#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?

[ivysangel]

Okay but if partition is dicks song then DANCE FOR YOU is JASONS

plz give me ur address so i can send you an engagement ring, i've already bought it for you. you are so real you are so fucking real for this one, like dare i say...more real than partition (wrote this before i knew you guys weren’t the same omg just a lil jokey joke) ??? *gasps* ???? no, but when beyoncé said, 'tonight i'm gonna put my body on your body,' i felt that bc if EYE was the significant other of jason todd, someone would have to pry me off of him like a pitbull with someone's leg in their mouth. can't believe 'dance for you' is about jay-z, like...anyway!! (smut under the cut)

insecure jason has my heart, not bc i particularly enjoy the prospect of people being insecure but because it just makes so much sense, and it's such a stark contrast to how he appears as the red hood so it's kinda just like...like idk it does smth to me. need to jump his bones so fucking bad.

but the idea that sometimes his insecurities get the best of him when it comes to you, the notion that in every other aspect of his life he can put them aside to get shit done EXCEPT when it comes to you because he gets in his own head about your relationship. he doesn't think he's good enough for you, he thinks you deserve better, thinks one day he's gonna fuck up so bad you just won't come back to him. and that just simply isn't true. 

'loving you is really all that's on my mind/and i can't help but think about it day and night' it's so beyond absurd that he feels insecure in your relationship because he literally takes up 98% of your brain capacity. he doesn't even realize how absolutely down horrendous you are for him and it kills you !!!! how can this kind, loving, sexy, sometimes murderous man not realize how you can't live without him ?? so you do the only thing you can do, you fuck him.

'i just wanna show you how much i appreciate you, yes/wanna show you how much i'm dedicated to you, yes' he's so fucking annoying (loving) the way he questions why you're dressed up in red lingerie on a random day in the middle of the week, but it's like ?? if he's not gonna believe you when you say you love him, then ig you're just gonna have to fuck knock some sense into him. 'tonight it's goin down,' and down it literally goes, like you go down on him and give him some of greatest head of his life and your panties go down when you fuck him into understanding how much he means to you.

'wanna make that body rock/sit back and watch' you've got him under you, the minimal amount of clothing you were wearing is currently occupying the floor of your bedroom, and you're straddling him, leaving kisses up and down his body, kissing each scar, and whispering "i love you's" in between each one as he watches from lidded eyes, hands gripping and grabbing at anything he could reach. 'show you, show you, show you, 'til you through with me' words sometimes just weren't enough for jason. people had said things to him so many times and made so many promises just to break them. actions don't always speak louder than words, but in his case, they surely did.

'this is beyond sex/i'm high on you/if it's real then you know how i feel' you're riding him, rolling your hips into him as you draw out groan after groan. yes, you're quite literally having sex. but it's just more than that this time; it's a declaration of love, his confirmation that there is nobody except him for you. there will never be anybody but him.

'in my mind, all i can think about is a frame for our future/and the pictures of the past/and a chance to make this love last.' letting jason get lost in his own head is the last thing you'd ever want to happen, it hurts you so bad that he can't see himself the way you see him. when the sex is over, and you're both sweaty and out of breath, you caress his chest and whisper sweet nothings, letting him know that everything you'd said when he was balls deep in you was completely true, that you love all of him and you'd do anything to make sure he knew that.

(this one was not as good as partition, but my points still stand !!! partition + dance for you anons, you guys are so real u don't even know. ughhhhh i just love jason. need to fuck him so bad)

#★ dirty laundry ★ #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd smut #jason todd lover

[starrycollesta]

I love your fics so much!! Can you write smth with sub Eddie where you guys are just friends and you catch him touching himself moaning your name and he gets super embarrassed like on the verge of tears so you take care of him and make him feel better??

FOR YOU !

━━━━ PARING ! eddie munson x dom!reader

━━━━ WORDS ! 1,234

━━━━ SYNOPSIS ! you walk in on eddie masturbating and you decide to help him out.

━━━━ INCLUDES ! masturbating, oral sex (m receiving), smut, slight dom!reader, sub!eddie, fluff galore.

sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes | cross posted on AO3 | MASTERLIST | REQUEST ME !

gif and photos are not mine.

THANKS FOR THE 100+ FOLLOWERS !

You were extremely agitated with your mom's constant whining about your grades, so you snuck away to Eddie's trailer like you usually had a habit of doing. You liked going to Eddie’s place to get away.

You knocked once on his door.

No answer.

Eddie usually was quick to answer the door with his signature lopsided grin but this time he didn't answer. His van was clearly in the driveway so that meant he was here.

Maybe he was busy with something? Or maybe he didn't want company...

You knocked on the door again. You waited at the door in silence, worried thoughts racing through your mind.

Still, no answer.

Sighing, you opened the door and walked in. You took in the aroma of an extremely poignant scent of weed. You looked around for Eddie, but he wasn’t in the living room.

Maybe he was in his bedroom?

You walked up to his bedroom but stopped abruptly at his door staring wide eyed.

Eddie was moaning your name.

The door was cracked slightly so you could peak in his room. He laid on his bed, fully clothed, but his cock was out of his jeans, and he was pumping it aggressively. His eyes were shut, and his lips were parted while he threw his head back and moaned your name again.

You bit your lip and clamped your thighs together as you watched the scene before you.

It was so horrible to peak at your best friend masturbating, but you couldn't help it. He looked so hot like this, plus he was moaning your name.

Suddenly Eddie opened his eyes and made direct contact with you.

Just your fucking luck.

"Shit!" Eddie yelled and quickly covered himself with his hands.

Once you heard a ‘zip’, you reluctantly opened up the door and revealed yourself. Eddie stared wide eyed in fear as he looked at you then quickly turned away.

Neither of you said anything for some time. This is extremely embarrassing for the both of you.

"H-how much did you see." Eddie didn't make eye contact with you when he spoke. He sat on the side of the bed with his head down. You couldn't make out his face because his mop of hair was covering him.

You felt so bad for him. He shouldn't feel ashamed of what he was doing. You didn't mean to embarrass him like this.

"I...seen enough, Eddie. You shouldn't feel ashamed, or guilty. It was wrong of me to peep like such a creep." you cautiously walked over to him until you stood in front of him. You got on your knees so you could see his face. He looked up at you through his hair, tears in his eyes. You reached your hand to caress his cheek and whip away the forming tears.

"You're not a creep. It's me who's the creep here. I was...moaning your name and t-touching myself. It was wrong of me. Fuck, I'm sorry. I get if you never want to speak or even look at me again..."

You shook your head as Eddie rambled on and on about how sorry he was. You couldn't take him speaking like you hated him any longer.

"Eddie, stop." you sighed, frustrated. Eddie immediately clamps his mouth shut, "Don't ever speak like I'll even be capable of hating you. Eddie, you've been my best friend since fifth grade. You’re like the only real friend I've got so why would I just throw it all away because of something like this?"

Eddie put his head back down and you were quick to lift it back up. You stared into his beautiful brown eyes and smiled widely at him, to which he gave a small smile back.

"I have something to tell you, something you probably already figured out." the smile was gone from his face and was replaced by a nervous expression.

"Hey, no need to be nervous. Remember that I'll never hate you. I promise." you tried to reassure him.

He took a deep breath before nodding and continuing, "I've had a crush on you for a while now, but I never told you because I didn't want our friendship to be ruined. I really fucking like you a lot."

You were speechless, to say the least. You never expected him to say this. You almost couldn't believe it.

Eddie Munson, your friend for years, likes you.

Your heart pounded wildly in your chest.

"I feel the same way, Eddie."

Eddie's eyes went wide in disbelief. His mouth opened and closed as if he was debating on what to say.

"Wait, really?"

You nodded and giggled, "Yes, Eddie, I really do."

You leaned up to kiss him softly and he responded to the kiss almost instantly. Your lips meshed well with his. His tongue brushed up against your lips, asking for permission to which you granted. You slowly stood up and straddled his lap with your arms around his neck. His yelped softly into the kiss as you grinded yourself onto him.

"Fuck..." Eddie slowly pulled away from the kiss to breathe. You leaned your forehead against his and kissed the side of his mouth.

"Can I suck you off?" you whispered in his ear, resulting in Eddie's breath to hitch.

"Are you sure? you don't have to just because I-"

"Trust me Eddie. I want to do this." you smiled at him before giving him a peck on the lips. You got off his lap and returned to your knees in front of him.

Eddie stared down at you, attention never wavering. You stared back up at him with a smirk on your lips as your hand rubbed his cock through his jeans.

He bit his lip to stop from moaning out, but a few whimpers escaped. You slowly tugged down his jeans and checkered boxers to feel him. His dick felt so heavy in your hand. Pre-cum spilled from his bright red tip.

"Oh god..." Eddie whimpered out before bucking up into your hand.

You leaned closer to him and gave his cock a few small licks. Eddie let out a loud moan and bucked up into your mouth for more pleasure.

You forced yourself not to gag when you took him fully into your mouth. He filled your mouth up so perfectly. He was the perfect size for you.

You started to move your head up and down on his cock. You continued to look up at him as you gave him pleasure. His lips were parted, and his hands gripped the sheets on either side of him. You bobbed your head up and down more quickly.

"Ah, ah, shit, I think I'm gonna cum, oh fuck~" Eddie's head lolled on his shoulders and his hips continued to thrust up into your mouth. You felt Eddie convulsing in your mouth. You gave a few strong sucks until he let out a low groan and spilled his hot sperm into your mouth.

You quickly swallowed all his spurts of cum and moved away from his cock with a light 'pop'. Eddie flopped himself on the bed, chest heaving. You got off your aching knees and sat on the bed beside him.

"Sorry you didn't get to cum." Eddie spoke apologetically.

You waved off his apology with a smile.

"It's fine. I wanted to make you feel good. You can make me cum next time."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #dom!reader #sub eddie munson #sub!eddie munson #dom reader #sub character #sub!character

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/733168840193753088/on-one-hand-jk-is-heavily-implying-that-he-sees

Good God how can someone have such a negative outlook?? How can you see that picture and feel anything but pure adoration on both of their faces and esp jk's. Of course he is basking in compliments and love coz it was his day. But how did you decipher that from those pics? He is literally squished in the back in the first two. Even in the others he isn't taking the spotlight. And the one strip with tae is just pure love. Just look at jk's face. He looks like he just got home from a long and exhausting day. That expression is home. Not arrogance or selfishness or whatever the hell y'all think.

As for suchwita, if you watched that episode and felt any negative emotion, I think it's time you quit shipping them coz you seem to be someone reliant on grand gestures. But you aren't happy with jk talking about the skiing trip either. Why don't you just send him a script or smth? Just send him an instruction manual on how to talk about taehyung in public for max relationship revelations.

That suchwita episode is so fckng adorable. Just look at the subtleties ffs. They aren't going to start singing ballads or making out in front of the cams 🙄.

Lastly, give tae some credit. He is a grown man. He knows good from bad. He has a family and many close friends who all support jk. So maybe you and I should shut our mouths before criticising one of them coz if the people close to them don't think along the same lines as you, then you must not be right.

There's so much more I want to say but I don't think anyone wants an essay and I am pretty sure I've not changed your mind.

Hi anon!

The footage isn’t the problem, the problem is anon’s preconceived ideas about Jk not caring enough about Tae. Anon clearly sees Jk as the bad guy, and Tae as a lovesick victim. Nothing (!) annoys me more than people totally misunderstanding their characters. For all the years we have seen both Tae and Jk, what in the world makes anyone think Jk is toxic like that, and Tae is unable to stand up for himself. Like seriously (I’m in drama-mode right now, excuse me 😅). If anon thinks partners have to always be together, always have to show their love on socials, always have to keep in mind what outsiders might think, can never joke about each other because someone might misunderstand… good luck to them!

The real nice thing about having a trusting relationship is that you can be informal, you can tell the other you need space, you can bicker, you can go out with friends alone. If anything Jk and Tae’s interaction keep showing closeness.

Tae at Suchwita was so nice, so supportive and letting Jk shine. Yoongi’s reaction to them together was that of understanding and knowing. Jk just loves Tae, he might’ve joked.. but his smile and laughter just speak of love. I know jkkrs have trouble with understanding banter, but this anon clearly does to. Seriously, you really have to want to think badly of Jk to have the kind of reaction that anon has.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

[ambermation]

Hii, hun!

Can you do one where the reader’s basically like Harry’s stepmom or smth like that and then Norman just watches the two of them bonding 🥺

Hi! this sounds so adorable :D I think maybe we could all use some stepmom content, don't you?

You’re my Son, Too (Platonic Harry Osborn x Stepmom!Reader)

A/n from the future: I'm so sorry this took so long! I've been stuck writing this for months because I couldn't get it the way I wanted it to be. I felt bad for how long it was taking, so I tried just writing it in a simple way. I hope you'll still like this!

My relationship to my stepson was… fairly neutral, to be honest. It’s not like I didn’t want to form a relationship with him, honestly, I do! It’s just a little weird between us. I’m nice to him and Harry is nice to me. But I could feel that he was mostly being coldly polite to me. Every time we talk he always gives vague, generic, or incredibly simplistic responses. And our conversations were always as short as they possibly could be. 

But I want to change things. He’s a good son who wants his father to be happy, which I respect. We’re family. I’m hoping we can become closer than this business-like relationship we currently have. I’m not sure how to start. We might have the same interests? Though it was hard to tell if we did. 

There had to be something I could try talking about with him. Maybe video games? I know that he and his friend Peter often play their games when they hang out. I like playing them too. I’m not sure what games they play however. We could be playing completely different games. For a while I debated whether or not I should just ask Harry what games he enjoys or if I should look in his room. I reach the conclusion that I should just ask him when I get the chance. Invading his personal space also wouldn’t really improve our relationship either. So that’s what I set out to do. Next time I see Harry I'll ask him. 

That shouldn’t be too hard, now, right?

—-

It certainly was a hard thing to do. I barely saw Harry anyways, when I wasn’t trying to talk to him, since he was always either hanging out with friends, out at his classes, or just kind of avoiding staying at home for long. It certainly felt like he was doing that just to avoid me, but I knew it was him avoiding Norman and me. They don’t have the closest relationship either, though Norman is trying, especially with my encouragement. Their relationship is certainly better than ours, but that’s like saying that a pile of dirt is better than a pile of mud. 

“It shouldn’t be that hard to talk to him. Just talk to him like I would with any of my friends,” I think to myself as I grab a cup of water. As I turn around I collide with something solid, spilling my water all over the place. I look up and see none other than Harry himself. He looks rather annoyed, but more so at the fact water was spilt all over his shirt rather than at me. Although I think he might be a bit annoyed with me as well. 

“And there goes my new shirt.” He says, voice laced with disappointment as he inspects the material. 

“I’m so sorry, Harry! I didn’t see you and I didn’t think you’d be home right now.” That was true. I thought he had class right now. “Well I’m here. Right now, with water all over me.” He’s about to push past me when I stop him, paper towels in hand. 

“Can you really blame me for not knowing? You never really talk to me. I can’t really know your schedule if you don’t share it with me.” I say as I look for the nearest real towel to use. I needed to make this conversation become positive. Fast. Before he leaves. “I tell my father my schedule. Doesn’t he tell you?” He asks. He throws away the soaked paper towels. He turns and looks at me. His expression is still annoyed, yet there’s a mix of curiosity there. I shake my head. 

“No, not really,” I lean against the counter, “He usually just tells me what the two of you do, and how he’s glad you seem to be doing well,”

Harry sighs. I guess he really thought his dad told me. I don’t think even Norman fully remembers Harry’s schedule. “Of course he didn’t. Go figure,” he huffs. He turns his attention to the fridge, looking inside to find something. Okay, gotta steer this conversation now.

“But I’d love to know your schedule, Harry. Just tell me what it is and I'll remember.” I’ll certainly do my best to remember it, at least. I’m inevitably gonna forget a few things. His eyes cast over to me briefly, considering my words, before looking back into the fridge. “I mean it. I can’t say that I’ll always remember your schedule exactly, but I’ll try to remember most of it, if you’ll share it with me.” I smile reassuringly at him. He finally grabs a soda from the fridge. He turns to me. For a moment he stares before returning my smile. A genuine smile. I notice that his shirt is still soaked from my water. “I’m really sorry about the water. I’ll be more careful next time.”

Harry dismisses that with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t paying attention either,” he gives me another smile. “I, uh, guess I’ll try telling you and dad what I’m up to, alright?” He starts heading toward the exit. 

“Wait!” I say, reaching out. He stops and looks at me, an eyebrow raised. “I was thinking that we could try spending some time together, if you’re not busy?” He contemplates his answer for a moment. 

“I mean, I’m not doing anything right now. I was just watching TV. You could join me if you want?”

“I was actually wondering if we could play some video games together.”

“Sure. I’ve got a few you might like.”

Happy I managed to get on better terms with Harry, I eagerly followed him to his room. We head inside the messy room. At least it was mostly clothes, papers, and books thrown about the place instead of trash. The mess bothers me a little, but I ignore it. It’s not a big deal anyways. I sit down on the bed as Harry sets up his Playstation 2. 

“What game do you want to play?” He shows me the games he has. I haven’t played any of them, so I let Harry pick. “Whichever one you like the best, Harry.” He smiles before picking one of the games. “Have you ever played this one before?” I shake my head. I grab the other controller as Harry joins me on the bed. His grin turns mischievous.

“Oh no. I don’t like that look,” he laughs in response.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N), it doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Sure. And I’m the Queen of England.”

—----

(Third Person POV)

A few hours later, after a long day at work, Norman returns home. He sighed; today was a stressful day. And tomorrow was sure to be just as, if not more, stressful. All he wanted to do was just take a nice hot bath, change into his silk robes, and collapse into bed, his wife in his arms. 

He smiled as he thought of his wife. She always brightened his mood no matter how bad she was feeling. Norman walked out of the elevator and into his penthouse, wondering where Y/N could be. He walked by the study she likes to work in, but he saw there was nobody inside. He didn’t hear anything in the kitchen either. He figured he’d see his wife in their shared bedroom instead. As he walked down the hallway he heard excited yelling coming from his son’s room. Curious, Norman pushes the door open wider to find Y/N and Harry playing on the latter’s console.

The two kept shouting as they played, clearly trying to beat the other at whatever game they were playing. The sight made Norman smile. While his relationship with his son has been improving significantly, the relationship between Y/N and Harry seemed to be stuck at neutrality. This was a step in the right direction. The two most important people in Norman’s life bonding. He couldn’t help the elated grin across his countenance. It dropped for a moment when the two shouted once more.

“Yes!”

“No!”

Harry, in his victory, threw his hands up in the air. Meanwhile, Y/N crossed his arms and pouted for a moment before laughing. “You picked that game because you knew you’d win, didn’t you Harry?” She asks in a teasing voice. Harry laughs. “Maybe. Or maybe you’re just really bad,” he turns to give her a smirk when he sees his father in the doorway. His eyes widened in surprise briefly before smiling. 

“Hey, dad.” Y/N turns to face her husband. She gives a small wave. “How long were you standing there?” Harry asks. 

Norman gives them a smile. “Enough to see your victory, Harry. Congrats!” Y/N shakes her head. “No I’m pretty sure he cheated, so technically I won,” she playfully nudges the college student. 

“Is it really cheating if you’re playing against a bad player?” 

“Aw c’mon, I wasn’t that bad!” She pouts once more. 

Harry chuckles. “The score begs to differ,” he gestures to the TV. And sure enough, the trio could see that Player 1 was leagues ahead of Player 2. The completely different scores made Norman laugh. Blushing, Y/N grabbed Harry’s controller and handed it back to him. 

“Then how about a rematch?” 

“You’re on!”

Y/N turns to Norman as Harry sets the game up. “Honey, do you want to be the referee? You know, to make sure somebody,” she points at Harry, “doesn’t cheat?” Harry rolls his eyes at his stepmom, but the smile on his face gives away how he truly feels. Norman steps into the room and joins the two on his son’s bed. 

“Of course, love.”

#norman osborn x reader #harry osborn & reader #harry osborn #norman osborn #raimi trilogy #x reader #marvel #spider-man #spiderman raimi #spider man trilogy #platonic!harry osborn x reader #stepmom!reader #you're my son too

[cheemken]

Hey Knight you want to talk about The Owl House AU? Maybe about the Unova kids or the Coven Heads? Or whoever you want to?

Also quick question, are wild witches still seen the same way as canon? Because Belos’ whole thing was wild magic while Diantha’s deal is humans

The Unova kids brainrot real today tho perfect timing cnmxnx hahaha

Like it'd be cool if N was the one similar to Amity tho, like he had his own friend group now, and he was once friends w Hilbert and Hilda, but the three grew apart when Ghetsis didn't want N to hang out w the twins, as they were like Willow, late bloomers, or rather they didn't know what kinda magic they specialized in. Either way, N grew distant, and his only friends were Concordia and Anthea. Ofc, those two weren't like Hilbert and Hilda, N always wanted to hang out w them again, but seeing them w Cheren and Bianca kinda broke him, and maybe he believed that their friendship couldn't be salvaged

And like cbdmdb imagine tho since in my au, N's good w illusions and beast keeping, he'd often make illusions of Hilbert and Hilda to keep him company as they play w the beasts and such, and for N that was enough. Imagine Iris seeing that tho, like after classes maybe, as she's about to go home back to Drayden, she saw N in the forest, creating illusions of Hilbert and Hilda, then he's there talking about his day while petting his fox Palisman, Zorua. Iris felt bad ofc, N just wanted his friends back, wanted to have some sort of connection outside his illusions maybe, so she made herself known to him

"what are you doing here?" He asked, tho his voice was laced with panic, getting rid of the illusions, Zorua was on his shoulders, ready to pounce.

Iris raised her arms, almost telling him she wasn't there to fight, "nothing, I just saw you and.. well, thought you wanted company."

Altho he tried to sound menacing, he really failed, he scoffed, "I don't need the company of a human. The Empress had said humans like you are dangerous."

"do you see me as a threat?"

"..you're friends with them."

"aren't you friends with them too?"

He sighed, looking down, "not anymore.."

And ofc, Iris realized that he saw her as a threat bc she was friends w the twins and even their new friends, not in a way where he believes she could actually kill him. He saw how Iris was like w the beasts of the isles, she was gentle and patient, smth he never thought any human could be, so she's not a danger, ofc she's not. Even the beasts tell him she was a kind person. But.. she was everything N wanted to be. Free from Ghetsis, and could be with his friends again.

Iris knew they weren't that close yet for her to really comfort him, she doesn't know much abt N, only enough from the stories the twins tell her, and before she left, she turns to him, giving him a soft smile, "yknow.. they missed you. If you want, you can join us tomorrow at the library, I'm sure they'd wanna see you again." And finally she left

It took a lot of prompting from Zorua, but N decided, he'll sneak out of the mansion and head to the library tomorrow, he really wanted to see his friends again

As for the wild witches,, yknow I've been thinking abt that cause like, yeah I think Diantha would try to like,, be like Belos in a way where she doesn't want others to have that same power she has, and if anything, if they truly want to, then they should be devoted to her enough and join the Empress' Coven, sealing their fate and staying loyal to her. Tho, even w that, some are still bound to the sigils of the first covens they joined, bound forever in those covens. Perhaps it's Diantha lying yknow, to show them this false hope that once they join the Empress' Coven, they won't be bound by any of the other covens, and honestly it's just Diantha's sick and twisted game just to see people kneel before her and worship her as a god

Idk you could even consider Dia a wild witch, the only one who's capable of doing a lot of different types of magic, even knowing how to harness the power of the glyphs, and the only other one who could do that was Iris, and she hated how a human could do so much magic and even discovered the glyphs before she discovered Drasna's journal, she hated it so so much, she wanted to get rid of her and the rest of the humans as soon as she can, terrified that if Iris could do such feats, then maybe every other human could too. Then again, Drasna was like that, and Lysandre was too... She believes every other human was like Lysandre, and Titan be her witness, she will make sure every human on the other side of the portal will perish by her hands.

#dia is so unhinged (the biggest villain dia simp) #like fjmdndkd #the villain dia stuff still haunts me i really love the thought of her being so so unhinged hahaha #but anyways unova kids reunion going fucking insane cnmdndm #toh au #an ask and an answer #jerseyk112

[remishealing]

I wasn't in a normal relationship, I was in a trauma bond.

I'm sure you know what a trauma bond is, and when I was 16 I met someone, I thought things were good and real and all that shit but 2 months later it started going down and I didn't know what was going on. For 2 years straight I was just getting hurt and going back there, I thought I loved him, I thought if I gave more time and effort and everything then maybe things will change, but things never changed. During those 2 years I realized I really had the urge to drop it off but always couldn't and it was weird because why won't someone be able to drop something that's already hurt them like 5-6 times already? And the answer is because I was trauma bonded to him, I thought I couldn't let him go I thought I'd never be able to move on and I thought I was gonna be that way forever to the point where I even got myself used to the pain.

These 2 years passed and I went into college and met someone else, at the time I was single, the other new guy was single, he was really fucking nice that I spent my days hoping he'd actually love me because he'd never been in love before, but I was still trauma bonded, I was still figuring out an escape, because now I found potential, now I knew I could possibly fall for someone else and I could tell I was actually falling already.

2 more years later and it turned out the new guy liked me too and it was the best thing I've had in my life so far.

But I couldn't tell him stuff.. I couldn't tell him I used to be trauma bonded I couldn't tell him the other thing was never love, he only saw glimpses of it and thought it was a normal on and off thing but it wasn't, I was never going back because it was never just a relationship it was a whole trauma bond and I was finally out, he was fixing smth he never broke and that smth was me, I always felt like I had to give more just to deserve his love because I thought he was such a great thing and I'd talk about him all the time, I'd tell people how great he is and how scared I am that maybe I don't deserve to be loved this way.. but slowly I started thinking I deserve love, he deserves love too, we were happy and in love but we made some mistakes.

1. Was letting our friends into our relationship.

2. Was me hiding something.

I only hid 1 thing during the 7 month relationship we had, but it fucked things up.

Since I was 16, the only thing I really wanted to do was to face my trauma bond and break it, and the only way I could do it was through a call when I was 20 and I didn't know how or when to tell him and I didn't know how it can go. The only purpose of the call was to finally face and break it and I was able to do it, but then I told a friend about it and she actually got me wrong and he thinks I said I wanted my ex back when really I was so fucking happy I broke everything with that ex.

I tried telling him about it, started with telling him that I used to cut, that back then I did it because I deeply hated myself for so many reasons, but I realized he wasn't in a good mood to listen to me rant so I shut up about it because I didn't wanna make things even worse for him when he was already feeling bad about life in general, I didn't wanna add more things to his plate so I thought it could wait and only told him I used to self harm.

But the reason why I started self harm was my ex, his way of making me stay was telling me how bad I am, how not enough I am, how his ex was better in everything, how it would be better if he could go back to her, was cheating on me, saying other girls are better, giving me the hot and cold treatment, silent treatment, pushing me away, making me feel like I was always the problem, making me feel guilty for literally nothing, disappearing and ghosting me, putting me up then throwing me all the way down and fucking me up and fucking up my self esteem and confidence, and many more things. I thought I deserved the cuts, I thought I deserved the pain, mental and physical, I thought he had the right to do what he was doing.

So when I could finally break all that, and I did tell my boyfriend my ex thought of me as someone with no personality to the point where he was like "Oh now you're telling me to leave, now you have a personality?"

What you thought was me saying he "understood me" was me saying "maybe we used to get each other but no more." And we never really got each other and I know that, he just made me think he gave me a personality in the past, that's the only "part he knew of me".

What you thought was me saying I'll go back to him was me saying I don't know what will happen next but I don't imagine going back to him, I can never trust him again and I can't even think about it. I made it sound like a normal relationship because I don't wanna go around telling everyone how things really were.

And I never said I'll talk to him again, I only said I was scared he may try to come back for closure and thankfully that didn't happen.

I just wanted to eliminate the anxiety of him showing up every few weeks because it was starting to fuck me up even more, I never loved him, I never wanted/want him back and I never will, he never got me, never knew who I was, never cared to know.

I just needed to face it, I needed to do it for the 16 year old me who lived in a 4 year extended lie and finally FINALLY pulled herself out of it.. I wanted to tell you about it all but I got scared and I thought you'd never wanna know the details of that so I never talked about it and I made it look like w normal toxic relationship..

I hope you'd just understand this.. I hope you'd just listen to me.. you're the reason why I wanted to face and end this, you're the reason why I finally felt loved and in love and could tell what actual love is.. I know I broke your trust when I hid it and I really wanna restore it.. I really hope you'd give me a chance at that.. I really had my reasons.. I really just needed to face something to get it done with because I was happy I could finally end it.. you're the only one who was actually starting to know and understand me, and I was fixing my shit just to be able to work things out between us and it was scary when I could feel you pulling away because I love you.. I love you with all my heart.. this call was an act of love for you because I wanted to end it and focus on you.

The "I get you more than him" was a line he said, I told him it wasn't true, I said my boyfriend got me, I said we'd been together for 6 months and I'm happy and I won't break us so he should stay the fuck away from me and it worked, he actually cried about it, that's how much I didn't "discuss" anything with him but only kept saying no. Then I didn't feel bad about him crying or whatever you thought happened in any way and I just ended it.. please listen to the whole thing from me.. please..

[disaster-j]

aaaa i love how even tho white has to keep up the act and be cold towards sean you can just see in his eyes how worried he was when sean was having a nightmare like you can hear it in his voice too gun portrayed it so well !! btw do you think white is sometimes going overdoing the asshole act ? telling sean he would leave him to die was kindaaa 😬 i cannot imagine how confused sean must be with his feelings tho:( also i kinda feel bad for gram bcs white has NO IDEA about gramblack and now this dummy gon think gram and gene got smth going on...my poor meow meow gram...black please wake up!!! the whole eugene thing is a trainwreck too white just keept making the situation worse (under todd's influence too umm sus) like imagine pretending to be your twin brother and getting back together with his ex gf that he dumped not only putting you in an awkward situation but also giving her hope 😬 it looks like she's maybe gonna catch on soon tho ? I HOPE SO andddd yok is just so gay and in love i just know he's planning a danyok wedding in his mind i got no words for this idiot (,,kinda long msg sorry)

Yesss I love the contrast between White's harsh act and his genuine concern for Sean. Like I've said it before but it bears reiterating- Sean and White are just naturally drawn to each other, it's just how they are. So it makes sense that even though White has been led to distrust Sean and suspect him of hurting Black and hence has to be harsh to him, it's clear he doesn't really want to. Sean is not the type of person White can ignore or hate. The more White gets to know Sean the more noble Sean seems. Even when he disagrees with their methods, White can no longer pretend he hates them for what they're doing. Because all of this matters, because it is helping people. I think at this point the only reason White is continuing to distrust the gang is bc of Todd leading him astray. If it weren't for White's blind faith in Todd he'd have realised the gang couldn't possibly be responsible by now. I really love how Gun portrays White's internal dilemma so clearly without really voicing it at all. It's just like P'Nuchie said, for this show the acting is all about the eyes.

Oooh. No. I don't think he's overdoing it at all, quite the opposite actually. I felt ep4 was when he finally STARTED nailing Black's intensity. Is it really fucking cruel to say he would abandon Sean in real life? Hell yeah. But that's exactly what Black would say. Now don't get me wrong, for all his rage and murderous tendencies I don't believe Black would just let one of his friends- or frenemies in Sean's case -die like that. But I know for a fact he would say it. The thing about Black is that he's a very complex individual. He has all this trauma and anger and unlike Sean who doesn't let his anger get in the way of his human relationships, Black does. Black is someone who is very intense about everything, when he truly loves and cares for someone he would go to insane extremes for them. If he let himself actually care about everyone around him it would consume him. So he shuts most people out. It also doesn't help how similar Sean and Black are, and that similarity is what creates so much friction between them. Both too angry, too petty, too stubborn to really find a way to get along peacefully.

I always feel so sad for Gram too bc he's the one person who just genuinely loves and cares for Black, without any negative emotions tainting their relationship. It really sucks that he can't be there for Black when he's so hurt. Like it's bad enough already that he doesn't know the man he loves is fighting to stay alive but now he's going to be accused of stealing said guy's girl too like that's so undeserved. Gram is a Good Boi! He would never! Even if Gram wasn't so clearly in love with Black he's just not the kind of person who can betray someone like that. It's honestly so sad that anyone would actually believe GRAM could do something like that. Pls ik he looks like a hunk but he's really the baby of the gang 😭

As for Eugene, I don't think she's gonna catch on but I do think she's gonna be hurt by whatever goes down next. And I don't like it. If this was Yujin like the book I wouldn't care but Eugene in the show is clearly a good person who doesn't deserve to be caught up in this mess. I think Black was right to break things off with her right before Shit Went Down bc it separated her from the mess he'd gotten into. Now White has unwittingly dragged her back in and I don't see it ending well.

Yok! Is so smitten! It's so funny I love it. He totally is planning the wedding in his head, that idiot. I can't wait to see him and Dan finally have a proper meeting next week it's gonna be great! Also can't wait to finally get confirmation of whether Dan is fully hearing or not bc it's been driving me insane how we haven't seen him actively register or respond to auditory stimuli for FOUR WHOLE EPISODES!?! That can't not be deliberate right!?!?

(Dw about long messages I don't mind at all! And wow this turned into a long post huh...)

#not me the series #not me #not me ask #answered ask #anon ask #not me analysis #seanwhite #gramblack #danyok #not me eugene

[nothorses]

hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know.  i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

#long post #advice #Anon #Ask

[thefactsofthematter]

📰hi big sis kath, I want your opinion on this. So obviously the breakup happened almost 3 months ago and then almost immediately after quarantine happened and ever since then I feel like my mental health has absolutely plummeted. I've never really felt this hopeless and lost before, and I just kind of feel really empty all the time. And some days are easier than others but overall my days are just almost meaningless in a a way. (Cont.)

📰 now I'm sure this is bc of the breakup (first real relationship, first person I've ever loved, first kiss, first time having sex, breakup came at a really bad time, etc etc) but it has almost been 3 months, I talk to him every day at least a little bit, and I feel like I should be getting over it, but I'm just. Not. I havent gone more than 2 days without crying, which is insane even for me. I guess I just dont know if I should be genuinely worried about my mental health or if this is (cont.)

📰 at least somewhat normal. Idk, Ig i just wanna hear your thoughts on it. It's not really smth I feel comfortable talking to my parents about and I hate bothering my friends with it so here I am asking you

-

ok so i’ll admit this isn’t my area of expertise, bc i always chicken out before actually getting into relationships so i don’t have much experience with breakups, but honestly i think given the weird circumstances of the world right now, it’s normal to not be handling emotions as well as maybe you normally would!

first and foremost, i 100% think you should look into working with a therapist, if you really feel like your mental health is suffering. they’ll probably be able to give you the best advice/help! i’m definitely not qualified but here’s my thoughts on the boy situation anyways:

you probably need to decide if you actually want to stay involved with him or not. talking to him every day is probably why you’re not getting over him, so you need to either commit to being done with the relationship and cut off contact for a little while, or commit to trying to get back together and talking about why you broke up. put yourself first and think about what you want from this— consider what wasn’t working in the relationship, if you’re willing to go back and try to fix it, and what would make you happiest in the long-term. talking to him every day means he’s always in the back of your mind, which is probably why you’re finding it so hard to let go of your feelings? if you’re actually done with the relationship, take some time to work on yourself and don’t be in constant contact with him— if he’s a good friend, he’ll understand.

as time goes on, hopefully taking some time to be your own best friend will make you feel less lonely! i recommend doing all the self-care things you can to make yourself feel happy and loved in your own company— boys can wait, take care of yourself 🥰

#have a hot girl summer!! personally im gonna go buy some fake nails and give myself a manicure #📰 anon #big sister advice

[chillviaplath]

(1/4)Hi. You're the first person I followed, so I value your opinion a lot (I've been following you for like 8 months). This is kind of weird to say, so if you feel uncomfortable or smth, you don't need to answer this but I just need to get this off my chest. I feel like something is wrong with me. Like people my age are all dating or having crushes and all that and I'm kind of like, yeah, that person is attractive and I wouldn't mind holding their hand or kissing them or hugging them but at the

(2/4) same time I don't want to? I don't think I had a real crush on someone either. I never felt butterflies in my stomach or been nervous to talk to the people I find attractive (I mean, I am shy, so I'm nervous to talk to everyone, so it's not unusual). I think I've liked someone (I thought about them a lot, which people say means you like them) but I'm not sure you can call it a crush since I think about a lot of things all the time. Also, people say that you just know when you have a crush,(3/4)I don't know, Karen, and you're not helping me at all! Another thing that doesn't help my case at all is that I don't really know if liking someone feels like they describe in books or if it's a complete opposite, since no one in my family or any of my friends talk about it and I'm too awkward to ask. So, I don't know if I'm missing out on something exciting or if people are overhyping on something completely insignificant. I know that you're not in a relationship right now, so you will(4/4) give me an unbiased (did I spell that correctly?) opinion. Is there something wrong with me for not having a crush and not wanting to be in a relationship right now (like, I wouldn't mind to be in one in the future, but I wouldn't mind a lot of things so there's that)? Sorry, I'm all over the place - English is not my native language and I'm bad at expressing myself (in my mothertoungue too). I feel like I didn't make any sense, so please excuse any mistakes I made.- - -Okay so to start off, thank you so much for following me for so long and for trusting me with this. There's nothing wrong with you. I've only ever had a handful of crushes, celebs included, and I've never been in a relationship. And tbh at the moment, I don't want one. So you could be like that. Maybe you're just kind of picky, or just don't feel ready at the moment. Which is totally okay. There's tons of other stuff to focus on and having a crush or being in a relationship doesn't validate you in any way. There's plenty of time to start your love life, so don't feel pressured to follow what you think you should be doing at this point in your life or what you think everyone else is doing. There are also different types of crushes I think. They range from "that person is attractive and I continuously notice it" to "I think I'm in love" and I think whichever one you might feel or not feel for someone just depends, sometimes on the person or sometimes on how you're feeling in the subject, but there's no right or wrong way to feel something. Nothing in life necessarily feels the way it's described in books. It could be simple like the stuff I mentioned before, or it could possibly be a question of sexuality. Idk how you identify, but I know that I have a friend who never really had crushes on guys and thought she was just picky, but it turns out that she's just not into guys at all. There's also a spectrum of asexuality and aromantic that I'm not educated enough to speak on but that you could look into if you want. Not saying that you have to feel pressured to pick a label of any kind, but for some people figuring out where they fit in can be good. If it adds more stress, I would say don't worry about it too much. Again, there's nothing at all wrong with you. You can never have a crush the rest of your life, or you could find someone you like tomorrow. Either way there's nothing wrong with you. Take everything at your own pace. I know that it's easy to get frustrated with whatever that pace may be, but don't try to rush or force things that you might not be ready for. We have this perception of what "normal" is supposed to be, and we tend to freak out whenever we find ourselves deviating from that, but the truth is that their is no real normal that works for everyone. People aren't meant to fit into molds. You just have to find whatever works for you, and that can be your normal. I hope this helps even just a little bit, and if you need to talk more about it I'm here for you. xx