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kitchensunflowers · 1 year

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9-1-1 lone star 4x04 thoughts! this took a bit to write up in part because i'm busy and ill lol, and in part bc i get nervous about 'writing about ableism' being my main contribution to fandom sometimes

The positives:

-- ronen and rafael were both phenomenal in this episode. ronen portraying the different stages of tk's panic, worry, desparation. rafael, as carlos dealt with injury in a scary and life-threatening situation, trying to keep control, staying ever polite as he did his best to handle his captors and find a way out. amazing physicality and characterisation on both accounts.

-- even though we saw less of the rest of cast (looking forward to you, future eps, even if the promos are stressful!), I'm really grateful, in season four, for how embodied these characters are. We only got what, two lines? maybe? from marjan and nancy but still within that totally got that marjan kind of has a big sister role to tk while nancy, like tk, is one of the kids (specifically tommy's kids, missed you tommy!); we saw a nod to grace's friendship with carlos, too which was great. (and again, can't wait to watch them have their own storylines in future eps!)

-- I mention the owen storyline below, but even though it's not my favourite, rob lowe's comedy beats as owen are great. 'Our codes are... fire' - ngl, I exhaled through my nose

-- and ofc carlos' love declarations... 'she will be at the wedding... i think she's sending her love through me' truly so emotional

i have hope for the future that there will be more mentions/memories of gwyn, more tk interacting with the reyeses (they were so excited to see him!), and more delving into tk and owen's relationship (i liked that they showed that owen's trying, but he hasn't gotten it quite right yet, and that it is impacting tk... 4x08 here we come!)

The not-so-positives (below the cut; content is mainly discussions of ableism, but also includes brief mentions of scenes from when carlos was captured, including mention of the drugging/overdose, and of the nazis and copaganda in owen's storyline):

-- the 9-1-1 cinematic universe has always had a bit of an ableism problem, which, yeah, its a mainstream procedural from hollywood, ft. regular doses of copaganda, what do i expect? i guess i hope its still worth talking about and acknowledging within fandom? idk. in any case iris mentioning that her captor had some kind of burn marks on his hand in 4x03 immediately signalled: the writers room has made a disabled/disfigured villain -- if you're unsure as to why this might be an issue, disfigurement has a long history of being used to signify evil in media (as a harmful trope), and means that a significant portion of the already highly limited representation of disfigurement on tv is as villains. disability and disfigurement are practically only allowed to exist on screen when they exist as either plot devices or as a representation of internal flaws/brokenness/villainy/evil. And this is a problem, because disabled people and people with scars or other forms of disfigurement are not metaphors. To quote disability and disfigurement activist (and author and YouTuber) Jen Campbell, "It is clear that producers are not thinking critically about disability at all. We are not metaphors; we are people." actually Jen Campbell has a video overview of this topic that I recommend watching (though content note for discussion of the h*rry potter series from the apprximately 11 through 14 minute mark), and has other great videos related to this topic as well. Or if you're more into reading an academic paper, disability scholar Paul K. Longmore's essay, 'Screening Stereotypes' (Temple University Press, 2003) is a classic.

-- so yeah, needless to say i wasn't a fan of the close up on the guy's scars to identify him as the evil man, or the discussion of how his mom believed he became villainous (framed as 'a monster' in the show) after the accident that scarred his hand. this is also not the first time lone star has linked scarring/disfigurement to villainy

-- anyway, some of the parallels in the episode also didn't work for me - the baking cookies and use of retro music parallel to the coma dream in particular. some of them did work! - i did think the narcan post-overdose parallel was meaningful in terms of TK's arc from s1 to s4, and the 2x08 parallels were fun (in the stressful storyline, notable moments kind of way) - but i feel like we've had so many parallels to significant tarlos moments within the first 4 eps and a not insignificant number of them have not landed with me personally, which ig is a little disappointing.

-- and last but not least, still not a fan of the owen storyline - the copaganda of it all, for one, and the fact that the show has yet to address that owen associating with nazis (even if his goal is to ultimately take them down) could put those around him in danger? his son, his future son in law and in-laws, the majority of his staff/colleagues at his work... we have yet to see any indication that he has taken them into consideration at all.

that all being said, i am looking forward to storylines for the rest of the 126 now! tk is forever my baby, but as much as i am here for tarlos and excited for more storylines related to tk and carlos this season, i'm not here for sidelining the rest of this amazing cast/characters, and glad to have indication from the cast that they all have interesting stories in the work.

overall, very much looking forward to what this season brings next!

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #mp #long post #these are just rambles #911 ls #911 ls spoilers #tv #idk man (gender neutral)#i wrote it out so i guess i'll post it

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 11 months

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I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

#yeah idk either i wrote this in a haze at 1 am #also i have not yet finished trimax so idk how these kinds of matters are going to be tackled or if i am way off base #if nothing else this kind of reads like one of my guilt spirals and writing it out made me realize how batshit insane i must sound #outside of my own head so if nothing else i guess it was kind of useful for that?#anyways. vash's solution to being hungry all the time is to pretend he isn't hungry for so long he doesn't know what he craves anymore #incredible.#on that note by contrast i'm intrigued by meryl and milly ordering their trademark food and drink with such confidence #also i do love how this fear of a part of himself conflicts so strongly with how incredibly confident he is otherwise #cool character choices you know?#aghhh ok i guess i'll post this before i chicken out. i can always delete it if i hate it after #trigun #trimax #tristamp #vash the stampede #storyrambles

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hephaestuscrew · 5 months

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It's so important to me that Minkowski and Eiffel and Hera spend December 25th together to celebrate Eiffel's birthday post-canon. And the hope that they spend that day together is a sentiment shared by Gabriel Urbina.

But Minkowski canonically cares about Christmas itself. Minkowski has people in her life whom she could spend Christmas with. And so there will probably have to be a difficult conversation at some point after the Hephaestus crew return to Earth, when someone says how good it will be to have Renée there for Christmas Day again. And Minkowski will have to look at her husband, or her relatives, or her in-laws - people who loved her and mourned her and celebrated upon her return from the dead - and she'll have to tell them that she won't be there on Christmas Day. And if the person who asks knows her at all, they'll see the look on her face and know that there's no negotiating to be done here.

It's not exactly that she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas with the people she used to celebrate Christmas with. But she can do that on any day near the end of December. Spending December 25th with Eiffel and Hera is something she absolutely cannot compromise on.

The main reason she'd give for this is that December 25th is Eiffel's birthday. Whether or not it matters to him as much as it used to, Minkowski wants Eiffel's birthday to get the recognition it deserves, because it was so important to him and he never expected anyone else to care or remember.

A second reason - one she might never speak aloud - is that she's always thought that Christmas is a time for family, and nowadays that means that spending it with Eiffel and Hera feels right to her.

But I think there's a third, perhaps equally important, reason underneath those two. Maybe she doesn't admit it to herself consciously, but I think part of Minkowski believes that the only people who can really understand the complicated way she now feels about December 25th are the two people who were there with her when everything went to hell on Christmas Day.

It was December 25th when they realised they'd made contact with aliens, and when Hilbert locked Minkowski outside the airlock and tried to incapacitate Eiffel and tore out Hera's personality hardware, and when everything Minkowski had thought she knew about the Hephaestus mission fell apart.

How can she exchange gifts with people for whom it isn't the anniversary of the one of the worst days of their life? How can she gather round a Christmas tree with people who've never feared for their lives at the hands of Alexander Hilbert and Goddard Futuristics? How can she eat turkey and trimmings with people who weren't there when the Christmas dinner was never eaten because there was a murderous mutiny from one of the intended guests? How can she spend December 25th with people for whom it's never been a day of betrayal and fear and loss and uncertainty eight lightyears away from Earth?

Eiffel doesn't remember that awful Christmas and that brings its own kind of pain for Minkowski. But he was there, and so was Hera, and so (no matter what anyone else expects) Minkowski needs to be with them on that complicated day.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #Renée Minkowski #Renee Minkowski #I wrote this intending to schedule it to post on Christmas Day #but I'm kidding myself if I think I can do delayed gratification like that #I have to post things as soon as I write them #so you're getting it now #Apologies if it's too early in December for Christmas-related posting #I guess I'll reblog it on Christmas Day instead #I nearly fucked up this post by mentioning Christmas traditions that I don't think are celebrated in the US #But luckily I remembered just in time that Christmas crackers are not universal among Christmas-celebrators #I almost mentioned charades but idk if that has Christmas associations in the US or even if it's widely known #I do think Minkowski would absolutely love Charades though #if she played with people on the same wavelength as her that is #Eiffel would be trying to act out very specific scenes from films Minkowski has not seen and she'd get so annoyed lol #wolf 359 spoilers #w359 spoilers #the empty man posteth

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youchangedmedestiel · 13 days

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Ask Game!

25 & 29

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

I don't remember feeling upset as I wrote something. At least not yet. My writing actually helps me process things and deal with feelings. I tend to write happy endings but if somehow I end up writing a fic that doesn't, then maybe I'll be upset. If I manage to write about widower arc Dean one day, I'll probably be upsed, maybe that's why I don't write about him (yet).

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

It's a fic that happens after 8x22, one chapter is actually a fic I read and inspired me to write more about it and then it turned into something with more than 40k words. It was one of the first fic I wrote. I was experimenting my writing actually and words just kept flowing at me. I was just trying, okay? I just finished the show I had to let this all out and I was exploring their relationship. Anyway, don't judge me please. The scene I'm sharing with you happens in Dean's room at the bunker, there you go:

“Cas, what are you doing here?” Dean asks frowning, clearly still mad at Castiel’s reaction toward the flirty waitress. Castiel stands up and presses play on the stereo to start the song “The Rain Song” from Led Zeppelin. Dean looks at the stereo with his eyebrows still frowning, not understanding what is happening, since Castiel doesn’t answer his question.

“I need to tell you something, Dean.” Castiel starts smiling, walking toward Dean, while Dean just stands there, where he is looking at him. “I know you like this band and this song. This is why I chose it. And I know you know the lyrics but please listen to them. You will understand what I want to tell you.” Dean tilts his head and parts his lips, surprised. Even though, he doesn’t remember all the lyrics, not remembering every exact word, he knows what it is about. Plus, with the worry face Castiel makes, Dean understands what is happening. This is scaring the hell out of him but it is happening and he can’t stop it, he doesn’t really want to anyway. So, he smiles at him.

“Cas” he starts, wanting to apologize for doubting him with the waitress, but Castiel stops him instantly.

“Listen, Dean.” During the first lyrics, Castiel comes closer to Dean and extend one hand toward him. “I would like to dance with you,” Castiel offers. Dean hesitates while staring at him and puts his hand in Castiel’s. Both smiles as they lean in at the same time. Dean removes his hand from Castiel’s and puts his hands on his lower back, while Castiel puts his arms around Dean’s neck. When the first lyrics are sang, he rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, while they dance slowly together.

“Listen,” he tells Dean again, whispering in his ear.

It is the springtime of my loving

The second season I am to know

You are the sunlight in my growing

So little warmth I've felt before

It isn't hard to feel me glowing

I watched the fire that grew so low, oooh, oh

“You helped me grow. You changed me, Dean.” Castiel starts when the first lyrics are over and only the melody stays, moving back his head to stare into Dean’s eyes while he cups his head with his hands. “You taught me so many things, you taught me how to feel. You taught me about free will. And I believed in it, I have faith in it, I have faith in you. I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I never used you, Dean. I never will.” Castiel says finally calling back to what happened in Dean’s first fantasy.

“Cas –“ Dean starts, swallowing his tears. “I know that now. I should have never doubted you, I’m sorry.” Dean says lowering his gaze, but Castiel lifts his head up a little bit, already missing looking into his eyes. Dean’s eyes are back staring at Castiel’s blue.

“And I’m sorry I gave you some reasons to believe I would do this to you.” Castiel’s eyes starts to be fill with tears too.

“You didn’t Cas, it’s not you. It’s me. I always think people will leave me.”

“I never will, Dean. I couldn’t. You hear me? I always come back to you at some point. When you told me that we were family, that you needed me in that crypt. You broke the hold Naomi had on me, Dean. Don’t you understand? I can’t stay away from you for too long. If I do it’s because I have no other choice and it’s to keep you safe.” Castiel’s heart is racing, carried away by the emotions invading him.

“You had a choice in Purgatory, and you chose to stay. You chose to let me leave without you.” Dean throws, remembering how hurt he felt at the time, when Castiel showed him what really happened at the gate, he even altered his own memories to avoid knowing Castiel’s left him on purpose.

“It was different I was feeling so much guilt about the Leviathans, about what I did to people, to angels and to you. I didn’t deserve to go out with you. I didn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

“You do, Cas. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I always get angry and end up hurting people I care about. Hurting you.”

“It’s not true. You are not like that. Not at all. You see yourself how our enemies sees you but they are all wrong, you too. And you do, Dean. Deserve me.” Castiel says resting his head again on Dean’s shoulder, with his face buried in his neck this time. “Now, let’s dance slowly again. I like doing that with you. And listen to the song.” Castiel smiles against Dean’s neck.

It is the summer of my smiles

Flee from me, keepers of the gloom

Speak to me only with your eyes

It is to you I give this tune

Ain't so hard to recognize, oh

These things are clear to all from time to time, ooh

Oh, oh

“You are not like you said you are, Dean. When I look into your eyes, and after all these years, all I see is the most caring human in the whole world looking back at me. You care about people, ready to risk your own life to save them. You saved the world so many times. You saved ME too.” Castiel says moving his head back again to stare into Dean’s eyes, showing how much he deeply thinks what he is telling him.

Ah, talk, talk, talk, talk

Hey!

I've felt the coldness of my winter

I never thought it would ever go

I cursed the gloom that set upon us, upon us, upon us

But I know that I love you so, ohhhh, oh

But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion

And like the wind, they rise and fall

This is the wonder of devotion

I see the torch we all must hold

This is the mystery of the quotient, quotient

Ah, upon us all, upon us all a little rain must fall

Just a little rain, oh yeah

Uhh, ooooh, yeah yeah yeah

Castiel pulls back for the third time to look at Dean again. Dean is used to it now and he knows it means Castiel still has something to tell him. “We have been through so much together, you and me. Despite or thanks to all that, today I am able to say that –“ Castiel stops taking a deep breath to put all he feels in three little words as much as possible. “I love you”. He finally confesses, letting a tear run down his cheek. Dean swallows hard and wipes it with his thumb. He guessed what Castiel wanting to tell him, knowing the song, but he needed to be sure, he needed to hear what he had to say and he needed to hear that he loves him.

“I love you too, Cas.” Dean grabs Castiel’s neck with one hand and pulls him closer. He brushes their lips together, a desperate and passionate kiss, saying ‘I love you’ in another way again. Dean is overwhelmed by Castiel’s love and kiss, not controlling what is getting out of his mouth, his emotions, his feelings for him are getting the upper hand. “My mom used to tell me that angels were watching over me. I couldn’t believe her anymore when she died. But then, I met you Cas. And you gave me faith again. You always took care of me. You always watch over me, even when I sleep.” Dean chuckles and continues his speech, more seriously, putting his heart out. “Then, I fell in love with you as I never did before. I didn’t believe I could love someone like I love you. Cas, you are the light in my life, never think otherwise. You are my angel, you always have been.” Castiel smiles fondly at Dean’s confession, feeling his heart exploding in his chest, wanting to go out of it.

“I’m all yours and you are all mine.” Castiel declares with some lust replacing the happy tears in his eyes. “The song is already finished.” Castiel observes, looking at the stereo disappointed, while the music has ended a few minutes ago, but they were too focus on each other to notice.

“The song last more than 7 minutes, Cas.” Dean reminds him, chuckling, despite he didn’t notice when it ended either.

“I know, but it’s not enough. I like dancing with you, holding you in my arms.”

“I agree, I like it too.” Dean declares smiling fondly, stroking Castiel’s jaw with one hand.

“We should do that again some time.”

#thank you for the ask #ask game #one of my first fic #just a bit of it #it's difficult to understand with the context before I guess but it's still cute anyway #I'll probably never post it #there's a lot of smut in there #one chapter is not from me #they're also pretty out of character #but I guessed I needed to write it to let it all out #to try how was my writing too because I never wrote anything before #there's a zeppelin song in it #the rain song #it was hard to find one with a slow rhythm so they could dance #one where they could talk between lyrics #I noted the timestamp between them and timed how much time the lines should take for them to say so it could fit #and also with lyrics that matched their relationship in the fic #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #writing fanfiction #ao3 writer #I wasn't one at the time #I was just writing for myself #my destiel fanfic #emms answers

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doedipus · 11 days

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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it #and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months #I forget if I posted about that #and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff #the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture #the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked #nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too #probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that #and how I want the thing to be divided up #since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu #and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign #some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii #but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other #and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story #besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc #a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal #and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something #and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with #I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research #which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue #but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check #although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line #with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself #I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively #this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.

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number5theboy · 10 months

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Has anyone missed my too long and rambly meta posts that are the equivalent of this image?

'cause I have been rotating the pilot's usage of the Phantom medley, 'I Think We're Alone Now' and 'Istanbul (Not Constantinople)' in my brain

#i feel like someone probably wrote on that way back when the first season came out but that wasn't me and i have seen no posts like it #so i'll write my own #and i'm letting you all know so that i hold myself to it #'but lizzie where are your gifsets at -' bestie your guess is as good as mine #personal

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come-down-that-tree · 2 months

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Prologue Previous

Warning: unjustified violence against a sweetie and some paaanicking :(

Come Down That Tree! (An aftermare story)

Chapter 16: Kutya pamutambo wemaruva

A week or so had passed since his little soul-to-soul with Geno and his injury…

While that arm was not fully healed yet, the other didn’t seem that bothered about it and even regained almost all of his limb’s mobility. He told them he got all of it back but Nightmare noticed how stiffly he moved it and how he favored his right even though it was obvious it wasn’t his dominant hand.

Nightmare bit into his piece of pear pie. It was sweet and juicy. They didn’t have such high-quality snacks everydays, so he was planning to enjoy it.

How long has Geno been here now?

The weather had yet to turn cold so it couldn’t have been that long.

It felt like it however.

The guardian licked his fingers clean and glanced at the other two. They were silently sharing some lemon bread.

The village must be in a good mood, it was more and more frequent to see Dream coming back bearing a full basket of food and gifts. They even now had a spare blanket and an old cushion they decided to lend to their guest.

…Do you still consider someone who stayed for long at your home and wasn’t showing any sign of moving out as a guest?

Geno met his eyes and slightly inclined his head.

He averted his gaze to watch a random blade of grass.

Oh, a ladybug.

“Is the pie any good?”

Nightmare nodded in his brother’s direction, not feeling like talking just yet.

“Nice. I’ll keep my part for later.”

If the definition of “guest” was, as of now, outdated to describe Geno then…what was he?

“I’ll put the basket away. You should go for an afternoon nap, Geno, you look tired.”

That was true the other had progressively slouched against his cushion during the meal and his dimming eyelight seemed to scream sleep.

He didn’t even answer the proposition and promptly klonked out.

That capacity to fall asleep fast and clean was impressive.

Nightmare stood up, dusting himself off and calmly helped Dream cleaning the last traces of their meal…while keeping an eye on the sleeper.

He couldn’t help but be pensive about all that.

He couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He didn't hate Geno. He didn’t fear him either, even though he saw hints again and again of how volatile and dangerous he could be.

Nothing happened recently.

It had been quiet.

They talked a lot. About books. About the sky. About childhood adventures and stories.

It was… nice.

And if he often found himself slightly leaning against his shoulder to sleep at night, that was his problem.

Two amber wells entered his field of vision without warnings and startled him.

“What are you thinking about ?”

He caught himself with one hand against the tree before answering.

“Nothing, nothing at all.”

He couldn’t say any of his thoughts, he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he told him he was thinking about how he didn’t despise Geno anymore.

“Hmmmm, I’ll let that slide… For now!”

With that said, Dream all but jumped on him and he barely avoided falling again. Shifting his feet to stand steadier, he glared at his brother.

This one was making pitiful wet eyes and he knew -oh he knew…- that he was going to be asked something he wouldn’t like soon.

“Soooo, I was thinking…”

And there it was…

“What were you thinking…?”

The doubt and carefulness he tried to convoy didn’t seem to deter his brethren. Sadly.

“You noticed how I’ve been given more gifts recently…?”

“I did… I assume the village’s mood is high for some reason?”

He got shaken quite roughlessly by that overly excited puppy.

“YES! Today is the first day of the Verflor festival so place is absolutely decked out in flowers! And there’re food stands and dances and music and we need to go!”

Nightmare gripped his arm, focusing on the sensation of a fistful of fabric under his fingers.

“We…?”

“...Yes, we. Come on! It’s been ages since the last time you went down! You didn’t even go borrow books recently…”

Dream trailed off for a second before bouncing back into his plea with gusto.

“I know we’ll have a blast! I’m pretty sure the central bookstore said they wanted to put up a stand with newly arrived finds, you can’t miss that!”

Oh he could. But the offer sounded slightly less bad after that statement, somehow. He was still not convinced.

“I’m not su-”

“And don’t wake up Geno. Guy’s great but you spent so much time with him recently. Can’t I request some wholesome brother bonding time when I really feel up to it?”

Yeah, he was not winning against this one. Might as well give up, enter the village for five minutes, find a random excuse and go back right away. Easier than to argue now.

“...Ok, fine. We can go for a bit.”

He was promptly released as Dream twirled around, looking truly enchanted by the news. After a few seconds of this show, Nightmare was once again caught by the arm and pulled harshly enough to make him stumble (again).

That day was going to be exhausting, wasn’t it?

“LESSSSS’GO!”

Surprisingly, the ruckus did not rouse Geno out of his food coma and they runned down the hill, clumsily, as they dug every once in a while their elbows into each other’s ribs.

And soon.

Sooner than Nightmare would have liked if he had a word on the matter.

They reached the village.

And, as promised, the verflor festival was in full display.

Fresh flowers -that kids must have collected early in the morning- were decorating every possible surface. Daylilies and bacopa pots were proudly displayed under each window. The mix of perfume was so strong that he wondered briefly how nobody fainted yet -as far as he knew. A bird-like teen was running around with a water can, making sure the heat was not getting to the vegetation.

That task must have taken all their focus as they almost bumped into him…and apologized without even looking.

The lean feathered guy just runned off to their next pot and fussed over a slightly damaged balloon flower.

“It’s been so long since the last time we went together to that event! How long has it been again?”

Nightmare pretended to think before giving his twin the answer he could have given in a blink.

“6 years, I think.We needed fresh flowers.”

“Ah yes I remember, maybe we should pick up some today as well?”

“...yeah, we should.”

Dream clapped his hands, looking satisfied.

“Then it’s settled! We look around, enjoy the event and pick up some plants -and maybe a book if you find something interesting?- before going home!”

And without waiting for an answer, Dream grabbed his hand and started energetically walking and making comments on how each display of flowers were installed and by who.

Surprisingly, he found himself infected by the other’s joy and quickly started truly appreciating the evening. Some people watched him curiously and some others were sending some rather nasty glares but he ignored all that and focused on his brother’s unending chatting.

They picked up some flowers and put them down their pockets, uncaring of if they’d survive the trip. A flower didn’t stop being pretty just for some bruises and missed bits after all. And both of them were now wearing flowers breaded firmly into their crowns, almost fully masking the glistening metal. Coreopsis, poppies and some treasure flowers for Dream. Delphiniums, lilies-of-the-Nile and some drooping verbenas for him.

The day was sunny and rays bounced across the windows, producing rainbows in water puddles.

The people were merry and colorful dresses and shirts were twirling around in every corner.

It was loud.

It was bonded.

It was so many things he usually avoided.

But somehow…

It was nice.

He could see a table set just down the street with books laying on. From here, he thought he could recognize a cover or two. That red one with the white handle casting a shadow of a knife’s blade, for example, was the cover of a story that was hard to forget…

“Dream, I want to make a stop at the book table just there!”

Dream didn’t answer and soon, he realized he wasn’t holding his hand anymore.

“He can’t be far, he was blabbering about some pie smell just a moment ago…”, he muttered as a self-reassurance.

When had he let go? Or was Dream the one who let go?

The streets suddenly seemed less welcoming.

It was loud.

It was bonded.

It was so many things he usually avoided.

After getting bumped into a few times (and getting insulted for it), Nightmare scooted against a wall and fiddled with his fingers, keeping an eye on the crowd moving around.

He just needed to find Dream and they could leave that place and all would be well! There wasn’t any need for stress here.

Everything was swell.

His hands were pulling on any bit of fabric he could grab onto and he really hoped it wouldn’t tear from the abuse later.

Where are you?

People are staring.

People are judging.

They’re staring. They’re staring. They’re staring.

Calm down, Night’. Deep breaths. Happy thoughts.

His legs were shaking and he couldn’t afford being seen panicking so far from his haven.

They’re staring.

That guy is staring. The children are staring and giggling at his misfortune. That mother is mocking him.

Even that dog is against him.

He needed…out!

But Dream?

Why did he leave him here alone?

Why did he drag him there at all?

Did he…?

A glint of golden metal caught his attention and he dashed in that direction.

Dream!

Unfortunately, he lost the trace fast but he kept running through a few streets just in case.

He just couldn’t bear everything so he sped off into smaller and emptier streets until he was finally alone.

Then, he crashed in this tiny dingy one-way street that smelled of anything but flowers and wept on his knees for a while.

Why must he be like that? Five seconds alone in the street and he started acting worse than a toddler. No wonder he was hated around here… He must have been such an easy target that any aspiring violence couldn’t help but look his way and see a snack.

His pants were damp from his tears before he calmed down enough to close the watergates.

The guardian raised his head to look around.

It was a fairly narrow space but some could still stand up without being squished together.

Beside the walls, he could see the sky and even the top of their tree, merely a green stain dotted with warm gold and purplish black against the blue of the day.

So small.

Nightmare sighed and vowed to only rest a bit more before heading back home.

That corner was void of flowers and he relaxed in their absence.

Wind was making dance two lonely leaves that swirled and twirled before being stopped by a wall then the ballet stopped until a new burst guided them to a new barrier and this, again and again.

Far away he could still hear some laughter and music but he ignored the background noise.

He ignored the distant steps, running and dancing, enjoying the celebration.

He ignored all those sounds to focus on the leaves, on the crown’s weight on his head, on the warm feeling traveling through his vessel of a body and some forgotten tune, he couldn’t name but felt soothing, flowed out of him.

He shouldn’t have, probably.

He shouldn’t have blocked out the rest.

Maybe if he hadn’t…

He could have slipped away in time.

Before the steps were not so distant.

Before the voices were right in front of him.

Before he was trapped with these three.

But he did, so when two monsters and a human showed up, he was taken by surprise.

After that?

There wasn’t much of a conversation. It had been a very one-sided ordeal.

They pushed him, making his thoughts rattle each time his back hit bricks.

Stay calm, they’ll get bored soon.

The purple hare tugged on his sleeves until they ripped.

He already went through this dance and song enough to know how to act to minimize dommages.

The plant bear clapped and hummed, not participating but enjoying it nonetheless.

Do not retaliate, it would only aggravate the situation.

“Ah that’s boring, let’s up the game a bit!”

He had been too boring, that wasn’t going to end well.

The last lanky teenager looked at him for a second before leaping towards his head.

“Give me that circlet thing! That’s too fancy for you!”

A scalding warmth spread through his bones at these words. And he dodged and let the guy crash against the bricks at his turn.

That was where he drew the limit.

Nightmare winced at the harsh sound of flesh hitting solid and crouched down in an action ready.

He wasn’t going to allow those to even dare touch his crown.

Soon, joyful expressions turned sour and he was attacked once again.

Some vigorous kicks made one tumble while another retreated.

One was on the ground, grumbling about stained clothes.

One was looking at him, calculating.

And the last…?

Strong arms caught him under the armpits and he was left wiggling in the air, captive by the superior strength of the bear monster who was towering over him by their sheer size.

Ah. He had lost fast.

He squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation as his aggressors came closer.

Then…

Nothing.

Silence.

A tremor runned through his holder and he wondered…

What could have made them hesitate all of the sudden?

End of chapter 16! Go to chapter 17?

@dragon-tamer-1 @shinechermont

Geno!Sans belongs to @/loverofpiggies Nightmare, Dream and dreamtale belong to @/jokublog

#Come Down That Tree!#chapter 16 #aftermare #wooooo it is twice as long as usual!#hope you enjoy that I guess I was so motivated by back to action time!#half of it wrote itself sooo easily #the rest wasn't hard but I wasn't as motivated anymore :3 #hehe two chapters during the same month I count that as a win #I'll be honest I thought about waiting to post because the opt out button has yet to appear for me but I decided it would not stop me #I'm gonna continue to create stuff and show it to you all' regardless of what could happen #I made a home here and I'll not leave because the pipes leak #have a nice day! <3

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halfelven · 11 months

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love random not even logged in readers just dropping their 'constructive criticism' on your 100k+ story that you're putting online entirely for free. this is just a rant btw

"You obviously have a great talent and I think you should work on honing it some. As much as I’ve enjoyed the story, there are a few things that stand out that you might consider looking at. I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven? It doesn’t flow smoothly because sometimes we have these wonderful character vignettes, like Illumi and Kalluto on a road trip or Kite/Leorio/Gon/Killua in an apartment where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats, like Kalluto and the spiders. In addition, it contributes to confusion because sometimes we see established characterization turned on its head. Especially the weird way everyone all of a sudden just sort of was OK with Kalluto being a spider and then working with Illumi when they just went to all that trouble to escape him? It all kind of feels forced and not natural. You know?

Anyway, I’ll definitely keep reading and look forward to seeing what happens."

first: love you trying to sound legitimate with your "in addition" like this is some kind of writer's workshop. second: in what way would I, the writer, think that an incomplete part of my story in which the reader does not yet know most of the main motivations (they are only hinted at so far) feels forced and not natural when I know what's happening, where it is going (and where I haven't had other readers comment with confusion about that part)

and moving on. don't do this. also like i said this is a wip in and no, no one is cool with Kalluto being a spider and no they're not cool working with Illumi, really. it was already established that some of them /have/ been working with Illumi before this~ he's someone that they know. like have you never been in a seriously dangerous situation that you just have to get through before you get back to what you want?*** also at this point Chrollo's real motive hasn't been entirely revealed.

Killua keeps changing his mind about what he's doing because he's a scared kid whose self-hatred is destroying him from the inside out. the POV is so tight that I have to keep dropping reminders that what is stated in the narrative is often not true! Illumi's POV, for example, keeps showing Killua as really loving him and being happy he's around but struggling with a desire for freedom, while with Killua's POV he's terrified of Illumi most of the time. like how is that not obviously a distorted POV where you can't trust the narrator?

"where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats"

this part is especially irritating because it's like yeah that's how I want to write it? this isn't a published novel. I don't have to commit to making sure every scene is important to the plot. I can spend time writing a full scene about someone drinking a glass of water and then 13 chapters in a row that are for moving the plot forward. I didn't even tag it as a novel... I did tag it for unreliable narration and I keep getting annoyed that people keep ignoring that.

"I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven?"

it's both??? it's neither??? it's a fanfic??? why do I keep getting comments lately where people are expecting me to adhere to like fucking publishing standards. this keeps up and I will write a chapter which is entirely about a minor character drinking a glass of water. watch me. I'll write one about phinks drinking a glass of water and you'll like it*

"Overall, the story is good and presented a compelling alternative to CA. Look, each fan has their own opinion on CA and I know I didn’t like it. I think it was a product of what Togashi was going through as he began to experience health issues and then finding himself right back where he said he wasn’t going to be mentally after he ended his earlier manga. We can never know for sure, but it certainly had a “watch it all burn vibe” to it near the end. I honestly believe he wanted it to end with the finality of Gon’s suicide as a capstone statement, but was probably convinced to go a different route, which kinda of left a jarring feel in the narrative and culminated in a rather unsatisfying end to Gon and Killua’s journey. Despite that, I am very reluctant to read fics where the events of CA are erased or grossly modified and honestly yours is really the first long AU/alternate timeline I’ve enjoyed"

okay first of all, I love the CA arc. but I had to split a point off where Kite was going to survive. why do you have to leave this whole paragraph about how you think Togashi was or wasn't going to go with the CA on my fanfic? I didn't even write this as 'oh look at my alternative to CA bc I hated CA' I don't really look forward to hearing comments about how random people didn't like so and so aspect of the story that I'm basing my story off of. I've never written fanfic for a story that I didn't like (except for some things that I don't have published I wrote at a request for friends for a fandom they were into that I wasn't really) and yeah I've wanted to 'fix' aspects (like tolkien's treatment of women for example) but I am not looking for your 'this is what I hated about the source material' comments on my stories

tired of getting comments with little 'oh I didn't like your style at first but now I do' or 'here's how to fix your story!' unsolicited advice from people who aren't better writers than me (I don't even want it from people who would be better writers than me on stuff I'm just doing for fun and for free)

when did stuff like this become normal? at least don't be a coward and be not logged in so you can't even get a response notification. like girl they aren't cool with it! why do you think everyone is on guard standing around like they're in a fucking hostage situation? how do you see such wildly different interpretations from different character's POVs and think it's not intentional? what part about Kite watching Killua like a fucking hawk makes you think he's going to let Illumi take him after this?

like if you've never had to smile and pretend to be cool with your abuser (pretend to love them) or someone who was threatening you to keep someone else safe then good for you! it fucking sucks! also don't know how to explain to you what a child who is growing up in an extremely isolated abusive situation goes through (though I keep writing about it in this story you should catch on...) but it's a million back and forths with emotion and feelings--especially if their abuser does (to in some way or to some degree) love them. and it is often blaming themselves. I'm not letting my years of studying human psychology and child development go to waste here**

is this story perfect? no but I'm not gonna hire an editor for a fanfic. and everyone's interpretations of characters will be different. especially with child characters who are going through huge changes in the world around them and their personal lives. part of the appeal of fanfiction is 'who would they become if this happened instead?' *sorry I keep writing about starving and not having clean drinking water but I will never stop because that's what I grew up with and it's hell. also phinks drinking water would be compelling since I assume he'd have harder access to clean drinking water

**hunter x hunter is also one of the only stories I have encountered with characters who have backgrounds as fucked up as mine and Togashi's interest in human psychology really stands out.

***like good for you but that was most of my life and you sometimes just have to shut up and get through it. and no I will not put my notes in the right order bc I'm not being paid enough****

****I'm being paid nothing

#sorry i got one too many comments that irritated me #feel free to chime in if you're getting comments like this too #it's been really getting on my nerves lately #and making me not want to post anything #you're not my teacher or editor #and i don't use a beta reader bc i'd never post anything #if i had to think of it as work and not just for me #i already do writing for work where i have to really consider the reader #i also didn't like one commenter pointing out typos #i'll catch them at some point #they were like great chapter! here's all the mistakes i saw #so download the story and fix them yourself if they bother you so much you have to run through and do line edits #if you don't want typos i'd have to wait two to three months so the story looked fresh #to catch them before posting and i'm not doing that #you can think this sounds bitchy but writing is hours and hours of work #i could jot down five sentences just for myself and have a story for years just remembering what i was thinking when i wrote those #you want a perfectly edited story? then go read a professionally published book #oh i guess that's not good enough for you either #okay now i am being bitchy but in my defense #i'm not forcing them to read it

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acaciapines · 3 days

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back on that owl house daemon au editing grind (ive been busy + writing other stuff so after editing one i sorta. stopped for a month or two lol) and. oh god i knew 2 was gonna be bad but its BAD yall. like not content-wise a lot of the actual writing + plot is totally fine and will stay but. i wrote this before i got into my grove of episode, inbetween, episode (ie 1 -> 1.5 -> 2) SO. THAT MEANS. THIS ENTIRE 30K THING IS GETTING SPLIT INTO 1.5 AND 2.....

and obvi i'll have to write a LOT bc the parts going into 1.5 and 2 are spread across the entire fic :) so uh. um. this is gonna be fun.

#chatter #and a grove of palistrom to you #lol once im done w arc one its gonna be smooth sailing #BUT THATS ASSUMING I SURVIVE ARC ONE--#anyways if you ever have wanted to ask about this au cause it'll be coming out within a month or two #i am sooooo down to procrastinate <3 #at this point it doesnt even have to be about the story idc i'll talk about my writing process. anything #i dont...want...to do this....#two you are going to be the DEATH OF ME #also 2 is the worst of arc one cause the rest needs edits for luz/mari consistency for sure #BUT NOT I HAVE TO WRITE TWO NEW STORIES LOL #like 3.5 doesnt exist but i know what it has to be. oh and i guess 5 needs a bunch of stuff added but.#adding is way easier than having to chop up what exists and figure out what can stay #what is dropped #and all the new stuff i have to write to connect things #I LOVE THIS AU. I TRULY DO. BUT GOD EDITING IS SO ROUGH #this is why the last 500k+ word fic i wrote is never getting posted lol #i could Not edit all of that. only for you owl house daemon au

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deadsince1973 · 3 months

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Tantai Jin walked out of his brother's mother's tomb (now his brother's tomb too) and strode to the throne room.

#That scene was so dramatic and wonderful!!#Till the End of the Moon #Edit: I found this post while cleaning out my drafts folder and I only noticed that I was the one who wrote it when someone else reblogged #it and I wondered why I wasn't listed in the notes as having reblogged it too. XD #The first tag here was directed at the OP but I guess since that's me I'll just take this opportunity to agree with myself. XD #original

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dandyshucks · 4 months

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i keep thinking about it and i really think the way Junebug finds out Guz likes them (because I'm an overthinking goober) is a drunk confession from him 😭

he probably gets really wasted one evening celebrating some sort of win for team skull and I'm sitting in another room where it's quiet and I'm doing something like reading or drawing, and he comes stumbling in because he misses me even though it's only been like less than an hour since he last saw me, and WAIT this is turning into an actual writing thing okay um uh - (1k words on the dot comin atcha)

Junebug looks up from their berry studies, grinning when they see what a mess Guzma is. "How're you doing there? You look a little rough around the edges," they tease, setting their book aside.

The man's face twists into a sloppy grin and he chuckles. "Nah, nah, nah, m'fine, m'fine. Jus' missed you, wanted to see ya...." He makes his (slightly stumbling) way over to the desk Juno's sitting at, before slumping down to the floor and leaning back against one of the trainer's legs. "Missed ya soooo much, missed seein' your face."

The face in question is now bright red, and Juno twists their head around to shield it from Guzma's gaze. "Sorry if I left too early, I just-"

"Nah, nah, not'n issue. Jus' like seein' your face. Havin' ya around." He leans back and sighs happily. "Makes me feel warm inside."

Face aflame, Juno sits for a moment, lost for words. "Oh, uh, I'm... glad I can... do that for you." He's not implying anything extra. You're just friends. This isn't anything other than a good friendship. Juno repeats this over and over in their head as Guzma settles even more heavily against them, leaning his whole weight against their leg now. Juno pulls themself together, the weight grounding them. "Guz, you're gonna knock us both over if you keep leaning on me like this. Here, let's adjust if you're going to hang out for a bit, okay? If you want to talk that's fine, but otherwise I'm just going to keep working on my studies here."

Guzma groans as he sits up, and Juno moves onto the floor over to the wall behind the desk.

Patting the floor beside them, they say, "Come over here, okay? Just don't crush the leaves in this bag; I'm sketching them out right now."

With another groan, he shuffles himself over to sit against the wall, before grabbing the bag Juno had held up from their lap. "S'bunch'a leaves?" he slurs out.

"Berry plant leaves," clarifies Juno. "I'm drawing them for some notes I have." They point to one of them, brushing against Guzma's hand as they do so, and say, "These one's are from the Oran plant; I brought them from home to compare with any I find here."

With a smile, Guzma grasps Juno's hand with his, carefully setting the bag down so he can bring that hand to trace the outlines of their fingers. Juno feels their face grow hot again, and they look away to the right. "Your hands are so small..." he muses, sounding almost awed.

Juno stays quiet, but turns their head back to look over at him again.

"I like your hands," he says decidedly. "Like 'em a lot." He looks up at them suddenly, a shy grin stretched across his face. "I like you a lot, too, the whole you. Every piece of ya. Nothin' I don't like." He raises a hand to place against their face. "Y'so pretty... 'n' small... like one'a my bugs..."

They can't help but laugh at that, and he laughs too, feeling them shake with mirth under his hand. "Your bugs are pretty?" Juno asks with a disbelieving smile.

"Not prettier than you. You're the prettiest bug around."

Juno laughs again, shaking their head and pulling away from him. "Guz, you're so drunk right now."

Guzma shakes his head, placing a firm but gentle hand on their face to turn it back to his. "Nahhh, I'm - ... well yeah, I'm pretty fuckin' wasted right now, I know that, I know." He laughs before continuing, "But I also know I like ya a lot an' I'm happy I'm finally tellin' ya. You really are the prettiest goddamn bug I ever saw, a little Junebug, and I'm so fuckin' glad I caught ya out in the forest that day or else the best goddamn thing in my life woulda passed me right on by!" He stares at their eyes earnestly, trying to convey just how real this all is for him.

As he talks, Juno's face softens, their eyebrows creasing up. "I'm glad I'm here, yeah," they say, pausing. They look down, opening their mouth to say more, glancing back up at Guzma's face, and then look back down as they shut their mouth again.

"Junebuuug," he says pleadingly. "You're holdin' out on me here, what're y'thinkin'?"

They shake their head, biting at their lip nervously.

He sighs. "Aight, aight, m'not gonna push ya. Lemme just sit here for a bit an' then I'll get outta your hair." He lets go of their face and leans back against the wall with another sigh. "Meant what I said though."

After a couple minutes of silence, interspersed by pencil scratches against paper, Juno finally asks quietly, "Which part?"

Guzma rolls his head around to look at them. "Huh?"

"Which part did you mean?"

He scratches the side of his nose. "Which part did I - oh, oh, wait, I gotcha. Am I really that drunk or did it just take ya forever for you to say anything?" He chuckles, slinging a hand over to shake their knee.

"Sorry, I was jus-"

"Don't worry about it, I'm just fuckin' with ya. You make it too easy!" He turns his body to face them properly and plants a heavy hand on their arm, still obviously drunk. "M'gonna say it again for you, really spell it out, aight?"

Juno bites at the inside of their cheek, looking up at him to meet his eyes, hands fidgeting.

He glances down to see that, and smiles, taking their hands in his. "I like you, Juno. An' I think you're a real goddamn catch. And I want you to stay here as long as you can, maybe forever, but I like ya and I like having you around." He pauses, searching for the right words in his alcohol-addled brain. "An' I'd give up a shit ton if it meant you'd be mine, y'know? I like ya a whole fuckin' lot."

#there was this person in highschool who I liked A Lot and . they liked me too it turned out #and we were both trying to do subtle flirting for OVER A YEAR AND A HALF. and neither of us made a proper move 😭😭#we found out we both liked each other just after they'd gotten a boyfriend so REST IN PEACE I GUESS #so i think.... i definitely would not get the hint fjdmls its gotta be a Solid Brick Thrown At My Head sort of deal for me to know LMAO #otherwise I'll just think I'm projecting fbfjdl #CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST WROTE 1K WORDS ALL OF A SUDDEN DHFJDLDL WTF #its now 12:30 midnight so its time to sleep omfg HELP. how did i just bang out one thousand goddamn words out of nowhere 😭😭#POSTING THIS BEFORE I GET TOO IN MY HEAD ABOUT IT. i did ONE quick read over to make sure it flowed decently and im NOT fixing anything mor #dandy.cmd #💜so good at being in trouble #junebug 🪲#💜a boy and his bug🪲#I'll figure out a tag for writings tomorrow fjfkfl for now GOOD NIGHT FAREWELL djdkdl #dandy.doc

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