#i'll try to make a post with some of the main points here tomorrow but this is an incredible succinct and informative rundown

[heritageposts]

#i'll try to make a post with some of the main points here tomorrow but this is an incredible succinct and informative rundown #of the dissonance between the biden admin's reported opposition to israel's genocide in gaza #(like liberal media talking about 'red lines' 'stern phone calls' how biden is 'growing frustrated with netanyahu' etc) #and the actual material support they're providing israel #they also break down the biden admin's media strategy; how they create the illusion of opposition by conducting a humanitarian theater #like creating a pier to deliver humanitarian aid to gaza when the US government is literally the ones upholding the blockade #or airdropping aid that's now killed dozens of people #for no other aim than to create good headlines for biden #SoundCloud

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

#ooc post

[roosterbruiser]

giving a life update bc it makes me feel better about myself feat. another face reveal

I think I'm gonna treat this like a sort of journal entry and include some cute pictures so this doesn't feel like an absolute dump :-)

so to begin here's a picture of my nephew (yes it's a dog)

I am so excited for all my upcoming projects. right now, my focus is on finishing CS all the way. after I finish CS, I think I'm gonna go ahead and come out w HOT TO GO! (BRB x Reader) and then start regularly posting VV and SS again. I think I have my October schedule pinned down (like everything that's coming out) and that is so exciting! I can't wait to share w y'all!

I'm a working girl now!! I nanny 4 days a week!! it's lovely!! just one baby who's only 1!! and the parents work from home so I never have to stay late or anything!! it has been a bit of a challenge getting used to the schedule (but I thrive with schedules!) so that's why I've been a bit absent on here!!

still trying to get my house set up....living room has come a loooooong way, but my bedroom is suffering! hoping to work on it here and there! but my main priority is getting back into my regularly scheduled writing!! the living room def isn't completely done (have to finish my gallery walls!) and I wish the walls weren't white, but we're renting so! I do what I must!

plus being back in the area I'm in now means I'm by my friends again so I've been Going Out And Socializing which is crazy!!! here's some pictures of me at a local brewery wearing the bolo necklace I got with @ohgodnotagainn in Colorado!!!

in all complete and utter seriousness, whenever I was coming out with a new chapter for my three stories every single week (and updating Landslide like every two days!) I was at my lowest point. I was like one nasty thought away from having a grippy sock vacation and holding onto anything that eased my Darkness--which was absolutely writing and sharing on here with everyone!

here's a pic of me when I was at one of my lowest points. I was in Chicago in the dead of winter with people I didn't know very well (it was still fun!) and had never felt more lost in my life. it also exactly coincided with my stories getting popular on here after my 200 follower celebration. like, I remember being on the train and checking my Tumblr every hour and always having 100+ notifications. I'll never forget how mind-boggling it was!! I went from 200 followers in early January to 2.8k now in late September. and I love you all SO much!!!

I'd like to think I look much happier now :-)

I kind of have a bf now and I'm sooooo embarrassed ab it. like. who breaks up with the person they thought they were gonna marry, gets back with their ex, and just stays w them??? me, I guess! no but I am actually happy. we're going to see CHAPPELL MF ROAN'S ALBUM RELEASE tomorrow and he's gonna wear a silk scarf and trim his mustache. I'm in love. like, actually in love. Alice Hoffman says, "Fall in love whenever you can." so I did!

the closest I'll give to a face reveal.....

anyway. I'm happy. the only thing I wanna work on right now is my health (simply MUST get into the hot girl mindset) and my writing!! everything else is gravy, baby!!

gonna try to answer asks / mentions / dm's this weekend!

#life shmife #life update #face reveal part three #update #my works #my wirting #my life

[manonamora-if]

May Check-In

This is a bit late, because I've been debugging the past two days.

So I bought Tropico 6 during the last Steam sale. If you haven't seen me posting for a while, blame by wish to be a benevolent dictator of a fake Caribbean island.

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month (I won't do this anymore)

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head on over to itch.io as usual!

April Progress

From last month, what did we do:

Play more games: ✅

I started so good, finishing reviewing the SeedComp! entries, as well as the Revival Jam and had started on the Spring Thing... then I got distracted by the TALJ and Tropico... I also need to update @manonamora-if-reviews at some point... It's at least 100 reviews behind.

Finish the Code of Ch5✅ of Harcourt and edit the Ending Chapter ✅

YES! IT IS DONE! I have finally fixed those godamn doors in the maze that were giving me so much trouble. Also MelS has gotten my edits on all the Chapters/files (and was given extra comments because I also fixed some code in previous chapters). He is hard at work dying editing the missing text.

The only thing left for me is to: - add the maze visuals (map, book/letter formatting) - settle on a design for the final maze puzzle (need to so some research) - include the missing chapter/text (waiting for MelS)

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. Or An Eggcellent Preparation. Maybe the other parser too (it just needs a smidge of polish).

LOL... This is the shameful failure that is following me around, ringing that darn bell.

Should i give up on it? Maybe one day...

Complete the TALJ entry. ✅

I have been battling this one the whole morning trying to fix so many bugs. But I'm pretty happy about it. For one: it was actually tested by someone (not like last year). For two: it's actually an easy parser (like you can't lose!).

And the idea had been ringing in my head for so long, I had the prompt submitted to last SeedComp!.

But yeah, this had been happening for a while already. And even though it doesn't have the level of polish I had hopped (future me problem with updates), it is probably one of the better one I've made.

Anyway, play Lysidice and the Minotaur (I'll have an official post tomorrow). (and you can vote for it if you want...)

What else happened this month????

Well, the SeedComp! ended, so I had to deal with all the admin, and making the cool stickers for the different entries. That took quite a bit of time... but worth it! Some really cool entries this year, yet again!

Well, this is more of it's been done last month but released this month: Les lettres du Docteur Jeangille has been translated into English, for the Spring Thing (in the Main Garden, if you feel like voting for games). You can find the post there!

I've been also drafting some post-mortems, one for Jeangille and one for Lysidice. They should come out during the month, at some point.

:/ I have to update my website again now...

I wanted to do an entry in the Dialogue Jam, but my idea didn't pan out on time (too buggy for release). Or eer... cough cough... I had enough will power not to do it? Anyway, also I made the Really Bad IF Jam, which starts today!

What’s happening in May?

As mentioned at the start, I'm dropping this section from my check-in. First, it's buried deep in a wall of text, so no visibility (it should have been a separate post, oh well). If people actually check the events out, I'm sure it would be a miracle.

But mainly... a zine has popped up recently, specifically about IF called What's New in IF? (@if-whats-new), releasing weekly. Since it includes events, like the jams/comps/conferences I used to mention here (and it looks more sleek than a Tumblr post), I'll just leave them do all that hard work instead 😅

So yea... as long as the zine is happening, I'm out 😅 Well, I'll drop them links to my jams and stuff I see, because they seem to be looking for help in finding stuff.

The PLANtm for May

I'm playing Tropico, so I'm getting and will probably going to get less stuff done. Which is not a bad think. Breaks are important. Will I go on a break this month?

Probably should...

But if I don't, where's what I hope to do:

Play more games: On my juicy list I have: the Spring Thing, the newly released Dialogue Jam and TALJ, the Locus Jam and Really BAD IF is happening this month too (so more gameses!), and a few non-comp releases I've had my eye on.

Code Chapter 6/Endings: I need to wait for MelS for this, since he's editing my comments. I'll prob look for visuals for the puzzle in the meantime.

Fixing an older games. Instead of new, do something old.

Write the next Chapter/Scene of a WIP, because it would be good to actually do that. And make some actual progress at seeing stuff being done. (I want to write some Razac snippets....)

Let's have a boring month!

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

LOL, I've only done the website! :D

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match (waiting for Adventuron to get the French language)

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

#progress #update #interactive fiction #check in #monthly check in #manonamora #geez what a month #why do I keep doing this to myself

[itsbrucey]

Hihiii! I have appeared with an invisible microphone up to you (you seem very talk to me idk why- could be your banner on your profile hmm) Jonah and Lorraine? What’s their deal? (/nf ask ofc :]])

People like commenting on my banners and I just realized both my main and side have fucked up Markipliers. Hm.

Also. Cracks knuckles. Ok this will probably be NONSENSE I am very tired but here's a fucking run down ( maybe I'll add tomorrow/later idk)

Jonah and Lorraine are two of my OCS that are in this circle of my Darling Wonderful OCS aka the ones I actively think about and make content for. They're in the same realm as Dulcie and Eli and Marley and Vio. Which is to say My Main Ocs.

They're also the select few that have a story/narrative of some kind! Of which I'd like to one day actually write or make comics for.

The basics of Jonah is that she's essentially a super soldier experiment, not being "finished" but the newest model that's being worked on. All lab grown, not a "real person" and therefore is not treated as such. She's made as an organic war machine and is extremely strong and durable; tear tanks and armies apart with her bare hands strong and durable. But she's also INSANELY dehumanized and abused within her facility to the point where she's just kind of. Completely apathetic and numb and permanently in a Fight state of being as a defensive mechanism.

She ends up turning on the facility during a regular trial run of her progress and she SLAUGHTERS most of the lab and facility workers. She escapes the facility and doesn't really have anywhere to go so she just Picks Somewhere. She ends up escaping to a city and climbing through a random window post-carnage and meeting Zach. A random fucking English major who can't really do anything about this massive murder woman who is now in his place.

Her entire thing is that she's learning what it means to be human while dealing with A: trauma and PTSD from Everything and B: a government desperate trying to get her back. Big Woman enjoyers who want someone severely emotionally stunted and permanently stressed out but trying her best may like her. Also she's bisexual and her blood is BRIGHT pink.

Lorraine is a chieftess of a sky island that floats over The Abyss, governing it with her two brothers. She basically oversees the safety of the villages and makes sure people are fed and tended to. Things have been getting hard though, as the island keeps crumbling little by little, and the island seems to have been falling apart faster after Lorraine's father died and she took over. She ends up getting betrayed by one of her brother's and challenges to a duel because he blames her for things sucking really bad + he's jealouuuuussss.

Lorraine loses the duel and gets stabbed through the gut with the family spear ( which has lightning magic fun fact ) and physically KICKED over the side of the island by her brother. She falls and falls and falls, spear STILL INSIDE HER, and she falls into The Abyss, which is like. An infinitely stretching void way below the island. If you fall over the edge, you aren't coming back.

But Lorraine falls into The Abyss. And wakes up. In a fucked up new world that is mangled and twisted and decaying. She gets attacked by some [creatures I haven't named yet ValleyStalkers idk] and manages to fight them off with her spear, but just barely. She faints bc of blood loss + exhaustion + lightning magic. But THEN. PLOT TWIST BITCH SHE JUST DRAGGED INTO A LITTLE ROCK SHELTER BY A LITTLE GIRL. PEOPLE CAN LIVE DOWN HERE.

Lorraine gets nursed back to health by this young girl and Lorraine is hellbent on clawing her way back up to the island and slaughtering her brother for his betrayal. And she adopts the girl and sets off on a journey to leave The Abyss. Also she's like in her 40's-50's and is a cool trans woman with a wife. For my woman enjoyers who like a stern and commanding lady who is also very sweet and sacrificial. Also who has a kickass lightning spear passed through her family's lineage.

Lorraine's lore document is collecting dust as we speak but I'd like to finalize some lore of the worldbuilding + Abyss, as well as OTHER CHARACTERS WHO AREN'T MENTIONED BC THE STORY NEEDS DEVELOPED. Jonah doesn't have a lore document yet bc I'm. Lazy.

Thumbs up!! This is like. The general overview of them. My beautiful amazing battle women.

#didn't go into little little details but i mean #Lorraine's sky island has so many little pieces of world building I don't need but i like to have. #nonessential things to the plot bc i SUCK #Um other things. Jonah's teeth are pink. Jonah has massive triggers surrounding her hair and her facial scar #she's durable and heals from damage quickly; shes not perfect. massive damage sustained will show on her body #repeated damage in the same areas will also show. #Lorraine's color scheme + her villages has a lot of earthy blues and yellows. triangle patterns are common in cultural wear #Lorraine is a lesbian and Jonah is bisexual. Lorraine has a wife and Jonah eventually has romantic connection with Zach #Lorraine likes fresh cheese and bread with herbs and Jonah doesn't really have a fav food. she'd like pb&j though #If i had to pick songs for them off the top of my head... Free Life by Turbowolf for Lorraine and Bloody Mary Lady Gaga for Jonah #Jonah is also Broken Bones CRX and Destroyer MilkTeeth #Lorraine can play the flute! Jonah doesn't like music.

[montammil]

Hi there! 🌠

You mentioned Sadie earns a small income off of her photography,

Would Lawrence ever go out to buy one of these photos just to see Sadie again (and be able to claim he's supporting his children's business :D)?

Would Sadie even allow him to buy any of her paintings? I wouldn't put it last her to outright refuse him sale since it's not her main job.

So sorry this is shorter than what I usually write, but I hope you still like it! Maybe I'll write a continuation soon if anyone wants me to continue!! I'm getting some other requests done, I think the next one should be posted tomorrow!! ^^

CW: Past kidnapping, mentions of stalking, female whumpee, parental whumper

...

Lawrence wasn't actively trying to seek Sadie out, in all fairness. He was just accompanying a few friends of his to an art fair, since one of said friends just liked going to these things.

He found it mildly entertaining. It was a good way to pass time, and he would occasionally buy a few prints and paintings if he really liked them.

Photography at these shows were rare, so he slowly stopped walking as he saw a stand of photographs. Each and every one looked vibrant, which he admired.

"We're gonna go look over there," his friend told him.

Nodding and not even looking in the direction he pointed, Lawrence replied, "I'll catch up to you."

As soon as they left, he picked up his favorite photo: a photo of the northern lights. Nadia and him planned to have their honeymoon there, and even though the reminder of what he couldn't have left a bitter feeling in his mouth, it was always nice to have something to remember her by.

He also got a photo of a starry night sky, reminded of Marshall, and decided to get that for him (even if he knew realistically he wouldn't care for it).

Lawrence didn't have much of a line to wait in, only two people in front of him. He looked down at the two prints, smiling to himself. He made a mental note to take Marshall stargazing tonight. He was sure he was making enough progress to trust him.

When he got to the front of the line, he looked up from the photos in his hand to see a familiar face.

His eyes widened. Hers did too, except twice as large.

"Sadie," Lawrence breathed.

"No... no, no, nonono..." She backed up into the wall behind her, looking like a deer in headlights. She seemed too stunned to move, judging by how she just stood there.

Honestly, Lawrence was just as shocked. He blinked, then took a quick glance around to make sure no one was within earshot. There was a single woman browsing, so he knew he'd have to stay calm about this.

"It's nice to see you again, buddy. I had no idea you were into photography," Lawrence observed. He didn't like how fearful she looked of him, as if he hurt her. He could understand Nathan's fear, but he never hurt Sadie! Not physically, at least.

...not like he really got a chance to anyway, given she ran away relatively quickly.

She took a deep breath, eyes darting around the area as if looking for an escape. Lawrence wouldn't stop her if she tried, knowing how strange that'd look. He kept his smile for the sole purpose of trying to calm her down and not arouse suspicion.

"...what are you doing here?" she finally asked. She had a look that was a mixture of anger and horror.

He kept his seemingly innocent grin. "I had no idea you were here, kiddo, I swear. I was just coming by with some friends and then saw these pictures-- great work, by the way-- and decided to buy them. So..." He slid them on the desk.

She stared at the two prints for a moment, then back at him. "There's no other motivations here?"

With an amused snort, Lawrence said, "I can assure you, I'm not your stalker or anything. It's been almost two years, hasn't it? I've gotten over it. Have you, though?"

"Whatever. That's one hundred." She grabbed a plastic bag from underneath the table and put the two prints in it. She waited for Lawrence to hand over the money before giving him the bag.

Lawrence knew she overpriced them on purpose, but he didn't argue with it, they were worth the price because they held a new meaning to him now, as not only a reminder of old times, but as something Sadie made. He felt like it was poetic, in a way.

Honestly, this whole moment seemed poetic to him. Like fate was trying to tell him not to give up on Sadie. He still had no idea if he was going to take advantage of this opportunity or not.

Sadie's expression turned more annoyed than anything. "You're holding up the line."

He glanced behind him to see the same woman who was browsing now behind him. He smiled. "So I am. Have a good day, Sadie. I'm so proud of you."

In response, she just cringed.

On the way out, he grabbed her business card containing all her contact info and the name to her website... to support her business more, of course. He'd be making himself a regular customer from now on.

He also wondered if Marshall would like a sibling.

#answered ask #lawrence oc #sadie oc #i'm so sorry this is so short and took so long T-T

[sakkubuuns]

ch.2 of cloudnine lol

it's been a week now and no one has texted me about kuroo. i'm honestly glad i haven't received another "hey girly.." text. makes my gut drop every time just thinking about how i can get a dm anytime, but since i haven't yet, i'll just enjoy the time being. 

"classes start tomorrow. you have everything babe?" kuroo came from behind me placing his hands on my shoulders rubbing them softly as i sat at my desk putting last minute items in your bag. "yep," i said popping the 'p'. "you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to. you have to drive to your classes tomorrow too y'know?" i said hanging my tote bag on it's hook. "i know but i wanna see my girlfriend off to her classes, that isn't much to ask for is it?" i tilted my head up to look at him,

i smiled feeling my heart swell of relief, all i could do was shake my head. "let's go to bed then" he nodded as we went to go do our nightly routine.

-

the next morning kuroo dropped me off and said he would pick me up after my lectures. it was fine by me, meant that i didn't have to walk home or take the bus. as i made my way to class i pulled my wax pen out. i took a couple hits before putting it back into it's designated pocket of my tote bag.

i walked into the class trying to catch my breath a little, the stairs was really kicking my ass, i don't know how i'm gonna do that every day. i already knew that i was going to sit far from others. it was quite nerve racking being at a new university, i didn't know anyone. i took a seat by the window taking in the view of the quad and main library. i looked down at all the people, one group in particular stood out to me. it was a group of guys, looked like they were having a sesh.

in the quad? mood

hopefully i get to meet some cool people who are down to blow down. the professor walked in and began introducing herself, as she was talking i began to notice how i was involuntarily blocking her voice out.

shit i'm high

i know i know, not the wisest choice being high my first lecture, but so what? i get my work done either way and i don't bother anyone by doing the things i do. plus i know when to be as sober as i can.

i finally came to and began following the notes the professor was already giving. i didn't mind though, notes were fun. i always added color and made them look so pretty.

-

i got a text from kuroo as the professor was wrapping up. he wanted to meet at the campus cafe and grab a snack before heading to my house. i was fine with whatever so i agreed. i had one more lecture in the evening, thank god it's online.

"alright please join the class session online! i will be posting reminders there and as well as assignments. i will be group emailing the link, peace!" she walked out not even waiting for anyone to reply. she's pretty cool, and seems young. i loved her already.

i put my airpods in wanting to enjoy the rest of my high. as i was looking down at my phone scrolling through my playlist, i bumped into someone. "oof-" "shit sorry my bad lil homie- oh my fault. i wasn't looking" i looked up at the person.

holy shit he was smoking hot

i guess i was staring awhile because when i finally snapped out of it, the guy and his whole group were looking at me funny. my eyes went wide as i took in their appearance and the smell. "oh my god! you're the guys i saw earlier from my window seat!" i pointed and shouted a bit loud which took them aback. "i saw you guys having a sesh down here from my lecture on the third floor" i point to the building facing us and the rest turned their heads behind them. a collective "ohh" going around.

"so you smoke?" one of the guys stepped up, he had blonde hair and a dark undercut. you have a boyfriend.. i caught myself before letting my mind slip again. "for sure i do" i opened my bag slightly taking my pen out, "you could take a hit if you want" i shrugged, they looked at me in shock. "um.." i awkwardly stood there holding my pen out for them, "sorry it's just that people around here are pretty stingy with their shit so it's shocking to see someone offer a hit so easily" another guy spoke, he was african american. he was taller than the rest, which made me realize how tall these guys actually were, around the same height as kuroo.

i waved them off, "nah it's cool. i like this aura you guys bring off, and the lingering smell of za" i laughed as i felt the pen being snatched from my hands,

jeez be respectful at least

one with cool dark ash hair that looked very similar to the blond, took a hit then passed it to the blondie. i assumed the two were twins. the dark haired twin blew the fumes out and was starting to taste the flavors on his tongue. "that cart is definitely not from out here, or any of the plugs i buy from" he pointed at the sleek device. his twin agreeing not long after.

"dude you need to try this" the tallest turned around and passed the pen to another person. i was so distracted that i didn't even know there was another person, though i do remember seeing four people when i was looking out the window. "out of state?" the last person popped out.

i felt guilty thinking that these guys in front of me were hot. but at least kuroo wasn't getting texts from random people saying i was cheating on him with them. the three guys were attractive i can't lie about that, but this guy.. he was insanely good looking. his eyes hung low obviously making him look a little hotter. he stood up tall but his head naturally tilted downwards. he had on a loose plain hoodie that had a little threading detail on the left side of his chest, a couple of chains dangled his neck, one falling under the hoodie and the rest being out. his jeans were loose but fit him nicely, they bunched over a pair of nike blazer mids. and lastly, his hair looked soft as fuck.

and once again i was staring too long, "oh, um yeah" i nodded. dang he knew by just the taste of it? "yeah i've never seen these before. we sell dispos around here" he said lowly handing me my pen back. i was so entranced by his presence that i didn't notice kuroo was calling me. i took the pen and excused myself, even though we just met, hopefully they would wait. they seemed like potential friends.

"hey babe, i just got done. i'm on my way to come get you" he didn't sound like he was on the road? whatever, "you could have just texted me that you know?" i giggled at his weird ways. "yeah i know but just felt like calling you" " okay, well drive safe" "bye baby" i put my phone back in my pocket and turned around, "sorry my boyfriends on his way," their faces seemed to change when i mentioned a boyfriend. "you guys seem cool, what's your socials?" i grabbed my phone again clicking on snap and handing it to one of the guys.

"um kuroo best captain middle blocker said he just got here and he'll meet you at the campus cafe" the blond snickered as the tallest awkwardly handed my phone back. i snatched my phone back, assuming i had at least one of their snaps. "oh my god, he's so fucking stupid. don't mind that" i tried to laugh it off as i got a notification. "suna.. rintarou.." i read as i looked up trying to guess which one it could be.

"text me whenever you're down to have a sesh" the quiet one spoke. his voice was a little louder, maybe sobering up. i nodded my head taking my leave, trying to find the cafe.

-

@ sakubuns

#anime #haikyu #wattpad #writer #suna rintarou #fanfic #suna x reader

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton on itv's pre-race show, spain - may 13, 2007 (transcript under the cut)

Post-qualifying interview #1: Lewis: "We're here to work as a team. I'm gonna do my job, which is try to score as many points for the team, and if he's ahead and we can help each other out we surely will, because we're teammates, but at the end of the day we're out here to beat each other, we're out there to win, and so that's gonna be my main target." [time jump]

Post-qualifying interview #2: Lewis: "We have a slightly different strategy to Fernando, at least, and I think we're in good step for tomorrow. Yeah, if you work it out I was just as quick, if not maybe quicker. We'll see." [time jump]

Post-qualifying interview #3: Interviewer: "Lewis, back in action after a month's break, and once again you start from row two. First of all, a word about your qualifying performance, how you judge what you achieved in qualifying, and prospects for the race." Lewis: "I'm extremely excited to be back here. I've not been out in the car for four weeks, so yesterday when I went out I still had that buzz like I always have when I get in a car, which is a good thing, so I enjoy it. But in qualifying we… As you can see in testing, we've been quickest, or I was quickest, so I've had the car, really, to challenge for the pole, but due to certain strategy decisions I wasn't really given the opportunity to fight for pole. Being on the second row, I'm used to that. We can get a good start. It's a long tow down to the first corner, so as long as I get a good start I should be able to tow some of the drivers and try and get past, so that's gonna be the plan." Interviewer: "Tell us about the three weeks or month you've had since Bahrain and how much of real, ordinary life were you able to get back to." Lewis: "It wasn't too bad. As soon as I got back I had some paparazzi outside my house, which was a bit weird, so as you can imagine I felt a bit imprisoned in my own house. But it was good to get back and see my family, see friends, and just relax, and then I went back down to working and got back on the job, training, making sure I was fit enough for this weekend." Interviewer: "It is a race that is so important to Fernando. We all know that. Is there a way in which you can be extra supportive this particular weekend?" Lewis: "I don't think so. [laughs] We're here to work as a team. I'm gonna do my job, which is try to score as many points for the team, and if he's ahead and we can help each other out we surely will, because we're teammates, but at the end of the day we're out there to beat each other, we're out there to win, and so that's gonna be my main target." Interviewer: "Now that we're back in Europe, one final point. One personality who's been able to return to Formula 1 and get a huge amount of attention is, of course, Michael Schumacher, here this weekend. Are there any circumstances where your paths might cross during the course of the weekend?" Lewis: "I hope so. During my career I've not really had many meetings with him. I think in Istanbul last year was the first time he really spoke to me, and it's great to have him here. It's good to see him. I think it's good for Formula 1; the fans love it. But I've not had time to see him just yet, but it's probably not good to have a McLaren and a Ferrari driver talking to each other, so I'll just keep my distance." [laughs] Interviewer: "Exactly. Well, we'll wish you luck for the weekend to come, and…"

#lewis hamilton #f1 #formula 1 #spanish gp 2007 #flashback fic ref #flashback fic ref 2007 #spain #spain 2007 #spain 2007 saturday #spain 2007 sunday #with michael #tw flashing

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Fate Of HADES

Didn't entirely finish that particular part of the main quest line, but it's late, and that very convenient save point suggests to me that there is going to be a very long period of searching ruins and/or cutscenes (and brief checking confirms), so nah. Still, not like I wasn't productive in Horizon-world.

Right. Rebel camp. Kill leader, others ... optional. Let's see; can the Focus pick out leaders?

...The Focus can pick out leaders! Okay, how good is this sharpshot bow really?

Well. Okay. Given that I one-shotted the leader from a very long way away, I'd say this sharpshot bow is pretty damn good!

Sooooooooooo ... you tell me that killing the other rebels is optional, buuuuuuuuuut you also want me to search the rebel leader. In the camp where everyone is freaking out about their leader having an arrow through their face, and also firing arrows in my general direction. I mean, they're not really hitting me, but we can call this self-defense now. And in no way padding my headshot count.

Wait. Rebel Tenakth wear dog tags?

Ooh. Shinies. Great. Okay. Now, there are a lot of options, but let's go check out that Carja camp.

Dudes. DUDES. GET. A. ROOM. Also that is not a tray. It is too small for-- Y'know what? Never mind. I'll go check on things at your dig site.

But first I'm going to wander around these Carja ruins. Because Exploration.

More Firegleam. And another metal flower. WHEN DO I GET TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT ALREADY?!? Oh well; I got some good out of it - three Burrowers down and at least some shiny.

Okay. Dig site. Scrappers and ... why do they want Widemaws here? I guess because water-adjacent? Now, I could hide in a bush, and I will for these guys, but ... that's not a great angle. How about I quietly go up to the top of this post and shoot from there?

Well. This is good. TRY CHARGING ME NOW, DIPSHIT ROBOTS!

Right. So. Underwater. Ohyay.

Now, see, here's another thing I want RightTheHellNow. WHERE IS MY REBREATHER? Well, I apparently need access keys or some shit first.

This ... must be where my first access key is. One Skydrifter, a couple of Scroungers. And a friendly bush. Bye, guys!

...AND green shiny! My cup runneth over.

Ouch. Poor Old World Fighter-Dudes. None of that sounded happy. Right. Not much else in here, but there is an access key, so grab that and moving on...

Access Key The Second is apparently in another blocked path spot. Yaaaaaaay. I will get there eventually. (This is why I feel no shame in having my interactive map open at all times; I need to be able to reference back to where all the stuff I couldn't open is when I finally can open it.)

Welp, I'm pretty close to Sylens' coordinates, so I guess it's about time for main quest.

Thaaaaat's a Titan. And some data points / codex entries / whatever.

Sylens ... you tortured HADES for nearly two weeks?!? So how do you torture an AI?

...Well, that's ... one way to torture that particular AI, I guess. (Interesting to note that one of my most-used tags violates HADES' version of the Geneva Convention.)

WAIT, YOU HAVE A GAIA BACKUP, YOU SMUG LITTLE--?!? GAAAAAAAAH!

Okay. Just want to check a thing. Because we have a workbench, a main questline, and a bit patch of Firegleam. I have a feeling I know what one of the rewards for this is, and I want to make sure I'm right.

...YEEEEEEEEEEEEES.

Oooh, nailed that Skydrifter right in the chillwater reservoir. Aaaaaand now everything else wants me dead. Fine. Alternate between knocking you away with the spear and taking pot shots at you at short range. Because I can adapt, when I have to.

Huh. There's a campfire and a vendor right here. And a supply cache. This feels like a "If you need to pee, eat, or sleep, do it now because you're in for a long period of uninterrupted STUFF" save point to me. Lemme check a thing.

...Yeaaaaaaaah, no, better to do this tomorrow when I'm fresh. So the mystery can wait for now. I haven't got a big cutscene in me right now. (Then again, it could not possibly be as bad as some of the cutscene chains in FFXIV. Still.)

Yeah, pouring one out for Lance Reddick, because he does give exceptional dickwaffle. I just want to be awake enough to appreciate the sheer range of dickwaffle he portrays here.

#Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West

[thebadascetic]

Mid-Lent Reflections

So I'm hoping that today's post will be a little bit different. I've been thinking a lot about this blog and I realised that I've been treating it like an obligation rather than a voluntary personal project.

Since I began converting to Catholicism, things have become rather complication for me. I'm changing as a person and feel very disconnected from my friends, who are all secular, as a result. Additionally, I haven't had a great deal of success in making Catholic friends just yet so I honestly feel quite lonely. During these times, I'm so grateful to God for my lovely fiance who has been the pinnacle of support during this struggle. So this blog gives me an opportunity to talk about those things that I'd like to talk about with friends and potentially connect with people online.

I'd like to try and be a bit more personal and engaging with these posts but I believe that is something I'll find with time. For now, I'll share what I can with you.

Well, right now I'm sick. Nothing serious, I just have a stuffy nose and am very fatigued. I've had to cancel some appointments and interviews and haven't been very productive these past couple of days as a result, which is completely understandable. What's less understandable, though, is that I've honestly been really letting myself down with my Lenten fasts. I haven't been consistent with them at all and the only one I can say that I haven't broken is my fast from meat. I've been on social media almost non-stop and it's been awful. I usually have a block on my phone that keeps me out of most apps from 8pm-9am but I haven't been using it lately. I've been so unproductive for weeks now and have done little to no cleaning around the apartment. It's getting pretty bad here and I'm disappointed in myself. I was hoping to get back onto things this week but of course, now I'm sick. My prayer life has been almost nonexistent. I'm not going to continue, it's not helpful for me to engage in excessive negative self-talk and I should be directing my focus towards improvement, not despondency.

On a more positive note, my early childcare traineeship interviews went incredibly well! So well, in fact, that I was offered the traineeship on the spot during my first interview! I have the contract with me, that I will be signing and returning tomorrow (assuming I'm not still sick) and I'll be starting the job two weeks from today! I've already handed in my letter of resignation to my current job and am looking forward to this new chapter of my life.

I also went to Great Vespers on Saturday night with my lovely fiance. We've just passed the Veneration of the Holy Cross so I have included photos of the Cross from St. Andrew's after Great Vespers on Saturday and St. Volodymyr's after Divine Liturgy on Sunday. This was only my second time attending Great Vespers. I sat near the choir and did my best to participate. Hopefully if I work hard enough, I might be able to join the choir one day.

Lastly, yesterday I spent the day resting and watching movies and anime with my fiance. We watched the first episode of part six of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. So far, I'm not loving it. This is the first part with a female main character and it shows. I don't appreciate how overly sexualised Jolyne is immediately. I'll keep watching it at some point but right now, I'm not super interested. I just watched Chicago for the first time and watching another piece of media about women in prison (even if they aren't there for long) is not capturing my interest. My fiance showed me an episode of an old anime he used to like so I showed him an episode of Ouran High School Host Club, which I watched back in year 7, and he liked it so much we watched a second episode! We also watched Mad Max: Fury Road together. Later on, we watched Josie and the Pussycats, which he highly enjoyed and I would highly recommend.

#catholic #catholic women #eastern catholic #christianity #christian living #christian faith #christian women #orthodoxy #eastern orthodoxy #jesus #jesus christ #catholic life #everyday reflections #everyday life #faith journey #daily grace #spiritual living #reflections on life #reflections #quiet faith #graceful moments #catholic blog #mindful living #daily inspiration #faithful heart #soulful living #gratitude journal #sacred moments #great vespers #lent 2024

[nighthive-skindeep]

Progress report 1 [I meant to make one sooner but decided not to]

NIGHTHIVE//SKINDEEP Project created: 10/02/2022 Expected release date: 03/15/2023 Day 99

Hello everyone! I remembered I'm supposed to do progress reports, per my itch.io page, oops Let's start with the GUI <3 So, I wanted to go for a subtitle-esque look for dialogue and text, the yellow is usually easier to see than other colors unless the bg is also yellow. I also added outlines on all of the text so its easiest to read. I deleted the text and namebox. Font is subject to change, but it's the clearest one I've found that I think is fitting and accessible, lmk if it's hard to read at all. Here's a screenshot of the font and colors, though :)

More below:

I haven't worked on the save screen yet, but I set up a cute gif for the main menu animation. I plan on coding a trophy room for the endings earned (beloved, loathed, hero, etc.). Characters besides MC also have color-coded names and personal outlines for dialogue, default text is outlined in black, Bresklyn's is pink, etc. Here's a cropped screenshot of her w her dialogue >w<

(so low res ough) I've been planning out and drawing cgs, but almost all of the assets besides that are done. The game currently has a health system (I haven't coded the health bar yet), wrath points (increases violence), and pity points (:]), as well as the obvious love points for every character. Player can receive traits that will change parts of the game, such as addictions. Promise you won't overdose, okay? You can also choose your species, and receive special buffs depending on who you are. Finished the toyhou.se page for the new character, I'll make it public when the game releases, other updates to the rest of the nighthive characters will come at that time as well. I'm adding some special saves if I can, so there are special endings and whatnot. I have 10 coded right now. Special saves will make it so player can get endings they normally can't get in the game, no matter what choice/route they may choose. I am unsure if this function will work, I'll be sure to have my lovely beta testers try it before release. That's all I can say right now! Tomorrow is day 100 of development aha, I'll post more updates when I have something to report on! <3 Do let me know if you know how to: o Put the player's chosen name in their namebox o Make it look like MC is opening their eyes slowly I can't figure these out and have trouble putting what I need into words in the searchbar ;w;

#nighthive//skindeep #murder sim #murder oc #stalker oc

[paperstarwriters]

People don't often interact with my #just thinking posts so Idk if people ever see it at all, but even then, I wanna throw this out there and just keep myself accountable.

Warning for Anxieties, implied suicidal ideation, academic stress

This is a post about some of my current struggles, I'm not talking about that in depth—the main point is more hopeful I think—but the topic is there.

there's been this song I've been listening on loop to recently; Look at the Sky by Porter Robinson. It's really sweet, and really nice and alongside, Something Comforting, Get Your Wish, and You are Enough (which, unlike the others is by Sleeping at last) it's a really uplifting and encouraging set of songs that has helped me out a lot in encouraging me through my studies.

As the semester comes to an end however, the stress continues to build and grow and with it, my panic and fear.

I have no official diagnoses, but I know well enough that there's something askew in there. A little tender part that's vulnerable to failure and stress and so many other things.

And this is why I just keep coming back to Look at the Sky.

It's the chorus.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

It reads like a promise to me. Mainly because of the second line.

I'll be alive next year.

I'll keep myself here, today so I can make it to next year.

Idk. Porter Robinson mentions how it's about the creative cycle of taking in other people's work to create a new tapestry of creativity, but I always linger on this song for my studies rather than any of my creative writing.

I'm not very good at what I'm studying at, and I can't help but associate my talent in the field with how much I should like it. The study is interesting, and when I'm not constantly worrying about failing projects or failing quizzes or failing exams, the content is fascinating and fun to learn.

But I don't do well on the assignments.

I'm not failing. I'm not so horribly behind on all my assignments that I know that I'll fail or something, but I can't help but feel the need to get at least 90% on everything. It's fear driven I think. My parents wanted that of me when I was a child. the sentiment continues to linger on in me.

I didn't do so great on a single assignment this time. It's for a project—one I need to complete in order to pass the class at all. But I messed up on the formatting and I left a few tails undone at the end. It was incredibly rushed and a miracle that I had it finished at all, but I still can't help the sickening feeling that I should have done better. Even if I was staying up way past what was healthy for me, something that would cause me general dizziness and heavy sickness later on in the day, I still felt like I should have exerted myself more to check up on it and get it nice and pretty and polished.

I haven't gotten my grade back for that assignment yet. and I can't help but feel sick thinking about it.

I know that logically, the portion of my grade that would be affected might be pretty small, and I've done pretty well in the rest of my assignments. I'll probably be able to pass the class.

Still I can't help the feeling that If I don't do perfect on every single assignment, I will fail.

I have to hand in a physical copy of the assignment tomorrow, I felt so sick going back over my digital copy— forced to look at all of my sloppy and messy mistakes. I felt fear looking at it.

I felt a lot of things, really. Nasty, dark and irrational things.

But...

I'm still here.

I'll continue to try and be here tomorrow too. And the day after that. I'll make it to next year.

And even if I don't do great in that class, I can still make it to the degree I want. It'll take a little stress and struggle, but I'll get there eventually.

And until then, I can still make good things—I can write the little stories, and one shots and fanfics that make me happy.

Look at the sky, I’m still here I’ll be alive next year I can make something good, oh Something good

I promise.

#PLEASE READ TAGS #implied suicidal thoughts #tw anxiety #I don't think people are going to see this much if at all #so I'm not gonna ban reblogs quite yet #I probably will at the first signs of containment escape but yeah. #If you're my mutual/follower who has interacted with a lot of my stuff before and you think this speaks to you #I don't mind you reblogging it #I can't tell if I want people to see this or if I want it to remain hidden... #Idk #anyways #just thinking #❤️‍🩹 #tw stress #tw academic stress

[parisian-nicole]

A Miami Vice Fic: Free Falling (Chp. 2)

Free Falling Chapter 1: https://parisian-nicole.tumblr.com/post/670694538491363328/a-miami-vice-fic-free-falling

****

"Yeah, I really think Oscar Carrera is gonna take the bait on this one. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when I told him about how I traffic through my legit club," Tubbs stated as he drove them back to the Gentlemen's Club where Castillo, Gina, and Switek had decided to meet up for their debriefing. Given how big this case was and how powerful Carrera was, they didn't want to risk being tailed. They had to keep their cover at all times. "Hey," He finally shot a glance to Trudy who stared at the dashboard half listening to him, and half thinking about seeing Sonny. She had opted to wait until they had arrived at the club to say anything. She knew if she had mentioned while still at the party Tubbs could have possibly blown their cover to try ad confront Sonny. "What's up with you, Trudy?" You've been quiet since I found you waiting at the bar for me. C'mon you ain't mad that I had to leave you like that, are you?"

"No, it's not that," She replied as she looked up and out the windshield. "Something crazy and totally unexpected happened tonight."

"What happened?" Tubbs frowned up can he continued to look between Trudy and the road. He was in full over-protective big brother mode now. "Did some punk mess with you at that party?"

"No, he wasn't a punk," Was all she offered as Tubbs pulled his car into the alleyway that led to the back of the club, which was where the real owner and workers usually parked. Trudy could see that Castillo, Gina, and Switek's cars were already there, so they were waiting inside. "

"Well, who was it, what happened?" Tubbs continued his probing as he parked and then turned off the car. Trudy graced him with an endearing smile. She was always touched whenever he, Sonny, Switek, and even their Lieutenant would try to look out for her. All ready to whoop ass to defend her honor if needed.

"I'll tell you all about once we get inside, let's go," She opened the door and exited the car then made her way to the back door of the club. Tubbs was right behind her. He stepped around her and used the keys he was given to unlock the door and then held it open for Trudy to enter first. Once inside there entered a small corridor that veered to the right to take patrons to the bathroom, while the locked door on the left was for employees only. It was where the owner's posh office was and also had numerous smaller rooms where the ladies got ready. That side was almost half as big as the main side of the club, which was straight ahead from the corridor.

"Hey you two," Switek was the first to greet them having noticed their entrance first. He had been seated on the edge of the stage across from where both Castillo and Gina sat waiting at the table right in front of the stage.

"How was the party," Gina asked as she eyed Trudy up and down in mild envy at how beautifully she wore her dress. "And I am borrowing that dress someday, count on it," She added on and Trudy threw her a smile as she moved and seated herself at the table beside Gina.

"It was fantastic," Tubbs replied as he slapped and then rubbed his hands together, all with a pleased grin on his face. "Carrera is definitely interested. We've set up another meeting here tomorrow night so he can see the operation first hand. It was definitely a good idea to start 'working' here for the last month and really set up that back story. And now that the workers have gotten to know me as their new boss, it'll make it all seem more real to Carrera."

"Yeah, good thing we were able to convince the D.A. to cut, the previous owner, a deal if he cooperated. It helped that he came in and made the announcement that you would be taking over the business, and assured them all they would still have the same job as before except with a new boss and new hostess," Switek said as he pointed to Trudy.

"I feel really bad that once this is all over this place will be shut down and all those girls will be out of a job," Gina said with a grim look on her face.

"Doubt it," Tubbs interjected. "Every last one of the women working here is turning tricks on the side. Us closing this place down ain't gonna change that fact. They'll just have to find another place to meet their Johns."

"Yeah, back out on the street corner, where they're likely to get snatched up by a pimp and put to work three times harder with a quarter of the pay," Gina countered and Tubbs fully understood what she was saying. "At least in here, they have a safe place to meet the Johns and keep all of their earnings."

"It's not up to us," Castillo spoke out around a heavy, deep sigh, wanting to end this particular discussion. "Thankfully, the DEA has worked out a deal to allow us to use it for the time being and convinced the previous owner to play along. What time is your meeting with Carrera?"

"10 pm," Tubbs answered.

"Can you have everything set up by then?" Castillo looked at Switek as he spoke.

"Yeah," Switek said with a nod as he looked around the room. "The previous owner has already installed a state-of-the-art surveillance system in here. I will just splice into it and tie it to our equipment. Whatever is lacking I'll get. It'll definitely be done before the meeting with Carrera."

"There's something else we have to be concerned with," Trudy finally spoke as she looked at each of the faces in the room before she continued. "Tonight, I saw Sonny," She said the words and then paused to allow the others to let what she had said sink in. They all held the same confused and stunned scowl on their faces, even Castillo. "And I don't mean I saw someone I thought was Sonny. I mean he walked right up to me, introduced himself as Sonny Burnett, and then asked me out. We're having lunch tomorrow at the Miami Beach Boardwalk."

"Wait, what?" Gina was the first to speak out aghast. "He's still undercover? Was his death all a ruse?" She directed this directly at Castillo, as anger began to fill her at the thought that they had been led to believe their close friend had been killed in the line of duty.

"No," Trudy cut back in before any other questions could be asked. "He's not undercover. He really believes he's Sonny Burnett. When we talked, when I looked into his eyes," She shook her head slightly as she recalled the moment. "He didn't recognize me. He had absolutely no clue who I was. He's living the life of Sonny Burnett and he's the main enforcer of the Carrera organization."

"Oh my God, so he's got some kind of amnesia?" Gina asked.

"Looks that way," Trudy confirmed.

"Trudy, baby, I hope you're telling a bad joke right now," Tubbs said as he shook his head. "Because if Sonny is alive and he's Carrera's enforcer…"

"He's one of the most wanted criminals in Dade, Monroe, and Broward County," Castillo announced and the only one not surprised by this news was Tubbs.

"Yeah, he's been blasting dealers throughout Miami and surrounding cities," Tubbs stated. "Strategically taking out Carrera's competition. Miguel Carrera was actually talking about it tonight, about their badass enforcer who was so cold-blooded he'd blast any fool, even cops. Now that I think about it, he did call him Sonny too."

"Jesus," Switek huffed out.

"So, what's the new play here?" Tubbs asked Castillo whose jaws clenched as he stared down at the tabletop.

"Same as before," Castillo replied. "Bust Carrera and bring down his organization. Do you think you'll be able to handle working the Sonny situation on your own?" He asked Trudy.

"Yeah, he's definitely interested in seeing me again, and I definitely want to help him if I can," She answered honestly.

"The assignment isn't to help him, it's to bring him in for his crimes, same as with Carrera," Castillo declared glibly. "We don't know the full story of what has happened to him, and we can't concern ourselves with that right now. If he really believes he's an enforcer and he's killing people, he'll be brought to justice just like everybody else. If you can't set aside personal feelings and do your job then I don't want you involved, and that goes for all of you," He spoke this as he casually looked to each of them as they sat quietly. None of them wanted this reassigned, they all knew that the best chance of bringing Sonny in alive was if they handled the case themselves.

"I understand the assignment, Lieutenant, and I'll do my job like I always have," Trudy declared. "I can work the case by keeping company with Sonny, and I'm sure Tubbs can work things from the Carrera side," Tubbs nodded in agreement.

"What about Caroline and Billy," Gina threw out. "Shouldn't we tell them that Sonny's alive?"

"No, not if Sonny really thinks he's one of the bad guys," Tubbs replied. "Them knowing could compromise the case and blow Sonny's cover as well as ours. Sonny might think he's one of Carrera's people but memories or not if they ever discover who he truly is they'll kill him," They all nodded to this very true assessment.

"Well, things just got a whole lot more complicated, didn't it?" Switek stated.

****

The Lunch Date

****

"You know, darlin," Sonny spoke from across the small bistro table he and Trudy sat at. She had picked a small French restaurant where some of the seating was outside the storefront under a large awning. He sat with legs crossed and looked out of place dressed to the nines in an expensive dark Armani suit over a white dress shirt. Today he went more casual than he usually would and didn't wear a tie, and although his hair was still slicked back, he didn't have his signature ponytail. "I'm not a cheap date nor am I expecting anything in return for treating you to lunch," He said with a smile and she smirked back at him but sent a curious look.

"Well, that's good to know."

"I mean to say, you could have picked a classier place, where they require reservations and make you dress up and seat you inside to eat," He continued as he cautiously eyed the male waiter who settled their ordered food and drinks onto the table. Trudy waited until the waiter was done and had walked away before she replied.

"I like this place," She said with a shrug. "And don't let the looks of it fool you; they have really good food. Besides, I didn't exactly dress for finer dining," When she said this Sonny lustfully raked his eyes over her frame which she had caught him doing a few times since they had met up. She wore hot pink shorts that hit her at her upper thigh but weren't too short to be indecent. And though the shorts needed no help staying on her she had a thin silver belt looped through them as an accessory. She matched the shorts with a white camisole shirt that showed her toned belly and white sneakers. She wore her thick, bone straight breast-length hair up and a high ponytail with a heavy bang. It was always windy on the boardwalk and she knew this was a style that would keep her hair looking carefree but still under control, instead of looking wild, frizzy, and crazy.

"You look amazing," He complimented as he let his eyes linger on her crossed legs. She blushed sweetly at his words and internally struggled with her body to keep still and not squirm under his heated gaze.

"Thank you, and you look very handsome, Mr. Burnett. Overdressed but very sharp," Trudy assessed his attire as her eyes danced over his frame. He simply smiled and nodded to acknowledge her words. "But aren't you hot?" She giggled out as she actually saw sweat beads popping up on his forehead.

"Yeah, I'm roasting over here, actually," Sonny replied as he chuckled, amused by her amusement of his situation.

"So, why don't you lose the jacket?" She suggested and with a smile still on his face, he unbutton the jacket, leaned forward a bit, and then tugged each arm from the sleeve. He then laid the jacket on one of the two vacant chairs at their table, which was just to his right. "Now don't you feel better? Trudy said while subconsciously letting her eyes drift over his body before they settled back up to his eyes, which were locked on to her hungrily. She gasped a little at the intensity she saw in his eyes. They sat like that for what felt like hours, both seemed physically unable to look away.

"Sail away with me," Sonny suddenly threw out and his words garnered a surprised and confused look from Trudy. Before she could question him, he went on. "I came here in my boat. It's docked just down at the Marina."

"I don't get on boats with men I don't know," She replied through a gentle smile, and his own smile broadened.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good rule to live by," Sonny replied as he nodded a little but never lost her gaze. "But you know me, don't you?" He posed to her and her smile faltered a bit as she looked at him curiously and wondered had he regained some memory of her or their friendship. "We met last night, remember? I'm Sonny Burnett," He joked and she let out a nervous chuckle, mildly disappointed he hadn't really remembered anything. "And you're Ms. Trudy Jackson. See, we know each other," He then leaned across the table some as he continued to speak. "C'mon, Trudy, we won't go far, and I'll have you back in time for you to get to work."

"But we haven't even eaten anything yet, Sonny," She said in the hopes to dissuade him. The truth was she wasn't too keen to be trapped on a boat out in the ocean with this familiar stranger before her.

"I'll feed you on my boat, c'mon, let's go," He spoke this as he pulled out his wallet, pulled out two bills, and tossed them on the table. He then reached across the table, grasped her hand, and pulled her up as he himself stood. At this point, he didn't seem to care for any further protests from her as he firmly held onto her and steered them through the crowd. Sonny Crockett would have never manhandled Trudy like this. He had only tried it once and she had cursed him out so badly she was sure she had actually struck some fear into him. But Sonny Burnett, she could tell, was a man that was used to getting his way, and wasn't big on asking and would probably never beg for anything. No, he'd just take whatever he wanted, this was not lost on Trudy as she followed where he was now leading her.

****

Sometime Later

****

"Will there be anything else you needed, Mr. Burnett?" The slender-built, balding 50-something man asked as he stood beside the beautifully set table. The man was the owner of a very high-classed Italian restaurant that Trudy had always wanted to try but it was out of her tax bracket. She couldn't ever justify in herself paying $30 for one slice of lemon-honey semifreddo dessert even though she had been dying to try it.

"No, thanks Giorgio, everything was perfect," Sonny answered and then wiped his mouth with his napkin. He had genuinely enjoyed the meal, which was a plus to him considering how much it all cost for the last-minute catered order. But to him well worth it for the company he was currently keeping.

"Yes, it was all so delicious, thank you," Trudy chimed in after she too wiped her mouth. Giorgio simply bowed and then waved his staff to clear the table. Then they would clean everything in the kitchen, pack up, and leave.

"C'mon darlin, let's go down to the lounge area where it's more comfortable," Sonny said this and then pushed back his chair and stood. He moved to her, pulled out her chair, and gently pulled her to her feet.

"I like it out here, in the fresh air," She stated as she tried to pull from his grip. He didn't initially let her go until she looked down at where his hand still held her arm, and then looked up at his face with an arched brow. He cast her a charming smile and then released her. She took somewhat hurried steps away from him and moved to the railing at the stern of the yacht. She grasped the railing and let her head fall back a little and then closed her eyes. She took a deep cleansing breath and just enjoyed the feel of the sun and wind on her face.

"Damn. You're beautiful," Sonny's voice pulled her attention and she opened her eyes and found him standing just at her right side. He was so close his shoulder nearly grazed hers.

"Thank you," She mustered out as she let her eyes quickly glance at his face before she turned and looked out over the ocean. He reached out and grazed the fingertips of his left hand across her neck and she slightly trembled under his touch. Her heart rate increased a tad bit with anticipation of what he might say or do next.

"I want to spend more time with you, is that possible?" Sonny asked as he trailed the back of his knuckles down her right arm before he pulled it back and pushed it in his pocket.

"Yeah, I think that's possible," Trudy replied with a nod of her head and a smile as she turned to look at him. Her smile widened when she saw the toothy smile that spread across his face. She thought it was very sweet that he appeared to be enthused that she had agreed.

"All right, how about tonight?"

"I already told you I have to work tonight."

"Yeah, I know but as it turns out I'll be at your job working too. My boss has a meeting there with your boss. So, I thought when we're both off duty we could hang out."

"I'm usually dead on my feet and no fun after a long night of work, Sonny. I just like going home and sleeping," She tried to deter his offer.

"Okay, well at least let me take you home," He tried a different tactic, and she could see that he was really trying. She didn't want to seem too eager but also didn't want to push him away to the point that he might just lose interest altogether.

"I usually drive myself to work … but I could have one of my co-workers pick me up tonight, and then you can give me a ride home."

"Then it's a date?" He said as he held out his right hand to initiate a handshake, which she assumed was to seal the deal.

"Yeah, it's a date," She giggled, rolled her eyes dramatically, and grasped his hand with her right hand, and shook it. Sonny then suddenly tugged her closer until she pressed against his chest and they were nose to nose. They both stood like that for a few seconds seemingly mesmerized by the other's mouth. Then Sonny closed the distance and captured her mouth with his own. The kiss was tender and sweet, and they both thought the other tasted divine. Trudy couldn't help herself as she reached her right hand up and rested her fingertips against the nape of his neck. In response, Sonny clamped both of his hands around her tiny waist and held her even closer. The feel of his current excitement that was pressed against her belly brought Trudy back to her senses and she pulled from the kiss breathlessly. She bowed her head a bit. "We should head back now. I have errands I have to run before I head into work." She could feel Sonny smile against the side of her face. He then leaned in and kissed her right temple.

"All right, I'll take you back."

****

Sometime Later

****

"This is a safe house I've never been to before, but at least the neighborhood is clean and nice," Gina spoke out as she grabbed a couple of bags from the back of her convertible.

"Well, from the outside it looks perfect," Trudy replied as she grabbed a few more bags and the luggage she had packed from her car. All of the items were things she brought from her home to make this fake home seem legit. "I'm just glad the Lieutenant could find something for me on such short notice," She made her way up the steps and unlocked the door. It was a very nice two-story townhouse, which was already nicely furnished. Trudy was very pleased to see that the furnishings were very much in tune with her own style.

"Wow, this is beautiful. No wonder I couldn't find a nice place like this when I was looking. The department is buying them all up to use as safehouses," Gina joked as she entered and closed the door behind her.

"All right, let's get to decorating, and then off to work we go," Trudy said as she entered the living room.

****

Later that night

****

"Trudy!" A female voice called out to her over the loud music in the club. Trudy lifted her attention from the patron she had checked on to make sure they were seated and being served. Her eyes landed onto one of the floor girls as they called themselves. The curly-haired blonde nodded towards the door, and Trudy turned to see Ruby another floor girl who also did hosting with Trudy. They alternated and allowed each other some time to get out and mingle and dance. But tonight, Trudy had told the girls to keep a lookout for a group of guys who would be coming in around 10 pm, so she could take care of them personally for the boss. When Trudy turned towards the door, she found Ruby checking hats and coats of Oscar Carrera, his son Miguel, Sonny, and two other men she was sure were also guards. Trudy rushed over to get them seated.

"Good evening gentlemen and welcome to the Member's Only club," Trudy greeted with a smile as she moved behind the station where she booked the guest in. She purposely tried not to look directly at Sonny, but she could feel the heat of his gaze upon her. "What names are your reservations under?" She asked as she looked between Oscar Carrera and Miguel. It was Miguel to answer.

"It's under Carrera, and it is lovely to see you again Ms. Trudy," He said as he leered at her. Trudy gave him a curt nod and tried not to let her face show the disgust she felt from the way he was looking at her. At that moment she did shoot Sonny a quick glance and found him frowned up and shooting a death glare at Miguel. She signed them in and then moved to lead them to the VIP booth waiting for them.

"We have your seat in the VIP section, right this way please."

"I would follow you anywhere in that dress and out of it too, Mami," Miguel replied through a lecherous smile as he licked his lips, but before he could step behind his father and the other two guards, Sonny had stopped him by grasping his arm. When Trudy had arrived at the table toward the back, but closest to the stage she noticed that only Carrera and two of the guards were taking seats. She looked back and saw Sonny was talking lowly to Miguel, and Miguel suddenly held his hands up as if he were surrendering in a fight. Miguel then nodded as he spoke. He placed his left hand on Sonny's right shoulder with his right hand placed over his chest. Miguel then smacked the back of his right hand against Sonny's chest. Sonny said nothing just stared at the man sternly and then nodded in satisfaction and they then walked over to the table together. "Please forgive me if I said anything disrespectful before, Ms. Trudy," Miguel spoke out and Trudy was genuinely surprised by this. She cut her eyes from Miguel over to Sonny who shot her a quick wink. She bit back a laugh as she realized what had happened.

"You are forgiven, please have a seat and I will let my boss know that his guests have arrived," She then waved over Gina who was fronting as a floor girl. "This is Gina she will take your orders and get you whatever you want," Trudy cast a smile to the men and then moved to head to the back office. As she was passing Sonny he reached out and placed a hand on her arm and she instantly stopped and looked up at him. He leaned in close to her ear and spoke low to her.

"You are so fucking beautiful," Was all he said and then he removed his hand from her arm. She blushed hard and smile coyly at his words. She mumbled a thank you and then hurried on her way.

After Trudy had gone to inform Tubbs that it was game time, she took a moment and went to the employee bathroom to check herself. She didn't know why she cared so much about how she looked, but Sonny's praises made her want to make sure her makeup and hair were still fresh. She knew that the short black latex dress she wore accentuated her body. The front opened just above her navel but was kept together by a string laced and tied in the front. She'd only worn it once before while undercover as a hooker, but she left the white fake fur she'd worn with it that time at home tonight. She smacked her lips a couple of times they didn't feel tacky so she knew she didn't need to retouch her lipstick. Her hair which she wore out was completely crimped and big and bold as the ends just brushed her clavicle bone. She reached up both hands and fluffed both sides of her hair. Then she smirked at herself because she knew she looked good, really good. She then exited the bathroom and made her way back out to the club. She noticed Tubbs and Carrera seated and talking through her peripheral vision not wanting to stare directly. However, she could not make out anyone else, namely Sonny who was likely right at the table guarding his boss. So, she plastered on a smile and worked the floor as the main hostess. She checked tables and patrons dancing on the floor to make sure they were having a good time. She then made her way to the bar to make the rounds there, that's where she bumped into Gina who was getting drinks for the Carrera table.

"Hey," Trudy greeted. "You need a hand?"

"No thanks, only Carrera, his son, and Rico ordered drinks. And man, you weren't kidding. About Sonny I mean, he had no idea who I was. He looked right through me like he had never seen me before in his life, and he was kind of a jerk when I was trying to small talk with him," Gina spoke with a small frown. "But I think you will definitely have better luck given the way he is looking at you right now," She glanced over Trudy's shoulder and could see Sonny standing near the VIP booth but he had his eyes locked onto Trudy's bareback. "See you later," Gina said as she grabbed the tray of drinks and took off.

"Hey Jimmy," Trudy called to one of the 4 bartenders working the long bar. "Can I get a coke, please?"

"Sure Trudy," He then grasped a can from the fridge housed under the bar, grabbed a tall glass, and sat it on the bar top in front of her. He put some ice in the glass, a straw, then he opened the can of Coke, and filled the glass.

"Swaying room as the music starts

Strangers making the most of the dark

Two by two their bodies become one…"

"Thanks, doll," She said as he nodded and moved away to another customer. She sipped the coke and willed herself to not turn around and look for Sonny. But when she looked up into the huge mirror behind the bar it didn't take her long to spot him. There he stood looking deadly, dangerous, and dastardly handsome. And also looking right back at her. She raised her glass of Coke into the mirror at him and he smiled in return.

"I see you through the smokey air

Can't you feel the weight of my stare

You're so close but still a world away…"

"Hello Ms. Trudy," A male voice called out from her left and she turned a little to regard the older heavy-set white man who seemed to be a regular, for she had seen him come in every single night for the month that they had worked the place undercover. She had heard several girls talking about how he made their skin crawl whenever they danced with him, but he was a great tipper so they put up with how touchy he was. Though all had stated they were never desperate enough to go on a 'date' with him after work. "Why don't you ever dance with me?" He asked this as he reached out his stubby fingers that reminded Trudy of sausages and gripped her arm.

"Because, Pauly," She spoke calmly to him as she removed his hand from her arm. "I already told you before, I am the hostess, not a dancer, and when I do dance, I like to dance alone."

"Aww, c'mon baby, I got a couple of Ben Franklins in my pocket and they're yours for just one dance," He smiled and moved his hand to touch her hip. Before she could react Pauly's hand was removed and the man's face contorted in pain. It took Trudy a second to realize that Sonny was now standing right at her side and had Pauly's hand twisted in his hand.

"If you ever touch her like that again, I'm gonna shoot you in your face," Sonny snarled the words into the frightened man's face and then he released Pauly's hand with a shove. "Now, apologize."

"I…. I'm …mmm, I'm so sorry, Ms. Trudy," Pauly stammered over his words as he stood wide-eyed and clearly in a panic.

"It's all right, Pauly, and he's just joking about shooting you in the face," Trudy spoke through a nervous smile. Pauly shot a glance at Sonny's stoic face to gauge if he was in fact joking, and Sonny opened his jacket slightly to show the gun holstered at his side. Pauly quickly averted his eyes to the floor and stood there trembling in fear. Trudy waved a nearby floor girl over to them. The girl made a sour face at seeing who the patron was but she hurried over regardless. Trudy hoped the meek man before them did not cause a scene or call the cops on Sonny. "Why don't you go with Mandy, I'm sure she'd be happy to take those 2 Ben Franklins in your pocket for a dance."

"Oh sure, honey," Mandy cooed out at hearing this and grasped his arm to pull him away. "I'll give you two dances in my private room in the back," She offered and this immediately captured Pauly's full attention as she let her steer him towards the back rooms. When they left Trudy turned to glare at Sonny.

"Are you crazy? You can't come up in here and threaten the customers like that, Sonny," She spewed out. "I have to work here, and Pauly is a regular customer, and a big spender here," Sonny frown up as anger started to fill him.

"I thought you told me you were just a Hostess here and not turning tricks on the side."

"I am just a Hostess and I've ever hooked in my life," She nearly growled out. "But take a look around Sonny," He did as she instructed and found that nearly every seat in the club had men with girls gyrating on their laps and a huge stage with men seated around it throwing money at the four girls dancing on it. "For most of these girls in here that is their side hustle, and they would make my work life hell if I was the reason one of their big spenders decided not to come here anymore."

"I'm sure Mandy is somewhere making him forget all about it. And now the fucker knows to keep his hands to himself."

"Yeah, probably, but still, I didn't need you to ride in to defend my honor. I can take care of myself," She attested.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Trudy, I just didn't like the way he was grabbing all over you," Sonny stated and it didn't go unnoticed to Trudy that he hadn't actually said the words I'm sorry. "Don't be mad at me, let's dance," He said as he reached over and grasped her hand.

"Aren't you working?" She asked as she glanced over to the table where Tubbs and the Carrera's appeared to be deep into their conversation.

"My guys have things covered so I'm taking a break," He said as he also glanced to his boss's table before settling his eyes back on hers. "Looks like you're taking a break too. So, dance with me," He then tugged her into his arms, raised her hand he still held nestling it between them and wrapped the other around her waist. She felt like a snake and he was the charmer who made her move to his will, as she began to slowly dance where they stood.

"I never wanted anyone like this

It's so brand new

You'll feel it in my kiss

I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

Crazy for you, crazy for you

It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you

And you know it's true

I'm crazy, crazy for you…"

Even after the song and music faded Sonny and Trudy continued their slow dance, both locked into a staring contest that neither seemed to be losing.

"Do you believe in destiny, or maybe it's fate... I don't know?" He tossed out and it was so out of character to the badass persona he presented himself to be, she tossed her head back a little and cackled out a laugh. She was relieved when he chuckled along not offended by her laughing. "Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy as hell but there is something about you, Trudy, something that I am so drawn to. I haven't been able to get you outta my head since I saw you last night. And I feel like there is something that flows between us. It's like some strong energy. Don't you feel it too?" He asked her as his face took on a more serious tone. Trudy did know what he meant and she also felt the connection, but she chalked it up to them having known each other and working together for years. They were good friends. At least they used to be. Sonny couldn't remember it in his head but was likely feeling it instead.

"Yeah, I feel it too," She conceded as she then laid her head against his shoulder. She found that she wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Tell him who he truly was but she knew it would only make the situation worse, so she bit her tongue and continued to sway with him. As she listened to the new song that had started to play her hold body stiffened.

"I'm not just looking for an answer To my prayers or my dreams It's just I feel my love needs more consistency I'm about out of luck, half out of time I'm just about to lose my mind I'm starting to lose touch with my reality

Trudy lifted her head, leaned back, and stare dead into Sonny's eyes. Sonny stared back at her adoringly as a gentle smile crossed his lips.

"What?" He questioned as he continued to move them along with the music. Trudy thought for sure that hearing Caitlyn's voice, hearing her singing the same song she sang when she was gunned down would spark something within him. But there seemed to be absolutely nothing there in his eyes, except lust that her closeness had sparked in him.

"I never wished on stars I never thought that dreams came true Yet in the midst of all my disbelief Darlin' now I feel like I am long overdue I search high and low to find my pot of gold And that's why (yeah)

"Hey," Sonny spoke out again as he moved their joined hands and brushed his thumb across her chin. She shook her head to clear it and then smiled at him.

"It's nothing, I just really like this song," She said and he took a silent moment and just listened to the song.

Someday I'm gonna follow my rainbow Someday I'm gonna reach for the sky By then if you're not ready or able

I'll pack my pride for one last time Cross my heart and pray our love won't die

"Sorry, it's a little bit too sappy for my taste," He chuckled out and she pushed against his chest a little to get him to let her go. She felt a sudden urge to get away from him. She felt guilty like she was doing something that was disrespecting the memory of Caitlyn and the love that Caitlyn and Sonny had shared.

"I need to get back to work," She said to him and as she hoped, he relinquished his hold on her, although reluctantly. Before she walked away, she moved back into his space and pointed a finger up at him. "And don't threaten anybody else. We have a bouncer," She pointed and Sonny looked over to see the big, bulky guy standing near the stage looking out over the floor. "His name is Stan and he knows how to handle anyone who gets out of hand. So, let him do his job, all right," Sonny smiled down at her and swooped in and kissed her soundly before she could protest, and when he pulled from the kiss, he had left her slightly dizzy with euphoria.

"All right, darlin. I came here in my own car. So, I'll just be hanging around until you get off, then I'll take you home," Sonny said as he left her standing there recollecting herself while he moved back to his boss's table.

****

Song: 'Crazy for You' sung by Madonna

Song: 'Follow my Rainbow' sung by Sheena Easton

#miami vice #miami vice fic #sonny x trudy #sonny burnett #trudy joplin #sonny crockett #don johnson #olivia brown

[naivesilver]

OMGGGGG it took me Libby to notice the “continua a leggere” omggggg THAT was an amazing treat!!! THANK YOUU AND THE BEST OF LUCK with your exam tomorrow!! Awww Ginaaaa, gotta love Gina dearest. Alsoo I quote Libby here: your sentence from August about Blue having better ways to get him to behave😭😭😭 Right in the feels. Pls, do post the P-swap one day!! Pleasssseee I want to see August swamped by children/little versions of himself (but not the Benigni one, too too weird😂) Jojo♥️♥️♥️

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 thank you dearest, I hope you're doing fine as well u.u

I WANT TO SEE THAT TOO I hope I'll manage to do something satisfying at some point, but for now, snippets and angst it is akshksbdkd August trying to make the main cast take him seriously for once except he's got a tiny child in his arms that doesn't agree with the plan? Sign me the fuck up

#jojo ask #I'll give August all the children I can manage #it would do him good too I think

[merrock]

thursday; important notes!

Good morning, Merrockites! I have a few things to go over this morning that I just want to touch on before diving into replies and my very long to-do list.

ONE -- Easter! We have an Easter event happening this weekend (Saturday IC, Friday, Saturday and Sunday OOC). Great time to do some cute little plots or open starters! I'll reblog the invite.

TWO -- Interest check! Please don't forget that our interest check ends on the last day of March. Make sure you've liked the post to keep your roles within the group. Tomorrow, I will be posting a sort of 'check' and tagging everyone who hasn't responded to give them a final chance to clear that up.

THREE -- Activity! Over the holiday, we know people are either really busy, or have free time. Activity checks will resume with our new requirements at the end of next week.

FOUR -- Changes! & as mentioned, we are adjusting our activity rules, to try to keep dash more active. To ease some minds, you would have to be inactive for ten days total before you are removed, and will have time to fix activity or contact us.

FIVE -- Updates! On Monday, we will be doing our usual 'first of the month' post in addition to adding new locations, and announcing April events. Stay tuned!

Because of point five, I am understandably hard at work behind the scenes. That means it might not seem like I have much of a presence on main, but I promise you that I'm here, working hard on everything (or eating peanut butter eggs). It's also a great time to shoot me an ask if you need anything updated!

Let's have a great long weekend! xx

#merrockadmin

[smollobsession]

25.3.

I'm 40. damn bro.

I finished Mark's book about not giving a fuck and it was really good.

there was a part about death that i found most intriguing, saying that if death is inevitable you might as well live until it comes. which is true and something i've been struggling with since my mom died.

Idk now if I said it in the last post but I also finished Dan's book and it was so helpful, I really wish I could force my teens to read it. (lovingly)

i'm now listening to "because internet" which is a fun linguistic study of internet language.

today i finally made crepes on the crepe maker E gave me ages ago. depression had a hold on me so i couldn't try it for ages but finally i'm there! i need to buy milk and mineral water for good pancakes but the experiment was a success!

in pogo news, I did groudon and kyogre raids and ... got nothing special :D but raiding was fun :D annoying tho that it's obvious you just can't have certain pokemon on certain levels. i played with my secondary, much lower account, and it just wouldn't let me catch groudon, even tho i won 3 raids for it. boo.

This weekend was Intense.

On friday i had my korean lesson and then met up with F for Zone of Interest. It was a great movie, I was immersed in it to the point that I kinda forgot it wasn't present. I also couldn't help but draw parallels to gaza but apparently I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Satuday was raid day and then Sunday I went to the protest. This time I got a flag and I made it all the way to the end of the protest! (minus the dancing, i went home for that :D ) it was ok despite my horrific anxiety making my back hurt and some details I didn't like (a guy spilled a bag of flour to prove some point but like... why are you spilling food while pointing out people are staving pls.) it was quite interesting how I spent most of the day today trying to see myself in pics and vids of the protest and only found ONE pic. soothes my anxiety a little, knowing i'm invisible :D

i've been following exercises from here and i've been increasing the number and length, i'm pleased! My flat is currently fairly clean and things are mostly in their place. yay mental health? and on the note of mental health i'm working on my fic again slowly too.

I did end up buying all the currently published Mo Dao Zu Shi comics :D which is 5 :D oh well! I'm also going to get a in person local Korean teacher. It'll cost a bit but it's fine I hope. Meanwhile I tested spotify and i don't like it. the organization is sadly a mess. the main feature i miss is the ability to see all songs by an artist. without that, their whole app is useless to me. I watched cooking crush and it's a really good show, I recommend it to all my friends now :D even tho the asian parent thing... it's not for me. i'm too chill toward my family even for my culture.

I got tickets for a musical in april, which i'll see with a student. (and another student is in the musical!)

had some good talks with my therapist, mainly about whether or not i care about being fat. i combined this with a chapter from mark's book, and it's quite simple i think. do i care? somewhat. certainly some mobility is not as it should be and i def want to fix that part. but a lot of my feelings about my own body are from outside. and he talks about how wanting to be something isn't the same as wanting to do the work for it, and that's basically it. would i like to be skinny? sure. am i willing to do the work for it? ... not? really? at least not now.

anyway exams are approaching, the end of this career is approaching. i'm chewing on that but so far i haven't reached anything specific. i need to write an email to the company i'm gonna ask for help, so this is my reminder to do that tomorrow :D

happy skz day :D my babies are 6! <3