#i'm just stupid atp

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

why do I get upset about little things

#i'm just stupid atp #it doesn't even matter that much but now they're trying to fix it for me. #why do they do that #I don't matter

[francy-sketches]

I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life

#.txt #also I have to do a movie pitch for it bitch it's an amv with intentionally one dimensional characters 😭 tf do I even say about it #at least the characters are like. knockoff jaime and tommen so its almost like im drawing asoiaf fanart #unfortunately I've come to hate them. the knockoffs I mean #I wanna change the designs a bit so they dont resemble my blorbos as much. i think im gonna give the kid darker hair #ok well discount jaime just looks like him with 2 hands and a blue cape 💀and I cant change him atp #my worst mistake was giving him like. a solid metal skirt armor thing bc its a pain in the ass to animate #at the start of the year I had the most work done out of everyone how did this happen #its bc they started nitpicking the story and I kinda lost motivation to work on it lke this shit is stupid. and cringe #by they I mean the extra screenwriting teachers we had a couple lessons with which like. this is an animation course not a writing course #I'd get it if it was like. a full time school but we have 2 3 hour classes a week we dont have time for this shit man #ig my mistake was that my idea didn't start from the story it started from the song I wanted to make a cool music video for it #its not that the story is nonsensical or anything its just a very basic fairytale esque thing nothing groundbreaking #'but you're not SAYING anything with this' I'm not trying to omg just let me make my little amv :( #does everything need a plot twist or to subvert expectations is it not enough that it looks cool #there's a couple people who are worse off than me in terms of how much they've done but also theres a couple that are nearly done #looking at them like god I wish that were me..... #and also I think I accidentally overwrote a shot I worked on for 3 hours. killing myself #maybe I can restore a previous version but its on the school computer and the school is closed for a week so im not gonna know until then

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME??? #also it's such a waste of fucking water.... #idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true) #and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here' #like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here??? #but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

[atopvisenyashill]

So I came upon your blog while looking through the asoiaf tag and explored it a bit. Would you please explain to me how are you against Targaryen incest, but find Jonsa fine? I’m genuinely curious, as I’ve just started reading the books (I’m half-way through a storm of swords) and find nothing fine about any form of incest, whether it is or not considered as such in-universe. I also find little to no Jonsa moments. Could you help me? Thank you!

okay so first of all i got sent an ask forever ago about what the appeal of jonsa is and i’ve been working on explaining basically where i see the plot going and why it’s thematically relevant and is2g i’m still actually putting it together it’s just doing that in a middle of a reread is tough bc my ideas are kinda all over the place lmao (just like this ask is about to be sorry!) (also once again, sorry if my tone comes across very weird, i swear i reread like twelve times to make sure i don’t sound too snarky and wasn't just vomitting up a thousand words of nonsense lmao!!).

BUT. Well there’s three points to this: what the characters may feel, what i feel about jonsa, and what i feel about targ incest. so first the characters:

I think it’s important to point out that first cousin marriage (and auncle/nibling marriage, esp if it’s a “half” relation) are not considered true incest in westeros and in many parts of our world. rickard and lyra, ned’s parents, are cousins. joanna and tywin lannister are first cousins. jonnel and sansa and edric and serena are uncle/nieces, and you’ll note that when alys karstark comes to jon for help, he is disgusted that her uncle is trying to steal her inheritance and not that he’s her uncle attempting to marry her. i point this out because not only is there nothing legally stopping a jonsa marriage, the characters themselves may also see it that way (as not incest). and if your next point is “well they grew up thinking they’re siblings” my answer is - yes and? One of the influences on this series is Mervyn Peake, who wrote gothic medieval stories, and both incest and pseudo-incest is very much a big part of gothic stories! A lot of the storylines in this world are dedicated to exploring incest as a force of socialization and romanticism, from Naerys pleading to live “as brother and sister” and Aegon insisting “we already are” to Alysanne’s “Alyssa is meant for Baelon” to Jaime’s “he heard none of it" in the sept. I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to posit that two characters we have POVs for will fall in love and grapple with what that love says about them, about society, about their role in the world - and in fact, about half of Jon’s most popular ships are between him and a female relative. Sansa makes more sense to me because she’s closer to his age than Arya, has a more troubled relationship with him, is involved in the political aspects of the story just as much as he is, and isn’t likely to immediately start setting people on fire after they meet.

Now as for me, basically - i think both types of incest are the result of socialization + extreme trauma, and I fully expect that if Jonsa goes canon it will have a tragic ending. I think Jonsa takes some of the inherent misogyny of targ incest and plays around with it - Jon having significantly less societal privilege than basically every other Targaryen and what that means for Sansa as an heiress - but just because I think an exploration of that dynamic will be interesting, doesn’t mean I don’t expect it to be rife with problems.

because the problem with incest is the power dynamic ultimately, and you cannot escape that power dynamic bc people don’t exist in a vacuum. For all the Starks have some fucked up skeletons in their closet, Lyanna doesn’t show up in Ned’s bed naked and ask him to stop her betrothal to Robert, does she? This is the fundamental difference between targ incest and Jonsa or even Lannicest; Lannicest is rampant with toxicity from both of those deranged weirdos but they feel entitled to each other's bodies because of their own trauma surrounding their tumultuous childhoods (and probably some normalization of incest from their parents and proximity to Aerys/Rhaella/Rhaegar), but no one is saying "Jaime you are owed Cersei's body" or "Cersei your womb belongs to your brother and your brother alone." So I don't feel the need to sit here and go "Lannicest is toxic" like yeah? Clearly, lmao, these two feel like they are so damaged, and made so special by that damage, that they can only love one another, that's not what anyone would call healthy. I don't think it's necessary to sit here and explain that dynamic has abuse problems; it's right there in the text!

"well what about the power dynamic between jon and sansa?" YES WHAT ABOUT IT. that's the point! i'm interested in how a dynamic that is inherently abusive will play out between two people who were raised to believe some types of incest are okay but not others, who are victims of abuse and societal alienation themselves. because at the same time that i condemn targ incest, there are obviously real feelings and genuine care in these relationships and in these people, because again, people don't exist in a vacuum. daemon backs rhaenyra into this corner and then crucially does not kill any of her children because he realizes that's a step too far, she'd never forgive it, perhaps even because he grew to love them (i mean, Lucerys and Joffrey likely barely remember any other father but Daemon!). maegor is a monster who very specifically never harms rhaena's daughters! aemon is a useless pos but it seems likely he had a hand in raising naerys' son to be better than aegon because he could see the harm he and his brother were doing to naerys even if aemon was too much of a coward to actually stop that harm in any meaningful way! the difference, to me, is that jon will see that this relationship built on trauma and grief may be the only love he and sansa will ever allow themselves to feel but it is not healthy for them, and jon will leave! and sansa will realize she is not the impassive, frozen, detached symbol that the men around her want her to be, but a living, breathing person with her own wants and desires and agency, and will let him go!

Ultimately, while i think romanticizing and sexualizing the taboo is fine and even healthy, for me, there has to be some acknowledgement that you are in fact romanticizing the taboo. This is why the shitty dudes in asoiaf work for me in a way shitty dudes outside of asoiaf don’t usually - my general bitching about parts of the narrative that don’t click for me aside, there’s firm condemnation of the people engaging in these behaviors, from cersei sexually abusing lancel to sandor creeping on sansa. just because the narrative also shows us and wants us to feel empathy for sandor and cersei and why they’ve become bad people doesn’t mean what they’re doing isn’t bad. that’s what i like! i don’t want a story that holds my hand and drags me to the moral nor do i want a story that presents a god awful person who is supposed to be morally upright and not mean for us to dig deeper into them!

(this is why i like the pt but not the st of star wars, if you want an example - for all the prequels are um. flawed. lucas has an overreaching story about the effects of war, slavery, and interpersonal abuse that he’s dedicated to, and we are meant to be horrified by anakin choking padme just as surely as we’re meant to mourn their relationship and love for each other when palpatine gleefully tells anakin she’s dead and ani destroys the room in grief. vs like. what were the sequels even fucking doing man).

So the thing here is that I actually do in fact find Targaryen incest interesting while being morally repugnant as a practice, and I'm positive Jonsa will play around with both the morality of incest and the romanticism of it in a way that I find just as interesting, varied, romantic, and fulfilling as like, the Jaime/Cersei(/Brienne/Tyrion) mess or the Daemon/Rhaenyra/Laena/Harwin debacle! I like incest and I also hate it! I contain multitudes!

#asks #anti targaryen #jonsa #stone and snow remains #AND CAVEAT. I LOVE AND RESPECT MY JONSA MOOTS WHO BELIEVE IN HAPPY JONSA. i am not about to play these fandom games #of 'well i'm not like those bad jonsas who only care about their ship' absolutely not. i think happy jonsa atp doesn't make narrative sense #TO ME. but i GET the people who see the path. i'm not about to posit myself as the 'rational jonsa' bc that's stupid. #(not saying anon is doing that but i am saying i see that happen a lot and i think it's annoying!!) #this is just a rant. i am so sorry. i cannot figure out how to cut it down.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Working on an entire doodle page of the girls (that I am still nervous to share too much about but love so much) but I'm actually pretty happy with how these are going so enjoy a sneak peek of them being silly!

#much as i'm still nervous about posting them i also hope people like them too #there is (regrettably) an actual plot for these two; it's just rough atp and i don't have time to work on it #plus i have a million other stupid wips #but anyways #bsd ocs #my art #storyrambles

[starswallowingsea]

god i hate living with my parents. "We're doing this for you. You need to get a job that can pay for your insurance because when you turn 26 you're getting dropped off of ours." I know this. I have known this since I was 16 and it has been looming over my head. I happen to like my summer job though and unfortunately it's hard to find winter seasonal work in a similar field and it's not like the parks are looking for more full time people. I'd love to be the second person in our costuming department just making clothes and helping out with that full time but unfortunately its not in the fucking budget to do that and keep me on as an interpreter. I might see if I can get in there for a winter job and find an apartment though just because living with my parents makes me want to constantly blow something up or throw something. I hate this stupid country and I hate how my parents don't seem to see that I'm just so fucking lost and drowning and I hate that I feel like I can't talk to them about this because they'll just talk down to me instead of trying to help me.

#shay speaks #vent // #eugh i just. they had a 'talk' with me earlier bc i'm 'making a fool of myself at church' #bc i refuse to participate beyond sitting and standing and moving as i need to #like i do not care if i look stupid i genuinely do not give a fuck what people think of me at church #i think they're worried people are gonna start looking down on them bc i'm not participating anymore #i never want anything to do with catholicism ever again please just let me live #i can engage with it at work from an educational and historical lens but i hate hate hate having to go to mass #god. i'm gonna probably see if any of my coworkers this summer are willing to help me out with off season stuff bc im just suffering rn #as soon as i get on my own phone plan i'm just going to block my parents atp i do not want to talk to them ever again #not for a while at least

[alistairlowes]

So what’s the 911 tea?

they cut buck and eddie scenes they used to promo the new episode. and whatever this means <3

oliver was super excited about it and they got them drunk for real for nothing lmfao.

#word on streets also says something else but i have no proof of that #it's been weird is all i'm saying #because we usually get bunch of stills days before & a clip but we got nothing now #also oliver talked a lot about b*ddie in interviews during hiatus #which adds to the fire #because they can now defend themseleves and say it's not queebait but it still is shipbait #they were teasing about the song buck and eddie were suppose to sing until while ago so these are some deff last min changes #like this episode is about the wedding not them at all #i just think they are fucking stupid because atp you should know how fandom will react #i also have a lot of thoughts about the bait deal but if i speak :))) #answered

[spaghett-onaplate]

i mean legally you don't need to isolate anymore here when you have covid (which is stupid) but ethically you absolutely should???

#i fucking hate putting my life on hold but me staying home and not endangering other people is so much more important #than missing some school and work #two friends at my school got covid but they're still going about business as usual bc they're not that sick?? one of them works in FOOD #it's a personal choice atp because there are no laws (SO stupid) but there is a clearly correct personal choice #i would rather miss out on life for a WEEK than assist kill someone's grandma bro #i'm just in shock. how are people so desensitized to covid now??

[pollen]

ok. an agency i interviewed with a couple days ago just scheduled two other interviews with me for tomorrow and monday. screaming!

#it'd be a lateral move of sorts but a title more in line with my career goals #and i'd be making less than i've made since graduating but i truly do not know if i have room to bargain or hope atp #i need to get off reddit it's so doom and gloom about the job market in there and then i'm over here getting an interview a day essentially #idk it's just been so stressful because i haven't been collecting unemployment and i don't have any sort of insurance #because i was denied coverage by the state and also the unemployment office took 3 weeks to answer a question i had about my application #and didn't even answer it and basically called me stupid so. i would love insurance and money to buy food LOL

[m00nj3w3l]

Patiently waiting for the only two ONS mutuals I talk with to reply to my texts so I can go insane because if I do that here publicy I'm gonna break havoc

#owari no seraph #listen ok my opinions usually arent that different from anyone else in the tag but I have one particular one- #-that i always avoided saying directly or skirted around it to not appear like a prick #but in general i'm just upset. idk what i'm even expecting atp it's all so stupid #moon likes to rambletm

[c4nonball]

Yoga is so fun

#I just got through this flow much easier than the last time I remembered doing yoga (which was a couple months ago atp) #which means I'm getting stronger!! #I wish I could incorporate it more into my routine but I can barely squeeze in 2 days of weights + cardio a week #my schedule is stupid

[oikawasassfreckle]

not much on my mind really just the mental imagery of some guy aggressively riding a unicycle and pumping his arms like he's doing an Olympic sprint

#shit post #random shit #random thoughts #random #idk what tags to use #are these the right tags #funny #mental images #stupid shit #stupid #dumb #dumb shit #atp I'm just using whatever automated tags it recommends

[rosesradio]

the espn review for the trilogy shows just how in the gutter some dudes minds get. ralph is either too skinny or they harp on about how ~obese and old~ he is grrrggfhhh /chews pillow

jfsfkjjdf i can't do it anymore. i just.

1.) the karate kid is supposed to be skinny. that's the whole thing. if they started out with a ripped dude half the premise would make no sense.

2.) ralph in kk3 was never even "overweight/obese" (not that it even matters). to me, it just looks like he was finally going through puberty lol. like he has a small frame in his early years and even in tkk 1 & 2 during his early/mid 20s. but timeskip to '93 when he was in naked in new york (chris my beloved) and he has the frame of an adult. kk3 to me was just the in-between period, like he's just a human person who's growing. not to mention he's like an adorable pissed off kitten in that movie so--

3.) you can't even make an argument that he's old, because it doesn't matter. the man doesn't age and he's a good actor, so why not stick him in young roles? as long as he's not kissing costars that are minors (like they were going to do with jessica until they changed it), i don't see the issue. it's not like grease where they were all 36 playing 16 year olds, ralph looked 15 playing a 17/18 year old, and now he looks 40 when he's 60

i dunno, i'm teetering on getting into a Social Justice Thing because it reminds me of a different thing but i will sum it up to say this: i wish men would leave other non-traditional men alone, they'd leave women alone, and they'd stop trying to spread these one-dimensional beliefs on what constitutes as "attractive". some people are different. the movie is a classic because it subverts tropes/expectations. if it contained the traditional things they wanted to see, people probably wouldn't remember it

#i'm not actually mad lol i'm used to hearing stupid things from men #to overshare on the internet. i had a friend who was video-chatting with a guy (not a 14 year old i mean a grown 25 year old) #and he said something dumb or made a dumb noise or something and i joked that he should 'go to jail for the crime of being a man' #keeping in mind that it was a joke and i said it in a joking way #and he said (he hadn't even seen me atp so he didn't know what i looked like) #that 'based on my voice it sounded like i was fat and had no man' which. huh. #you can tell someone's weight and relationship status by their voice ?? :/ #this man got so offended by this joke he had to come for me like that. when i'm literally just some pos kid lmao #so yeah i mean these tags are going on 1000 years but that's what it reminded me of #i respect men like i don't hate all men but i definitely don't get along with them often because they're...that #but anyways #rose's asks #ralph macchio #the thing we were originally here to talk about lmao

[snixx]

I am simultaneously one of the physically healthiest and unhealthiest people i know lmfao

#i think it depends on your meter #because I'm always at the extreme which extreme is a coin toss #stamina?? ive run 10k baby #and i can walk or run or whatever forever #bmi? probably in the 0.01% of worst bmi in the country #flexibility? A++ I can stretch everything and i mean everything to insane limits #i eat SO MUCH junk food it's insane like i genuinely have zero restraint #but also I've exercised every day my whole life #sports and speed etc?? fail i always finished last at races #but endurance? i will beat everyone #coordination? zero. agility? 100 #it's just really interesting #i haven't checked my weight or height in like two years btw #i have a weighing machine under my bed #but i just. don't it's kavya policy #we ain't going down that route again #i mean i know if im really completely fine i shouldn't care about the stupid numbers #but if i know my parents will know. and it'll be impossible not to care #god only knows how much i weigh atp it's so freeing not giving a shit #but i eat so much junk idc i do exercise but if i pop off early at least i had a fun life with lots of awesome food #i love how junk food is cheap too it's just insta joy #i do poop like three times a day so i think I'm good #anywayyy i love being unhealthy as long as i can get a frooti or kurkure from across the street whatever crisis happens i can deal #...idk what this rant was #moral of the story: fat shame your kids when they do everything right & they will eventually stop giving a fuck and ACTUALLY get unhealthy #like bitch now that I've gotten over my ed I'm all your worst nightmares brought to life and idc 😻 #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com

[starglitterz]

can yall stop being creepy as fuck on this site 😐 don't act like it's better on tumblr than twt or tiktok when all of these sites are toxic in their own ways. don't send ppl death threats, doxxing threats, hate asks, predatory asks, don't plagiarise, don't impersonate ppl etc – it's that simple yet some of you still can't understand it.

#i normally wouldn't say shit like this since ive literally been on tumblr for a yr+ but atp idc #it's partially the reason i don't interact as much nowadays. i just come on here to say stupid shit abt myself or to post actual writing #✨️ — quill screaming ! #i'm sorry if this comes off as rude or hypocritical but honestly everyone's got a limit to the bs they can put up with

[peridot-the-kitten]

God I just do not like a single fucking thing about myself huh.

#vent #I'm probably just being stupid and my period is going to start soon bc this shits become routine atp but it still fucking sucks #i don't want to kms but I don't want to be alive rn. so probably just my period making me feel this way or something shit #monthly pre-period suicidal tendencies ✨ #cat person screams.txt