#i've been wanting to do something aura related for a long while

[tuliptic]

Let Me Describe Your Aura

Hello, I'm back again. I have this in my drafts for a very, very long time (since last year), and I have finally completed it. This was meant to be a short reading for Instagram, but well, it ended up longer than what I expected. Tho I posted it there, you can still read it here. Honestly speaking, this reading ended up quite different from what I've expected and I don't really know what I was hoping to get from this. Maybe colours? And vibes? No idea. But still, I hope you all enjoy the reading.

As usual, close your eyes, breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1:

For some reason, it gives me a very Uranus vibe? It’s like you’re a person who’s constantly on board with change as you constantly get involved in almost everything possible. You also give me the feeling that you’re… Not satisfied. You are not satisfied with a lot of things, especially with finances. Imagine the hierarchy of needs. Every time you fulfill one of them, you constantly seek to fulfill the other level.  You’re constantly pushing yourself to achieve better and achieve more, but with this, you’re unable to have some form of balance and may have some conflicts with people you work with. I wouldn’t really say it’s insecurity, but there’s some form of fear and being “not enough” for others that I’m seeing here. Perhaps you come from a big family, and you feel that you have the responsibility to feed everyone and to answer to their needs as well as wants.  There’s an inner child in you that is trying to nurture yourself despite all the rush that you’re putting yourself through, sending you messages so that you can take a break from time to time. You not only receive messages, but you also send them out as well. Some (or perhaps, most) of you may like writing memos or notes for your loved ones.

Tl;dr: Instead of saying aura, I would say that there’s this air of uncertainty that you bring with you. You wouldn’t be called a wildcard, because there’s still some elements of earth in you, aka a sense of stability. But still, many may wonder how to approach you without feeling threatened, I guess. For some of you, you may also have an air of authority, or maybe an RBF, hence the fear towards you too.

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Pile 2:

For some reason, the first thing I’m picking up here is that you like to present yourself as mysterious? However, there is some secrecy involved here that I’m seeing, and you may be good at redirecting conversations or attention to other people. Butterfly effect as well? It’s like you’re fluttering away and not caring about what you’ve done or what are the actions they’ll take.  You have swords and court cards here, and I’m feeling that you’re that person, providing mental insight and stimulation to people around you. Just that there may be some concerns with how you present yourself, how you word yourself, and how people can be easily offended by you. Honestly, I’d say that they’re more offended to you as a person instead of your words or what you do. It’s like… They’re threatened by your presence. Pile 1 makes people feel threatened by their nature, but for you, people are threatened by what you’re capable of bringing - an unwanted change. It’s like seeing you will remind them of what they’re lacking and how much comfort they’ll need to give up, and hence, you may feel like an outcast most of the time, feeling that you do not belong to anywhere.  Still, I’d say, people who are close to you, especially your friends will find comfort in you. You’re a good listener and will be able to provide valuable insights. They’ll be glad that you’re on their team with whatever project you’re working on. If you’re ever interested in working on a collab, do it. You’re meant for it. 

Tl;dr: For you, your aura would be swords-ish, sharp but clear. You know how a sharp and strong sword can be used as a mirror? Yeah that. That’s you, reflecting the fear of others. It’s difficult, but with time, I believe you’ll be able to work along with it.

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Pile 3:

Hmmmm. Harmonious, I’d say. That’s the first word I’m picking up. I kinda have an image of an orange cat sleeping in the sun, probably the warmth, coziness and fuzzy feeling that it gives. You may have heard your friends or people around you describing you as a fun or sunny person, or that you’re like the sun, bringing warmth to people around you. You may also have a lot of passion projects and most of them are incomplete as of current, the same goes with how your life is right now too. Remember to continue whatever efforts you’re putting in. The rewards will come at unexpected times. Another thing I’m picking up is that you like to go along with the flow. Good things happen? Great! Not so nice things happening? Aww sheesh better luck next time. Kinda feeling. Or perhaps, this is what you portray yourself as. I’m getting a weight on my chest eventho there are happy cards. Probably it’s because you put up that mask so that people around you won’t see the pain you’re in.  Vulnerability sounds like a theme that you’ll need to explore, understand, and wield. It sounds difficult and probably painful, but it is needed for you to be able to understand the various facets of life. You’re very perceptive, or perhaps, you have a gift in it. But then, to be able to utilize that skill of yours, you’ll need to expand your knowledge base, experience the various emotions, look into all the tiny things that life has for you. 

Tl;dr: Some may say that you’re a person of culture but you know you’re far from that. Still, people generally like you with how amiable you are, and how you put an effort to make people around you comfortable. However, people will not cross you because you have respect for yourself too. There may be some similarities to Pile 1 with the earthy energy here, so you may check out Pile 1 if you’re drawn to it as well, especially if you have Saturn energy.

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Pile 4: 

A Chinese idiom came to my mind when I see this pile: 与世无争. It means there’s no quarrel or argument with the society, but it generally means a way of avoiding conflict in a passive way. As though you want nothing to do with the current world. Not sure if it’s correct to say that you’re disappointed with the society but there’s some apathy in here, not having much hope with the people you’ve seen. With this, you may have decided to keep yourself closed from the people around you. Not to use strong words, but you may detest the world and build a utopia in your head, imagining a world that is ideal to you and the rules you live with. Majority of the cards here are in reverse, which explains the dejection and dissatisfaction I’m feeling here. I am having problems in describing this pile and it’s making me scratch on my keyboard because of how I’m unable to phrase words. Still, despite all of that, you’re a very capable individual, especially with the King and Queens in your reading. You may have more feminine energy or may present yourself in a more feminine way than others, tho there’s a chance of you rejecting it. People may come to you for help and advice not only because they trust you, but also your words are able to assure them that things will be alright. You have quite a lot of resources on your hands, may it be finances/monetary resources, knowledge, or even network/connections, and you use them according to your needs and values. There may be some… Unconventional skills that you have. I’m not sure what they are, but it’s up to you to figure out how you want to put them to good use.

Tl;dr: This pile is the most difficult pile for me to write as the energy is all around the place yet focused at the same time. It’s very conflicting and confusing, which may be the aura that you exude. There is no clear definition of good or bad in this reading, but more of what you want yourself to be and how you’re going to work on it. 

#tuliptic #🌷 #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #general tarot reading #i've been wanting to do something aura related for a long while #although this reading is more of like describing who you are instead of aura #i think #i have no idea how this turned out to be but i do hope you guys enjoyed the reading #cheers

[thetriplets3]

✻ with you ✻

Ever since we met I've been drawn towards you. Maybe it's because I can relate to you or it's just the calming, safe aura you have. One of my favorite things about you is that you are always there no matter what. You love knowing that I feel safe enough to come to you because you know it's not easy for me. It took me a while to get out of my shell, some days are harder than others but you understand and you are always there for me.

Letting myself into your apartment, trudging past Nick and Chris in the living room without greeting them I head straight to your room. They know this is typical of me and I'll say hi to them at my own time but right now I need you. Quietly I tap on your door only to be met with your smiling face. You instantly bring me into the most welcoming, safe hug. With your arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders my cheek squished into your hoodie and my arms around your body like my life depends on it.

You gently shuffle us into your room and close the door as you do so. You slowly start swaying us side to side, almost like we're slow dancing without the music.

“Can we stay like this forever?” I whisper so quietly you barely hear it.

You say nothing just squeezing me tighter and planting a loving kiss to the top of my head, I let out a small sigh trying to release any bit of anguish I can. I pull away ever so slightly to rest my chin on your chest looking up at you with a small pout on my lips. I watch as a gentle frown replaces your content smile as your bright eyes meet my sad ones.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You gently ask in the most caring voice ever I can almost feel my heart shatter.

I only shake my head in return knowing if I try to speak I'll just cry. You pull my head back into your chest and rest your one hand on the back of my head, gently stroking it. It's rare that I actually express what's going on. Growing up I was always a bubbly carefree child no one would have guessed that I would be dealing with my own inner turmoil as I became a teenager. Mental health was never a topic of discussion in my house and I never knew how to bring up how I felt. Trying to explain something so complex and personal to someone knowing they'll never be able to understand what you feel is the most challenging and painful thing. So instead I pretend like everything is all fine and dandy until I fall apart and go to you to help put me back together.

“Do you want a distraction?” You ask with a suspicious smile replacing your pitied frown.

“Yes please” I say breaking out of the hug we've been in for who knows how long.

You head to your closet, grabbing me a hoodie to throw on since I didn't have time to put one on before coming over in a hurry. You grab your keys and we head out after you tell Nick and Chris we're going out for a bit. I feel bad that I haven't said anything to them yet but right now my focus is solely on you. You open the passenger side door for me with a bow of your head making me giggle. As you head to your side you proudly smile to yourself for putting a smile on my face. You drive off without telling me where we're going. I don't mind though being in the car driving through the city at night when the traffic has died down is one of my favorite things to do, especially if it's with you. As we pull into a 7-eleven I shoot you a confused look.

“Slushies make everything better” you say as you take my hand in yours and lead me to the slushie machines.

Once we get our flavors we're back to driving through the city. I roll the windows down just enough to feel a breeze. You reach over and grab my hand, linking it with yours pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. I can't help my cheeks growing slightly pink as I look out at the LA skyline. We parked at the top of a hill and stayed in the car to finish our slushies. I unbuckle and sit sideways in my seat so my full attention is on you.

“Thank you Matt” my voice is full of sincerity and love.

“You don't need to thank me for anything” you say.

“No but I do. You're always the person I go to when things aren't right and you never for a second question me. I’ve never felt more at peace than when I'm with you. You understand me like no one ever has before. I don't know I guess you're just comforting to be around and I don't tell you enough that I love you” I confess.

“You don't know how happy it makes me to know that you feel safe with me. You know I'd go to the end of the world for you if it meant you were happy. I love you more than you'll ever understand” you say ever so gently, truly meaning what you say.

“All I know is that I'm much happier when I'm with you and I never want that to stop. I love you more than you'll ever understand Matt” I confess.

We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, processing that we've confessed our love for each other. This time instead of a kiss to my hand you pull me in by my chin and gently kiss my lips. It's moments like these with you I cherish. Now in a much better mood than I arrived in, we head back home. We enter the apartment holding hands and the stupidest smiles on our faces. I finally greet Nick and Chris before we say our goodnights.

With you, nothing else matters.

@iluvmatt @stxrniqlo @im-a-matt-girl @antisocialties

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader

[smylealong]

In the defense of Li SuSu

I've been seeing a lot of hate for Li SuSu. Mostly because people don't like that she is planning to betray Tantai Jin and I get it. We as viewers have grown to love Tantai Jin and everything he represents. His abuse is profound, and to see him happy now is really cathartic. I for one love seeing him happy and being a kickass emperor.

BUT...

I say Li Susu doesn't deserve the hate that is coming her way and I will explain why. Long, spoiler-y post, so kept below the cut.

Let's start with a refresher of what Susu was told before she was sent 500 years back.

So essentially, she has to destroy the evil bone. Tantai Jin is a mortal. Today or thirty years from now, he will die. Whether he dies happy or angry, the evil bone will pretty much ensure that the devil god rises. Thus, SuSu has no choice. She needs to destroy the devil bone. And the way to do it are those 9 spikes thing. But why 300 days, you might ask? Because as the god said...

What I understand from this is, the god's aura will keep the demons at bay for 300 days. After which, the barrier will break. But here, I have an issue. As I understand, the barrier will break, irrespective of whether SuSu destroys the evil bone or not. I can extrapolate what happens if the evil bone isn't destroyed. The demons will answer the call of the evil bone and flock the mortal realm, causing chaos and mayhem. Certainly not a scenario anyone wants. But I don't understand what would happen if the evil bone is destroyed. I'm assuming that it would mean that there would be no one left to herd the demons into one organized killing machine? I wish the makers elaborated on this a little more.

So this is SuSu's mission and justification. She is desperately trying not to let the world go into chaos and not to let the devil god rise, and for very valid reasons, I feel.

The other reason I think SuSu gets a lot of flak is that she keeps seeing the devil god in Tantai Jin. Many people relate to Tantai Jin because bullying is an issue that many have experienced first hand (myself included). We have seen this kind of abuse, be it personally or seen someone we know and love suffer. it's familiar.

SuSu's trauma, while huge, is largely unfamiliar. How many of us can say we have seen people we love and cherish be murdered brutally? It is not something that we relate to, understand on an intimate level, or to be honest, even comprehend. Which is why it's easier to blame SuSu for her choices. But let me give a refresher of what happens if SuSu fails.

THIS is what she's trying to prevent. With the crazy emperor of Sheng gone and with Xiao Lin been shown the error of his ways, as far as SuSu knows, the threat of political unrest in Sheng and Jing has been neutralized. She is unaware of Tantai Minglan being alive. So can't blame her for not foreseeing that problem. For now, she wants to prevent 500 years of brutality. And the way to do that is to destroy the evil bone. That Tantai Jin will either feel completely betrayed or die as a result is a gamble she has to take. She loves him but she is trying to prevent years of misery. The choices she has are impossible. Either she chooses the path of happiness for herself and dooms the world once the mortal Tantai Jin dies. Or she destroys him and saves countless others.

SuSu is not dumb. She isn't being blockheaded. She's just been thrown into a very difficult situation.

#till the end of the moon #meta post

[luckyspot]

Pokemon I hope get Regional Forms and/or Evolutions in Pokemon Legends: Z-A

*Wow, this dry spell is...something, huh?*

I'm bored, restless and have no life! So let's do this!

1. Ducklett/Swanna

Swanna is already so lovely, it'd be hard to make a new form that can show it up. But...Kalos was known for introducing a lot of new features for our characters and I admittedly would like some more world building. If we should find ourselves in an City from long ago, I'd enjoy seeing a Swanna geared more towards performing for crowds of people instead of just it's own kind. Maybe Water/Fairy or Water Psychic, using tricks to make a stage for it's dances?

2. Minccino/Cinccino

I mean, look at it! It's a Chinchilla wearing a fur coat! The Reference writes itself! I honestly like Pokemon who look like they're wearing clothing without being TOO on the nose. This Pokemon is a Fashion Icon, imagine if you had to give someone who wants to make a clothing store this Pokemon and seeing bask in the attention on onlookers. A Fairy typing would be quite obvious, but I suggest a Dark Typing instead to reflect the vain fashion designer. Or maybe even rock type to make it sparkle like jewels!

3. Miltank

Tauros got not 1, not 2, but 3 new forms in Scarlet and Violet! I've personally never used Miltank and it feels like it's been a while since it got to flex it's muscles! I'd suggest a full fairy type; one that has milk that is well suited towards cheese! Maybe color it white instead of pink to match some of the French cattle. You could also make it Ice-Type to help keep the cheese fresh!

4. Vullaby/Mandibuzz

Just like with Miltank and Tauros, Mandibuzz has been shown up by Braviary time and time again as of late. (And they technically aren't even related!) Mandibuzz has been sitting in the dust for long enough and it's time for our girl to get her day in the spotlight! There's too many Fairy Types in here, so I suggest a Pure flying type. A Mandibuzz that migrates to Kalos and has it's dark typing purified by the Fairy Aura that covers the region! Maybe make it resemble the Bearded Vulture.

5. Sunkern/Sunflora

Okay...pretty much any flower based Pokemon could fit this slot, but Sunflora's been waiting for a chance for a long time. Look how happy they are! Paris has many gardens full of many beautiful flowers; it feels like a waste to not have a beautiful flower Pokemon. (Floette already got her post) Imagine a large flower that was so tall and had a smile so bright, that it was said that it called the Sun to rise each morning; not Grass/Fairy, not Grass/Psychic but Grass/Fire! Beneath that smile lies a truly warm heart!

Add some of your own to this post and let me know if you'd want to see some of these ideas.

#pokemon #pokemon legends za #pokemon legends #swanna #cinccino #miltank #mandibuzz #sunflora #kalos

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi! I was reading an article in the atlantic yesterday about the Amber Heard trial (I've been trying to stay away from it, because it's so distressing to me, but the headline talked about standom/conspiracy theories, so had to click lol) anyway why I mention it is that the writer said she was super surprised that she was seeing misogynistic takes coming from even the harries that she follows. This was someone who writes about pop culture (I think she even has a book deal on it) and she was surprised that harry's fans are misogynistic. And while one person's bad take is not really notable, your anons are making me think how wild it is that harry has been so successful in convincing everyone he's good about women. I'd actually rate him pretty normal-to-ehh relatively speaking for all the reasons you've pointed out in the past about power, opportunities and the way he in general talks about women in his lyrics. Even the "women are smarter" shirts drive me nuts because like THANKS?! harry styles I really needed you to tell me that (fwi, this isn't even me hating, i'm not looking for activists in my pop stars, and think there's a huge argument to be made about trying to decouple that expectation in terms of making the world a better place, but I digress).

I think a lot of it has to do with what you've said about harry leaving a lot of space around himself for people to project upon. I've seen people give him ideas that would be held by like doctorate level women- or gender-studies students, and compare that to some of the things he's publicly said about gender and they just don't line up.

But there seems to be something else there too... I don't know if it's the boyband thing? But all the guys have talked protectively of their fandom demographic, so probably not. Are we really so lacking in men who actually support women that a t-shirt and turning the temperature up in a room is enough to surprised when they sing about misogynistically about women?

And before the what-about-ers start, I don't think any of the 1D men are good about women, I'm talking about how harry specifically is perceived by both fandom and the GP as being a feminist

hi in case you see this, i just sent the amber heard ask, and I had wanted to include the actual quote from the atlantic article, had reached my limit of free articles so I didn't... but THEN I remembered private windows exist, lol, so here's more context:

"On Twitter, I was personally surprised to see that even many of the Harry Styles fans I follow are, for whatever reason, adamantly anti-Heard."

(and then includes mean tweets from them about amber heard that I have no interest in repeating but are very typical in our fandom)

www theatlantic com/technology/archive/2022/05/modern-celebrity-fandom-johnny-depp-amber-heard-trial/629887/

*****************

Like you I am absolutely fascinated about the stories people tell about Harry and how he has attracted this aura of progressive masculinity.

I totally agree that people often ignore both Harry's music and what he says when he actually talks about gender and related topics. I really don't know why and

One thing I would really like to know is how big a factor his aesthetics are and in what way? Do people really put that much weight on nail polish and flamboyant fashion? Is it the other way round that they like his aesthetic, and assumptions about who people want him to be follows? Or is not that important and just what everything else gets attached to.

Projection is obviously a part of it - both fans projecting onto Harry and how much Harry creates an image that leaves a lot of space to project onto. But I think that's the mechanism by where it's happening rather than why.

The general terribleness of men and how low the bar is, can't be all that's going on because - Shawn Mendes (to pick a man at random) doesn't have the same kind of aura.

One thing that I do think is super noticeable is the very, very, very, long life of the comments Harry made about female fans in his first Rolling Stone article. They spread really wide at the time, and they're still pretty high in people's consciousness (it was really notable to me that they were brought up in the Pitchfork review of Harry's House). As you say that doesn't really answer the question, because it's reasonably common in this era.

I don't think it's just that he said that, but where he said - in Rolling Stone to Cameron Crowe. I think Harry is seen as having a choice, precisely because he's recognised by the rock establishment. It's because he is recognised by men, that his recognition of female fans is valued to the level it is.

I'm not sure what else is going on - I'd welcome other people's thoughts, but those are some starting points.

#I do find the assumptions that Harry's fans won't be misogynist #even more interesting #and odder in a way #but I noted that is Kaitlyn Tiffany #(whose book certain sorts of anons that I instantly delete #are obsessed with #because they think it'll bring down Larries #have I got news for them about the impact of publishing a critical book about something) #I've been curious about her a while #because I don't imagine her book will be want the antis want #(because nobody would care about that book) #and if it'll be interesting #but this confirms what I suspected #which is that she lacks a perspective on her own place in fandom #Oh well #we'll know soon enough about her book

[randomclam24]

If nothing else, now trying Project Brutality on I am the Painkiller difficulty with Death Wish spawning now beyond episode 1

7/21 night Can't sleep.

A question for deciding what format a recreation of my honest Mario 64 dreams which are mostly nightmares would be, what format would work best for the setpiece that's going to be right there when you enter the front lobby? For some reason, based upon a view from beneath of the llama in DK64's Angry Aztec after freeing him and seeing it in a temple, I had a nightmare of having the same view of a fire-breathing dragon filling up the lobby from Super Mario 64 when you enter, and when it happens, the respawning setting you back through the entry doors to the same room creates a potential infinite loop which has to be actively broken. It's a definite thing that if you enter through the front gates of the castle in the clouds, you get the uncanny fire-breathing dragon burning you alive in an infinite loop of respawning.

That's probably the only part that sounds profound, where the rest sounds like some random crap, although the absolute level of negative emotional aura that comes from them might make them stand apart from everything else, but that would require a dedicated dramatic lighting system.

In the past weeks, I've had multiple dreams taking place in either apartments or weird college dormitories where, in keeping with the theme of SH4 that you can't get out, even if it's just the apartment as a whole, Walter Sullivan can be found in the apartment room itself. He talks in the usual demeanor but like he's some real hot shit. It's *very* disturbing. The last one was in a revisited section of apartments where if you set off a tripwire event, either Walter Sullivan shows up to where you have no choice but to jump out the window onto the ground more than a story below, or Two Pyramid Heads show up for the same event, or all of them. After that event, running away because of who's pursuing, it becomes a new iteration of this idea of Silent Hill being a very sprawling open world, where people actually live in it and it seems like monsters only come out at night. Here, it's the dead of night.

Update I don't think there's much of my dreams I personally appreciate that isn't something bizarro.

7/22 night There is another Lacey's games

Update

I feel like there was a horror fantasy that existed in my mind with representations of pig people from Courage the Cowardly Dog that was never really played out in the show itself that appeared here. Honestly, it could have been a lot worse

Update We're going to transcribe the actual quote from Earthbound that I found to relate to internally and see if it actually reflects the same sentiment.

"That's right, I'm a bus driver. For now, I'm resting. Life is long... take it easy, chubs." *refers you to get acquainted with your town map (if you have it)*

So it's surprising that there were three words out of that that apply, and I still took the existential aspect of it. Actually no, the whole setting of Twoson as a world expansion embellishes the quote

Update It's too long

7/22 I finally got overproof again Even in the other sections besides rum, they don't have any of the labels with more than 100 proof on it. They're all more like 40% ABV.

I'm not exactly playing Russian Roulette, but I think this has to do with the fact that I feel like the actual mandatory part of my mission is over

My mom's having me go on a diet starting about now - her making me do things takes the form of her self-talk in nagging me about it finally taking shape as some statements start to stick in her mind and eventually I'll be doing computer programming

The real effect of this stuff is that, in the same way it's said old age is your second childhood, I want to be able to not worry about things for once

I really don't think it matters if I die drinking while failing at Cuphead and Mugman

You guys, you can leave anytime

I'm starting now because my parents are going out to eat somewhere *they* want to go, while they already took me out the other night already and I told them to just leave me home this time, and it's Sunday tomorrow, where they're off at church half the entire day.

Ask a neurotypical churchgoer how it's benefited them over personally reading the King James Version - the fact of it being impossible to actually get through to them to actually communicate that is another evidence we're living across a dimensional rift effectively from these people

I literally don't want to hear "*just* be nice to people", because if you were going to limit it to *that*, don't even go to church

I don't know what letting the situation develop is even going to yield: there will still be the usual response of, "oh, poor white people! (that's sarcasm - get real)"

I mentioned about a month earlier in a lower post being updated on deviantart inspiration coming from the author of Ulysses - that was at the very top of the list of national-class-selected literary works to do a book report on in senior year of high school, and I just jumped on it - I know about his niece's(?) reaction take on it, and it was that he had finally gone mad. What would it actually be like to write like that

You can't lazy-man your way through Cuphead and Mugman. Easy clears don't clear the level barriers.

When my uncle Bob and some other relatives, one of whom was from Germany and only spoke that language, visited, Bob was more than willing to play videogames in the spare time we had here. We played Bioshock on Xbox 360, and that was about the point where I deemed it a major goal to visually review Xbox 360, PS3, and PC versions of this game to determine which has the most charm. I thought it was just the PC version - big surprise - but I haven't gotten my dad to play Bioshock ever since that.

I don't want to think about this: what would perfecting a system likened to James Joyce's writing style for mirroring thoughts benefit other than tech giants who already survey psychology

Buckets of water being dumped on your head, water balloons, and supersoakers - things I won't experience again because I'm too mature now - technically there was always paintball, but - no real commitment, so I never went into it

I honestly don't even care about this enough to make it a legitimate issue, but evidently my dad never had enough respect of what a higher IQ means relative to the need to have other people teach you things versus reading about them in person firsthand - my mom was the one who really valued the fact From what I've seen, she doesn't know what autism means and just thinks it's an automatic effect of such an IQ, which is why she insists upon it

I think about contrarianism to the status quo on enough layers, and all that comes to mind is anti-natalism (Antinatalism - Wikipedia) - we need something more nuanced than that

Anti-natialism, except it's that meme, paraphrasing, I grew up knowing the world would be cold and unforgiving, but I never imagined it being this gay and stupid

That Biblical reality "know yourself" - I think I'm overdoing that to a fault But I don't have anything better to do - even doing my homework doesn't seem like as much a progression

The biggest blunder I've made with some viewers socially I think is this act of mine of taking up the challenge with people who think that it's alright to amount unresolvable conflicts to violence by their word - so in a sense they're *hypocrites*, because the same isn't valid And yet in their terms, they're still absolutely right - I just sense brainwashing

I've done all this drinking, and I've even listened to some of the music too, but I've never gone to a club before - I've heard you're not missing anything

Okay, just sum it up to this: I had a bunch of artworks on deviantart which I never really went through explaining the energy itself of, and that was for a long while, a very long time.

I just went over them. Basically: There's unresolved trauma

*I will play Saya no Uta* and see what results

With the way you can barely even find it in stores, I think I *will* just hold it against people that they aren't "overproof" in their convictions, if you know what I mean Actually, in fact, I've never considered it a bestowment to be smarter, in IQ (there is a *big* gangstalking cue going on right now) - like, could I just consider myself "extra" and leave it at that?

I've heard the saying "too smart for your own good" - if you're a Christian, "he who knows what is right and does not do it has sinned" itself gets complicated?

I mean, if it comes down to it: the kind of discourse I wanted to have was bridging the gap between the veritable "dimensions" of politics and its underbelly. So if things are going easy on me the whole way through, I'm doing something wrong.

A memory: in Boy Scouts, there was a quarry by a standard place scouts would go to camp out in in interconnected cabins with wooden platforms with ladder-stairs. But when it came down to that competition in the quarry, where we were doing capture-the-flag I became a ninja

Yeah, somehow nobody noticed me rock-climbing

The day before, some adults with their sons were showing off guillie suites and what they could accomplish

Feeling like "getting it" doesn't mean *shit* when everybody's goal who is a white male made self-aware is to drop out

I wish working my ass off didn't now mean doing the same thing as conformist "beaners" and "pajeets" who will just do whatever the establishment of corporate governance *wants* them to do

I actually like working my ass off when all the connotations aren't involved because I need something to keep myself distinguished from people with lower IQs to convince myself I'm not lacking despite the fact

It was specifically when, in community college, not *even* a liberal arts college, that a college computer science textbook on the back cover said (when I knew about homosexual programmer socks) "you know you want it" - no more

I love you guys I frequent, but I wish Original Content (OC) wasn't so sparse and far between

Is it an overstatement to say you guys are keeping me sane?

If the situation shifted to where working your ass off like boomers virtue-signal no longer identified implicitly with the establishment, I think I would go ahead and *do* it

Update I know I denounce atheism as people who have a mangled image of what it means to have a father figure, hence by proxy slandering the Bible and its Lord, but when it comes down to it, I don't have any positivist image of a father as a spiritual leader.

My dad is a computer programmer, and he is obsessive.

One reason for not wanting to just ramble about my true feelings, despite the fact that I'm articulate enough for it: there are true sick fucks monitoring my thoughts, so for example, the concept of going more in-depth with something like the way Earthbound's cave music sampled in creepypasta actually kind of entices me would have consequences on the other end.

If you get drunk enough, unironically pool hentai files, real-life or otherwise

That's not thinking of just anybody involved

I'm sorry

But honestly, asking my older cousin about the concept of sharing porn just to have him be reviled or something to that effect, I was surprised, mainly because he specifically said what *he* had would be too *much* for someone like me, in *my* league - so...

But that's the same guy who said he took it up the ass (to try it? (?)) (He said it wasn't great)

Update There are a lot of videogames that were for simpler platforms that I wouldn't consider to be any good now - that's simply because I'm older

*None* of my best hentai is recent

Update It seems like, even if I *did* go a little off the rails, for the rest of you, that moment would be just what is called "trouble in paradise"

I feel like I'm being tickled all over Sorry

Update I threw up. I want to think there's some meaning to the purists' "pray the anime away", but even now, it seems superficial

The pioneers threw up when dining with the Native Americans after a long trek, and then kept eating. I don't know.

Update Maybe the drinking is a cry for help.

I'm just playing Earthbound to whatever game over My parents just got home from Bellacino's with pizza Ouch

Update By my mom's metric, she would be saying her nerves are shot right now.

Real talk - the way liberal professors said they were shocked by the state of pupils from their generation then growing up, what if I'm also a complete and utter dumbass in my example

Update I remember being on a cruise ship with my parents on the sea to Jamaica and back, where I could barely stomach it. I hate this. This is worse than that.

Update It might be according to gangstalking, but my mom always says "*no* alcohol!" whenever we go to Wal-Mart (to no avail) - I *want* to be able to relate to other people in that regard.

I don't want everything to remain superficial. I'm always so pent-up, unconscious restraint always accomodates for what everyone else considers a conscious moral. In my case, it's not even conscious, but practically against my will.

Update What my dissenters among friends post, I would appreciate if you posted something extremely weird that took me by surprise.

Update after some sleep One thing's certain: If that comment I saw about how you have to just accept certain things as they are if you want to do Dark Souls had any merit, we wouldn't be seeing the mass dropout rate of white males from the system as the result of the current awakening. Instead those people would be *in* the system *doing* something.

7/23 night The latest Lacey's games, I'm still thinking about it (suddenly there was a big booming noise like a thunderstorm was coming again - there's another one)

7/24 How to get out tha hood in 3 easy steps

1: Run. Really fast

I have this thing where, if I'm not doing it all at the last second with all of the worrying involved in that, it feels like I'm just giving final affirmation to conformism once and for eternity

Update Okay. I think I've struck something. I remembered that during the time when I had to learn Physics II at the college level in under two weeks because there were *other* subjects that needed that same treatment as well, there was a way of looking at things that didn't stick but was there for that time where instead of looking at the individual items of information as things that need to be read into, like where women expect men to be psychics, instead just take everything at face value for what can be read out in that span of time per se and then just move on until you find the better explanation of those things in the text. That seems to have worked.

Update It seems like what we went into getting myself medicated to address, but there doesn't seem to be anything to specifically get me to stop looking too deeply into things once I'm set in the grind of doing them rather than just continuing to look at them at face value to get the raw information that constitutes the education and nothing else.

Update Unironically all I did so far was stop sitting on the side of my bed with the table right in front of it and used the desk chair and boosted it up to one of the higher seat positions, and I'm going through this faster. Also, I just got through sleeping all last evening to this afternoon, barely unbroken - about 19 hours

Now I don't know what people mean when they say being drowsy when you get up is because you sleep too much, because I had that when I woke up in the morning, but after then sleeping until the afternoon, it felt divine.

Update I think the reason I always wanted to try to go back to the mentality I had with school when it was just elementary school had to do with the fact that before people saw how far ahead I would try to go on my own and condition me not to, it seemed like everything was going to be a cakewalk. But then it turned out to be a matter of sitting and *waiting* for 90% of the duration of anything that does exist in this world, because that *is* how it is structured.

Now, for some reason, even when I do make significant progress, it feels like all the waiting involved in the classroom setting has passed also, and it's like I feel the pain of all that, and that discourages me.

Update Eventually, trying to type out all the material, which I do need to do to keep focused enough to internalize the material, starts to sound like rambling for its own sake, and there's nothing I can do about that.

Update Okay, this is an exception. For once, I've slept long enough to not want to go to sleep as soon as I try drinking, and that will probably not happen again any time soon because I don't sleep enough.

What are goals

So as soon as I'm done helping put away dinner, it's on

Update I hate how it's basically true in my case that alcohol, or a bit of it, loosens your inhibitions with interacting with other people where you couldn't otherwise. If that wasn't the case, what if I just lived my life?

Honestly, in a way, I wanted the experience in order to honestly make the judgment against people who are perpetually poor, but when it comes down to it, for most people, who aren't high-IQ and potentially neurotic, I don't see them get all existential about it like me. I think "overqualified" is a real concept here.

I honestly wonder why no one's made the consideration, what if tranny people actually had a reassignment surgery that worked in every sense that they claim? Right now, it doesn't - but science fiction has gone there long before this has been relevant. What if the reason people aren't open about it isn't even because they're uptight per se but because they're consciously aware, from experience these past generations, that every metapolitical issue is being used as a proxy for the whole of political correctness now? Because in that case, *I'm* not even going to go there now.

In Portal 2, I liked the saying they used that it takes someone particularly bright to make decisions this bad, which is their explanation for how the main character robot with the Irish accent got created. But in that is also something implicit: that regular stupid isn't simply going to create a high-level infraction just like that, by mere chance. In that is an implicit anti-evolutionism, because of the logic used. And I basically just now thought of the connection between that and sin as "missing the mark", in its Biblical meaning - it takes someone getting very close to the original meaning to then mess it up in their example for everyone else. That sounds like what sin meant Biblically, if that's the definition they were going by: literally leading the lambs astray. The meaning "to miss the mark" for sin Biblically illustrates how it can be done by accident.

I *would* like for church to feel more "real", not coming from myself as a complete outlier but from other people in those positions. But if it's like the accusations to Protestantism say, and all they're going to do is create their personal translations, then what's the point

Update The base level of discourse online is so bad - oh, please, *justify* me staying sober!

This seems to be the drill by now: start to post less as you drink, but if you have a memory come back because of it, you can post it

People used to talk using the home telephone, and conversations used to be a kind of art - at least from what I've heard, but you get the idea

I don't even use social media for sociality, at all, whatsoever

It was because I actually used Steam's chat for more socialization than actual social media that I mistakenly tried painting it as "social media" in a class that called for it, expecting every student to come up with something unique, and it was weird

I shouldn't have even been in a class for social media, other than that that's where I learned firsthand that they've been using algorithms even for things like new music for years.

I just remembered something. It used to be a thing in ancient history to take melodies that already existed and compare them for their chord progressions. I don't imagine that's what was in mind with these algorithms. No, according to the class, it's because of things that keep the majority's attention most likely, over anything else.

If you're tired about hearing about me, imagine how I feel having to be myself.

Update I can't share just my personal desires with the masses

What if it's true that the kinds of people who are great writers aren't great leaders and that the kinds of things expected of great leaders, I *don't* have in mind?

Dude, I think I finally found the words for what I was trying to say: Movies like Finding Nemo, the original, movies that came out like that once every so often now are so rare

Every so often, a thought in the ballpark of this surfaces - people always consider horniness an unwholesome thing, but is there no form in which these urges can be taken out in a way that is? Clearly not for kids, but still.

One thing I heard recently is that in this rare case someone got a virgin bride, all that sexual energy that would normally be taken out (these days) on many men is all focused upon you, and they said they found it cute.

Come to think of it, we're so far removed from colonial Americana, it shouldn't even be *attempted* to be pushed under the rug and hidden

Update I saw Common Filth call out escapism which I'm liable for and not give any alternative, not anything that stood out as meaningful

Out of all the people coming out of the "woodwork" to be reactionary to me, I don't see anyone per se trying to "correct" me

Honest to Lord God Jesus, there were people written about in the Bible like John the Baptist who survived just on berries

It just occurred to me that in Biblical times preceding the New Testament, it was written pastors would be struck down by lightning if they approached their preaching scene in the improper mindset to preach for the Lord. Why did that happen?

I'm not special. I may be very precise and accurate, for things that can be known by simple means, but actually being special categorically - I don't think so.

The sense of childish wonderment goes above and beyond that of commitment. Memories like going into the 1994 2.5-D Jurassic Park arcade booth for the first time have no precedent today.

I'm trapped in a sort of cycle of preferring my dreams over reality to then just want to wake up from some of them that are more like nightmares

I don't like the President F*ck Joe and tha Hoe Seriously, who elected that shit? Are you serious? Do these people hog oxygen?

My gangstalking bugging makes people intimidate me, but I wish you people yourselves would impress me. That's stone-cold.

Update And come to think of it, I don't think, even among the people I frequent, there are a lot of people who teach the fear of the Lord out there.

That's where I come up with the half-baked ideation that, for what it is, the fear of gangstalking *is* the modern fear of the Lord, and that's that.

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

I'm given this information online - what more do you want from me

That's in accordance to Biblical age of consent - therefore - what more do you want from me

(Ripe age: 14)

Update Okay, okay, and then you have, how else then are we going to convict these pedophiles in high positions? You're saying you don't have the info already on Satanic ritual abuses?

No really. It seemed machiavellian to me to convict the upper class on pedophilia charges when it's in that age range

Update I've seen it memed organically by people IRL on the Internet only a few times, but for some reason it makes me feel guilty because of the detachment of it: this image of a train station master keeping the time on his pocketwatch, like that's the higher standard above people's feelings. I don't feel good about that. It's emotionless. But at the same time what is unbiased science

Update I really think boredom as a thing with me with people's uploads isn't pronounced enough - in all honesty, I don't know *what* I'm missing, but I have that interest in the surreal aspect of my own dreams that never goes fulfilled

I want someone's intimidation to me for once to not be in an anal way that's completely hollow and unfulfilling

I slept for 19 hours, so despite heavy drinking, for once I can stay up with it without the typical drowsiness - "I take my life like I kept it - up mah sleeces"

You know, I never *thought* of that - for all the celebrities saying that you have to feel pain to assure yourself that you still feel - I've actually heard that there is such a thing as the celebrity who will want to go off and live in a log cabin with a thirteen-year-old girlfriend and never be heard from again, but you can't search that up! I've only in-person heard of it.

How do I describe my barriers to morality? You see things like Bioshock create an extreme example where you obviously are instructed implicitly not to take them up. Is that "poisoning the well"?

I actually *like* the sensation of being at the borderline of my nerves being shot.

You know how your limbs will go to sleep, left under pressure from other body parts long enough? Some people know about that, from what I've heard in-person. It feels like that.

It's like I'm trying to come up with my own "Qabbalah" so it feels iike my life constitutes something

There's a certain level, I'm like the people who never had their asses kicked back throughout grade school to learn from it - but these are subjects not talked about

I want somebody to be tough. I'm so depressed

Update That Trump tape that was so renowned had the same effect as leaks of elites saying you can just take the child prostitutes freely - they're already conditioned for it - not one of the people who visited Epstein's Island has been arrested

Update I don't know how to make text small, but I've had dreams more than I'm comfortable with with, indescribably long tunnels that you have to crawl through - SH4 does come to mind - I don't like it - it's very uncomfortable - some are underwater at the same time - and that's how you get to certain areas that are considered divine in nature as secret areas

As for people who *have* gone through the childhood trauma between the ages of 3 and 4 or so to get a split personality - should they even be allowed to remain alive?

Update Commander Keen, the first three episodes of which were in my childhood throughout, was said to have an IQ of 314, much, much higher than even Jimmy Neutron - what would it be like to have a virtually infinite IQ

Update I'm steady used to everybody considering someone showing off at *my* level being just because I'm a virgin

Update All things considered, it's kind of stupid for me to consider alcohol in the same way that people like my own dad would consider spice level that goes up to Habanero or Ghost Chili peppers - in either case, though, you *could* be hospitalized, and yet my dad still considers it, if only in irony

Idiotic, idiotic - don't do this

Nothing seems like a skill issue anymore; it just seems like a time commitment issue to the dungeon crawl.

Update /pol/ had a logical point they considered their "razor" - is this the "razor" when it comes to real life? People back up through the 70's had *their* idea of what futurism would be like, which has taken precedence up through our own era, really, but socially, you're like, no, age of consent has to remain the arbitrary state it's at - and no matter what, that's because of more modern social insufficiencies, because it's not Biblical. I don't know *how* one would expect to get through the social insufficiencies that are the modern world as a concept as opposed to the ancient world. Well, if you can't just say, it's the jews - then what are you left with? Floundering in the wind

Update I want people there to be able to give me checks-and-balances even at a time like this. The occasional "you fucked up on something potentially" while I'm just sober sounds like virtue-signaling if left entirely by itself And I don't mean a diss by that - I mean what I said by the statement I'm just not impressed, by anything - that's true.

Update I could never get anyone do "do their homework" on what *I* put out - they just put out reactionary videos. No diss, but it's enough that I feel alone

*Small text* I don't know why I think of this now, but there was slated to be an Artemis Fowl movie back in the day of that book series, but it broke up due to financial reasons - I knew someone who actually did the in-depth bottom-of-the-page decoding I read some of the books

Yeah there used to be book sequels to where there would be lore like that, like a sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that goes above and beyond the surrealism of the elevator at the end - I only vaguely heard about things like that

That was the point I was trying to make, with such references

How am I going to renounce drinking in the future? By admitting somehow that the kind of interest I have now in now rereading books like A Series of Unfortunate Events was not just completely dependent on entering this state, when in reality it kind of was.

Update Related to this state, I've heard in PSA material that it takes 5 entire minutes to drown when pushed under rocks underwater in the currents

I've heard that Monogatari was the primary reason a lot of anime started getting more normalized toward pedophilia

Update How are races supposed to come to terms in America when eventually, it's going to be like, what are we going to do with all the strictly non-conforming? Real questions

"Conservatively", could we have set a limit to illegal immigration such that such an address would no longer be necessary? No one ever brought that one up

Update That your concept of "principled" as a conservative means you can't make an address to the gross exceptions that have been made already - is this real history? Yes, yes it is.

Update I hate youuuuuu

Yeah, the hardest thing to break to people which is still entirely concrete in its truth is that we can't simply take in the entire third world which constitutes the majority of the earth's population and still retain (super-exaggerated) *our democracy*

If I hadn't bought so much alcohol, I could have afforded a mid-tier external hard drive by now and have been playing things like Bioshock Inifinite on this notebook from 2022 for $500. But then my parents would ask me, where did the rest of the memory go

Apparently you have to be an accepted gamma male(TM) to even use the N-word, and that's without the hard-R. There was one point at which I think I got the N-word pass

Update I wish I wasn't universally shadow-banned. That way if I wanted to for example, I could ask, do you want me to continue work on the original release of Ib in 2.5D? It was left at the lobby section for the sake of just giving an example of what the conversion could look like Now there's not going to be an answer given

Update There's so much pressure against people "being white" - maybe that's the reason I'm getting drunk right now

So, at best, speak as a gamma male, not as a "white person"

Update I plain spent too much money on booze in total. If I didn't feel like I was one some kind of mission with it, I wouldn't have.

Update I honestly can't handle as much as i thought. I'm struggling with about the same amount that made me throw up last time.

What if in the end I think I'm entittled to the same welfare that black people are, because I'm simply lazy

Update If I had the motivation, or whatever you call it, to see everything like I did the second grade, that would just be miraculous

I wish my individual life would have higher stakes than just, do what you're told, or we'll throw you away

Viva Pinata (Yes, this is a message a la Q's quest to decipher a message a la "drink your ovaltine")

That'th so *dope*

*smacks lips* ayo where tha white women at?

Update Pussy-vagina - "here -" Pussyvagina

7/26 As a last measure to experimenting with alcohol, I'll see just how much I can still be productive on, as opposed to doing nothing as usual. In fact I am so uptight that a little went a long way.

Update I just remembered something from "back in the day". DK64 had creepy segments where a set of gun sights would start moving around the screen trying to lock on with a timer, introduced with a very harsh voice-over of "Killers!" Even as a kid, it was like, they're introducing the concept of contract killers in a game meant for kids? And the first time it happens is in Angry Aztec's creepy temples whose music is already questionably disturbing for such a game.

Update Things I want for *Christmas* No more gangstalking engines revving in the near distance For some things like a lawn mower going every Wednesday can be chocked up to somebody's schedule, but these revving noises are much more specific than that. But also the start and stop times of the lawn mower are tuned to this as well.

I don't know why *nothing* is a better medication for everyday work than a bit of alcohol as self-medication. From what everybody around me has told, that's *stupid*. I think it's just them *saying* it, though

What if people disrespected people in the way that people do when they don't respect the institution of "muh science", and not *even* the scientific method I'm already used to it. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep quiet and out of trouble with these people. But what if *they* had to put up with it? Bitch

Honestly, with this mindset from the substance involved, come to think of it, there's probably a sense of tactile satisfaction that comes from everyday productivity that keeps people *doing* it. I don't have such a thing normally at *all*. That's why then when you have something legitimately hard pop up, it springs me out of my seat and back to bed without a thought being involved

I'm absolutely idiotic. Back in grade school, I had the drive to blaze through anything in curriculum I wanted because it was all compact enough you could do that with little extra effort. That's all I get a sense of satisfaction from, not the course material itself

Even back in college, I wanted to prioritize at some point typing out the Bible in the way you would a textbook, if you do that kind of thing, but what happened - there is so much capitalization, at least one of my pinkies blows out

Maybe trauma does even more to people than what has been let on, because I'll usually find satisfaction in the *setting* of something and be more prone then to space out than actually partake in the thing itself like everyone else is doing

I actually really like Yakisoba noodles, but only the beef kind - they're cheapest at Aldi

Surviving on just Ramen noodles through college - do people really, because they always tell you throughout school you need enough sleep and eating right in order to do well on your tests

I got a 93% on the ending exam for another major section just now, and that's on some alcohol. At the same time I see and I *don't* see what somebody was saying by exclaiming that all these people who get drunk casually think they're in control - I guess you're saying that all of those people don't have that mechanism of keeping oneself in check - because I'm self-aware of it to the extent, you would know just to wait for one second and reassess - that's not on *much*, though

Update I'm having the dream from last night come back hard for some reason - because of the appearance of Kyubey and some other similar creature, there were sudden ruptures that would go through entire blocks of city, leaving everyone dead in its wake, and the only way to get away was to pass through a territory completely owned by Mexicans or something who would attack if they recognized you as not one of them

Apartments with really high floor numbers keep recurring

So classic games, I've already played out the meaningfulness of, and I'm not obsessive to the point of wanting to grind them for particular high scores. Kind of feels the same way now for anything productive - replaceability is absolutely real, and I *realize* that.

It might just be good advice to try to save up on cash in America and then move to a different country where inflation won't be so high.

Honestly, where is the elementary-school rendition of the sense of innate competition going to come from that I say, I'm going to really get ahead in this program - I already have the decent grades to prove myself - actually let's put aside the fact that I have a General Transfer Studies degree - that doesn't get you anything.

It's just that, am I supposed to compete with people in the sense of outdoing how caught up in the system that's going to work them as hard as they can get away with I am?

In Silent Hill 2, there was a definite theme with the basement's basement where someone was locked up where they said they lost their precious ring down there but would never, ever go back. In Silent Hill 4, it seems like that theme has been made into the home in which you live, because of the situation in there. I just feel like 2 and 4 mesh together more as a narrative than the others, and 1 and 3 are left as the "cult" games.

Update So what are the drawbacks to trying to correct things any further hoping to prevent the collapse? It would cause retaliation to go even further.

With this way I'm diagnosed to no tangibility in effect - you can't simply tell a man just following orders he's fucking up

Maybe with some of these people, you're really talking about the fact that their sense of "sticking up for the little guy" entails defending a man just for only doing what he's told, when that's the means by which the earth has experienced its most numerous deaths by genocide.

That's what I tried to say with mentioning people's "better sense of judgment" - that that could just as well have been conditioned into them by someone's orders.

Update Being pressured to do homework to where I was at the boderline of being in a frenzy doing it, I could bypass the fact that the way I normally look at things sober interprets everything as if it's trying to be poetry or something.

Frankly, I want to be able to do this type of thing like it's my laundry and be done with it.

Update much later It got me worked up, but I got over it and found out what I thought was wrong about 7th-gen visuals on PC - typically the "very high" lighting settings are overkill for the level of visuals to where it made it seem somewhat more synthetic where these were visuals that started to look organic up close for the first time. Not even resolution is as high-priority as that, although I made a similar decision with 1080p being overkill for its range as well.

I got Unreal Development Kit downloaded again. What are we going to do with it? Nothing because I'm not skilled.

[lanaintheskydreams]

Dream Journal for Sep 16-Sep 19

I've been so off track with this that I am going to restart it tomorrow. I was out 5 days for a business road trip and then yesterday was a birthday, an herbalist class, and a dinner. AND today I have to unpack and clean up so I am going to restart it in full tomorrow!

I had many messages and an interesting part of my dream. I still have been in other "lives" in my dreams regardless of how bad and sleep deprived I've been. I am in elaborate long situations where I am interacting with alot more characters now. The soul romance period has begun again, where I will dream about a new male soul every night and we feel "romance", but no sex hahaha, which is strange. Aurora says physicality is a training wheel for the physical world, and once we can control the inner state, the physical outer shell will fall away. So I think the love that I feel in my dreams is something I can embody all of the time and it needs no social construct or expectation of a normal relationship. It is something I can exude and receive whereever I am at. Also, there was a part of my dream that was silly. I was looking at a miniature town where these tiny ghost figurines were sitting on "chairs". The girl next to me thought they looked like marshmallows so she said "they are marshmallow hopping". I didn't perceive them as marshmallows until she pointed in out so I thought it was a clever point of view and I laughed. It made me wonder whether "different parts of me" see something in my head in my waking life and points things out to me, or if that was really another astral character. If thoughts are not ours and we just "pick up on them", then where do those thoughts get born from? Whenever I hear a joke in my dream I think its hilarious and wake up laughing. I wonder if I can take credit from it because it's from a place only I have witnessed, and I think its from my own brain. Or is it really someone else, or just another side of me, and I (not the TRUE I, but my "personality" is made up of many entities).

Some other insights I had were that entertainment is desensitization trauma reprogramming. When I did EMDR I found that the eye movement helps you desensitize to your traumatic memories. Well, watching/playing entertainment does the same thing. Even though it is portrayed as "fantasy", by ingesting those horrific violent images, we (our bodies) are also desensitized to them through the guise of a fictional tv medium, and then perhaps terrible torture that has been happening to us will live in our subconscious as just "something we watched last night", instead of it being a true memory that was wiped from our brain but can never be wiped from our aura/heart/psyche.

Also that our consciousness is the most important currency in this lifetime. That is why they do EVERYTHING they can to make us distracted through vices, vanity, silly entertainment, YOLO life, upgrade in technology. Jesus Christ came here to teach us about CHRIST CONCIOUSNESS, anyone who has merely "accepted" Him or baptized themselves without living in utter moment to moment radical self responsibility and commitment to awareness and perpetual self-growth is still living a blind life. There are many vices that hurt yourselves and others, but the root vice is not knowing YOURSELF, your TRUE power. The greatest sin is to yourself as you fail to live your full potential God had gifted us while you live behind fictional veils of fear and narratives and social constructs, and thus the collective humanity for not giving YOUR TRUE SELF to the collective big painting picture of God.

We are trained to think "I can't wait to meet my future partner". We must think first "I CANT WAIT TO MEET MYSELF". There is a difference between meeting someone you can't wait to RELATE TO, share, grow, create with, and someone you want to possess, own, control for your own comfort, security, ego, satisfaction, and social construct check list (goto college, get a degree, nice house, be respected, etc). This is what ALOT of relationships are LIKE, the divorce rates reflect this.

If you are living on your correct path, there is no existential torture of purpose, every second of your life is EXHILERATING, because you are in creative control of your own life and you experience freedom and adventure each moment.

The oppress us to bring us up and divide us. How do we know that all racism hasn't been weaponized just so they can just aim us against eachother?

Also really looking at the "hunches" in my life and going deep into them and trusting them. Right now I am seeing that my meditation of the word "cup" may have been a sign, a password. Aurora kept using the word "cup" in her most recent example of synthetic and real telepathy which resides in the heart, and I feel like she is a true teacher of what I want to learn, and this has been a password for me to connect with her.

Anyways, here is the update of how bad I've been.

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

#mirio #asumi rio #takarazuka og #takarazuka #this interview is super detailed so i've been wanting to translate it for a while #she's such a stubborn person but i kind of admire that about her?? #must have been hell to work with at times tho #but such a calming presence offstage lol #hanagumi #tkz #og #mytranslations

[captainkurosolaire]

~ Mass Update ~

Mainly going into future plans and intents alongside ideas below cut.

Ton's of things I've in store this will prove difficult to vent it all out. But here we go... First off rehashing and appropriately learning to tag and organize things better on my blog. Each category will have their own corresponding content, I seek to bring or share. [Tales of Goldbrand] -- I intend this to carry a Compendium of all my writes soon that'll have everything neatly in-order including a glossary, so it'll have highlights of stories that even matter or the best stuff. I've written here for a very, long time, there's been many shifts. I want to make it more accessible. While coloring what matters for people who want to learn Captain or his Crew with less chapters. While also giving choice to find it all easily. This is essentially a step-above master-lists. I'll be doing that after the Saga I have going on, right now is done. [Captain] -- Will provide you strictly with Captain screenshots, gifs, photo-sets. This is still his blog despite the Crew thing's will sort of make this a scuffed Multi-Muse blog. I've few more things to edit and tag fix to get all his stuff though. [The Wild Crew] -- Afterwards this story is done Immortal Age Saga, It's something that I mainly wrote as a passion project within three days to get my warm-up process fixed. It's to allow me to get a feel for all his Crewmates and casts, in combat, in-general, to feel their presences. While also giving a bit of their backstories. At any point, I can go back and polish or tweak things in. They're NPC's but... not entirely. All will have their own 'Dreams' and their own 'Disapproval's' they have their own missions even. These things will factor eventually, they might set seeds, to betray or disagree with something, but that's all angst and more stories to be created, but overall, they'll probably always be Crew, eventually. -- I plan on making character-profile sheets of them and putting them in this Tab, it'll have their screenshots, their likes/dislikes. Some RP partners or people can also be shipped with them, but they'll all be monogamous and originally start off probably Pan. This allows them to figure out what they like on their own stories. I've always been someone who likes organic-flow. Although this one story contain all 16 characters or more, the rest will probably be shortened to a Squad of 4 and dispersed when on adventuring missions. Until I do a War Arc, that's my main goal to build too. [Roster] -- Will contain this Crew in just screen-sets dedicated to them, I'll probably randomly produce those. I've PC players among this Crew too. I may not be done either adding more, but this Crew is mainly built around Quality. Most pirate crew's mainly, have hundreds, thousands. Even Fleets. This Crew has personalities, monsters, people who are living life's that exist with piracy. He's an particular leader that had PC players the same way, he's had split-personality serial killers aboard, tribal chieftains, succubus, all sorts of various people once on a Crew. It's often an outcast style, pirates default are chaotic in nature, so this really isn't any different, it's a Fantasy version of it. There's humanization characters aboard too though, so this cast is really decked, everything and person is vital, they matter because they remind or covet something that others can draw upon. If ever played (Three Houses or Mass Effect / Dragon Age Origins) A lot of things like that are relatable too this structure and format. Which, Is something I want to be able to give when RPing. I want a genuine feel of this new world someone else's muse will be the main-character too. Depending on what's interacting everything they'll be scale appropriately to follow the genre they're in and environment even. [Aesthetics] -- Already explainable what you'll find here. [Asks] -- Same thing. [Prompts] -- Trivial things I was tagged too, I plan on compiling later. [Writing] -- Another alternatively to randomly go-down and it works right now. [Logs] -- Will have more individualistic master-lists and posts there, my poems from Sheik Sphere the Bard, etc.

Things of that nature, I'll probably add still. It's where a lot of my creative writing is summed. [Gems of Hydaelyn] -- My main #tag for other characters and artists, creationist. Lot of amazing people easily to find their zones or follow them optionally if you like. Ton's I intend to support and bolster, be a lot less unspoken. I'm never the type who's been strictly inclusive. But I'll do that when I've time to even explore the dash, I'm always still planning ahead with things and projects. [CKS] My original character-sheet it's outdated on something's but not too terrible. I'll give him polishing someday, I swear? [21+F-List] -- Just purely degenerate stuff of Captain. I'm a pirate blog. I will represent that with openness and furthermore. I'm never projecting you some false-image. I started off a smut-writer by stripping that, I no-longer represent the same aura and identity. But those are strictly his stuff and kinks, I'm effective in executing them but they're not all relatable to me OOC. This blog will always be 18+ containing crude or dark material sometimes, romantic things, this Captain is blunt, will literally put his cock on the table in conversations. Swearing and being censored would be too uncommon and displace most of him, but there's more about him then all this. [Other] -- I pay homage to a lot of characters, I originally am a Concept Designer. Which mean's I make characters and ideas like my addiction. Bad characters / villains or other little things I like to share in designs, I'll put there. Some villains might get little photo-sets, even if they died. Just cause I like their design, or maybe I'll give them an AU, where they won. When I've wrapped up things. [Collabs + Ships] -- Is a new project idea. This isn't going to be something limited too romantic only ships. It'll contain, platonic, romantic, friendships, rivals, frenemies, family, PC Crew, all ships. I am desperately working on improving my gif, screenshot, posing game so I can supply 'Screen Stories' this is not only a way to RP that's accessible with even people who are upon time-crunches from work, It gives visual-representation. To impactful stories shared with others and establish bonds. That are all-valid and impactful matter. Lot of people take a lot of their characters attributes into them and are them dialed up, I work with that and bit more, differently. I'm disconnected from my characters and they'll get hurt and injured and killed by me, that's my duty as their Author to give them conflicts and struggles. I'm their major antagonist, but that doesn't mean at-all, it's always SET that way. The characters I like to make have their own life, they live in this setting and are abide by it, they're often nothing, nobodies, and by the interacting with others, they slowly gradually building, more... Through emotional impacts, they alter, these are REAL people by all their beliefs. Each person they come in-contact with are legitimate and treated like that too. They've always impacted or given them insights to grow, or represent more. Otherwise it'd be criminally disrespectful if I allowed any emotional I felt OOC be the grudge to something IC. Captain in-particular is set on defying me. I cannot have that. ...But I can't stop him. He's met and encountered so many people and lived so many scenarios based on the actions of others, he's giving a chance right now to actually do things a lot further than impossible. The more people he meets and encounters, experiences, the more I lose. These stories are emotionally interactive where everything is a factor and adds to the dice, where the other people are the one who get to roll the dice for him, not me. That's something I want to color in. People range in emotions, they have their down's, ups, their own wholesome-grounding people, spending time with your favorite people, there's nothing more cherishing than that, being in your own comfort-zone or 'safe-space' these are all treasures that we live under, today. Contrary if what people assume of me, I'm not another 'blogger' that's came

before, who's wanting to force a harem, then constantly is bewildered when that falls to pieces cause of selfishness or a lack of communication, or the skeletons they have in their closets and beliefs they hid behind and swindled fooled everyone. I'm not looking to be popular or anything really, I just create stories and want to share in those, and I want to also boost others included, upward with me, especially those who make me. There's no ego in anything I do, this is purely love. I've never cared about being replicated or duplicated, I've had stalkers, I've gone through more then anyone would imagine, I've been used OOC and abused, just for my writing and cold-harshly told, i'd never amount to anything other then that or vice-versa. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion. That's all I got and am anymore. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion is the hardest thing to keep. It's something that can be stolen, quite effortlessly. Few words of discouragement, a bad negative representation, a lack of confidence, or small amount of time, there's many thing's that can put that flame out. Once you lose it. The difficulty to reattain is hundred-times harder than climbing any mountain for real. I've watched the greatest creators crumble from under the pressure, from beaten down by others. I watched many of them do it to themselves because they put a grand vision of needing validation of another and once lost, felt uncompelling to press onward. But passion also can be given BACK and drawn. It can be shown and encourage others, with a soft-triggering, that pushes them. That motivates, that constantly sticks to it. There are many that fuel me. If I ever quit, I let them down, I spit in the faces of people who're better than me in every-way. Or people who've came and given me their precious Time. That have given their character's or dedication to the abundant stories and community-driven things I've done. There's ONLY things you can do, create, give and provide. It cannot ever come to life without YOU. This is a fact. ...I swear, If you let your creativity soar, you'll be amazed by the heights you get. Constantly polish and learn and hone the best you, challenge yourself day after painstaking day, to draw better improvement on something, no matter how trivial or unfamiliar you are. You'll find a confidence only you can give yourself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Future Plans --------------------------------------------------------------------- For me, I've got so much more stories to give and also explore, I might be taking up soon some other artists and more skilled people from community and hire them for some of my future writes, to up my game or cause something thing's can't be done in-game cause no background carries it. I also got a lot of-set up things and more angst stuff I want to practice, plus I'm adamantly on that grind to produce screen-sets with the intent's to some sort of improving daily. Additionally more people I'll be reaching out too soon for these collab's ideas and things. I look forward to shaking your hands, giving some hugs, show you my respect and admiration, then creating some enchanting stories and giving plots light. Feel free to reach out to me, I get scattered-brain but I'm working on getting better about it. Eventually will get to you though, my goals, if uninterested just say so when I poke, no bites, unless you kinky. Anyways, cheers hearties.

#ooc #update #future plans stuffz #ToG #Work on thinking of daily practice now

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Penny being trans + autistic coded made me resonate with her as I am nonbinary and autistic myself. Her being a robot felt like me when I have to hide my neurodivergent traits. Her getting confirmation that she wasn't just a robot/machine but a real girl felt so validating. I don't have to look like everyone else to still be considered "real".

Ironwood's semblance being literal hyperfixiation, something I've dealt with since I have ADHD + autism would have made me feel better about myself. This is a man who, despite everything: his PTSD, being an amputee, still was a kind-hearted man. This is something rarely seen in media. I was happy.

Then they fucked up both Penny and Ironwood in ways that struck me. Penny is hacked into and forced to comply with basically forced suicide- she was to open the vault, then self-destruct.

Ironwood, oh dear god. They couldn't wait to fuck him over. He was so HAPPY to see team RWBYJNROQ. He told them everything about his plan, trusting them with literal GOVERNMENT secrets, giving them a place to stay, FREE weapon upgrades (Atlas is known for its advanced technology), hell even gave them their HUNTRESS LICENSES THREE-ISH YEARS EARLY (which Ruby later uses as a credibility source in her broadcast, which was eerily similar to Cinder's in Volume 3, when she says IRONWOOD CANNOT BE TRUSTED.)

Not to mention that she conveniently forgot she was calling for help from OTHER KINGDOMS. OF COURSE they wouldn't arrive soon enough. And no one had reason to trust her. She's a nobody. She was at the Vytal Festival and her team made it all the way to the singles? Cool. Ruby wasn't the final fighter, hell after the 4 vs 4 match she didn't compete further.

Blake would have obviously been a bad choice: she's a faunus and if anyone knows about the White Fang, they might recognize her.

Yang is more known than Ruby, but the world saw her kick an unarmed teen in the finals round. She doesn't have too good a reputation.

Weiss? She's well known as the Heiress, but also her singing. Having her give the speech is a mixed bag: on one hand, she's a recognizable face. On the other, that's a problem. Her father, the CEO of the SDC, is known for his cruelty. Blake said it herself way back in Volume 1: questionable business practices and partners.

So... How about no broadcast at all? What did her broadcast accomplish?

Nothing. Help didn't arrive and likely caused more panic. Plus, people still had a negative view of Atlas, as the last thing the world saw was Atlesian soldiers turning against civilians.

The last broadcast was before Beacon fell. So likely another hacker giving a message would be met with fear.

And what attracts Grimm? Negativity.

Ruby's broadcast could have been a DEATH SENTENCE to so many. But no, this is treated as the... Right course of action?

Ruby and co. hates Ironwood's plan, yet it's clear they don't have one. RWB spends a lot of time moping around the manor drinking tea. Team YOJR (Yang, Oscar, Jaune and Ren) actually DO SOMETHING. Oscar gets kidnapped and they chase after him. Ren rightfully points out that NONE OF THEM SHOULD BE DOING THIS. But that goes against the Hivemind™, so he must apologize and agree to whatever the fuck Ruby decides to do.

Which is NOTHING! RWBY didn't even take down the hound: WILLOW and WHITLEY did. A drunk woman and an unarmed teen defeated it.

Oscar is the one who blows up the whale (with his time bomb? huh??)

Ruby whines that it's all too much, cries on a staircase while her sister (remember that Ruby and Yang are related????) comforts her. The scene has no emotional depth because the two barely interact anymore.

OH GOD AND WHEN YANG TAKES A HIT FROM NEO THAT WAS MEANT FOR RUBY IT TAKES HER OUT COMPLETELY. AURA? GONE. HELL, SHE'S EVEN UNCONSCIOUS. I swear it's like the animation budget could only afford to have ONE character react, and it's Blake "sad kitty face" Belladonna. Not Ruby, who is her sister. WHO HAS A SPEED SEMBLANCE. But no, they just watch her fall, not knowing if she's alive.

Ruby has more of a reaction to CRESCENT ROSE, HER FUCKING WEAPON falling.

Which is retconned so hard in the Vol 9 trailer, where she tells Neo "I hope it was worth it" before falling into the void. Huh??

Anyways I'm rambling again but I am so angry!

-🎼

Never, ever, EVER apologize for rambling. I LOVE hearing peoples thoughts and sometimes it's a really nice feeling to let out your frustrations and anger towards something that has caused you harm and it really REALLY sounds like this caused you a lot of harm and so I do not blame you one bit for being hurt and angry. I should apologize for this taking so long. This was a lot and I needed to sort my thoughts and even so I probably missed some points so I also apologize for that.

Penny and Ironwoods biggest mistake was trusting and being kind to RWBY. They lied and betrayed James and treated him like garbage even though he showed them nothing but kindness and did whatever he could to help them and listened to them. Penny was told what to do and think far more so then James ever supposedly did. Ruby decided to give her a new body, decided she didn't like how James was treating her and that she thought James was a bad person, and decided that Penny was better off with them. Penny stopped being able to make her own decisions once she started hanging out with RWBY and co.

Really though what did they all think was going to happen when they sent out a message that matched beat to bear a lot of what Cinder said before Atlas fell? Did she think about the panic that would cause? Did she forget she was worried about Ironwood telling everyone back in Volume 7 because of the panic it would cause everyone??? Did that just conveniently slip her mind?

I honestly think Weiss would have been the best choice to give the broadcast of them all but I don't think they should have sent out the broadcast in the first place. It should realistically only cause panic and death but the narrative is gonna yadda yadda right past all of that.

Oh god yea RWBY and co complain and whine and scream that Ironwoods plan is bad whilst offering up no alternatives then just taking his plan and acting like it was theirs the whole time. They even did this in Volume 7 when in episode 2 they where worried about James telling Atlas about Salem and then turning around and acting all happy and shocked when James told everyone near the end of the season as if they wanted him to the whole time and not the other way around.

Man RWBY really did jack shit all volume huh? As you said all the major things side characters did: Fight James TWICE: Winter, Emerald, and JNRO.

Try and rescue Oscar: JRY

Blow up the Whale: Oscar

"Redeem" Hazel and Emerald: Again Oscar

Defeat the hound: Whitley and Willow

Launch the tower: Penny

Help defend Mantel against the swarm of Grimm: FNKI and the soldiers that all died trying to buy Ruby time while she cries in a mansion.

Like what does this girl do to help any of the people SHE trapped???

Oh god Ren, poor Ren, he's finally seeing the light but he can't stray from the Hivemind so he needs to get back in, we can't question the pure and perfect Ruby her plans are always right even if it causes Salem to get two relics and destroys the only kingdom with an army or the technology to restore global communications in the process.

Yea you're right like CRWBY can make excuses all day for why Ruby didn't react to Yang falling and MAYBE I can buy her not using her Semblance because she's in shock but not crying or reacting at ALL to her supposed death?? Why does her weapon get a more emotional response then her SISTER? Why is only BLAKE allowed to be sad about Yang supposedly dying? Why does fucking WINTER have more of a reaction to her sister dying?

Why are all the people we are supposed to be rooting for so fucking unlikeable???

#RWDE #Pro Ironwood #James Ironwood #RWBY Bashing #Pro James Ironwood #ironwood Protection Squad #penny polendina #Sorry for MY rambling #and more rambling to come most likely

[epickiya722]

Asui, Midnight (rip), Monoma, Kirishima, and Kurogiri!

ASUI: Is there a BNHA character you can relate to?

I thought I answered this one, but I checked and I didn't.

Anyways! I relate to three characters. Asui being one of them for the big sis status. I, too, have younger siblings and do my best to help them out whenever they need me. Going off of that, I also relate to Tensei, Iida's big brother. I don't want to disappoint my siblings and fun fact, we share a birthday! Funny because my youngest brother's birthday is a day after Iida's. The last character is the fave, my sunshine, my precious baby, Midoriya. Our personalities are kind of similar. He reminded me of me during my middle to high school days. Compassionate, not afraid to let out his feelings, etc.

MIDNIGHT: A character you would want to meet? How would that meeting go?

Oh, there is a couple. First off, just both classes A & B, throw in Shinsou, Eri and Hatsume so I can hug each of those kids and tell them how wonderful they are.

Of course, I must meet Miruko so I can faint in front of her, wake up and fangirl.

Now, if Present Mic and I met... endless talking, laughing, everyone will need earplugs.

MONOMA: What’s something you hate about the fandom? Something you love?

I see this quite a bit with this fandom is that people can't seem to get that BNHA is still going, it's not a complete story yet. Yes, it's been announced we don't have long, but it's still an ongoing series.

Also, recently, I've seen people go onto other's blogs just to tell them how much they hate the villains, if that people likes the villains they should off themselves, same thing with Bakugo and ships... I'm like, "if you don't like the characters or ships this person likes... DON'T INTERACT!"

It's not hard to just don't harass people over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND SHIPS. I made some posts related about while back (here, here, and here). I, myself, don't like some ships but I don't get into someone's inbox to tell them something so pathetically mean. I just skip past them. Trying to keep a positive aura around me.

Something I love though? The fanart, the fics, headcanons, theories. Look, every fandom can have that toxicity in it, but there's always some area of it that is fun and friendly. You know how many memes I seen in this fandom and laugh about it for days? How many fics of the many ships I have I've read that captured my soul? The FANART? Don't get me started on the theories and headcanons.

KIRISHIMA: A headcanon you have about [insert BNHA character]?

You forgot to give me a character here, but it's all good! I'll do it for Kirishima!

Which I've been thinking for a while because I do it, but I headcanon that when Kirishima first dyes his hair, he chooses to get dark colored sheets and pillowcases because he is afraid of staining fabric just in case the dye does rub off. For extra precaution, he'll wear a hair cover or something. Also, he has hair ties and hair clips for when he has his hair down. Probably leans one or two to Kaminari or anyone else in the class with longer hair whenever they need it.

I just think he's big on hair care.

KUROGIRI: What’s something that has happened so far you wished didn’t?

CRAP, it's a manga spoiler and I don't want to say it for anime only watchers. Let's just say, the heroes are really going through it and MY BOY TWICE....

However, I will say this. Season 4, Mirio. Like... did my guy had to lose his quirk?! (I mean... I know later he... but...)

Also, because I do have like the villains, I did NOT appreciate what the Meta Liberation Army did to Giran. Like why the fingers?!

And Curious going splat. She was a cool character to me.

BNHA ASKS (PART 2)

#kiya answers #kiya answers questions #bnha #mha #bnha asks #midnight #bnha midnight #nemuri kayama #tsuyu asui #giran #kurogiri #neito monoma #eijirou kirishima

[sor-vette]

four, circus!! (index/description)

☜ three, an all-out fight club!!

☞ five, dots!!

t/w: dead bodies, mention of overdose

"This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen," Yoongi thinks to himself as he blankly stares at Jimin, transferring the PPT file to the projector.

123 slides in "Reasonable arguments as to why we should date, _̵͚̾͌_̶̢̛̘̅͛̕_̶̡̧̝͗̒̋̌̚_̴̮̒̍̿̃͠ .

"Wrong PowerPoint bro," Jungkook grunts with closed eyes. No doubt the idiot had tried to stalk you throughout the night. It's been three days since Erik had officially enrolled.

Namjoon also has his eyes fixed on the projector, his expression giving nothing away.

"Resigned to death, poor bastard, as you should."

Jimin momentarily looks behind him to see why Jin had started to snort in laughter before scrambling to choose another file.

56 slides in "What do we know about Erik and what to do about it?"

"The title could be less verbose," Jin remarks, spinning his chair around the room.

"You're one to talk, literally," Jimin sneers but, there is very little malice in his voice if any. Besides Namjoon, V and Hope, who actually stuck to his word of minding his business, Yoongi didn't know anyone personally in the room. Though he sure has heard of the connections they had with you. Each weirder than the other.

Namjoon, the CEO, the one who went overboard in commitment and scared you off. Rumour was he offered marriage before the first "I like you." But that as well could be bullshit.

Hope, with the most cordial contact out of all. And also the most distant. You two had fundamentally different perceptions of how the world worked. Incompatible match, as the saying goes.

Jin. Despite the grandeur of his character, Yoongi knew very little of him. Even less as to why you left. He presumed the lack of commitment on both sides.

Jimin, the almost. For five months Yoongi had to hear nothing but coy whispers of just what good friends you two were. What good time you both had jumping back and forth from Paris and home. And then with zero explanation, you weren't. Every once in a while, he'd see the two of you in the hallway. Working hard to suffer through an exchange of pleasantries between long awkward pauses. The whispers had been effectively stomped to death, with no one the wiser as to what the hell had happened.

V, the one you hated and the one who hated you. How the two of you even met was beyond anyone's understanding. How you didn't rip each other's throat out even more so. Why he was here? God only knew.

And the last one, JK. Your trainee before Erik. The one who'd shamelessly bounced, leaving you in the dust when the enrollment came with a nary of thank you. After that, you officially joined the cleaner department and largely went missing from the public eye.

And, of course, Yoongi himself. The only official boyfriend. The one who officially broke both of your hearts.

"If all of you could please focus!" Jimin snapped, standing with a wad of paper in hand, waving it like a teacher in front of particularly annoying group of students.

"He even made notes," Namjoon whispered faintly.

"More like a manifesto," Yoongi snickered, letting his eyes wander over the sheer thickness of the file.

"Silence!" For a split second, Yoongi wanted to make a jab about a chihuahua being able to bark, but having considered his own height, he chose to be silent.

"So, let's start with basics. Erik Genyer. Joined two and a half years ago through a recruitment agent. He's 24, lived in Seattle before moving here. No known parents or siblings." Jimin recounted with ease.

"I hope you didn't look through his records," Namjoon frowned at the screen. "Because I did not authorize that."

"Does it count as looking if it's a brief glance?"

"Yes."

"And yet here you are benefitting from it." Namjoon could only breathe through his nose a tad harder.

"Why are you telling us this?" Jin interjected. "Mr CEO here could just give us his file - we'd read for ourselves."

"I will not. That's against company policy."

"And what you're doing here is completely legal and non - invasive." Jin raised his eyebrows, not phased even in the slightest that he was much below Namjoon's position.

"Silence!" Jimin yelped again at the front. "Has anyone here worked with Erik?"

"Hope definitely has," V piped up from his seat, looking as uninterested as one could. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. V took the piercing glare in stride, haughtily turning away.

"Well, yes but..." Jimin shuffled on the stage almost awkwardly. "He has strictly declined the invitation to our little... boy band."

"Wait does that mean he could tell _̸̢͉̦͔̣͈̱̅́́̓͊̇̂̓́̕͝ͅ_̸̨̙͚̻̬͖͉̻͔̑̓͐͜ - I mean R.D.?" Jungkook suddenly asks, eyes wide. Even Yoongi blanched at the thought. Everyone straightened in their seats. This was all fun and games until the moment you knew. Oh, you'd rip each and every one of them a new asshole. All of them could kiss goodbye to any attempt of trying to mend bridges. By that point, there wouldn't even be a river stretching underneath.

"I sincerely hope not." Jimin whispers and they sit in a moment of silence, weighing the risks.

"Heh, hope not." Jin suddenly gives a breathy laugh solely to be met by a general aura of disapproval.

"It's not funny." Namjoon scolds slightly but, Jin being Jin, openly looks him into eyes and goes -

"I know."

Amidst the banter, JK raises his hand shyly.

"I trained with him for a short while."

"And what is he like?" Jimin's eyes almost sparkled at anyone giving an actual insight.

"He must be wearing contacts or something," Yoongi mused, pushing the cap of his water bottle around the table. He knew Jimin to be attractive. No one in the entire company would shut up about it, nevertheless, something about him seemed almost supernatural.

JK shrugged in response.

"A bit rude and careless but talented. He finished training early."

"Did it seem like he was particularly going after her?" Namjoon interrogated further. There was a deep scowl of resentment on his face.

"Uhh, no. I think he was interested in the cleaner department in general. Apparently, he spent most of his orientation there."

"He also spent a month in surveillance. Did you speak with him...V?" If V was surprised by Jimin addressing him personally, he didn't show it as he continued to inspect his nails.

"Didn't even know he was there."

"Why did he stay so long in the cleaner department?" Yoongi asked as he ran over the information on the screen. Besides the already mentioned month in surveillance and a week in networking and relations, this Erik hadn't even tried to apply anywhere else.

"Poor communication skills. I had to throw him out. That's why he was only there a week." Jin explained.

"So you spoke to him?"

"Well, no, Irina," he was interrupted by a hollow thud. Without prompt V had dropped his steel thermos onto the desk, tea splattering everywhere and staining JK's jacket in the process. Both of them fumbled to clean it up with anything they could. V dabbed the desk harshly, the wood creeking at every aggressive wipe. Yoongi saw Jin looking sideways, the same confused expression echoed on his face.

"Well, as I was saying, Irina, R.D.'s friend, I'm sure you're familiar, came to me, said he was causing trouble and asked to refer him."

"And you sent him to R.D.?"

Jin gave a deeply suffering sigh.

"No, I did not send him. I referred him to general management and they gave him to the cleaners ."

"Ok, I get all of this. But what are we supposed to do about him?" Namjoon interrupted, jaw set in a tight grip.

Jimin fell silent at the front of the room.

"Yeah, this was the main question." Yoongi thought bitterly.

It was all a question of ethics, wasn't it? JK could pretend all he wanted to be above it all, to be respectful but then he trailed secret circles around you. Whether from guilt or perhaps a sense of entitlement. Yoongi didn't know or really care. Nevertheless the kid clearly had a hard time differentiating between what he said and what he did. Yoongi was however surprised to see Namjoon be so eager. He quite fancied making himself bald from worrying about the nature of evil. Just how easy it was to hide it behind big aspirations of providing aid. But it seemed as of late all of that was tossed aside.

Jimin was the one who orchestrated this in the first place, and so naturally, everyone looked at him for guidance. He was still shuffling around, nervously fiddling the blue pen.

"Well, first of all, I think we should talk more to R.D." A huff passed around the room.

"Talk to her?" V asked sceptically, mouth set in a straight line and heavy wrinkles carved between brows.

"Do you have any idea how difficult that would be?"

"Certainly it would be for you," Yoongi snarled, earning a harsh glare.

"Listen, at the end of the day, it's not really about us trying to force her into something. It's just to make sure... she's living a safe life. Well, the safest that's possible." Jimin said with enough sincerity to trigger certain insecurities within Yoongi and by the look of it also Namjoon.

It was no secret that between the seven, they were the most possessive over you. Both having the wrong idea that you were theirs. Which is why you left and why you probably were so caught up in Jimin. The purity and sheer selflessness of his sentiments acted like a punch to the gut. The genuine care that he reflected like a sun made the raw wound in Yoongi's chest seep even more. To be loved like that would be a dream come true. Yoongi shifted his attention to the laminated floor.

"We talk to her, find out what her life is like, keep a close eye on what Erik does. Talk to other cleaners about him, and once we find out, she's happy. That's. The. End. Of. That." There was no uncertainty. Jimin was dead serious.

The meeting was adjourned, quite amicably actually, but Yoongi knew that the rest of them had ulterior motives and plans. He had them too.

Jin and JK were no threat. Both were too uncertain of what to do with you.

Jimin had some deep-seated self esteem issues. Despite his 123 slide presentation, the way he spoke made it clear. That's probably why the abrupt parting, Yoongi mused. Both of you most likely shared the same anxiety about not being good enough for the other.

V was just V.

Namjoon was the only one Yoongi was truly worried about. Even from looking at his back, walking headstrong up the stairs, Yoongi could see how stubborn Namjoon was. In a way, it was like looking in a mirror. The possessiveness, the mulish mindset. They'd saw you, all of you and had decided that this was it. Yes, Namjoon would certainly be the toughest rival. However, Yoongi was very good at playing the long game. Especially if he wanted something so bad it felt like his thorax slowly being ripped out.

All that was left was Hope. But he wasn't even a viable player. After all, he hadn't even shown up.

***

"Why the fuck is he so heavy?" Erik grunted, swaying left and right and holding onto his dear life to the bagged pair of legs.

"Rigor mortis...set in," you huffed in answer, from the upfront of the body. "At least he wasn't rotting already. That's just nasty. 1, 2, 3."

Both of you lift the body into the van and let the poor bastard drop with a soft thud. Sweat pooled underneath your white hazmat suit with plastic glasses digging straight into your brain. You banged hard against the "EMT" van, and it drove away, carrying Dr. Martin Leyster to the morgue.

Should the neighbours see anything, it was a sad story of a depressed psychiatrist accidentally overdosing on his own meds. The evidence of him manipulating his most vulnerable patients into bankruptcy erased in you any stray feelings of sympathy though.

"You have the peroxide?" You rifled through the cleanup bag, but instead of answering, Erik began to actively point somewhere behind your back. A cold chill ran up your spine as you realize someone has been watching you stuff the body in the trunk. It quickly dissipates when you see a familiar smile.

"Hard at work, I see," Hope whistled, bounding towards you more like a kid on a school trip, rather than what the reality was.

"May I borrow your mentor for a bit?" He asked politely, still smiling up at Erik. There was no warmth in his expression.

"You are after all now an official member of the cleaner crew. Surely you can handle this on your own."

Erik looks at you for a moment before giving a loud sigh and trudging back to Leyster's office, the white toolbox angrily swishing back and forth in his hand.

Without hesitation, you remove the glasses from your head, revelling in the ease of pressure. Hope had stopped smiling altogether, looking quite pensive.

"What brings you here?" You ask lightly. To see him here is not worrying per se, but certainly interesting. He gives a quick shrug.

"Nothing much. Wanted to see how you were doing after that runt's little stunt." You only laugh at the shallow animosity. Erik's talent to drive people out of their patience was truly remarkable.

"I'm doing fine. You know... working. What about you?"

"I've been working as well."

You both fall silent.

"You ever thought about leaving the BH?" He suddenly asked, and you quirk a brow at the question.

"Not particularly. Have you?" Hope focuses a blank gaze at the grey walls of the multi-story apartment complex.

"A little bit. Last few days especially." You stand in muted shock. Hope was the last person you thought would quit. He was, without doubt, the most devoted, the most passionate out of all the hundreds of employees. He lived for the cause, he himself said so. And yet now he stood uncertain in front of you. Not really the bright and friendly Hope everyone knew, not really the strict and somewhat terrifying training teacher. He was just...quiet. It was an upsetting scene.

"Do you want to go for a drink or a lunch, maybe?" You offer, reaching for the zipper of the white suit. Yes, Erik could handle this on his own. He was a big boy. Hope hastily placed his hand atop of yours, pausing the movement. Even through the fabric, it radiated warmth. No wonder people called him sun. He frowned at the conjoined hands, lightly stroking his thumb over your knuckles before lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"No, no. I don't want to burden you with my problems." You didn't believe his smile for a second.

"Well, I won't steal you away for much longer, the pup might get anxious." He turned around, by the looks of ready to sprint off.

"Hey, wait!" He paused, not looking back.

"Do you why JK has been stalking me?"

"He has?"

He had. The first time you noticed a shifting figure in the background, you wrote it off to the combination of hangover and exhaustion. The second time he'd run off into the night faster than you could catch up. The third time you nearly flung yourself off the roof when seeing a pair of doe eyes staring back at you from an empty apartment building.

"There isn't like an alliance going around between some of my... acquaintances?" Truth be told, you found the very idea ridiculous, but it had wormed its ugly way into your brain and was now near impossible to get out. JK, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon wouldn't even get along with each other. Even though those four were most likely to meddle in your business. However, if looking realistically, it was probably just your paranoia taking an intensive round. Seeing suspicious cars, watchful eyes and snooping noses where there were none. Hope threw you a sardonic smile.

"That would just be stupid."

(a/n)

In this story people have their names and codenames and will be often used interchangeably. It all depends whether in the story the POV character knows the names of others or not.

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #bts angst #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x you #jin x reader #jin x y/n #jin x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #hoseok x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts poly au

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

02 - Growth

Chapters songs:

Peach Fuzz: Tyler The Creator

Nice Boys: TEMPOREX

Money: The Drums

— Y. L. Perspective

I walk into the lunchroom empty-handed and nervous. Like the idiotic person I am, I had forgotten my bento on the bus and surely couldn't depend on any of the students to possibly find it and give it back to me.

And so, I begin searching for my fellow third-year friends. It was hard due to the countless students looking for their friends to discuss a simple ten-day break, which I didn't get why it was such a big deal. But it wasn't like I could relate in any way, I had three measly friends who spent every hour of the day with me.

Suddenly, an underclassman boy decided to run across my path hastily, causing me to trip over his shoes, and fall onto the ground.

"What're you doing on the floor, Y/n?" A strong hand reaches to my face, waiting for approval to lift me. His blonde hair shuffles between his free hand.

"Thanks, Toruku," I say, pleased I found 1/3.

He pulled me up and assembled a smile onto his pale face. "No problem. Mind helping me find Giki and Hikishi?" He asks as I dust off my fingers. "The bell is bound to ring soon, so we'll be able to get lunch then. But not if we don't find them."

"Yeah, that's what I've been doing for the past five minutes," I say, with a slightly worried tone. I wasn't trying to spend my entire lunch looking for a place for us to sit. "How about we split up? I'll find us a table, and you find them?"

"No need. We're already here!" Says my black-haired friend, Giki, who stood next to Hikishi.

"Finally, now can we go eat? I wanna catch the lunch line before it gets full." Before another voice calls for me. I sharply turn around, ready for the confrontation.

"Yes?— oh!" My eyes widen at Suga, who plastered a worried expression onto his face.

"Sorry to interrupt you, it's just, you left your lunch on the bus. I came to return it to you." He explains, holding his hand out for me to take the item. It looked just as before; a little scraped and worn out, but still the same.

"..really? Wow, thank you." I take it back, looking back up at him. "It means a lot. I was about to die of hunger. Plus, I've had that since middle school."

"Y-Yeah! Of course. I couldn't just leave it there." Sugawara brushes his hands together, still mumbling something to me. But my eyes were focused on the box, feeling the warmth of his hands that still lingered. "But it's no problem!"

Then, I had remembered the entire reason I rushed out of the bus. Bearing another moment around him after sleeping on him would have killed me. "Listen, about this morning. I'm really sorry, I was really tired this morning. I never meant to invade your space or anything—"

"Oh, about that!" He suddenly interrupted, eager to go into the conversation. "There's no need to apologize for it. I'm actually kind of used to it, since I go on a lot of road trips with the volleyball team, we get pretty tired after games. Not that it relates or anything! But you seemed pretty embarrassed. I wish we could have talked more."

"I'm sorry, I really am. I was just in a rush, it's not something you should stress about." I explain to Sugawara, as he shifts from one foot to the other.

"Of course, if you'd like to talk more then... I guess we could. It has been quite a while, I'm still a bit curious to learn more about you." He replies, looking down in a bashful way. It surprised me such a social, popular, and beautiful guy like Sugawara would want to talk to me out of all people.

"...I don't mind. Although, it confuses me why you'd want to." I laugh, placing my hands into the pockets of my uniform.

"Why wouldn't I? We used to be good friends!" He smiles at me brightly, as he continues. "Besides that, I'm interested in what you do. Music, I mean—"

"Ahem!" Toruku interrupts with the clearing of his throat, leaning over my shoulders while side eying me. "If you don't mind, could we go eat now? We've all had a long day."

"Oh!" Suga is brought out of his concentration on our conversation. "Sorry! How inconsiderate of me to keep your friend stuck talking to me!"

My hand gently pushes away his face, and my eyes look back at Suga's. "If my buddies don't mind, we can teach you all about that." I turn to the three students that stood behind me wide-eyed. "It's okay, right?"

They straightforwardly shrug, meanwhile, Toruku looks grim. "Yeah, it's fine."

"A-Are you sure? I feel like I'd be intruding on something!" Sugawara says, worried my friends wouldn't be very accepting of him. But truth was, we saw each other more than we saw our parents, so thirty minutes with an additional person wouldn't be too much of a problem.

"It's alright," Giki says, meanwhile we walk towards an empty table near the stage. Sugawara's feet stutter, contemplating whether or not to go along with a couple of social rejects.

"If you don't want to, that's fine too. Just don't hold us up." I grin, looking over my shoulder at his confused look. "Hurry, Sugawara!"

"Oh, alright then," he mumbles, following the rest of us.

After stealing ourselves, I let out a big yawn, opening what sat in my bento: white rice, pickled vegetables, and soba that I had microwaved this morning. "You're not having anything, Suga?" I question him, while the rest of my friends open their bentos as well.

"Oh, no thanks. I usually eat after school." He returned. But as if he were in mute, I start shuffling around my book bag to find something I might have. Finally, I find a simple orange: not too old and not too new.

"Here, eat this." I toss it to him, and he quickly catches it. "I keep extra good in case I get hungry. Plus, don't you do volleyball? You've gotta way to be strong!" I say in a raspy voice, mimicking a coach or older adult.

He giggles, and thanks me for the small gesture. Even if I'd just started talking to him again, it felt as if I was comfortable around him already, just like before.

"You do volleyball?" Toruku questions him, placing his feet onto the table. He laid back with his arms behind his head, and the collar of his uniform unbuttoned. He was trying to prove something to him.

"Sensei Tamaki is gonna yell at you again.." I sing, placing a lump of rice into my mouth. The rest of them agree, and Suga just giggles while peeling his orange.

Suga nods at him, giving him a light smile. "Yes, I'm a setter. I coordinate the attacks and basically everything else."

"Oh..?" Giki, Hikishi, and blondie all utter confused at the new term. Thankfully, I had the slightest experience in volleyball, which meant I could explain to them.

"Being a setter means you're like the control tower of the team. Like Giki; without her drums, there wouldn't be a steady beat to a song. Or take Hikishi; the base is what makes a base tune. That's the best I can explain in your language." I explain, looking to Suga for any corrections.

"That's right, yeah. How'd you know?" He leans on his arm.

"I may not look like it but I used to play back in middle school. But really, I just played because of my friend group. All of them were the athlete type." I reply to him, meanwhile eating before loudly being interrupted.

"TORUKU AIZAWA!" The expected teacher yells at him, pulling many people's attention. "I WILL NOT START WITH YOU THIS SCHOOL YEAR! FEET OFF THE TABLE..!"

"Okay, okay!" He rolls his eyes, placing them back onto the floor, and crosses his arms. "That old hag.."

Suga laughs softly. His hand crept around the fruit, peeling it as he discussed more. The only thing that was embarrassing was that his words spoke about me. "So, I've heard Y/n is really talented. You know, I would have figured that out if she wasn't so introverted as a first-year."

Hikishi makes a small noise of agreement, before sealing their food, and responding. "Oh, yes. Y/n his her vocal skills from us for quite a while before we brought her out of her shell. Not only that, but she's really good at guitar. Ever heard her?"

Sugawara shakes his head, looking back at me. "No, but I'd love to hear! I understand she's quite angelic."

"I— Uhm, no!" I smile sarcastically, leaning over the table to stuff a piece of chicken in Hikishi's mouth. "Now you be quiet!"

Sugas head perks up, as he begins, "So are you guys signed? Better yet, do you have a band name?" He questions, leaning on his hand while he talks.

"Grimlace." Giki responds, resting her head on her folded arms. Why was he so invested in this conversation? Hell if I knew.

Still, it seemed they had no problem with meeting Sugawara. Well, except for Toruku. But he was always suspicious of any boy I was comfortable with that wasn't him.

While he discussed with my cremates about different subjects on music, I quietly ate my food, observing Sugawara while he had absolutely no idea.

When he was fifteen, I remember loathing the first few moments around him. He'd only ever talk and have energy inside him, like a living Red Bull bottle with an extra shot of caffeine. Of course, the next few times I saw him I'd already gotten used to him and his tiny crush on me. His aura was what inspired me to rebuild myself. Sad thing was that when I was done grieving, he had just begun.

I heard that one of his parents had passed away and that it was a big impact on him. I couldn't even imagine losing one of my parents, even if they hardly even raised me. How I wish I could go back to last year, and find him again, meanwhile searching for the old him. But it seemed that the agony that weighed his kind soul was light, and once again, I met fifteen-year-old Sugawara and that bright smile of his.

—

"It was fun talking to you all. It's not always that I get to converse with such a different group than what I've known." Sugawara mentions as he stands up from the lunch chair, along with the rest of us. "You all must know Karasuno isn't a very divergent school."

"Ah yes, we're aware," Toruku says, slinging his shoulder bag where it belongs. "It was nice talking to you as well, but we've outta get going now. Have a good one, Sugawara!"

"Hey," I say, drawing his attention back towards me. "I might stay a little bit late after school. If—..if you've got practice today maybe you can help me get back to the neighborhood." I silently prayed he didn't catch my stutter. "It'll be pretty dark, wouldn't want me to get lost, now would you?"

Shortly after, he replies, "Why, of course. Although, practice usually ends around five to six. Mind if I swing by once it's done, that way I can wait for you?"

Hikishi quickly swung an arm around my shoulder, and smiles at the grey-haired boy."That would be great! Maybe our Y/n can play a little something for you since you're so invested in her. Isn't that right, Y/n— ow!" He yelps at the harsh pinch of my fingers on his face. I sharply turn once more, bowing to Suga.

"Thank you. We'll be in music room 3007. Though I doubt I'll make a fool out of myself and perform for you," I say, as a small laugh leaves my lips. "I'll see you then."

"Got it, have yourself a good day."

"Yeah, you as well."

—-

Hello folks! Thanks for coming back to read. I really appreciate it! Please vote for my chapters, I work very hard on them and would love some love :) make sure to get good rest and drink lots of water. Love you♥️♥️

- Sugawara's beauty mark☆

[rosie-x-rose]

Feedback: Sorry this might be too detailed, because I'm bored at the moment.. "I see calm and collected vibes but energetic as well." - This is true, I can be very calm, reserved, and introverted, but at the same time I'm also very passionate and can be energetic. (Ex. Being career oriented/workaholic + future oriented/organizer while also wanting to go skydiving and get drunk + go clubbing.... I know pretty contradicting energies there) "You may be a honest person and value people's honesty more than anything." - Very true. I dislike sugar coating, and tend to want to know the truth even if the truth is harsh. (Except at times I do avoid some truths such as being scared of my final exam grade, but other than school related I always want to know the truth) "You may not always know how to express your affection or feelings but can very much sense other's feelings." - This is somewhat true but in a way as if I don't really like to express my feelings because I'm afraid if I give generously with my love + affection, I won't get it back. I'm a very equal give and take person. So It's more of I'm cautious to who I reveal my true self to. (I have Venus in Capricorn 7th house if this relates) "You may get affected by negative energies sometimes or they just make you sick" - I'm very sensitive to getting influenced (not in trends like aesthetic, I actually don't like following trends lmao, but with energy)

"You may like small and simple jewelry" - Yes, minimalism is a style I really adore. Especially minimalistic watches (Daniel Wellington is a watch brand I love. Their feminine minimalism or black watches are classy and elegant) I also love neutral colors, and hate wild colors such as pink, orange, yellow except red since it's an elegant color. 90% of my wardrobe is black and monochrome. "You may have few friends" "You feel the need to be alone sometimes" - It's intended for me to have a small private social circle. I prefer to have few friends who I'm very close to than a big social group I'm not so close to, since unfortunately not everyone can be authentic. When I'm surrounded by people for too long, I feel drained. (I once had 30 people texting me all at once for a project, and it was very draining. Plus I was the leader so I had to consistently stay on watch) "A mix of flighty and grounded energy" - This is true, at times I can be responsible and also irresponsible. That's why during this period in my life I've been focused on self-development to train self-discipline and change of mindset. ---------------------------------------------------- I'm surprised you didn't mention "big ego" since that's something I notice I have. I actually really hate it, because at times it can be very "out there". (My moon is in Leo) I don't mean to hurt other's feelings, since I genuinely do care. My moon in Leo does help me with being bold and taking action though/being a leader. :) I guess my Sun in Capricorn, grounds that fiery energy. I'm also surprised you didn't mentioned "older than you actually are" vibes, since I get that a lot. Especially for people who I talk with online. They think I'm 7+ years older than I really am (I was an anon once on your blog talking about my Capricorn Mercury, and Saturn in 1st as well as 2nd house)

Thank you for the detailed feedback! I'm glad it resonated. I actually was more focused on the energy and aura so I didn't get much about your personality. Since personality can be so unpredictable, you may sure have a lot of things that I could not catch.

#feedback

[rintoya]

The king of your heart

Kageyama x fem reader x Kunimi

Bold=Flashbacks

The sun shining throughout Miyagi, driving down road is the mini bus with the Karasuno High boy’s volleyball team. They are heading Aoba Josai High school dor a practice match. Everyone on the bus had different emotions Tsukishima didn’t care, Tanaka was pumped up as always, and Hinata was sick in his stomach ready to vomit any second now. Kageyama just staring out the window worrying about his old teammates. He knows his old classmate and him didn’t end on the greatest note. 

“Why aren’t you taking this serious?!?!” a loud voice from an angry Kageyama was heard throughout the gym. The first years were shaking in fear of there senpai  while while the third years were starting to get aggravated by his constant criticism about the way they play. Kunimi looking at the time he knows that Kageyama has to be somewhere. “Um...Kageyama it’s getting a bit late-” “We just started practice and hour ago, what’s important?” Kunimi shaking saying never mind and went to his phone to send a quick message to someone.

Kageyama was then brought back to reality when he heard Tanaka shouting. Everyone on the bus turned around the see vomit on Tanaka’s pants. After everyone calmed down the bus pulled up to Aoba Johsai, everyone getting out of the bus Tanaka led Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Kageyama around the school when they heard someone speak negatively about Karasuno. Tanako poked his head around the corner with a scary face, to be faced with Yahaba and Kindaichi. The rest of the group walked around the corner giving off a terrifying aura scaring Kindaichi and Yahaba, right when Tanaka was about to snap at them a female voice was heard. “Yuu-kun?” “Yahaba-Senpai??” The groups of boys all turned to see a girl with big e/c eyes with long beautiful h/c hair in the Aoba Josai’s girl school uniform. Kageyama’s eyes widen at the familiar silhouette approaching.

“Tobio-San” a girl with short h/c hair and with big e/c eyes, said with a dark blush covering her cheeks. With a gentle smile Kageyama gently hugged her. “Y/n-chan, how was your day/” Her snuggling into him with a warm feeling spreading throughout her body. “My day was great.” Her deciding it’s the perfect time to tell Kageyama something important, how she actually feels. Y/n had a crush on Kageyama since there first year of Junior high, they are now starting their 3 year at Kitagawa. “Tobio can I tell you something?” “Sure, what is it??” Taking a deep breathe Y/n spoke “Kageyama Tobio, I have feelings for you and I was wondering you would like to go on a date with me?” With a small smile Kageyama nodded his head and agrees. That was the start of the relation ship between the two teens.

“W-what’s going on here?” Y/n tried to sound serious but the height difference between her and the guys it quit intimidating. Stepping in front of her friends she stares at Tanaka with an angry expression. Daichi came to grab the boys before they cause any trouble. Kindaichi decided to speak “So, your Majesty finally whipped his new royal subjects into shape?” Kageyama looks at Y/n but she is scrolling through her phone. Kageyama then with a blank just responded with an uh uh. Y/n walked past the group to head to the gym and find a spot at the bleachers. The rest of the boys arrived and they started warming up, kageyama looks at the stands and he see’s y/n,Kageyama remembers how she always loved watching the boys volleyball team play. 

The boys in Kitagawa were cheering for there win against Yukigoaka, a young y/n went over to congratulate them and too also check on her best friend. She was worried for Kunimi because she thought he injured himself when he digged for the volleyball. She found Kunimi, so she went over and wrapped her arms around him in a gentle hug. “Nice job out there, you did amazing...” “Thank you n/n. I’m glad you could make it.” She released the hug and gave him a big smile. “I never miss one of your games Akira, which reminds me are you ok?? You aren’t hurt?” Chuckling softly he booped her nose, “I’m fine y/n, don’t worry about me.” The two walking back Y/n saw Kageyama, he turn to look at the the two. Y/n lifting her hand to wave and prepare to walk over to him. Kageyama just brushed past her saying he is going to do some extra practicing, “Y/n...if you want? We can have a sleepover.” Smiling at the idea she grabs Kunimi’s hand and they leave the arena.

Y/n was reading a book under the cherry tree near the boy’s volleyball gym, waiting for Kageyama to leave practice early so he can go on a date with her. Y/n hoping he won’t forget another date this time, Kageyama missed multiple dates and it seems to Y/n that he is growing distant. Expressing how she feels Kageyama promised to take her on a date. Checking the time again, tears started to fall from y/n’s eyes. ‘He’s late again...’ Filled with so much emotion Y/n fell asleep under the tree. Practice has just ended and Kunimi was the first to leave the gym when he saw y/n asleep under the tree. Shocked he sped walked over to her, gathering her school bag Kunimi picked up y/n bridal style to take her home safely. Kageyama walks out of the gym to see his girlfriend in his teammates arms, and he saw red. “Why are you holding my girlfriend?” “Tsk, I’m taking her home. It’s getting late and I didn’t want her to be here alone.” “Why was she-” “Out here? Maybe because you promised to go on a date with her? She was crying, do you realize you were the reason she was crying? How you’re not giving her the right love and affection she deserves?? NO!! You only care about yourself and not about her.” Kunimi walks away holding y/n more closer to him leaving a shocked Kageyama there staring at nothing.

The match between the two schools have begun and Aoba Josai was in the lead because of the mess ups Hinata caused because of his nerves. Kageyama getting angry grabbed him by the shirt and yelled. “Come on!! Stop being a nervous wreck or I’ll kill you.” Kindaichi and Kunimi on the other side weren’t surprised about his outburst. “Well won’t you look at that,huh” Kunimi scoffs “He hasn’t changed a bit.” Y/n just rolled her eyes and looked and Kunimi who was looking at her, smiling she gave him wink which caused the boy to trying to hide his blush. It was Hinata’s turn to serve, the whistle blow and it startled Hinata who accidentally spiked the volleyball at Kageyama’s head. Tanaka and Tsukishima suddenly burst into laughter but what caught his attention was a familiar laugh. Looking from the corner of his eye he see’s y/n laughing, he doesn’t really remember when was the last time she laughed when they were together.

Today is Y/n’s birthday and Kageyama promised to spend the day with her. Finishing the last touch ups to her appearance, y/n was ready for this special day with her boyfriend. Waiting in the living room 20 minutes have past, then another 30 minutes past until Kageyama was officially 2 hours late. Not answering any of her texts, Y/n grabbed her bag and her keys and left the house. She walked across the street and knocked on the door, with a hopeful look when Kunimi opened the door. “Let me guess, he didn’t show up.” Looking at her eyes seeing tears threatening to fall, Kunimi grabbed her by the waist and hugged her. “If you want? We can spend the day together doing whatever you want.” “I would love that Akira.” Kunimi gets ready to head out and once he was ready they left the house to spend the rest of the day together. Y/n didn’t even think of Kageyama once.

“Tobio we need to talk.” “I can’t right now. I’m late for practice.” Y/n had enough, this isn’t the Kageyama she fell in love with. “Tobio Kageyama. Your practice starts in an hour, we need to talk this is important.” “What is it” Shaking because of her mixed emotions of anger and upset, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Kageyama maybe we should-” “Break up” Y/n looks up at him, “Huh?” “Tsk ok then Bye” Kageyama turns around to leave the girl in the hallway. Kageyama just arrived in the gym when all of the sudden he was pushed to the ground. Looking up to see an Angry Kunimi grabbing him by the shirt. “DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU’VE DID” “LET ME GO!!” Kunimi punching Kageyama in the face twice, “You don’t fucking deserve her love” Kunimi pushing Kageyama to the ground left him alone to go look for Y/n.

During the 2nd set Oikawa arrived, wanting the team to win coach decided to switch Oikawa and Kunimi. Kunimi went up to where you were at, to watch the remainder of the game with you. When Oikawa spiked a ball straight to Tsukishima the ball flew in the direction the two were at. Before the ball hit the railing Kunimi quickly grabbed Y/n by the waist and moved her closer to him. The boys from Aoba Josai cheering Kunimi for his actions like “Nice save lover boy!!’ “Look at Romeo!!” “ Get yo girl Kunimi!!” Those comments didn’t go unnoticed by Kageyama, which got him wondering ‘Is Kunimi and Y/n dating?’

After the break up Y/n and Kunimi refused to leave each others side, Kunimi took y/n on ‘dates’ and y/n got to see a romantic side of Kunimi. Two months after the break up Kunimi tried to show y/n that he can show more love that she deserves then Kageyama can ever do. So he decided it was time to ask her out. Meeting her after school under the cherry tree. “Akira is there something you wanted to tell me?” “Y/n L/n, I've been keeping this a secret.” Looking into her eye Kunimi pulled her into a hug, “I’m in love with you and I know this might ruin our friendship but I-” Kunimi was interrupted when Y/n pulled him into a kiss, pulling away with a beet red face Y/n looked at him with so much love. “I return your feelings Akira” “So your my girlfriend...” Nodding her head yes responded with “Yes, and your my boyfriend.” The two just staying there holding on to each other happy they have one another.

The practice match came to an end with Karasuno winning. Kageyama was walking around the halls when he ran into y/n. Y/n saw him so she stopped to congratulate him. “Nice job out there King.” “Um...Thank you.” Kageyama wanted to confirm that one question, “L/n. Are you and Kunimi-’’ “Together? Yeah we are.” Kageyama tensed when she said it, “For how long??” “A few months now, i’m sorry but I got to look for Akira.” Y/n walking away from sight Kageyama walked to join the rest of the Karasuno team. The team kept walking towards the gates after Oikawa confronted them when they heard that familiar laugh. All of them turning to see Y/n and Kunimi walk past them without a care in the world. It was obvious how the love between the two is strong. Sugawara sighs fondly and says “Aw, young love.” Kageyama looks at the two of them feeling his world falling apart, seeing how Kunimi leans into to give you a gentle kiss. That made Kageyama realize one of the most painful things in his world. 

‘I lost her..’

‘I’m no longer in her heart. Those two love each other, she is his queen.’

‘While...he is her king. The king to her heart.’

#kageyama #kageyama tobio #kunimi akira #haikyuu!! #aoba jōsai #karasuno

[kali-tmblr]

Problematic Atlas Quotes: Volumes 1-3

All of the places on Remnant put together have not produced as many jarring incongruities and mixed messages as Atlas. These are all quotes relating to Atlas that really stood out to me at the time and have stayed with me since.

Volume 1

Penny: I am combat ready! (Yeah, but are you ready for anything else? And who would send out a cute girl robot who was ONLY ready for combat?)

Weiss: The innocent never run, Yang! (Karmic law says that one will come back to bite your ass, Weiss.)

Penny: I don't have a lot of friends, but if I did, I would want them to talk to me about things. (We haven't seen this one come back around to Penny yet. Blake, yes. Penny, no.)

Volume 2

Ironwood: But ask yourself this: Do you honestly believe your children can win a war?

Ozpin: I hope they never have to. (Note that Ozpin believes they can. It's having to fight he considers a failure. Later revelations would make his view even more tragic.)

Ruby: But why not let us know you were okay?

Penny: I... was asked not to talk to you. Or Weiss. Or Blake. Or Yang. Anybody, really.

Ruby: Was your dad that upset?

Penny: No, it wasn't my father... (Ironwood speaks next. An early sign of Ironwood's controlling nature.)

Penny: I'm the world's first synthetic person capable of generating an Aura. (Tell me more.)

Penny: One day, it will be my job to save the world (The whole world? Seriously, tell me more.)

Penny: It's okay, Ruby. They're not bad people; I just don't want to get you in trouble. (And why would talking to you get Ruby in trouble? And why send her to a festival that encourages students to talk to each other if you won't let her talk?)

Penny: Just promise me you won't tell anyone else my secret. Okay?

Ruby: I promise.(If she HAD told Pyrrha, the whole debacle might not have happened. Will this come up again?)

Roman: As some of you may have heard, this right here... (Taps the giant mech) ...is Atlas's newest defense against all the scary things in the world. And thanks to my "employer", we've managed to snag a few before they, uh, "hit the shelves".  (Damn, Atlas, y'all got a lot worse security problems than Ruby.)

(The image of Penny dancing by herself at the ball surrounded by uniformed guards. Say what?)

Ironwood: Ruby, I feel it's appropriate to let you know that I think what you did last night is exactly what being a Huntress is all about. You recognized a threat. You took action. And you did the very best you could. (Ah well, that's nice. Doesn't entirely fit in with the rest of your character James, but it's nice.)

Ruby: Wait. You think this girl is connected to Torchwick and the White Fang?

Ozpin: It's possible. But we still lack the required evidence to link the two together.

Ruby: Actually, I... I think I remember her saying something about a hideout, or something, in the southeast. Just outside the Kingdom.

Ozpin: Interesting.

Glynda: I thought you said the intruder never—

Ozpin: Thank you for your cooperation, Ruby. Why don't you go and spend some time with your team? You have a big day ahead of you.

Ruby: Any time.

Ozpin: And Miss Rose, please try and be ... discreet about this matter.

Ruby: Yes sir. (This tells Ironwood several things. It tells him that Ruby will lie for Ozpin, that Ozpin will cover up Ruby's lie to protect her, and most importantly that Ruby and Ozpin TRUST EACH OTHER.)

Glynda: Why must your answer to everything involve a triumphant display of military bravado!? You treat every situation like it's a contest of measuring di—!

Ozpin: Glynda!

Glynda: Well, he does. (Tell me more, Glynda.)

Ozpin: You're a general, James. So tell me, when you prepare to go to war, which do you send in first? The flag bearers, or the scouts? (Why is a civilian Headmaster schooling a general with a lesson taught to greenhorn Lieutenants? And why does he have to?)

Ozpin:  We fought for countless reasons, one of which being the destruction of all forms of art and self-expression. (SOME kingdom has control issues.)

Glynda: You're a good person, James. You've always done what you think is best for the people, even against strong protest. It's admirable. But it's high time you stopped talking about trust and started showing it. (So Ironwood's trust issues are not new. Tell me more.)

Councilman 1: You've left us no choice! The Vytal Festival tournament cannot be broadcast, let alone held, if we are unable to ensure the safety of the citizens.

Councilman 1: Ahem... Therefore, we have reached out to the Atlas Council and together have decided that the best action is to appoint General Ironwood as head of security for the event.

Ironwood: Thank you, Councilman. Our Kingdom is happy to lend as many troops as it takes to ensure that the event runs smoothly and safely as possible.

Councilman 1: And we thank you, General.

Ozpin: Will that be all?

Councilman 1: For now. But after this festival comes to a close, we are going to have a serious discussion about your position at Beacon Academy. General Ironwood's reports over the last few weeks have left us somewhat... concerned. I am sure you understand.

Ironwood: This is the right move, Ozpin. I promise, I will keep our people safe, you have to trust me.(Damn dude, what did Glynda just say about trusting people? And why do you expect Ozpin to trust you when you clearly have tattled behind his back?)

Ironwood: You brought this on yourself. (Yeah, he did. By trusting you.)

Volume 3

I have already written a detailed post on the vast discrepancies between how Winter Schnee behaves and what she is trying to convey in her first scenes, titled "Snowbirds of a Feather". Suffice to say Ironwood isn't the only Atlesian sending mixed messages.

Ironwood: If you were one of my men, I would have you shot!

Qrow: If I was one of your men, I'd shoot myself.(So y'all have an acrimonious history as well. Okay.)

Goodwitch: While I wouldn't condone his behavior, retaliating like you did certainly didn't help the situation. ("Call yourself a grown-up? I've seen better behavior from first-year students! Why do I even have to say anything to you? Don't answer that.")

Qrow: You sent me to get intel on our enemy, and I'm telling you, our enemy is here.

Ironwood: We know.

Qrow: Oh! Oh, you know! Well, thank goodness I'm out there risking my life to keep you all informed!

Ironwood:Qrow-

Qrow: Communication's a two-way street, pal. You see this? That's the SEND button.

Winter: They had reason to assume you'd been compromised. (So, Ironwood, explain to me WHY, if you seriously think Qrow has been compromised, you haven't brought it up with HIS BOSS before now? Isn't that information kind of important?)

Qrow: Despite what the world thinks, we're not just teachers, or generals, or headmasters. The people in this room, the leaders of the other two academies, we're the ones that keep the world safe from the evils no one even knows about! It's why we meet behind closed doors, why we work in the shadows. So you tell me, James, when you brought your army to Vale, did you think you were being discreet, or did you just not give a damn!?

Ironwood: Discreet wasn't working. (Explain.)

 I'm here because this is what was necessary. (Explain.)

Qrow: You're here because Ozpin wanted you here! (Is it just me, or does anyone else think this sounds like it was an unpopular decision?)

Ciel: Ruby Rose. 15. Hails from Patch. Leader of Team RWBY. Status: Questionable. (Daaaammmn son. We need to talk. You ordered a full background check on a teenage girl just because she talked to your android? And then you gave it to your android's handler? And on top of all that, a gifted honor student from a multigenerational Huntsmen family who leads Beacon's first-year star team, who Ozpin clearly trusts, only rates as "Questionable"? Who doesn't rate as "Questionable"? Oh that's right. Qrow is also "Questionable", and so is Ozpin. Tell me, do you rate yourself as "Questionable"?)

Ciel: Penny? I believe it is best if we move on to our next location.

Penny: Could we have just a minute to talk? (No seriously, is Penny now not allowed any free time?)

Ciel: It's been precisely one minute, ma'am.(Apparently not.)

Penny: Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I want to stay at Beacon.

Ruby: Penny, they'll never let you do that.

Penny: I know, but I have a plan.(Tell me more.)

Yang: You're from Atlas. What could we expect?

Weiss: Well, seeing as their Kingdom, academy and armed forces are all merged as one, I think we can expect strict, militant fighters with advanced technology and carefully rehearsed strategies.  ... Or whatever they are.(So even other Atlesians think Atlesians send mixed messages.)

Ironwood: For the past few years, Atlas has been studying Aura from a more scientific standpoint; how it works, what's it made of, how it can be used. We've made... significant strides. And we believe we've found a way to capture it.

Qrow: Capture it and cram it into something else. (Dude, exactly WHERE did Penny's Aura come from?)

Ironwood: What I believe and hope this to be is nothing more than the result of stress and adrenaline. When you're out on the battlefield, your judgment can become clouded in an instant. Sometimes you see things that simply aren't there. Even after the fight is past... (That answers that question. You don't trust yourself either. What happened to you?)

Ironwood: Ozpin, the girl... I-I can explain! (You've got a full scale Grimm invasion going on and you're more terrified of OZPIN? What did you do to create Penny, James? How ELSE have you betrayed Oz?)

Ironwood: Qrow! This isn't my doing! (Why did you automatically assume Qrow is attacking you instead of looking behind you? Guilt?)

This post is long enough already, so I'll finish later. While I may be overreacting to some of these statements, that doesn't explain all of them. It's looked from the beginning like there was something fishy going on in Atlas, especially having to do with Ironwood.

#rwby #penny polendina #rwby ruby rose #james ironwood #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #ozpin #glynda goodwitch #ciel soleil