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#i'm just gonna have to do the hard work!
ofhouseadama · 2 years
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my therapist has nerfed me and is the first person to ever explain to me the mechanics of enmeshment and ptsd in the brain and WHY "lack of identity/lacking a sense of self" are prominent symptoms and how to actually go about developing my own sense of self and identity and i! don't! like! it!
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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#spheal#i wish i could post circular images on tumblr. because this one is deserving of a fully circular PNG. i could technically just take a#regular square image and then make the edges transparent to make it *effectively* a circle‚ but like… would that appeal?#if that would appeal then i'll do it. i don't think it would be *too* prohibitively hard. i would be willing to make an addendum#with a circular transparent image of spheal staring at the screen if enough of you want it. either way#this guy rolls everywhere and i think tumblr is gonna like that. i feel like this is gonna end up being a well-liked pokémon amongst tumblr#as in. i feel like. it already is. because. of how it is. i just don't know bc spheal isn't like. one of my favorites#it's cute don't get me wrong but it's just not one i think about all the time. it's one that i'll like if prompted but not unprompted#i'm gonna stop before i dig myself into a hole. i beat totk finally. it was very good and i honestly had way way more fun with it than i did#with botw. i have my criticisms obviously. it's not perfect it's not pmd. but it was very good. and now i've moved onto the next game in my#backlog. which is very long but i'm steadily working through it. hopefully i can get it done before i graduate this december and stop having#any time for the rest of my life ever forever to play video games. dreading that day. but uh#until then i will game. and hang out with my friends. and go on tumblr. and do all these things i like to do. until i no longer can#wow this got depressing i'm gonna Stop here. enjoy spheal
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nattikay · 6 months
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friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye
#avatar#avatar 2#neteyam#given how hesitant Jake is to let Neteyam fight I can absolutely GUARANTEE you that there was almost certainly NEVER an interaction...#...in which Neteyam said ''hey Mom and Dad I'm gonna go hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri now''#and Jake and Neytiri reply ''no son you're too old for such childish things you must come do Adult Tasks that you secretly hate instead#so you can be the Perfect Future Olo'eyktan™"#THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN#AND IT'S NOT “IMPLIED” TO HAVE HAPPENED EITHER#Y'ALL MADE THAT UP IN YOUR HEADS#along with the idea that Neteyam secretly hates his lot in life and is internally yearning to be A Normal Kid™#guys Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior he WANTS follow in Jake's footsteps he strives so hard because HE *WANTS* TO OF HIS OWN ACCORD#there is absolutely d i d d l y s q u a t that suggests this path is being “forced” on him#or that he is being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ and Just Wants to Be Free or w/e#you. made. that. up.#it's not a canon aspect of his character#and. look. if you wanna explore the idea of him being ''crushed under pressure'' in a fanfic#because you find it interesting or it helps you work through your own stuff then hey be my guest#but once you start saying stuff like#''oh i feel so bad for [canon] Neteyam because he died before he could break free of his parents' toxic influence''#Shut Up™#neteyam's parents were not a toxic influence; he was never forced into being something he didn't want to be; his childhood was not “stolen”#he did not have anything to “break free” of. you are injecting extra layers of tragedy that aren't actually there#you are giving yourself extra grief for things that were never canon#stahp#feel free to write whatever you want in fanfiction but please i am begging you#to be aware of which ideas are actually present in the movie vs. which ones are just fanfiction
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skellagirl · 10 months
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welcometogrouchland · 5 months
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Stephanie Brown and Dick Grayson: I Am Going To Be A Good Parent To Pass On The Good Parts Of My Tumultuous Childhood/Give Someone Else What I Didn't Have Growing Up
Vs
Damian Wayne and Cassandra Cain: You Could Not Pay Me To Be A Parent For Fear I Would Continue The Cycle Of Violence
#dc comics#stephanie brown#dick grayson#damian wayne#cassandra cain#ramblings of a lunatic#don't ask me about tim jason or duke idk what's going on there#Tim can't even make it to college unimpeded his ass is NOT entering fatherhood#you could do something really interesting with Jason as a father but it'd either have to go hard into the 'jason healing' route-#-or the complete opposite direction and go full on 'repeating the cycle of violence' fucked up#and either way it's gonna be divisive#i recently found out (bc i skipped batman and the outsiders) that duke's dad is some kind of immortal entity???? what in the fresh hell#I'm not saying it can't be cool I'm saying I'm. so goddman surprised it's never brought up by ANYONE#i know duke doesn't get his flowers in fandom but SERIOUSLY. WHAT?#ngl i can't say for sure that i don't like it bc i haven't seen the execution but. instinctually i prefer his og backstory#it just felt more grounded and linked to his setting? his whole thing is being the light and pushing batmans message further-#which is already hard for some writers to work w bc depending on interpretation that's the territory of like. 5 other guys in batfam#but duke does it in his own way with the whole working the dayshift angle. idk am i the only one hung up on the eldritch daddy thing?#bc i simply can't imagine the thought process behind that#anyway I've been thinking about the bit in robin 2021 where damian says he's never having kids. he's so real for that#he loves both his parents deeply and that series made that clear but MAN he is not passing on all this mental illness to anyone#and then i thought about how badly steph wanted to be a mom even as a teenager despite her own shitty parents#how she wanted to give someone else more than she had growing up (HOPE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A THEME FOR STEPH LISTEN TO ME)#and she ultimately gave her kid up bc she knew she couldn't give that to them at the time#oouughhhh. then i just figured that dick and cass are roughly the same in their estimation of parenthood#cass had a horrifically abusive upbringing and insanely isolated life til recent-#-all of which was due to/contributed by the parental figures in her life minus maybe barbara#i think I'd love to watch cass act as a mentor (she was a bit of a peer mentor to Steph and got along well w maps in Batgirls)#but it's hard to picture her as maternal. big sister yes. mother no.#dick is soooo dad shaped it's unreal. just as much as he is brother shaped. especially after everything with damian
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shuploc · 8 months
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If you do an Astarion painting I'm gonna evaporator /pos
Y'know what... It's kinda crazy, cuz I've literally been an Astarion stan since the beta, I'm collecting edits of him like it's pokemon cards too, but I just haven't talked about him on here at all lmao
I will definitely draw him, I guess I'm just gonna throw that out there; there might be a couple of pieces of him sprinkled in amongst everything else down the line. Thank you for the suggestion though, I've mentioned before how I feel pretty bad about drawing stuff from lots of fandoms at the same time, but idk, this time it does feel a little different ❤️
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ever get the feeling some people are just...tolerating you?
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doodleodds · 2 years
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royalty & fairy tale au’s are meant to be mixed and u can’t change my mind
Late shuake week 2022 day 3 - Royalty AU
#shuakeweek2022#akechi goro#kurusu akira#I JUST REALLY LOVE SLEEPING BEAUTY OK#or well. i love the idea of 'sleeping curses.' idk why! they've always fascinated me#i used to be obsessed with aurora and snow white for that reason#and so here i am! as always! projecting this interest of mine onto my favorite characters :)#also for reference because i just realized how weird it reads: goro's gonna be in the tallest tower when he's cursed#that's why akira's got a reason to climb it. so. yeah#also in case you were wondering why i said 'see you tomorrow with more art' and then proceeded not to post for.....four days:#1) work decided that i'm going to be doing more hours so i now have very little free time;#2) i decided to actually try my hand at coloring again like an IDIOT and now here we are. sigh. coloring is hard#i was trying to hard not to just overdose on comic dots again lol & it resulted in this nonsense. me and my one very textured stone wall#ANYWAY lmao even though i missed like. every single day of akeshu week so far i'm still gonna be doing the prompts#just at my own pace! so. hopefully expect more art. soon. ish. hopefully not with another uhhh 2 month gap like last year lol#also quick fun fact since you made it this far in my tags! that second page originally wasn't supposed to be there!#i drew sleeping goro just cause i could and i was just gonna stick him under a read more but then i got attached lmao#and now he's in the main post! :D yayyyyyy goro#ANYWAY that was super long. thanks for reading & i hope u have a lovely day!!!!
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fisheito · 10 days
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Something about dark nova yakumo makes me want to bully him. Every time I see him I want to shove him in a locker or pour mop water on his head. I'm not sure why; I don't feel that strongly about his other alts but for some reason just thinking of him in a school setting turns me into a generic high school bully.
you're so right nonsy i could be standing under my angelic umbrella with the utmost compassion and empathy for the rough life of a high schooler but if yakumo walks by in his stupid oversized untucked shirt i'm gon na
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ai-higurashi · 5 months
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You remind me of her (/derogatory?)
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upperranktwo · 2 years
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☆Anya Forger | Telepath☆
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soppsop · 9 months
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
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halogalopaghost · 4 months
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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moongothic · 6 months
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It is objectively at least a little funny to me when people draw Crocodile super muscular 'cause like, sure, his torso may be as wide as a brick wall, but y'all seen his arms and legs?
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They're skinny as shit, this man has never lifted a thing in his entire life, he probably doesn't even know how to run. Like Oda can draw people with muscular limbs, this shit's intentional
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homeless202 · 7 months
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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~
I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?
first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question
i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.
TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)
deep dive under the cut as to why
-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?
i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.
-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?
this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.
when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.
think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.
and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).
-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??
this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).
what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)
they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.
...however...
this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)
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and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):
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so...
<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.
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since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)
he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.
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<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).
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with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)
see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T
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to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)
note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.
note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.
-> Romance in No Home?
another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.
from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk
when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.
exhibit A:
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HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.
exhibit B:
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here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.
exhibit C:
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this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-> what do i think?
first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).
as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.
there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.
technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)
<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.
all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.
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front-facing-pokemon · 11 months
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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