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soyouareandrewdobson · 9 months

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Asians are all the same, right? The racism of a company cock gurgling moron

Like herpes and unlike the Dobbear, I am back baby.

At this point, deepest apology for my long absence. Personal issues over the last two years prevented me from writing anything and also destroyed for the longest time any desire to really continue the blog.

However, I don’t want to let things unfinished and seeing how the hypocricyofandrewdobson still manages to get some rise out of old Dobson related stuff, I wanted to just return, in order to properly contribute a bit more critical thinking in regard to his old comics.

And while I will not immediately return to my retrospective of SYAC, here is at least (for a start) my opinion on one comic of his, that in my opinion just proved hilarious and controversial in hindsight, and rather racist even back then.

I admit, I don’t know anymore what the title of the comic here is. All I know is, that it came out around 2018, shortly after the release of his “Black Panther” comic, another malignant piece of Dobtrash that has made the rounds online ever since. However, unlike the Black Panther comic, which became the center of a lot of discussion regarding Dobson’s racist assumptions about comic book fans while ironically trying to present himself as woke, this one was weirdly drifting off into obscurity. Which is kinda weird, cause in my opinion, it is way more racist and actually kinda insulting to the very craft Dobson supposedly “dedicated” his life to.

Let me explain.

First, over the course of three panels, Dobson comes essentially off like he is considering the medium of comics as inferior to the medium of movies. Making it look as if comics are unsuccessful because they cannot rail in the same amount of money than certain flics and calling them at best nothing more but a pitching ground for corporations to create new shallow mass product.

Now I am a bit of a realist and I know that, especially in the world of mainstream American superhero comics, this is kinda the case. Most comic book characters, stories and franchises are owned by multibillion dollar corporations, who either have a direct hand in the creation of the product (via corporate mandate for example) and/or use the likeness of the product to make profit in additional, more valuable revenues than the printed medium. Such as cartoons, merchandise and movies. One example I can think of, to show that it isn’t just an American issue: Yugioh. The card game wouldn’t have come to be if there hadn’t been a manga starring a little boy putting together an ancient Egyptian puzzle, but while the original manga ended way back in March of 2004, the card game makes millions globally still after 25 years and counting.

But that doesn’t change the fact, that comics as a medium still have value. Without the stories told within their pages, we wouldn’t have characters such as Captain America, Superman, the Mask, the Ninja Turtles and so on to begin with. Don’t get me even started on stories that aren’t falling into the American mainstream comic trend, but still succeeded in the printed comic medium partly because of genuine artistic and profound value such as Maus, Barefoot Gen, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, TinTin and a shitton of (other) stuff from Europe and Asia.

So when Dobson, who always acted like he is proud to be a cartoonist and that comics are a superior medium to others, suddenly reduces them to just being a “pitch ground for better stuff down the line” at best, I as a fan of the medium and just the art of creating stories in itself, get kinda pissed.

Additionally, the way how he compares movies to be better than comics, is severely flawed.

He brings up the fact, that “Captain America: Civil War” made over one billion dollars at the box office as an example, while pointing out the fact, that most single comic issues barely manage to sell 100.000 copies, while holding up a copypasted “Civil War” issue.

Already, Dobson essentially compares apples with bananas, while also giving both false and incomparable data, that also ignores many aspects to be considered.

For starters: He compares the earnings of both movies and comics with two different values. For movies, he goes by the monetary profit a superhero movie could possibly make, while for the comic issue, he goes by the total number of copies sold.

But here is the thing: Assuming the average selling price of a comic is at 4 dollars for a single 30 page issue, selling 100.000 copies would ring in like 400.000 dollars. And considering that producing one issue likely costs a company less than 20.000 dollars (obvious costs for mass production and distribution not withstanding) they can still make a decent profit this way from ONE issue alone. One issue. Not multiple issues of a long running, but sadly underperforming series. All of that by the way doesn’t even account for the fact, that most single issues at best tell only a quarter of a decent short story nowadays and ignores later “long term” factors, such as reprints of the issue, late term buying of the issue, tradepaperback sells of the issue, the longterm effect and cultural impact the issue may have on the actual series or plot continuity (such as Amazing Spiderman 122, aka “The Night Gwen Stacy Died”). Don’t get me even started on the fact, that many of these issues get first sold in the US and only over the course of one year or longer may then additionally be sold in other parts of the world, therefore bringing in even more money for the publisher.

Example: The Duck comics by Don Rosa, which earn more than four times more in Europe, than they ever did in America, despite the guy being from California. Finally, a a little add addendum: that example Dobson gives indirectly via the “Civil War” issue? A quick google search revealed, that Civil War issue 1 sold over 300k copies in May of 2006 alone. Sure, not necessarily the best numbers ever for a single issue (as evident by the following list: https://bookriot.com/bestselling-comics-of-all-time/ )but still nothing to be ashamed of.

And yes, I know that we live currently in a time, where comic book sells have dropped significantly for a variety of reasons, one of them being an overall lack of decent stories. But as long as other stuff still manages to run freaking circles around American superheroes (*cough* One Piece *cough*) I wouldn’t say the medium itself is dead. Just a specific branch of it is suffering from a lack of quality and the customers are jumping ship.

A superhere movie meanwhile is a completely different beast. Ever since “The Avengers” came out in 2012, most superhero movies are 150-250 million dollar behemoths, that get overhyped by advertisement campaigns that are almost equally as expensive and try to trick the audience into believing, that they all are somehow the next big mindblowing thing on the big screen. Plus there hasn’t really been a superhero movie in the last 10+ years, that didn’t release simultaneously worldwide, instead of only coming out in the USA, and then a few months later, in other parts of the world.

So is it any wonder then, if a superhero movie that got advertised like the second coming of a saint, makes 1 billion, when there are already billions of potential customers worldwide all at once when the product launches?

That number btw becomes actually less impressive, once you start to think about how it came to be. Something our blue bear obviously didn’t.

See, on average every movie theater demands like what, 12-14 dollars per movie nowdays?

If we divide the box office of Civil war (1.152 billion btw) with 12 dollars, that makes on average 100 million people worldwide who watched the movie. A bit more than one or two percent of the worlds population. Not to forget, that of the box office success we have to substract such things as production cost of the movie, advertisement, the earnings of the theaters… so suddenly the movie may at best have had only earned one quarter of its box office for Disney as actual profit.

Not to forget, Dobson made that comic in 2018, when superhero movies on average did ring in so much money, because of the hype machine. But now we have 2023 and within the last five years (and especially 2023 itself) we have seen how superhero movies can also utterly fail to make money or even earn just enough to make back the production cost. Birds of Prey, Eternals, Ant Man 3, that Secret Invasion streaming show that still cost over 200 million… Do I need to get on?

Bottom line, Dobson’s indirect jab at comics as the less profitable revenue doesn’t hold that much water really in the real world, where once the hype dies down, comics may actually prove themselves as the more valuable longterm medium. Even if it may just be for the fact, that they end up staying longer relevant in the popcultural subconscious than the current movies, which tend to lose relevance with each new hastily produced and released installment in the franchise.

But where this comic really shines and shows Dobson’s ignorance on a cultural level, is in the last panel. When all off sudden it turns “racial” by claiming that Asian people, unlike “traditional” comic readers (aka white, in Dobbear s eyes therefore instantly racist people), would eat a Marvel character like Amadeus Cho up.

Question Dobson: Why do you assume, they would eat him up? You give no real argument based on anything the character does storywise, that the “target audience” may find admirable. So I can only think, that your reasoning is, because he is ever so slightly east asian coded.

Boy, do we have to unpack not just a can of worms, but a whole package of cans now.

First, the chosen language by saying “eat it up”. When being a writer, you should know that you need at times to choose your words wisely, because of the sheer implications they can carry. And the statement “eat it up” sounds way to close to a negative statement like “suck it up”. Making it come off as if Dobson considers Asian people to be mindless cattle that will consume the grub the House of Mouse will give them without question or any desire for actual quality to it.

Second, it recks of a certain mind set I hate within the American entertainment industry and some of its creators and consumers. That mind set being, that “non-traditional” American cultures supposedly don’t know better than Americans in what is okay for the sake of representation and entertainment or not. It’s a mindset that goes beyond the necessity of e.g. localizing a foreign product to the national market, by e.g. creating a sterilized, corporately mandated and rather unrealistic depiction of another culture within their product, that will fall apart as soon as the people who are supposed to be represented get a proper look at it and realize, how pandering and often times badly researched, if not outright offensive, it is.

Only recently did we see in the world of animation how that can backfire, when Disney released the trailer for “Primos” an upcoming animated show supposedly about a half Latina girl spending her summer vacation with her annoying cousins, people calling it based on the intro (and a leaked pilot) pandering towards a latino audience in a racist manner. And guess what: currently, Disney shelves it and tries to bury its existence like Dobson his old inflation art.

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Dobson himself has actually indulged in that sort of shit kinda, back with his infamous Nintendo comic.

Essentially calling the “true”, Nintendo corporation approved depiction of his childhood Nintendo heroes disgraceful, for not falling in line with the late 80s depictions he saw in localized, made in America products such as the DiC cartoons. That and minor homophobia mixed with misogyny by calling Link “girly” for having longer blond hair since Ocarina of Time and blaming fangirls for it.

Third, and that is kinda related to my prior point, the reality of things is, that “Asians” actually did not eat up that sort of thing in the last couple of years. Sure, there is always that thing about a Chinese market. the big movie companies try to pander to and may succeed with some dumb action flics featuring big robots.

But the reality is, that not even people living in a dictatorship will eat up every trash you give to them, just because it comes from Hollywood or is supported by their glorious leadership. Disney tried to create two pandering messes of movies for Chinese people to watch, called Mulan (the live action adaptation) and that Shang Chi movie. And how did they do there? Oh right! The government did not even allow Shang Chi to be released and Mulan was released but supposedly didn’t do so well, considering (COVID not withstanding) it only made 70 million globally!

Don’t get me even started on every human right controversy in relation to the later, starting with filming in China near a concentration camp and ending with the main actress being essentially a Chinese propaganda puppet.

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So, if those movies flopped, why would Chinese people for example flock for an Asian Hulk? A hulk that is not even Chinese but Korean.

See, this is another issue that fails with the example: The actual choice of character Dobson name dropped is actually kinda terrible.

For those unaware: Amadeus Cho is a supporting character in the Marvel comics, created in 2005 by American writer Greg Pak and artist Takeshi Miyazawa. The later, despite the name being very east Asian, sounding, actually being from Canada. Now both do have east Asian roots so to speak (Pak e.g. is the son of an Korean-american man with a Caucasian woman), but they also have grown up within a society that taught them both western social values more so than we would see in east Asian countries. So with the creators already not necessarily having the most real life experience with the average mindset of a Korean citizen, can we really say that their actual creation helps “represent” those people of a foreign, non-american culture?

And that is not even covering stuff like the actual story of the character itself.

See, in the comics, Cho is supposed to be an American-Korean genius (wish fullfillment much, Greg?) and one of the smartest people in the Marvel Universe. His parents named him after Amadeus Mozart (a pretty white motherfucker as far as I remember) and he grew up under Methodist beliefs. So basically the “Korean heritage” of the character has already been thrown out of the window. Now I don’t expect the character to act stereotypical Korean, listen to K-pop, declare bulgogi to be his favorite dish or any of that shit. But when you want to sell me the character as being in some way or another connected to his ancestral culture, shouldn’t he engage at least in some “Korean coded” things?

I mean, the character of Anne Boonchuy in Amphibia is a Thai-American who acts more like a 13 year old girl that learns to be less selfish and impulsive over the course of the show and whose “heritage” isn’t thrown at us, the viewer, most of the time. In fact, Anne herself acknowledges that she e.g. can’t really speak thai, despite her own mother being fluent in it and a season 3 episode reveals, that Anne is “begrudgingly” a part of the L.A. thai community. And yet, in connection to the shows story and as part of Anne’s characterization, her heritage is acknowledged and plays a part of who she is. Even if it simply means she knows how to cook certain thai dishes, loves her parents and their customs, helps out in their restaurant, can speak a few words thai and knows the basics of Muay Thai, a form of martial arts (and fighting sport) from Thailand.

Amadeus doesn’t even have Korean parents anymore, because they were killed as part of his tragic hero backstory. Nor has he ever visited an Asian country. Oppps.

To build further up on it, Amadeus becomes for the longest time simply a major supporting character in the Marvel universe for the likes of Hulk and Hercules, two white coded characters. Sure, he plays a major role in the defeat of some cosmic horror level villains (such as Mikaboshi in the Chaos God storyline most people forgot even existed) but it takes a long time for him to become a “A-lister” so to speak.

In fact, according to Wikipedia, it wasn’t till after “Secret Wars” in 2016 (eleven years after the character was created), that Amadeus thanks to a chain of events eventually got his chance to Hulk out. And then they still had to kill Bruce Banner to make Amadeus “stand out” initially (don’t worry, Bruce came back. I mean, characters actually staying dead in comics, so that heroes can learn there are consequences? Preposterous) In fact, Amadeus hasn’t really proven himself as a decent “solo” act. Instead he became a member of the Champions (among Miles Morales, Mrs. Marvel, Vision’s daughter Viv. Nova and Cyclops), essentially creating yet another superhero team for teenaged vigilantes. Despite the fact, Cho himself should be by now in his mid 20s.

Now look, I do not want to shit talk the character. Partly because I haven’t read everything he was in myself and partly because in the few things I did see him in (both pre- and post Hulk) he was okay. He is a decent hero and person, who tries to do good, even if he screws up here and there. That is something I can admire in a character in general. But he is not a good “representation” of another culture, because his complexion and minor physical features aside, he is NOT embodying even minor values or traditions of that foreign culture. He is simply a Korean-American (or technically Canadian), who falls more on the American side of things.

So essentially, Dobson who virtue signaled on multiple occasions how bad it is when companies he didn’t like tried to speak on behalf of other cultures, would have no problem at all to ask for Asian people to swallow this obviously “Made in American” product. The “Made in America” line actually working both on a metaphorical and a storytelling level, cause trying to google what “east Asian coded” heroes in the Marvel Universe actually come from an Asian country instead of being simply born on American soil, is pretty damn small.

After 20 minutes I only found Shang Chi, as he was born in China, and that character was created as part of kung-fu exploitation in the 70s by white dudes.

Yaiks

However, none of that tops the next two points that really sell Dobson to me as an American centralistic racist. Or at least a twat who doesn’t understand how through bad wording he comes of as ignorant of other people’s cultures.

The way he generalizes Asian people in his statement, while also ignoring the actual accomplishments in the creation of entertainment in multiple Asian countries.

If you’ve read closely what I typed, you may have seen that I used the term Asian at times in tandem with the term “east Asian” to e.g. describe Amadeus Cho.

And that had a very deliberate reason. While I was not a fan of geography in school, even I know that Asia as a continent is not “nationally” as homogenous as let’s say Australia or North America. In fact, Asia is the biggest continent on the planet, hosts more than half of earth’s population and consists of at least 47 internationally acknowledged states.

States such as Turkey, Russia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, China, Japan, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, North- and South Korea, Egypt, Israel, Iraq, Iran and so on.

Now what all these states have in common, is that they have their own unique historical, social and “racial” culture and background. Heck, religiously speaking, Asia is the cradle of the world.

As such, Dobson stating that a “Korean coded” character such as Amadeus Cho (who is only Korean on the most surface level and would technically just be a legacy character of yet another white person) would be an immediate hulk smash hit with all these different people of different backgrounds…. Yeah, it sounds like condescending, colonization inspired shit, a smooth brain would come up with.

To Dobson “Asia”, at least based on that comic, is only defined as the “yellow skinned” people from the far east, who like rice, noodles, spicy food and give us anime, Godzilla, fireworks, buddhism and communism. It does not include anyone from the middle east or of more European ancestry. And if you are even remotely familiar about history, you would also know that Japanese, Koreans and Chinese all around do not e.g. like to be thrown into a pot with the others for a variety of reasons. Many of them political.

Or to sum it up even shorter: Dobson insinuated that a very shallow, “east Asian” coded American comic character would be an immediate hit with more than 47 different countries, ignoring that not all of them share the same background despite being part of the “same” landmass. And in doing so, he simultaneously generalized and denounced entire groups of people based on their racial and cultural background, which in as far as I am aware of, is considered racist.

But the “racism” is supposedly justified, because “representation” matters, it would be giving the middle finger to “traditional” comic fans and those nations and their culture are underrepresented globally.

Which is baloney.

Don’t get me wrong, I myself think that representation does matter. But the world does not necessarily rely on the good old US-Ayy only to give it to us.

Cause a lot of the Asian nations I brought up here? They have their own entertainment industry and stories, which again, get ignored by Dobson to make a dumb and false point.

I mean, manga is currently dominating the international comic market, all while Japan has also a booming animation industry and some of the most iconic heroes in modern popculture with the likes of Son Goku, Kamen Rider, Super Sentai etc.

China has a prominent -if propaganda driven- movie industry.

India has Bollywood and delivers some of the most ridiculous but awesome musical movies on the planet.

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Russia had authors such as Tolstoy and movie directors, that redefined the “art” of filmmaking.

Korea had a few years ago one of the biggest streaming hits with Squid Game, while also earning an Oscar for a movie titled Dobs- I mean “Parasite”.

Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Turkey… even nations that have not entertainment living up to “western standards” still produce stuff in some way or form to entertain the masses and their people. Just google up the character Kara Murat aka the avenger of Anatolia.

And don’t get me even started on the sheer ton of mythology, stories and history each of their cultures have provided the world with. Journey to the West? Baba Yaga, the entirety of the Gilgamesh epos...

And yet, there is this indirect assumption by Dobson, that all of them would be so deprived of “heroes” in their media and folklore, they would letch on second hand shop Hulk? Fuck off, Dobbear. I know you like to suck corporate cock as long as you think they are woke and you have childhood nostalgia for them, but this is pathetic. Take Amadeus before A Rama Raju comes around and roundhouse kicks him back to Canada. Then get the taste of mouse smegma of your Disney cock gobbling lips.

#adobsonartwork #syac #hypocrisyofandrewdobson #amadeus cho #racisim #mcu #tom preston #andrew dobson #i am back #back again #guess who's back #Youtube

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tenebraevesper · 1 year

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Sonic Prime (My Thoughts)

So, I had just a marathon of the first 8 episodes of Sonic Prime and here are my initial thoughts before I start thinking rationally. Since my thoughts are too much of a mess to create any sort of proper cohesion, there will be spoilers.

First of all, Sonic Prime is awesome! I had so much fun watching it and every time one episode ended, I found myself craving for the next one. You know that something is good when you come to the end and find yourself wanting more. The animation, the voice acting, the action, the comedy, even the angst... it all hits right. Now, I might be biased, but honestly, I don’t care. I know that some people might not have the same opinion as I do, and that’s okay. I am proud to say I fully enjoyed every second of this show.

Next, the episodes themselves. Unless I have missed something, I don’t believe there was any filler episode. Instead, we have non-stop action, lore drop and even quiet moments. I did hear from someone that, at least in the beggining, the pacing is a bit off, but I guess this show needs a bit of a warm-up, but once it gains momentum, it just keeps going. I genuinely felt my heart racing at times (and it still is). Also, another thing to note is that episodes have flashbacks to show us more about Sonic’s life before the whole Shatterverse happened, including how we came to that moment. I can imagine that some people might find them tiring, but I didn’t.

The plot is also very simple. Sonic has to find the Paradox Prism Shards and save his friends and his world. Most episodes are centered around New Yoke City, which is the main world Sonic returns too whenever he leaves another world, with the Chaos Council (consisting of five Eggman at various ages) trying to track him down after learning what the Shard can do (also, Mr. Dr. Eggman wears a toupee).

Following next are the characters, and I gotta say I really enjoyed how they were all written. Although, I can imagine that some people will find Sonic obnoxious due to being very impulsive and not focusing (and Shadow constantly reminding him of that). However, he has his heart in he right place and genuinely reflects on his mistakes and wants to fix them. As for the other characters, I adore them all, especially Tails Nine (he’s definitely my favorite Shatterverse character). By the end, I just wanted to give him a hug.

Now, I’m pretty sure you’re wondering what the deal is with Shadow. After all, he was the character people were worried the most about when it came to writing, fearing he’ll be reduced to a Vegeta-esque behavior.

Well...

In all honesty... I absolutely love Prime!Shadow!

Now, I gotta give more context regarding his character in Sonic Prime, so be warned, this is spoiler territory you’re entering.

Shadow was basically introduced in the first episode watching Sonic’s fight with Dr. Eggman and him unleashing a blast of energy that led Eggman to the Paradox Prism. Then he appears again, telling Sonic how everything’s broken, before finally reappearing in the flashback and clocking Sonic in the face.

So, what gives?

Well, we learn in the second episode that the reason why Shadow was in Green Hill was because he was searching for a Chaos Emerald and eventually finding the green one.

Why was he searching for it, I have no clue, but I guess it would be a good idea to have one Chaos Emerald at hand just in case. We then see him reacting to the blue blast of energy and foreseeing what will happen next.

“Sonic!”

Not gonna lie, I legit laughed at his reaction. Out of context, it feels as if Shadow has a sixth sense for whenever Sonic messes things up. So, he quickly races to where Sonic is and punches him straight in the face, questioning him about what he had done, which leads to them fighting each other.

So, to put the debate to end, yes Sonic was just minding his own business when Shadow attacked him, but Shadow was also minding his own business when Sonic caused that energy blast.

In any case, Sonic engages in some banter, with Shadow telling him to listen for once. What he doesn’t do is tell Sonic what he saw (admittedly, Shadow was never the best at communicating) and the two continue their fight, with Sonic noting how he’s on a mission, only to not tell Shadow what this mission is about.

Let’s just say that this wouldn’t have happened if both Sonic and Shadow failed at communicating. In any case, Sonic manages to to get the drop on Shadow (in the most hilarious way possible; idk if that beats Boom!Eggman’s attempt to trick Boom!Shadow in Sonic Boom, but it was funny to me) and get back to his friends, with Shadow following him.

He manages to get to the entrance of the cave, just in time to see Sonic shattering the Paradox Prism and use Chaos Control to save himself.

However, that leads to him getting trapped inside the Void, which is basically a space between the worlds of the Shatterverse. He cannot escape it, but whenever Sonic kicks with his super speed into overdrive, he can somewhat communicate with the latter, trying to tell him what is going on. His exact advice was for Sonic to keep on running, as this is how they can maintain communication and it also appears to be a way for Sonic to go between worlds, since he is juiced up on Paradox Prism energy.

In the (currently) last episode, Sonic manages to enter the Void again, coming face-to-face with Shadow.

Sonic is surprised to see him, thinking this is another Shatterverse!Counterpart and tells him he just wants to go home.

“Home? Home doesn’t exist anymore because of you!”

Furious, Shadow punches Sonic again and before we can see the end result, the episode’s over. Episode 1 ends with Shadow punching Sonic and now Episode 8 ends the same, and I’m all for it.

Man, that was a roller-coaster. I definitely love what they did with Shadow and considering the information we’ve been given, Sonic and Shadow will have to learn to work together to figure things out (and hopefully get better at communicating). I read that there will be a whole episode centered around the two and I’m looking forward to seeing it.

Also, Sonic? Introducing your rival with “It’s complicated” makes me really raise an eyebrow.

Oh, and this gem...

‘‘...and by the way, he roller-skates!”

“They’re air shoes.”

Shadow just casually interrupting Sonic’s narration and breaking the 4th wall is everything.

In any case, I absolutely love Sonic Prime and I want more from it! Also, I’m probably gonna be insufferable about it.

#Ten's Thoughts #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #miles tails prower #amy rose #rouge the bat #big the cat #Shadow is 100% justified in beating up Sonic.#It's on sight!#Sonadow fans are gonna have a field day with these two.#I want more!#sonadow

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lesbianneopolitan · 7 months

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Last night I innocently uploaded the pic of Neo and Ruby gaming on Twitter, but I got pretty much replied by people who were very much judgmental and passive-aggressive about being shocked, etc, etc (lots of them minors), lost some followers, etc

I am very affected by those situations because at some points it feels like harassment for something so stupid (I've seen wishes of death towards me before for old Fallen Petals stuff), no one ever takes the moment to even talk with me about it, nor try to understand the development and process that made me ship it in the first place- that it's actually a pretty innocent wish of building up a cool ship to have fun with my friends.

I have very bad anxiety from PTSD and I don't have access to meds rn, so things that get out of hand can really affect my mental and physical health, like, people don't keep in mind that the major part of the time, the people they accuse are people with problems like me, that are dealing with irl stuff or trauma and simply want to have some positive fun on the internet, to escape a bit from it all- art and writing has been a good coping mechanism for me to not practice self harm, and my therapist was actually proud of me for it, so I don't want that taken from me, specially when I'm mindful and tag things properly. And when honestly, discovering RWBY and messing around with some ships helped to make me happier. Because I think it was about time.

RubyNeo isn't even following all canon details, Ruby's more practiced and slightly older, and honest to God, I don't see what's wrong with building an AU with headcanons when we aren't doing it for the sake of, what?? only having them fuck?? or oversexualizing them?? the people that literally oversexualizes Ruby and only do lewds or only smash her against another character so they fuck is something that pushes me SO back because I personally find it disgusting (and if I'm in a mood I can have am anxiety attack for it, same for other dynamics, like incest, etc etc).

So for the love of everything, blacklist, block me or whatever, but understand the kind of person I am or the building for the things I do or the things I draw before I'm labeled as things I'm not. Because I'm sure you wouldn't want it to happen to you.

Treat me like a person, not like some kind of idealized artist that has to be perfect.

Show some empathy, try to be understanding, not everyone that ships 'x' is going to be a super evil person that did it with the most malicious intent in the world. Sometimes we're simply playing with them like they're Barbies, to create stories, angst, wholesome moments, independent timelines, etc.

Like I mentioned I myself deal with PTSD, there are so many things that despite being presented in good faith could throw me off the edge because of triggers, but I simply take care of myself and tag stuff, I blacklist and in the worst case I block, specially if someone is specially harmful and toxic to real people.

So please, just, let me be, I'm just a nerd trying to live life alongside friends to be as happy as I can because I've had enough abuse already.

Be kinder unless the person in question is GENUINELY harming real people and are potential real creeps, please, I'm tired.

#neo.txt #vent #rant #ask to tag #PSA

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softguarnere · 2 months

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For Whatever We Lose

Lewis Nixon x OFC (slow burn, enemies to lovers) Chapter Seven: A Twisted Satisfaction

Summary: Whatever Minerva imagined that Toccoa would be like at night flies out the window the second she experiences the real thing. It is, in a word: madness. A/N: Today's fun fact: the fight mentioned with the man in the 511th actually did happen! The story was told to me by a local when I was working in Toccoa, and it was too good to pass up on sprinkling it into a fic :) Warnings: language, alcohol Taglist: @kujofam @dcyllom

No longer able to punish them for alleged incidents of fraternization, Sobel runs the company with more vengeance than before. Anything and anyone is fair game. He taunts Bianca when she is chosen to become a medic. Instead of congratulating Lori on improving her time up Currahee the way Dick does, he takes to running right behind her, jeering at her the whole time. When Anna tries to lead them in a marching song one day to keep time, he tells her to shut up and that she sounds like a dying cat.

But – no longer able to revoke weekend passes for fraternization, the women of Easy Company finally get their first taste of Toccoa’s night life.

“Last week a man from the 511th got thrown through a window of a department store after he hit another man over the head with a bottle opener,” Minerva relates to Keziah as the girls race around the bunkhouse to get ready.

“Where’d you hear that?” Lori asks over her shoulder as she brushes her red locks. “One of those private sources you’re never able to disclose?”

Minerva ignores her. In actuality, her source had been Webster, who had watched it all happen. He’s a good source; he relays his stories very well. No wonder he wants to be a writer.

“Where are you gonna go?” Keziah asks. “I’m going with Guarnere, Luz, and Toye to some place they like in the middle of town. Gonna kick Luz’s ass in darts.”

“My money is on you.” If the Oklahoman is as good at throwing darts as she is at shooting, all bets placed on Luz are hopeless. “I don’t know. Webster asked if I wanted him to show me around.”

A smile tugs at the edges of Keziah’s lips. “He’s in love with you. You know that, right?”

I could say the same about Guarnere with you, Minerva thinks, biting her lip to stop herself. Keziah is only just at a point of accepting that Guarnere does not, in fact, look at her so often because he hates her. Still, it might be something of a shock if the real reason were revealed. Minerva can’t decide if Keziah genuinely hasn’t picked up on the fact that the Philadelphian has a crush on her, or if she’s just ignoring it for unknown reasons.

“You’re not answering,” Keziah singsongs with a laugh.

“Well, what am I supposed to say?” No really – what is she supposed to say? David is thoughtful and well spoken and kind and he listens to her. He makes her feel funny things in her chest that she hasn’t experienced since she was a teenager and that she hasn’t allowed herself to analyze yet because . . . Well. “He’s handsome. There, are you happy?”

“Very.”

Good, Minerva thinks. Because that is as far as this thing goes.

Whatever Minerva imagined that Toccoa would be like at night flies out the window the second she experiences the real thing. It is, in a word: madness.

Part of it is probably the shock of being from such a small town. But, to be fair, she did go to college in the state’s capital, and she got her fair share of the city. So it’s not crowds, lights, and noise that are new to her – it’s the utter chaos of military men being set loose in a military town. Specifically, the men who are dead set on catching a local girl to write to once they’re off fighting. They’re particularly rowdy. But one thing that most of the men have in common is that they’re drunk – and many of them seem to be looking for a fight.

Minerva holds her head high as she marches through town in her uniform. She’s always been tall, but seeing these men and realizing that she’s one of them makes her feel proud, which makes her feel just as tall as they are. The playing field is not exactly even – it may never really be – but this is something, at least.

Several Easy Company men call out in greeting as Minerva and Webster enter the bar. They call back, smiling, laughing already, as though they’re already part of the good time.

“You might want to stick close to us,” Don Malarkey suggests after Minerva gets a drink and finds a seat.

“Oh? And why is that?”

She’s expecting some sort of joke, but Malarkey’s face is more serious than she’s ever seen it.

“There are a lot of men here who don’t like the idea of female paratroopers,” he explains in a low voice. “I don’t think they’ll give you a hard time as long as you’re with men from our company. You know we’ll back you up.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“Stay safe, Sarge.”

She plans to. She has Webster with her, after all.

Once he gets some alcohol into his system, Webster can wax poetic like never before. He holds himself back though, which is impressive. He only spouts something beautiful whenever someone addresses him directly. And when they call him “Harvard” or “Professor,” he only smiles in response, though his eyes take on a somber, faraway look.

Minerva, for her part, feels more relaxed than she has since arriving in Toccoa months ago. She sings drinking songs with Malarkey and shoots some whiskey with Skinny Sisk. She’s only twenty-two, but the days of doing this sort of thing in college feel like a lifetime ago. So much has happened since then, she realizes. Then she immediately downs another shot to chase the memories away.

She cuts herself off, partially because Lieutenant Speirs arrives and challenges her to a game of darts. She may have beaten him running Currahee, but she needs all her wits about her to beat him in darts – especially because he doesn’t drink, and therefore has more command of his hand-eye coordination.

Minerva lets out a low whistle when he reveals that fact. “With all the temptation around you? You must be a saint.”

Speirs – or Ron, as he assures her that she can call him – only smirks in response. “Far from it.”

It’s at that moment – when she should be having fun and enjoying the game with her friend – that she spots him. A group at a nearby table gets up to leave, and it clears a path of vision to reveal several officers sitting along the wall, chatting with each other while they drink. And there among them, of course, is Lieutenant Nixon. She wouldn’t care too terribly much, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s glaring at her.

Glaring at her like she’s done something wrong. Glaring at her like he dislikes her – although that last part might be true, based on what happened back in the rain.

You backed out of kissing me! Minerva thinks. If anyone should be mad, it should be me.

Then, to her surprise, she realizes that she’s not mad. She hasn’t been mad, anyway. Only hurt, stung by his sudden rejection. Embarrassed, actually, about the fact that she tried to kiss him, which just makes her feel scorned. But now that he’s looking at her like this, so angry and with so much uncalled for hatred, she feels a spark catch in her heart, and it quickly turns into a flame, into a fiery inferno. Hatred is so easy to catch, and it can consume a person so quickly.

Well, fine! If he wants to be mad that he missed his chance, then he can keep on pouting. And he can keep on glaring, too, because she won’t give him the time of day.

Her chest feels light with the satisfaction that spurning someone can bring as she turns back to Ron, smiles, and suggests, “Up for round two?”

She throws herself into the night in a way that she hasn’t allowed herself to since she was a teenager and in college and free for the first time in her life. When she is just Minerva and not an older sister or a teacher or any of her other responsibilities, she can have so much more fun. And when she can feel Lieutenant Nixon’s angry glare on her back every time she laughs or is congratulated by the men of Easy Company for a good shot at the dart board, she feels a twisted sense of satisfaction that adds to the effect of her fun.

Fun – that’s what all this is. It’s what it’s all about. From the very beginning, too, the second that she raced into that recruiter’s office and put her name down for the Airborne. She’s having fun.

They’re just having fun, she tells herself when the night has grown dark and she and Webster have decided to head back to camp, only to grow distracted halfway there and hide behind the town’s movie theater, leaned against the wall, hiding in the shadows as they press their lips together.

“Is this – “ Webster gasps between breaths. “Is this okay?”

“You’re a good kisser,” Minerva assures him as she runs a hand through his hair and pulls him back in for more.

Webster waits until they both surface for air before he tries to clarify what he means. “I mean – Minerva. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Minerva stops, pressing her head against the wall behind her as she considers his words. I don’t want to get you in trouble. That’s sweet. They both know that she would probably get into much more trouble for this than he would.

She nods in agreement. “Okay, then. Let’s quit while we’re ahead.”

Webster sags as he exhales. The shadows they hide in cast a mask over his face, but they do not conceal his disappointment. “I wish we didn’t have to.” A quite laugh escapes him. “I haven’t blown off steam like this in a while.”

That makes two of us, Minerva thinks at the same time that an idea springs fully-formed into her mind. “That’s all this is.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Webster rushes to explain. “I just meant – “

“I know,” Minerva interrupts. “But you’re right. Secret relationships always get found out in the end; they’re harder to hide. Blowing off steam is more casual. You only do it once in a while.”

Webster tilts his head. “Are you suggesting - ?”

Minerva shrugs. She’s perfectly fine with leaving the ball in his court, letting him be the one who makes or breaks this thing. It’s nice to have a break from responsibility and decision making every now and then – fun, even.

“So we’re not going together. We’re not a couple,” Webster clarifies. “Just blowing off steam every now and then?”

“If you want.”

The Harvard man considers this. He raises an eyebrow. “And we would still be friends? Because I don’t want to lose that.” He sounds almost nervous when he adds, “I like being around you, Minerva.”

“Of course we’d be friends,” she assures him. “Just friends with . . . more, every now and then.”

A beat passes while he considers their situation. Finally, he nods.

“Okay. Yeah, I think this could work.”

“Me, too.” Minerva smiles. She closes her eyes as Webster leans in again, feeling him smiling against her own lips.

Minerva feels like she’s floating on the way back to the bunkhouse. Once they near the camp, she and Webster put a respectful distance between themselves, and they try not to smile or laugh too much at anything the other says.

She feels like she’s seventeen again when she slips into the bunkhouse and makes her way over to her bed, except this time there is no sneaking in, no relying on anyone catching her to keep their mouth shut. In fact, hardly anyone notices when she arrives. Very few of the girls are back, and the ones who are appear to be asleep.

The bed next to hers creaks as Keziah rolls over. She lies on her back, watching Minerva.

“Hey,” she greets quietly.

“Hi,” Minerva replies. “How’d it go?”

Keziah shrugs. “It was fun. How was your night?”

“The same.” She flops down onto her bed and sighs. It had been fun. Now that she’s back, however, some of the magic is wearing off, just like it always does. But instead of crawling under her blankets and then waking up in the morning to take on the world with her friends, she realizes that she will go to sleep on a thin mattress and wake up in the morning to run up a mountain. There will be no morning debrief with Helen where they laugh over things boys said to them the night before. John-Michael won’t ask her questions over breakfast. And Jack won’t –

Still dressed, she lies on her back the way Keziah does, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe it was more fun when we were teenagers, though, and there wasn’t a war on. There wasn’t much to worry about then.”

Not looking over, she can hear the pillow rustle as Keziah nods. “I don’t think things will ever be the same again,” she muses.

Something surges in Minerva’s chest like a strong tide coming in. Her breath hitches in her throat.

“I guess you’re right,” she realizes aloud. She will never be a teenager again. The world has moved on, has changed. It is changing, all around them, as history is being made every day. There is no going back. The world is a different place now, and by the end of the war, it may be utterly unrecognizable.

The night on the town soon reveals itself to be a reprieve; nothing more than the eye of a hurricane giving them all a false sense of safety before the rest of the storm hits.

“Athena!” A voice behind Minerva barks the next morning as she leads the Women’s Squad to breakfast.

Facing away from him, Minerva rolls her eyes at the harsh tone in Captain Sobel’s voice as he calls her the wrong name . . . again. She has to force a smile onto her face before she turns around to face him, all fake niceties. “Captain?”

“There’s been a change of plans today,” Captain Sobel informs her. “The women’s work on the rifle range a few days ago was sloppy at best.” He enunciates the p with an annoying pop that grates on her nerves. “I simply cannot report these scores to Colonel Sink in good conscious.”

During the holdup, Diana has followed Minerva’s lead and stepped away from the rest of the Women’s Squad. A wrinkle of confusion appears between her eyebrows when she catches the captain’s words. “What would you have us do about it, sir?” she asks.

You would have to be quick to catch it, and luckily, Minerva is – she sees the way that Sobel blinks in surprise when Diana speaks, as if he hadn’t bothered to notice her before she did so. He looks at her now like she’s utterly inconsequential.

“Well, Sergeant, I would have you fix it. Take all day if you have to. In fact, do just that. After breakfast, report to the range and run drills until I come to get you for lunch.” As if he expects either of them to protest, he barely pauses for breath before rushing to add, “Practice makes perfect, after all. And I expect each and every one of you to be flawless by this afternoon.”

He turns on his heel, ready to leave, but Minerva stops him.

“What about Private Mancini, Captain?”

Sobel spins around, dark brow quirked, his mouth a hard line, every syllable tight when he questions, “What about her?”

“She’s a medic,” Minerva reminds him. “Should she come with us? Or go with the male medics to their training?”

For a second, Sobel flounders. He must make up his mind, though, because he seems pleased with himself when he gives Minerva an answer. “Let her go with the male medics.” He laughs to himself and says in a voice that was clearly not supposed to be heard by the sergeants in front of him, “There’s no helping that girl’s aim anyways.”

Incised on Bianca’s behalf, Minerva and Diana lead the women to the rifle range after breakfast with a newfound sense of purpose. Bianca is still sent off with the male medics, but the other women do nothing but train, train, train. Anita, already the best shot of them all, is bored out of her mind within an hour, and Minerva has to send her to help those having trouble in order to keep her occupied so that she stops showing off.

“Goddamn.” Katherine whistles when the girl from New Mexico manages to hit Lucinda’s target from three spaces over. “She’ll be a sniper by the end of the day!”

The end of the day in question seems to be fast approaching. There’s been no sign of Captain Sobel since he sent them here this morning, and judging by the angle of the sun overhead, that’s been ages ago.

“Funny,” Diana mutters, as if she can read Minerva’s mind. “If he wanted us to improve so badly, you would think that he would be here to oversee this.”

But their captain doesn’t appear. Women start to mutter about being hungry as lunch time comes and goes. They’ve been on the range so long that even Lori, the weakest shot of the group, has vastly improved. Still, no sign of Captain Sobel.

It has to be some sort of test, but Minerva can’t make out his angle. When he finally comes to collect them, will he try to turn the other women against her by claiming that they could have left at any time instead of waiting for him? Somehow or other, he’s going to make this her fault. She can feel it in her gut, the same way that she can sense a storm coming across the ocean while out shrimping with her father and grandfather back home.

Around the time that Minerva starts to wonder if the purpose of this whole thing is actually to make her doubt if she heard him correctly, a figure appears in the distance. Tall, dark haired, and wearing PT clothes, he’s approaching quickly.

“Finally,” Anna mutters, slinging her rifle across her back in relief.

Minerva is about to agree when she realizes that the figure coming towards the range isn’t Captain Sobel – it’s Lieutenant Nixon. She mutters a choice word under her breath before he comes into earshot, and it makes innocent Diana’s cheeks go scarlet.

Nixon is one of the last people she wants to see right now. She may have gotten some satisfaction out of annoying him at the bar a few nights before when she ignored him, but that doesn’t mean that she’s willing to interact with him. Especially not with that expression on his face – the one that clearly says he would rather not be interacting with her, either.

We have that in common, at least, she thinks to herself as the lieutenant comes to a stop in front of her.

The first thing she notices is that his shirt is soaked through with sweat. His hair, too. Has he just come back from PT?

Before she can get answers, he offers both her and Diana a curt nod. “Sobel sent me to find you. Easy Company is meeting outside the barracks, now.”

Something about the way he says the last word sends them all into action. One second the Women’s Squad is on the rifle range, and the next they’re falling into attention beside the barracks.

Their order and timeliness goes unappreciated. Several men glare daggers at them as they approach. Others look confused. Bianca, having been off with the male medics all day, glances between her sergeants and captain with raised brows. Captain Sobel himself whips around the second they appear, and the next thing Minerva knows, he’s in her and Diana’s faces, demanding to know where they’ve been.

Diana opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. Instead of watching her struggle, Minerva steps in.

“Sir,” she says in her best teacher voice, which is pleasant and steady – the exact opposite of how she feels right now. “You sent us to the rifle range this morning and gave orders that we were not to leave until you came to collect us for lunch.”

“You must have taken a break for lunch,” Captain Sobel insists. “The runner I sent at noon said he couldn’t find you.”

“What runner?” One of the girls behind her mutters. It’s said quietly enough that Minerva thought only she could hear it, but Captain Sobel is practically omnipotent when he wants to be.

The words are hardly spoken before he demands, “Who said that?!”

Lucinda, Minerva’s mind supplies the answer, because there’s only one person that Southern drawl could belong to.

When no one fesses up, it only enrages their Captain more. His face is scarlet as he flies into a lecture about the importance of following orders, of not disobeying your superior officer. What’s more, some of the men are snickering at them as they observe the lecture.

How dare they! Minerva tries to silence them with a cool glare – and that’s the first time she notices that several men’s white PT shirts are stained down the front with something orange.

She’s so caught up in attempting to figure out what happened to the men while they were on the rifle range that she misses the last part of Captain Sobel’s lecture, and her only real cue that the Women’s Squad’s embarrassment is finally over is that Diana bumps her arm into hers before turning to lead the girls back to their bunkhouse.

The men must have been dismissed, too, because they start towards the barracks as well. But as soon as their captain is out of sight, many of the men pick up the pace, glaring at the women as they pass them.

“So much for being a team,” someone spits.

“Went missing during the worst day of our lives – how goddamn convenient.”

Obviously, something has happened. It’s becoming clear that it must have been awful, but Minerva can’t for the life of her connect the dots to make out the picture. She needs more information, and from someone she trusts. Trying not to get trampled by the rest of the company, she searches the crowd, looking for a friendly face.

Keziah beats her to it.

“Hey, Luz.” She grabs George’s arm to catch his attention, to pull him a bit closer when she quietly asks, “What the hell’s going on?”

Luz lets out a noise that’s somewhere between a sigh and a bitter laugh. “We were told we had the morning off and were given a nice spaghetti lunch. We were in the middle of enjoying it when, out of nowhere, Sobel showed up and made us run Currahee.”

Minerva winces in sympathy. That explains the orange stains on the fronts of their shirts – spaghetti sauce.

“Quite a show. Sorry you missed it when you were . . .” He cocks a brow, waiting for someone to fill in the blanks.

“On the range, just like Sergeant Revels said!” Even though she’s rushing to her defense in the heat of the moment, it’s strange to hear her friend call her by her rank instead of her name. “Sobel abandoned us there all day and told us we weren’t allowed to leave until he came to get us.”

Understanding dawns on Luz’s face. “He wanted to make it look like you all played hooky to get out of running with us. He’s trying to drive a wedge between the men and the Women’s Squad.”

“Well.” Minerva bites her lip, looking at the angry faces all around them. “Mission accomplished.”

All the hard work of Winter’s scavenger hunt – undone in an instant. Sure, there are those who will understand, like George. But certain others, who didn’t care for the women to begin with, are so blinded by the rage of what they have just experienced that they aren’t seeing clearly.

At this rate, the Women’s Squad may never be fully accepted by the men of Easy Company as equals.

#lewis nixon #lewis nixon x ofc #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers oc #hbo war #hbo war fanfic #for whatever we lose #oc minerva revels #my writing

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greatbigbellies · 6 months

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ANNOUNCING THE 2023 PREGNANCY KINK ADVENT CALENDAR!

After months (Yes, months) of planning and on and off work throughout this year, I am excited to unveil the 2023 Pregnancy Kink Advent Calendar! From December 1st to December 24th, I have new, unreleased, completely original content going up EVERY day. These range from written kink fics (clocking in at approximately 1k words each with some longer exceptions), some batches of pictures, both bare bellied and with a fake bump, multiple kink audios, AND a video floating around in there! I’ve been working hard planning, writing, recording, and editing everything for this for a while now, and I’m super excited to show it all off. I began work on this back in APRIL, so it’s been a labor of love (pun intended) that I’m really proud to have finished in time for december this year. Those vague calls for kink audio ideas that never seemed to come up again? Those repeat posts asking what people would scribble on my belly? Yeah, those were all for this. Which means if you sent something to me in response to those, congrats, it probably made it in!

So settle in and enjoy! New stuff drops starting 12/1/2023 all the way up to and including christmas eve! This whole thing was a fair bit of work but a LOT of fun to do, and if it gets enough positive interaction, I would be very open to doing it again next year. Check back every day for something new!

Additional details, context, and a bit of “developer commentary” under the cut!

So… what should I expect from this?

This is a larger scale project that I’ve been building for well over half a year, and I did my best to provide some variety to it. There is, of course, some good ol McPreggo content in there. Because it’s one of the most popular things this blog has to offer, I get a ton of asks about it, and it’d be silly of me to not give that crowd some love. That said, if you’re not really into McPreggo or rapid preg as a whole, fret not, there’s lots of other content to enjoy! Most of the written pieces involve longer progressions split over multiple posts. This is by design, because I didn’t want any one post to be too long (advent calendars are supposed to be easily consumed ‘treats’, but not whole presents unto themselves), but it’s hard to do anything meaningful with only 1K words to a post. If you’ve read my older stuff, like some of the comms I fulfilled a few years ago, you know the buildup and foreplay is really my strongest aspect, and it’s no different here (if you haven’t but would like to, the ‘commissions’ and ‘writing’ tags on my blog will take you where you want to go). Nothing in the calendar has any outright SEX scenes in it, but there’s plenty of pregnant contrivances and paragraph long descriptions of heavy bellies that you’ll find something you’ll like! There’s over 13k words cumulatively across all the writing, so there’s a wide breadth to enjoy!

The audios range from 3 and a half to 6 minutes long, with one more experimental, slow burn exception. They range from sweet to spicy, and might be my favorite content in the whole calendar. While previously I had been taking a premise and improvising most of it, these new ones are pretty tightly scripted, and I genuinely think they came out better for it. Less repetition, more creatively, and was able to work in some sound effects to set the scene and tone for some of them. I think you’ll enjoy them!

Outside of that, I’m going to leave the rest as a surprise. Like I said, I’ve got audio, video, pictures, and writing, so there’s a lot to look forward to!

Is this something I’m supposed to pay for?

Absolutely not, this is all free. I made this because I wanted to, and wanted to share it with people. This blog is 5 years old now and is sporting well over 5K followers, which is to say it has way more popularity and staying power than I expected it to when I made it. You guys are great, and wanted to, in my own weird way, treat everyone who has been following, sending asks, and chatting with me so far. If you really genuinely would like to give back, I have tips turned on for my blog, but I’m putting this out there not expecting anything back.

This is THE PEOPLES preg kink content, damnit!

Are you going to do this again next year?

If people enjoy it, then I would like to, yes! I’m not some harsh corporation with strict engagement minimums to uphold, so I don’t know what “enough” interaction looks like to justify a 2024 edition but if people are liking and reblogging, and I get an ask or two about it, then I’d call that a win! It’s just good to know that hard work is appreciated, y’know?

If anyone else out there likes the idea and wants to do something similar, I would be very excited at the prospect of collaborating in the future. It’s not lost on me that this whole production doesn’t have any kink art, but believe me, you don’t want to see me try to draw something resembling a person, let a lone trying to make it sexy. Even if someone wanted to contribute a single article, a written piece, some art, an audio even, even just 1 “day” of content for people to enjoy would be amazing. Any outside contributors would, of course, receive credit for their work and have their main tumblr (or other kink social media) listed in their post.

Honestly, if I had enough people reach out and want to contribute, I would likely just create a separate sideblog JUST for pregnancy fetish advent calendars, so it’s not going up on any ONE contributor’s blog to benefit them above anyone else. I didn’t want to reach out to artists in the community going “hey would you like to draw some free art for this thing I’m doing that I’m gonna post in december, I swear”, because that just reads like a scam. I’m hoping that, having made and rolled out everything myself at least once, it can stand as proof that I am genuine about this kind of thing. A way to prove for someone that has the drive and bandwidth to work on this, that I’m not going to take credit or otherwise run off having gotten free art/work.

If you’re reading this and have something you would be interested in contributing to the calendar next year, my DMs are open, and it is never too early!

Any other questions, or just to share what you think about it all, shoot me an ask or a DM!

#2023 pregnancy kink advent calendar #long post

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presidenthades · 9 months

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I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 10!

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

In the book, Aegon II is capable of being very vicious, and I think Tom Glynn-Carney once described Aegon as being good at spotting people’s weaknesses. So it makes sense to me that Aegon would figure out Alyssa’s weaknesses for lemon cakes and shamelessly use her to deprive Daemon of sleep.

Luce has been hiding in her family’s apartments the last three days, so when Aemond (who is probably visiting his mother) sees her from the window, he *ruuuuuuns* outside to catch her. I tried to frame it as a very romantic scene (if you ignore that Daemon, Joff, and Otto are all eavesdropping) so the rejection would be more painful. 🥲

I think when the Targ kids were growing up, they all had this implicit understanding that of course Jace would marry Aegon, and of course Luce would marry Aemond, and Joff would probably marry Daeron because she’s not going to put up with anyone else. It isn’t until the adults share their opinions that they realize this might not be the case.

The ring Aemond gives Luce is a tension ring which is useful for knitting and yarncraft. That’s why Luce wears it; not only is it from Aemond, it also has a functional purpose.

Show!Aemond seems to have a code of honor, and he realizes he and Luce acted very inappropriately. Nobody is forcing him to marry Luce, but he *wants* to. Aemond is the kind of person to hold onto the past as long as he doesn’t have closure, so he’s clinging to the relationship he had with Luce pre-Driftmark, but he’s also clinging to the letter where she wrote that she hates him and never wants to see him again.

Part of him is genuinely upset/angry that she would send a cruel message like that after his eye incident, and he wants her to acknowledge that. But Luce doesn’t acknowledge it because she doesn’t know about the letter, and Aemond is too proud to bring it up directly, so he just makes passive-aggressive allusions instead 💀

Meanwhile, Luce is confused and frustrated because she doesn’t understand what Aemond is alluding to. She thinks Aemond is putting words in her mouth, and that upsets her, but she’s also too proud to directly ask about it so she just fights with Aemond instead 💀

Of all the marriages Luce has seen, the most successful one is Corlys and Rhaenys’s (Luce wouldn’t know about their private disagreements). They never argue in public and they seem to have good synergy with each other. That is the opposite of her and Aemond, so she’s afraid that after the initial hormones wear off, she and Aemond might regret each other, even though her instinct is telling her she wants to marry Aemond (but that same instinct gets her in trouble a lot soooo…). She’s also been assured by her family that she doesn’t have to pick a husband right now, so she’s taking the gift of time they’re offering.

Aemond asks Luce why she’s saying no, and she points out a lot of the above, which is what provokes Aemond into finally showing her the letter (which he carries around because even though the contents hurt, it’s the only letter she’s supposedly ever sent him).

This is the moment that Otto launches Operation Celtigar. He previously warned Aemond not to act on his feelings for Luce but Aemond isn’t listening, so Otto is resorting to drastic measures.

Jace’s life has been seriously disrupted by her broken nose. Image is very important in this society, and if she looks like she got punched in the face right after her wedding (broken noses often come with black eyes and other bruising in the area), some people was the culprit simply because he’s her husband. Also she’s feeling very self-conscious (she’s a young girl), so all in all it’s better if she stays out of public eye until she’s healed.

It takes a broken nose 2-3 weeks to heal (thanks, Dr Google), and those 2-3 weeks are prime time for Jace to schmooze with all the wedding guests before they leave. (Most are waiting a while after the wedding to go home because travel takes a long time.) Even though she doesn’t want Aegon to break Daemon’s nose (she views violence as the last resort, not the easy solution), she does want him to confront the consequences of his actions. Daemon won’t actually be helpful interviewing the ladies-in-waiting, but it’s a punishment that works for him because he hates it so much. (I, on the other hand, would choose a royal tea party over being punched in the nose any day.)

Elinor Massey is a minor character mentioned in Fire & Blood. Elinda Massey is named as one of Rhaenyra’s ladies-in-waiting, and she’s the only named LIW on the show. I decided to make them niece-aunt in this fic. Historically, court positions like LIW could be hereditary; if you find a good servant, the first place you look to hire a new one is their family.

When the book and show canon diverge to the point of being irreconciliable, I usually pick show canon (although there are exceptions, namely Aegon being a rapist). One of these divergences is Daemon/Laena’s marriage, and the show depicts it as not as happy as it could have been (Laena says something along those lines in Episode 6). My interpretation for the purposes of this fic is that Daemon tried to make it work and he did love Laena, but not enough to make him forget about his life in Westeros with Viserys and Rhaenyra. I think Rhaena was closer to her mother, so she judges him particularly severely for this.

Garmund Hightower is Rhaena’s second husband in Fire & Blood. In this fic, she selects him as a potential husband not because of love (she and Helaena are going strong). Rhaena wants a husband who will leave her and Helaena in peace, but she wants to avoid an Androw Farman situation (Queen Rhaena’s last husband; you can read about him on the ASOIAF wiki). For a variety of reasons, Garmund suits all of her needs.

Still, Rhaena doesn’t especially *want* to marry, and she’d be okay being a spinster as long as she’s in the capital with Helaena. But she’s preparing for the possibility that she’ll be called upon to form a marital alliance, whereupon she can produce her own candidate. Of course she knows Daemon would hate Garmund on principle, so she isn’t planning to mention Garmund until she has to, but Luce spills the beans.

I also think there would have been a certain poetry in Rhaena and Helaena marrying husbands from the other’s mother’s family. It would actually counterbalance the Blacks and the Greens a little.

I said most of my thoughts above about the letter situation, but I want to point out that Luce *is* aware she’s bad at controlling herself around Aemond. She acknowledges that Daemon’s meddling played a role in their estrangement but it wasn’t the entire reason; she and Aemond need to learn to communicate in a healthy way. (Driftmark = Love Island? Lol)

Daemon thinks life would be easier with all boys, but that’s just canon HOTD and we know how that turns out…

#my writing #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #meta #hotd fic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon’s handbook

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siriuslysatorusimping · 4 months

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Kiko I hope you had a great first day at your new job!!!! And I hope the shit weather we're getting in Louisiana isn't hitting your part of your state cuz boy am I not having fun anymore lol. I have 2 things to bug you with on this Tuesday morning- I do have a teeny tiny lil Goinko ask: I am so curious to hear Gojo's inner dialogue when he's watching Rinko fight. Like the genuine sorta oh shit she's tough, oh shit she aint weak, Jesus what a badass... I'm gonna fuck her xD The second- I have been toying with the idea of writing my own fanfic with my own OC and um... I can't seem to start. I have a decent idea of the general plot, no clue how it will end, but I open up Word, type two words, and then close the program. Idk if I need advice or encouragement lol but I look up to you a lot as a writer so I decided to make it your problem too 😅

RAI, HELLO! 💕

I did have a great first day! It was long and exhausting, but in a good way! 😊

The weather has just been kinda cold and foggy. Like, my drive home today was very foggy. Could barely see at all. But other than that, it. hasn't been too bad!!

YOU ARE NOT BUGGING ME BUT I WILL PLAY ALONG 😂

My answers are below the cut!!

Gojo's inner monologue when he sees Rinko fighting? 🤔🤔

In a few situations, he's super smug that she's doing so well because he knows she doesn't even realize or acknowledge how strong she actually is. So when she's just destroying something, he's all cocky and proud of her. It reminds him how much he loves her because she can take care of herself. One of the things he's always appreciated about her is that she doesn't let her insecurities or pride get her into situations that are too much for her to take. She's not arrogant. She doesn't show off. She's just there to get the job done. But that's what makes it so sexy to him.

So when he sees Rinko fighting, he's literally just like, 'That's my girl. So sexy and strong. I love her so much. Ass looks incredible, too. And she needs to hurry because as soon as she wraps this up, she's mine. Wonder how pissed she'll be if I just take her here-' because he's a horny boi who always wants to be inside her 😂😂

Advice for how to start with your fic?

Don't try to start from the beginning. Start somewhere in the middle, and work from there. The ending doesn't have to be established right away, either. That can develop as you figure out the story! But as for how and where to start, anywhere. Have a random bit of dialogue? Start with that. It doesn't have to stay in the end, but having something there will really help you. Write nonsense. Write ideas. Concepts. Anything to get those juices flowing. Because nothing is more daunting than a blank page.

Two things I saw recently made me realize that I already did these things most of the time:

Writing choppy, maybe cheesy or dumb dialogue. You can fill in the rest later, or not at all. You can change it up or edit it, but cutting and editing, or even re-writing, is easier than getting yourself to write the initial draft.

"You look like shit." "Sure know how to charm a girl, huh?" "You'd be more pissed if I lied to you." "True." "Still look awful, though." "Fuck off."

You don't have to put markers or indicators because it's a first draft. First draft and final draft are rarely going to match, and that's okay. Preferred most of the time, actually. But yeah, just toss that dialogue down to help you get started and then go from there!

Start with notes or random shit about what you want to happen. Some people put it in brackets to describe the setting, scene, or character's actions so that they can continue writing without being bogged down by the pressure to figure out the rest perfectly.

I'll provide an example or two from a WIP of the lockout key idea dump I posted a while ago. (I make no promises that I'll ever finish or post this, but it's the best example I could find that doesn't spoil a bunch of stuff for the other stories)

[he comes to ask for a key even though he's already maxed out his number of lockout keys. he ends up trying to lean in closer and she shoves a cookie in his mouth instead] - this one is a general idea and one thing I definitely want to happen in that scene/snippet

[fire drill in the middle of the night forcing everyone outside until the alarm stops going off. he forgets his key because he had to rush out while he was half-asleep.] - this one is describing the primary setting for the scene/snippet: they're outside, he's very sleepy, and he forgot his key.

All in all, don't be afraid of being random and choppy for your first draft!

I hope this advice helped, Rai! I'm afraid I might have babbled a bit... 🙃

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE WELL!! 💕💕💕💕

#rai's messages #kiko and rai convos #kiko's writing advice #goinko asks #another level asks

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fionacle · 8 months

Text

My college essay is 725 words, I need to cut it down to 600 by time my dad gets home today, but I like how it is now, so I’m posting it. It’s about how autistic people are viewed in society and the misuse of the word special to refer to them (us?). It’s below the cut.

I couldn’t tell you the first time it happened, most things before high school are a blur, but I’ve often heard others called special. The usage of this is not what special is supposed to mean. Special things are supposed to be important and unique, they matter a lot, it’s a very high compliment if you say it genuinely. But here it’s condescending. Like this is the core of the person being spoken about, and that core is a taboo. Like it’s pity for an illness, or warning of danger. They say the word as though they’re describing a creature, some animal of lesser mind.

“I’m proud of you for being friends with him.” “Why?” “Oh, you know, he’s special.”

To speak with one of ‘them’ is seen as a sacrificial act rather than basic human decency toward a human.

I love being praised. More than anything else in the world. I need to know I matter, to feel skilled and important, the good kind of special. But when I’m praised for something like this I feel dirty. I always try to be the hero when I see someone’s upset, even when it’s unneeded or undeserved, but not here. If I accept this praise it means I agree that I had to do something significant and difficult. It means that my friend is just a challenge that I beat. So, not only would I be lying, I’d also be insulting my friend, even if he wouldn’t be in earshot.

I want nothing more in life than to be special. The good kind.

I want to finish writing a book and become famous for it. I want adoring fans, and to make a difference in their lives. I want to be talked about as someone cool and worthy of awe and respect, maybe even envy. I want to know that my friends consider me important and good. I want everyone I meet to be so earnest about liking me that it forces out any thought about not being worth their time. I want to carry around the good special for everyone.

The word isn’t really that important to me, I don’t hold any affection for it. But I’m upset that it dehumanizes others, and mostly I’m upset that it dehumanizes me.

When I go into testing rooms, I’ve been to quite a few since childhood, they present games to test my brain. This is an awful way for me to show my symptoms. I do the best I can because it’s fun and I want to show off. I tend not to have “off” days when I visit them, especially because I’m rarely around triggers. They don’t see me cry because the lunch man took my apple juice cap. They don’t see me flail around because I hear someone chewing gum. They don’t hear my autistic friends explain to me how my experiences match theirs to an alarming degree. I need them to see my tears in action. I need to take my memories out of my brain and show them. They need to know everything I’ve done and they need to put a word to it and let me tell people.

Then, maybe, they won’t tell me to stop. To stop being too weird. Stop being too emotional. Stop being afraid of things no one else cares about. Stop “misidentifying” emotions. Stop all of it. To just be normal. Because no matter how much they want it to be true it’s not. It’s not. It never will be. I cannot be. I’m not normal.

There’s something both cathartic and terrifying in saying that.

“Stop doing that or they’ll think you’re special.”

If neither normal or special are options, what else do you want me to be?

People I’ve known for a year can see it. Why can’t you, who’s known me my whole life? Stop making that face when I bring this stuff up, don’t tell me I’m copying my friends, don’t tell me my friends are weak. They are not weak, and neither am I when I act like them. When I am true to myself I am strong. Don’t tell me that strength isn’t the real me. But I think they still ought to know me as “bad” special, as much as I hate the word, because then at least they’d know me.

#college essay #ferrenpost #autism

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dropout-ninja · 9 months

Note

:3cc Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

(Picture me headbonking you like a cat)

Why would you do this to me with my 108 fics and more wips in docs not yet posted (some of which would make this list)

I am terrible at picking rankings help

Uhhhh

When I Wake From This Dream With Chains All Around Me (Hollow Knight) where my HK writing got kicked off. Longfic.

It’s Burned In My Mind and all of its associated works (Hollow Knight) absolute fever dream, wrote in a splurge of dissociation, wild time and probably my favorite fic I’ve written. Multichap.

The If We Could Just Be What We Wanted verse (Transformers Prime with a dose of a bunch of other continuities) particularly the first one (which needs edits but in terms of tone and characters and me managing plots genuinely holds up really well to the last few years), Damned If I Do (oneshot), and poor Chaotic Unity (longfic), who I had so many seeds of foreshadowing put into the first fic for and then it got read by like five perfect of the original’s readers XD

control’s graveyard (Monsterverse Godzilla. Yep.) entirely self indulgent fun times, power dynamics central, character studies on everyone, I poured into worldbuilding and backstories and I think I managed to do show don’t tell with them better here than I manage elsewhere. Someone said that I managed to keep the main character “alien and genuinely despicable” while somehow keeping them sympathetic, and that praise is put on my mental fridge forever. I reread this fic more than I do any of my other ones. Genuinely my favoritism for it is showing hard. Multichap.

Immolation (MTMTE/Lost Light) Haven’t read this one in a year so grammar wise I’m sure it’s a wreck, but my 3am brain went off on this one and its stream of consciousness style. Oneshot.

Wyrm Off A String (Hollow Knight) based on crack and others’ art, ridiculous premise, somehow the best worldbuilding and foreshadowing of a twist ending I’ve done. Oneshot.

Linger (Hollow Knight) mad niche, another one that began because of crack and shitposts I saw. Loss of self, body horror, psychological horror, non linear dream madness, what’s not for me to love. Multichap in progress

Wallow (Hollow Knight) another incredibly niche one nobody asked for, that is actually going to be turned into a multichap and has a lot of juicy to a self indulgent author tension and shenanigans already written, but I’m waiting until I’ve written most all of it before I start posting the new chapters. Dubbed by my friends as the Mean White Lady Fic. Traitor Lord my beloved. (Oneshot on ao3, multichap to be)

sometimes family is a mad scientist spider, his amoral ex, their build-a-child kit gone right, and the human sidekick (IDW2005 Transformers) oneshots collection. Quite proud of the Verity and Prowl povs. Tarantulas my blorbo.

ex cinere (House of Ashes) for capturing the voice and worldbuilding after I relistened to Randolph’s things a million times. I feel like I managed to keep aliens alien for it (short multichap)

And CarnEVILs? In MY Dirtmouth? (It’s More Likely Than You Think!) (Hollow Knight) halloween oneshot with an Elderbug pov that feels very Elderbug and Dirtmouth vibes as good here as in Chains. Elderbug did not enjoy his obligatory grimm teatime™️.

Hey look this is not five. 108 fics too difficult to narrow down for me

#ashyronfire #I can’t narrow it down to five #I didn’t even get to get to things like my first HK oneshot #wherein the radiance ripped her own heart out to stop dealing with mortal fears and it was what became the nightmare heart #My fic library has some weeeird ones in it #something for everyone perhaps!#also didn’t mention any of the wips that are Long but not yet on ao3 #like a certain kung fu panda longfic that is unreliable narrator loveliness #I may write a lot of niche things that are self indulgent because no one else had written them yet #but I do tend to love my works outside of hating the grammar and language errors I find later #thanks for the ask anyway XD #I feel so awkward tagging this with its fandom but uhh #hollow knight #transformers fics #my fics #Godzilla #Monsterverse #transformers

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etherealcheol-mp3 · 2 years

Text

SVT as colors and things that remind you of them

sorta first post...mainly since the revamp and also first post like this !! i started writing this out as a list of things just for my own enjoyment, like what were the first colors and items that came to my mind when i thought of each member. after a while it turned into a lot more than a short list of 2-3 things and more like my view of each of the members in a relationship and the little things or colors that remind you of them. i hope you enjoy this little braindump of mine :)

TW//CW: just pure fluff man, this literally hurt my heart to write it was so soft, a smidgen of angst in hoshi’s if you like...close one eye and tilt your head a bit, also the tiniest bit suggestive but it really isn’t meant to be i just am feral i guess

none of the gifs used are mine, all credit goes to the rightful owners !

Seungcheol:

- red

- cherries

- beanies

- bright smiles

- fond gazes

- oversized jackets

- tight hugs

- your head resting on his shoulders and his resting on yours

- feeling safe and loved

- a hand around your waist

- late night calls as you head home from school or work

- him pouting as you try to grab the bill on dates

- quiet nights in where you find yourself just taking the other in and feeling eternally grateful to have found someone so wonderful

- him trapping you in morning cuddles and complaining when you remind him you have obligations other than being in bed with him

- him whining at you saying ‘no’ to morning kisses because of morning breath

- him showing you off at any possible moment because he’s so proud of you and of being able to love you

- he asks you to put a polaroid of him or the two of you in the back of your phone and rushes to do the same once he sees you agree with a fond laugh

- cheek and temple kisses at the most random of moments ‘just because’

- cooking together only to laugh at the others mistakes because of course you forgot to soak the seaweed before adding it (god i’m so in love with you)

- flowers gifted on random days but never in a set pattern so you never anticipate them and are constantly surprised

- blanket forts when you feel like the world is a little too much for you

- running your hands through his hair as he collapses onto your chest at the end of a long day

- always holding hands, poking dimples, squishing his cheeks and kissing his nose to see it scrunch up

Jeonghan:

- white

- angels

- pinky promises

- giggles (both genuine and evil)

- playful shoving of arms while laughing

- thumbs gently stroking your knuckles

- him smoothing down your hair with a small smile

- poking your cheeks and arms at any given moment

- blowing raspberries on each other just to hear the other groan is (faux) annoyance

- spending more time debating what to eat for dinner than actually eating in the long run

- holding hands in the car and him letting you play whatever music you want as he drives

- lighthearted scolding but he truly just wants the best for you

- him leaving extra bottles of water/ snacks/ medicine in your bag or where he knows you’ll find them just to make sure you’re taking care of yourself

- the type to tell a story about you on a livestream and casually mention you’re the love of his life (only after you’ve talked extensively about going public though)

- mornings spent in silence and seen through squinted eyes as you’re handed a muffin and mug/cup of juice

- understanding each other without words

- him joking that you can’t live without him whenever you visit him at work while he’s the one with an arm wrapped around you and the person who texted you asking if you were doing anything with endless “:(“

- being the only person who can see through his teases and faux nonchalance and reassuring him in an equally discreet way (squeezing his hand and caressing his cheek are favorites of his)

Joshua:

- peach/ sunset orange

- beaches

- interlocking hands

- sleeping in

- chivalry that becomes a competition of who can open the door first for the other

- exaggerated kisses on the cheek

- chin in the palm of your hand as you wonder where this person was all your life

- sending him links to embarrassing moments/ pictures of himself and getting light threats of blocking your number in reply

- cute nicknames and referring to each other as them more than your actual names

- making each other laugh at the most mundane of things

- inside jokes

- grocery shopping dates (the type to make going to the post office or getting a flu shot a date just because you’re together)

- saying something offhandedly once a few weeks ago only to be asked about it later on or surprised with it when you least expect it

- making everyone else wonder if you both are able to read each other’s mind because you often just have to look at one another to remember an old joke or know what the other needs

- matching mugs

- downloading a phone game that becomes a long running competition of who can reach a higher level

- spraying his cologne on as many things as he can before he has to leave for a while due to his work

- just wanting to spend time together and being content if it has to be with the other members because just looking into each other’s eyes and feeling the love in them is more than enough to keep you going

Jun:

- pastel green

- stuffed animals

- laughing and talking to each other during movies

- an arm always being thrown over your shoulder

- playfully poking each other’s sides to make the other squirm

- laying on top of you and letting out a sigh of content

- playing with each others hair

- deep talks while sitting together next to a large window in your apartment

- learning his/ your native language and saying it’s because you want to better communicate with each other’s family (not quite realizing how much the sentiment made the others heart flip and truly realize that this love is the one they’ve waited their whole life for)

- memes as a love language

- going outside to draw on the sidewalk with chalk

- losing him in a department store only to find him a few minutes later running towards you with a bright smile and an armful of baby clothes/ food he thought looked cute or wanted to try

- dates where one of you introduces the other to one of your favorite things (movie, food, hobby, etc.)

- getting your ass handed to you in skee ball but getting to pick the prize with the points he earned

- laughing wholeheartedly at him as he wonders if it’s because he was actually funny or if you just love him that much (realizing it doesn’t matter which is true if it means you lean into him like that and continue to giggle as you fill his body with warmth)

Soonyoung:

- orange

- tigers

- late night drives

- cuddling on the balcony as you watch the sunset

- racing to the entrance of wherever you’re going (only after he’s checked that there are no oncoming cars though)

- aching cheeks from nonstop smiling

- holding your face in his hands with gleaming eyes of wonder

- quiet nights of shared tears and comforting hands assuring each other that it’ll be okay

- finding happiness in small games of truth or dare and making bets with one another

- endless texts throughout the day about any and everything

- spending more hours on facetime than you can count when you aren’t able to be together

- him holding you accountable and reminding you to take care of yourself or to do the work/ assignments you’ve been avoiding

- being able to gain infinitely more energy when seeing the other but also being able to let go of some of the weight you’ve been holding onto as you go in for a desperately needed hug

- wanting to have you everywhere he goes but knowing you have a life outside of him and respecting it (doesn’t mean he won’t offer to buy you a cell service plan if it means you don’t feel as weary about facetiming for hours a day when he’s on tour)

- being endlessly proud of you and all your achievements

- shy confessions of love for the first time in the middle of a grocery store or something just because it was the first time he realized it and didn’t want to waste a second of his life without telling you (he hasn’t gone a day since without making sure you still know he loves you with every fibre of his entire being)

Wonwoo:

- blue

- sweater paws

- shared blankets

- record players

- back hugs

- soft smiles

- taking baths together and letting him pick the bathbomb or oils

- him always carrying around bandaids and your favorite chapstick while you now carry an extra lens cleaning cloth and wintergreen mints he softly whines about needing after waking up from naps

- kisses on your temple

- interlocked pinkies under the table just to remind yourselves that your person is there (while also conveniently avoiding teasing from the others at the table)

- him taking the teasing in stride when it does inevitably come and moving to wrap an arm around you as he takes the jokes and lets them all be aimed at him so that you don’t ever feel uncomfortable

- softly asking if you’re ok and never making it seem as if it’s a problem or burden if you aren’t

- passing books you just finished onto the others stack of ones to read next

- picking out games to play together either on your phones or storyline games on his console/ pc- downloading apps like “locket” or “noteit” on your phones so he can send you little messages or pictures whenever he’s thinking of you (always)

- trying your hardest to make him feel confident and loved by blatantly stating things like ‘you’re the hottest man i’ve ever seen’ in the middle of the chip aisle at a convenience store at approximately 1:04 am and feeling accomplished once he starts laughing and thanking you with a kiss on the forehead instead of blushing and denying your praises while turning away like he used to

Jihoon:

(bouncie boi)

- tan/ beige

- worn leather couches/ recliners

- a hug at the end of a long day

- lo-fi study playlists

- a breath of relief at finally finding peace

- coming home

- the culmination of emotions when your person finally allows themself to be vulnerable and seek out your help

- sitting on laps

- kisses to the juncture of his neck (knowing he’s busy but unable to hold back the affection)

- soft laughs that sound more like letting out a puff of breath

- messages of love and encouragement that always make the others day truly better

- his instagram would feature you but only in a way that’s noticeable to the both of you

- writing songs for you that will never be released but have found a home in your music library and your heart

- asking you for advice on his work even if you have no idea about his line of work

- makes sure you take care of yourself and always stocks his studio with fuzzy socks and your favorite snacks as well as a blanket you always curl up in

- you making sure he eats better than he usually does when he’s working towards a deadline

- spamming his phone with selfies and videos whenever he leaves it laying around (one of his favorites is a video of you in his studio sitting in his chair with your blanket wrapped around you, not much is said as you push yourself away from the desk while in the chair and begin to spin in circles with soft giggles, the video ends with you rolling back towards the camera with rosy cheeks and a soft ‘i love you’ on your lips as you move to stop the recording)

- he writes lyrics and makes beats with things you challenge him to (it started with you saying something like “i bet you can’t make a song with this sound sampled” or “there’s no way you’ll be able to add this to the lyrics without it sounding horrible” but truly you never doubted his abilities to turn anything into a masterpiece for a second, you just hated seeing him so frustrated and mumbling to himself that he was a failure or that whatever he made was horrible)

Seokmin:

- yellow/ gold

- the sun

- daisies

- laughter of any and all kinds

- going to playgrounds late at night just to talk and push each other on the swings

- endless photos of you taken unknowingly that you find on his phone only to show him the same kind of pictures of him that live in your own once he starts to get shy about being found out

- blushing cheeks

- shy pecks on the cheek and corner of each others lips

- endless cuddling

- him staying awake after you’ve fallen asleep on him just watching and wondering what he did to have someone like you end up in his arms

- cooking together only to get told it’s his treat and to stop helping (he allows you to wrap your arms around his waist though, content to have you watch him work as you press random kisses on his shoulders and back, humming along to whatever song is playing from either of your phones)

- whispers of love at late hours

- having a song for your relationship

- knowing you can turn to each other for comfort at any moment

- he always has a spare of your essential items in his bathroom and space for your clothes in his closet and dresser

- him kissing you deeply when you say you never realized how much stuff you had left over at the dorm over the years while doing laundry together (he tells you that your things look right when they’re placed next to or with his, you can’t help but agree and mention shyly that the home you two will eventually share would be beautiful. you don’t know that this is the moment Seokmin realized you were all he wanted in his life and that he saw images of a beautiful future the two of you would spend together. He’s been stuck on the image of a ring for weeks but for now the image of an empty apartment and shiny new key in hand is more than enough for him)

Mingyu:

- pastel yellow

- the sunrise reflecting off of skyscrapers

- golden retrievers

- the light groans you let out while stretching when you first wake up

- the soft sounds of boiling water and a knife cutting up vegetables

- large hoodies

- movie nights

- bright smiles that are followed by contagious laughter

- promises that are never broken

- tucking hair behind the others’ ears

- grocery shopping dates pt. 2

- late night drives to nowhere in particular (finding ‘your spot’ along the way)

- bowling dates that end in laughter and teasing at who got the worst score

- feeling protected

- comparing hand sizes

- kissing the beauty marks on his face and earning yourself shy smiles in response

- him jokingly calling you his spouse in front of others to see you blush only to have it backfire on him after a while when you start smiling and agreeing with him (the nail in the coffin is the wink send his way after the confident nod and hum of agreeance)

- showering together with nothing in mind besides trying to make the craziest shapes out of each other’s hair

- polaroid cameras that take your favorite pictures of the two of you

- spa nights where you pamper each other and try your hardest not to smile and mess up your face mask

- drying his hair with a towel after he pouts at you for saying ‘no’ at first

- noticing all the clothes you left in his room mysteriously disappeared when you decide to stay the night and him “graciously” offering you one of his shirts instead

- never teasing him too much about being clumsy and instead wordlessly helping him to clean up any messes made or kissing the spots that will soon bruise

- him tracing the letters to spell out ‘i love you’ on your stomach one night as you’re about to drift off to sleep only to have you turn in his arms and press a kiss to his lips as a bright smile grows on both of your faces

Minghao:

- forest green

- frogs

- feeling content with nights in and conversations about whatever comes to mind

- knowing you never have to question your love or the love he feels for you

- painting dates with soft music and red wine

- soft words of concern and asking if there’s anything you can do to help rather than anger or pushing the other to open up

- healthy amounts of independence and space whenever needed

- knowing the password to each other’s phones not because you asked but because it was given to you

- cute selfies that end up as lockscreens

- letting you pick out his outfit for the day and doing the same for you

- sharing jewelry and accessories and smiling like a fool whenever you see it become a focal point of his social media posts and thus a trending topic on twitter

- nose kisses

- forehead kisses

- overall fondness

- the sound of soft rain hitting the window

- slow dancing in your living room for no particular reason

- teasing him with old photos or videos he finds embarrassing but never taking it too far

- playing with each other’s hands mindlessly while sitting next to one another

- catching him staring at you longingly but never revealing what’s on his mind (he looks at you and sees the sun, the light that warms him and allows him to go about his days with peace of mind, the energy that’s essential and boundless, the heat that can be dangerous if not taken seriously, but most of all he sees the golden rays of hope and anticipation of the even brighter days to come. he hopes when you see him you see something just as bright and warm and loving in your universe but he thinks he’d be more than happy to be just a mere spec of dust in the grandness of your galaxy, as long as it meant the two of you would be together for as long as the stars burned in the night sky)

Seungkwan:

- peachy pink

- corgis

- wide eyes full of wonder

- playful teasing that ends in trapping the other in your arms

- neck kisses

- random facetime calls that last hours

- sending updates on each other’s days when you’re unable to answer a call

- memorizing orders and favorites just to surprise you with later on

- letting you do his makeup or hair just because you asked

- trapping you in a bone crushing hug as he loudly sings love songs to annoy you (you only ever laugh in response and hug him back)

- endless banter that is never meant to harm

- photo taking credits in captions on instagram

- bringing you up in conversation even if you’re not there because you’re all that’s on his mind anyway

- wanting to shout his love from the rooftops

- being able to bravely face the day ahead after waking up in each other’s arms

- enjoying the domestic and mundane moments more than anything else

- tangerines

- walks along the beach with your hands interlocked

- having a shared night routine

- him randomly patting a beat to a song you don’t recognize on your thigh or waist or wherever his hand has found home

- being each others biggest supporter

- singing you to sleep

- tight hugs that always come when you need them most but are too scared to ask

- being each others confidence booster

- him groaning about your cold hands/ feet when you fall into bed together after a tiring day

- always making sure he ends the day or call after seeing/ hearing you smile or laugh

- him never going a single day without making sure you hear him say he loves you (tours and time difference make it harder but he’s happy to send you voice messages as whatever time he can to make sure you don’t go a full 24 hours without hearing it)

Vernon:

- the gray of large buildings with bright lights shining on them

- headphones

- humming songs softly

- the motion of life and people moving all around you but not feeling alone or scared of it at all

- innocent smiles full of genuine love

- playfully pulling a hat or beanie down over the others eyes just to hear them snort in amusement

- resting heads on shoulders

- watching videos on a phone together

- sending pictures of cats with hearts around them as a love language

- trying to hold back excitement as you show each other things you love but knowing it’s hopeless as they can see right through your failed attempt of nonchalance

- making playlists together or for each other

- kisses on the cheek just to see the rosy blush that follows

- falling asleep backstage despite the noise and chaos surrounding you both because the only comfort you need is right next to you

- playing with each other’s hands and hair subconsciously

- making a list on his notes app about all your favorite things and places and the seemingly insignificant things you’ve told him over the years (never knowing he wrote it down as yet another reason to hold onto you and love you for as long as you’ll let him)

- trying on random sunglasses in stores and challenging each other on who can find the worst outfit combo in said store

- him randomly meowing to get your attention if you don’t respond to him

- asking questions in one language and getting a response in another

- genuinely shocking each other at times when you both are thinking about/ craving/ wanting the same thing (almost as if you’ve been together for years...)

- falling in love with your best friend

- the type to randomly gasp in excitement or send you a bunch of ‘!!!!’ only to explain it with something along the lines of ‘I just remembered we’re dating! and I get to kiss you and tell you I love you whenever I want!’

- lots of ‘I miss you’ texts

- you both having certain inside jokes about certain emojis or trends that no one else gets (’ok I didn’t mean to sent the violin emoji with that but...it’s still on brand’ ‘we were literally about to send nudes what do you mean it was on brand??’ ‘...violins can be sexy too :/’ ‘okay fair’)

- taking endless pictures of each other and cute selfies that might not make it onto his instagram but are always saved as a new lockscreen that changes to a new favorite picture of you a few days later (he can never really pick a favorite because his true favorite thing in life is you, and all you have to offer)

Chan:

- purple (the purple color of neon signs and flashing stage lights/ graphics behind your favorite artist on stage)

- childhood crushes

- tight hugs

- playfully pouting out your lips for a kiss as the other turns their head away with laughter

- endless inside jokes that are never shared

- nervously biting on your lower lip as you try to figure out how to show your lover you care but not wanting to mess it all up (being assured you could never mess up because what you both have together is real and meant to last for a long time)

- shy first everything’s together (first kiss together, first date together, first everythings because it’s the first time doing it together)

- the feeling of falling in love with your best friend and first love all in one

- loving to give you all his clothes

- saying his favorite version of you is bare faced and relaxed laying in his arms even when you groan at him for being so cheesy

- rolling your eyes at each other with a fond smile

- lighting up at the sight of you entering the room

- the excitement of learning new things about each other

- another one to blow raspberries on your face right after a soft kiss

- arcade dates

- always being ready to back each other up

- telling each other everything (he loves to hear about the latest drama that happened at work/ school, he’s ready to have his jaw drop at whatever Nancy from Accounting said this time)

- forcing him to eat, shower, brush his teeth, etc. after he comes home late

- speaking in hushed whispers, your words only meant to be shared between the two of you

- road trips

- him giving you honest advice but never hurtful

- always wants to hold you

- the type to send you random pictures or videos with the caption ‘us’ (making your heart melt everytime)

- him returning your energy even with the strangest of things (the type to fully entertain you when you ask him things like ‘would you still love me if I was a worm?’ or ‘if we were both frogs would you let me onto your lilypad?’

- kisses shared under the moonlight as you stay over for the first time (not trying to escalate to anything more, but just needing to show the all encompassing love you feel for the other at that very moment or else your heart just might burst)

#Seventeen #svt #seventeen imagines #seventeen preferences #svt imagines #svt imagine #svt x reader #svt x female reader #seventeen x female reader #seventeen x reader #svt preferences #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt headcanons #seventeen headcanons

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aonoexpat · 7 months

Text

21-10-2023

A lot has happened, and I haven't been able to sit down and write about it. I'll do this in chronological order!

The guy that had helped me fix my sink turned out to also(!) have very little understanding of the real meaning of consent, and had the appalling audacity to tell me to my face that me being uncomfortable with his advances was "my fucking problem." I got really pissed off and left that loser in a dust cloud, went to the beach to clear my head, and then backtracked along the same road to get him off my trail. I camped out in a paid campsite, trying to get a sense of safety and security before I responded to the text he thought it would be okay to send me afterwards, telling him to delete my number and never approach me again. I felt very upset about the whole situation, because I consistently try to put myself out there, to connect with people, and I am too regularly met with such complete disregard for my boundaries. It makes me want to just shut myself down and not talk to people any more, if that's the only thing that guarantees being respected. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to live like that because of men like him, and the one from a couple days before. I'm trying to focus on being proud that I took care of myself and was assertive enough to put some distance between him and me.

So, I gathered myself, had a well-deserved hot shower and a vegan crêpe from an amazingly kind French lady who looked absolutely awesome in her Halloween makeup, and got myself ready to get back on the road. I did find a pretty cool spider in the camp kitchen, which got me proper scared because I thought it could be a (venomous) whitetail, but I think it was a grey house spider instead. I caught it by throwing my knife over the spot where it was dangling from the ceiling, sending it crashing to the table, and then quickly planting a glass over top of it, which I was actually really proud of:

After checking out of the campsite, I took a walk along Ship Creek beach to process the fact that I had officially made it to Te Waipounamu's West coast, all by myself this time! That afternoon I found myself in Te Moeka o Tūawe, wondering if the hike up to the glacier viewpoint would be worth the trouble, especially since the day had turned really cloudy really quickly. I ended up asking somebody who had just gotten back from the hike, and from the photos they showed me I think I'm glad I didn't take the chance, because the view was very underwhelming. I spent the evening cooking a proper meal, watching my shows and calling my dad. I went to bed early, because I had big plans for the next morning: getting up at 06:00 to drive out to Lake Matheson and hike the loop track, so I could watch the sunrise over Aoraki (Aotearoa's highest mountain peak, at 3,724 meters, which I had previously seen from the other side during the Hooker valley track, which was a really cool realisation!) and Horo-kōau (3,497 meters). That early in the morning the lake was quiet, making it almost a perfect mirror for the mountain range. It was genuinely one of the most magical things I've seen in a long time (thank you Liv for the tip!), and I had a great view of Fox Glacier from the viewpoints as well:

By the time I made it back to the car park, both mountain peaks had gotten covered in clouds, and they wouldn't be visible again all day. I'm so grateful that I got there in time, and got to see the mountains like that. And I met some really cool birds (a kea and a kererū) on my walk as well!

I took a quick nap in my car to make up for the lack of sleep the previous night, and then continued on my way to the next glacier: Kā Roimata o Hine Hukatere, which is Te Reo Māori for “Tears of the Avalanche Maiden”. It was named this after a legend of Hine Hukatere, who was an avid mountaineer. Her lover Wawe wasn't as fond of the mountains as she was, but she convinced him to come along with her for her next trip. As they climbed, Wawe struggled to keep up with her, and eventually slipped and fell to his death. Hine Hukatere watched him fall but could not prevent his death. “Her grief was so pronounced and her tears so excessive that the gods froze them as a perpetual memorial of her regret and sorrow."

By now the weather had turned, and it was raining almost non-stop. I made good use of one of the dry moments to undertake the hike to Callery gorge, which ended atop a (albeit slightly precarious) swing bridge that offered beautiful views of the icy-blue glacier melt waters entering the river:

In the late afternoon I finally laid eyes on the glacier itself, and it was a humbling experience. My eyes really didn't know what to make of the white, dirt-speckled mass in the distance at first, and I wasn't even sure if I was seeing the whole thing, or if part of it was still shrouded in clouds. I stayed in that valley for a long time, just marveling at the gorgeous view:

Just as it started raining again, I resumed my way, and I found a freedom camping spot near Hokitika for the night.

I ended up staying in that exact spot for two days, because the rain and wind were relentless and never-ending. I spent a significant portion of the time just closing and opening and closing Elrond's windows as the rain came and went and came back. Going outside was not appealing, let alone hiking. It was much nicer to stay in bed, block out the noise of the weather with my headphones and rest. I even ate my dinner cold because cooking was not an option!

As the visitor center in Hokitika told me the next day, apparently the West coast of Te Waipounamu was being hit with a bout of bad weather before it officially welcomed summer. I had to put my plans on hold for a couple more days to wait out the worst of it, because I really didn't want to do the beautiful hikes I had planned in the rain. So, not wanting to spend the next four days in my car alone, I booked myself into a campsite in Kumara for three nights. This ended up being one of the best decisions of my whole trip! I met two wonderful women there, who were in the exact same situation: heading North, but waiting for the weather to improve. We instantly connected, and we talked for hours. We went grocery shopping together and went for a nice little hike to old mining tunnels in the Māwhera area in the pouring rain, which was quite the adventure. I got my fill of Wi-Fi and using it to watch stupid videos, and I finally managed to catch up on the first five episodes of the new season of Our Flag Means Death! Definitely recommend this kiwi-starred, heartwarming comedy series about 18th century pirates really just doing their best.

It's quite late right now so I'm going to end this here, but much more to come soon! I'm truly having the best time this past week and a half, and I'll soon tell and show you more reasons why. But I just wanted to say how happy I am, how proud I am of how far I've come, and how grateful I am to get to (soon) end this Te Waipounamu trip on a fantastically high note. Much love ❤️

#aotearoa #backpacking #van life

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