#i've never seen ratatouille

[kimchokejin]

Tagged by @seoksao to do the "which character" personality test and post my results and honestly thank you so much for tagging me this was so fun because i'm obsessed with comprehensive personality quizzes (shocker) and i got a bunch of my coworkers to take it too and i loved seeing everyone's results! i could fit my top 46 in the screenshot so that's what you're getting

i could also see which character i was like from specific shows so they're not on the list but i was also similar to eric from that 70s show, jonah from superstore (a callout), peeta from the hunger games, and reid from criminal minds <3

Tagging: don't be nervous you can do this @courtthisdisaster (if you wanted to post it!), @blueside-hobi, @cheekyquokka, @hopeinthebox, @mutedstring, @not-so-secretly-mairon, @stardiviner13, and anyone who sees this!

#tag: i'm it! #seoksao #courtthisdisaster #blueside-hobi #cheekyquokka #hopeinthebox #mutedstring #not-so-secretly-mairon #stardiviner13 #i haven't done this in so long sorry if the tagging doesn't work #if you've already been tagged just message me i'll tell you where i live so you can come punch me in the face #i thought charlie swan at number 1 was the funniest possible result until i saw the guy from ratatouille was an option #dr. james wilson is also a callout. for me and all my fellow type 9s #i watched degrassi religiously and idk why i scored so high for connor the ONLY storyline i remember from him was the panty raiding #why yes i do have an excessive amount of repressed internal rage thanks for asking #i don't agree with my score for ann perkins but i sure am flattered! #i've never seen arrested development but i immediately knew i got michael cera #please never ask me to make a decision. i'll cry #the text is all different sizes but fixing it seems complicated #if you're reading this you should probably drink some water <3

[homunculusalphonse]

so how many "masterpieces" contain fatphobia that everyone collectively ignores? bonus points if they're animated movies/series

#captain's log #read: wall-e / ratatouille / puss in boots 2 from what i've seen #there are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more i'm afraid #but they would never fit in one post #fatphobia tw

[peachteakitty]

I will never get over how funny it is that my mom calls me "Ratatouille" because that's what she hears every time my dad calls me "Anne Boonchuy"

#my dad watches Amphibia once and now I am Anne Boonchuy forever #also both my parents REALLY like ratatouille which is also funny considering I've seen it 30 times #they bring it up like everyday #I will never escape Remy

[one-time-i-dreamt]

not a dream

I've never seen the Bee Movie

I've never seen Ratatouille

But because of you all, I don't need to watch them because I've read all the spoilers on here and know all the memes already

#not a dream #bee movie #ratatouille #movie #animation

[bonefall]

Hi again, I was the anon who sent that ask about Ivypool and Dovewing in the new Ultimate Guide! As for your curiosity about his final life: Skystar will die fighting dogs to save Thunderstar's kit, Feather Ear after the dogs attack a Gathering, and in return Thunderstar saves Star Flower. I don't know the specifics more than that, though because I haven't had the chance to read it myself- sucks that they're giving him a noble death when he's a asshole, but what else is new with him. :| Also you're so right about the sisters not reconciling, because not only do I agree SO so much <3, but I actually got to read the excerpt for myself and was so frustrated by the end. Girlie, Ivypool was never there for you, not when it counted like when she gave you the silent treatment before you left the clan and didn't defend you at all when you came back and got berated by everyone for leaving, it's time for YOU to walk away and give her the silent treatment. Stand up for yourself queen!

Oh that's so lame lmaooo, really?? Skystar big damn hero moment saving a baby? They had to summon a random dog event because they couldn't think of any other way to send him out? DUMB shit.

I should have known that the end of Riverstar's Home was too good to be true </3 Ah well.

Not like canon ever gives me good shit to work with in DOTC lol. Ratatouille ass ruining the soup and I'm running my little rat paws ragged trying to fix this dishwater.

Anyway yeah screw that. BB!Dovewing isn't forgiving Ivypool. I have to take a look at the passage before making a judgement on it though but I'm very much not a fan of the idea.

I'll bet they probably did that dumb thing where Dovewing had to apologize for hurting Ivypool's feelings, too. But I'll bring it back up when I've seen it

#bone babble

[drbtinglecannon]

I've never seen Ratatouille before so we're watching it now, and it's been giving me horrific anxiety from my old cook days

#the way the restaurant is so realistic while also being so fucking unrealistic is fascinating #yeah cooks ARE like that no the kitchen would be significantly more hectic and messy during working hours also they're mad understaffed #remy first being in the kitchen trying to escape nearly gave me a heart attack it was so stressful to watch #anyway can't believe this movie is almost 20yrs old I definitely thought it came out mid 2010s #the controlling the body with hair thing is also a bit unsettling

[hyperactivewhore]

I despise both Renesmee Cullen's and Hope Mikaelson's existences. Both characters are plot holes and shouldn't exist.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen is the daughter of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. She's half-human and half-vampire, and in Twilight, it was explained that only male vampires can have children with female humans. But that doesn't make any sense because vampires in Twilight don't have any blood in their bodies. Then, Stephanie Meyer explained that the venom that is in their bodies works similarly to the bodily fluids that are in humans. But if that was the case, then Bella shouldn't have gotten pregnant. She should have become a vampire after having sex with Edward. Renesmee is called 'half mortal and half immortal' by Aro, but how can a person be half mortal and half immortal? She's either mortal or immortal. She can't be both. Does she age, or does she not? Can she live forever, or does she have the lifespan of a human?

Now, onto Hope.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson is the daughter of Klaus Mikaelson and Hayley Marshall-Kenner. She's a werewolf, vampire, witch tribrid. In the pilot episode of The Originals, it was explained that since Klaus was born a werewolf and became a vampire because of magic and not by drinking the blood of another vampire and dying with that vampire's blood in his system, he was able to conceive. Vampires in The Vampire Diaries are infertile and can not have children, and while Klaus is the world's first werewolf-vampire hybrid, he's still part vampire. He shouldn't have been able to have a child, which was confirmed in Legacies. The only reason Hope exists is because Malivore. So, if Malivore never existed, Hope would have never existed. She wasn't born because her father was created differently from traditional vampires, but because it is her destiny to defeat a mud monster.

Both characters are great (more so Hope because she was given her own show, and I grew to like her over Legacies' 4 season run. Renesmee was kinda there. Her CGI in the movies creeped me out, and she absolutely did nothing in the book), but their existence goes against the canons of their respective movies/books and show.

It's funny because both are created as plot devices to Bella and Klaus and they're meant to be the magical powerful baby of their universe, but their existence alone just makes it look ridiculous by breaking every single canon law.

As you said, Renaissance came out of nowhere. She was soo incredibly intelligent from the very first moment her parents made her, but apparently not smart enough to control her own strength seeing she broke several Bella's bones (like honestly, what the hell) and this demon spawn craved human blood for absolutely no logical reason other than Edward being a vampire. Ratatouille also could not be seen in the ultrasound or any other thing: she had a impenetrable amniotic sac because yes, exactly, her daddy is a vampire!

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Ravioli. I've never finished reading Breaking Dawn (and I won't), it was such a corny book and I could only bring myself to the third part, where Bella spends time with baby Rasputin but I've heard interesting things to how the Cullen rise this sim. Apparently, Bella and Edward couldn't care less about their daughter, because as always they were more obssesed with each other and Rosalie did all the parenting, because the love birds couldn't be distracted with their CGI spawn. If I'm correct, Edward even called Bella more beautiful than Rim Job right in her face and instead of being mad, because their kid was right there, Isabella was just like "gosh edward, ily sm 😘😜😍"

Parents of the year.

Stephenie Meyer didn't care about Bella and Edward being parents: she just wanted the aesthetic that came with it, and she pulled the reasons of the human-vampire pregnancy out of her ass.

Actually, when I was in my twilight phase, I read a fanfic where Bella got pregnant, and the reason was a little more "coherent" than what Meyer gave: Having died so young, Edward's body "froze" his sperm and because he had remained a virgin for over a hundred years (lmao), he was able to get Bella, the first and only woman he slept with, pregnant. It's still shitty, and bad, but if they wanted them so badly to have a kid this was a better reason.

I just can't take Twilight books seriously. Apparently, there are no black vampires for a barely explained reason that is clearly racist (if I remember, the venom that vampires inject you during death just... removes your skin color), the mistreatment to the werewolves is just terrible, and there's Ratatunga too.

Now, moving to Hope Andrea Mikaelson, the white witch that is hated and loved in equal measures by the fandom. Oh my, this is gonna be interesting.

I have my moments with Hope, to be honest. Sometimes I completely adore her, and sometimes I just can't stand her. Her existence was completely pulled out of Pl*c's ass, who wanted to have her own version of Renameme so badly. Klaus shouldn't have even been able to procreate in the first place, because he was killed before Esther binded his werewolf side. Though vampires in tvd are more alive than dead, but that's a whole different thing. But clearly my point still remains.

I like Hope Mikaelson a lot more than Ragnarok Cullen, Summer Fontana/Danielle Russell and Mackenzie Foy are all really amazing and beautiful actresses who did great with the role they were given, but their characters completely broke canon. I like the tribrid more though because at least, she wasn't a fucking sim that aged five years in a week unlike Nestlé. The only way I could ever like Radioactive is by having her completely loathe her parents and family, especially because she was born in 2006 aka she's part of Gen Z.

Both characters shouldn't even exist in the first place, and Hope's existences is as much of a plothole as Riptide's. Renesmee gets more hate simply because of how she was in the womb and also because of how fast she grew, but they're both plotholes and shouldn't have been created no matter their popularity.

#I had so much fun with ravioli's nicknames 🤭 #i still adore hope #but hmm #renesmee cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #bella cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #bella x edward #klaus mikaelson #hope mikaelson #twilight #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to

[ddejavvu]

hey icon bae can i request a remus x reader AU where they’re both camp counselors and it’s just like cute fluff of reader giving one of the kids a piggy back and he’s just infatuated by her? ily

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

icon bae i giggled - ily too!

--

"Michael your- arms," You wheeze, coughing slightly as the seven year-old's arms tighten around your neck, "You're choking me."

Remus hears your splutters, Michael too caught up in giggling about how high he is off the ground, and rushes over to help you. He pries the child's hands off of your throat, giving you your airway back and watching you concernedly as you struggle to breathe.

"Thanks Rem," You chuckle incredulously, wiping a pearly tear from your eye, "Jesus, I-"

"Language." Remus scolds you, a stern frown sent your way. And then before you can even process it, a smile, breaking through his features. He could never stay mad at you.

"C'mere Michael," Remus hoists the boy off of your back and fits him on his own, wincing as the child's light-up sneakers dug into his side, "Let's not kill Counselor Y/N, okay?"

Michael giggles at you, completely unaware of any pain he put you through. You throw him a teasing smile, rubbing one last time at your stinging neck, "Hey, Michael. Have you ever seen Ratatouille?"

The boy's face scrunches in confusion, "The rat who cooks?"

"That's the one." You confirm, a devilish glint in your eyes as you lift his hands from Remus's shoulders, placing them in your co-counselor's fluffy brown hair, "Lead the way, buddy!"

Michael is far too eager to yank on Remus's hair and the man shoots you another faux-exasperated glance, "Y/N, how could you?"

"I've always wanted to see if it worked." You shrug, "Now I'll know."

"It does," Remus grits out, his head jerking to the side as Michael nearly rips a clump of his hair out, "It hurts bad enough that you move to make it stop."

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin one-shot #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin headcanons #remus lupin hc #remus lupin hcs #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fic #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin dialogue #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader fanfiction #remus lupin au #camp counselor!remus #multiverse mondays #ddejavvu's multiverse mondays

[skyfallscotland]

I love your fics so much especially fear and flame and I was just wondering where you got the name remi for, like is there some meaning behind it? I love her character so much, such amazing imperfect but completely badass woman representation but her name kinda reminded me of ratatouille lmaoo(I know different spelling loll) so was just wondering loll, anyway love your writing so freaking much absolutely wonderful!! I've just been re reading your fics since November lmao

I'm laughing so hard right now. I've never seen Ratatouille but I'm assuming that's the rat? 😂

The name can mean remedy or cure! I pick all my names for original characters based off their meanings and I thought that was perfect because it hinted at her signet and she's his remedy 🥺🥺

& I'm glad you like her so much! 🖤

#basgiath (remi's version) #remi's version asks

[beandump]

Has anyone had anything to say about izzy's little glove? I've seen the entire show analyzed back to front but i haven't seen anything about the glove. Is there ever a scene where he's not wearing it? Is it his sword hand so that's why he's always wearing it? Does it have anything to do with his name? What's under there???????

HES ALWAYS WEARING IT!!! and tbh I'm sure there is meta out there regarding the in text possibilities for it but we have so little info on it we can only speculate. Even in the almost-nakey scene in e10 his right hand was on his other side out of frame!!

In the most practical of explanations it could just be a glove for fencing

In the most fanfiction of explanations it could be covering gnarly scars

Could be he has a ratatouille situation under there

(Could be full of Vaseline to keep it soft for Blackbeard a la that guy from of mice and men lol)

Or maybe that's the hand he writes "Mr. Israel Teach" on over and over again! If he can write, I'm sure he does that somewhere.

Maybe the costuming director looked at the name "Izzy hands" and was like oh I have the funniest idea

WE JUST DONT KNOW - on a symbolic level tho...

as "Izzy" as he is, he's also just like. So fully buttoned and covered all the time (a fully tied actual tie! on a pirate!) - he is a fussy little man for one and I'm loving the recent metas showing how he and stede parallel in that regard. Costuming is SO DELIBERATE on this show I can't believe anything is coincidence. Ed and Stede dress down, unbutton their collars, and wear the red dressing gown as they become more vulnerable with each other. At the end of the season Ed trades in his fingerless gloves for full ones - closing himself back up. But Izzy is covered from neck to fingertip for 99% of the show - an indicator of a character who can show ZERO vulnerability. He is Blackbeards RIGHT HAND MAN (and is honored to be so) and this is how he shows it; never backing down from the role he plays, never showing fear or uncertainty, never SHOWING HIS HAND. Wearing full gloves is very in line with this type of character design.

So maybe the outlier we should be focusing on is actually his uncovered LEFT hand??? Why would that be his one vulnerable spot? In the western world, the left hand is one taken in marriage. if Blackbeard owns his right, who has his left? Is it the only part of him that's HIS, or is it someone else's? Or is he waiting, showing a peek of vulnerable skin adorned with an x (a signature, a treasure marker, a mirror of the one on his cheek) for the taking, for Blackbeard to claim it too?

#ofmd #ofmd meta #izzy hands #Izzy's glove #beardhands #izzybeard #kinda #this went places i didnt expect wow #i almost ended up back at my jokey izzy is jackies first husband post lmao but i swerved #my posts #izzy flashing his left ring finger like oh no blackbeard what ever will i do with this #its so naked an unadorned #better grab it before someone else does

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

If you dont mind me asking, while dont you want to rewatch how to train your dragon or ratatouille, but spiderverse is a fav?

I love movie vents

Oh Dear

so- to start with, again, these movies are GOOD! they are good and i am glad they exist. i just have to stay far far away from them.

the why starts years ago. it starts with reading book after book after book.... after book... and watching movie after movie after mov- you get it, just basically Everything- where the default non-romance story is about a Boy.

And often this boy is mediocre. He's relatable, you know? He's just normal. But by the end, he's done all this cool stuff and got all this cool stuff- He won the thing! Or got the thing! He showed everyone just how good he was- okay sometimes yes by lying about it for most of the story but he comes clean in the end so it's fine.

Usually he also gets a girl. Or impresses her. Something like that.

That was. Well. It got stale after a while. I have four sisters and was raised by my single mom. People (mostly) looked at me and saw a girl.

But hey, the stories and movies had other stuff I like so whatever, you know? Aliens and swords and stuff. Maybe the main character was character I liked the least, so what. The story needed him to exist.

What does this have to do with the three animated movies so many people fell in love with?

Well.

They each remember girls exist. And ladies can be cool. They can be good at stuff!

But.

No matter how good she is, no matter how much she's trained or how hard she worked or respects this thing or how much it means to her-

the guy will be better at it than her

the guy. who couldn't do the thing at all.

he just needs a quick montage, or a rat under his hat, and suddenly she's in the dust

And you know what that's fine it's fine it's especially fine in Kung Fu Panda where the boy (po) is fat and the point is that's okay he can be fast and graceful and powerful and cool- THAT i've never seen before and it's Amazing-

only. po still.... he still gets the place tigress spent her whole life training for.

This still in a world where most of the powerful people (shifu, tai lung, oogway, the other kung fu masters we see in that and later films) most of them are, well, guys.

It's a whole lot of guys.

Everywhere. Guys. Why? No idea. Their gender doesn't really inform or guide their actions. Tigress and Viper aren't commented on as rare for being lady martial artists. There's no reason for there not to be more lady kung fu masters. I guess this is a movie made by guys and so the default is guys. Fine! No problem!

im so tired

po becomes dragon warrior in a montage of training and a quick dose of self realization. tigress is impressed and stops being mean to him. the fandom wants them married

no big deal

I'll come back to that in a moment, but-

Hiccup is the mediocre guy (by viking standards) who through trickery (empathy) becomes the best at this thing that this girl he likes is really good at. but he comes clean in the end and she's very impressed and he's so much better at the thing now he's the best at the thing and saves her at some point and now she's into him and they get together

tired

hey there's this guy and he's bad at thing and this cool girl is good at thing so through trickery he gets better at her than thing bc there's a rat under his hat but don't worry he comes clean and the girl is very impressed

i can't . im too tired

if she didn't like him before he was cool, i don't want them together afterwards.

I'm so exhausted of being told it's sweet

the same implication bashed over my head again and again- a guy cannot be loved if he is just a dork or just mediocre. He has to also be "cool".

The girl won't notice or like him until he is Better than her at the thing she loves

the other implication- no matter how hard a girl trains, how long she studies, how much she works for it- the guy can learn it in a montage and do it better. Or he can lie about it and that's okay too.

(po was a kung fu nerd but im sorry, im sorry that's not the same as training from childhood)

(do you remember how in legally blonde the ex boyfriend wasn't even that good at lawyer studies like elle getting better than him didn't mean her being the best ever and she ends up being so good bc of the other stuff that WAS part of her main life experience?? remember that?????)

(maybe if they'd leaned in more into Po's fat protecting him and his nerdness or cooking xp guiding him against tai lung, but he uses epic kung fu to fight the most dangerous master around and holds his own. he does better than tigress did with four others to back her up. im sorry. i know it's awesome and im glad it's a film. i can't rewatch it)

WHY did they make tigress want to be dragon warrior?

they never really explore her and shifu's relationship in that movie or the sequels. there's so little pay off to her accepting that she can't be the student or child shifu always wanted and lost. they are never the focus of the movies. never even plot B. Tigress didn't need to want this

the only ones who had to be ANGRY about po as dragon warrior was tai lung and shifu, his master who has to train him and the rival who wants his title. Everyone else could have just been reasonably confused and skeptical. tigress could have gone off to fight tai lung purely out of a lack of faith in po and wish to protect shifu- why why why why why did they have the plot point of her WANTING to be dragon warrior and RESENTING po for taking it? why did they have po filling this role she worked so hard to be ready for?

why did her character have to be a SHE for that, in a world with almost no other important or powerful ladies?

oh. right. girls can be good, but the guy will be better. that's the only way she'll respect him.

i've seen this story before

I don't think it's insidious or anything like that. It's just, the normal.

That's why I can't watch it.

im tired

Atlantis The Lost Empire- Milo is a noodle guy he solves things with brains and compassion and curiosity, Kida is the one with a spear, the lady throwing guys around-

ah but we must have Milo physically brawl with the villain to save Kida. he can be a lame nerd, but only if he also is "Cool"

tired

NOW. Spiderman Into the Spiderverse!

Miles never takes Gwen's place.

They are BOTH their universe's spiderman- he CAN'T replace her, he CAN'T outdo her, he CAN'T be better than her-

because there is no Best version of spiderman

a pig can be spiderman

YOU can be spiderman

so when he gets his confidence in time for the last fight, when Miles finds his groove and takes his leap of faith after a whole movie of stumbling around flailing frantically and turns badass- he takes NOTHING from Gwen. Nothing.

She is still her world's spidy,

and AND she liked him BEFORE he was "cool"!!!!!

When he was a mess desperately trying to figure things out, she tried to help him. Worked with him. Became friends with him.

Friends.

That also. My gods. He tries to flit at the end, she smiles and says friends, he smiles and they fist bump over it.

He got cool and didn't get the girl.

He was himself and already had a friend.

She is powerful and cool and a girl and worked hard to get where she is, and no one EVER outdoes her at it.

You can make a story about a normal guy becoming badass while crushing on an awesome girl, you can LIFT HIM UP without having to PUSH HER DOWN.

They can stand on the same level and be epic together.

I've needed to see that story, for so. Fucking. Long.

so yeah. my tiny personal problem. there 'tis

#. #... #...... #......... #....... #if this shows up in any of the tags im sorry please scroll past

[fuckinbrunch]

First off, I hate lemon with anything hot. In my book, lemon belongs in deserts and drinks only. When I said I'm a picky bitch, I really wasn't kidding.

Shoved full of thyme and lemon wedges, and a few dry bay leaves. The recipe calls for fresh a bay leaf but I've never seen these in a store in my life, so dry will have to do. The butter looks ridiculous at first but really does moisten the chicken well. There's some under the thigh skin too.

Listen, I followed his direction and timing to a T. But to me, that chicken needs more time. Like at least ten minutes more. The breast was suuuuper tender and moist, but the legs were a little bloody for me. I forgot to photograph the sauce made from the chicken drippings, but it was on the watery side. Tasty but wet. Needed more reducing than was stated in the book.

The chicken recipe clearly states that this must be served alongside. These intimidating freaking potatoes.

Always practice safe mandolin handling. I stole this glove from an old job and it's finally come in handy (lol).

Two layers of potato slices here. 7 whole potatoes. He called for 10-12, but I didn't think they would all fit in my pan.

So pretty. Giving me Ratatouille vibes. If you look closely, you'll see that I even ground my own black pepper, in a freaking mortar and pestle. Now just potato, butter, season, repeat...

Definitely should have over filled the pan with raw potatoes, they shrunk pretty significantly. He says to bake this off beforehand, then gently reheat it in a 300 degree oven alongside the roasting chicken. So that's what I did.

In the end, I couldn't do the iconic flip out of the pan. I couldn't even slice it cleanly to plate it straight from the pan, the potatoes were just too tender. Julia Child would be ashamed.

They still tasted fantastic, but were a complete structural failure. They were absolutely swimming in butter. I would have scalded the shit out of myself if I attempted the flip. Suspiciously, there's no photo of a Pommes Anna in Tony's book, just the recipe. Take from that what you will.

At least the chicken breast looks nice...

| Roast Chicken with Lemon and Butter & Pommes Anna |

Taste is a 4 out of 5. Not too lemony, but very moist. A good contrast to the butter heavy potatoes.

Difficulty is a 4 out of 5. The potatoes are tedious and prep heavy.

Time was around 3 hours. A lot of oven juggling.

I know this could have been a 5. I have to redeem myself from this. I have another whole chicken in my freezer, and a bunch of potatoes left.

After dinner, I decided to heat the potato pan back up on my stove until the bottom potatoes were crisp, then broiled it in the oven to try to crisp the top...

Welp. Yeah. Delicious, but fucking ugly. The French are going to hunt me down with torches and pitchforks.

I don't exactly have time to be repeating recipes if I want to get the whole book done by years end, but I'll squeeze in this redemption round sometime soon...

#anthony bourdain #appetites a cookbook #cooking #recipe #roast chicken #potatoes

[leam1983]

The Menu - Thoughts

My father used to be a Real Estate Appraiser for most of his career, first on the private sector and then for Montreal's City Hall. It's the kind of job that doesn't come with a lot of perks, except for an office-paid Expenses account that allows for small displays of largesse, mostly to flatter a client's ego or appease someone else's doubts. Repeated exposures would sometimes result in small, more personal perks; like getting to know someplace's sous-chef by their first name, cracking jokes in out-of-office settings and eventually scoring the occasional token of friendship. Say a pass at an exceedingly ritzy table, the kind where everything is deconstructed, remixed, replated, revised and reviewed, and a table for three with four courses each goes for well over a few thousand bucks. Normally.

I say normally, because I grew up with the sous-chef's daughter, skinned my knees on the same rough concrete stairs in Montreal. She was my friend for a long time. We shared toys, hobbies, game consoles - and the occasional table.

Twice in all my life, I was given a rare gift.

Take what I've just described, convince yourself that you'll never taste it, see it for yourself, spend years thinking that food's just something you use to either find comfort or fuel yourself - and then get invited at that kind of table.

Not because you've got the cash for it, not because you're their usual clientèle, far from it - but because you're a friend.

The one course that's etched into my brain is a kind of phyllo pastry, but lighter and bigger than your usual stuff - like a blown-out and refined spanakopita, except it's not just feta cheese and spinach. Oh, no. It's organic goat cheese fresh from this morning, with a drizzle of sorrel sauce. The plate is eons above your pay grade and at the time, if you're me, you're still a teen eking out a living with some volunteer work that occasionally translates to a paycheck. A few hundred words here and there and bam - the big finish. Three hundred bucks richer.

That plate was something I could've never afforded, something I was never so much as born to eat. But there it is. Sorrel sauce and goat cheese, with puff pastry's snootier cousin crackling between my teeth, ever-so-sweet.

What tasted the best in it was the friendship I could sense. The exclusivity of the moment. I'd earned my way to this dish for free with years of bad barbecues, of letting Jenny win at Mario Kart, of helping her out with French while she tortured multiplication tables out of me. This was something some bougie asshat would've paid for with a Platinum Amex; and it was something I'd paid for in time. In patience. In kindness. In realizing that food, sometimes, is a gift. When that gift is given freely, it tastes all the better.

The Menu, directed by Mark Mylod, is what you'd get if some of the chefs I ended up getting to know could speak freely, sometimes, or what you'd get if Ratatouille's Anton Ego had been an ass and had driven Remy the Rat to nadirs of obsession. We follow one Margot Mills (Anya Taylor-Joy) as she seemingly serves as the accompaniment to foodie Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) during an evening at Hawthorne's.

What is Hawthorne's, you might ask? It's the isolated island restaurant helmed by the ultra-perfectionist Julian Slowik, played by Ralph Fiennes. Forget your usual celebrity chefs, Slowik is someone that's talked about but rarely seen, the exclusive priest of Epicurus to an even more exclusive table - the kind of place that invites you by text, instead of waiting for you to place a reservation. Apparently, it's a bit like a geisha house: if you know someone who knows someone, you have a chance to get in. This fosters a very small black book's worth of clients - and obviously limits it to the ultra-wealthy or to those with a desperate need of being seen.

As you'd expect of a horror-comedy with a very serrated edge, there's plenty of odd shit right off the bat and the menu only gets spicier once Slowik introduces one of the courses, titled The Mess, by asking of one of his maîtres de partie that they shoot themselves in the mouth in full view of the paying customers.

You laugh because everyone plays it off, predictably. They all think it's part of some sort of act - Murder Mystery on the house, except the victim is the culprit and everyone knows about it - but then the staff makes it clear that everyone is going to die, tonight.

Diners and staff included.

As this is The Menu, a tale of bloody vengeance on a Molecular Cuisine-sourced mix of absolutely luscious Food Porn, served as cold as biting cynicism demands.

A few courses in, I'm reminded of Peter Greenaway's The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and her Lover, its similar piles of food and the way the lavishness of the setting reflects the odiousness of those involved. There's no gangster styling themselves as a gourmand in sight, though, no Albert Spica expies to torture. Instead, each table gets its own just desserts, pun intended, and the wider assembly gets a few darkly-amusing digs at the cruelty of the fine dining experience in its own right.

The amuse-bouche, for instance, is a plate of oils and infused creams, obviously intended to serve as dippings or garnishings for bread - but no bread is ever provided. Instead, the guests have access to a little paper in the same plate, on which is stated that the bread they will not be eating will be sourced from and served to a struggling community's food bank. We never see the more deserving bread-havers, but just knowing that somewhere out there is someone who might be having the best baguette of their lives while these caricatures of Upper Crust asshats have to dab little wood spoons in tarragon oil and pretend to like it is brilliant.

Suffice it to say, things go progressively to thematically-appropriate levels of shit and the movie delights in torturing everyone between has-been movie stars begging for scraps to Wall Street finance bros glad-handing one another for "crushing it at work" while their personal lives implode. It's gleeful like I haven't seen a horror movie be in several years, and extremely self-aware in its own tone, like an actor who's told to act all snooty and snobbish but who then lets it slip that they're entirely aware of the clownishness of it all.

A few tropes are on offer, I won't say which ones, and their placement is predictable, but the pacing is perfect. You see everything coming a mile a minute, but this is Grand Guignol-grade, in the sense that you'll delight in seeing it all coming. Unlike the chefs featured, who give their lives to Art in the very literal sense, the movie very clearly has fun in setting up its own stakes, in deconstructing its own recipe and serving you a final payoff that, like its two last dishes, are the epitome of comfort foods.

Suffice it to say, Walter loved The Menu and is now combing the Web for an exact listing of the dishes created, associated recipes - and if it's possible to whip up variations on them on a tighter budget.

I mean, all three of us are foodies, sure, but pine nuts are beyond prohibitive and truffle oil is better off being seen as something you make last over several years, like that one perfume bottle you splurged on six years ago and that your S.O. insists on using sparingly.

Unless you're rich, that is, in which case you can probably bathe in the stuff if you'd care - but you know what we say about the rich while at the table, right? Wink-wink and whatnot...

#review #the menu #ralph fiennes #anya taylor-joy #nicholas hoult #the cook the thief his wife and her lover #peter greenaway #albert spica #movie #thoughts

[genderflu1dwh0r]

Tori: I want to talk about the movie Chicken Little.

Jade: I've never seen it.

Tori: That explains a lot.

Tori laughs:

Jade: Why I got held back in 3rd grade.

Tori: Chicken Little and Stuart Little.

Jade: Never seen that.

Tori shocked: You've never seen Stuart Little??

Jade: I've seen the memes, but I've never seen the movie.

Tori: There is a lot of online discourse about- uh- if Stuart Little could beat the shit out of Remy from Ratatouille.

Jade: I think Remy would eat Stuart Little.

Tori: I think Remy is from the streets, Stuart Little's a little pompous pretentious- I mean, he's- he's a house rat.

Jade: Didn't he get adopted?

Tori: Yeah.

Jade: There's that tweet that I know where it's like "Imagine like someone choosing a mouse over adopting you."

Tori laughs:

Jade: That's the same energy as like the golden retriever that plays basketball. "I didn't make the basketball team." "Ugh." "There was this fucking dog, he was so good-"

Tori: Air Bud.

Jade: There's that one kid who got cut from the team, so a golden retriever-

Tori: A literal animal plays better than you.

#victorious #jade west #tori vega #incorrect quotes #peepee poopoo time #ppppt

[voidpumpkin]

You always have interesting opinions, and apologies in advance if this is too specific of a question, but, in your perspective, what do you think is a children's movie that had a moral/message that you disagree(d) with or think was poorly executed? Not something people say all the time like Beauty and the Beast and kidnapping and whatever, but like, I've seen people argue on the message/theme of Ratatouille (cannot recall what this argument is for the life of me), but just as an example.

nah, you touched upon something I've been hoping people would ask. I unfortunately don't have one for kids movies, all the ones that come to mind work, or work whilst being flawed, or do in fact work it's just that the popular analyses' are dumb

so I'm replacing 'movie' with 'tv show' and talking about steven universe as its the only thing I can think of that fits your question

It's messages of non-violence, communication and forgiveness are undermined by the setting. By using war and colonialism as the framing device all of its messaging takes upon weird implications and falling into tired tropes of sympathesing for colonisers. The diamonds have done a LOT of shit than is too one to one to real world atrocties that people directly affected by it saw the implications of forgiving them and took umbrage, also the sheer amount bad stuff they've done and the lack of time and effort put into their redemption also results in people just not liking or believing it. Not helped by the fact that the story gives more time to the colonisers than their victims

(the missed opportunity that was trying to slowly heal and learn about the corrupted gems will always make me angry)

Then there's pink diamond, the revelation of rose is pink ruins any and all sympathy you have as the diamonds go from 'women who tragically lost their daughter' to 'women dealing with the consequences of their own actions because their daughter fled their mistreatment and opposed their colonialism'

there's also the fact the final arc is rushed beyond belief meaning any and all nuance is squandered, and if one replies 'they didn't have time, the show was cancelled', my response is, 'if they didn't have time to make a good story then they shouldn't have at all.'

It's messaging about nonviolence has always had weird implications due to the episode that started it, bismuth, has Steven telling a black coded women that killing oppressors to end their oppression makes her as bad as them. This reasoning is never dealt with again and looms over all future messaging.

also in a post trump world the pre trump conceived story of 'reaching to redeem/change your bigoted relatives' has aged extremely poorly.

tl;dr i can't think of a bad message in a movie but I can in a show. Steven universe, it's high stakes setting and post war/colonial backdrop creates weird/bigoted implications for its messages

[ursaribbon]

actually, i DID do something productive for my own versatility as a human being

since i was so sleep deprived today i just kinda huddled in a corner and put my head down for a bit and then i still couldn't fall asleep

so i decided while i had some extra time i would finally watch ratatouille, which i've somehow never seen despite hearing about it on the internet every now and then and being a disny kid at heart

i was talking with my brother about it a while later and he said he's already seen it at least twice even though he's younger than me which is like?? then how the heck did i avoid it all this time

and then i was talking about it at dinner and my dad was like "i think we all saw it as a family once" and my mom was like "and i think we saw it when they were doing those free kids movie screenings at the theater that one summer" and i was like "no bc i literally didn't know ratatouille was the name of a dish they serve in the movie until a few days ago and i had no idea what the plot was at all before i saw it today"

and then also my dad mentioned that he heard they were making a sequel to turning red (i looked it up and apparently it was just a rumor) and my brother said he didn't like turning red and i was like why and he was like "bc they never told her about the panda curse and blah blah blah something about the pacing of the movie that wasn't even how it happened and didn't make sense as an argument" and i was sitting there like "BRUH IT'S A METAPHOR FOR HOW PEOPLE WITH UTERUSES ARE MADE TO FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT THEIR PERIODS AND ALSO WTF ARE U TALKING ABOUT" and then my dad was like "i actually really liked it" which kinda surprised me but like go off king

so anyway back to ratatouille so uh it's one of my favorite disney movies now. i saw john lasseter and brad bird in the credits and i was like ofc it was them lol

bc like. it's so disney but it's also so unique and poetic and my mom texted me during like the last 5 minutes during ego's final review and i was just. frozen. could barely peel my eyes away for more than 2 seconds to respond. i already liked the movie, the suspense was perfect and it wasn't too suspensey in an annoying way because it was like they were always solving suspense while new suspense was being introduced. like it was more of an underlying thing that you can still enjoy the movie while it happens but you still kinda wonder what's gonna happen with some stuff

like. ego's review was really the moment where it all came together. it was like time stopped and all the themes of the movie came together in a cohesive whole like the cheese and the strawberry or whatever and it was just friggin pristine

come oN MAN I JUST WANNA MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHERE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE TIME STOPS AND I WANNA SEE IT COME TOGETHER I WOULD LITERALLY GIVE UP BEING ABLE TO WATCH ANYTHING SPOILER-FREE EVER AGAIN IF IT MEANT I COULD HEAR EVERY STROKE OF THE PEN ON THE STORYBOARD AND ok i'll be normal for now bc like the feelings are accurate but i cannot build comprehensible sentences anymore i need sleep holy sh

#ursa.txt #ursa.talkwriting #ratatouille #disney #pixar #john lasseter #brad bird