#i've fixed the issue now

[serpenttailedangel]

Remembered I had a Motofumi roommates AU I started and then never finished making up an actual plot for, and decided to give it a look-see 'cuzz I'm sure I could work it into a relatively low chapter count fluff ship fic if I put my mind to it.

Um... It starts waaaaay darker than I remembered. I accurately remembered that the first chapter was Naofumi deciding to move out and learning about a stupidly cheap apartment with a catch. I forgot about the prologue. I remembered Motoyasu's reason for moving apartments, I just forgot that there was a prologue actually showing what all went down.

#the rising of the shield hero #motofumi #past me was feeling edgy i see #but she failed #its way more dramatic if the info revealed at the end of the prologue doesn't come up until later #i've fixed the issue now

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[reploidbuddy]

Espio and Silver being an inch away from kissing and Vector or Charmy comes in the room and by turning around all startled Espio’s horn hits Silver’s face

He’s okay and and laughing it off but Espio's a lil horrified

#espio the chameleon #espilver #silver the hedgehog #Espio: omg I'm so sorry what have I done #Silver: [snorts] I'm okay! #((had that thought for a while and figured it was a good time to put it out bc I've been having issues being seen on tags and the dashboard #((hopefully it's fixed now and I can get back out there >:] #rambling

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Ok I heard Pac is doing the Fallout watchparty in a few days (?) and his VOD won't be saved either, so I'm frickin learning how to use OBS solely so I can record the entire thing WITH subtitles.

#i talk #qsmp talk #me trying and failing to record Cellbit's VOD: ah well at least the other archivists are doing it #me hearing Pac is doing a stream that won't save: I need a PHD on how to use OBS #being in this frickin community has taught me so much random tech stuff #the audio kinda isn't great but the tests are going really well #thank u for being my test subject and being live right now Cellbit #Edit: ok I THINK I've fixed the audio issue. I just hope it'll be ok day-of

[airanke]

#my poor dad had left the water on in the bathroom like 4 days before he and my mom left #and idek how much it's going to cost to fix #because I live in a condo now and idek wtf is happening #like i'm pretty sure my insurance is right #but every time someone mentions it i'm like 'is it correct? is it right? am i fucked?' #i'm hoping it's just a deductible #but it's so frustrating that the only time I've had issues here #Have all been caused by my parents and not by me #and to make it worse (for me LMAO) #is that the condo IS in my name #so i'm like #how does this reflect on me? #anyway i'm just crying into the void #i'd talk to ppl but it's really started to feel like i can't #idk why #i'll talk to my therapist about it #which was hard to do w/ my parents here because my mom #is super nosy and wants to know what i talk to him about and like #.................???????? i'm talking to a therapist for a reason???? #because i literally CANNOT talk to my parents about ANYTHING? #anyway lol byyeeeeee i'm gonna channel my distress into art

[h0ney-bee]

Another new oc wip

#can't color #won't color #for now #art has been making me frustrated #and all the criticism I receive but don't ask for #like I appreciate it if I ask??? #but just assume I don't want it #I don't THINK when I draw #I don't WANT to think when I draw #it's a thing that helps me wind down #if I draw you gift art #do not tell me to fix something unless you're going to pay #for changes #because uhhh #I don't have time to go back and change things #after it's complete #I've been dealing with irl things lately #so many diagnoses #so many suspected mental issues #nobody is helping me #I am so frustrated #so tired #I can't hold close relationships #and have been feeling apathy towards one of my current ones #I'm losing them and I feel nothing #I've lost my gpa recently and I have not mourned #i don't know what's wrong with me #RANTING #rant #edit later

[twilightarcade]

that's a weird dog

#wordstag #notwordswordstag #neptune wgen it's being normal about that eclipse thing #drawn at late oh clock it's like 2am right now . I think I'm gonna darken the eyes in the morning #or I won't. You never know with this guy. #anyhow I'm in bed now and I'm sooooo cozy. #ok so [mr beasts] this drawing was a 'let's use all the brushes in the sketching section & see what happens' thing #I think we're going 2 do another one w/ a smaller canvas size because I wanna . Try something. & this canvas was way too big #(<-I've been using the same canvas 4 like . Ages. And some IDIOT refuses 2 just move the sketches over( #literally whoever invented patterns on clothing should go explode . Do you have any clue #it's ok though . Fun exercise in whatever it's called. Perspective. If it was evil. ( I am failing the exercise) #ummmmmmm I thibk that's all. Spent way longer on this than I meant to. But the REAL criminal here was anzu because #That was supposed 2 be a warm up. Of sorts. I don't really do warm ups much if I'm going 2 be honest #trying 2 get into the habit but me drawing is more like . I'm going to draw 5 things in one sitting take it or leave it #ok guess who just . Fixed it. #I could point out like a million other things wrong but I'm not going to [smug cat picture] I'll leave that up to your imagination #ok umm how many tags is that . Not enough ? I want 2 do those whatever u wanna call those things again #yyou know. Peeks in my inbox. #ddude I might want to uh. I might want to crop this thing. #landscape is fun and all but seriously I can't #whatever. Officially a tomorrow me issue. Guess who's headed to sleep baby. #tomorrow neptune here I ended up cropping it after all.cod bleAmerica.ca. #anyhow I don't think I mentioned the . The Animal?

[bravevolunteer]

i talk about the potential for michael getting better way too much. Who's Gonna Make Him Worse

#he's already got plenty of flaws obviously but It Could Be So Much Worse! #look at him. he needs to be fixed AND he could be corrupted. he contains multitudes #i've touched on this a little bit in certain aus (tma. werewolf in a way but i stand by he's baby. potential killer apprentice stuff) #but i'm still dangling it ... c'mon he's got SO many issues you can take advantage of! #gnawing on him like a chew toy while i am imprisoned by assignments and illness #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[confinesofmy]

how you gonna vote your way out of something you didn't even vote your way into...

#we got.. gerrymandering. we got voter suppression. we got uneducated voters like all the lgbtq+ people i know voting straight ticket repub. #we got literal vote stealing. we got the flawed electoral college. we've got bad nominee choices! god do we have some bad nominees #we've got issues that cannot be fixed by political action regardless like.... #idk. i think it's fine to encourage people to vote. it's not that i disagree with it as a concept. it's not that i think it doesn't matter. #it just matters.. very.. little... it seems like. after many years personally.. of voting #lol.. #i have never been happy with a candidate i've voted for even those who have made it to office #the turnaround has never been particularly positive #neutral sure. a few times locally. #but often i feel an ideological shame later because their views don't align with mine in reality or in practice so it's like 🥴 eugh cringe #so whenever i see someone being aggressively pro-voting and ranking it so highly as a political action it's like well #are you naïve or are you fundamentally opposite to me #can we be ffr right now 🐱 #adam yaps

[eachuisge-cc]

I have finally fixed the satyr dicks properly and, I believe, solved the penis glitch mystery. apparently you have to clone Exactly the WW body part you are making, or something goes screwy. so far, as long as I've done that, nothing has broken. which means I can finally do more sizes and the fem frame version of this thing.

#I stg I thought I'd already checked that #but maybe there was an issue with overwriting or something because I've had blips like that with s4s before #anyway it's behaved consistently ever since and it's the only thing that has #so I have to conclude this was the culprit and the day is saved #I am about to unleash so many dicks #also I redid the UV on these so now I gotta paint a new texture but it will be less work in the long run #ALSO I'm finally gonna see if I can also fix the layering issues I was having with the overlays #+ make an additional overlay to blend the penis into the full coverage satyr fur #the reason I wasn't doing this before is I like to work off a vanilla base #both to avoid taking anyone else's work and because the default ww meshes are super high poly #however that's why the lord invented the append tool

[vault81]

ok i did a nuka-cola themed one but idk about this one..

#fallout #i did the one on the bottom first #I'm not really too sure about that one #the one on the top is the new one #something just seems off to me #maybe its the different orientations? #also maybe a different colour? #ok imma do a diff variation and colour #edit: I've gone and fixed the height issues on the top one and it looks a lil better #edit: although the spacings are still a bit wonk lemme fix those as well #edit: ok i've changed the spacings a bit and I think its good now

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

#.mei chats #soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain #i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent #i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them #and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself #but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back #trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do #Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms #or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!! #<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect #in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly. #they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid. #god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now #i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all #so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do #god this got long. sawry #.not f/o related

[bunnihearted]

.

#it went!!! idk lately my pain treshhold has been so low bc im in pain all the time #so i just dont wnna be in pain anymore... he said that now it'll still hurt for a few days T-T #but he wasnt exactly sure what it was but i had.. a cavity?? #im not rlly sure abt the english terms for all of this but the tooth is dying lol #but instead of immediately killing it nd getting a root fill he said that we should give the tooth a chance #so he fixed what he could fix #i hate dentist treatments bc of all the air nd water nd my anxiety i need to swallow constantly #but this time i actually told them abt it nd he was very helpful sksks #he even said 'ok now take a break nd swallow' so i didnt need to be so anxious #nd it was a relief bc he wasnt bad at all. he was actually rlly nice nd easy to talk to phewww #it cost abt $80 so i can manage to be without that until next week!!!! #so yeah it went much better than i had anticipated so im happy abt that #but yeah the problem still isnt 100% fixed yet so im still not relieved #he said i had a cavity in my other tooth as well but that we needed to check that at another time #im so frustrated bc i brush my teeth 2/day i use mouthwash i floss.... #and for the last 7 months i havent even had any sugar!!!!! like why did this still happen.. o.o #oh nd he also said that i probably clench my teeth nd yeah i do that a lot more than i've realized #your teeth arent supposed to be touching!! never!! only when u eat #my teeth.... are touching pretty much all day omg. bc im so tense nd anxious #he said that he couldnt be sure bc he didnt have enough info to go on but that could have contributed to this #well well... i did it nd went even if i didnt want to #hopefully my tooth will be better now. nd i have another appt in may to see what i could get done further #if financial aid for it gets approved tho it might not #but yeah.. god dental pain nd issues is my no. 1 fear bc im poor nd i cant afford it

[jorvikzelda]

honestly every single day I wonder how I didn't realise earlier how gay I am. like yeah yeah I know the answer is repression and severe deep rooted internalised lesbophobia but how the actual fuck did I manage to repress that hard? that's got to have been enough hard work that it like, qualifies for being put on my CV

#anyway I've been finding more and more peace in myself lately #tomorrow marks a month since I cut my hair (right now it's probably a month almost on the minute since I booked the appointment actually) #and it feels... kind of unbelievable how much has happened internally for me in that month #I'm getting a little bit emotional about it now actually #everything just. feels so much more right. so much more peaceful. so much more real. so much more OKAY #it's an unimaginable spot to be in #like even now #also just... my mental health has tremendously improved from this alone #obviously realising i'm a lesbian didn't fix all my issues magically #but it definitely helped with like self perception and stuff #know the post tone is joking etc but the repression was honestly taking such a fucking toll on me and I didn't even realise #at the same time I know I couldn't have come to terms with it sooner. I think this was the only way it was ever going to go #I haven't been ready before it's as simple as that #z talks #not horse game

[rotisseries]

I've started trying to draw digitally on my phone and it took a minute to get used to because it's not a pencil but this fucks

#I've always wanted to try drawing digital bc I don't draw much traditional and tbh I think it's cause of issues that digital fixes #like obviously one isn't easier than the other you know #but with traditional you gotta make sure you have your stuff and erasing too much fucks shit up and I like to hide it #but for the last 2 years I've been sharing my bedroom so that's not as easy and I like privacy #and it's all just. easier. if I can just turn a device off and if the only thing you need is a screen and a stylus #but I didn't wanna ask for a tablet for it bc I couldn't be sure I'd actually USE it #since again. I don't draw much #but when I got my switch I bought a case that came with accessories. INCLUDING. a stylus. that works on my phone #so now I'm trying it with a free drawing program and yeah this is great #if I fuck up proportions I can just RESCALE BITS. YAY

[gatheryourships]

So, because @gunslingerorchid asked, here's a post about my self-insert Tav, Rosenna.

-

I’ll be honest I don’t have a whole lot about her fleshed out. And even trying to write this up for you, so much got changed and rewritten a number of times, and even this response is a complete start over from the very long and honestly confused lore bit I wrote.

Basically what I wrote for the fake BG3 intro post I reblogged on here is pretty much all I got, lmao. But I’ll try to give some more info, as much as I got nailed down right now. Maybe some more that’s not so concrete yet either.

Um, so. Rosenna is an only child, born and raised by a farmer and his wife (last name undetermined) in a little hamlet (also name undetermined) located along the Chionthar river a little ways down from Baldur’s Gate.

Right around that little nook maybe, where the red dot is. I still haven’t decided which side of the river it’s on. But around that area. So that’s it’s between the Fields of the Dead and the Woods of Sharp Teeth.

Rose (for short) lived a nice, little life with her parents. Helped her mom with house chores and what not as commoner daughters do. Also helped her dad a little with the farm - probably a bit less common for daughter to do, but eh. She likes helping and only doing house chores drove her crazy. And it’s something different so she was fine with it, despite getting a little dirty sometimes because of it. Also it was spending time with dad, so… That’s nice. xD

From a young age, Rose had been immersed with stories about heroes. Not necessarily intentionally mind you. Just parents telling their kid stories, censored versions of course. And from there, as she grew up, just got into reading stories about heroes herself.

And between having a good, kind, caring heart and just being a feisty, determined woman who only wants to do right she naturally felt an inclination towards such a life.

However… her mother had another plans for her. Not out of ill-will, just normal life plans that a commoner daughter would typically live. Help her mother until she (Rose) found someone to marry, which her parents were starting to push that onto her, except Rose didn’t have much interest in that. (Yet, anyways. Hero thing first, romance later possibly, ya know.)

What Rose did have an interest in was going to the docks and rubbing shoulders with people who came from Baldur’s Gate and even elsewhere afar, wanting to hear real stories of adventures and journeys from real people that they’ve had, especially recently.

Now it’s here where I’m unsure whether to spin it off as how she picked up some sense of handling a sword. One way is that because going to the docks and rubbing shoulders with strangers is obviously a terrible, dangerous thing to do and her father (and mother) become worried for her and so her father (who’s also maybe part of the citizen militia for the little hamlet - no standing army) decides to teach her (in secret/aka behind mom’s back) so she stops trying to go to the docks (and possibly end up kidnapped or worse one day). Fun, nice, gets interaction with her dad. But like, I just realized it’s the same as the other self-insert for another character I like/liked. So, since I’m already doing that plotline with another character, I’ll probably go with the second option then lmao.

The other one was an idea I had before but was unsure about it (then not now) where she does meet someone from the docks. Not a romantic interest, but thankfully a friendly and honorably decent person. He obviously realized that she’s young (20s, since I didn’t mention that before) and a bit starry-eyed, but she means well and was looking for more in her life, more than this little hamlet could give her. He befriended her and indulged her in giving her stories of his travels and interesting little adventures and happenings he found himself in every time he came into town (only ever stopping by, as did anyone else whoever found themselves at the docks there). Eventually, he himself buys her a sword and trains her how to use it.

From there to BG3 events however… One day it’s too much. Rose’s reckless immaturity has become too much for her mother. So Rose and her mother got in an argument. Her mother had not been oblivious to Rose and her love of heroes, but had hoped that Rose would grow out of it as she got older (she didn’t, it only grew stronger). And enough was enough. It was time to be a grown woman, look for a partner, and settle down and become not just a wife but mother herself. To say Rose was unhappy about this would be a completely understatement. After a yelling match with her mother, Rose quickly packed some things (including her stashed away secret sword) and left home. She got on the first ship to Baldur’s Gate and that was that.

For a year, Rose tried her best there. She got jobs. But they weren’t great. Didn’t pay great. By the end of it, things were… pretty bleak, mentally speaking for Rose. (In my playlist, as confused as it is with this summarization of character, I literally have The Parting Glass (Walking Dead version) followed by the instrumental version of I Want to Live from BG3. I think that says plenty.)

The next morning as she’s going about town is when the mindflayers come and she gets unfortunately (or technically speaking, quite fortunately) snatched up. (Only way to become a hero is go on a crazy adventure right? 😉)

#tav #tav talk #blogger's own #blogger blab #Sorry for so much but that's all of it #as much as i have of it now #i gotta go fix my playlist now that i've changed that whole part of who teaches her swordfighting lmao #its just her life at the hamlet i have issues with #from the fight with her mother to when she gets picked up by the mindflayers- all that is for certain. #oh! i just realized i forgot to add about my main au versions of rose. lmao too long already. #also i don't want to scare you off by talking to much about my tav so lol #let me know if you want to know more #(also yes i took all night to write this. mainly bc my sleep schedules all fucked but ya know lol whoops)