#i'm not going to doom myself!

[heroes-fading]

tumblr did eat this but as a wise poet once said “honey i rose up from the dead i do it all the time”

so i feel like i have been slowly entertaining in the back of my head for a year or two now the idea of writing again. it started with like, writing bad poetry in journals. i’ve been consuming media, but in a lot more of a disconnected way. engagement was like, reading reddit and twitter threads for a day and putting it back down. then episode 8 happened, and i was like FUCK i’m unglued.

to put in perspective what kind of shit i was up to in high school: i wrote half a million words of like...once upon a time fanfiction. and in that i found lots of lovely connections to people but amidst a sea of other factors: being a literal teenager who still thought i could be the smartest person in the room (spoiler: never), having no real social net outside of the internet (and i will say my internet friends -- many of whom i still love and talk to today -- got me through some of the WORST times of my life), and having a very fragile ego. probably related to points a and b. everything felt like the biggest thing in the world because my world did not feel very big.

now i look back at it like...holy shit you wrote a goddamn novel. who cares if it was like, literature or not? 

to be honest one of the things that got through to me was this cj the x video, especially their point which i’ll recap here:

“We are under the impression that art is something special people do, and to do it well makes you a genius, and to do it poorly is embarrassing. This sectioning off of the art world for artists from regular life and regular people is completely artificial and it is bad for the soul of your society.”

and they talk a bti about the Terrifying Ordeal of Being Known and perfectionism and just the amount of fuccccckin mental blocks we put around what’s good art and bad art and we spend so much time agonizing over what’s good and what’s cringe and you know what? embrace cringe! who cares! none of us will live forever!!! sharing art is the way we sustain ourselves in the long run.

i always have an internal voice saying something’s not good enough. i’m Always like “damn, these metrics ain’t metricing like they were earlier...” and then i’m like fuck...am i doing this for the Idea of Fandom Success or because of my fun silly lil hobby? my fun silly lil hobby? aight guess i ought to just embrace the Terrifying Ordeal of Being Known and accept that silly lil numbers ain’t what’s fufilling, it’s the practice of writing and sharing and going at the end of the day “at least one person liked this, and being known isn’t the Most Horrific Thing Ever”.

another thing i Never did when i was a teenager is tell anyone i wrote fic in real life. now my husband and friend and sister-in-law know (the latter involved either alcohol or being confined to a plane, which is a lot like alcohol) and you know how much they think i’m embarassing? they don’t. oh and actually a co-worker. they just go “lol, this is My thing” and it’s a novel they tried to write in college or fanart they post on a secret instagram or a monsters inc page they ran in high school (all real examples) because everyone has some kind of thing they care about, some artistic expression, and we’ve conditioned people to think trying is embarassing. trying is vulnerable and the point, i think! no matter how cringe! 

and vulnerability is this awfully stingy thing because sometimes when you think about it for too long it’s not unlike putting your hand on a hot coal. like, fuck, laying awake at night knowing that people know You Tried and what if they still didn’t like it? humiliating. awful. please schedule me with the goddamn firing squad. you didn’t get the metrics you wanted. or worse, you did and now people don’t think you deserve it. they’re gonna find out you’re just a big fanfiction writing fraud.

but maybe that’s the point! i don’t know! vulnerability is hard and painful and growth and sincerety is almost WORSE. but there’s also something lovely and cathartic about it and at the end of the day knowing that other people feel that, too. can never get too lost in either sauces of thinking you’re the worst thing ever or the best and the only one who gets it. just gotta accept the vulnerability of it all~

i’m back in my daydreaming era, i think fic gave that back to me. i shut her off for a little while, but she’s still there! and it’s not the worst thing, having overwhelming creative ideas on the treadmill or in a hotel lobby or furiously writing in a google doc in the middle of the night even if it does feel Silly. sometimes it does make the world a little more magical, framing in a narrative. 

(my therapist at some point has made comments about my narrative framing skills in the context of my life and getting out of a shitty family situation with a lot of embedded generational cyclical fun stuff to a point i have a lot of the things now i used to dream about despite it, my pathological need to write my way out also applying to my life and maybe it’s not the worst way of moving a locus of control inwards. i used to dream about feeling safe and being respected interpersonally and professionally because it’s something no woman in my family ever really got and i get that now. anyway, as i said, radical vulnerability!)

narratives are powerful and meaningful and art is too, i don’t care if it’s fanfiction at the end of the day! we’ve all felt something or gptten something or felt community and that’s meaningful enough. 

this is a very long-winded and frankly chaotic way of saying sure, i’m a writer enough!

#fic talk #and talk and talk............. #i have a job i love that fufills what i want to Do and Be but also i will always love writing so much #and to get to do that in space where i get feedback and community #at the end of the day when i'm hittin #g that lil refresh button for a dopamine hit because social media has broken our brains #i do take a deep breath and be like #oh cool #i did that #and the more we police that feeling or worse misplace it the harder it gets to the Point #of just doing shit for the sake of it and having a good time! #don't get sucked into all the other shit #i think a big turning point in my life honestly #was being in the car after having the worst fucking day of my life or second worse #after a really terrible situation with my mom #and i was in a goddamn target with a radically different hair color in my hands #and after that i was like #i'm not doing this to myself! #i'm not going to doom myself! #i'm going to listen to some goddamn kelly clarkson #because of you LEGENDS ONLY #and live for myself here and build my own existence #i literally found old journal entries to myself saying something to the idea of this #and then i interned at my current job and met my husband and slept on the floor of people i still love and am friends with today #and this isn't fic but #NARRATIVE #and what i was and wasn't going to do #and i read that a year or two ago and just bawled my eyes out #because she did that :') #and that's the power of building something for yourself and owning your own lil narrative even if sometimes it's just lil fanfic

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

.

#i'm getting an impending sense of doom that i'm going to be outed as queer soon to my mom #idk why but that's just the feeling i'm getting and usually my Dread Feelings are correct so that's very scary #it also could just be cause this is my first time having a queer partner who isn't long distance and is also out very publicly #like i can't even talk about them in a vague way without outing myself #and i'm spending time with my mom this weekend so unfortunately now would be the time for this prediction to come true #it's not necessarily a life shattering thing but it would be shitty if it did happen #so please pray or manifest or whatever other thing you do that if this does happen then it can go smoothly #cause this could go south real fast #personal

[sisterdanielstits]

it's giving 2009

they need to shut up

#i got the notif and thought to myself #if that's a reply to phil i'm going to scream #dan and phil #amazingphil #dnp #phil lester #dan howell #wad #daniel howell #we're all doomed

[dukeofqueers]

Ser Fel, the Chimera Knight or Unmoored Knight

i love my arisen who was so cringe and fail that he got removed from his own world. get ratio’d by the Endless Cycle idiot

Thora, the other Arisen in the nihilism meme belongs to @missszena​ <3

in game featuring his pawn Leoris

#dragon's dogma #dragon's dogma dark arisen #ddda #fanart #sketch #art #artists on tumblr #ddda arisen #dragon's dogma oc #my art #screenshots are a bit outdated he has the diabolic shield now. i grinded for this bitch #fel isn't from gransys but don't ask me for names i'm entrusting the sequel to give us more world lore #he defeated his dragon but didn't kill it and got fucked over when he was lured to bitterblack. got lost there and was displaced entirely #thora is the one who stumbled on him and he's wound up in her world but hasn't managed to get back to his #he goes back to bitterblack after witnessing this cycle gets lost and turns into a living armor #note to the cycle maybe next time don't pick the depressed jaded knight as ur arisen. bro couldn't even be arsed to finish his quest #i think often about the lack of mystic knights and most of them appearing as undead. inherently doomed vocation or whatever #anyway i'm terrible at finishing any art for fel sry #i'm gonna go make myself emo over fel's relationship with leoris now. see you whenever

[jyou-no-sonoko19]

(self-)defence mechanism

#Michelle Gomez #Doom Patrol #Doom Patrol spoilers #Laura De Mille #Madame Rouge #Ngl the cattish grin made my skin try to turn inside out and/or remove itself entirely #And the crow's feet??? I want her to tear my face off #no I won't even censor that #But also she's doing her best and Eyebrows!Laura could have `approached this so much more effectively #If she'd only chilled with the accusations of immorality #and taken one moment to meet her then-self where she was at #like... she knew what 40s!Laura was going through. #It wasn't that long ago for her at all #I'm just imagining going back in time to myself a decade ago #and yelling at her for all the stuff she hadn't figured out about herself and life yet #just like... the cruelty of it achieves nothing #except a whole new kind of self-loathing #See more in the following set of this convo

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

#asks #twdg louis #twdg minerva #twdg clementine #twdg violet #twdg marlon #twdg tenn #honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??' #then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha #also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore #like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it #not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed #for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there #it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like... #that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly #also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but #I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did #like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite #anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good #i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw #like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit #and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification #and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go #he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down #'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m #it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay #this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about #even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks #that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you

[damnation-if]

on today's episode of Hashing Out Concepts Theatre, i spent a while today while waiting for my new fridge/freezer to be installed after my previous one died and i lost all my food hashing out a bunch of concepts for another game idea i have. (rest assured i'm not actually working on it as a game yet i just like to bash out a framework for things every now and then to make my brain do happy chemicals lmao)

putting all of this stuff under a cut since it's a bunch of images and also in case people aren't interested XD

i am regrettably a huge fan of comic books (mostly DC) and i've seen a couple of comic book inspired IFs popping up lately, though when it comes to my own interest, i'm definitely more into a straight interpretation of a comic book universe than a more. the boys-style universe - i'm into the camp lol, not so much the grim and gritty stuff. (though that's just my own personal preference)

anyway the idea behind That's Just Super is something that i really like about certain comics - giving the villains more of a purpose and rounded existence than just existing to be in somebody's rogue's gallery. the joker's angry defence of the batfamily from various other DC evil forces, lex luthor's furious resistance against brainiac alongside superman because it's His planet, damn it, DOOM throwing in with the heroes in every second marvel event comic... i really like stories where villains and evil characters don't always make the Most Evil choice just Because, but have clear and explainable motivations that sometimes bring them into what we'd consider a 'good' alignment because unlike in d&d, there's no real such thing as a concrete moral alignment.

(this is my banner design for it)

the basic idea is that an inexplicable cosmic event removes all of the superheroes from the planet, leaving it vulnerable to attack by evil mindflayer style aliens - unless the supervillains who remain are able to band together despite their more unpredictable, less cooperative natures and save the planet in the heroes' absence. after all... if aliens take over the earth, the villains can't take it over themselves.

here's my fun little UI design idea lmao...

the other major thing about That's Just Super that i've been hashing out is the pc. the basic idea is that you pick your villain identity from a list but you get to customise their like. birth name and secret identity, while the villain identity comes with its own name, costume, and set history (including occasionally past romantic encounters). i like playing around with the way that IF works with the idea of mcs and customisable mcs so i just thought it'd be a fun twist... it also allows me to create nice drama by having set occurrences in the past lol.

so i did some profiles for the nine villain options - three each of the DC triad of tech/metahuman/magic origin. they're all based on a specific kind of villain archetype, and i really tried to limit myself to ones where i could definitely pin down more than one specific influence so it didn't end up like me just making too many analogues haha... even if some of the influences are probably pretty obvious.

weirdly i haven't even Thought about ROs yet since i've been so focussed on the pc... maybe i'll play around with the partially set background idea even more and only have 1 possible RO for each villain choice or something. maybe a couple that you can romance as anybody... not sure. (talionis could definitely have a messy broken romance with his superhero for example)

apologies that readability isn't great but these are mostly just made for me lmao

#posts from the mortal world #dc give me a job writing for you please... jk i'm not moving to the us (not that they'd have me anyway) #long post. #i think i'm so funny for that joke of labelling the reset button a joke about time manipulation lmfao #but isn't that perfectly on the nose for a comic book themed IF?? that's what i tell myself anyway #absolutely Could Not Stand the infinity saga honestly. for Many reasons. #but in regards to this stuff in particular. every villain just threw in with thanos or immediately got killed off... boring!!!! #the only person who is allowed to be Interesting is loki apparently #and the fact that they cut. Doom holding the gauntlet with all the fucking gems on it for as long as he did from the story??? Crime #All of the crimes. go to Story Jail marvel. doom will get his just rewards for you screwing him over like that some day!!!! doom is!!!!!!!! #man also just yesterday i was thinking to myself that i Need to reread in blackest night and i So do. i'm such a lantern girlie... #that's right i like d&d i like m:tg and i like comic books. bow before my supreme embarrassing taste #it has been a Chaotic couple of days if you can't tell. i haven't slept nearly enough and i. Cried when all my food got spoiled #at least the new fridge works fine so far though...

[pocketramblr]

8. but i wore his jacket for the longest time.

As the nuisance who had one been a King's Wit faded away, Nomad drew his jacket more around himself. Though the long cut the planet and it's former Threnodites seemed to favor was better for the weather, he found himself wishing for a moment for something shorter, stiffer, and blue.

Foolish. He'd thought of Kal, a moment ago, and now that crack was growing in the rain.

Kaladin Stormblessed. But the storms on Roshar brought no good fortune, and Nomad doubted it would be different here. Still... In the rain, it was easier to slip back. Think of the early mornings in the war camps. Nomad was so very old, and had been so very young then, but his memory of that had never faded.

He remembered, before Auxiliary. Before any fifth ideals. The fourth one. The fourth bridge. Kaladin had been there, had shouted just as Ishtar moved behind Nomad. Then he'd been wrapped in Kaladin's living armor and realized what to do. Then she'd accepted his words, formed his own armor.

He'd given that up. Along with his second set. And still now, in the rain, Nomad had thought of wanting a blue jacket instead of invested plate. So foolish.

So tired.

But then, when things had started going wrong- if Nomad didn't start tracing that from leaving his home after the failed exams, of course- when things had started going wrong, he'd lost sight of Kal and fallen and then he awoke to Renarin's light and the captain's coat tucked around him.

Nomad should have returned that jacket. To the quartermaster, if not to Kal. Instead it stayed with his things, carefully washed and mended, but never worn.

He hadn't put it on again until his former teacher had shoved him into the seas of Shadesmar and warned him to run and never stop. It had just been the first, the only, jacket he'd been able to grab.

But once he put it on, he hadn't really been able to take it off. It was like thinking of Kal, in that way. He'd worn out on dozens of planets, for dozens of years.

And then it had been destroyed. Nomad had recently had a particularly bad string of his clothes being destroyed in the last day, but even without that, clothes didn't last forever.

Neither did men, yet here Nomad was.

Standing in the rain in a city he couldn't save, on a planet he couldn't escape from.

He glanced up at the sky. Clouds kept him from seeing the ones who chased him. But they were there.

Nomad shook his head and wiped the rain from his face, moving back inside. No time to stop and think. No time to wish for an old jacket. Kaladin would have told him to get moving, anyway.

#just a little sigkal fun. haha. oh there's some narrative doing some dooming and ah ha ha...... I'm afraid #pocket talks to people #anon #ask game #do i have to tag like. sunlit man spoilers. this was in the preview chapters by i mean i didn't look at that early so #the sunlit man #ok now i have to go and grade another class before i let myself answer another one..... grumble grumble

[writeouswriter]

Me: *Has written plenty of great opening scenes that I'm actually quite fond of*

Also me when trying to write a new opening scene for a new project: I have never written an opening scene in my life, what's an opening scene any more, has there ever truly been an opening scene to anything, there is no beginning, so there is no end, there is no one out there watching over this monstrosity, I am in the void, my mind is adrift, how do I open this scene without a key, where did I leave my keys??

#writeblr #writing #writer things #relatable #text post #i am struggling to write the opening to this one possible project i'm still lying to myself over the idea of working on it for nano #i don't really know where i want this guy to be when we're introduced to him #at first i was thinking mid heist gone wrong or something but it doesn't quite click and would require extraneous characters #then i was thinking retired from doing heists just going about his day when dragged back in but iffy on that as well #cuz how much of the character and vibe does it really show i want a good and not necessarily memorable but semi impactful 1st impression #i don't really know and i'm a very has to write in chronological order writer when doing these things #i mean in theory i can write random out of context scenes but in practice they're never getting put back into context if i do that #they're doomed to float forever until i find out how to chronologically do the rest so anyway #yeah need an opening if I want to make some writing dent at all but also feel like the pressure of perfectionism #which is hard to tamp down no matter how hard one tries so perfect opening when come on daydreams step up

[zevrans]

the distractions aren't distracting man..

#due to some bad irl personal stuff i've had this sense of impending doom since mid january.. #ever since i've been trying to strongly dissociate from what's going on around me and distract myself even more than usual #but the closer the certain date the harder it gets to escape the thoughts and i'm just so exhausted..

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[starsandthorn]

really was feeling soo bad about not being able to write shit these past few days then bam. 2000 words of doomed yuri

#personal stuff #delete later #for clarification. i'm the one who doomed them. they're my ocs. idk why they suddenly took over my brain in the span of one day #and they've been there ever since #LIKE. HEAD IN HANDS. #i told myself naah these characters don't exist in my head outside of this one story i'm going to tell #then bam 2000 words of lesbians. HUH. #wait it's more like 1900 words of lesbians. 100 words of brother screentime #but yeah 4tw is telling me i wrote 4000 words today. just editing them. crazy. #OH and also the other teeny project. but mostly the tragic yuri #had to make a whole new section titled ''character study'' for this project because. apparently i needed that <3 #this will give me a better understanding of the characters i'm writing i tell myself. about two characters who don't speak on screen

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

this paper isn't done but i sure am

#breaking news: girl decides she's doomed but will probably be fine after she gets 8 hours of sleep #time to go cry in mr. teacher dad's office again #no way am i going to finish this before the deadline #but like i'm done technically i just need to do a deep edit of it and i can't bring myself to #it's fine we're fine everything's going to be fine #rant #rambles

[t3r4t0m4]

offering my hand out very slowly going pspspsps and slow blinking trying to become mutuals with all the munch enjoyers

#blabble #txt #follow me on ig if you REALLY wanna see me go crazy lver him #follow me on ig if you wanna see me active...like ever #sorry im not on tumblr a whole lot I'm a gen z with a short attention span #i need my get my at least 2 hours of doom scrolling The Horrors before i give myself even a taste of salvation and peace #(reading think pieces of about a vessel of god in the shape of a genderfluid middle age man) #begging to be mutuals is cringe but you all are so incredibly cool pls

[gumioe]

marcille being a traditionalist republican who is so repressed she doesn't even know she's gay is my favorite interpretation of her. "i sure wish falin was a guy so i could marry her! too bad girls can't marry other girls it's wrong! if girls COULD marry other girls i would totally marry falin but oh well!"

#shut up boo #'yes i performed dark blood magic and corrupted myself and doomed the world for falin's sake but only bc she is my BESTIE!' #'i'm going to marry a MAN btw! i love men!!!!' *ideal man is a comphet kdrama lead with no resemblance to actual men*

[lordgrimwing]

Watch out: I have it on good authority that I'm slaying rn

#almost caught up on my current podfic project #24 minutes of audio to edit #then i can look into starting another project while waiting for new chapters of the current story to get posted #already have my eye on a sweet little thing #(lied about the little part) #it's even longer than my current project and also still in progress #i swear i'm going to doom myself to working only on 20 hour podfics #just wait. i'll basically have made two audio books by the time i finish grad school #jk i know i won't be able to do very much podficing during clinical year #but 'to partake' is calling to me #grimwing gripes