#i was very tempted to go into detail about the other things that those individuals don't know about and see if they still found the fact

[disemboweled-fish-pastry]

Hot take time:

Consider, maybe Saeyoung doesn't actually have ADHD at all (This possibility is referenced multiple times). Of course I'm not really saying he doesn't, but a lot, if not all, of his symptoms do share traits of (c)ptsd. It's actually said that (c)ptsd has been often misdiagnosed as adhd. There is always a chance that he has (c)ptsd co-morbid with adhd, too. There have been studies that suggest that perhaps (c)ptsd can develop adhd and even vice versa.

/ᵎ\ ᴬˡˢᵒ, ᴵ'ᵐ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃʸ ᵉᵃʳˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ ᵗʳᵃᶦⁿᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ᵇʸ ᵃⁿʸ ᵐᵉᵃⁿˢ, ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡˡʸ ᵠᵘᵃˡᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ "ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉ" ᵃⁿʸ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿ ᵒʳ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ. ᴱᵛᵉⁿ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵃˢᵉ, ᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᵒᶜᵉˢˢ ᵒᶠ ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉˢ ᶦˢ ᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᶦᶜᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶜᵉᵉᵈᵘʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʳᵉᵠᵘᶦʳᵉˢ ᵈᵉᵈᶦᶜᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃ ᵗʳᵃᶦⁿᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ᵗᵒ ᵖʳᵒᵖᵉʳˡʸ ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿ. ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃ ᶠᵒʳ ᶠᵘⁿ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳ ᵃⁿᵃˡʸˢᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗʰᵘˢᶦᵃˢᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡ ʰᵉᵃˡᵗʰ ˢᵘᵇʲᵉᶜᵗˢ :⁾ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᵈᵘᶜᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵒʷⁿ ʳᵉˢᵉᵃʳᶜʰ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ˢᵘᵇʲᵉᶜᵗˢ ᶦᶠ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗ ʸᵒᵘᵎ /ᵎ\

☆ Yoosung's Hidden ADHD?? ☆

Now, Yoosung on the other hand... There are many signs he might have adhd too, to be honest. Many things are pretty subtly hinted throughout the routes, but one of the biggest pieces of evidence I've seen more blatant is that spaceship thought Jumin has about "Mr. Choi needing Mr. Kim's fidget cube". Now there is no proof that Mr. Choi is Saeyoung, or that Mr. Kim is Yoosung, in fact, I initially thought it could be his driver, but I honestly can imagine Jumin always preferring to call them more professionally by their surnames.

Yoosung is actually super bright, he's really very intelligent, but he always sees himself as stupid because he can't seem to catch up with everyone else in the organization. Almost like the God forbidden "you have so much potential, if only you could just do better". It's pretty clear that he excells in his interests and things that challenge his mind. Even the game suggests lolol is a strategy game that even Mensa certified Jumin could get into. By the end of his route, his passion to become reliable for his love pushes him to excell in his Veterenary studies.

At first sniff, Yoosung's room appears pretty clean and tidy, but there have been moments where his room is actually cluttered in his plentiful plush animals. lol Not to mention there is a whole story line where when his mom comes to visit, she makes him clean up his house.

He's pretty easily distracted too, when he intended to go to class, he convinces himself to stay home and play lolol. He is always tempted to chat up you or a friend when he's in class or supposed to be in class, or studying. Depression and anxiety can also exacerbate symptoms of neurodevelopmental disorders like adhd.

Distractibility in adhd isn't always bad thing, however. Some theorize that individuals with adhd were always inevitable, as their "distractibility" can also make them very keen observers, often with a great eye for detail, but may miss the big picture. As I've stated in a previous post, Yoosung is actually pretty perceptive and intuitive. He is quick to pick up on small details others might miss. In history people who might have had adhd-like qualities would have been beneficial with hunter and gatherers.

Before Rika's influence on him, he was rather lethargic about charity work and would always insist on deferring doing anything related when he could, almost as if a ball and chain were preventing him from doing it. It wasn't until after Rika showed him the benefits to himself, that he began to be passionate about it like Rika was/is. This isn't because Yoosung was a bad person or anything like that, but because a lack of interest in something can quite literally disable the adhd person from willing themselves to do the task until it triggers their urgency, to which in some cases the person with adhd can perform miracles, but in most cases cannot. Yoosung has also had many different interests in his past as he has stated and what you can witness within the game. Those with which he has subsequently abandoned once he decides he wants to do something else.

It is also well documented that people with adhd have difficulty controlling their emotions and that those emotions are often way more amplified than a situation might call for. Rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria), which is not currently diagnosable in the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), is also a common co-morbidity with adhd. RSD can cause catastrophic reactions to feelings of rejection, abandonment, or even loneliness.

I don't exactly know why I brought up RSD, but perhaps it's just to put a point on the fact that those with adhd may be impulsive and not always able to control their potentially intense emotions when they may occur. (E.g. bad endings, especially the "yandere" one.) Also, things related or inherent to RSD, may potentially create obsessiveness over things that they love and are passionate about.

Now as for the counter argument that he was very studious before he started university, sure, but for one thing, not all people with adhd perform poorly in school. There are many who still excell and do well. Not to mention, Yoosung even mentions he wasn't particularly passionate about anything while in school, he just did what he felt he needed to do, and that's better than feeling you have nothing else you want to do. One thing a person with adhd cannot stand is boredom or stagnation. The brains of people with adhd are already generally understimulated compared to the average brain, that's why they constantly feel like they need to have their mind and senses occupied with something that offers sufficient stimulation. Video games are often a popular obsession of those with adhd because many of their senses are constantly being stimulated while playing, and even better if it's something they enjoy.

Oh man, this wasn't meant to be the Yoosung might have adhd analysis post, but I went on a tangent, guess I'll keep it.

Of course, Saeyoung also has many of these symptoms, but I believe I should make the comparison (c)ptsd has with adhd a discussion for another day/post. Actually, them having so many of these things in common are probably one of the reasons why they seem to get along so well, as they would be able to understand eachother's feelings.

ᴵᶠ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵒʳᵉ, ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˡᶦᵏᵉˡʸ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃᵈᵈ ᵒⁿᵗᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ, ᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ᵃᵈᵈ ᶦᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ ᵗᵒᵒ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵘᵖᵈᵃᵗᵉ ⁿᵒᵗᶦᶜᵉˢ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ᵇˡᵒᵍ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᶦᶠ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ᶦˢ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗᵉᵈ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ. ᴼʳ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵘᵇˢᶜʳᶦᵇᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ, ᴵ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ. ᴵᶠ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ᵉˡˢᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗˢ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᶦᵇᵘᵗᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵉˣᵃᵐᵖˡᵉˢ ᴵ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐᶦˢˢᵉᵈ, ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵃᵈᵈ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵒⁿ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᶜʳᵉᵈᶦᵗ.

Edit log:

*Removing the social point until further notice

#mystic messenger #mysme #yoosung kim #mysme yoosung #saeyoung choi #mysme 707 #mm analysis #MM*Analysis

[starknightgirl]

MCC24 Pink Parrots Skins!

These skins were an adventure. I’m so excited that AntVenom is finally in MCC. I knew he was on the waitlist but it feels like it took forever. I’ve really been waiting because I knew it was pretty likely he’d team with CaptainSparklez. And what do you know, I was right.

If this is the first post you’re seeing of mine, hi! I have made a lot of CaptainSparklez’ team’s skins, ever since MCC14 (links: MCC15, MCC16, MCC17, MCC18, MCC19, MCC21, MCC22, MCC23). On occasion I’ve also made skins for other teams, such as the Red Rabbits of MCC Rising. Feel free to share this, just tag this post so that it links back to me. Thank you! Ok, more below the cut.

I’m using my reddit username as the signature, don’t worry I’m not stealing from anyone.

I tried to do sci-fi for this team, just like I did for MCC23 but. Maybe I’m just bad at sci-fi? It would track because I’ve had difficulties with it in the past. I was tempted to use the same parrot as I did from MCC22 but I ended up going with a slightly different design because there’s always room for improvement right?

There are a few tiny Technoblade references on these skins. Again, I wasn’t trying to make obvious references, but I did make some. Just like last time I used the Sarcoma ribbon from Reddit (with a slight edit to make them shorter). Again, I didn’t use the general lavender cancer ribbon because two ribbons seems like a bit much. In addition I put the pattern from Technoblade’s pants onto the pants (it’s really subtle).

I forwent shading this time. Honestly there’s already so much detail on these skins that I thought it would just muddle the skins more. Also I’m lazy. Really it’s just I’m lazy.

Anyways, time for the individual breakdowns.

Starting with AntVenom! His normal skin is pretty two dimensional actually. It’s probably a holdover from early Minecraft when they didn’t have the second layer. But since everyone else was going to have coats, he needed one as well. I gave him those weird points around his arms as well, though I had to cut the ones around his feet. Also, he is the reason the skins have gloves. Originally I was only going to give him gloves, but well. All the skins looked good with them.

Next up, InTheLittleWood. Just like AntVenom he didn’t originally have a coat so I made one for him. I also figured he’d want the symbol thing carried over from his usual skin. I did make it slightly smaller to fit better. Originally I was going to give him his little backpack as well (it’s very cute). But it was just a bit too noisy. It also would’ve covered up some details so. Hazard of always putting the mascot on the back I guess.

Philza on the other hand, does have a coat on his regular skin. However, I did have to make the details shorter. I also gave him his little hardcore heart as a necklace. I also wanted to keep all the details Philza recently added for Technoblade. So yes, he still has the band of purple and the little emerald earring (though both are a bit hard to see from this view). I did have to move the Sarcoma ribbon though. Also, what on earth is up with the top of the bucket hat? I did leave it the same but well. It’s so weird!

And finally, CaptianSparklez! He actually has the longest coat (though it’s actually still pretty short). Just like Philza I did have to shorten his coat. Not much to say about his skin this time really though, it’s pretty similar to everyone else’s. He does have a nice belt buckle though.

Here’s all the skins in case you want them yourself.

#CaptainSparklez #AntVenom #InTheLittleWood #Philza #MCC #MCC24 #fan art #pixel art #(sort of) #I am so excited

[elsjobproject]

So that anon got me thinking.. When did they change job quests...

Let me explain.

I started this project back in January of 2020, with Richter's quest line being the very first thing in my records.

Back then, I noticed something terrible about most of the job quests I was recording...

They all... Sort of looked like this. Looking into my backlog, where I also started recording Laby and Ain- they're completely different. Compare that with Lofty: Executor's first job quest.

Now I wasn't sure what exactly was happening... But I knew this wasn't really right? But I didn't know what to do about it.

I don't know when they changed into this format, but I DO know when they changed everything... Either back or to something completely new.

...I first thought it was

The first one I recorded that wasn't any new job or character was Blazing Heart and it looks like this

Granted, this was in September of 2022, so I definitely don't have exact dates when things changed, but either way it was a step in the right direction. Such an amazing one in fact that I...

Promptly forgot about the issue I experienced all of 2020 and that combined with how many 4th jobs I recorded up until that point excitedly began trying to play every single class I could like a madman in an effort to archive things.

...

Then I opened this blog in late 2022, confident that I was nearly done with my archival efforts.

.................

So if you ever wonder why things seem recorded so last minute, just know I DID have this things recorded, and usually plan to release the original recordings, but uh. They changed everything up on me. Whoops.

With the videos on each individual job class coming out, I'm sure they're most likely not going to be changing job quests again- unless they decided to do 4th jobs. Which... I mean I guess that's basically masterclass, and I wouldn't really want them to do anyway since that adds extra workload onto me.

So.

When did they exactly change job quests?

...

Now. An issue with this is I don't speak Korean, and was not around during 2020 Korean Elsword, so I guess this kind of ends here. I can't really tell what they were doing during then. This could be an NA exclusive issue

Now I wish I could say "I have a job quest from 2020 KR server that helps prove this may not be the case"

But although that would be nice, it wouldn't matter because I only recorded the Furious Blade 5/5 quest when someone else was doing the Jump event in 2020 very legally on their own account and barring translation differences, it is virtually the same as the 2022 version. And of COURSE I didn't record the other job quests because it was a JUMP EVENT and they let you speed through job quests........

Here it is, legally obtained of course, if you would like to fact check

(Furious Blade's Job quest, for reference)

Anyway so if it isn't an NA exclusive issue, we have no way of telling, unless someone who was using the European server or very legally using the KR server has anything from 2020 to back this up.

But, for now. Looking through the GM blog on Elsword, it's tempting to say that these are the only patch notes. But.

There was an elsword tumblr. One I can no longer find, but there was one. I suppose it doesn't particularly matter, but I promise you that tumblr had more detailed patch notes. Then they most likely moved their focus to twitter and decided to start doing patch notes on their official blog from then onward.

I had a lot of theories on when exactly it changed but I think when it did was during the dungeon revamp that happened due to Laby and Noah's dungeons being uniquely fast in EXP gain.

My evidence is that all of the current job quests align with those changed dungeons. Let's compare Lofty: Executor, because if the icon wasn't Tyrannus, it would be Richter;

(04/27/2020)

(10/31/2022)

This is a 2 year gap in between these recordings, so it's kind of a stretch and they could have just as easily been changed with 4th path release, to match up with the job questline videos... However, it's easier to have a script in advanced and put them in a game 1 month before you release the first of the 4th paths than it is to put them in just as each individual 4th path is coming out.

If there was any time to change job quests, it would have been then.

If anyone recorded job quests from 2021 during this update to corroborate, that would be fantastic.

Again, the only instance I think they would maybe change job quests is to perhaps suit areas for individual characters, but I sort of doubt that's going to happen any time soon.

...

I both want and don't want that to happen.

Thank you to everyone whose read this far in, if you have any information or addendums, I will reblog them. This project was made specifically to archive job quests, after all, and even if the history of Elsword seems kind of short (it's been 15 years), I would prefer it to be recorded and readily available.

#elsword #eltag #elsword job project #not job related

[neallacroix39]

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[goodmanvad46]

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[dzpenumbra]

2/17/23

Back and forth a bit today. I woke up early, I had really vivid dreams. Again, I just... haven't been journaling them. I have seriously 3 dream journals by my bed, I haven't recorded a dream in months. It's a weird skill I had to train, it was very difficult for me but I got really good at it, I'm just very out of practice.

The key to it, for me at least, was to really set a clear intention to myself right before bed that if I dreamt, no matter what the dream was, I was going to hold on to details, do my whole... milestone marker tracking technique I developed, and grab the journal and my glasses quickly. It has to be like... a reflex. It has to be quick. Because the second you start gathering waking data, it's like writing over your short term memory, it's deleting the dream. So you have to be quick. And... I just don't have that reflex freshly trained, and I haven't been setting that before bed intention. Maybe I should, why not?

I don't remember the dream but I know it was about my mom, and my stress and problems hurting her, and me feeling a lot of guilt. And I'll process that at a different time. Honestly. She's choosing this and she can take space if my grief and pain are too much, I really can't do that for her.

So I started the day on low fuel. I moved downstairs to the comfy chair and passed out. That strategy works pretty well. I woke up to a Starcraft caster that was... saying some really weird shit. Like... he was comparing someone who was raging in a game to a yapping little dog, and going on this diatribe as though he was doing the world a service by putting these people on display, because it's like shitting on shitty behavior? And somehow that like... makes it good? Like laughing at people who are being abusive, in a public setting, as a gang... is... healthy? Is good? And... monetizing it? And making it a whole series? I mean... you're literally making money off of nerds with anger issues hurling racial slurs at each other. And yeah, man, I mean... if that's what you want to do... but like... Does anyone remember "two wrongs don't make a right?" Anyone? I feel like fucking 9/10ths of the human race just blinked and forgot every fucking moral lesson we grew up with.

Well... maybe they didn't grow up with it. And maybe I never heard their opinions until now. Because now literally everyone is on the internet, and you have to hear their unfiltered thoughts, when before they would just talk to people around them locally. That's probably it, honestly.

Yeah, that just set me off on a bad note. Again, specifically that he went on this like 5 entire minute explanation of how him putting shitty behavior on public display, shaming and mocking it, was really the best way to handle that. And that's like... so fucking far beyond wrong. Okay, I actually pulled the video back up to reference this, that's how much it stuck with me. He was saying that he made an entire series out of "making fun of idiots", and that it's not just to serve the purpose of making fun of idiots, but also to remind us that we also have been those idiots too and we all have moments like that, where we're tempted to be shitty to others... and by watching him publicly humiliate these people, it serves as a reminder that like... if you do vent on someone and say shitty things... maybe it will end up on YouTube with someone "commentating" it and publicly shaming you, with your name displayed for the world to see. Yep. See, he had me in the first half - and remember, I woke up to this sentence... - and I was like.. "yeah, definitely take that moment of self-awareness, definitely think before you say something hurtful, give yourself some perspective". And he just took a gigantic right turn with it and decided to stress that the primary reason why you should not be shitty to a fellow player of a highly competitive niche game with a small community full of like-minded individuals is because if you do... something really bad will happen to you. Super healthy. Bravo. Like, it made my skin crawl. If the only thing that's going to make you even think twice about being really shitty and hurtful to someone, and lash out at them over a fucking video game, is... the threat of someone being several degrees of magnitude shittier to you? ... You've got some pretty big problems to work on.

I managed to cleanse the palate. Yoga was very calm and nice and then escalated super quick in like the last third. It was nice overall and actually opened up some spots in my shoulders that I've had suspicions have been problem areas for a while that have been pretty severely neglected.

I cooked "breakfast", first time in a while. I used to cook breakfast every day, but... the pets' medical shit and the move put me in a "quick meals" mentality that I quickly got used to. So it was nice to make some eggs and sausage again.

I got started on my mom's mala, which ended up being a whole-day project. I just finished it about an hour ago. It's very big, I have no idea how you're supposed to wear it, but... it's done. I spent most of the day working on the guru bead. I needed to drill a third hole in it, to pull the ends of it through. I tried my shitty dremel... I swear to god, this thing... using a drill bit... on full power... was struggling to drill through soft cheap pine wood. I finally got two somewhat good (though the holes are not lined up properly). I took hers and painted it with the gold metallic paint I got and let it dry as I showered.

I did some pretty cool basic floral mandala designs on it, it looked pretty cool. Then I started the Mod Podge. I did 5 layers. After dinner - yep, it took that long - I got started with the process of smoothing it. Since I had problems last time, I went with 600 grit wet sandpaper instead of 400 grit dry. And... I once again somehow sanded through the Mod Podge all the way to the wood. I have no idea how. And the bead was basically ruined at that point, because the gold was sanded off too. So... I started to pick at that spot a tiny bit and... lo and behold... I was able to remove pretty much the entire bead worth of paint in one coat. The acrylic just pulled right off the bead. So, strategy for next time... mid grit sanding - like... 200-400 grit? - before painting. These beads are probably too smooth and need something for the paint to grip on, I think scuffing it first might help. That's my theory, at least. Worth testing. That was super frustrating though.

It ended up working out, because I just said fuck it and went with an organic wood bead, not a painted one... and I think it works better. The mala is on a thin hemp cord, knotted between beads. The primary beads are 8mm garnets, the marker beads (at 10 and 20) are 10mm moonstone with copper crimps to keep them stable, my knots there were too small. So, honestly, I think the wooden bead might even work better than the gold one would have. I used the beeswax/walnut oil finish on it, it looks pretty. And then I made a tassel out of variegated hemp twine, wrapped in black. Still on the fence whether the black was a good choice but... as a whole, I think it looks nice. It's a bit heavy, and the knots added a lot of length to it, but I think it came out great.

So... that's been most of my day.

I got some unpacking done. 2 months after moving in, but still... I got some wooden crates that I stacked as a bookshelf of sorts, now I have something to actually put my shit in. So I sorted most of my books and stacked the crates. But... okay, my apartment is basically one big downstairs room and a loft bedroom upstairs. All my art stuff, music stuff and computer are against the right wall, where I am now. The entire left wall is just lined with other boxes. And my TV is hovering somewhere in that area, still sitting on my display case coffee table because I still don't have a TV table. Or a futon. Or like any of the furniture my mom and I were planning on getting me set up with back in early October. So... the space looks odd, and it's hard to figure out like... where to put the crates. It's just 3 wooden crates leaning against a big empty wall. Hard to describe, but it's weird and hard to plan around. But... I guess it's not the end of the world, because I can just move that shit around.

And, while sorting, I put some stuff into that walk-in storage space I have. So I actually got shit off the floor. Pretty happy with myself for that.

I might need to get a solid inventory of my stuff... then take another trip to Michaels for more of these crate things. I don't know. I really need a worktable for art stuff. But... I have a sinking feeling it's just going to be this drafting table, once my computer desk that was supposed to be a christmas gift finally gets here. It's not the end of the world, this drafting table has gotten me through... college and beyond... Legit, I think I got this thing in like... 2008? My only problem with it is... it's not steady. It wobbles. No matter how I try to get it set up properly, it always wobbles, so doing any kind of work where I need a steady surface, or something to clamp a vice to... this table just disappoints me.

I guess I'll try to take it one chunk at a time and just knock out home design that way. But it's coming along, and that progress is really big for me, so I'm celebrating that.

I'm extremely tired, bye.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[readsbymoonlight]

Book: Wishtress

Author: Nadine Brandes

Rating: 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑

Recommended for: Those who like seeing characters fight through difficulties

Published: 13th September, 2022

Wishtress is a book that has a lot to say. That's expected, isn't it, considering it has 464 pages. The theme it tackles is the classic Good vs Evil, which might be considered cliché but remains relevant no matter how many times it's explored. In Myrthe's world, it's possible to gain a magic power, but whether it's a Talent or a Bane is up to you. When it comes to the plot, there's again lots going on. Everyone wants something, but above all, everyone wants a wish. To get it? Well, you need the Wishtress. Right off the bat, the book starts off pretty tragically, with Myrthe's Wishtress power causing chaos in her life because she's young and doesn't know how to control it yet. This is fine, but it unfortunately set the tone for rest of the story, giving her no chance at all to breathe or have any joy at all. It's my personal pet peeve, though, and some may find the fact that everyone wants Myrthe for something yet not being able to give it a character-building experience for her. For me, all the bad things she has to go through overshadow the things I like about the book, turning it into an agonising read. With the detailed way the book was written, it's clear to see that the author has spent a lot of time crafting the world and thinking about how things work. That's always lovely to have, especially when there is a magic system unique to it. The author takes time to walk you through what Talents are and how they came to be. The overall concept is immediately interesting and was what first prompted me to request the book. Tears that grant wishes! A curse that promises to kill! However, I have to say that all of it falls quite flat for me. It feels like, because of how overpowered such a Talent is, the author had to take it out of the picture as soon as possible after showing its potency (and its perils). It's great to see what someone does when you take away their strengths, but Myrthe was never allowed to use her powers, so it doesn't matter at all that she doesn't have it once she's cursed. I love that the battle of good and evil is so directly left in the hands of individual people. Everyone can choose the way they live their lives and use their powers. Good or evil, Talent or Bane, it's all very black and white. And therein lies the problem. There is no nuance anywhere, no shades of grey. The characters themselves also embody this fight by being good or evil. But there is no exploration of why someone is good or evil. They just are, and they have to choose one. And if you choose a Bane, which is more powerful and tempting and corrupting, you're evil. End of story. Speaking of an ending, I just want to say that I like open endings. For someone who doesn't like bad ones, it gives me the leeway to pretend everything's fine. If there's just the smallest sliver of hope, I'll hold onto it. But this book makes everything too easy, too convenient, without any rhyme or reason. Everything works towards fulfilling the plot and it slogged there. In the very same way I slogged through reading the book. All in all, it just seems like there were many other ways to go about handling this story. Of course, that wasn't the story the author wanted to tell, and that's fine. It's just that this one isn't for me.

Disclaimer: e-ARC obtained from NetGalley, photo found on Google

#book review #2*s #Wishtress #Nadine Brandes #NetGalley #fantasy #YA

[edvardsenklit8]

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[leonardcohenofficial]

love being told in two separate meetings today that i’m just so good at masking both the amount of physical pain i’m in at any given moment and the fact that i’m autistic :) love that professionals just think that’s a normal thing to say to somebody :) love being told that hiding the distress that my symptoms cause me so i can try and function in an academic environment is like a fun cute trait :)

#i'm going to start screaming and it's not even noon i hate this i hate academics i hate having a corporeal form #i am going to lose my mind over the next six weeks very fun for me :))))))))))))))))))))))) #also clearly don't FUCKING reblog this i WILL block people on sight #i was very tempted to go into detail about the other things that those individuals don't know about and see if they still found the fact #that i'm able to hide [redacted] and [different redacted] well but i didn't feel like getting into that on top of the (apparently very #well hidden) deep anger and hurt i felt in that moment

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”

[cyrenesroom]

A guide to effectively using flashcards

Flashcards were an important part of my preparation for my IGCSE examinations. I found them extremely useful for retaining a wide range of concepts (especially for subjects like biology and psychology) in a simple yet effective way!

I hope y’all find these tips useful!! :)

PART 1

Do not rely solely on them

It’s important to note that flashcards are not a one-way ticket to that A*. It is a combination of several things that essentially leads you to a successful result (eg: past papers, homework, readings, research, etc).

Furthermore, it also depends on what type of material you’re studying and how far you are into the learning process.

Recognise which subject requires them

Flashcards are generally used for knowledge-intensive subjects that require a lot of factual memorisation over a long period of time. These can include the sciences, history, literature, etc. 

Subjects like these contain a multitude of relationships, terms, processes and facts that need to be individually internalised in order to achieve a meaningful level of mastery of the overall subject matter.

I didn’t bother using flashcards for subjects like mathematics or business studies.

PART 2

Avoid information overload

it can feel tempting to make flashcards for every little fact and shred of information so that you don't miss it on the exam. However, this usually results in an overwhelming number of decks.

During the initial exposure to the information, make sure that you have thoroughly read through it to isolate the pertinent facts and turn these into question-and-answer flashcards. To do this, I referred to end of unit tests and homework to get a good idea on which aspects of the topic/chapter are typically assessed.

It’s really important to condense the information since flashcards are typically used for REVIEW and to help consolidate your knowledge. Trying to add in an entire chapter of 12 pages really defeats the purpose of using them.

I was constantly worried that I might cut out information that may end up being vital. I was able to remove this fear of mine by ensuring that I only put down one concept/question per flashcard and then list down the components that made up that particular concept.

For example, these were my notes on medicinal drugs, with a focus on antibiotics. One of the key requirements listed in my specification was:

“To describe the functions of antibiotics for the treatment of bacterial infection”

I used this to understand what pieces of information to isolate.

As you can see above, I only listed down the functions of antibiotics and nothing else. I didn’t mention the fact that they were ineffective against viruses because there is a reason to that and the concept can be better explored in another card. I instead, chose to focus on how antibiotics combat bacterial infections.

This saves a lot of time during the revision process and also ensures that the amount of information you have to know isn’t too overwhelming.

Create Mental Connections

This can be easily achieved by mixing pictures and words or using mnemonic devices. These help increase your brain’s ability to recall what you’re studying. Just be careful to only use these when absolutely necessary.

Organisation of Your Flashcards

It’s highly likely that you may never use your flashcards when they are stacked one over the other until they form a skyscraper. This is where organisation comes into play.

For biology in particular, I organised my decks by chapter and then divided it into decks for the sub-topics within the chapter:

As you can see, I basically divided the chapter of “Biological Molecules” into those sub-topics which made the whole revision process less overwhelming and it also helped me plan what I wanted to study because I would have already had a basic overview of what I’m familiar with and what I needed to review further.

PART 3

The Process of Retrieving the Answer

When going through your decks, it’s important to note down the answer or say it out loud instead of adopting the “oh I know this already, so it’s fine” attitude. You should be able to hold yourself accountable and avoid falling for the false illusion of confidence. Even if you are already familiar with that particular piece of information, there’s no harm in reinforcing it again. Better to be safe than sorry.

Shuffle Your Decks

This is an incredibly effective way of challenging yourself with spacing and interleaving, instead of going through your flashcard deck in the same order again and again. You won’t be able to properly retain those concepts by trying to retrieve information based on the deck and card number!

Spaced Repetition 

Spaced Repetition is an evidence-based learning technique boosts learning by spreading revision out over time so learning is not crammed all at once. 

You can find a detailed explanation about the effectiveness of this technique here 

PART 4

Anki

This app allows you to create online flashcards which you can use to test yourself in practice sessions. It uses an algorithm built around active recall and spaced repetition and hence learns as you progress through your studies and revision.

Anki is available for free on desktop and on all mobile devices except iOS, but I highly recommend it as it’s in-built algorithm and other features (more information about the app including the download link can be found here) were incredibly useful for me!

Quizlet

This is another online learning tool that allows users to create study tools such as interactive flashcards, tests, and study games. 

The app makes it simple to start creating cards on the topic of your choice. In addition to text, you can also add images from your computer or Quizlet’s library. It also provides you with a variety of options when studying your cards. For more information on the features that Quizlet employs, visit this link

Quizlet is free but provides the option of a paid premium plan which includes additional features. 

Brainscape

This app also implements spaced repetition, which has been shown to increase rate of learning. 

Brainscape allows you to rate your confidence in each flashcard, on a scale of 1-5, which subsequently determines how frequently to repeat the flashcard. Lower-confidence items are repeated more frequently until you upgrade your confidence rating.

Like Quizlet, it is a free app but provides a paid pro plan with additional features.

Once again I want to emphasize that to truly succeed with flashcards, you need to learn how to create them correctly. The best app isn’t very useful if you’re not writing effective questions and answers.

That’s all I have for now, I really hope this post was helpful and if you have any additional tips or apps you’d like to suggest, feel free to reblog and add them!! 

sending love and wishing you all a wonderful day!

— cyrene :)

#einstetic #myhoneststudyblr #einstein #noorstudy #areistotle #studyquill #studylustre #intellectys #emmastudies #academla #student #studying #studyspo #revision #study tips #flashcards #studyblr #studyblr community #mine #mine: guides #studyvan #heyharri #merciful study #study #studyspiration #studyblr masterposts #academiix #heystudiposts

[penwiper]

So a couple days ago, some folks braved my long-dormant social media accounts to make sure I’d seen this tweet:

And after getting over my initial (rather emotional) response, I wanted to reply properly, and explain just why that hit me so hard.

So back around twenty years ago, the internet cosplay and costuming scene was very different from today. The older generation of sci-fi convention costumers was made up of experienced, dedicated individuals who had been honing their craft for years.  These were people who took masquerade competitions seriously, and earning your journeyman or master costuming badge was an important thing.  They had a lot of knowledge, but – here’s the important bit – a lot of them didn’t share it.  It’s not just that they weren’t internet-savvy enough to share it, or didn’t have the time to write up tutorials – no, literally if you asked how they did something or what material they used, they would refuse to tell you. Some of them came from professional backgrounds where this knowledge literally was a trade secret, others just wanted to decrease the chances of their rivals in competitions, but for whatever reason it was like getting a door slammed in your face.  Now, that’s a generalization – there were definitely some lovely and kind and helpful old-school costumers – but they tended to advise more one-on-one, and the idea of just putting detailed knowledge out there for random strangers to use wasn’t much of a thing.  And then what information did get out there was coming from people with the freedom and budget to do things like invest in all the tools and materials to create authentic leather hauberks, or build a vac-form setup to make stormtrooper armor, etc.  NOT beginner friendly, is what I’m saying.

Then, around 2000 or so, two particular things happened: anime and manga began to be widely accessible in resulting in a boom in anime conventions and cosplay culture, and a new wave of costume-filled franchises (notably the Star Wars prequels and the Lord of the Rings movies) hit the theatres.  What those brought into the convention and costuming arena was a new wave of enthusiastic fans who wanted to make costumes, and though a lot of the anime fans were much younger, some of them, and a lot of the movie franchise fans, were in their 20s and 30s, young enough to use the internet to its (then) full potential, old enough to have autonomy and a little money, and above all, overwhelmingly female.  I think that latter is particularly important because that meant they had a lifetime of dealing with gatekeepers under our belts, and we weren’t inclined to deal with yet another one.  They looked at the old dragons carefully hoarding their knowledge, keeping out anyone who might be unworthy, or (even worse) competition, and they said NO.  If secrets were going to be kept, they were going to figure things out for ourselves, and then they were going to share it with everyone.  Those old-school costumers may have done us a favor in the long run, because not knowing those old secrets meant that we had to find new methods, and we were trying – and succeeding with – materials that “serious” costumers would never have considered.   I was one of those costumers, but there were many more – I was more on the movie side of things, so JediElfQueen and PadawansGuide immediately spring to mind, but there were so many others, on YahooGroups and Livejournal and our own hand-coded webpages, analyzing and testing and experimenting and swapping ideas and sharing, sharing, sharing.  

I’m not saying that to make it sound like we were the noble knights of cosplay, riding in heroically with tutorials for all.  I’m saying that a group of people, individually and as a collective, made the conscious decision that sharing was a Good Things that would improve the community as a whole.  That wasn’t necessarily an easy decision to make, either. I know I thought long and hard before I posted that tutorial; the reaction I had gotten when I wore that armor to a con told me that I had hit on something new, something that gave me an edge, and if I didn’t share that info I could probably hang on to that edge for a year, or two, or three.  And I thought about it, and I was briefly tempted, but again, there were all of these others around me sharing what they knew, and I had seen for myself what I could do when I borrowed and adapted some of their ideas, and I felt the power of what could happen when a group of people came together and gave their creativity to the world.

And it changed the face of costuming.  People who had been intimidated by the sci-fi competition circuit suddenly found the confidence to try it themselves, and brought in their own ideas and discoveries.  And then the next wave of younger costumers took those ideas and ran, and built on them, and branched out off of them, and the wave after that had their own innovations, and suddenly here we are, with Youtube videos and Tumblr tutorials and Etsy patterns and step-by-step how-to books, and I am just so, so proud.  

So yeah, seeing appreciation for a 17-year-old technique I figured out on my dining-room table (and bless it, doesn’t that page just scream “I learned how to code on Geocities!”), and having it embraced as a springboard for newer and better things warms this fandom-old’s heart.  This is our legacy, and a legacy the current group of cosplayers is still creating, and it’s a good one.  

(Oh, and for anyone wondering: yes, I’m over 40 now, and yes, I’m still making costumes. And that armor is still in great shape after 17 years in a hot attic!)  

#costumes #cosplay #fandom history

[tomodachi-z]

A different take on their relationships

So I was scrolling through the genshin thread and soon came to a realization that most of the relationship Hc’s were pretty fluff based, which got me thinking - was that really all there was?  Even if Genshin was a heartfelt game i couldnt really believe that all of them would be pure husband material - which sort of spiraled into this.

- This is purely my take on how some of the Genshin boys would approach relationships, its just some random thoughts though so take it as you will.

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe

Tw: angst, abuse, toxic relationships, mentions of death, just overall scummy behavior.

Slight NSFW

Minors DNI

Zhongli

Honestly, out of the whole lot of them i think he’d be the most civil. Apart from his bad traits that is.

First of all I dont believe Zhongli would actively pursue a relationship, however he would be open to it, though the chances of it being a special “love at first sight” is practically zero. Hes lived thousands of years and seen humanity evolve as a whole, hes met millions of people over the years and peoples faces really arent that different, they just blur together at this point. So if we were to go by that logic, his love interest would have to be someone he interacts with on a day to day basis - or at the very least weekly.

If he was starting to develop an attachment to you, I believe he would also be fairly upfront about it, asking you out and courting you wouldn't be anything new, he’s had lovers before after all.

But this is where it starts to get a bit off-putting. Even if your relationship is sailing along fine, he’d still compare it to the others he’s had. Your taste in clothing, your choice of books, how you style your hair. Every now and again he’d utter something like “Ah ___ used to style their hair like that.” Or “Your eyes are so familiar, just like ___...” in which case the blank space is a previous lovers name. Not that he’d divulge that to you. Even if you ask him about the people he keeps mentioning he’d brush you off and change the subject. Though sometimes he forgets himself and calls you by a different name.

He would also never tell you he’s a God. And you wouldn’t find out either.

 Hes hidden it from the whole of Liyue, why would you be any different? His role as Archon was over anyway so there would be no point to it.

So you would live your life never finding out about him, not ever truly reaching his heart, because his heart is already filled to the brim with memories, and whatever little space you occupy there would also fade along with your passing. You would have no children, for I truly believe that Zhongli just would not want children, his one and only child would remain Liyue, and your name would be uttered in passing, when he confuses his next lover with you.

Happy Ending?

Zhongli would still love you

He would cherish and comfort you

But there was nothing in this world more lonely than immortality.

He would love again but it would only repeat the cycle unless he truly comes to terms with himself.

It would take a lot of time, perhaps even an eternity, but I believe that his past relationships would actually help him realize something.

That even though humans were much the same he loved you all individually.

At the end of time he would recount each one of your names, in the hopes that you would take him with you, so that he could finally apologize.

Diluc

I honestly believe he just does not want a relationship. Not now anyway, not when hes 20+ years old. So the thought of him forming a crrush on you or any sort of real romantic attachment would also be pretty slim. He’d be your friend, sure, your best friend even, but when it comes to being your boyfriend? It wouldn’t be what you think it is.

If he does form a relationship with you its because you confessed, and you asked him whether or not he was willing to give it a go, and considering you already know each other so well he didn't really see a reason why not. Though it wasn't out of love that he’d agree.

I do believe that he’d still be a gentleman, he would send you flowers, and he would take you on walks, he would also give you gifts, but all of those were just out of courtesy. He was taught to behave like a gentleman, and so he would.

He would never be available, always working, always busy, never in a good mood. “Don't bother me, I'm busy.” He’d coldly order. And if you tried to do something nice to him like cook him a meal whilst he’s working he’d just tell you not to bother, the butler can make it better than you so why even try.

You would be a hitch in his schedule, an added task every day, another time consuming detail he had to take into consideration. But considering he was the one who agreed to the whole idea, he would simply have to deal with it.

As for intimacy, it would be rare. He’d kiss you just because he was curious how it would feel, he’d fuck you just because you asked him to, and sure he might have enjoyed it, you even said you enjoyed it, but it wouldn't become a regular thing between you two. He would come home exhausted, sore and half asleep, so on most days you can expect him to share simple words of greeting before he falls asleep.

If you got tired of it he would just let you go, both of you could see it wasn't working, so why bother try to fix it. You deserve better than him, a man that would love and cherish you, but right now, he simply cannot.

Those are your parting words, he wishes you luck and thanks you for your patience, whether or not you remain friends after that is really up to you.

Happy Ending?

What Diluc needs more than anyone else is time

Time to really heal

Time to forgive himself

Time to start loving the world again.

And I believe he would learn to do those things if time was given.

He would one day realize that his heart yearned for something other than day to day work, something that you tried to show him long ago.

He would fall in love eventually, perhaps not with you, but he would finally open his heart.

He would love earnestly and faithfully till the end of his days.

Kaeya

He’s well known as a flirt in Mondstat, he’s slept with people around town and chances are that’s how he first met you. Whether you slept with him or rejected him didn’t matter, what he was after was your looks after all.

He’d seduce you with praise and compliments, he’d lavish you with gifts and roses, as long as you give him something in return that is.

If you didn’t it wouldn’t really bother him much, he’d simply abandon the thought of you and turn his eyes on another pretty face, if you ever ask him about why he suddenly stopped he’d respond with “I don’t like wasting my time sweetheart.”

However if you give in to his seductions I believe he would eventually start enveloping the idea about being your boyfriend, the idea of you being his and him being yours was tempting for sure. It would take a while but he would also stop flirting so shamelessly with other people, he no longer saw a reason for it now that you were his after all.

But he would never truly yield his heart to you, always keeping secrets, always masking his emotions with sly words. I don’t think he’d ever really open up about his past or about the depths of his mind. But he would love you, and he would protect you, he would cherish you the only way he knew how, by keeping you in the dark, lest you regret your decision in loving him.

Happy ending?

His habits would change as he grows older

They would truly shift when he sees his first child in your arms.

He would cry, not even knowing why

He would fall so helplessly in love with the thought of a happy future and he would be terrified by it

But if you stay by his side, if you make him believe he can have a happy life and a future with you

He would give you the world, if only you make him believe those words.

Childe

Honestly the worst out of all of them.

Now, I firmly believe that he also would not pursue a romantic relationship if given a choice, but his heart is fickle and easily swayed by his own emotions, so when he sees you pop up every now and again he’d undoubtedly would act on his feelings.

He’d charm you, wine and dine you and treat you like a princess if you so wished. He would make sure you had everything you had ever wanted, he’d make promises of love and marriage, but after he gets what he wants, he would leave you.

Just like that, without a word, without a note, nothing. So when you see him after months of confusion, guilt and regret you would ask him why he had left, and all he would say is “What else did you expect?” He’s a Fatui after all, and he has no time for thoughts of tomorrow or promises for the future. His eyes would hold no warmth as he noted that the interaction was rather fair in his eyes, he had treated you like a princess after all.

He has no time to think of anyone else but his family and his duty to Tsaritsa, you were just a toy he liked playing with for a while till you got boring, now move before he breaks you.

Happy Ending?

Now I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone

Even for someone like Childe

But that someone would have to be exceptional - someone with a commanding sense of self respect, someone with purpose and belief, someone with a fate of their own.

They wouldn't have to be a fighter or even an adventurer, but they would have to be a force of their own to be able to show Childe what kind of life he was truly living.

He knew he was in hell, but meeting someone like that would make it all the more apparent

But if they reached out their hand to him, if they gave him a chance.

He believed he would see a world in colors he never knew existed.

And he would love truly and openly, he would shed his heart to them and only them.

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #childe #diluc #zhongli #kaeya #kaeya x you #zhongli x you #childe x you #diluc x you #genshin angst #tw

[neon-junkie]

Hey everyone,

This will be my final post addressing the fandom conflict that has quite frankly gotten out of hand. Although it’s very likely this post will be picked apart, no matter how well intended it is, I will no longer be addressing, interacting, or responding to any further accusations made against me. Of course, if people have questions from a genuine place of interest, I will be happy to clarify anything for you, either via DM’s or non-anon asks. I will not be answering anonymous asks on this, as I do not want anything else posted on this topic. 

As a side note: For anyone tempted to wade into the debate, I sincerely ask you not to get involved. Do not make yourself a target, do not feel you need to ‘pick a side’, and please do not think you have an obligation to reason with either side. It seems to be well past the point of that, so please find people you get along with in this fandom and curate a space for yourself away from all this conflict.

Warning: This post will contain uncensored slurs, mentions of racism, paedophilia, transphobia, LGBTQ+ phobia, death threats, threats of violence, targeted harassment, and abusive language.

To start off, I want to apologise to everyone who has somehow gotten drawn into this mess by either defending me, following me, or interacting with my content. This whole situation with me began well over a year ago when I wrote a crack-smut fic featuring Javier/Micah, posted back in August 2019. A crack fic is defined as “a work of fan fiction that is absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally.” It was inspired by a camp interaction between Micah and Javier, and like many other fanfiction writers, I decided to write smut about it. The fic was titled ‘Dirty Fucking Greaser’, and if that shocks you, I’m sure you can imagine how shocked I was to be informed afterwards that ‘Greaser’ was in fact a very serious 19th century slur for a Mexican individual. My first encounter with this word as insult was via RDR2, where it was used like a very casual insult. My only prior knowledge of this term was in regards to the greasers youth subculture, so the severity was lost on me. This obviously does not excuse my ignorance, and I should have researched the term better, but this is just again to apologize for that oversight, the insensitivity, and to highlight that my use of this term was not meant maliciously. Following this being pointed out, I proceeded to make 3 separate apology posts [Unfortunately I can only find the third one: HERE], renamed the fic, and added slur warnings in both the tags and the fic description. When I continued to receive complaints and increasingly aggressive abuse (which included being told my apologies weren’t good enough and I should delete my account and even kill myself), I attempted to delete the fic and mistakenly abandoned it instead. I contacted AO3 to see if it could be removed, but they said there was nothing they could do. I contacted their DMCA takedown team, who also said they couldn't remove it. Please note that all this happened 7-8 months ago, and has been dragged on for almost a year. 

So, from this one unfortunate incident, I’ve been branded a racist, and someone who attacks POC, when all I have done is tried to defend myself and correct my past mistakes. I could have done this more gracefully in the past, but frankly when you’re suddenly the target of unrelenting callout posts and nasty anons, it’s very hard to be open to criticism of this sort, but this is what I’m trying to move past.

Over the course of the year, this one mistake has spiralled, and the crusade against me has somehow coincided with moral conflicts over certain characters and ships. This has devolved into dehumanizing abuse, witch hunts, death threats, doxxing, anon hate, and much more unpleasant behaviour.

I have been in fandom for a very long time, and at the heart of all fandom circles is the fear of censorship and subsequent purges, so the ‘ship and let ship’ mentality was more or less the pinnacle of fandom philosophy. And yes, this can be problematic in some contexts. People have their right to be uncomfortable with content, have a right to be offended by content, but that is not content meant for you. This argument has devolved into ‘what material is morally right to engage with’ and that is a mentality in which fandom will not survive, because for every person who is telling me I’m an awful person for writing about Micah, there are three other people telling me how much they appreciate me making that content. For every fic in which I characterize Javier and Flaco a certain way, some people are made uncomfortable by it and others tell me they enjoy it. And this isn’t just white people, but POC too, which makes it very difficult to know whether I am genuinely in the right or the wrong, especially when it comes to the concept of ‘fetishization’ which I have been made aware I need to educate myself on. I intend to do so, but I disagree with the common accusation that finding non-white men romantically and sexually attractive is inherently fetishistic and makes me racist. It’s pushing a catch-22; don’t find POC sexually attractive? Racist. Find POC sexually attractive? Racist.

I am always willing to be (politely) approached about anything my readers may be concerned about, but if it’s something I’ve specifically tagged for (such as themes, scenarios, etc.) I’m afraid you consented to reading it and with that I cannot help you. You are just as responsible for curating your space and what you see/read just as much as I am responsible for tagging it appropriately.  

On the topic of racism, I want to bring up my prior use of ‘white racism’ which has obviously been a point of contention among both white and people of colour. The (literal) black vs white concept of racism is incredibly American-centric, and as someone from Europe, which has a history of oppression against white cultures and those of people of colour, it feels inaccurate. However, this has recently been discussed with me and I came to the realization that while growing up, especially in the UK, ‘xenophobia’ and ‘racism’ were marketed as one and the same. So, with this little revelation in mind, I will no longer be using ‘white racism’ (Or ‘reverse racism’) to identify the abuse I have been receiving, but will instead call it by what it really is; dehumanizing, debasing, xenophobic, puritanical.   

Very briefly, I will also touch on the NewAustin situation, which has also been dredged into this. I did not ‘chase a POC from tumblr’. NA was a minor who for some reason was on my 18+ blog and took issue with me, likely from the ongoing discourse regarding my fic and initial mistake, as well as my interest in Micah. They were subsequently harassed into deleting their account by anonymous hate following various conflicts with other users for their support of me or their ships in general. I have never encouraged my followers to target anyone, and have always asked to be blocked and blacklisted by those who do not like me or my content. When NewAustin messaged me following the deletion of their blog, I was admittedly indifferent to the point of being unkind, and accused them of sending the hate themselves. This was based on the anon hate being racially-driven without there being any prior knowledge or publication that NA was a person of colour. This aside, I should have at the time, whether I believed it was my followers or not, condemned this behaviour. Regardless of the issues I’ve had with these people, it is never ever ok to send hate to anyone, no matter the motivation behind it, and that should have been stated at the time.

All I can do at this point is acknowledged and apologize for my past mistakes, and try to improve myself going forward.  

It is not my place to dictate the morals of the character/ship-aspect of this argument, and I am not interested in waging a war of opinion. This post is simply to clarify how I am involved in this, and why I am so viscerally targeted. You can draw your own conclusions, but I am no longer interested in this endless back and forth.

To my mutuals/followers, I stand by my request to not interact and to block and move on, as this is what I’ll be doing too.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope it makes things from my perspective a little clearer.

-RAT <3

EDIT: Just after this post was made, the fic in question was finally removed. I had to go through a DMCA take down, which can take months, since I originally abandoned the fic, thinking that meant delete. I explain this in more detail above. Said fic is gone, and has been gone since this post has been around.

#the tea #apology #long post

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Education

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published.

Previous Excerpt

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I think every parent struggles with the question of when they should teach their children hard truths. At some point, every child needs to learn about death. They need to learn about hatred. They need to learn about the horrors people will inflict on them for being different. This is something that is as true for ghouls as it is for humans. For most people, it is a fact of life that someone will hate you for existing.

Human-on-human prejudice is still something I don’t fully understand. At least humans have a reason to hate us. I don’t know why they go looking for reasons to hate each other too.

Educating ghouls is a challenge. We need to know about ourselves, of course. We need to know about our kind - our needs, our history, our ways of moving through human society - but we need to learn everything that humans learn too. The more we can fit seamlessly into the human world, the safer we are. You probably don’t know this, what with how much the news loves a story about a ghoul living in secret among humans, their murders exposed to the shock of their friends and acquaintances, but those of us who are brought up among humans don’t get found out very often. It’s the feral children, the big city packs that still hunt most of their food, the all-ghoul communes, that are easier targets for the exterminators. Those of us that are fully integrated are much harder to sniff out, unless we seriously fuck up.

{Editing Note: Don’t say fuck. Even though it’s a really good word}

The best way to make sure a ghoul can pass as human is to start us young. Get us into kindergarten, then elementary school, and keep going all the way through college. There’s nothing better than hands-on training. That’s what my mom did for me, mostly. I was raised in human society, in the human public school system, and I’ve never had a true close call. I’ve never caught the eye of an exterminator, and no human has ever asked me pointed questions about my habits or diet.

For the sake of completeness, I should say that I was in the human public school system for everything except for middle school. It’s not like that’s a great loss, though - everything I’ve heard about middle school sounds like hell. I don’t know how any of you survived going through puberty in front of all your peers.

{Editing Note: I am not talking about ghoul puberty unless I can find a reliable human to tell me what their puberty was like. If I wrote about something that I thought was ghoul-specific but is actually normal I’d die on the spot. I’d call a fucking exterminator on myself.}

Conventional schooling might be the best setup for success, but it’s also the most dangerous route. Kids talk, and that’s as true for us as it is for you. It takes a lot of work to make a child understand that there are some things you can never tell anyone, not even your closest friends, not ever. It’s not a fun burden to grow up carrying either. I’ve known the fear of death for literally longer than I can remember. I’ve known that letting myself be truly honest and vulnerable with any of my classmates would bring it to me and my parents before the day was over {Editing Note: True vulnerability is what I need now, though. I should find a place to talk about my dad}. It’s more loneliness than any child should ever grow up with. I was lucky; I found Scarlet in 4th grade. There are plenty of ghoul children that don’t find each other until high school, if there are even any other ghoul children to be found.

Some parents decide that the risk is too great. They’d rather have alive children than well-adjusted children, so they homeschool them {Editing Note: Okay, that’s way too harsh. Don’t be biased}. I did get to experience this approach for those couple of years when I wasn’t in middle school, and it does have some advantages other than safety. When I was in public school, my mom had to find time after school to teach me about our people. In a homeschool setting, ghoul studies could actually be integrated into our curriculum. It wasn’t completely asocial, either - ghoul parents often use their Society connections to find other ghoul children that are homeschooling so we can learn together. I met my second best friend, Scorpio, because we were homeschooled together.

{Editing Note: My friends are going to read this. I need to make it super clear that Scorpio is the second best friend I made chronologically. I’m not ranking my friends in front of the entire world.}

Scorpio’s a good friend, but he’s also a good case study for the drawbacks of homeschooling. He was homeschooled K through 12 and he is definitely the worst of my friends at passing. He has no idea what’s normal for ghouls vs normal for humans, so he compensates by either saying nothing or saying the most obvious, outlandish lies you could imagine when childhood comes up in conversation. In his defense, those lies are usually pretty funny, and he does connect pretty well with the right kind of people. Scorpio’s got a bunch of very specific subjects that he knows a ton about and loves to talk about. He and Scarlet can go on for hours about literary theory.

{Editing Note: That’s too meandering. I’m just trying to explain why some ghouls homeschool and some don’t - I don’t need to put my weird friends on blast.}

There’s another kind of formal schooling for ghouls that’s much, much rarer - the ghoul private school. The only one I even knew of, St. Raymond’s, was shut down last year by exterminators. Normally I’d tell you to take the lurid details you hear on the news with a healthy pinch of salt, and I still would, but that many rich young ghouls, completely cut off from the rest of humanity… it’s hard to predict what becomes normalized in that kind of echo chamber.

Fortunately, my patron knows more people than I do, so I have more to offer you than grim speculation. According to her, these kinds of places always have a very small student body, rarely breaking a hundred. The lesson content is pretty similar to homeschool - fully integrated ghoul curriculum, plus a few specialized lessons on blending into human society. Out of necessity, they’re almost always boarding schools. It’s easier to keep a low profile if you don’t have a bunch of ghoul kids not used to hiding going to and from the campus every day.

Apparently, it’s that kind of logistical challenge that makes these schools so rare. Aside from all the money you need to run a school in the first place, and how careful you need to be to pass scrutiny from the Board of Education, providing discretely for the needs of that many ghouls is an organizational nightmare. I mean, there’s a reason that ghoul families are so small, a reason why even our extended households rarely do more than scrape the double digits. There’s only so much flesh that can be safely obtained in one area at a time. There aren’t a lot of ghouls that have the resources and the inclination to put one of these schools together.

There is, of course, one more ways that ghouls are educated - the school of hard knocks {Editing Note: That’s such a trivializing way to put it. Have some sensitivity, me}. Given how short our average life expectancy is, it’s inevitable that some ghoul children have to fend for themselves from a very young age. I doubt it comes as a surprise that most of them don’t manage to integrate into human society very well. The lucky ones figure out early on how to kill discreetly, how to hide their nature from observers, and how to vary their hunting patterns enough to avoid the attention of the exterminators. The rest either starve quietly or die violently.

Most of these feral ghouls who survive to be teenagers eventually find each other and form packs. From a pure survival standpoint, this is a bad move. A group of feral teenage ghouls have a much harder time covering their tracks than they would as individuals, but for most, the chance at companionship is too tempting. It’s miserable, being alone in the world. Packs offer most of them the best chance to escape loneliness that they’ll ever get. And for most of them, it ends in a shallow grave within a year. Putting down a pack of feral ghouls is a good headline for an exterminator, and it’s a lot less work than trying to ferret out those of us who’ve figured out how to pass. That isn’t how the majority of ghouls die, but it’s how a plurality of us do.

For those few feral ghouls that survive to adulthood, their lives take one of three paths. Sometimes they find a patron and fall in with a household, and they do their best to heal from the trauma of their childhood. They do their best to find a happy life in human society, just like those of us who were luckier. Sometimes they become true Hunters, living their lives on the outskirts of our Society; still embraced by us, if only at an arm’s length. I’ll talk more about them later.

And sometimes, they become the Lost. Not that ghouls from any walk of life are immune to that fate, but… I’ll get to them later too. You may not have heard of them by that name, but I guarantee you’ve heard of the Lost.

{Editing Note: That’s a really grim note to end the chapter on. I should play with the structure a bit and find a more uplifting note to leave this subject on.}

{Editing Note: Or I could ask Kestrel. I’m sure she’d have ideas on how to better write the section on feral ghouls, and she could help me strike a more authentic tone. But… I don’t want to upset her. She doesn’t like to think about it, and I don’t want to hurt her. Is this important enough? Would she think it’s important enough?}

#my writing #original fiction #not tlt #memoirs of a flesh eater