiction. Jay uses the 2nd verse to discuss how Londell McMillan (whom he names specifically) screwed over both Jay and Prince’s wished in regards to Prince’s music on streaming services. Despite Prince giving TIDAL (and only TIDAL) permission to use his music, McMillan sued Jay after Prince died in order to gain full control of Prince’s music. He describes the greed that exists in the record industry and ends the verse continuing on the theme of those who oppose him, referencing his ending friendship with Kanye. All of this sounds great over the groovy Nina Simone-sampled beat. I also really like the voice effects on Frank and Jay, it gives a really interesting texture to the song that makes the incredibly smooth beginning of the next track contrast beautifully.“4:44”, the title track to the album, is in my opinion the most important song to the album. Honestly, I hesitated doing a review on this album because doing this song justice is no easy task. It’s grown to be one of my favourite Jay tracks and my song of the year. But nonetheless I will try!Do I find it so hardWhen I know in my heartI'm letting you down every dayLetting you down every dayWhy do I keep on running away?No ID opens the song with an incredibly introspective piece of foreshadowing. From this 24 second intro, a red carpet is rolled out for Jay to give us opening lines that speak to us. And he does so with:Look, I apologize, often womanizeTook for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyesAfter years of tracks like Big Pimpin, Girls Girls Girls, Ain’t No N-, On To The Next One, 2 Many Hoes… well you get the idea, he opens up this track with lines that directly oppose and regret such a mindset (and lifestyle). 2017 is the year we saw Jay Z the feminist (at least on this song), and I for one love the growth. Jay not only regrets womanizing, but regrets how he treated his wife Beyonce (asking her not to embarrass him, for instance). He mentions begs Beyonce to pick up the phone and the vocal effect on his voice almost reminds me of a phone call, not sure if that was an intentional connection or not (but it certainly enhances my enjoyment regardless). He goes on to describe Beyonce maturing faster than him, dealing with multiple stillborns (when Jay performed this song live on SNL he actually didn’t say ‘stillborn’ because of the pain), treating her poorly in public, his terrible attempts at being a respectable husband (“I suck at love, I think I need a do-over”), and most notably, his unfaithfulness. As Jay and Beyonce grew apart and desolate from the stillborns, he went to find affection through cheating (I read this in a Genius annotation and haven't been able to verify the timeline so take with a grain of salt). This ripped them further apart, and in verse 3 he describes how a threesome resulted in him almost losing his family (also worth noting it lead to Beyonce’s album Lemonade). He goes a step further in his regret to consider how his children will react to these things (seeing the falsehoods in his father as a hero), once they inevitably do through others via the internet or write-ups (hopefully not this one!). As the song climaxes to this realization, the sample hits harder than ever with the words “I’m never gonna treat you like I should”. The roaring beat and verses make for a truly moving dynamic. Raw emotion is dripping in every aspect here. No I.D. brought out the most regretful and personal side of Shawn Carter. The soulful production, emotional vocals, and brutally honest lyrics makes this song not only one of Jay's best, but most wise. The moment it begins, it demands your attention. You don't have to worry about any fools skimming through this one, Jay.“Family Feud” begins with Beyonce, which is perfect for the next song on the album. No ID sampled her vocals throughout the beat and her singing with Jay shows us there is always hope (especially after the previous song). Showing hope for relationships is a vital theme to the song, which we’ll see soon. Jay is back to a more confident approach in offering his wisdom. He spends his first verse talking about being successful, exploring religion, and sends a subliminal shot at Drake (“All this old talk left me confused / You'd rather be old rich me or new you?”). He also criticizes certain fans of old school hip hop for their judgements of new school hip hop fashion. Throughout the song wealth is discussed, but now strictly in braggadocio. He want’s to support fellow black peoples in their endeavours, in order to help revolt against black people being less-advantaged as a result of skin colour. This can be shown with:I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got CÎROCAnd throughout the song he says:Nobody wins when the family feudsIn this case, family is referring to fellow black people. He advises unity and support will help communities, and bring more equality to society. In his Rap Radar interview, he mentions how as you go up in the world of success, there are less and less blacks. He uses his wealth as a goal for others to reach and encourages they do so through helping one and other. The song is both critical of older and newer generations with lines like:Al Sharpton in the mirror takin' selfiesHow is him or Pill Cosby s'posed to help me?Old n***** never accepted meAndNew n***** is the reason I stopped drinkin' Dos EquisThis attempts to display the different mentalities. He continually mentions that 2 billions is better than 1, representing new and old generations (and his marriage as well). The message is this: put aside your differences and work as a team, because nobody wins when the family feuds.For the past 24 minutes and 1 seconds, we have seen “Kill Jay Z” in place, essentially abandoning the persona that lead to his success. But there is a change of pace during the duration of “Bam” that makes it so exciting. The first words from Jay (and a reference to “Public Service Announcement”, from TBA) tell you exactly what I mean:Fuck all this pretty Shawn Carter shit nigga, HOVThe aggressive nature of the line and Damian Marley’s chorus set the song up for Jay to come through to set records straight, and that he does. Dehaven was a drug dealer Jay worked with back in his hustling pre-music days. On social media, Dehaven has routinely claimed Jay never really did much hustling and was a mere runner. Hov spends part of his first verse shooting this down, claiming if he was only a runner he wouldn’t had’ve became the success he is now (as his music and clothing ventures cost a lot to begin). He goes onto explains that his nice side, Shawn, used to be in ‘flight mode’, as he was completely in the Jay Z mindset. This was the side of him that got him to be so wealthy (and continues to push him). Verse 2 is only 12 bars long, but is coated with references and entendres. He uses Rae Sremmurd, Bobby Shmurda, Nat Turner, Kanye, Black Sheep, and even the fact that he skips leg day, all to brag to us in the most clever ways. The mention of Rae and Bobby also could tie back to “Family Feud”, as it’s touching on the theme of newschool rappers. The hard hitting street reggae provide Jay with the perfect backdrop for him to use his ego for good and let people know he’s not fabricated.The title of “Moonlight” is a reference to the film by the same name. It famously was confused with La La Land at the most recent Academy Awards, which Jay references in the hook of “Moonlight”. What makes the film Moonlight noteworthy is that it is the first film to win a Grammy for Best Picture that features an all black class, as well as the first LGBT movie to do the same. Moonlight is special because it excels without being like every other popular movie. The song “Moonlight” is asking rappers to apply this same principle to their artistry, as many popular rap acts aren’t experimenting or pushing the boundaries creativity-wise. Jay isn’t impressed:Y'all got the same fuckin' flowsI don't know who is whoJay pokes fun at the skrrt adlib (used by popular trap acts), how artists use the internet to snitch on themselves (for image), and how many of them not only make the same music, but share the same image. It particularly annoys Jay at the ego many of these artists share:Stop walkin' around like y'all made Thriller, huh?Jay also references how many rappers are signing to their first label offers, and specifically mentions how Lauryn Hill struggled with labels. This is a fitting choice of reference as the song samples Fu-Gee-La. Which gives the chorus’s use of La La Land 3 meanings:reference to film, reference to sample, and reference to artists being ignorant about their quality of music. Jay’s career proves you can make yourself successful without a label’s early on help, whilst innovating and making non formulaic music. This song alone pushes boundaries, in topics for sure, but instrumentally the beat is constantly changing and adjusting (which can be said for 4:44’s production as a whole, in fact). Even his flow is unique, in how he sways his words without ever sticking to one rhythm. He also lived the criminal life many artists use for their image. This gives his words on these topics more respect than otherwise. The song ends criticizing labels for their treatment of artists, mentioning specific CEO’s, in hopes this will sway young artists. Chance, Nas, Lupe, and tons more in the rap industry alone have contributed to this argument all the same. Time will tell if their message and “Moonlight”’s will have an influence or not. Hopefully a healthy change will be made.Marcy Me is a song made to reflect on his past by tracing out homages to his influences and heroes. Before I break down his lyrics, I gotta say Jay’s flow is as good as it ever has been and the piano/drums/vocal-sample/etc work so well with it. This sample is so obscure on some Madlib type style too (“Todo o mundo e ninguém” By Quarteto 1111, from 1970, if anyone’s curious). Onto the rest of the song! The title alone pays respect to the legendary Marvin Gaye and his track Mercy Me. Then the intro is a Biggie quotation that ends before bragging about sex, which is appropriate for the album and it’s apologetic tones. From there, we see mentions of Jam Master Jay (of Run-DMC, RIP), Dennis Rodman, Michael Jordan, Tichina Arnold (an actress on Martin), Denzel Washington, Slick Rick, and Lisa Bonet. And that’s just within the 1st verse. What’s significant about the nostalgia-riddled details is that each of them helped give a young Shawn hope in Marcy, Brooklyn. He describes marcy with:I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand These role models let him keep his head up despite his environment, and because he had hope, he was able to be ambitious, ultimately leading to the development of the Jay Z character that this album has previously explored. We learned earlier that he created Hov as a means to succeed, and we now learn that Hov was able to exist in the first place largely due to the success of other black people. Inspiration was a key factor to his success. Verse 2 has Jay reflecting on his rags to riches story, touching on topics such as cocaine, murderers, areas of Marcy, and rappers that have passed (“rappers turned murals”) or influenced him. Jay sounds confident and relaxed simultaneously. Verse 2 is the definition of ‘cool, calm, and collected’. To end the song, The-Dream (who is way too underrated, just saying) sings a slower outro about remaining true to oneself. It’s a beautiful way to end such a well-constructed strong.“Legacy” begins with a voice recording of his daughter asking what a will is. Jay uses this to explore how his wealth will benefit his kids and so on, and to explore how family history has impacted his life as well. The word ‘legacy’ refers to the wealth left in a will, as well as the aftermath of a predecessor (which can be from a will but not necessarily). The song explores both sides of the coin. The opening verse is more directed as an answer to his daughter’s initial question, talking about how TIDAL, Roc Nation, Ace of Spades, D’USSE, and such business ventures will go onto support his kids and relatives extensively. This side of the song already feels like a personal discussion just between Jay and his kids about what will follow after he dies. He ends verse 1 on his goal of creating generational wealth and even talks about how blacks are discriminated against in the tech industry. Verse 2 goes into even more personal territory about how Jay’s grandfather molested his aunt (of his father’s side). He claims he may one day forgive him for these actions, but that this negative situation had a silver lining for Jay. His grandfather was a pastor, and due to this, Jay wrote off Christianity (by assuming his grand father’s actions were reflective of the religion he promoted). As a result, he explored other religions. This allowed him a diverse understanding of various sets of beliefs, influencing him to be the critical thinking and understanding person he is today. “Legacy” shows how our actions can influence many generations, and through the most personal ways possible. For such heavy messages, Jay brings hope. Hope is communicated so well through the background horns and James Fauntleroy background singing too. It’s a brilliant closer to the album (if you exclude the bonus tracks). Fun fun fact about Legacy: This song samples Donny Hathaway’s 1971 song “Someday We’ll All Be Free, which was recorded by Jimmy Douglas. Fast forward decades and Douglas mixed all of 4:44.In order to see the reviews of the bonus tracks you must sign up with TIDALJust kidding! Who needs exclusivity?“Adnis” is named after Adnis Reeves, Jay’s father (who passed away in ‘03). Adnis abandoned Jay when he was just a child (around 11 or 12). Reeves had spent less and less time at home, in hopes of finding his brother’s killer. Eventually he picked up drug addictions and left home entirely, never contacting Jay. They did meet up eventually, in 2002, and from that meeting he forgave Adnis for abandoning him. This allowed him to drop anger that he held onto for so many years and in place he was able to overcome love/trust issues. “Adnis” is ‘an open letter to [Jay’s] dad that [he] never wrote’. In a very slow flow over a very relaxed beat, Carter discusses how Reeves caused him lots of anger growing up. He mentions how he wrote about wanting to fight him, as a means of expressing that anger. He also recognized himself in stories of his father, and gave thought to how his grandfather’s malicious (previously discussed in “Legacy”) actions may have impacted Adnis. He mentions how before Adnis’ brother died, he was a good person and that he taught Jay valuable lessons. Including loving his step siblings no different than non-step siblings. It’s clear from the first verse that Adnis was a good father and a role model to Jay during some of his earliest formative years. Verse 2 mentions how despite being the youngest in his family, and despite his father’s leave, he eventually became the leader of his family. He mentions how his father reacted poorly to his uncle’s death, because according to their beliefs, his uncle was in a better place. Life was out of Adnis’ hands, instead there were bottles and needles. Despite his father becoming a terrible role model, Jay takes pride in him being a caring parent and husband. It’s a sweet note to end on after the previous more harder to swallow sorrows. Jay doesn’t shy away from talking about emotional subjects, I have no doubt this song was hard to make for him. And then to release such an open and personal song, exposing your thoughts and feelings to the public, couldn’t have been so easy. But I’m grateful he did, because “Adnis” is one of the best this year.Blue’s Freestyle / We Family opens up with Jay’s daughter Blue spitting some straight bars about how she’s never seen a ceiling, seeking those who are innocent, and most interestingly about how everything is shakalaka. I can’t disagree with her there! It’s a cute little opener to a more light hearted sounding song. The beat has some hawaiian influence and Jay never goes to in depth, as each verse is only about 6 lines long (although there are 4 of them). In the short amount of time he does however cover a lot of ground, referencing illuminati claims, his thankfulness for his wife, celebration of heritage, black unity, drug dealing, his worldwide fans, Donald Trump (and his concerns about him), and his excessive travelling. Quite possibly the most amount of topics covered in one song when compared to any other one on the album. And in between each verse is a small hook claiming he’s part of a family. All of these topics, although seemingly unrelated, connect back to the construct of family. His illuminati controversy is because he has heritage (from family members) that roots back to the use of voodoo, he claims tauntingly. His wife is part of his family, and her heritage has played a role in shaping their kids and thus his family. Worldwide fans and black unity are alike in that they are united for a common goal that Jay is involved in, making them family. Drug dealing played a role in his success and as a result him meeting Beyonce, etc. Donald Trump concerns Jay because he cares for his fellow Americans, they’re a form of family as well. What makes this song great is the spider web Jay creates, connecting so many topics so quickly into a light sounding coherent song. And the intro is really all to perfect as an opener for it. Now we just gotta wait on Blue’s mixtape.MaNyafaCedGod (which I’m sure Jay titled like a cap sensitive password in order to aggravate bloggers, anyone else think of that Spongebob meme?) is possibly the most underrated track on the album. It’s got a great beat change, soothing James Blake singing, and really dense honest lyrics. The first beat is real smooth with James on the keys. The first verse talks about Beyonce and Jay Z’s tour together and how it served as a means of healing for them. Among forms of coping, such as drinking, smoking, vacay, and sex. He touches on themes mentioned earlier in the album, such as the ‘what if’ thoughts of losing his kids and wife over stupid decisions he made. During the tour together Jay mentions how after he performed “Song Cry”, she’d perform “Resentment” and that this order of songs was a very real reflection of the emotions they were experiencing. Fauntleroy ends the 1st half of the song with a very poetic piece about changing out of the fear of loneliness, most likely to reflect Jay’s mindset during the aftermath of his cheating. Then the 2nd half begins with a more menacing anxious beat and Jay gives us the final verse on the album (if you’re counting bonus tracks, that is). He begins by mentioning how him and Bey would have to put on an act to look happy for media even though they were not, but that this served as an opportunity to force themselves to look for the good in life. From here, Jay continues in a more prideful and strong commentary in regards to his marriage. He says that they get each other, and will always have one and other through all. He compares their relationship to kintsukuroi, a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by using gold as a bind, resulting in a more beautiful piece. In a similar sense, his marriage is better than ever despite the obstacles it faced. He believes that all these challenges have happened because of forces that are beyond his control, and that people must do their best to handle every situation. He gives us the advice his mother gave him, and that is to never go to bed mad at a loved one. Rather talk out the issues and get peace of mind, sound advice from a guy who’s been through so much.And that is the final song on the project. To conclude, 4:44 is a brilliant album that dives deep into Jay’s most heart-wrenching thoughts and with them comes mature responses. No ID (with some help from James Fauntleroy and occasional sample recommendations from Hov) brings this out in Jay with soul sampling beats that come off nostalgic yet unique, like an updated version of The Blueprint. The verses,the beats, the vocals, the mixing, everything, is done in a way that translates into a feeling of being personal. It’s personal, it’s mature, it’s revealing, it’s emotional, it’s soothing, it’s therapeutic. It extensively covers so much ground in so little time. 4:44 is not only my favourite album of 2017, but one of Jay’s best albums yet.Favorite LyricsI'm surprised you ain't auction off the casketCaught In Their EyesY'all on the 'Gram holdin' money to your earThere's a disconnect, we don't call that money over hereThe Story of OJMama had four kids, but she's a lesbianHad to pretend so long that she's a thespianHad to hide in the closet, so she medicateSociety shame and the pain was too much to takeCried tears of joy when you fell in loveDon't matter to me if it's a him or herSmileI seen the innocence leave your eyesI still mourn this death andI apologize for all the stillborns cause I wasn't presentYour body wouldn't accept it4:44Talking PointsDo you think Jay made the right call ending the album at Legacy?Do you think Jay made the right decision not to have any radio singles for the album?Where does this album compare among the rest of his discography?Where does he go from here?How do you feel about the mixing on some of Jay’s vocals?Do you agree with Jay’s social commentary on songs like Family Feud and Story of OJ?Thoughts on Jay's flows? Marcy Me is very different from some other songs because the other ones doesn't showcase flow as muchAnd favourite lyrics/songs/moments etc(Edit - James Blake not Fauntleroy correction made)

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