#i'd fuck with fred if you know what i mean

[doom-dreaming]

i was gonna share my little guys but i decided i'm not happy with fred yet so i'm gonna keep fucking with him. stay tuned.

#bad choice of words maybe but whatever #i'd fuck with fred if you know what i mean #sorry #sorry. i'm sorry. #did find a hair that resembles his scalp scar though so 👍 #this is about sims blue team #in case that wasn't clear

[george-weasleys-girl]

Uhm, it's the last one now 🙈

Can I send you this one again? Wordsmith - Send me a trope/prompt, and your choice of either George or Fred, and I will weave you a short blurb. Please? Thank you 😌

And again with George Weasley with this prompt, "Lay a finger on her, and I will end your life, and I mean that very seriously." and this trope hurt/ comfort

I hope it's okay 🙈

Voices Carry

George Weasley x Fem!reader

Warnings: emotionally abusive relationship, gaslighting, cursing

~•~

Inspired by the song Voices Carry by 'Til Tuesday.

~•~

"I told him I was done with his bullshit," Y/N said. "Then I threw my glass of wine in his face and took off those god-awful shoes he made me wear and threw them at him too."

"And right in the middle of the restaurant, too," George laughed. "I would've loved to have seen the look on his face."

"Me too. He was too busy trying to crawl under the table for me to get a good look." Y/N gave him a sheepish grin and then looked down.

George titled his head down to get a look at her face. "You did good love. I'm glad you finally kicked him to the curb."

Y/N sighed. "Yeah, I know. But I should've done it sooner. I just kept thinking things would get better if I said or did all the right things. That he'd... I don’t know... be better, you know?" She gave a bitter laugh. "Godric, I'm such a fucking idiot."

George moved to sit beside her. "You are not an idiot, Y/N. If anyone is an idiot, it's him for not seeing the treasure he had in you. Any guy with half a brain would be proud to have you on his arm."

"Oh, um, thanks." Y/N took a sip of her wine. "That's really sweet of you to say."

"I say it because it's true."

A brief, shy smile quirked at the corners of her lips, and she took another sip of wine. "Hey - um," Y/N began. "I was wondering if I could crash here for a little while?Just until I save up a deposit for my own place."

"Of course," George put his arm around her. "You can stay as long as you need."

"Thanks," she said and leaned her head on his shoulder.

~•~

George let go of the breath he'd been holding for what seemed like ages. Over the past several months, he'd stood by helplessly as Y/N's now ex-boyfriend, Eric, attempted to mold her into a shape that didn't tarnish his precious image.

"Why do you talk so much?"

"Why do you laugh so loud?"

"Nobody wants to hear that."

"Why do you insist on dressing like that? You look terrible."

"Stop crying! God, why are you so sensitive about everything?"

"Work run late? Or were you too busy flirting with your boss?"

The bastard took and took and took from her until she was a ghost of the confident, vibrant woman George had grown to love.

"I never thought I'd hate someone," he'd confided to Fred. "But I hate him so much it hurts. Y/N just has to give me the word, and they'll never find his fucking body."

~•~

The raised voices in the back corner of the store caught George's attention almost immediately. He turned the corner, and his vision ran red. Eric had Y/N pinned against the wall, one of his fists raised.

Before he could strike, George had him by the collar, pulling him off Y/N and backward into a shelf of Extendable Ears. The display tilted, spilling its contents in all directions and causing Eric to trip and fall forward onto George, who pulled him up to eye level. "Lay a finger on her, and I will end your life, and I mean that very seriously."

Eric sneered, twisting himself out of George’s grasp. "I don't know why you want to waste your time on that worthless - "

George's fist slammed into Eric's face cutting off whatever else he was about to say. He stumbled back, cradling his bloody nose. "You broke my fucking nose!" He bellowed. The younger twin rolled his eyes and grabbed Eric's collar once more, dragging him with one hand down the stairs and through the store to the entrance. He threw open the door and tossed Eric out. "Stay away from Y/N, or next time, I'll break more than your nose," George snarled, then slammed the door shut.

~•~

"Are you sure you're ok?" George poured Y/N and himself two hefty shots of firewhiskey.

"Yeah... yeah, of course."

He eyed her over his glass but said nothing.

"Look, I'm really sorry," she said. "I never dreamed he would do something like that."

"Love, that wasn't your fault," George replied. "I still can't believe he had the audacity to strut right in as if I wouldn't wipe the floor with his pompous ass."

Y/N giggled a little at that. "I must admit it was kinda fun watching you drag him through the store."

"It was kinda fun doing it," George chuckled and then downed his whiskey. "So, umm... Fred and I have been talking. How do you like the spare bedroom? Are you sleeping well enough?"

"Uh, yeah, it's good," she smiled. "The bed is super comfy."

"That's great!" George grinned. "How would you feel about becoming our roommate?"

Y/N's eyes widened. "Roommate?"

"Yeah, I really love you being around all the time, and I'd... miss you when you move out."

Y/N went very still and very quiet for a few long moments. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I - I'd miss you too."

"You would?" George looked stunned. "Really?"

Y/N nodded. "I really would."

"So, does that mean you're staying?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm staying."

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe @drama-queen-fromthevault @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @smallsweetvanillabean @themaraudersslut @hanne-montana @greenapplegrass @el-de-phi @lizzytrees @scooby-doo1995 @phant0mkitsune @spididerman

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley x you #george weasley angst #george weasley fluff #hp fandom #hp universe

[duhragonball]

It's my birthday today, and the local grocery store was thoughtful enough to stock the Dragon Ball Z Reese's Puffs, so I'm gonna try it out. Join me, won't you?

I still can't believe this is real. I mean, Reese's Puffa is kind of surreal enough as it is. It sounds like some satirical brand meant to poke fun at sugary kids' cereals. The box says "Made with REAL REESE'S Peanut Butter", the same way a fruit-flavored beverage will claim to contain genuine fruit.

The bowl on the box art is a Reese's cup, so it basically depicts candy being served in more candy. I'm old enough to remember when they would photograph cereal as "part of a complete breakfast", and there'd be grapefruits and toast and maybe a hard boiled egg. Basically they were admitting that the cereal was so unhealthy that you needed to eat three or four other breakfasts to make up for it. I just liked the photos because they were so picturesque. Ah, to have unlimited free time to prepare a leisurely 4-course breakfast while reading the paper. I just assumed everyone else was having toast with their cereal except my family, but yeah, it never really made any sense.

I haven't even gotten to Goku yet, but first I want to talk about his spoon. I don't think we see him holding a spoon very often. He's usually a chopsticks kind of guy, or he'll just use his bare hands or even dunk his head into the bowl. It kind of looks like a ladle when he holds it like that, which implies he cooked this bowl of candy soup all by himself, and he's showing it off like a proud chef. This spoon kicks ass, is what I'm trying to say.

But the real reason I bought this is because of that orange hillbilly who needs no introduction. I wasn't even looking for Reese's Puffs. It was the furthest thing from my mind. No, I was stocking up on the old-man cereal I require to survive, when I just saw him staring at me, with his friendly-yet-confident smile. Goku's not pressuring you to buy the cereal. He's sure you'll enjoy it, but it's okay if you want to take a pass. He'll just enjoy all this peanut butter chocolate goodness all by himself. Goku is truly the ideal spokesman. How can you say no to this lovable hunk?

I'm kind of out of touch when it comes to cereal marketing, but I'm pretty sure this sort of cross-promotion is a rarity. Like, they once put WWE wrestlers on Wheaties or something, but usually if the cereal companies want a cartoon on the box they'll just make their own character. Or if the cartoon people want to put their guy in the cereal aisle, they'll just commission a whole new cereal just for that brand. C-3PO had his own cereal for a while. It was pretty good!

What I'm saying is that it's kind of unusual to see a popular character like this on a cereal box. The only exception I can come up with is Fred Flintstone on Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, but I always assumed that those were specifically "Flintstones Cereal".

Other than that, yeah, I can't think of any other examples of cartoon characters appearing on unaffiliated cereal boxes like this. Well, I drew my DBZ OC on a box of All-Bran today, but I don't think that counts.

"MY FIBER IS MAXIMUM, KAKAROT!"

I wondered what was up with the picture of Piccolo on the back of the box, and it turns out that he's one of seven different characters you can find on the back of the box. Collect them all! Aw man, that Cell one looks fucking sick! I don't know how they distributed these. Maybe they roll them out in waves and Piccolo's came first. Or maybe it's random and I might have found a Cell if I'd checked more boxes at the store. Well, Piccolo's pretty good. I guess.

All right, I just poured myself a bowl and Goku's cereal is gonna have to set course for Planet Oat. The dairy industry may not applaud my shopping choices, but I like oat milk because it doesn't spoil as quickly as cow milk, and it's got a nice oat-y flavor that compliments the cardboard taste of All-Bran.

I did not put Dawn liquid soap in my cereal. This time.

So what's the verdict here? Well, the first few bites were pretty tasty, and then I realized I was getting kind of sick of this as I made my way to the bottom of the bowl. The peanut butter flavor overwhelms everything. It has a very strong odor, so if you like Reese's peanut butter cups you can just sit this out in your room and savor the aroma. I barely registered any chocolate flavor at all. I mean, I believe they put it there, but the peanut butter is the whole story to this.

It's basically Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes, only this is a special Peanut Butter variant they made. I never really appreciated the jokes about sugary cereals before. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and the like, but there were a certain class of cereals that my mom would just refuse to buy. My grandparents would have them, but I never really understood the difference between Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks. As I got older, I ate less cereal in general, but that was mostly because I fell out of the habit of eating breakfast altogether.

But now I'm 47, and the only cereal I eat these days is bran topped with diced peaches and a couple of packets of artificial sweetener, so Reese's Puffs is way, way too sugary for my palate. It's not bad, but a little goes a long way for me.

When I was a kid, old people were always griping about all the stuff they couldn't eat anymore. I remember Isaac Asimov writing mournfully about how he couldn't have an Oreo cookie, which bummed me out because that was my favorite cookie back then, and it seemed that the fate of all humanity was to be denied the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

Now, I realize that a lot of the stuff that you liked as a kid just doesn't age up with you. Your tastes change, and you gain appreciations for new things that you wouldn't have appreciated before. That's not a bad thing. It's life. Things change, and you change along with them.

Well, you and I do, anyway. Not Goku, whose Saiyan biology keeps him looking exactly the same for sixty years so he can eat all the sweetened corn puffs he wants. But I don't envy him, is what I'm trying to say. I'm watching a wrestling show on PPV tonight, my mom took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, and I drew on a cereal box. I can't complain.

#dragon ball #goku #reese's puffs #eat 'em up eat 'em up #i'm not looking forward to finishing the rest of the box #might need a couple bowls of all bran to make up for this

[alexjcrowley]

Hi, it's me, the author of the fucked everything au post, this one

I wanted to add some things, feel free to make your additions

-Sherlock is a firm believer in the Doctor, but he think Crowley is the Doctor, just disguised. He tried to nonchilantly pull his "red wig" from his head. (He has never run into the Doctor for some reason)

-Morpheus and Crowley talk shit about Lucifer when they're drunk.

-Watson and Wilson have a bet on whose partner will break the most law in a week. They're always very close wins.

-Dirk Gently and Aziraphale have become great friends, they take tea together every Thursday and they talk about all sort of stuff. Aziraphale finds Dirk captivating in his weirdness, he thinks he is a very interesting human.

-Scooby Doo is afraid of Dog (Adam's dog)

-Gregory House thinks paralibulites is made up, he steals a couple of Todd's pills to analyse them and see if they're like allucinogens but they're not. He forms an alliance with Sherlock to find out what the fuck is there in those pills.

-James Bond can imitate Benoit perfectly but Benoit can't imitate James, he can't get rid of the accent. Q finds James's impressions very amusing.

-Aziraphale and Philip talks about sweet recipes, they also exchange culinary creations, but, while Philip actually makes them, Aziraphale miracles them because he is shit at cooking. Philip always tells him that he is such a great baker and he feels like a beginner compared to him, Aziraphale smiles patting his arm and saying practice makes perfect. When Philip starts asking for details on how to make the perfect sponge cake or a mousse that won't melt, Aziraphale just miracles someone calling him because oh boy he doesn't know the first thing Philip is talking about.

-Both Sherlock and House tried to get Shaggy to sell them marijuana, unsuccessfully.

-Crowley loves to hear House going on and on about how God doesn't exist. It's hilarious for him. He has to physically stop himself from laughing. He pretends to agree with him.

-Dirk is the only one not fazed about Scooby Doo being a talking dog. When Crowley and Aziraphale are weirded out. They're trying to remember if it's one of their old miracles.

-Ascots were invented by Crowley, because they're simply an insult to style, and also he knew Aziraphale would have loved them. He is proud to see Benoit and Fred wearing them, they release a small but effective amount of evil into the world.

-I saw a post on Tumblr, I don't remember by who, that said if Benoit Blanc is with Hugh Grant it means at some point he had to choose between him and Colin Firth, you know, like in Bridget Jones Diary. This is now canon for me. Philip won Benoit Blanc's heart over Colin Firth and Philip hates talking about Colin, the idea that he could lose Benoit over him is just terrible to remember. Also Colin isn't really called Colin his name is Harry Bright. You were fools if you thought I'd leave Mamma Mia out of this.

-Dirk has heard Matthew the raven talk and Scooby Doo talk and now he is convinced he can talk to animals, that's a skill the universe granted him.

-Benoit Blanc and Aziraphale talk about fashion, obviously.

-If Q and Newton Pulsifer ever met all the computers in the world would explode.

-Also here's a small fic I read some time ago that I really love (and it's a House/Good Omens crossover) on how House and Wilson are alive and well in this au

-Dirk actually somewhat counts amongst the supernatural individuals so Crowley and Aziraphale and Dream and Hob started inviting him and Todd to their dinners. The point is Dirk and Todd haven't understood Ineffable Husbands and Dremling are supernatural individuals yet and they just think they're very eccentric folks.

-Dirk stole Crowley's Bentley once because The UniverseTM and Crowley has been trying to kill him ever since, but the Universe won't let Dirk die. This does not interfer with the Supernatural Dinners Aziraphale insists on hosting and the angel made him promise he won't try to kill Dirk at their house.

-He tries not show, but Sherlock is feeling the competitions with all of these other private detectives showing up. Especially Dirk, because he has no idea how they guy does since he looks like an idiot but he is always on top of the cases.

-Aziraphale unsuccessfully tries to buy the old medicine book Wilson gifted house for Christmas.

-Lestrade tried to stop the Scooby Doo Gang from interfering with a police case but ended up talking about cars with Fred and just...forgot he was supposed to stop these guys. He opted for closing an eye. It wasn't even his division, anyway.

-Q and Mycroft have been trying for years to obtain information on Hob Gadling, Aziraphale, Crowley and Morpheus at MI6 because, like, they're weird. They all come from families in which people always had roughly the same name for some reasons, their documents seem legit but there's something wrong about them. Also why is Crowley financing a witch hunting agency. Like yes he looks weird but not let's hunt witches in 2022 weird.

Dirk: "Your name is Sherlock? I have a friend named Sherlock!"

Sherlock: "It's not a very common name."

Dirk: "His name is Sherlock Hobbs."

Sherlock: "...Interesting."

Todd: "So you're like...you're Sherlock...and Watson."

Watson: "There are our names, yes."

Todd: "But, like, just like... Sherlock and Watson?"

Watson: "Yes. Again, these are our names."

-Benoit and Philip are very proud of Fred, they're only worried about his well being always travelling and having to deal with bad guys (especially Philip, he's scared for his son🥺), but luckily Q installed a tracking device in the Mystery Machine

-Sherlock is secretly fond of Steve McQueen the rat and will go to House's house (my God what did I write) just to pet it. House allows it.

-Sometimes Sherlock and House play together, violion and piano. They found out they have more in common than they'd like to admit and that they enjoy eachothers company, even if they'll never say it out loud.

-(btw I think it was @thesaltofcarthage to headcanon that House is Sherlock's biological father and yes it's far fetched but also I am not opposed to this at all, I like it a lot, I vibe with it so I leave this here and give her the due credits).

-The Them ask Morpheus if he is a new Horseman of the Apocalypse. Morpheus simply smiles at them and then tells Adam "My sister likes you" before going his way.

-Aziraphale dislikes Mycroft a lot because may I remind you Mark Gatiss played one of the two Nazis in the church who played Aziraphale for a fool with the book deal. The rest you know yada yada yada Crowley comes to the rescue.

-House often dreams of Fiddler's Green since he is played by Stephen Fry and he and Hugh Laurie are very close friends.

-I like to think Shaggy actually is an failed attempt at an Antichrist that didn't work out and yes he is...someway Lucifer's son. And kind of Adam's brother. But he doesn't know. Also Scooby Doo is an infernal hound like of course. And Shaggy wished for Scooby Doo to be his best friend and like food and be as scared as him of horror stuff so there you have it.

-Aziraphale knows Wilson. He knew John Keating, great professor, and he went to visit him at Welton Academy once. He remember Wilson when he was young, talentex actor, shame he went for medicine in the end, he could really have a future in the arts. Wilson tells himself his mind is playing tricks on him, the weird man he saw with Mr Keating once must be dead at this time.

Last thing I wanna add I didn't expect this whole everything-I've-ever-watched-au to resonate with people and I am happy you like it, I have fun writing but it's even better to share it with someone, please keep adding ideas and crossovers to this. All the comments and reblogs I had under my last posts were brilliant and all together we make a big brain of mind-blowing ideas.

#bbc sherlock #good omens #house md #sandman #dirk gently’s holistic detective agency #glass onion #scooby doo #james bond #00q #benoit blanc #philip #ineffable husbands #dreamling #johnlock #hilson #benoit blanc x philip #fred jones #dirk gently #brotzly #todd brotzman #mycroft holmes #hob gadling #doctor who #morpheus #sherlock holmes #john watson #mamma mia #dead poet society

[supercap2319]

Different anon, pretty please with sugar on top do a part 2 for the Archie reader Fred spanking blerb.

Fred Andrews parked the car as he got out without saying a word as Y/N and Archie followed him, thinking of a way out of this. He went upstairs towards his bedroom as they followed him before he turned and looked at them.

"Strip."

"Dad, wait. Can't you just ground me? I mean I'll never do anything like this ever–"

"Strip, Archibald. You too, Y/N. I'd rather not have to do it for you." Fred warned.

Archie blushed hard at being called his name instead of his nickname. Y/N tried not to let dirty thoughts plague his mind at the thought of Mr. Andrews forcibly taking his clothes off. He blushed as both boys stripped their clothes off until they were completely naked and embarrassed in front of a neutral looking Fred Andrews.

'Good. Now, since you're my son, Archie, you'll be first, followed by Y/N." He sat down on the edge of Archie's bed and patted his knees. "Come bend over them, Arch." The young red head blushed and refused to look up as he walked towards his dad and laid across his knees like when he was a kid. This was humiliating. Getting spanked like a six year old in front of his best friend/boyfriend. This wasn't supposed to be happening. All Archie wanted to do was protect his town from criminals. Was that so bad that he deserved a punishment like this one?

"Now, I want you to count out how many spanks I give you okay? You're both going to get eighteen of them."

"Eighteen? But dad, you've never given more than six." Archie gasped, fear in his voice.

"Hush, Archie. Take your punishment like a man. It's time you boys realize your actions have consequences." Fred told him.

Archie nodded as he tried to prepare himself, but when the firm palm of his dad's hand gave his ass a sharp smack, he gasped loudly. 'Oh, fuck!" He cursed. That hurt. It was then he remembered he was supposed to be counting. "One, dad."

"Good boy." Fred delivered another smack as Archie yelped. "Two, dad." His ass would surely be feeling these effects tomorrow. Another smack of the hand of Fred Andrews. "Three, dad." Y/N watched this happening before his very eyes and he still couldn't believe it. Watching kind and sort of laid back Mr. Andrews spank his son over his knees. The way Mr. Andrews held Archie in place and made his ass as red as his hair was kind of hot. Seeing the older man in charge and in control made Y/N's dick twitch. He didn't want to be spanked on his bottom, but he couldn't deny wanting to know what Mr. Andrews' touch felt like on his skin.

By number fourteen, Archie was crying and struggling to catch his breath. His ass was on fire and he still had three more to go. Fred knew it too as he leaned down and whispered to his son's ear. "Just four more, Arch. Taking your punishment so well." Archie nods as Fred continues the last four smacks to his bare ass as Archie breaks down and cries in his dad's arms like a baby. He's blubbering and sweating just slightly. "I'm sorry, dad. I'm so so sorry!" Archie cried and hugged his dad as Fred's gaze softened slightly. I know bud. I know you are. And now you'll know better from now on, won't you?"

Archie nods. "Yes, sir."

Fred pushed his son on his knees so he wouldn't sit on his sore and burning ass as he looked at Y/N. "Next?"

"Mr. Andrews please, I don't think that this is fair."

"It is fair, Y/N. You and Archie broke the rules and now you must be punished for not listening. Please don't make me get up and come get you." Deciding no other way out, YN walks towards him and lays over his knees like Archie had as Fred traced a finger over Y/N's bare ass, causing the young man to shiver. "Remember. Count out loud okay?"

"Yes, sir." Y/N said.

Fred begins again as Archie watches him get spanked and with each hit to his ass, he feels himself getting harder and harder until it hurts. And what's even worse, Mr. Andrews is hard too. His cock is rubbing against Y/N's as he's practically choking on his words in pure ecstasy and pain. His ass is on fire and he's on number ten as Fred spanks him once again.

"Eleven, daddy!" Y/N coughs out. He then realized what he said as he stammered out an excuse. "Sir. I mean sir."

Fred totally did not get hard from hearing that, but he pretended not to care. "Good. Almost done."

Four smacks later and Y/N was just as red and hard as Archie as Fred smiled at them. Good job, boys. I think you've learned your lesson." They both nodded their heads. And good boys deserve to be rewarded don't you?" Fred Andrews reached down and began to stroke Y/N's cock as Archie watched in surprise. The way his dad tugged and expertly twisted his hand on Y/N's cock, made the ginger stallion if his dad was more than just straight.

Y/N gasped and bit his lips as he tried not to fall over on his ass as Mr. Andrews continued to give him a handjob. "Such a good boy, Y/N. A good boy for Daddy. Want me to suck your hard cock? Maybe you want to suck me?" The young man closed his eyes and came on Fred's hand, his dirty talk pushing him over the edge. Y/N was patting and blushing as Fred smiled at him. "Wow, nice cumshot, Y/N. You're certainly good at that. Why don't you help Archie out with his problem too?"

Archie blushed and watched as Y/N nods and crawled towards him, getting between his legs before he opened his mouth and took Archie inside it. The ginger male groans and moans as Fred watches his son getting his dick sucked, palming himself through his pants and imagining it's F.P. and him doing this just like in high school back in the way. The way Y/N bobs his head up and down on Archie's length, or how his son runs his fingers through his hair and pulls as he fucks his mouth before he cums inside.

Fred grins. "Good boys. Now, go shower and we'll watch a movie and order some pizza."

[armoricaroyalty]

Previous | Chapter Start | From the Beginning | Next

transcript under the cut!

9:36 PM / February 27th, 2016

FREDERICK | [sniffling] FREDERICK | [softly] Fuck me. EMILY | Sir? Are you alright? FREDERICK | [sniffling] I'm not crying. EMILY | Of course not, Sir. FREDERICK | [laughs tiredly] Do I have to order you to use my name, Emily? EMILY | I told you, it'd be an adjustment. FREDERICK | I know. I like hearing you say it, though. EMILY | You're very presumptuous, Sir. FREDERICK | I'd deny it, but that'd make me a liar. EMILY | I brought your glasses. FREDERICK | Thank you. I forgot you had them. EMILY | ... FREDERICK | ... EMILY | ... EMILY | [clears throat] We didn't have a chance to finish speaking earlier...was there anything else you wanted to talk about, Frederick? FREDDY | Uh...was there something you wanted to talk about? EMILY | It's nothing, I just thought that— CHANDRA | [offscreen] Excuse me, Your Highness. FREDDY | [swallowing] G-good evening, Your Grace. EMILY | Baba, you're interrupting. I was speaking to Prince Frederick. CHANDRA | I know, Lamb. You'll forgive your father, I hope? EMILY | I'm not a little girl, Baba! FREDDY | Er, I should go— EMILY | [sighs] FREDDY | Please excuse me, Your Grace. I should rejoin the party— CHANDRA | You are excused. Your Highness. CHANDRA | ...You're going along with this idiotic scheme of your brother's, then? EMILY | Baba! Not so loud. Anyone could be listening. CHANDRA | [sighs] Walk with me, then. We're overdue for a conversation... JACQUES | ...you've been quiet all night. What's up? VIVI | [sighs] VIVI | Nothing. Just tired, I guess. JACQUES | Oh. [beat] Well, can I say something? JACQUES | You look really pretty. VIVI | Stop. JACQUES | It's true. You're the most beautiful woman here tonight. VIVI | Jacques... JACQUES | I really want to kiss you right now. VIVI | I don't know... JACQUES | Don't be cruel. Please, Vivi... VIVI | Jacques, I... JACQUES | Happy birthday, darling. FREDDY | ... FREDDY | Nice to see the two of you getting along for once. JACQUES | [laughs] We're married, Fred. JACQUES | You dated that redhead for what, nine months. You wouldn't get it. VIVI | [snorts] Jacques, be nice! JACQUES | It's true, that's the longest relationship he's ever had... JACQUES | ...the one before that was a month, and she dumped him by text. FREDDY | [sighs] Sometimes I wish I was an only child. JACQUES | Lighten up, dude. It was a joke. VIVI | You are so mean. FREDDY | I'm used to it, Viv. Now where's the champagne? I need a drink...

#armorica story #chapter 2 #chapter 2 part 3 #character: frederick st. fleur #character: emily chandra #character: grand duke chandra #character: jacques st. fleur #character: vivienne meijer #alcohol cw #ask to tag

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

The timeline as to when the band actually knew Freddie was ill is murky, in part because Brian's memory for time is shit, but these interview bits are interesting because they're from 1992, so his memory of recent events was probably more accurate than it is now 30 years later. He says they weren't even sure Freddie would survive The Miracle:

"'I think we all thought The Miracle was going to be last one because there were no guarantees how long Fred was gonna last at that time, and he'd been told by his doctor that he probably wouldn't last the duration of that album. So we just knew we had to press on and do what we could,' reflects Brian. 'In Freddie's mind it was totally clear to him, he just said "I want to go on working, business as usual, until I fucking drop. That's what I want, and I'd like you to support me in being able to do this and that's why I don't want any discussion about this."'

'I think we were all going through miserable, difficult times, and the studio becomes the only place where you have some sort of refuge. And I know for him it kept him alive, and even when he got to the point... he was already having problems doing The Miracle, but by the time Innuendo was there he could only just stand, and he could sing - by end of that album - just one or two days a week. It was tough psychologically having to sort of... keep it from everyone else, I suppose, because I never told my family or anything.'

...

'"You'll find things on The Miracle where we're already sort of... on The Miracle we actually managed to write stuff together, which is a miracle in itself, because we all used to be very pig-headed and very possessive about our songs. But we did, we wrote together, and there's certainly stuff in The Miracle where we're talking about what it's all gonna mean as we wind it up. You can see that now and it got very direct on Innuendo.'"

#brian may #queen #freddie mercury #queue

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Brentford 1-1 Manchester United

Usual service is resumed.

United are slow, unintelligent, lacking confidence... if this were an online, virtual game you'd have experts questioning whether Manchester United were experiencing internet lag because of how slow we were in response and in contrast to Brentford.

The first half started with the briefest spell of competitiveness... and then it fell apart in classic United style.

As per usual, the McTominay question appeared - can United play him AND Bruno in the same lineup? The thing is, I'd argue that question has been answered repeatedly and loudly - NO.

Was Casemiro fit enough to start? No, so that's fine, but was Mount?

Bruno is a gambler. He's incredibly creative but very wasteful. He's playing the odds, and this worked with the double pivot of Fred/McTominay whose skillsets complimented each other in work rate and recovery after the fact. Mainoo and McSauce do not work. Casemiro and Scotty do not work. Mount in instead will not work. The discipline and personal styles are not there to work.

McTominay is a specific type of 10, and it's about time we realised that - until the summer when we need to sell him because he doesn't want to play second fiddle to Bruno. Okay, you could sell Bruno, but then I'd be putting Mount or Amad at 10 soooooo sell sell sell. Ta.

Wan Bissaka at left back also sucks. Can't believe our medical team did ETH dirty with the "Malacia will be back soon" shit. We could have kept Reguilon, at least he is a LB. Fuck it, we should have kept Alvaro. He'd have been tearing it up by now. Or injured.

Andre Onana had a good game in goal, and has been in a solid vein of form in the last few weeks to be fair to him. It feels like despite United being gash, he's settling. Mainoo/Garna/Hojlund also were at least putting in a shift (yeah, it's that bad we're praising effort, we know).

Of course, some of the issues are, as Liam says, down to injuries. Again, I feel this might tally with the medical team assessment of players. It also might have to do with Ten Hag's training regimen, but being honest... we're not the fittest team in the league, even if we regularly look tired. Is that down to players who just can't hack it? Inappropriate training styles? Poor physio judgements about conditioning? A lot of questions that need answering quickly.

It really was an awful game though. United were dominated by Brentford and lucky not to be battered big time. At no point did it feel like we deserved a point, let alone three. We're a team SOMEHOW still chasing a Champions League spot, and yet we're struggling away at a mid-table side devoid of a win in 5-6 games.

In a similar way to the criticism Gareth Southgate is facing for not picking possession or counter-attack football, so too is Erik Ten Hag deserving criticism for his playstyle at United. We know the ETH way and how he lined Ajax up. We also know Erik said he couldn't play the Ajax way at United (wtf? then why are you here?).

United with their injuries, player shortcomings, and lack of suitability to Ten Hag's style... yeah, we probably can't play that way just yet. So then the question is why not change the tactics up? As we saw versus Liverpool, United's attack and defence is too divided. The middle isn't linking because Mainoo is 18 and not a solo pivot, McTominay cannot/will not do that, Bruno certainly won't, and Casemiro is getting too old/too rash to do it. It needs a Frenkie De Jong/Carrick type as a holder OR a Kante/Makelele to destroy. That comes in the summer you'd hope, because Mount - if he stays fit - is an 8 or 10. Not a 6.

United not having a style means the players don't know their style. They have to think, and guess what? They're shit at it. Very few braincells out there. No wonder teams are banging 20+ shots at us every fucking game. There's only so much pressing you can do, and while sometimes it's down to effort, it's also more down to intelligence and decision-making - United shouldn't have to run around like headless chickens. They should be the calibre of players to have the smarts to react and adapt. Mainoo is capable, and honestly with the amount of dipshittery going on I'd not be too angry about promoting more youth to bin off some of the seniors.

Aside Onana, the one glimmer of hope was a certain somebody getting his first United goal...

...but then minutes later we concede and draw the game we didn't even deserve a point from 🙃

Where does that leave us? Same place as before. Europe League spots despite looking wank. How we're ahead of teams I do not know. I just hope Martinez can start now and get back into rhythm, because he was shit today when we know - on form - how pivotal he is to United's good performances. Also buzzing for Mount, and hopefully he gets minutes ahead of Scotty the Friendly Ghost because we can't afford empty shirts. He bags a goal once in a while, cool, but he costs us so much more and i'm tired. I really am.

This iteration of United is not the one to return us to title contenders. If we win the FA Cup this year i'll drink my own piss I'm that confident we get bodied now or in the Final.

The saddest thing is how we can go from the jubilation of that manic FA Cup quarter final win over Liverpool - truly classic footballing drama - to miserable with a whimper of a 1-1 draw away at Brentford. Death by a thousand shots on goal.

#manchester united #man u #man united #man utd #manchester reds #erik ten hag #marcus rashford #brentford #bruno fernandes #scott mctominay #andre onana #kobbie mainoo #alejandro garnacho #rasmus højlund #mason mount #lisandro martinez #gareth southgate

[spacerockwriting]

Because I fee like I need to share this with people: here are some bits and pieces from my Gallavich story. Read below the Cut!!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I'd love to answer :)

--

Mickey stands there, staring at the stone for a bit. “She got hitched when she was 19. Popped out a kid. Had a full fucking family by the time she was thirty. Died before she hit forty. Fuck,” Mickey curses. “Almost outlived Ma.” He scrubs his face, rubbing his finger on his eyebrow. “Think I might want to give it a go, Man.”

Ian perks up. “Give what a go?”

“Kids.”

Ian’s elated. “Really?” He jumps up, ready to kiss Mickey. Mickey accepts the kiss, but nothing else.

“Save jumping me for Terry’s grave.”

--

“Unc Call!” Freddie screams with delight, Lip going to rub a finger in his ear.

“Thanks Bud. Think I’m deaf now.” He chuckles and places the toddler on the ground, letting him run into Carl’s legs. While Mickey might be one of the favorite uncles, Carl was a close second for Freddie. Something about Carl always having the best snacks, and the whole police man thing. And the boy also seemed to inherit the Gallagher need for chaos.

“Hey Fred,” Carl greets, bending down to high five the toddler.

“Unc Cal!!” He screeches over and over, chatting away to the police officer about the latest episode of Paw Patrol. Carl listens, nodding after every few words.

--

It’s not until they’re alone that Franny opens up a bit more. “That was one of the bestest days ever! Thank you,” She says, beaming at both her uncles. “Uncle Mickey, can we play Westside Liquor Store robbery?”

Ian laughs. “What’s that, Fran?”

“It’s like regular liquor store robbery only the bottles is expensive an’ an’ bougie. Uncle Mickey and me is the robbers!”

“Can I play?” Ian asks, already expecting an answer. The game was usually reserved for Mickey and Franny.

“Ummm.” Franny taps her finger to her chin. “Okay. We can shoot you.” Mickey snorts, loudly. “But only pretend shoot ‘cause Uncle Mickey will be really sad if you really really get shot.”

--

“Fuck off Phillip,” Mickey says, meeting Lip’s eyes in the mirror.

”Leave my husband alone, Lip.” Ian meets eyes with his brother. “Some people give a shit.”

Lip snorts. “Believe me, I was there for your hair straightening phase.”

Tami takes interest in the conversation. “Ian used to straighten his hair?”

“Until like, junior year or something. He started stealing Fiona’s straightner when he was in middle school.”

--

Based off something my brother thought at his baby shower:

“What’s that thing that baby’s sleep in.”

“A crib?”

“No, that other thing. For little babies. Oh! A bayonet.”

Lip starts laughing. “You mean bassinet.”

“I thought that was a dog.”

“You’re thinking of basset hound.” Lip is still laughing at his kid brother. “Don’t think Ian will let the baby have a bayonet. The thing for guns,” Lip explains to those who are confused.

--

“I like him,” Franny announces. “I know you’re married to Uncle Ian, Uncle Mickey, but if not, I think you and Mister Trevor would look really nice together.”

Mickey snorts.

“What about me?” Ian fakes a pout.

“If you and Uncle Mickey weren’t married, then I think you’d be married to Uncle Lip.”

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #ian x mickey

[petitprincess1]

If Velma bombs they probably blame it on racist, sexist and homophonic (Is there people that will just hate the show because there gay black woman lead. Yeah there probably the same people that bitch about the Owl House or how Harley Quinn ruined batman.) But that's not the whole audience.

I know this ask isn't about this, but I've watched like half of the first ep.....by god....it sucks! It's really bad...like holy shit.

First of all, the show starts off with Daphne getting shocked at hearing a noise in the locker room. She then sees a cockroach....and then another cockroach starts fucking it. That's how the show starts...cockroaches fucking. Cool...

Then the next scene is Daphne and other teenage girls engaging in typical teenage girl talk. You know when you talked about how in Pilots they have a bunch gratuitous nudity and sex to engage audiences, then Daphne says that she doesn't care for that stuff, then another girl pops outta nowhere and says how we're all secretly perverts and want sex, and then the two fighting each other? Btw, they're all naked in the shower in the locker room. ....I know that's the point of the scene, but it's just not funny and so unnatural.

Also, Velma asks Daphne after smacking her out of the showers with a hockey stick about how she feels about race-blind casting. Daphne says that as an Asian woman (yes, she brings up her race) that it's great because people love a white man playing Jesus or a professional boxer (or wrestler idc), so why it can't it go the other way. Again, all of this...very natural dialogue that definitely doesn't sound like it was made by robots that only viewed humans through political tiktok.

And then a body with no brain falls out the locker. ..............So, yeah, that was the first five minutes. It technically starts with narration from Velma, but the moment I heard fake woke shit...I couldn't listen to it. I'm 13 or 14 minutes in. I had to pause so many times to say stfu because of how pretentious, unnatural, or unfunny the dialogue was.

I understand the whole "beauty in the eye of the beholder" and all that, but whoever this show is made for...has to be blind.

Also, here's some natural dialogue that I forced myself to remember:

Daphne's mom: How long has it been since Daphne's been at your house?

Velma: Uhhhh, since my mom went missing....two years ago

~~~

Velma: I'm a suspect? I thought lesbians were good at solving crimes. That's like the one positive stereotype that's perpetuated in cop shows.

~~~

Daphne's mom: [...]You were found lurking in the showers like a gym teacher that isn't a gym teacher anymore.

~~~

Velma: Boyfriend? You think I want Fred? I mean, if someone wanted to show me a picture of him naked, I'd be all hubba hubba, but I'd say that with anyone. LeBron James, Helen Mirren, a mummy.

~~~

Velma's Dad: Velma, I love you. But I'm a lawyer so you have to trust me when I say this. People only think that you murdered Brenda because-

Velma: I was voted "Most Revenge-y" in the school yearbook, I know. Oh, those yearbook guys have no idea what's coming to them.

Velma's Dad: No, you're a weirdo. Ever since your mother disappeared, you haven't hung out with any normal kids.

~~~

Daphne: Fred? Naked? Hilarious! We've been dating a year and he hasn't even taken his pants off.

Velma: Whoa! A year? He gay?

~~~

Fred: I have an illness that makes me unable to recognize people unless they're hot. My doctor said it's like sickle cell for rich people.

Velma: Is it called rudeness?

Fred: It is! You're, like, really smart!

Velma: Really? Thank you!

Fred: Not a compliment.

#also fred duck lips when taking a selfie #........because that's still relevant #fuck this show #if you wanna kill me after reading this #im begging you to do it #end this suffering /hj #hbo velma #hbo max #hbo #ask answered #ok 2 rb #long post

[george-weasleys-girl]

Enemy Mine Pt. 5

Fred trudged home the long way, ignoring the thunder in the distance. But then, minutes later, the first drops hit him. Fucking fantastic. Oh well, why the hell not? Everything else went wrong tonight. He shoved his hands in pockets, bowing his head against the rain as his mind still reeled from his argument with Angie.

"I don't understand why making sure a girl is safe is such a bad thing? I thought you supported that kinda stuff?" Fred and Angelina had stood just outside her house while the warm breeze picked up, carrying away their words from anyone who might be listening.

"It's not bad, and I do support it," Angie threw her hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. "It's just that it's her. You abandoned me for two hours because of her?"

"What do you mean, her?"

"Her! Y/N! I see the way you watch her. Anytime she's nearby, your eyes are locked on her."

"They are not! I barely notice her anymore."

"Do you think I'm stupid, Fred?!" Angie's voice rose. "Don't you think I haven't noticed the way you look at her? Whenever she's in the Great Hall? Or Transfiguration? Or every fucking time we pass her in hallway?"

"But, I don't -" Fred began, but she cut him off.

"You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can't lie to me!"

"Angie, love -" Fred reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.

"Look, Fred, I don't want to fight. I'm tired and confused, and I just want to sleep if I can," she moved to go inside, then stopped, turning back to Fred. "Maybe... maybe we should spend some time apart."

"But -" Fred took a step toward her.

"No," she held up her hand. "I love you, Freddie. But, I won't be someone's consolation prize. You need to sort yourself out. Figure out who you - " her words trailed off, and she shook her head, then turning back, she stepped across the threshold into her house. "Goodbye, Fred," she mummered, without looking back and closed the door behind her.

~•~

"Hey there," George stood next to Y/N. She was outside the Burrow, sipping the hangover draft Mrs. Weasley had so kindly brewed for her.

"Hi," her voice was soft, and there was a light blush on her cheeks.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Mostly. Thanks to your mum," she lifted her cup. "She's really a very sweet lady."

"She has her moments." George shrugged, remaining silent for a few seconds before speaking again. "So, um, do you remember anything that happened last night?"

"Bits and pieces. Enough to know I made a complete fool of myself." She took another drink, hoping to hide her returning blush.

The younger twin waved off her embarrassed comment. "Fred and I have made far bigger fools of ourselves sober than you did drunk last night."

Y/N smiled but said nothing.

"Would like anything to eat?" George asked. "Mum just baked some fresh bread."

She shook her head. "Thanks, but no. I can't even think about food right now. And besides, I need to get home soon."

"Whenever you're ready. I promised Fred I'd get you home safe."

"Fred's not here?"

"He is, but he's no shape to be escorting anyone anywhere," George answered. "Apparently, he and Angelina had a huge fight last night, and then he got caught in the storm. He only got home a couple of hours ago. Fell flat on his face and passed out."

Y/N froze at his words. "Th-they weren't fighting because of me? Were they?"

George shrugged and gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Fuck." Y/N downed the rest of the drink.

~•~

George sat on his bed, waiting for Fred to speak. The older twin paced their bedroom.

"What do I do, Georgie? It's been almost a week, and Angie still won't speak to me," Fred sank down on his bed. "How did everything get so fucked up?"

George sighed. "Do I really need to answer that?"

Fred looked up at his brother. "Seriously? You too? You still think I have a thing for Y/N?"

His twin just shrugged.

"Aarrgh!" Fred threw his hands in the air. "Forget it! Just forget it. Everybody's apparently lost their minds. I'm going for a walk." He then stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

George knew it was pointless to chase after him right now. It'd only start another argument. So instead, with a long-suffering sigh, the younger twin flopped back across his bed.

"Stubborn," he muttered.

~•~

Y/N had the afternoon to herself and had settled down to dig in to her new book. She'd barely finished the first page when someone knocked on the door.

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @smallsweetvanillabean @igncrantbliss @28cnn @saintlike05 @millies0bsimp @yeah3459 @leeknows-wife @pandoraneverland @wickedsandwich08 @bai-wuxiangs-mask @c-yberstar @soosheee @ivvees-blog @withered-rxse @maddiedinosaur @astahsvea

~•~

#fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley headcanon #fred weasley angst #fred weasley imagine

[are-we-really-doing-this]

since i consider you a wise blog in the nu metal side of tumblr, i figured i'd ask you for help.

are there any nu metal ships you like or recommend? i've been reading so much davisdurst fics on a03 cuz there's a lot of it there, but I wanted to branch out but not sure where to start. i like korn, limp bizkit, slipknot, linkin park, crazy town, but i'm also down to check out ships of other nu metal bands and crossovers too. if shipping is not ur thing, i get it. disregard this message. just figured i'd ask since i'm not sure what other good ships are out there to check out.

Oh I adore this ask, thank you for taking the time to write it. I’ve been meaning to get back into nu metal shipping, it’s just so fucking fun.

Davisdurst is pretty much my otp but I also like any ship with Fred (names that come to mind are Head from Korn and Wes from LB) and especially any ship with JD or JDevil specifically (anyone in Korn but especially Fieldy and Munky and Chino from Deftones). Also within Limp Bizkit Sam x Wes is another very good ship with plenty of awesome fics courtesy of the fucking amazing @downtherabbitholewithlucy. They’re not super popular ships but I love the ship I call LB’s RhythmSection (John Otto x Sam Rivers) and DJ Squared (DJ Lethal and Sid from Slipknot, turntablists just understand each other like that). Had an amazing JD x Wes fic written for me once and it’s one of the best nu metal fics I’ve ever read, that ship has real potential. Oh and one time I got an ask on the confessions blog about shipping David Silveria and Shifty from Crazy Town and I’ve honestly thought about writing something for that because it sounds hilarious and could be hot as hell. I know there are some fics with guys from Linkin Park, Incubus, and Rage Against the Machine but I haven’t checked them out yet. Oh and lord in heaven, don’t get me started on the Slipknot ships. A polylover’s/multishipper’s/rarepairer’s heaven. Any of those are good but I like Clown x Sid, Jim x Corey, Paul x Anyone, Chris x Craig, and Joey x Anyone.

I totally would be down to get some shipping going with the guys from The Union Underground and Crazy Town and shit like that because they’re totally slept on shipping-wise and those are some good looking guys with writable personalities. Haven’t gotten around to it myself because…😅

Anyways, hope this helps anon! Happy shipping!

#so honored you consider me wise to both nu metal and shipping 😭 #that’s the dream baby! #my SPECIALTY 😁 #nu metal #rpf #fanfic #my anonz

[supercap2319]

Can we get some kind if continuation to the spanking ask? Maybe we feel fred get hard under us and he jerks us off while archie watches or something?

Fred Andrews parked the car as he got out without saying a word as Y/N and Archie followed him, thinking of a way out of this. He went upstairs towards his bedroom as they followed him before he turned and looked at them.

"Strip."

"Dad, wait. Can't you just ground me? I mean I'll never do anything like this ever–"

"Strip, Archibald. You too, Y/N. I'd rather not have to do it for you." Fred warned.

Archie blushed hard at being called his name instead of his nickname. Y/N tried not to let dirty thoughts plague his mind at the thought of Mr. Andrews forcibly taking his clothes off. He blushed as both boys stripped their clothes off until they were completely naked and embarrassed in front of a neutral looking Fred Andrews.

'Good. Now, since you're my son, Archie, you'll be first, followed by Y/N." He sat down on the edge of Archie's bed and patted his knees. "Come bend over them, Arch." The young red head blushed and refused to look up as he walked towards his dad and laid across his knees like when he was a kid. This was humiliating. Getting spanked like a six year old in front of his best friend/boyfriend. This wasn't supposed to be happening. All Archie wanted to do was protect his town from criminals. Was that so bad that he deserved a punishment like this one?

"Now, I want you to count out how many spanks I give you okay? You're both going to get eighteen of them."

"Eighteen? But dad, you've never given more than six." Archie gasped, fear in his voice.

"Hush, Archie. Take your punishment like a man. It's time you boys realize your actions have consequences." Fred told him.

Archie nodded as he tried to prepare himself, but when the firm palm of his dad's hand gave his ass a sharp smack, he gasped loudly. 'Oh, fuck!" He cursed. That hurt. It was then he remembered he was supposed to be counting. "One, dad."

"Good boy." Fred delivered another smack as Archie yelped. "Two, dad." His ass would surely be feeling these effects tomorrow. Another smack of the hand of Fred Andrews. "Three, dad." Y/N watched this happening before his very eyes and he still couldn't believe it. Watching kind and sort of laid back Mr. Andrews spank his son over his knees. The way Mr. Andrews held Archie in place and made his ass as red as his hair was kind of hot. Seeing the older man in charge and in control made Y/N's dick twitch. He didn't want to be spanked on his bottom, but he couldn't deny wanting to know what Mr. Andrews' touch felt like on his skin.

By number fourteen, Archie was crying and struggling to catch his breath. His ass was on fire and he still had three more to go. Fred knew it too as he leaned down and whispered to his son's ear. "Just four more, Arch. Taking your punishment so well." Archie nods as Fred continues the last four smacks to his bare ass as Archie breaks down and cries in his dad's arms like a baby. He's blubbering and sweating just slightly. "I'm sorry, dad. I'm so so sorry!" Archie cried and hugged his dad as Fred's gaze softened slightly. I know bud. I know you are. And now you'll know better from now on, won't you?"

Archie nods. "Yes, sir."

Fred pushed his son on his knees so he wouldn't sit on his sore and burning ass as he looked at Y/N. "Next?"

"Mr. Andrews please, I don't think that this is fair."

"It is fair, Y/N. You and Archie broke the rules and now you must be punished for not listening. Please don't make me get up and come get you." Deciding no other way out, YN walks towards him and lays over his knees like Archie had as Fred traced a finger over Y/N's bare ass, causing the young man to shiver. "Remember. Count out loud okay?"

"Yes, sir." Y/N said.

Fred begins again as Archie watches him get spanked and with each hit to his ass, he feels himself getting harder and harder until it hurts. And what's even worse, Mr. Andrews is hard too. His cock is rubbing against Y/N's as he's practically choking on his words in pure ecstasy and pain. His ass is on fire and he's on number ten as Fred spanks him once again.

"Eleven, daddy!" Y/N coughs out. He then realized what he said as he stammered out an excuse. "Sir. I mean sir."

Fred totally did not get hard from hearing that, but he pretended not to care. "Good. Almost done."

Four smacks later and Y/N was just as red and hard as Archie as Fred smiled at them. Good job, boys. I think you've learned your lesson." They both nodded their heads. And good boys deserve to be rewarded don't you?" Fred Andrews reached down and began to stroke Y/N's cock as Archie watched in surprise. The way his dad tugged and expertly twisted his hand on Y/N's cock, made the ginger stallion if his dad was more than just straight.

Y/N gasped and bit his lips as he tried not to fall over on his ass as Mr. Andrews continued to give him a handjob. "Such a good boy, Y/N. A good boy for Daddy. Want me to suck your hard cock? Maybe you want to suck me?" The young man closed his eyes and came on Fred's hand, his dirty talk pushing him over the edge. Y/N was patting and blushing as Fred smiled at him. "Wow, nice cumshot, Y/N. You're certainly good at that. Why don't you help Archie out with his problem too?"

Archie blushed and watched as Y/N nods and crawled towards him, getting between his legs before he opened his mouth and took Archie inside it. The ginger male groans and moans as Fred watches his son getting his dick sucked, palming himself through his pants and imagining it's F.P. and him doing this just like in high school back in the way. The way Y/N bobs his head up and down on Archie's length, or how his son runs his fingers through his hair and pulls as he fucks his mouth before he cums inside.

Fred grins. "Good boys. Now, go shower and we'll watch a movie and order some pizza."

[fanfic-inator795]

Big City Greens s4 ranking (so far...)

Overall, with its first 10 episode segments now aired, I'd say BCG s4 is off to a pretty solid start! A couple meh episodes here and there, but also some really GREAT episodes too! Going through them all:

Handshaken: Without a doubt my favorite BCG ep of this season so far. If you know me, you know how much I absolutely LOVE Bill, so it was great seeing him get to be a bit of a handshake badass in addition to his usual humble and sweet self ^v^ Seeing him teach Cricket a lesson was great, and the ep itself just had a ton of funny jokes and some great boarding. Remy trying to be 'country' was also cute and endearing.

Jingled: Honestly, it was a toss-up between this and Truck Stopped (it truly was an incredibly strong season premiere). Ultimately though I rank Jingled just a teeeeeenny bit higher since I really loved Tilly's jingles. As a creative myself, I definitely related to her whole arc. I also loved Cricket keeping an eye on his sis and encouraging her to take care of herself, even while taking advantage of a big company, haha. The stuff with Bill and Alice at the veggie stand was also really cute.

Truck Stopped: Another ep that's relatable, funny and has a great lesson. Truck stops and gas stations are a really fun setting, and for as much as they were bickering in this ep, it was also a great showcase for why these two make for such a great sibling team.

Chipped Off: This episode manages to be both hilarious and fascinating when it comes to showing what Chip has been up to since his defeat and exploring his mental state and the core flaws of who he is that led him to this point. Several jokes from this ep truly got me, and that whole scene with ‘Norm’ and the Mirror Chip was just SO well boarded and great to watch. Truly fantastic ep and a great way to reintroduce Chip (although I’ve gotta say, for as much as I usually like characters with glasses, Norm!Chip looks fucking cursed)

Stand-Up Bill: A very silly ep but also one I enjoyed, even if it was very much a farce. To probably no one's surprise, I enjoyed Bill's arc a lot, and seeing him form a genuine connection with Fred was super sweet. The stuff with Tilly and Cricket with the roast comedian was pretty fun too, and while their revenge on her was maaaaybe just a bit uncalled for (given that Cricket literally asked to be roasted) at least they didn't humiliate her in front of a whole crowd or anything like that. Just a bit of harmless slapstick.

Iced: I’m really glad this ep wasn’t JUST Alice and Nick fighting. Like Alice says, the whole Green family is kiiiinda a mess, so Nick truly does fit in in that sense. All the little subplots are both entertaining enough and are just the right amount of silly. These eps where each Green has their own little subplot are always pretty fun. Sorta standard ep, but enjoyable enough!

Coffee Mates: Pretty good ep! It was simple and perhaps a bit on the predictable side, but Cricket was in great showing here, being not only funny but also showing his responsible side as well as encouraging Gloria to be better and find her work/life balance. You feel a bit bad for all he goes through, but there's a light enough tone to it that it never feels like the kid's being tortured, and his strike afterwards was pretty funny. The ep also has a good moral, and it was nice to see everything work out.

Junk Junkie: Ehhhhh... A couple bits were funny, and I can certainly understand WHY Bill went to such extremes (I'm pretty sure the man has some sort of financial PTSD considering how many times he's nearly lost his home/gone bankrupt) the execution of the plot itself was pretty standard and didn't do much to really grab me. Not bad by any means, just okay.

Bad Dad: As the official re-introduction to Nancy's dad, I thought it was just okay. As I said in the post I made following the ep's premiere, I am glad that they redeemed Nick somewhat by making him respectful of Nancy's rules and having him actually work in exchange for living there. I also appreciated the ep for not totally villainizing Nancy's refusal to forgive her dad and not trying to force a 'fixed' bond between them - they make it clear that she's only tolerating him for the sake of her kids, but at the same time she isn't going to excuse or overlook any shenanigans either. It's not perfect by any means - I certain understand those who feel Nick still got off too easily or who see him as too bad of an influence to be kept around - but considering the type of ep it is, it could have been a LOT worse.

Green Trial: Okay so... Personal bias on the table, I can't watch this ep without thinking of the Ghost and Molly McGee ep "Innocent Until Proven Ghostly". They're just too similar (Sunnyland Productions actually did a good comparison vid about it) and TGAMM definitely had funnier jokes and a much more interesting presentation with the whole crime documentary format imo. But even without the comparison, I just felt like this ep was pretty meh in general, not being all that funny save for maybe one or two lines and just being very predictable. It just sorta seemed like an excuse plot to lead into Nick's reintroduction. Also, while I get why they'd be so sensitive (Nancy cause the cake meant a lot to her personally and Bill because, well, he just loves sweets), I felt like Nancy and Bill were just a bit too mean in this ep. Overall, this ep just wasn't very fun, and that's the most important thing I look for in BCG

So yeah, as I said, a good overall start! ^v^ My only real critique is that a couple eps could've been a bit funnier or more interesting and that we need more Remy and Vasquez (hopefully we get a couple eps focused on them later in the season). Other than that, I'm pretty satisfied and looking forward to more!

#big city greens #bcg #bcg spoilers #big city greens spoilers

[friendlyfaded]

pspspspspsps Sam\Vega?

Morgan, you're killing me, and I mean that in the best way possible. A ship between my husbands. Let's see what I can do.

So, abiding by canon, this would be a difficult ship to rationalize, but that's mostly because of Vega's lack of human morality. Sam is someone with very strong moral values and a powerful sense of justice. Some of the shit Vega has done wouldn't fly with him. That said, we've seen in the Imperium that if Vega cares enough about someone, he'll change his behavior. I'm going to run with the idea that the Imperium characters are still the same as those of the Prime universe, just after living through different experiences. As such, I'll be incorporating aspects of Imperium Vega into this analysis.

So right off the bat, we know Vega has some preestablished prejudice against humans. If we consider how old he is, that's actually pretty understandable. He makes himself out to be extremely old, and based on his latest lore drop video (Your Sadism Is Showing, Darling), he might have even been one of the original Star Children. Even if that isn't the case, he's been around for a long fucking time. He's watched generations come and go in the blink of an eye. He's watched and consumed the greed, hatred, cruelty, and vice of humanity for centuries, if not millennia. He has to feed on that negativity, so it makes sense he would gravitate toward it. It also makes sense that he wouldn't experience much of the good of humanity, as a result. It would take something big to draw his attention to a non-demon. I'll elaborate on that in a minute.

Vega also cares about the long run. One of the reasons I think he's so ambivalent toward humans in general is, like I mentioned before, because of their comparatively short lifespans. If someone is only going to be around for a fraction of a percent of the time you've been alive, why would you care much about them at all? Vampires, however, are biologically immortal. Sam doesn't age. So long as he isn't killed, he has eternity. I feel like that would change things for Vega.

Here's how I think it would go down. Quinn would be an amazing source of food for Vega. I can see him taking Quinn as a charge. This means he would likely have been there when Fred and Bright were attacked on Halloween night. He would have watched this vampire who had never met either of these human teenagers dive in without hesitation to save their lives, siring one and taking both in as his progeny. This kind of pure altruism would be something Vega is decidedly not used to. I feel like it would intrigue him.

He would be even more intrigued when he found out that Sam was looking for Quinn. Revenge, however justified or well-intentioned, is sadistic in a way. That would lead to Vega discovering the anger in Sam's heart toward Alexis. His intrigue would grow.

When Vega finally reveals himself, Sam will be wary but generally unconcerned. I'd like to imagine that skilled magic users are practiced at sensing auras, even of those who are cloaked. We learn in the Milo panic attack audio that cloaking doesn't mask the magical aura, and while demons are powerful, that works against them in the whole "staying undetected" department considering they're made of magic. So I figure Sam would recognize his magical signature. They'd get to talking, and at some point, they would start getting closer. I'm certain this would be a painfully slow burn, but it would be so worth it in the end.

Sam would end up being the more tactile of the two, if only because Vega doesn't have much knowledge on how human relationships work. He'd rely a lot on Sam to be the one making the moves. That would be a bit of a learning curve, since Sam is so used to asking and letting his partners lead to avoid causing them discomfort. That said, once Sam gets more comfortable taking the lead, and once Vega gets a better handle on how relationships work, they'd mesh nicely. They both feed on people, and their species are both heavily scrutinized. I feel like that's one thing they'd bond over. Erik makes it clear that there are many who either fear or hate demons and vampires because of their dietary needs. Sam would understand fully that Vega didn't choose to subsist on sadism, and Vega would likewise never judge Sam for needing blood to survive.

Vega would also be Sam's greatest protector. I always say that Sam deserves a chance to be taken care of. He's always the one people turn to in times of need. He's a healer, that's what he's used to. With Vega, though, he would never have to be that. He can just be him. He doesn't need to force himself to be strong for Vega, because Vega is inherently strong. Sam would know that it's okay to falter, because Vega will never let him slip. I like to think Vega would also take comfort in Sam's trust in him. That's definitely not something he's used to. Even among demons, he's often hated. Sam wouldn't care about that, though. He would see Vega as an individual, not as a monster. He would encourage Vega to use his magic to relieve humans of their sadistic thoughts and feelings. I think if Prime Vega is anything like Imperium Vega, he might be willing to try for Sam.

Final thoughts: this ship would be incredibly slow burn, and it might not work at all, but if it did, their relationship would be incredibly enduring and supportive.

#redacted rarepairs #redacted asmr #rarepairs with prof

[pixeljade]

Hey, can u tell me about the time you got out of jury with flintstones trivia?

Sure!

But it wasnt jury. It was court-mandated community service! Meaning I had to pick up trash. What happened was, I was in Portland OR, and they had a system for mass transit where you got a ticket when you paid that was good for any rides up to a certain time, unlimited transfers until then! And well...i thought I'd timed it right, but i was off by about ten minutes, and the first and only ticket checker ive ever seen in my life happened to show up then. It was just bad luck, but i ended up being called into court for it, and the punishment was community service.

Anyways, i go to my community service date, along with a crowd of about a dozen other people who fucked up similarly. Well, some fucked up WORSE than others--One guy was part of a gang apparently! But they still just had community service. And our service manager, this old guy who used to be a pro coach shows up, and says we're gonna clean up the pearl district. And thats when things got odd: because the pearl district was recently VERY gentrified, it had like. ZERO trash! So the manager guy says he wants it to be a learning experience despite all that, and his way of doing that?

Teaching us trivia.

Suddenly we're wandering around the pearl district picking up the one (1) cigarette butt per block, answering trivia questions this old coach gives us like its a fuckin game show. It felt pretty silly, honestly, but i felt right at home! My dad was a huge trivia buff, and im deeply autistic, so trivia is just fun for me! I start answering questions nobody else can get, and its getting competitive.

Anyways, a couple hours in, he pulls us aside, and says like. "Look. This is a complete waste of your time, i know it, you know it. And i CAN just sign off on your papers, get you squared away, and you get your afternoon back! But i cant make it too easy." So he gives our squad an ultimatum: we pick one representative, to answer a single trivia question in a topic of their choosing, and if they answer it correctly, we get out of the entire rest of the community service. Just like that! And since my autistic ass was winning the most, the squad chooses me. My topic of choice? Cartoons, of course its fucking cartoons!! So old guy stands there for a hot minute to think up a question. And he clears his throat and goes:

"What is the first ever couple to be shown sharing a bed on television?"

Without skipping a beat, i say back, "Fred and Wilma Flintstone!"*

The guy smiles and asks for our papers, and after a quick round of signatures, we head on our way. A few of the squad actually bought me a couple beers afterward at a nearby bar, because i just saved them a buncha time (apparently some had to come back multiple days but he just signed them all!)

Anyways, i had to report back at the court afterward with my signed document saying i did the community service. And i stand up there in front of the judge, who reads through it and he gets to the name of my manager. And he gives a sly smirk and says "Oh, that old coot. Well, did you answer the questions correctly?" And i proudly say "Yes, your honor!"

And THAT'S the story of how i got out of court-mandated community service because of a trivia question!

* - re: the trivia, the reason men and women werent allowed to share a bed on TV before was because of the Hays Code. Same dumb code which said men couldnt wear womens clothing, or vice-versa, that you hear folks complain about these days. Fred and Wilma weren't considered actual people by the law, though! So they were able to get away with having them show them in a single bed. This actually helped pave the way for future easing of the Hays Code!

#true story #the flintstones